Newspapers / The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, … / July 12, 1894, edition 1 / Page 1
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Itutltam ItccovtL II. -A.. JU01N130IV, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. RATES ADVERTISING TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, One square, one insertion One square, two insertions -One square, one month . tl.M 1.0 . ti.60 $1.50 PER YEAR Strictly in Advance. For larger advertisements liberal coo racts will be made. VOL. XVI. PITTSBURG', CHATHAM CO., N. C, JULY 12, 189-1. NO. 46. l)atl)cm ftecoro. When ("lover Blooms. When clovt'r blooms In tlio meadows, And the happy south winds blow, When underlie' li'ufy shadows Tho s i J i K i 1 1 K waters Mow, Tlit'U como to Nic ; lis yon pass I shall hour your foot in the gross, Anil my heart shall wako up mid loop From itH o ml, dak couch of sleep, A nil shall thrill again, its of old Kro its long ret under the mould. Wheu clover blooms. Doom not tint I shall not waken ; I flliH.ll know, my love, it is yon ; I shall fool tho tall grass tdiakou, I shrill luvir the drops of dew Tlinl scatter before your foot ; I shall girt 'll the. perfume sweet Of tho rod roio thnt you wear, As of old In yo'ir sunny lirilr ; l) WMti not th.it I shall not kuow It is your lilit foot thri'. g. '.Mid el.iv -r bloss r.at. 0 lorn, thn years 'nvo rn-tel, Tho Ions, Ion,,' ji .ir-. : our ways; You havo with t!o ni rry hearted Thoso in my mill rainy day And I 1,1'h tint gi illl g'lont Who l"v "h t:io j iloiil best. Hut come t in , i hkll wait l'or your omnium, soon or late, I'or, soon or la'.o, I know Yon shall come to my rest below The olovor blossoms. Ja.mks JIknjajiin Kknvon. TEE ONLOOKER. Hiss Pan vers, fat, forty and fenslblo, Cnptaln JIoArthur, llve-and-twenty and pes simistic. Boone : A conservatory off a ballroom. Miss D.mvrrs Yes, this is our waltz. I don't dance, fortunately for you. I don't look as if 1 did, do 1? Xo, I don't mind Hitting hero ut nil if you can promise mo there nro no earwigs. And now, my dour George, you will oblige im' very iniioh liy tolling 1110 why in tho world you are looking so preteru iturally solemn tut I pessi mistic? Captain MeArthur I havo some thing to toll you, Miss Danvers. I think I would rather you did not look upon it us n joke if you can Loin it. It is very important to m". Miss Dauvers My dear young man, I am ns grave as a judge, I nssuro yo;i. I fool iinui 'ttsoly sympathetic nu l beg you will relievo my curiosity ut once. What is the matter with yon? Captain M -Arthur Thero won't lu anything tho unit tor with mo if you can give mi a favorable answer to my question. I I'limo hero thia evening on purpose to ask it. Will you bo my wife? Miss Danvers --My dear George, I couldn't think of anything so prepos terously ridiculous for a single second. I linvo lioi'ii perfectly well iiwaro for sonio time what you wore going to say to in. I may as well toll you that I have led up to it in a way which would bo called mimiiideuly if I wero not 4) years (-Id mil proportionately fat. You nro fivo-nnd-twoiity, I think. What a suitable couple wu should havo made. Of course, you know that the world would h;ivo followed you with tho comment that that delightful young Captain MeArthur had married that ugly old creature for her money. Captain MeArthur Do you do mo tho honor, too, Miss Danvers, to think that my motives are mercenary? Mitts Dan vers My good George, 1 am not unite a fool. Yet I may tell Ton that a good many persons have proposed lately to shnre my Consuls and my captivating Threo Per C nts. No, I don't think you nro mercenary, though I don't know exactly why you shouldn't bo. I think you havo offered mo marriage out of pique. Captain MeArthur You seem to know a great deal about mo and my motives. Miss Danvors I do. .1 havo reached that age, you know, when I am not interoding to other people, and other people are very interesting to mo. 1 havo bee. mio ono of tho lookers on who sen most of the game. You have proposed to mo hecanso you aro an gry with Mury Molloy, Cuptnin MeArthur What do you know about Mary Molloy? Miss Dauvers Almost as much as you d , my dear Gjorgo. Djn't look eo h ni rhty nud offended, because it isn't nt nil b, 'coming nud just a little bit ridiculous. You nro in love with Mary (who is a dear girl, by tho way and worth a dozen of your fashionable young woni-n), nud Mary is very much in lovo with you. Captain MoArthur It is really too good of you to take such nn interest in my oone.