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II. LONDON, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR, HATES or ADVERTISING One (quart, one insertion- ll.O One square, two insertions 1.6 One square, one month - 8M For larger advert iseraenVe liberal con racts will be made. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, $1.50 PER YEAR Strictly in Advmet. VOL. XIV. PITTSBORO CHATHAM CO., N. C, FEBRUARY 1, 1892. NO. 23. On an Old Song. Litt'e snatch of ancient soul-, What has made thee live so lonjf Flying on thy win;; of rhyme Lightly down the deptlis of time, Telling nothing strange or rare, Scarce a thought or image there Nothing hut the old, old title Of a hclplcsi lover's wail; Offspring of an idle I our, Whence lias come thy lusting powerf Iiy what turn of rythm or phrase, liy what subtle, careless gr.ice, Can thy music charm our ears After full three hundred years. I.itt'o sons, since thou were horn, In the Reformation mom, How mud) great has passed away, Shattered or by slow decay ! Stately piles In ruins crumbled. Lordly bouses lost and bumbled. Throne and realms in darkness hurled Noble flags forever furled, Wisest si hi mes by statesmen spun. Time has seen them one by one Like the leaves of Autumn fall A little song outlives them all. W. K. II. Leek, In the Academy. A Country Doctor's Patient, Tno summer of 1801 was the llret gay season (jlcnham had ever known The picturesque little town, nestled in one of the most beautiful regions of I lie Cutskills, lind been overlooked heretofore by nil but n small conting ent of summer boarders. But lust season fho old (iriggs House, which overhung 1 1 io villago on iho mountain side, having been thoroughly rcmml o!ed, was reeln istcned the Bean Se. jour, and (Venhaui was cxteusivoly advertised us ono of tho most charm ing and healthful resorts about Xow York. Among tlio earliest nrrivals nt tho Bonn Scjotir was Mrs. Aintleigh, a lovely young widow, who woro tho most elegant toilettes Cilenhnm had over seen. But inon were scarce at the Beau Srjour during .Tilly, and tiino hang heavy on Mig. Ainslcigh's hands She was tiifl'cring from a slight neiV' nt I nek ono af'ernnoii when she sent for a physician young Dr. Moubray, u ha had been graduated (hire yesrs beforo from the New Yolk Polyclinic. Tall and Mender, with brilliant dark eyes nnd a beautiful soft voice, Dr. Mowbray would have passed any. wheie for a handsome innii. Mrs. Ainsli'igb foil entirely relieved of her net voumicks after a quarter of an hour' conversation with him, mid did not think it necessary to havo the pre scription lie left filled. lie called the next afternoon to inquire for his pa. licnt, and found her suffering only from a slight headache. Sho was drcsseal in a ravishing gown of deli cate lavender, and Mowbray thought her tho most beautiful creature he had ever seen. After his third visit he felt himself to bo desperately in lovo. lie bad known her a fortnight, when ono morning, as his finger rested on her pulse, sho startled him by saying: "I overheard two old tabbie9 talk ing about you in tho verandah yester day." Mowbray looked a bi.r inquiringly. "They said that woman with the doll's face, who wears four gowns a day, had designs upon yon. I wonder if they could havo meant me," sho nd ded, with a look of innocent surpriso as though the thought had just struck her. Mowbray blushed like a schoolboy. In his agitation he pressed her round, white wrist. Sho gently withdrew it, but as. her hand slid through his, her lingers teemed to heroine entangled in his own. and before ho knew it ho had bent his lips to her hand. 'Do not bo angry, for I love you," he stammered, aghut as his own ef frontery. Sho was looking at him with an amused smile. I'm not angry to bo loved by you but are you not doing a foolish thing?" The next two weeks were idyllic ones for Mowbray. They walked to gether, drovo and danced together; then tho hotel began to fill up. Mrs. Ainsleigh had a whole train of admir ers, and the young doctor was oficn miserably jealous. Sometimes ho stayed away from her a wholoday; once it was two days, and Mio gently reproached hint "This is my harvest and I must work," he said, somewhat gloomily. "It Is playtime with your other ad mirers, but I must prcparo for the time when I will be married," and his eyes grew lender. "Married you are