(riuttlutm lcautt. -Sljatljctm Rfcorb. II. V. LONDON, EDITOR AND momiETOR. HATES ADVERTISING TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, $1.50 W YEAR Strictly in Advanet. One square, one insertion One square, two insertions -One square, one month tl.Oi 1.50 . MO For larger advertisements liberal ccn racts will be made VOL. XVI. PITTS1K)R0 CHATHAM CO., N. C, FKMUJAKY 8, 1801. atettam NO. 21. A Henri's Sonir. A raindrop Ml from lli" leaden sky Ami a gray bird sang wIk-u the ilny wasnigh. Tin1 orysliil drop wn lost in the rain liy nn arrow'? thrust Urn liinl was sluiu. A ti'arilrop fi-ll from n heart's overflow. Ami a maiden's s"iig was sad and low : For tlin mm slio (liviii'i I h i trim mnl s'rong Proved false to singer, iiii'l to song. Ai.nr.iii' II.Minv in tod"y's. WAS IT A RUSE? 11 Y S. A. W KISS. Alien Wren whs n very pretty little woman a willow of thirty or there abouts with soft, appealing brown eyes mnl a dimple in encli cheek, mitl the more Mr. Powers looked at her across tho liouriling house table the bettor he liked her. He wan himself a widower of forty, and had been paying some attention to n maiilcii ladv with milium hair and sharp Mack eyes, who, lie considered, would lie n good manager for his household ; but from the moment when pretty Mrs. Wren healed herself opposite him at Mm Brook's table, imd said, in her sweet, low voire, "Tea, if you plrasc, with sugar and ereaiii," he felt nu intiiitiveeonvirtioii that this whs the woman whom a kind fate had especially designed for him. From his landlady he gained some information one'Tiiing: her; that she had been recommendr I to the hiiiiiuh t boarding-house by Mrs. Prook'sowu pastor, whose relative she was; that (he had lost her husb-.iiil nearly two years since1, and win very well oil' as regarded money; and finally that she resided with a sister in Mr. Bower' own city all of which was very satis factory to Mi1. Powers. Ho, forthwith, lie commenced nn assiduous courtship of the widow, and so favorably wire her attentions re ceived that one old bachelor Mr. Boggs -w Heeled a silver dollar with another old nentleinaii Mr. Wingo that the couple would be engaged be fore the end of the fecund week. As it happened, it was on the very evening of this wager that Mr. Powers and the fair widow were seated ill a little rustic summer-house on tin1 lawn as the sun set slowly beneath the dis tant mountain tops. She w.is looking at the evening star and he at her. "J think," she siid, pensively, "that that must be the star of my destiny, else I would not love it so." "And I believe yon are mine," he answered, tenderly, "else - may say it, Alice?" "Say what?" she answered, inno cently. "You know - that I love yon mi!" Her Ion": lashes drooped. "We have known each other for so short a lime," she murmured. "For a whole week, dearest, and in that tiino have become better ac quainted w fth each other thiiii would have been possible, in months of or dinary intercourse. Oh, Alice, say that you w ill be mine !" And when, an 1 r thereafter, the couple returned to the house, mid en tered the Mippcr-l'oom in the full lure of the gaslight, Mr. Wingo quietly slipped a silver dollar from his pocket, and with, a sigh, laid it upon Mr. Hoggs' knee, under cover of the table cloth. Of course Mr. Powers called upon his betrothed as sion as she returned to the city, and between them ar liiugeineiit.s were made fur a speedy marriage. Put in all this lime ho was pur posely nursing in his breast a guilty secret which the widow little sus pected. For not once had he hinted to her that in the homo to which he proposed to take her he hud three rough and unruly boys to whom she was expected to be a t.unler mother, "It will never do to let her know it before we are-engaged," Mr. Powers had at first said to himself. Ami when ho found himself en gaged, ho was still haunted by the doubt whether sho might not, forget ful of her plighted word, be tempted to "throw him over" when she found out about those terrible children. Put at last matters hud progressed So fur all but the date of tho mar riage being fixed that he felt that he could not longer, w ith propriety, withhold from her a matter which so nearly concerned her. "Alice, darling," ho said, ono eve ning, with a sickly smile, "I have a little surprise for you. I have been 6o absorbed in you that I