-rns. Miss D.uivers- lXm't bo angry, George. lo y&n know thnt ia a stout middle ngeilMrTanuer I am very fond of you? Do you know that thero is a specif reason why I em't bu.ir to boj peopltk lling away tho happiness of their whole lives in a lit of temper? I wanted you to propose to mo, in pique (ittj'givo my plain speaking) rntlier thin i any old woman, because I hive your liuppiuess n great deal too much at heart ' to . accept you. Go back 10 Mary Molloy, George. I don't know which of you has been Ju tho wrong, nud I don't much care. Make it up, anyhow. And you will live to bo grateful to nn: Captain MeArthur It seems to mo I have been making rather a fool of mys-'lf. I don't know why you should take no much trouble for such a surly brute us I havo been. I think I ought to apologize to you for proposing to you. But don't ask mo to make any r-sh promises about Mary Molloy? Miss Delivers Oj back to h?r, George. You will never repent it. Kit a little humhio pie. It will bo good for your vanity (all young men aro eoueoitod you know), nn Isavo you, perhaps, a life of disami iutmont. I speak out of my own ex:rionct. Per haps you havo guessed, tint. It has been rather a bitter ono. I spoiled my life thnt was twenty years ago, when my waist was ns thin ns Mary's own in n fit of ill tamper. I don't pretend that my Consuls and Three Per Cents are not some consolation. They are. But I should have been a happier woman if Dial not fallen into tho mistuko from whie'i I would savo you. Captain MeArthur I don't know any way of thanking you unless there is Mary alone! I think if you will excuse mo, Miss Danvors, I will go to hor. (He joins Mary Molloy in the ballroom.) Miss Dauvers (alone) WThnt nn obi idiot I shall look, to bp sure, if any one linds in i sitting in this drnughty nnd sentimental cjnservatory, mop ping my eves. A fat woman in tears is a dreadful sight while to Mary Molloy lin y would be almost becoin iu,'. I hope she may shed a few for her sins. They are m iking it up now, siijipo.se. Prom this point, of view they look entirely happy and idiotic aire idy, I suppose 1 must prepare eoiiffratuliitionsaiul surprise. London liluck aud White. How to I'less rinnls. The Horticultural Rule Rook givrs tho following directions for proasing plants : Collect samples of all parts of tho plant, lower and upper, leave t, atoms, flower, fruit, and, in most esses, roots, In small species, thoso two feet high or less, the whole plant should bo taken. Of larger plants, take portions about a foot long. Press the plants between paper or "driers." These driers may lie of any thick; porous paper, ns blotting paper, or for plants whion nro not very juicy, newspapers in soveral thicknesses may be used. It is best to place tho spec imens in sheets of thin paper grocers' tea paper is good and place these sheets between tho dryers. Many specimens can bo placed in a pile. On top of the pile place a short board nud n weight of tweuty or thirty pounds. Change tho driers every day. The plants nro dry when they be come brittle, nud wheu, no moisfuro can be felt by the fingers. 'Some plants will dry in two or three days, while others rcquiro as many weeks. Specimens are nsually mounted on single sh 'tii)f whit? papjr of tho stiffness of very heavy writing paper or thin Bristol board. Tho standard size of sheets is eleven and ono-hnlf by sixtoejjmd one-half inches. The plants may be pasted down per manently and entirely to tho sheet, or they may bj held on by strips of gummed paper. A label should ac company each specimen. She Saw Lafayette. Mrs. J. Backus Ives, of Syracuse, X. Y., tolls tho Herald of that city how sho saw Lafayette. "Ha enme over tho Stato Road from Marcellns in a buggy," she says. "Everybody on tho hill rushed down to the hotel to see nud shake hands with him. Ho came early in the morning, and wheu ho reached the hotel thero went into tho dining-room, with a crowd follow ing lii in, and had breakfast. When he c imo out he shook hands with all present, excepting myself. I was too bashful. I know my father and mothor did. As I remember Lafayette, he was rather stout aud very good look ing. I remember seeing him bowing t) tho people ns ho rode past. It seems to me that somebody mot him with another carriage