going to mar. ry?" sho asked in surprise "whom?'' Whom? Why you. my dearest, of course." Met marry me? Oh, Robcit!" "Why why what do you mean?' What would you do with me?'' Mowbray was too siupfncd to an. wer. She regarded him wiili a compas sionate smile. "Poor Robert is ii possible you can have been so serious? Don't look like that or I shnll think mr beautiful summer is going to be all spoiled.'' Bhe roso and went to herdek; Inen returning bent over ids shoulder with a caiessing gesture aud put a paper into his hand. "Look at that." It was a dressmaker's bill and at the hot Urn four figures danced before Mowbray's eyes. He could not see what they were. "Think of you marrying a woman with such taste9, at the outset of your career, Robert," sho said regretfully. "Thero aro moro of these, but this woman is becoming troublesome. I shall havo to rofcr her bill to Mr. Ainsleigh, and then I supposo thero will be trouble; thero generally in in such cases, but " Mr. Ainslcigh 1" gasped Mowbray, almost reeling from this second blow, "but but " "Havo I never spoken to you of Mr. Ainsleigh, R.hert?" 6ho asked innocently. "Yon arc you aro not a widow, then?" "Oh, dear, vc," bho replied laugh ing softly. " Mr. Ainsleigh is my late husband's elder brother, and nc;s as a sort of guardian to me. He is verv rich, and ho thinks ho wants to marry me." " And you .ire going to marry him?" asked Mowbray faintly. 'I cannot tell I do not know. Oh, Robert! why did you spe;ik of this hateful subject of marriage? I don't want to think of it. I was so happy just to know that you loved me. I find it so pleasant to be loved. Why in 'ist men begin to talk of marriage right away?" Mowbray was sick at he.nt and miserable. He went a.vny pmsiiadcd that his happiness had been wrecked by a heartless woman. IIo icsolved never to sco her again. Two days later sho had another nervous attack and sent for him. '"Mr. Ainsleigh is coming next week," sho said, "and wo shall prob ably leave for Bar Harbor soon after ward. Let us miiko the most of the time, Robert ; we mav never meet again mid wo are too fond of ono an other to quarrel." Toor Mowbray was too far gone to protest; ho was very unhappy but he came to seo hor every day. Then Mr. Ainsleigh arrive 1. He was a tall, silent man, of about fifty. Ho met Robert pleasantly enough, and to tho surpriso of the young physician there was not tho least change in tho relations between himself and Mrs. Ainsleigh. They walked ami rode to gether as before, and Mowbray was almost happy again. Ho felt as though he might win Helen yet, when one morning Mr. Ainsleigh followed him from tho room and sent a cold chill to his heart by saying : "Doctor, Mrs. Ainsleigh and I leave for Bar Harbor the day after tomor row. Will you do me the favor to send your bill to tho hotel in the morning?" To refuse was impossible. 'What would Mr. Ainsleigh think of such an action from a stranger? Would it not arouse Ids suspicions and injuro Helen? Yet how could he tako money from her his beloved I Still ho was in great need of money ; and if tho bill was presented aud paid it would serve liiin in good stead. Mowbray went home and thought it all over. Tho result was that he penned the following document: "Dr. Robert Mowbray presents his compliments to Mr. Herbert Ains lcigh, and, in accordance with his do sire, incloses bill for soi vices rendered Mrs. Ainsleigh: To M consultations at houe at f 27."i Medicines and sundries :'" Total The next afternoon she called at hU office. The first thing she did was to take from her porleinonnaie a roll of crisp, ircsh bank notes, which she laid on the table. They conversed for a short time, without very profound emotion, on their coming separaiion. They won dered if they would ever meet again. and prated they might. Then a some what awkward silence foil betwcea them. Mowbray was uncomfor'ably conscious of tho p esonco of the bank notes on the table befo e him. He tried (o murmur in his deepest, soft est voice something particularly sad aud loving, but the wliile cipher on a twenty-dollar bill, with its delicately interlacing green lines, seen.ed to tre at him like a great mocking eyo. He glanced at Helen, m l saw that sho too was looking at the money with t significant expression. And mi Man ly he understood that she was thinking of Iter milliner's and dressmaker's bills. Then an idea occurred to him. He rose, and taking tho money, counted ul $150, which ho put in his vest pockot, then taking the two ,'iaioU f bis inamorata, he kis cd tin m pas--ioiiiiU iy, and slipped Hie remaining bills in the opening of her glove, pressing her fingers over them. "Dearest," ho murmured, " we must part; my heart is well nigh broken at tho thought, but wc will lovo each other while wo may, and that wo may never forget tho happy hours wo havo parsed together. 