North Carolina Newspapers

hittltunt Qixovtl, II. -A.. J-OIVI30IV, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. RATES OF ADVERTISING TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, One square, one insertion One square, two insertions One square, one month 11.01 l.M 2.50 $1.50 PEB YEAR Strictly in Advance. VOL. XVII. PlTTSBORO', CHATHAM. CO., N. C, FEBRUARY 7, 180.'). NO. 2. For largor adrertisemcnta liberal con .-acts will be male. fatf)aa ttrcoro. o o When Hie Itlvor Howl. Thorn's a music thai dwell iu tliu I:art of t(i stream, And a mystery lireiilhs in its How Fori fln look hack and sometimes a Of tn castles I've built will Mil to nud fro And fa lo Where, lliu rlvi'r Hows. And I've dreamed us l'vn watched it go Mow ing atoim Tliat a beautiful fairyland lay Afar, in the mist nf I In- hills wlier" its song Is Ijnru, and I'v dreamed tliat .vino day I'll llnd Wli'To tlio river Mows. -Now I've traveled along liy tho river for years, Till I've come ! down to th" B"a, And l'vn found there is laughter born often from tears, Like lliu soiis tliu'. ris fi-ma Mm irii-t.i, tnnyb". 'I'luil Moat Where Hid river Hows. tut there ai tears, so.n tiiii-s,oretlii laugh, t.-r di-s: Tlmrn's a vv Till s'ri'i"of th-. head, For smite pn-s down where the waP r sighs, And all pa-s ioit Willi 111'' dead 'lo the sea Wli'TH tin- river flows. WlI.TF.ll M. II .KI.IISK III ll:i llullscwiflt A Righteous Retribution. I1Y IliXKN l'IIIICi:.iT liK.WKM. ''Miriam Green, 1 inn i r.'onishod !" aid Aunt .l.iiii'. "Oh, lull, Aunt Jane, 1 couldn't Iji'1 j it!" an id Miriam, laughing. lint, nt til ) sum tim , nho colored very roil, ami hung down her ri-tty head. Thero whs no denying this offeiiHe. It was patent to all the Woil 1 --or, at least, to all that par I of it who might liiiit-(l to bo on tin; edge of Raven Woods. There was Miriam Green up in tho lop of the old oak tree, which roared its proud en nI, mi Absalom itniiiti its 'old-leaved brethren, her curls nil tangled, her nprou filled with treasures of diirk-groou mistletoe. There was Aunt June, standing iu t ho little open dearing, with hands uplifted, eyes opened iu the widest of disapproving glares, ainl Miu-liounct fallen over backward on her shoulders. "Your fmek't all torn!" enunciated tho old liul v. "I can easily mend it again." "And your hair Mown into a tun-Rl'-." "Oh, Aunt .lane, that is nothing !" jiloaded Miriam. "And your houuet hanging Imlf way down the tree!" gasped Aunt Jane, grow it:g more indigi nut as the full weight ninl extent of Miriam's enormities daum-d upon her mind. "When you km w 1 forbade you to think of Mich a I In Ml; as climbing n tree 1" "Dear Aunt .lane " begun tho offender. lint the old lady would listen to no argument. "You wi io seventeen yesterday,'' said she. "You are, old enough to know better. And you shall be made to know better! 1 will punish you for lliis piece t'f inexcu sable hoyden ism !" Miriam's blue eyes grew big. Surely Aunt .lane couldn't hliake her, or shut her up iu the arret with a page of "Watts' llwiius" to learn, or worst alternative of all put her ou a short allowance of apple pie nt dinner. For pretty Miriam was Mill child enough to regard any of these occur rence h i a serious misfortune and one greatly lo lie il-preouted. But w hile sin- was yd iu tho agonies of apprehension, the question was dcliuitolv determined In Aunt Jane's advancing to lit - loot of the onk tree and pulling iiwny the ladder that had I nerved an a menus to reach the lirst j bough, a ragged mass of foliage some twenty feel up from the roots. Bdmv : that the trunk extended down as per pendicular and tree of side growth as a telegraph pole. "There !" said Aunt Jane. "Since you were no humous to eiiuib the tree after mistletoe, you may remain there and think it over at your leisure. I will eomo back this evening and put back the ladder. " Miriam uttered a little erv. "Please, Aunt J inc. don't go off!" ! she. appealed. "I'll never do so any j more, rieaso forgive ine, just this ' oiioel" I Hut Aunt Jane was inexorable. ! With slow majesty, she strode out of j tho opening, and was cone, even while j Miriam's piteous voice quivered on ' the air. i "Oh, dear oh, dear ! w hat am I to , do?" Raid Miriam to herself. 