between this city null tho Hill, aud escorted him into tho city. If I am right, thoro wore only about three thousand people liv ing in Syracuse at tho time. They gave him a largo reception at tho Man sion Hottso here." Time to Leave. Cobble Miss Summit says you loft rather abruptly last irght. Stone I should say I did. I hnp penod to remark "Who can toll what a day may bring forth?" and she said 1 would kuow if I stayed much longer. Xew York World. Gas is but fifty-six cents per 1,000 cubic fevt in Lo ndon. Strnnze Freak of n Storm. A strango occurrence, illustrating tho force of storms, has been rejiort cil. Tho Peoria (111.) Transcript con tained tho following: "Last night during tho heavy storm two hogs, each weighing about seventy-two pounds, and a fat goose belonging to Sam Wainscott wero blown from his barnynrd and they havo not been heard from since." However tinlikoly or remarkable it may appear, these very piprs nud tho identical goose blown away from Peoria, 111., are now in excellent condition and living on tho farm of T. J. Hancock, west of this city. They wero dropped thero by the Htorm which picked them up from tho barnyard of Samuel Waiu' scott. They arrived in ati exhausted condition about two o'clock that night, having boon hurled through tho nir '200 miles nt lightning speed nlmost, and when tho storm's fury had been exp 'inled they alighted without injury nnd none tho worso for their strange adventure. It was two o'clock at night when Mr. Hancock, who was out in the lot attending to some stock, getting it out of tho storm, when the threo animals dropped down on tho ground from the roaring blackness ot tho clouds, surprising him beyond measure. He made inquiry of all his neighbors, but could not liud where they came from. Finally tho item in tho Transcript caught his noticr, nnd he wrote at once to Mr. Wainscott, asking for a description of tho missing stock. It enmo aud was the descrip tion of tho strango animals in his lot. So thoroughly is ho convinced that they are tho property of Mr. Wain scott that he has written that gentle man to come and get his stock. The distance from Peoria to where they were dropped is over 2'.)) miles, and the occurrence is little short of mira culous. Chicago Times. A Novel Mining Outfit, TTonry Spencer, a Colorado miner, is fitting out a small naphtha launch for a novel prospecting tour. He in tends to work tho bottom of tho Sa cramento River above Redding, nnd he is confident that his venture will prove successful. The launch is forty feet long nnd propelled with mi eight-horse-powor engine. In the bow of tho bout ho has placed a peculiar pump, which was constructed from his own design. The pump will be oper ated by tho engine, nud it is calcula ted to suck up tho mud from tho bot tom of the river and throw it on a sluice which runs the full length of tho boat above the cabin and extends far enough over the stern to throw all tho refuso back into tho river. The pump is powerful enough to suck up a good many cubic yard.) a day, just how many tho inventor could not say, but h" expected that by running at full speed it should be somewhere near a thousand. If the new mining apparatus saved half tho gold from half thnt amount of earth from tho bed of tho river near Redding it should bo a paying venture, say sev, oral miners who know tho country, and they aro watclrng Mr. Spencer's mining onterpris i very closjly. San Frnuchco F.xamiurr. Tallest or th i R .res. According to an investigation con ducted under the auspices of tho In ternational Society of Anthropolo gists of London, which has just con clude 1 a valuable inquiry respecting the average height of the various races nud nationalities, Knglish aud American citizens average taller than any other representatives of tho hu man family. Tho following has been gleaned from their 1-0-pago report : The English professional classes, who head the list as the tallest of adult males, attain the high average of livo feet nine and a quarter inches. Xext on the list come the males of all class es in tho United States, and a minute fraction behind ihem como the Eng lish of all classes. Hence wo may conclude that, taken as a whole, tho British and their English-speaking cousins in America nro approximately of tho same height. In other Euro pean countries the averngo for tho male adult is but five feet six inches; tho Austrinus, the