forgot to tell you about my my three little boys at home." "Why did you not tell me before?" "Because ahem ! as I said, I was thinking of you only. Put surely, darling, you w ill not object to being a mother to my poor motherless little ones? You cannot care so little for me, Alice, as to make this a ground ,or refusing to become my wife? No, ho I yoiirn is too noble a nutur' for that!" Dear little thing-!" she said softly. "Of course you will bring them to sec me." Accordingly, when she lict entered the parlor to receive him, she beheld, seated in a row on a divan, three well grown boys, all of whom regarded her with looks of undisguised hos tility. "Alice, my dear," said Mr. Powers, advancing to meet her, "these are my motherless little ones w ho will, I trust, be a help and comfort to you. This is George, the eldest, twelve years old. Come here, George, and shako hands with this lady. She is to be your mother. " (t.'or.Jie favored his future stepmother w ith a liendis! leer, which caused her blood to run cold at the thought of all that it might portend. The second boy refused to shake hands, and the youngest, aged eight, muttered sullenly : "I ain't ngoiu' to call her mother." Mr. Powers sought to excuse his off spring, hut the look which he private ly cast upon thrln win indicative of future vengjiir.1..1. An 1 wh-.Mi (K'orgj knocked a vase off a t ilde, an 1 B'gie shrieked that Arthur was sticking pins in his bark, Mr. Powers thought it time to go. "Please wait awhile," tho Widow ' Wrru gently said; adding with an arch smile : "As you gave me 11 little surprise yesterday, I have one for you to-day." She 1 ft the room; and presently tlu le whs a sound in tho hull of light footsteps and a surpressed giggling and whispering. Then Mrs. Wren rr appeaied, clo.ely followed by the lit t Ic girls, t ho youngest of w hom she led by the hand. "You have brought your boys to see inr," sh.- siid smiling; "and now, pray allow me t introduce my own darlings - Helen, Ko.-a, Agnes, Lily and Mio ie. Helen is the rides!, ten ye us old, and dul ling little Mario not quite three. ltosa is like her father," here the widow looked pensively at the little one and sighed -"and Agnes and Marie are thought lo resemble me. lo you think so?" sho added sweetly. To depict in words the expression of blank surprise and dismay upon the fire of Mr. Powers would be impos sible. lie t-f u PI only stare and me chanically shake the hand of each lit tle girl as she was presented to lion. Then the widow led them to the corner where the three boys sit ; and five minutes Hereafter the two young e..f girls were crying, the next two in a high state of in l'gn itioii, an 1 tin1 eldest engaged in a struggle with Mas ter (J urge, who was trying to cut of her ringlets with his pocket-knife. "Oh," siid the widow, anxiously, "I am afraid I hope do you think," turning appeiilingly to Mr. Powers, "that they could ever get on together? My little pets are very good and ami able ; but, you Her, they are not ac customed to boys." Mr. Powers answered vaguely, that "he hoped so. " Put all the way home his mind was in a dazed and agitated state, us it dweltuponth.it group of right chil dren i:; the Widow Wren's parlor. Might children boys and girls and none of them aliovo twelve years of age ! He thought of the family board, with four seats on each side, and tie; constant squalibing of which it was to be the scene; of th- family pow.and of how people would smile as tho infan tile procession tiled into it. Good heavens ! it would never, never do! He hated to give up th widow and her fortune, but the sacrifice must bo made. And ho, before a work had passed, he had written to Mrs. Wren, express ing his fear that, under the unforeseen state of things, their marriage would not be as happy or as advisable as he had at first anticipated. And Mrs. Wren returned a cheerful reply, agreeing with his views, and re leasing him from his engagement. And thenceforth, for six months, they saw and heard no more of each other.though Mr. P iwers often thought of tho pretty and amiable widow and her comfortable fortune, and wished that those live children had never stood in his wav. It was on a pleasant day of the fol lowing spring that Mr. Powers, with his three boys, stood in the waiting room of a railroad depot, awaiting tho arrival of an up train. He was sending off the two eldest to a boarding-school. Suddenly he heard a voice w hich sent a thrill through him, and turning, met tho smiling eyes of the Widow Wren, looking prettier than ever, as she frankly held out her Land. "Quite a time since we last met!" f ho said, cheerfully. "Quite! mnl I need not ask ho you have been. You look as bloom ing as your own loses?