1 couldn't j jump down without breaking my arm, or ankle, or something; and hero I am all alono iu this wilderness!" There she sat, perched on a hori- ' rental boiii;li' clinging to the tper trunk of tho tree, and swayed to and j fro in the cutlu lueezes. 1. Lad bcoa j a most fascinating position a fow min uifn ago; now it was frightful and perilous in the cxtremcst degree. Was it an hour? was it ton hours? or possibly only fifteen minutes? Like the Prisoner of Chillon, the poor little captive lost all power of calcu lating time. Jiut just as tho round sun hung liko nball of orange-lbituo above tho west ern woods, there was tho sound of ipiick footsteps crashing over fallen twiga and crisp b lives below. "It's John Ford, coming homo from hunting!' Miriam siiid to herself, with a quick breath. "Oil, I do hopu ho won't h-o me !' Klin shrank close to tho trunk of the tree, and tried to seem as much liko a big bunch of mistletoe as pos sild . lint it was useless. John Ford's keen eyes were ton well used to wood craft and all pertaining to it to over look her. lie stopped short at tho eiilrunee to the glade. "Miriam Green!" lie exclaimed. "Yes," said the girl, laughing, a liitlo hysterically. Zaceheus he " "Mid climb a tree." "And I am Z.iecheus, and now J can't gel dow u. " "Oh!" said Mr. Ford. "The ladder fell, did it?" "Y-yes," hii il Miriam, turning wry red. "The ladder fell down." "i'li put it up for you," said Ford. "lo !'' s.iid Miriam, laughing to herself, as siio thought of Aunt Jane. He swing the ladder promptly n against tho trunk of the tree. "Sow it'n all right," said he. "I'll j'lst go over to see that Ihe dogs haven't frightened Mrs. Morey's young turkeys, and wait for you out side the woods. " In live minutes Miriam Green was by his side, rosy iiud breathless, still clinging to her aproufut of mistletoe "Oh, I am ho much obliged to you?" said she, earnestly. "It wiib rather an awkward predica ment, wasn't it?" mailed he. "What will Aunt Jano nay?" said Miriam, involuntarily. "She'll bo very much nlarmod, won't she?" "No," confessed Miriam. "She that is Oh, Mr. Ford, 1 can't de ceive you about il !" And she told him all. "Of course, it was very wrong to disobey her," she added. "My poor little Miriam! My sweet, frightened darling !" cried John Ford, passing his strong arm around her waist. "She was a perfect dragonoss to torment, you so !" "Hut J belong to her," said tho girl, innocently "I havo no other home but her house." "Then belong to me, henccfor ward," ho said, tenderly looking down into her blue, limpid eyes. "Surely, oii cannot have fulled to discover how deeply I love you! Hereafter you aro mine. " Miriam Green, young as she was, had often dreamed of tho pathway in which love should conio to her, but it h id never seemed like this. "Hut, " she stammered, "what will your uncle say?" "What should ho say?" calmly re torted her lover. "Ford Court is mine. My undo is only my beloved and honored guest. Ilesidcs, he loves mo ho genuinely that my happiness einnot but be his. And but what i-i this?" They had by this time reached the solid stone wall which divided the grounds of Ford Court from the woods!, and there, perched up on its height a feminine Stylitcs was Aunt Jane, with a basket iu her hand, hull' full of the burberries which she had gathered from the huge bushes that mado a scarlet-dotted screen in side, while stretched prouo on the grass at the foot of the wall lay old Major Ford's monster bloodhound, Gelert. He looked around and wag ged his tail slowly at the sight of John, but did not stir otherwise. "Aunt Jane," said Miriam, "what are you doing on top of the wall, there?". "I I only wanted a few barberries to put iu my encumber pickles," stam mered Aunt Jane, ready to burst into tears. "And and 1 didn't suppose there wuh any harm in gathering them here. I've picked peeks and peeks, of barberries off them very bushes, and imliody said a word. And i was just reaching up for the finest, when up comes a cross old savage and asks mo what I mean by stenling fruit, and leaves mo hero with this horrid, snarl ing brute to wntch me just as if I was a tramp while he goes for a con stable! I lievi-r was so treated iu my life! And, the more I try to jump off, tho more the dog shows his teeth at me, and growls. He'd tear ino in pieces if I stirred