1 wish that wo may each preserve a sou venir which shall always recall them. Let m divido this money, and each purchase a keepsake a jewel, which will remain to us forever a mute testi monial of our vanished happine's." Ho had spoken with great feeling and wus him-elf deeply affected; but Helen rose calmly, deliberately drew out Iho bank notes from her glovo and returned them to her portemou nnie. And it was not until sho had gone, without giving him a last good-bye kiss, that ho realized sho was furious at earring away only half the monoy. Xoiv Orleans Time-Democrat. Depravity in a Bog. Kdniond Gros is tho owner of a bull terrier dog which is pronounced tho greatest inebriate canine of his breed. Gros is a medical student, and as such, he had gathered a number of specimens and preserved them in al cohol. His studies for examination came to an end some days, ngo, and having no further uso for the speci mens, ho had tho jars and their con tents removed to the cellar of his homo for future disposal. "Sport," which is the name of the drink-loving dog, sinclledout the alcohol and immediate ly proceeded to upset the ju s, thereby breaking them and causing tho spirits to form a pool, which ho lapped up. Gros's attention was first callod to what had happened by tho peculiar antics of Sport. Ho howled during half tho night, which was a slrango contrast to his ordinary good behavior, and when Gros went down to seo what was the matter lie found him jumping about in a most unaccount able manner, mapping at tho floor ninl the air and howling all tho while. Tho dog recognized his master and sought shelter behind him, as though from some invisible foe. Ho was perfectly exhausted from the excrciso ho had gone through and fell asleep, only to awaken a few moments later and bite his own paws. All these symptoms, as well ns tho empty specimen jars, were indications enough for tho student to diagnose his first raso as one of delirium tremens. Sport was better yesterday, but could not be coaxed buck into the j cellar, where he saw green-eyed rats with blue tails and lots of teeth. San Francisco Fxaminer. She Itrauk Haitian Blond. "I wonder," writes a Kiiropean traveler, "how many Americans who have visited the Invalides at Paris aro aware i f tho fact that tho body and especially tho heart of one single and olitary member of the gentle sex aro preserved in that resting place of France's greatest military command ers. She is no other than the famous Mile, du Sumbrcuil, tho young girl who, during tho days of the i evolu tionary terror of 1702, saved her father's life by consenting to drink a glass of human blood. Although tho Count do SombrcuM's life was spared ou that occasion, yet lie was guillo tined in tho following year with his two sous. After their death Mile, do Sumbrouil mcceedod in escaping to (rijrmiiiiy, where Mie married a French emigre, Count de Villclun", who, on 1 1 a restoration in 1810, was appointed governor of the branch house of the Invalides at Avignon. It was thero that she died in 1823, and, when some twenty years later, the Avignon estab lishment was abolished aud tho peu sionei b transferred to the Invalided at Paris, they inado a point of carrying her remains along with them. These were deposited in tho vault of the pal ace of the Invalides, where her heart, contained in a funeral urn ot white marble, is placed in the choir of the chapel besido those, of tho famous Fnginoer Yanbaii and General Kie bcr." New Orleans Picayune. The Skin of a Mighty iivj. There is a hear ski.i on exhibition in Hudson's gun store that takes the cake. It i 0 1-2 feet in length and 8 1-2 feet across in tho widest place. Tho bear that wore this skin was a giizzly, and he lived in far-ofT Alaska. Judging from the sizo of the skin he must have been as targe as two ordinary cows, and could no' 'havo weighed less than i'ooo