-' he said gal lantly, glancing at tho bouquet which she carried. "You have your boys with you, I see. How they have grown!" "And your little pets how are they?" "Oh, blooming as lilies? There are two of them, Helen and Marie, with their mother." "Their motlioi !" echoed Mr. Pow ers, following the direction of her gin nee to where a lady, with two chil dren stood talking with a nice-looking gentleman. "Yes my sister. You knew they were brr children?" "Really, I you never told me so," he stammered. "Didn't I? Put of course you guessed it, as I was living with her." And she looked admiringly at hei bouquet. Mr. Powers felt half stunned. What a dreadful mistake this had been! What a dreadful blunder he had committed ! Put was it too late to undo it? Might it not bo possi ble And just here he caught the shriek of the approaching train. "Do you still reside with your sis ter?" he asked, hurriedly, but with nu earnestness which spoke in his eyes as well as his words. "Oh, dear, no at least 1 shall not in the future." She turned to the nice looking gentleman, who had ap ploaehed. "Let me introduce von to my husband, Mr. " Mr. Powers did not catrh tho name, and, in fart, hardly knew what he himself said or did, so da.rd and bi w il leivd was he. I!" hears some one say, "There is Mrs. Wri ii, who was married last night." And us he st 1 looking niter the re eding train, it was with a feeling 03 though he had been robbed, cheated, over-reached in some venture in which he had expected to draw a prize. "She certainly only called them her pets, her darlings," he reflected, in ho slowly welided his way homeward "What an idiot I was! Put I wonder whether il was innocently done on her part, or a trick, a ruse, to get rid of me and the boys?" And to this day Mr. Powers has not been able to satisfy himself on that point. Saturday Night. ( oi n null the ( lift" Purlins. In the houses of tho ancient elift dwellers, in southwest Colorado and northern New Mexico, stalks, husks, tus-i Is, cobs and kernels are found. That someof this material is as old as the buildings is proved by tho fact that the stalks were used in the construction of the floors, being im bedded in the adobe. The cobs wire also utilized to till up chinks in tho walls. They were about three feet ong. These Imbibitions have been deserted for at least 500 years. Fur ther south is the land of the living cliff dwellers, in the Sierra Mrtdre, between the Mexican states of Chihua hua and Sonora. There re ide on dill's on in caves, savages who worship the sun and plant a little maize on tie' steep hill sid without cultivation, though otherwise they do not till the soil at all. During the long winter that fol lowed the landing of the Puritans, in lti'Jt), they subsisted in large measure on corn purchased from the uborigi nese. In the next year nn Indian, named Squanto, taught them how to plant it and to fertilize the soil with fish. Thus they wore enabled to grow about twenty acres of it. The Indi ans had many ways of preparing maize, mixing with it beans, chestnuts and wortleberrries. They made a pottage of it by boiling it with fresh or dried meat and dried pumpkins, sometimes sweetening it with maple sugar. Thry also boiled pounded hickory nut ker mis with thi1 meal, and sometimes they made a bread composed of corn meal mixed with smoked oils and oysters or clams. Washington Star, ( lull of Wearers el Weeds. A Widowers' Association has been formed at Dresden. No man can join un less his wife is dead, and should he marry again ho becomes merely an honorary member. One of the prin cipal objects of the association is to help new members that is to say, new ly-mado widowers by looking after their wives' f-.iueriils nnd putting out his children, if ho has any, to nurse. Servants and governesses are, moreover, engaged through this novel agency. There is also a convivial ob ject in view, and the widowers meet to gether for mutual sympathy and en tertainment. l"p to the present time there