a foot iu any direction, I do believe!" "Mj 'Jncle Ford," whispered John j to Miriam. "Ho is a positive mono maniac on tho subject of fruit thieves! Tho park bristles with man -traps, and thero i'h a dog chained undor every npplo-treo on tho premises. But it's too bud that ho should havo taken your aunt for one of tho village pur Joiners! Gelert! conn) hero this in stant, Hir! I iiHsuro you, Miss Green" (to Aunt Jane, who between her ter ror and her fatigue was on tho verge of fainting), "my undo will bo tho most grieved of any one, when ho learns what a misapprehension he has been laboring under. Allow mo to help you down. Take euro don't spill the barberries !" "Dear Aunt Jane !" soothed Miriam, receiving tho old lady iu her arms, "how frightened you must hnvo been !" "Oh, Miriam, forgive me !" Hobbed the old lady, behind her sun-bonnet. "1 I didn't know how dreadful it was, or I never, never would havo pulled the ladder down and left you then.' ! It's a righteous retribution ou no-, t hat's w hat it is !" "Oh, utility, don't fret about it!" said Miriam, radiautlv. "It's all right now. Mr. Ford came along and put up tin.' ladder again, and and I'm engaged to be married to him! Don't look ho surprised, Aunt Jam.'! I know I've tidd it in a jerky sort of way, but it all happened at naturally as pos sible. Didn't it, John?" And then followed congratulations and explanations, and finally tho hiiuiblo apologies of Major Ford, a testy old gentleman of sixty odd years, who just then arrived on tho scene, accompanied by tho village constable. ' I'm suro I beg a thousand par dons !" sail Major Ford. Hut how was I to know? I'm a stranger in those parts, you know, and half tho fruit-trees wero stripped last night." And Aunt Jano received his ac knowledgment iu frigid silence. "A lady is a laly," she said to her niece, afterward, "even if sho has climbed on a stone-wall to gather bur berries! And no one but a somi-bnr-bariau could mistake her for anytniug else!" And Miriam Green was too happy in her own new-born felicity to arguo the question w ith her aunt. Saturday Night. The (Jray Wolves of Molilalia. Tho gray wolves are on the ram page in tho northern part of Gallatin County, Montana, Already they havo killed hundreds of calves, and in Homo instances have been known to attack steers and cows that became separated from tho herd. Tho gray wolf is the fiercest of his species, and many a man in the great, woods of tho Fast and North has been killed by them. A few days ago a farmer in tho northern part of tho county shut two large-sized colts in a corral while ho took his team to a field. When ho came back after tho colts a few hours later ho found that both had been killed by wolves. Another stockman, while riding over tho hills, camo across two largo steers that had been carrying on an unequal light with wolves. The steers were surrounded by a number of tho big gray crea tures and several coyotes, w hich had been running the cattlo about. Tho steers were badly bitten, and they were about exhausted with tho un equal struggle. At tho appearance of the stockman the wolves and coyotes slunk away. When the winter finally sets iu and it becomes a dillicult mat ter for them to get a calf or sheep, tho Htockiiien fear that these wolves will become desperate. They will then go in bands, and will undoubted ly attack almost anything that might furnish them a meal. Helena (Moil.) Herald. Kugiliie Chinamen. A Chinaman who has a good deal of influence in Mott, Dovers and Pell streets, recently explained tho indif ference of Chinamen iu New York to tho snd plight of their emperor. "Tho fact is," ho said, "that a great many of my countrymen iu New York aro fugitives. Tho oldest member of a family in China has tho power of life or death over its members. If you offend your grandfather iu China he may havo you beheaded, cast into prison or exiled. Tho exiles hero are men who have aunoyed tho respective heads of their families. Naturally they havo no sympathy with tho powers that bo in China." Now Orleans Picavunc. A Ptociit for His (irnndfatlipr. "I'm saving up to buy you a birth day present, grandpa," said Willio. "That's very nice of you, my boy," said the old gentleman. "How much have you got?" "Well," Willio replied, "if you'll give mo ten cents, I'll havo eleven al togetlur." Harper's Young People. (IIIUHIKVS (0MM. lionicnr'ii I'or corn. Into n i','i-.;e Ha' pop-eoru wait, A mil-,' hull' eiigi. of wii. 