pounds. It is by far the largest hear skin that has ever lneu sem in Poitland, and even old Icsr-huntera who uie told of its di mensions shake their heads in an in cicdulous manlier until they sec it with their own eyes. Portland Or-rjfouian. IIIII.BKF.N'S CUMMIN. A MKMPIt WKSr lli'ilTINO. j A fanner went trotting upon his uray mar j liunipcty, bumpcty. hump: I With his daughter behind him. so rosy and j fnir, L'ltnprtr, lumpetv, lump: j A raven cried croak! and Hicy all tumbled I down, I JSunipfty, bumpi ty. 1 ump ! The mare broke ber knees and the farmer j liis crown, I.umpety, lurupety, lump! i The mischievous raven flew laughing iway, j Itumpety, buinpety. bump ! And vowed he would serve them the same 1 the next day, Lumpety, lumpily, lump' j - lirouklyn Citizen, j "OUMY." i Ono day, as Tommy was going past I tht! storeroom do r, ho saw that it ; was open. IIo pecjcd in and found I there was no one there. Then ho : went inside, and begun to look at iho ': things on tho shelves and tho table, j Pretty soon ho saw a large ccke, : beautifully ornamented, on tho top. j It lookod so good he wished ho had a ' big pieco of it, but lie know ho should j hnvc to wait for that. Then he j thought ho might just taste of (ho j icing, and ho broko oil" the tiniest bit I and put it in his mouth; then lie took ! another bit, and another. "Nobody'll notice it," lie said to himself; "I'll! havo just one more piece " But that limn a good sized pieco came off in his firgeis. "Oh, dear, I wish I had let i'. alone." ho thought. " What shall I do if mamma asks mo ' about it?" ; He laid tho piece back and turned ' to go out, but there was mamma jiut ; coming in the door. "I saw yon, Tommy," she said.: Then sho turned the cake around and told him to look at it now. Ho did look, and what do you think ' ho 6a w? Right in among Iho decora- j tious and reaching all rcro63 tho cako j wcro tho letters OM MY. "Do you know anybody by that name?" his mamiiia asked him. "Why, it's part of my nitnie," said j he. "Oh, mamma is it mine?" "No; your name is Tommy, and there isn't any T there. It can't be- j long to you." "Was it meant for me?" asked; Tommy, feeling very much ashamed. ; "Yes, I uindo it fur you and was! going to let you invite seme other1 children and have a little party sjiiio ' day soon ; but now I shall not, and , you can not havo any of it to cat." j Tommy began to cry, and his main-1 ma said: j "1 um sorry for you, but 1 must try 1 to euro my litllo boy of meddling. " j Aud it cured him; for after that when any of tho family saw him be-! ging to handle something he bad no! business with it was only necessary to j say "Oiiiniy" to make him stop, and' no one now can call Tommy a meddle somo boy. Christian Leader. THE TAIt TOCKFT. This time grandma wa going away to bo gouo a year, and Kitty was moro heartbroken thin at tlio other visit. "I'm so 'customed to havo you !'' she said. Grandma promised her a letter each week, but Kitty tolbcd in such a way that grandma was rcallv troubled. Suddenly grandma said brightly, "Kilty, sit up anil listen to a story wo have just a motnunt beforo the j carriage conies. ; "When Henry first began to wear' trouserd," went on grandma, "he was j exceedingly proud of his pockets, and I the things that went inio them were something astonishing, nud by bed. j time each night they were a sight to behold. "Well, one day ho camo Into the room with such a funny look on his face I knew he had hcon in mischief. 'Henry,' said I, 'where have you been ? i aud what have you in your pockets?'! for I saw him glance toward one of I his dear pockets. i "lie ttood first on ono foot, then on ' the other; tucked his chin down into 1 his neck and glanced up at mo from under his eyelashes, keeping his bauds j behind his back all (ho time, but he j did not answer, aud so I went up to ' him, and opening his pocket I had learned not to put my hands into them peeped in. and what do you j suppose I found? A pocketful of tar! j soft, black tar, quite melted and run ning down on his stockings. ' 'Well, Henry, ' I said, 'you have destroyed your pocket now, and will j have to get along without it:' and I cut the pocket out, which was tho on ly thing to do." j A Kitiy thought of grandma hold- ! ing up the pocketful of tar, aud little ' papa with his tar covered hands, she j hoist into a laugh, and the