are forly mrnibrrs. Tho most extensive history is that of Gibbon. It covers the events of th world for 1,201) years. (HILI)KEVS (01-1 MN. lieu. aw.w. Boll y.i;r ball f snow. children. Hull your bull 'if snow ! Tin1 more you roll your sir w l-all up, The bigger it will grow. lioll a kinit thought roini'l. children, iioll it id' iimiiifl! Cntil it gathers all kiri'l thoughts Thai gentle lieiiris have found. St. Nh hi.las. A imn u;'s rim niMi. A Russian doctor has b ru experi menting to li ml how far some of our domestic animals ran count. The in telligenrr of the horse, as t his is show u in mathematics, seems to surpass that of the cut or the dog. The instances given by him are interesting, but be fore they are accepted as authentic, they should b 1 vi rifted by th" obser vations of u ituralists whose skill and earu are unquestioned. He found a hois" which was able to count the mile pn.its along the way. It had been trains 1 by its master to stop for feeil w h"liev: r they had cov ered twenty-live vn.-K One d.iy they tried the horse over a load where three t ibe mil -posts had been put III bet v. e'M tile 1 ':il ones, and sure enough, th 1 horse, il se nvrd by this trick, stopped for his oats at the end of twonl-hu vi-r-ts instead of going the usual twenty-live. Th" same hois,1 was necust une'l to being ted every diy at the ttroke of noon. Th- doctor obseiAeil that whenever tie- clock struck, the horse would stop and prick up his curs as if counting. Jf he is -ird twi he -mkes he Would tint oil c intent -illy to hi: fed, but ii' their were fewer than twelve ho w e.ild resignedly go i-u working. The experiment was made of stak ing tweho stroke-at I h1 w I on", t one, whereupon the hor-e stinted tor his oats, in spite of the fact tlud he had been fed only an h inr before. Ww York News. ktkanoi: ei.Ai i-.H wukiii: !ouv; u;i: KIT NO. Nooiie ever t'p-s of hearing by what wonderful i.kill and research some of the most famous musical in trunieiits have been found. The ex perience of a violin di a'er, w ho is also a skillful workman, serve to illie-trnte the method pursued in the purchase of decrepit violins. Oner a year or so, says a correspondent of the Saturday Review, the dealer takes a tour. When he comes to a town lie en t1 rs n lnrber shop or grocery store, mid inquires who nre the people who own violins. A li'imbrr of names are given to him, nnd he piirsui s his invest ligations w ith varying success. Not long ago a barber in Ohio told him that a certain fame r used to have n violin, but Id thought it had been broken w ith constant usage and throw n aside. The dealer visited the fanner, and after some parley induced him to produce the fragments of a violin which "mother" had saw d. A glance at these told the dealer he hud found a treasure. He wet one "f the pieces in order to examine the varnish, and it shone w ith a beautiful reddish yel low hue that delighted his heart. Tho head-piece was the genuine article. The in st r miii'iit , when put together, would be of the most gi a -eful typo and of the best kind of w orkmanship. The farmer gladly parted with it in exchange for a new violin and ,i!H,uud it passed into the dealer's hands. Now he has the instrument hung up in his shop, and apparently it is without n flaw. The color is beautiful, like that one so-.'s in some old portrait ; its form is extremely pleasing, and the price of it is S20it. A violoncello ow ned by a prominent musician was picked up in this man ner for a mere song. The dealer learned that a retired sea captain had an old 'cello. 11" made an investiga tion and found that the instrument was covered with n coat of hideous old yellow paint. The dealer looked over the debris carefully, for the in strument was broken a great deal, and soon learned that the wood of which it was constructed was oxer two hundred years old. After a time ho succeeded in purchasing it. Then lie took it to pieces and removed the paint and old glue. The workmanship w as of a char acter that delighted the enthusiastic workman. It was made of Italian spruce, the kind of wood used in all Cremona instruments by Strndivai ins. This wood enuuot now be obtained. It was made in KH5. The musiciau who now owns the instrument cheer fully paid $7011 for it. I Harpy's Young People. Soni he. "Fitzgoobor was roiisidrrably put out the other night when he