'I'liey w en) laird and round mid yellow as p"l'1. "1 think, " said ll-ihert, 'they'ro slilT with cold, Let's warm them over the lire." So over tile mills the iO.Porn went, liolii'rt swum; the cao of w in'. '""I"' l"'l! I'"l! I'"l'! lloppity-hip! liiiioly-lioi? "Sen t hi iii try to jump out nf tli- llr!'' (lilt of 111" i-au'e tin' io-i'orll iiniii When ! ojii-n -d the door of wir-. 'Look !" 'Tied K )! rt thev'r" whit" a- snow, Ki'tom' and chickens and It I r- Mm-, oh ! 'J'hey p,,i-ej i, ut their skins m tin tin-!" Siinheata-. A KITTKN AM) A S Al.l.lOA Toll. "Tabby," the cat, manifested great curiosity, not unmixed with jealousy, when Hool.ebub was installed as a family pel, and she acquired the un kind habit of walking up to him at every opportunity, and showing her displeasure by deliberately culling him with her paw. Then slit; would retire, showing evident satisfaction as if she had performed a duty. This was done one- too often ; fot li -I'lzebiili had evidently harbored in his memory her former insults, an 1 this last one proved too much fur his injured spirit. His eyes Hashed with a yellowish light, and, when Tabby was walking away, he scrambled after, seized her tail and idling to it vicious ly. This frightened tho bully, and she started on a race around tile room. Inking aerial Mights over chairs and tables, with lieelzebiib desperately clinging to her tail. When we re h'lihed the panic-stricken Tabby, we were surprised to find that Hc'liebuli was none the worse for his wild expe rience, and with widely distended j iws, ho breathed a general defiance ; but Tabby had received a lesson, and she never molested Ketlzebub again. St. Nicholas. FAMOfS ItOdfM rXKl'MANTS. Tim complete history of rogue do phuiits would make an interesting chapter. They seem to havo decided to avenge man's wrongs against their kind. Some years ago one rogue act ually took posie-isioii of a stretch of country iu India forty miles wide by one hundred long, and iu business like way proceeded to demolish every thing iu or about it. The animal ru-diod into the villages, took huts upon its tusks and tore them apart, or tossed them until they fell to splinters. It chased the people away or killed t hem whenev- r it could, or, standing by the wrecked houses, it ale the grains and stores. This elephant seoni 'd remarkably intelligent. It entertained in particu lar, a grudge against the Hatch-towers or scaffolds, Whelicvtr this rogue saw one, he would creep sidy, spring at it, push it to the ground, and kill its occupants. A famous rogue dephrnt named "Mainllu" was owned by a rich man near .1 ill ilm Iporo in central India. Suddenly it began to develop tho characteristics of il "rootle," and at tached human beings wherever seen. It killed them so cruelly thai it be came widely know n as "the mini-outer." Ho was finally destroyed by an organ ized effort of l'nglish army ollieers. Another famous rogue took posse sion of a public load and al lacked every passer-by. Suddenly darting from the jungle, it would rush up to an ox-i art, seize the driver with its trunk, and ili-nppear. Repeated raids of this kind so terrified the people thai a large tract of laud was to all intents and purposes deserted ; but finally an P.iiolish hunter determined to rid the country of the rogue. Py careful in quiry he found that the elephant always seized the driver, and if there were two carts iu com pany, it chose the driver of the last. Si i he arranged two ox-carls, putting a dummy driver upon the second, while 11)1.111 tin- lirst was a stout bum boo cage in which the hunter was to sit rille iu baud. When all was ready the two ox-carts started, one day, fol lowed by the hopes and best wishes of the community. The fatal district was soon reached, and, about half way down the road, there camo a crush! and the monstrous elephant, dark and ugly, dashed upon tho partv. Making directly for tho last cart, with a vicious swing of its trunk, it seized on the dummy man and mado off, re ceiving as it went a shot from the cage. Hut the oxen, alarmed by tho uproar, ran away, leaving the road ninl Inking to tho open country. They tipped the cart over, nearly killing the Ciiged driver and tho English HpurtMiiaii. What tho elephant thought when it tore the dummy into shreds must bo imagined. Some 1 1 1 . 