Sluttltam gUc-uwI. l)atl)am tttcorb. II. A. LOIN DOIN, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. RATES OF ADVERTISING TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, One square, one insertion One square, two insertions -One square, one month. II.-0 1.10 vo $1.50 PER YEAR Strictly In Advance. For larger advertisements liberal ecu racts will be made. VOL. XVII. 1'ITTSBOUO', CHATHAM CO., N. C MARCH 28, 1895. NO. 31. Mirk if (Lgi Faith. Dark at a dungeon my chamber As, rising, I gropo my way Slop hy stop to the window 'I'll nt faces (In1 faroft day. black is tin' night tlint I sop not I' von th'i window liars, Xor. straining my vision uiiward, Tlio p iKst glimmer of stars. Xo faintest lire itli in tho brunches Hurled in caverns of gloom i Even the roto of tin- ocoan Is linslieil ns tlio coming of doom. Nothingness, iieihingnoss reignili Aliovo mo, In icntli mid around ; A limitless realm of blackness, A fathomless limit of sound. Unreal, un'.omuilo soomotli Kvon thn spot whore I g'nn I ; Lifting In trial before mo My nndiHvrnihlo hail I. And jot. bewildered ami I.afn.-.l. On O'ns" ou it"s koop' th its swnyj 1 know, I am sure that my window Faces tho far-off day! -lUniiiKr McKwkn Kimuai.l, in lndoon-dont. ONLY A SHOWER. 1!Y I.KIlill WBnsTKIS. Herbert R.li-i fifnol into tlio Fifth avenue stage nt Hleooker stroi I one nftcnuMiti in tlio curly spring. Ho ill.l not one how long it took him to get uptown. For the last four days ho had lost nil interest in life, iin.l timo was no longer of imy importance to him. Ho will yoiimr, ho wns lino looking, li was n rising lawyrr; his mother hail boon n Van K lissi laor jot ho nut moodily gazing nt tho linn lie of his umbrella, while t!r yours soomeil to stretch uw.iy before him in milirokoii weariness. Ho iiotioc'l that it wns beginning to sji inklo as tlioy iienrod twenty-third street, iiinl thou Cornelia Winchester came into tho stage mi l nit down il roi'tly oijuisito him. Slio gave n little start of confusion us ho gravely raisoil his hat, n:ul tip n tuned her attention fixedly out of tlio window. Herbert hud cogitated n good deal over uhat would be tho most trying way in whieh to moot tlio girl who h id rjt eled him. Xow that he sat opposite her in n Fifth iivenuo stage ho did not know what to do. He could not bolt. That would hurt her t -nder herrt, it 1 1 In n ; li it did not beat for him. His eyes wore lifted no higher than the hem of her heliotrope gown, but ho saw that it was tlio same one bin: hud worn that d ly nt Mrs. Yuugliiin Smith's tea, when he beguiled her iii to tho conservatory to sol' the violets. She had Imped that they might al ways be friends, mi l ho mount after n while when he was a little more used to it, to go and see her, just to show her that he hud no feeling. Hut it wns too soon ns yet for him to tiuil it easy to see her again, mid In: thought ho would leave flu Mage at the club. Tliat would bo perfectly natural. Ho could stand it until then. If ho had looked at her fao. he would have seen that she was not en tirely at enso either. Her cheeks al ternately flushed nn. I paled as she gazed persistently out of tin: window. Hut ho did not see that, as he lifted his eyes no higher than the tip of her patent leather shoe and the odgo of that heliotrope gown. Ho was think ing of her as she linked when they went into tho conservatory that day, with her golden hair coiled under ft bewitching hat nil green leaves, mid violets. Shesociind tho very incar nation of spring to him. The driver growled "Fare!" down through his peephole. She started consciously and took out her purse. Hr vis-a-vis held out his hand with "Allow me!" and tho purse slipped to tho floor. Their eyes met ns ho restored her property, and she blushed vividly. Ho puzzled over this as ho took his sent nguiu after depositing her fare. Why should nho bo discomposed? "Sho is sorry forme," ho thought; "she is so sensitive. " Ho must got out of this for her sake ns well ns his own. Whore were they, anyway? Only at Thirty-fourth street! Tho rain was now coming down heavily and sho had no umbrella! Ho could uot get out, of course, unless he could leave his umbrella with her. lint that would look so odd. Very likely, by tho timo they reached her street, tho April Rhower would be all over. Well, ho would ride on a little longer and see. Ob thoy went past Sherry's, where he had danced with hor so often ; past the club, whoro lie saw Hilly do I'eys tor and Remington looking out Hilly, whom ho had decided upon for his "best man ;" on, up into the fifties; St. Thomas', where thoy would nev.