next mo. i iiient a gnodby kiss was pressed on ! her lips, and then dear grandma was j goue. Our Little Meu and Women. CAPTAIN BASSHTT. The Venerable Doorkeeper of the United States Senate. Some Stirring Episodes in His Long Official Career. "How do tho public men of today compare with thoso of half a century ago?" Captain Basctt, the venerable doorkeeper of tho Senate, was nsked. Tho men are much the same, but tho attitude cf tho people towards them has changed. Statesmen used i bo regarded with greater rcveicnee. Perhaps it is because there aro wvo great men in this generation than there used to be. We never ncd to see such young men in the Senate as in these days. The Senator wi'liont a gray head was tho notable excep tion. They used to bo more can ful of their remarks in debao than Senators ore nowadays. Hot words meant a call tut to Bladeus burg in ilmso times. I can re call several potiticul duels. When Congressman Ciliey was brought hack from his famous meeting, I saw his body in a boarding-house, which stood where the Capitol grounds aro. The days before tho civil war were crowded with exciting event. I was one of the first to reach Charles Sumner's desk after ho was assaulted. I helped to bind up his head, and ! haven piiec of tho cane which was broken over his shoulders. I heard Jcflerson Davis mnko his farewell speech in thoLcuate, and saw tho Southerners withdraw. Many whom I remember us boys I havo seen grow up to be prominent men. Senator Gorman often speaks of the days when I plavfully boxed his ears. IIo is (he only man who ever ciiinbed up from n page's scat ou the steps to a Senator's desk." "How many times have you turned back the Lands of tin: Senate clock?" "I can't count the occasions," he replied, smiling at the allusion. "The clock has been stopped at tin. closo of every session since 18 1 1, and no one has ever done it but myself. Some times 1 have turned it l ack only a minute cr two of time, uud once 1 gave the Government nn extra half hour to carry on its business." "Are yon ready to tell where Webster sat in the Senate?" the vet eran doorkeeper was asked. "Xot yet. I am the only man who knows that. It is my secret. Perhaps I will tell it in my book. I have been taking notes all theo years, mid they will be published soinetiino in the future, if not while I am alive, then by my children. How would -Sixty Years in the Senate' sound as the title of h book?" Captain Bactt asked laughingly. 'Seventy years would sound even better," was suggested. " rcrhaps so," ho said, ' but all of us must go in time. I am a plain man and never injured my constitution by dissipation. Seventy-two years is a long life to look back over, and that number is behind me now." They have been very easy years, too, despite tho stirring scenes he has witnessed and shared in, if Capt. Bassctt's placid face reflect the cur rent of his life. Washington Post. Little Tsui lew Me. The heiress of tho Chinese Lega tion, Tsui Yew Me, is ns much of a mystery in Washington as ever. She is now six mouths old and few people havo yet been allowed to meet her. When the nurse first look her out for an airing mch crowds appeared that the Minister decided it was not ad vis. able to take her out into the park in Dnpont circle, and her airings had to be confined to the Legation lawn. It took several weeks to secure an audience with her and then it evident ly was a serious matter to the Lega tion. Mr. Ho, the interpreter, was present when no less a personage than Minister Tsui appeared bearing M'ss Me. Lady Tsui was assisted by her attendants to the drawing room door and toddled to a chair herself. The Tsuis have one son and Miss Mo. The Minister is perfectly devoted to the littlo girl and wanted to know im mediately if Miss Me wasn't a pretty baby, as pretty as American babies. She is pretty, with running a'ui 'iid eyes and a regular butt mi of a mouth. She is also well behaved, because he weut to a stranger, stayed IS min utes without a mill iner and only ob jected when she was returned to her father's arms. Her clothes arc regu lar Chinese baby clothe", and over the various blue, red and yel ow pieces was a heavily quilted wrapper of pink bound with green and shaped iu't like Yum Yum'. All the time she wears a funny black silk cape with a hole cut out on the top of the crown. In the centre of tlio front