Portuguese and the Spaniards fall somewhat below tho general European average as given ia tho foregoing. St. Louis Republic. If Lion Pulls an I Horse Pulls. If a lion aud a strong horso wero to pull in opposite directions, tho horse would pull tho lion backward with comparative ease ; but it tho lion wero hitched behind the horso and facing in tho same direction, and were allowed to exert Iuh strength iu back ing, ho could easily pull tho horso down upon his haunches or drag him' across tho ring, so much greater Is'his strength when t-xertod backward from the hind logs than in forward pulling. -Chamber's Journal. CHILDREN'S COLUMN, fbiedk. When skies are bluo And threaded through Vith skcius of sunlight spangle, And breezes blow Quite soft and low Amid tho trec-tO)) tangles. When summer has th world in thrall, And joy is sovereign over all, "l'is curious that a little bird Jjliould utter such n wistful word As "1'oormc! poor mo!" When days nro long, Aud limbs ure strong, And blithe with youth the season When everything Is tunnd to spring And rhyme, nnd not to reason When life is all n holiday With naught of oaro and inueli of piny, "l'is sinful that a little maid ahould sui'h complaining words have nald As "Poor me; poor me!" Ji-i.ik M. J.U'I'Mann iu St. Nieludas. OltAVHYAIlI) FOR DOCIS. London has a pet dog cemetery. In Ihis town when a very dear nnd be loved doggie dies ho must bo buried all alone by himself, because the rt-gu-lur cemeteries havo officials ainl lot owners who object to receiving other than human corpses within their i'ates. The London Dog's Cemetery is near the Victoria Gate iu Jlyde Park. In the rear of the gatekeeper's lodge is a plot of ground which looks like a tiny garden. In the midst o' the (lowers, however, aro a number of small marble tombstones arranged iu rows, each bearing some tender in scription, with tiny gr.ivol piths be tween ami an arch of ivy to greet the the spectator, one counts about forty of these pretty tokens of remem brance. "Poor Little Prince" is the inscrip tion over tho grave of tho Duke of Cambridge's doad-nml-gonc pet. Oth ers among the dead have the names of Jack, Tip, Tojisy, Flo, Sprite, Vic, Darling and Zoo. Each grave has its well-trimmed bushes of evergreo!),nnd hero and there are ornaments in the shape of largo white thells. Very few people in London, npi.rt from those whose pots sloop their last iu this peaceful little spot, nro aware of its existence. Should it be dupli cated onthisside of the Atlantic, there is no doubt tho tiny burial plots would be readily sold. The Pi t Dog Society, for instance, would naturally be interested iu such nn institution, and many tender-hearted women and some animal-loving men would !e glad to bury their dead pets in just this sort of a plnee. Xew York Journal. AS8.UT.E1 BY Wild) HOCIS. In "Recollections of the Early Set tlement of tho Wabash Valley" the author relates an adventure with wild hogn which befell him in 1S;I5. As the render is aware, droves of hogs left to wander in the woods and forego for themselves sometimes become fierce nml dangerous. I was strolling along the hunk of the Wabash, says the writer, nt some distance from my lirotlioi'scaljin,whcu I suddenly heard a confused cracking of bushes, rattling of stoifs ami gnnnh ing of teeth, with a loud bou-boo-oh from tho ravino below. Instantly I realized the terrors of my situation ;it was one of tho droves of wild hogs of which my brother had spokcu wnrn ingly. 1 took to my heels and ran to the summit of the hill, making for a largo oak tree with tho intention of climb ing it. On my way I seized a btout maple limb. The trunk was so lofty that I was unable to climb the oak, but I stood with my back against it and fneed my assailiants, which were now upon me, squealing and grunting fiercely, a dozen of them. I shouted for help and wifliled my bludgeon with good effect. The hogs were eager to get at me. First one nnd then another would inlvnnee, snip ping its ugly jaws. A blow from my club would send it squealing to the rear. My brother Lad told mo that these hogs would make nothing of devouring a man, clothes and all. it they got a chance at him. For fifteen minutes I kopt them at bay with my club, but they were be coming bolder and fiercer. Ono hud torn a piece from my pantaloons, and I was fearful that I should Io unable to hold them off longer, w hen, to hit relief, I