went to call on his girl." "How? "Sy her futhel'." - Atlanta Coutii-tutiou. AX 0CHAX CAPTAIN. The Qualifications Necessary for a Steamship's Master. It's a Hard Climb to Iioacli This Snug Berth. Few people have any idea of what is required of a r ipt iiu in command of one of an ocean steamship com pany's vessels an I of th iliflieulticN nnd hardships to by experieiic al and surmounted before ho is intrusted with thi1 first command of one of the big coastwise liners. Of course tlun must be vessels and steamships, and there must of course be somebody who can bo put in coiuni nid of them and for the time have control of their movements within certain limits. But these capt'iius arc trusted in the do main of thrir commands, on that deep which rarely gives up its dead, with vast amounts of life and property, and while in thos" days of rapid pro gross ships are being built to weather almost any gale and to live in almost any sea, and when tho practice of navi gation is reaching almost to perfec tion, it isouly long years of practical experience, coupled w ith sound w is dom and a talent for navigation that constitute the I rosary quajitiiei- tions of the master of a large aed well equipped steamship. "What experience did you have to have before you obtained your com mand?" was asked of one of (he. c.ip tnins the other day. "Well," he replied, "one doesn't get to be a captain in a d-iy loo a year ortwo, for that matter. Seita ring life is a hard road to t ravel, and a hard lad der to climb. J was for eight years before t lie mast before J obbioo -1 a position oil on. of these .hip. I'io the greater pai t of that time I (died between the rigy-iny; and the decks nf a schooner that ran between Pin and this country. I tellyoil it whs a hard life, too. A common sailor is more of an intelligent machine than anything else. He must always be II red ami ready to set his iron machinery in motion at a wmd from his superior. Heady to ob"v any call, he must be able to stand any hard -hips of (lie sea, and i po-r himself to all kinds of ivas and weather, ami that, too, for a mere pittam fa living, which hardly seems to warrant the sacrifices made. You don't go right from the mast to tho captain's berth, either. It's a gradual promo tion when there is any promotion at all, to the position next above, ami the promotions are often two and three years apart. I was second and first ollicer between three and four years before 1 was given a command. Put a man who has worked hard for the promotion appreciates it and exerts his best efforts to give good s-'rvice, for a captain never cm be too certain of retaining his oflice. " Probably all captains on such ves sels had similar experiences. Thry all no doubt had to toil before the mast, where merit is not recognized quite as quickly as experience and duration of service. But merit will tell in time, nnd, in connection with experience, lays the foundation for promotions in regular line until the he id command is reached. The captain's work is by no means an easy one. A tremendous responsibility rests ou him, and there nre times when, besides his mental work in governing, tho fchip, his physi cal strain is greater than that of any of the men under his command. Sa vanuali (in.) News. No Wonder the Sen is Sail. Imagine 4,. V;) quintals, or ."iiil.ium pounds, or ;J.VJ tons, or lb! cords of cod and pollock, all neatly piled up in one building, and you w ill have be fore you the largest stock of lisii in the city of Portland at the present time. It has all b-eii brought from Nova Scotia mi l Newfoundland since the 10th of October. There is pile of fourteen tons of specially sel ected codfish. They were big fellows when taken from the water, and weighed then from forty to eighty pounds each. Now they weigh from twenty-live to thirtv-live pounds apiece. When they had been stripped of the skin, carefully boned, trimmed into slices of faultless Mesh like so much clean, clenr bread or cheese, and parked ill boxes maiked "boiieh ss lish," they will weigh but from twelve to fifteen pounds apiece. Such is the shrinkage of an eighty pound endli.