1 1 1 1 1 later, however, this rogue was driven away and caught. St. Nicholas. THE USIiFUL BAMBOO It is Utilized by the Chinese in a Variety of Ways. Turned Into Houses. Funiture, Food and Medicine. Just go nud look at your long, slender bamboo lishing pole, and try to fancy what a house would look like built of that sort of thing. Y'et when a Chinaman wishes to build a house, he doesn't hire an architect and look up a contractor, nud (urn gray over plumbers nud decorators, he j'ist merely goes and plants a few bamboo roots. Then he goes ou quietly at tending to his business nud I ts tie m grow. In a few months he has a fine forest of bamboo from forty to eighty feet high, and with stalks ranging from half an ineli to eightei n inches in d.ameter. He digs a trench the shape and si.: he wishes bis lum-c, nud proceeds to cut the trees he thinks the proper siz an 1 sots them up in this tr nch, which lie tli- n tills up. With tin.' slenderer stalks he makes the ratters nud shingles il with bamboo leaves. The windows are del ieate lat ticework of bamboo, and the furni ture is of slender bamboo, bent and curb d ,'itid plaited. 11 is water bucket is a good hi stalk sawed oil' just below the joint a, id made as deep us ho needs above it. For a bottle he takes a slender piece and treats it in the same way. If in Ihe confusion of building he mislays his knife h just t ikes a good sharp edge of bamboo, and docs jn-t as well for every thing except cutting bamboo as if it were Slu-fli 'Id steel. While ho is buildin he keeps off the Jiangs of hunger by cutting the little tender shoots just as Ciey peep from the ground and cooking them like aspara gus. Of course we all know how dan gerous it is to move at once into a new house, it is so likely to bo damp, and so Mr. Sin Foo catches a severe col l. All hi! does is to run out to his bamboo thicket gather a few leaves, boil them and drink the tea. In a day or so he is all right and ready to enjoy the delicious dinner which Mrs. Sin Foo has prepared iu honor of the "roof raising." She has delicate boiled bamboo shoots, bamboo grains baked in a bamboo joint with honey and bamboo shools candied with sugar. I can't tell you all tlu-y make of bamboo. Masts and cordage, kites, fences, bridges, fans, pipes for carry ing water over the lie) fields, the fin est of taper, and, iu fact, nearly everything they tn '. The strangest of nil uses isto bore gas and oil wells with it. They begin by twirling a hollowed bamboo polo where they wish to sink the will. This gradually works its way into the ground. When sunk to its full length, they fasten another to the end of it, mi l keep on twirling. This operation they keep up until lin y strike gas or oil, w hich comes gushing up through the poles. They use th'-ni also for bringing brino to the surface from the salt wells. And then just think how much cleaner, prettier and more graceful it is than our ugly iron work. Apropos of this I remcmb r nu incident of the dainty little Japan ese folk who took part in tli' Colum bian exposition. In the space allotted for their village was one of our ordi nary iron waK r taps. It never occurs to us b notice how hi. lions they are, but the Japanese looked nt it, shud dered as one man, and at once se! about hiding the hateful object with dean, shining bamboo. Washington Star. Some llig Counties. F.ast of the Rocky mountains there are only twelve counties iu the I'nitcd States containing more than ."t.OiMI square miles. Not one of these is in New Yolk St iti , the largest county of which, St. Iiiwreuce, covers only 2,'J-IO :-qunre miles. One of the twelve is Aristook, the forest county of northern Maine, between New lirunswiek and the St. I.iwrctice. An othtr is Dade county, Florida, which indudcH the everglades of Florida, along the Atlantic coast, and has an area ot ,t'tM squ ire miles ami a total population of ililO. Cherry county, Nebraska, iu the extreme northeast of the state, with the Snake river divid ing it in half, has an area of 5,ttitS miles. Three northern counties of Minnesota lying south of Nanitohti and west of Lake