heard my brother's voice. He soon came up, gun iu band. He had heard my cries for help. The loud report of his gun frightennl the hogs, nud with many loud ooplin nud squeals they scampered dowu tho bill. But for this fortunate arrival I probably should not bo alive to tell this taie. Atlanta Constitution. . Thero is a plant in Jamaica called the life idnnt. because it is nlnm.st. in. l.osible to kill I FRACTIONAL N0THS. The Government Gained Millions By Their Issue. A Large Number Have Been Lost or Destroyed. The fractional cum ncy of tho United Stale's, says the Xew York Herald, was the most profitable form of money ever issued by the federal authorities. All of it that was lost or destroyed, aud this is estimated iu round figures ut $H0,(M(),00(1, but is probably more, is figured as a clear gain to the government. Tho total amount of the currency emitted, including reissues, was .lOX, 720,0711.51. Tim total amount re deemed aggregates $:i.:t,l 17,'.:lli. 2D. This would apparently leave outstand ing Sl.1,272, ll't.01, but in the lust an nual debt statement the outstanding nmouiit is sot down as .?ii,!l:)i),."i01.(i2. Tliis amount is merely nn estimate of tho authorities, but clearly illustrates the fact that S,271,!).'1K.:W has been marked off to proit and loss. The government still stmds ready to redeem its fractional currency and has in, intention of repudiating any of it, although Congress has authorized th- marking off of 8,0.10,000. Very little of it is now turned into the Sub Treasuries, in cons 'inienoe of the I rarity of certain issues and tho fact that largo quantities remain iu the hands of collectors, w ho would not part with their specimens for ten times the face value. Thero was redeemed last year ex actly J,!loS worth of this profitable currency, and so accurately are I he ac counts of the Treasury department kept that the cxiet amount of each il'iiominatiou destroyed ciu bo ascer tained. They wore as follows: Three cents, U. 11); five cents, S.'H. (;! ; ten cuts, 'i(W.0"i ; fifteen cents, J.IO.ll; twenty-five cents, .?l,0'.)."i. 12, and fifty cents, 1 8 1,1 "S. 50. Fragm :nts of bills are, of course, redeemed in propor tion, which accounts for the apparent impossibility of redeeming total amounts that are not multiple of the face value of the notes. Fractional currency was a feature of our money from August I, 1S02, when the first issue was authorized, until February 1.1, lMl!, when the last or fifth issue ceased. The emission of it therefore covered a period of fourteen years, and it is eighteen years since the last notes were issued. Considering tho length of time since the government discontinued the issue of fractional curreiey the amount out standing is enormous, greater by far than any other form of the public debt, or for that matter all forms of the publio debt unredeemed from the foundation of the republic down to lHlii, when the legal tender notes were authorized. It is not likely now tint more than $50,001) of fractional cur rency will ever be presented for re demption, so that tho total profit to ttm government will in the end amount to fully SI 5,000, OOJ from its issue. A curious fact about tho presenta tion of fractional notes for redemp tion is tho large proportion that spu rious bills bear to tho total. Last year when but 2,054 worth was re deemed, counterfeit fractional bills to the amount of S22S wero turned into the treasury and destroyed. Tho pro portion is very nearly eight per cent, which illustrates two things first, how extensively tho fractional currency was imitated, and secondly, tho ten acity with which persons, who hud been taken in by the bad money.cling to tho hope of eventually obtaining its value. Xew York Herald. II a ml Organ Mnukeys, "Mobt of tho monkeys that travel with shows nnd organ grinders come from the Isthmus of l'anama," said Thomas L. Fames of Louisville, as ho strolled about the corridor of the Southern last night. "These animals aro captured by the natives iu rather a curious way. They take a coconuut and cut a hole in it large enough to admit a monkey's paw. A string is then attached to the nut. The monkey is a very inquisitivo little nuimnl, and when he sees one of thco nuts he in serts his paw through the hole to liud out what is inside. When tho paw is closed it cannot be w ithdrawn, and ns tho monkey hns not sense enough to open his paw, tho nut is dragged bv fho string and tho monkey with it to tho captors, who throw a net over the monkey, and in that way aecuro him." St. Louis ( i lobe-Democrat. Never Heard of It. Boreton Just take this along, will you, old man, aud look it over at your leisure? Busy Editor Leisure? What's that? Somerville Journal. The InlliteiKc of 'J iillei. "Yes," said tt well-known pulpit orator, "trilles change the course of a mini's life, and there's no tolling what may guide a man to his choice of a profession or calling. 