-h into the perfect food product. Ill the trimming process about twenty pound-, of "scraps" are removed to every P'M pounds ot the boneless slices. This is, of course, good food tissue, though it looks decidedly like "leavings." It is i old for about eight cents a pound. Country tish peddlers buy it sometimes in Jtli) and 150-pouud lots, and sell it to farmers and villagers to make into hash for about ten cents a pound. The skins are packed in barrels mnl sent away to Gloucester, Mass., where they are made into glue. They bring about a cent and a half a pound. The bom s sell for or $'i a ton, and are hauled over to Cnpe I'.lizabeth to be utilized as a fertilizer for cabbages. Lew iston, (Me.,) .foiirmd. A Mine of Ice. An "ice mine" is reported from New York Gulch, Meagher County, Mon tana, in early thi vs the gulch turned out -,,."ll,IMM worth of gold, but of late years it has been nearly deserted. Last summer two piosportors uncov ered the mouth of an old shaft and glanced down it. They saw the ice, w hieh rearheil up to w ithin four feet ami eight inches of tin surface. Thev considered it curious, nnd thought what a good place it would be to keep their meat, butter Slid other food from spoiling, while they were working in the neighborhood. They lowered their provender into the ice mine with the best results. Natuialiy they told of their find to other miners, with the result that for ii radius of liner or four miles around tin millers came to the ice shalt, low ered the beef and other provisions into the mine, putting their tag on it, and hoisting the rope from time to time as provisions were needed. If is a godsend to the miners, as it rn nbh s f hem to keep lilt at flesh ill the hottest weather. The miners are un able to gie any solution to this strange phenomenon. Tin1 format ion of the gulch is shale, reddish in color and full of fissures. It is supposed that gusts of air from cold caves innv have underground connections with the shall, and rapid evaporation near the i toi may explain tl iitinnid forma- ! tion of ice there ns it i. cut away- - I Northwest Magazine. IHsjlineiiriiiHT of (oinic iii Ainrrira. I It is really appalling to compare the i eiioi in. nis amount of gameoii thiscon tiie nl at tin- beginning of th" century with the wretched remnant of to-day. At that time tin1 American buffalo roaun d the prairies in countless thou sands, ami was jiiobably the most nu merous large auioial in tin worM, nnd now but all Americans kimw the shameful story of its exb i iuimitioii. Little mole than a hundred years ago gnat herds of elk swarmed in the Kentucky and Illinois hunting grounds, and even as late as 1H.V) n few could be found in the district n nth of the Ohio Piver. Today their fast-diminishing bands are confined to the m iniitains of the Northwest. The hi sad story of fast approaching ex- tiii 'tioii is true of tlie other game ani mals, th" antelope, bighorn, mountain go it, and the various kinds of deer; in fact, it is true of all our larger mammals. Many persons lhiug to day will see tin ir ti mil disappearance in a wild statr. (Century. The Western Wolf is a (award. Colonel dim Struthers of Montana was in the lobby of the Shorehani last j night, and talking of .wolves and ante lope, he said: "No. sir; the wolf isn't such a desperate creature ns fiction and the imagination of sometime sports have made him. The prnrie wolf will sin ali around camp at night and steal scraps, but as to attacking anybody he isn't as hydrophobiaenl as the civilized cur. The timber wolf hasn't the most courteous disposition ill the vest, but he is cowardly, and a gootl gun can stand off a whole menagerie of them. They come out of the hill timber at night and go for a calf or a heifer, but thev don't like mini, ami will only touch him as a last re-ort. Out in the west we roll our seUes up m a blanket right on tho prairie and sh ep t lie so i p of the right eous, and no Little lb d Puling Hood business bit aks ..in i. st. .- Washing ton Star. 'I hr Man iii nn ami S. Those p. oplc have only twelve sounds in their language. live of which are consonants. A Kanaka can swim five uiih s easier than he can give the sound of 's' or '.' I cannot recall inn, rell those considering them selves quit e pi olieii lit ill I'.uglish.w ho call make even a list at the sound of 's.' Asa matter of practice. tiiejllawaiiun is sosimple a language it bt comes largely the common language of all foreigners .Chinese iiml all. Lnglish as she is spoke there, is badly l ing-streaked and speckled with Hawaiian. Puf fa lo F.xpn ss. I iuilllsli Love. He - "If you loed me you wonM neirry me while I urn poor." She - "You do me injustice. 