Supcriif, Beltrami, Itasca, and St. Ijouis, have respective ly 5,0-10, 5,t:b), aid 5,SiiO square miles. The last county includes the important city of Dultith, but the first has a population of only 1100 nud the second only of 750. The population D.ulth is :i.r,000. Two ?niuities of Idaho- Bingham, containing the lava lieldr. r.td Idaho, south of the Ni 7- Perees' riM&nation -contain more than 10,000 square miles each. Two counties iu Texas, Pc-cus (in-1 F.I Paso, have more than 5,000 square miles. Pecos, which is in t lie extreme west of the state, on the Rio ' Griunlo, has ;,7i)0. El Paso, which j adjoins it on the Rio Grande, has I 0,7.10. One county of Colorado, Ara paho, has an nrea of 5,2'JO square J miles, hut it is still more notable from the fact that it has a population of I 5i,H00, iududiug the city of Denver. R-uitt County, in Ihe same State, has : an area of (!,00t) .-.qiiare miles. On the : Pacific slope counties, like trees and ; fruits, nre of gigantic size. Six coun ties of Oregon, three counties ol j Washington, seven counties of Ne i vada and sewn counties of California, ; have more than 5,000 square miles. 'The largest of all iu the I'nited States j is the county of San Bernardino, to I the east of Lus Angrl-s. Its area is ; L'l ,000 square miles, nearly half tho j size of New York State, and 5,00 ) I miles larger than New Jersey, Dela ware, Connecticut and Rhode ilalld combined. ( 'hieago Times. Japan ami tli" Japs. A Japanese pillow is very much like one of the supports of a Japanese clog a iin r board four inches wide, set edgewise. The Japanese baby, always riding pick-a-back, early learns to use his own legs and arms in clinging to her perch. This early training, with the freedom from restraint provided by Japanese garments, makes the people strong and wiry. Passing from Hong Kong to Yoko hama in pleasant weather tho imperial beauty of tho white-cupped cone ol Fuji-San, towcrin ; 12, "00 feet above the sen, dwarfs all other sights. It if j probably tho most beautiful inouiitaii: in tho world, and justilius Japanese praise of it. From tho door porter to tho Em peror, politeness is a national trait iu Japan. It means little, as does every universal custom, but produces a de cidedly pleasant impression on one fresh from Occidental rudeness. Knock nt a Japanese door, J'oiii welcome is "Ohair !" "We welcome your honorable return." The street salutation is "Ohayo," inclining "hon orableeariy" or "good morning." 'There are practically no oaths ot "cuss words" in the Japanese language. About the most emphatic remark available for use, even by Jinrikisha men in a street blockade is "shiksu!" or "beast !" As in China tho Japanese theatre is open all day, and the presentation of a heroic national play occupies a very Ion;; time. Devotion to duty is al most the unvarying theme of dramatic representation. Tickets for Scats in ( liurdi. The Trustees of tho People's Tem ple, Coluiiibii-i Avenue and Berkeley Street, Boston, of which tho Rev. James Boyd Brady is pastor, have been living the experiment of issuing re served scat, tickets for the Sunday evening services. The innovation haft proved a great success. The members of the congregation have the first choice of seats, and then the public is admitted. This action was made necessary iu order to accom modate the church's ow n members nud contributors who have been crowded out by the immense increase in the general attendance. Although ihe auditorium holds '.',500 people it has of lute been crowded to the doulsoti Sunday evenings. The ticket plan has not added ma terially to the comfort of the regular members, but it has tended to imike transient coiners permanent, thus in creasing the resources of the chinch. New York Times. Her Utile .Mistake. She had attended the ainbii lance, classes and obtained the Cettiiicnte, The street accident she had earnestly prayed for took place. A man had broken his leg. She confiscated the walking stick of a passer by and broke it in three pieces for splints, and tore up her skirt foi bandages. When all was completed she summoned a cab and took her patient so the hospital. "Who bandaged this limb so credit ably?" inquired the surgeon. "1 did,"she bliishingly replied. "Well, it is most beautifully most beautifnly done ; but