1 feel highly amused to think that a velvet suit with shining brass buttons decided my life. My dear mother had, w ith loving care, in rayed me in a suit of the then styl ifh black velvet for six-year-old boys, and in this I proceeded with her to be introduced to school life. "1 was given a sent in a room in n school on Twelfth street, but hadn't been there but a few minutes wheu the other little fellows began to poke fun at my velvet with the brass adorn nionts. It was too much for my boy ishuess, and with quick juvenile tears I went out of that schoolroom never to le-eliter. Although the teacher came to my house and sought to per suade mo, I would not go back. 1 was taken to another school on the same thoroughfare, and tin-re in after years met 111" boy who led me to study for the ministry. So I ascribe my choice to a tiny velvet suit, nnd I'd like to see it now." I'hiladelphia Call. liaising Useful Insects. "Here is an interesting colony of insects," said an entomologist who was showing a Star writ -r over his country place in the suburbs of Washington. "You see," he exclaimed, "a little hunch of eggs have been deposited on this stone wall. Xenrly all of them are hutched already. The young in sects that nro newly out lire yellow, while those a little older nr.; red and bl-ick. Yes, they do look somewhat like small spiders, hut they are not such. "They nro wheel hugs. They grow to he largo predatory insect ns big its l he end of your thumbs. Caterpillars and various other garden posts are their chosen food. So, you observe, 1 one Mirage thi colony. Any one of my neighbors would promptly destroy it, but 1 know better. People lil'oliud here wonder how my trees and plants are always in such perfect condition. Hero you have one of the reasons. The wheel bug is so-called because of a m irk mi the thorax w hich looks like a wheel." Washington Star. Mi stilled R 'd Mm. Soon after the Xorthern Pacific Rail road had been completed west ol Bis marck, some Indians climbe I on a train nnd were given the privilege of a free ride. They were of the Gros Ventre tribe, and in a seat in front of them sat a woman w ith false teeth. Iu their presence sho took her teeth out and afterwards replaced them. Tho noble reds were astounded at this per formance. They chipped their months iu lo.id hi hi-hi's, ran to the hrake Muni and asked him j -In i lily if ho could take his teeth out. They appeared to think that this particular feminine pale face had some supernatural gift and offered their guns, clothing nnd all their worldly possessions for her teeth. Then they w allied up to the woman nnd attempted to peer into her mouth ; but the old lady was equal to the occasion, for she scolded and abused them sojoiiudly that, afraid of bail medicine, and iu great !ilurni,thy insisted on leaving the train at the wry first station they came to. Bil lings (.Mon.) Letter. Yellow a Ciiriodly Among Colors. It is a curious fact that the color of yellow, whether it bo vegetable or nn imal, is much more permanent than any ether hue. The yellow of a (lower's petals is the only color known to botanists that is not faded or en tirely discharged upon being exposed to the fumes of sulphuric aci.l. Take the viola tricolor (heartsease) ns nn illustration. If exposed but a mo ment to these fumes the purple tint immediately takes its (light, nnd in the wall-llower tho yellow shines ns brightly us ever after all other colors have lied. A Honeymoon Kp'sole, 'These biscuits are not l.ke moth er s, he sanl, as luey sat nunc DrenK- fnst table. Her lip quivered and, sho was on the point of bursting into tears. "Xo," he continued, "they are not like mother's; they are a great deal better." Then sho rose nnd fell upon his neck and hugged him, Xew York I're.ss. Elilnt Thomson, who is looked upon in Sew England ns Edison's rival, in vented nn electrical machine when ho was a boy of thirteen. The same year ho entered tho Philadelphia high school, and on hid gradiinlion, four years later, ho wan given charge of tho high school laboratory and made an assistant professor. Professor Thom son is still a comparatively young man, of agreeable manners aud cn- guicjj modesty. Your Voice. I thought I heard the chiming Of a woud'rous melody. That ncgels, filled with gladuess, In the gloaming sa.