is a brass or. j namcnt and a couple of bobbing rfid I pompoms. Four Hat coins arc sewnd along the front edge. They express wishes for her life ! long health, wealth and prosperity, j and were presented by friends when I she was born. The drollest feature is a little silver bell like a sleigh boll, that is ccwed on sin: top of the cap and tinkles with every move of tho baby's little head. The name of Mo signifies 'beauty" ami was given her because it is the Chinese name for America. She is the pride of the Legation ns well as of Minister and Lady Tsui, and if it liould happen that the Minister should be reappointed at the closo of his ti i m, which expires in December, Miss Me would he likely to ho stinted on an American education. New York Recorder. London Truant Schools. When a London Arab, otherwise ft bad boy, declines to go to school he is caught and sent to join a regiment of Ii uauts at ono of tho various truant schools that have been established for the purpose. Here he remains for as long a per iod as the manager deems desirable. If the boy behaves himself he is soon released on a license. If ho Ftill de clines to go to school he turns up nt the truant school again a9 sure as eggs arc eggs. When tbe-e littlo viliiuiig are captured they are dirty and rag ged. But soon all this is changed. Their hair is cut, they are put info a b. lib and a nice clean suit of clothes given t hem, coi.sisting of a pair of corduroy trousers, a shirt, a bluo soi a -'. blouse, a pair of 6ocks and somo stout boots. What a difference the bath and clothes imiko! Tlio brute becomes a human being. And the brute sceniB to feel this as he gives himself a sort of a shake and waiks off to join his fellow truants. From 6 o'clock in the morning un til 8 ut night tho boys arc actively employed, with short intervals of rest. Vint inii-t keep them nt it,-' says the governor. "It is part of the pmi itivo ili-cipline." I'p, wa.-h, dress, make bids, fold clothes, prayer, extr i ie. breakfast, school, drill, dinner, school, d: ill and so on. The house work of this largo establishment is done by the boys. They help (lie cook with Ibe dinner, and when tho dinner is cooked they clean Iho kitch en. They givo a hand to the latin dicss, starch, iron, and turn the man gle. There is wood chopping to bo done, and many small household du ties to perform, each of which leaches the boy the elements of low and order, which arc of great nid to him later on in life. Brooklyn Citizen. Oruriii of the Polynesians. "Iluve a theory about tho origin of the Polynesians," said Kev. Mr. Whitncv, a missionary. "I believe they left the Indian Archipelago about the beginning of the Christian era. They sell li d in flic numerous groups of islands in tho South Pacific. Many writers have supposed that the lan guage, spoken by the S.unoans is a branch of tho Malay tongue. I don't believe that. I think the Samoin lan guage is (ho loot language, to which mnnv additions have been made by tho Malays. The Samoans have preserved tho language in all the simplicity which charactei izi'd it when they brought it with them from the Indian Archipelgo. For years it was only a spoken language, hut the missiona ries have reduced it to writing. And the Saninaii lanpu il'O is ono of the must beautiful tongues in ibe world; it is even susceptiblo of finer shades of thought than ran be given in tho Knglish language. The Samoans como from the Aryan race, and the women when young arc exceedingly beauti ful. They are a hardy race, the men being on an average .r feet 10 inches in height. The Samoans nud the Ton gnus of the Friendly Is ands arc tho tallest races in the world. They havo a light olive complexion and havo keen faculities to acquire education." fChicago Herald. Precocious Intellerliialily. Remarkable, cases of precocious in tellectuality, preceding future power rather than wenknest or early decay, were John Smart Mill, w ho read Greek at thiec; and Maraulav, who read in-ce-santly from the time he was three vcaiso'd; but ordinary hiiniani.y is slower and should not he unduly has teiie 1. It is tounii io lie undoubtedly the case that progress in lear'uig is f ir more rapid in the ureat majority of children when they are left without any systematic attempt to teach them until the seventh year at least has I cen reached. This rapidity will more than coimtei