-r be married now. The rain was falling relentlessly. They were almost at her street. Ho had decided what to do. Ji.st before they reached Fifty seventh street he bent forward. "Miss Winchester, please tako my umbrella;" and ho held tho silver Iliad toward her. How sho started! "Oil, no, no; thank you ;" and hIio hurriedly pulled tho Btruj), without giving him tima to do it, nnd fairly sprang out of the door. What could he do but follow? As ho unfurled tho umbrella over her head they woro on tho sidewalk, ami ho isaid, inanely : "You mustn't spoil your gowu, yon know." "Oh, I don't euro about that," she said impatiently. 'ltut it's too pretty to spoil," he went on. "I like that color particu larly." She looked at him curiously. Her eyes said. "I wonder if you remem ber?" but her words wore ; "lo you always notice tho color of gowns?" "1 always have of yours," ho said, simply. He thought ho was getting on beautifully in his role of friend. They were walking along Fifty-seventh street. She was wry near him under the umbrella. Ho hoped ho would be saved from saying anything that lie that ho would regret afterwurd. For tunately, it would not bo much longer. "This is very kind of you after " Sho ho-it'ited, and her voice was very low. "Not nt nil," ho ft, id in n cheerful tone. "N'o one could have done any thing else." There was a moment's pause, and then she said hurriedly: "I'm glad of this chance to tell you that I have reproached myself a great deal since the other day, because " "Oh, you needn't think of tint again ; you were as kind ns you could bo." Why would she talk nluiut it? Kim went on: "You took mo so by surprise that I'm afraid 1 was nbrupt, and and 1 answered inconsiderate ly " "Oh, no," lie interrupted; "yon were gentleness itself. I suppose 1 did startle you. 1 dalu't say anything that 1 mount to. Perhaps a man never does. " "You know," the pursued, "you h id never given in : miy reason to think you cured for nn: in lint way, and 1 till u feeling you were rpeuk ing on impulse." "Impulse !'' h : broke forth. "How could you think ill it? Why, I've never h d a thought for anybody else sineo that day wo first met. F.very case I've won h is been for you. I've worked and lived just for tlu day when 1 could speak. 'Impulse!' fan n niiin feel like that and not show it? 1 thought, of course, you understood but " ho eheeke I himself "I beg your pardon I ought not to go on in this way only you see it wasn't 'im pulse.' I made a great mistake, that was all. You couldn't help that, of course. It was my own fault. Hut you needu't worry nny more it's all right." They were going up her atop now, and he was holding tin: umbrella so that a little stream of water was trick ling down her back. She did not seem to even notice it. Neither of them spoke as ho pulled tho bell. Then she turned a face in which shy ness nnd despair were mixed. "Hut it isn't 'all right' for me!" Ho looked at her with such a be wildered ga.o that sho laughed tre.nu lotisly. "You don't understand now," she said, and then just as her moaning dawned upon him tho April sun burst out, the butler opotiod tho door and they wont in together. Hair (ironing in a Blanket. William H. Forbes of Spencer Cor ners, Fulton county, is the possessor of a very old horse blanket, which (lifters from its fellows in th it it has a well defined coat of hair in various singes of development, ulivo and grow ing. While possibly of a liner and silkier texture, it is an excellent re production of a horse's coat, which the blanket formerly covered. Mr. Forbes first discovered this pceulfirity in October last, whou tak ing it down from the peg in tho barn where it had hung undisturbed during th'j summer. He was naturally greatly astonished to discover two patches of growing hair, one on either side, where it had beeu exposed to the light and air. Tno hair is of a bright bay color, and is now an inch in length. Probaldy the most peculiar feature of tho affair, however, is tho fact that the hair has spread from the two patches until it has entirely covered tho blan ket with a lino growth, varying in shade ami color. It has not only been subjected to a critical inspection by several reputable men, but has undergone a microscopic test by two prominent physicians, of whom Dr. Henry C. Finch of lirodnl biu makes affidavit before Judge Gnrd uer "that