-ig to me ; Jly soul drank in tho hwn-tnos.i, And in eestaey the pain Of ester' was forgotten Hopes dear blij.-sonis lived again. The strains came gently drifting Through the star-lit air that night, The love-kissed ivhisp'ring Hashing O'er my heart a joyful light ; I paused in rapture -dlst'liing To the lesson sweet It taught, And I thanked (1 d for the iniiRb) That you dear voice to me brought. It swept my soul w ith fragranee, And In eagorne,s I Dent To eateh the faintest tinkling, As the night winds eame uud wort. Th" thought earno and I shuddered Willi a strange and nameless fear Th" brow might drown the inusi') Alui J'd miss your voi'-e. my dear. KinvAiii) X. Wooii, iu At'imta Constitution, UUMOKOUS. Never judge a book by a criticism. Tho chicken is often pronounced tough when the knife in dull. The milk of human kindness is not very heavily enamelled with cream, It is a beautiful thing to sympnthizo with poor people ; but tho rich often Heed it most. "This rich relutivo of ours is he a distnnt relative?" "Yes, extremely bince ho became rich." Many a man who thinks himself ahead of the times is about as useless as a clock that runs too fast. Justice O'Hullornn Have you any children, Mrs. Kelly? Mrs. Kelly I hcv two livin' au' wau married. It is a severe strain on the nngelio qualities of woman when sho has to use her wings to diibt the furniture. Mother Now, Fritz, remember it is more blessed to give than to re ceive. Fritz Yes, ma, but I nin uot selfish. Squildig Do you have any difficulty meeting your bills? McSnilligcii--Xo, indeed ; my great difficulty is i4 avoiding them. Director Whn! do you ihink oftho new board of directors? Shareholder Half capable of nothing and the rest capable of anything. Hills Who is thai awkward looking clown over there au'iiiust the wall? Hull That's Griggs, the author of "The art of Entertaining." Would-be Settler - How islbo dentil rate nboiit here? Old Citizen--Will, it's pretty cheap jist now since tho town doctors got to cuttiu' prices. "Xo, Maude, you cannot sharpen all old saw with a newspaper file, but many n newspaper file is made dull by the old saws that nro found iu it." Frances Elsie is just daft about bric-a-brac isn't she? Allele Yes, in deed, 1 heard this morning that she was going to marry n baseball pitcher. Sympathizing Friend It mum givo one a queer feeling to have one's pocket picked. Victim You don't feel it at all. That's tin) misery of it. "She's ns pretty as a picture," i.aid the young man. "Yes," replied the young woman, with a glance at her rival's eoniplcvion, "hnnd-pninled, too. " "Look here, Staggers, I don't be lieve you can look an honest titan iu the face." "Well, I won't deny it un til I'm brought face to face with one." She Cease your flattery, sir, or I shall put my hninh. over my ear'i. Ho (wishing to jmy her a compliment ) Impossible! your hands are two smnll for that. Teacher Xow, rci.iembei', that in order to become a proficient vocalist you must have patience. Mint Flipkitm --Yes, and so must my su-xt ih.-or neighbors. Husband-- Do you think my full beard is an improv ement ? Wife-. How much docs it save mhi a week? "About a dollar." "Yes; it's nn im provement. ' Teacher An axiom is a self-evident truth. 'What goes up is sure to como kown. Is that an axiom? Boy-' Guess so -unless folks is talkin' about the price of coal. "Hasn't there been something of a coolness between you and Reginald?" asked tho inquisitive girl. "Well, there was last night ; we were eating ico cream together." Reuben If I were a doe; I'd rather bo a black ono than n white one. Mamma-Why. Reuben? Reuben -Because then I wouldn't havo to bo given a bath so often. Wife--You must send me away for my health at once. I am going into a ueeliue. Husband -My! My! What makes you think so? Wife- All my dreBtes aro bcgiua:'ig to fuel comfortable.
The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
July 12, 1894, edition 1
1
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