h ihtuce any apparent tardiness jii beginning, and there is much less chance of evil consequences. Chi cago Herald. Ruin find Tear. I wait the coming "f tardy train, And while I wait the leavrs of thought unfold. The day is dismal ami the wind is cold ; The ceaseless pattrr of the drizzling rain, That drips and drops its dreary, sd re fruiu, Still chants the burden of a Rrief untold, And in the sky gray clouds of gloom are rolled Till they dissolve in tenrs to earth again. So in my la-art, where summer used to be, A wintry sy the sombre landscape blears. lias nature, then, imposed ber mood on me. And am I sad because she sad appears? Or. looking through my own grief, do I see The earth transfigured through th rln of tears? Win. I!. S!m. in New York World. II I'MOROI'S. A good emu for lovesick women Manicure. A cornfield is one of the tilings that is often greatly shocked without tho aid of electricity. The principal difference between a lobster and a lobbyist is that you can make a lobster blu-h. Women suffer tho afflictions of tho servant question simply because llicy won't help tliemsolvc. Teacher What is the leading char acteristic of a paradox ? Dick Hicks They never agree on tlio diagnosis. "It's a biting wind," said Slithers. Yes," replied Slathers, "I know it is. I was right in tho teeth of the gale." Husband Thank heaven I am not as other men. Wife You are mis taken there. It is they who should bo thankful. The inlvocalo of anarchistic princi ples seems to think ho has taken tho truth out of a nulshcll and pill it in a bombshell. "Wiggle How long did you know your wife before you married her, Satnpun? Satnpon (mournfully ) I didn't know Iter at all until 1 married her. Lady How nice it is to hnvc a lit tle brother as you have, Flossie. I suppose he al way s takes your part, d.ii'sn't he? Flossie. Ycs'm, when the pie is passed. "Do yon think tl.nl monkeys can be taught to talk?'' ho usked. "I ne ver put the question that way," she replied. "I always wondered whether they could be taught not to." A poor fellow who had failed at one thing and another nt lust took up the profession of submarine diving. It wa perilous, he knew, but, as he expressed it, ho "had to do something to keep hij head above water." Counsel for the defense (to his wife) My dear, I want you to lock up everything that is movable in our house. Wife Why sd? Counsel The thief who was acquitted this morn ing without a stain upon his r.harno ler, on ing to my brilliant defense, is coming this afternoon to thank me. A Deluge Brought Down the Stones. A curious story romcs from Wcngh siaug. The town suffers from inuiu dations of the Yellow river, aud two yesrs ago a movement was started by (he local magistrate to build a break, wafer. Tho chiof difficulty lay in the want of sufficiently large stones. Suddenly, however, to tho astonish ment of the community, a heavy storm of wind nnd rain deluged tho country, aid brought down nn endless quantity of huge stones exactly suited to the purpose. Tho people naturally re garded tho incident us a direct mania feslation of divino power in aid of a grcnt public undertaking, and the governor of the district cites a fact which conclusively proves tho super natural orgiu of tho event. One of the stones, ho say, which was ns large as a house, was Inscribed with seal characters, two of which, meaning "work" an 1 "stone" respectively, be was able to decipher. Xew Orleans Picayune. The Virtues of Cold Water. Hulwer Lyiton, the father of Lord Lytton who has just passed away, was a profound believer in the efficacy of the wafer-cure for everybody, but in particular for overworked literary men. Whenever lie was tired out and felt the need of recuperation, he would go to a water-cure (stablishment for a few days drink wafer in unlimited quanilies and be sweated and soaked until ho had lost half a dozen pounds in weight. When he felt sufficiently reduced he would go back to business or pleasure, generally with a horrible cold, but under the conviction that be bad been greatly improved by the treatment. He even wrote a pam phlet or bonk on tho subject, in which be assumed the ground that water would cure anything if a man only took enough. Globe Democrat.
The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Feb. 4, 1892, edition 1
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