1 love von too much to have your precious health risked by my cooking. Wait ii i it i 1 yon can afford to keep servant." .-I Life. When We shall Veet. Einls in tUe blossoms shall sing to th" kies V iieii we -hall meet ; IVf.f'1 shall climb to you lips an. I join eyes Waves of gla l rivrs in nieloiliis ri-; pence after i initiir. ami smics nfirr signs, When we siai in,.,. ' Earth shall be beautiful, life slmll be '.lest Win n we shall meet ; Over the ilesiilate thorns in the breast There shall be raiiiimt roses of rest lirik'ht from (foil's gar."iis -but (io.l know eth best When we shall n t ! 1 hank L. Si anion, in At In nl a ('uisiitiitl'.u. Ill MOltOI S. And it came to pass Tho counter feit bill. A "It is when in trouble that he knows the valueofa wife.', P. "Yes; he can nit all his property in her name." "Ah, there's no happiness like do mestic happiness ! " "I know there isn't ; that'stheiriiKon I'm never going to many." Bagley l.re yo ii square with tho landlord yet?" Praee- "Pretty nearly, I guess; 1 haven't paid her a rent in two months. " "Hohbic," sain the visitor kindly, "have you nny littb- brothers and sis- t.fs?" "No," replied wee Hobble, solemnly, "I'm nil the children we've got." "Och, Patsy ilallint, are yez drowned?" iiskc-1 Mrs. Patsv, as her husband came home dripping. "No, in.'adr, but 1 wint down twice before I iver t an p," said Patsy. "Mamma," said Willie, looking up from the letter upon which he had been industriously at work for some time. "How do you niake an X? I want to write the word uirrinato." Lady to African trav. bn- "Is i tui" that in Africa wom- ii possess cer tain privileges?'' Traveler "Quite Cue. For instance, alter a battle tic victors always rat the women first." Lightning recently struck a tele graph pole un. I inn idmig Ihe wins t nn office nt I'rest.iti, when the oj -rrntor seiif.sl at the instrument ex citedly tcle-Taplcd : "Doll't send i n fast !" "Why is if that tic custom ..f turn ing 1 1 the frowsers is so universally popular among our dudes?" "Well, vou see, it is the only method of imi tating the Lnglish that doesn't cost nn thing." He courted a girl by tfl".h..ie. If-cHll-d li"r ' hi darling.' In- .t," "hi own" ; And the girls at th no-,-,1 ha I M- ..( lurk Watching lli phv "f "l. ciri. ..parks. Watts "I'm ' inclined to believe that tinancinl depies-iun would he i good subject for the faith cure.'' Potts-- "Faith cur. Watts "Yes. Laying on of hands, you know. There nre too ninny of them being laid oft just now." Mrs. Spryte "Yon needn't lime told me you Aei'e a bacheloi," Mr. Singule "How did you know it?" Mrs. Spryte- "You stick your legs out under the dinner table. Not used to having Yin kicked to remind you nut to talk." .I.'liiiliy -"Pa, this book says that some of thise 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 i 1 1 s have In i n resting in theirs, pulchres for unknow n ages. Pa, what are unknown agi sV ' Pa "Ask your mother, or Aunt Mai in, or one of your sister-, ask any woinnn. 1 can't tlmoi any light on the subject. " First Tramp "These Fifth Avenue people are very n ureas, him Ide with ns." Second Tramp "Yes; ueet give money, ami lecture you for being dirty." First Tramp -- "Ami yet, when I rang and asked for a bath only, I was refused. " Ivililin seiitim-nlally ! "Oh no; have no desire for great wealth. I should be very happy as the wife of n noble breadw inner. " (i. oige ipracti cully) -"And 1 should be happy, very happy, ns the husband of a good bread milker." She concluded to learn. A melancholy author went to Duinns nnd moaned that if he did not raise 'MM francs he was afraid he would have to charcoal smoke liintst If and his two children. Dumas rummaged his cof fers at once, but could only liml 20Q francs. "Put 1 must have three or 1 nnd my little loves are lost." "Sup pose you only suffocate yourself and one of thrln. thru," said Dumas. A Freiirhman was teaching in a largo school, where he had a reputa tion among the pupils for making some queer mistakes. One tiny li was teaching a class which was rather disorderly. Whnt with the heat nnd the troublesome boys he whs very snappish. Having punished several boys, nnd sent one to the bottom ot tho form, he at last should out in passion: "Ze whole class go to it bottom!"