yon havo made, 1 find, one little mistake. You have liambu'ed tho wrong leg." San Fran-ci-c Argonaut. A Business Kulc. He had been making an avowal of love to the heiress. "And may I havo an answer tomor row, dearest ?" "Not tomorrow, Georgf. Iu juonev matters I always insist on throo davs grace." Judge, Evolution. Out of the dusk a shadow, Then a spark j Out of tho cloud II Sili'lic", Then a iKrk -, Out of tho heart a rapture, Then n pnin ; Out of tin) dead cold ashes. Life HKiiin. Jons Hl'.MOKOUS. , Tabb. The worst lies aro half truths. A cold snap--Breaking an icicle. You know the fish hook is the cause of many sinful, awful yarns? Y'csj it's ft nuisance something to a-bait. "Such matters must bo minced," said tho butcher as ho dropped a cat into the chopper. Billing and cooing llouri-hes during the honeymoon. Afterwards tlw bill ing sometimes stops the cooing. Clara So Lottie is married? Is she perfectly happy, do you think? Florence Oh, dear, yes; i am suro so. Her trousseau was faultless. Raoitl I had a dog who attacked all the ra-caLs. His Friend What did you do with him? Rioul I had to get rid of hi in. H'-' wan evcrlast i lgly biting me. Servant Maid On breathless excite un til)- Professor, lb -re's a burglar in the dining-rooiu ! Professor (deeply absorbed without looking up) Tell him I'm engaged. "If my employer does not retract what he said to me this morning, I shall leave his store." "Why, what did he say?" "He told mo 1 could look for another place." "But what can you do, young man? Haven't you some special talent or taste some bent as they say?" Ap plic ml (dubiously) "N-iio, not that I can think of except that I am a little bow-legged." First Tramp Are you in favor of the income tax? Second Tramp You bet I am. I go further'u that. I'm in favor of given' every man an income to bo taxed. Sammy Let's take this basket back to grandma's now. Danny No, sir; it's raining terribly out. I just camo in, and I've got one pnir of wet feet, an' Pin not going to get another pair of 'cm. "There, that will teach you what's what," pulled the teacher, as sho banged the whipped boy back into his seat. "I I 1 already knowed what's what," sobbed the boy ; its a pro noun ! " Iu ciairliin; her lm told her that Ilo'd die for her without iiiisgivinc Vet, married now and well insured, lie doth still pcr-M-t in living. Amy Why did you marry Harry who never sent you any presents, whilo you refused Jack, who was always giving you jewelry, candy, books and tho Ike? Mabel Jack had spent all his money. "May I not,' he pleaded, "kiss (hose matchless lips?' "Not for an instant," she rejoined, "can 1 think of such a thing." Patiently ho waited until an instant had elapsed, and was duly rewarded. Mother Johnny, ouyour way homo from school step at the store and get mo a stick of candy and a bar of soap. Father What do you want of a stick of candy? Mother That's so he'll renu mber tho soap. l'irt Lobster It's getting lone some hero now with all the society bathers gone. Second Lobster - Never mind, we are liable to meet them alter supper this w inter, and then we'll get the rest of our lino work in. llardacies You say that Whipple's horse jumped that ditch? Thai was iv wonderful jump. Huntley Yes; but il wits nothing to the one Whipple inn ii'. He landed at least twenty feet farther ou than the horse did. MoOn i -I gave von ten cents to be n.M'd m -l. rdny, and today you aro j i t trying .t show how bad you can be. Willie -Yes, but I am just trying to sli iv you today that you got tho wol i of "iir money yesterday. Miss L itest Fad The beauty books say every woman should have a hobby. Miss Growing Older What is wor rying me more than anything else just now is the fact that I should havo a "hubby. " Pittsburg I lispaich. Mrs. Watts Isn't it in Turkey that a woman is not allowed to see her hus band until the day of the wedding?" Mrs. Potts I don't remember, but anyway it is not much worse than tho American way of seeing so little of him after marriage." "Papa" inquired the editor's only son, "what do you call your oflicel" "Well," was the reply, "the word calls nt. - iiitor's olliee the sanctum sanctorum. " "Then 1 suppose," and the situ il boy was thoughtful for a iiioiii.-'i, "that niaiiiina's olliee is a spankum spauktorum, isn't it'" S