tlu hair now growing on the blanket is true hair, and that the roots of the sumo are alive and in process of development." Albany (N. Y. ) Times. The Huge for (tiiniiio. "Tho sale of quinine has increased in Into years to such an extent, said a druggist who has ono of tho largest trades in this lin, "that it hasbecomo n s'.nplo article in nearly every drug store. It is being bought in bulk in such large quantities in would surprise you. (jtiiniuo has gained a popular reputation by some means or other of being a sort of cure-all. You can hardly imagine tho various illnesses which people are now Using it to rem edy. Some arc foolish in the extreme ; how the customers get such ideas ol quinine's efficacy in treatment of some sicknesses is more than I can say. Tho salo of tho drug has been increasing rapidly during tho last few years. The two-grain pill is the one that sells tho most. Three years ago our store sold lO.OOi) of those, whilj this year the amount will bent least 500.IMM. Tho price, of course, has greatly decreased in tho last decade. About ton years ago, I remember, it s dd for nn ounce; now it can bo bought in open market iu 50 boiinoo lots for 2" cents and at ono time it was dowu as low as 15 cents. "People in lining ipiiniuo should be careful thoy gof u good grade of the article or that thoy are not being fooled altogether. In many cays an inferior product of tho cinchona bark, from which quinine is m ido, is substi tuted for the real article. It is a little bettor than the cinchona bark and has not nearly otie-thir I of the virtue ol quinine. This is called eiiieliouidia, and can be bought for from two cents to four cents nn ounce, just a little more than the bark itself. It is is so good an imitation that the customer in unable to tell tho difference, except that the results will not be the same. People should bo careful to get the pure drug, and tho only giiiiriinteo they can have is tho reputation of tho man who sells it to them. "Winter, when people are catching colds, is the best season for the i-nlo ol quinine, although the silo keeps up well during tho entire year. A damp, murky day is sure to bring the quinine lb: lid to real z; that he needs some i f his favorite remedy, so the miles on those days nr.: always large." Pitts burg Dispatch. Flowers C.ioro.l While Von Wail. Tho football rage is responsible for a great in any oui-ioin tiling-', but it seems to have its last spasm in the do maud for flowers for decorations at football parties and banquets. The demand for orange and black and blue and white flower has led growers ol chrysanthemums and florists into chemical research as to the possibility of providing the desired colors. White chrysanthemum! aro dipped in dyes of different shades, and the experiment of producing several colors in one flower bus bo:Mi nnd: with success. The naturalist nnd tho tp.thetic lover of flowers can scarcely repress a shud der of horror nnd disgust at tlio sight of a chrysanthemum in Scotch plaid or one with streaks of orange and black or alternate petals of blue ami white. Ringed, streaked, speckled and spotted chrysanthemums will toon become the order of the day. It has been suggested that Tammany tiger colors bo adopted for the next conclave of the Tammany Society. At present tho fad seems to run not only to football colors, but to tho matching of shades in dress and deco ration. My lady may take a piece of her last Paris dress to tho florist and give tho order for flowers to match, all of which may bo done while sho waits. It has not transpired just how long ono must wait, but as orders aro tilled with a rush, it may bo that tho flower lends itself readily to this monstrous bur lesque o:i nature, and greedily ab sorbs whatever is offered it, New Y'ork Ledger. The Olilrst Fire Department. Tiie oldest lire department in the world is that of Rome. Its history dates back as far as 75',) A. V. C. Iu Papal times tho commander of tho corps belonged to the best Roman families, such as the Origo, (iuetani, tho Aldabrandini and tho Chigi. Don Giovanni of tho Priuces Chigi was tho commander of the corps in 1S70. Tho actual servico is very good us far as heroism and unselfishness can niuko it so, but the organization is had. For tunately fires aro rare. Last year there wcro only 25S. Only eight were nerious. Only two of tho firemen were injured and none were killed. New York Journal. The Hoot nt the Matter. She If you are really connected with tho Vmi Rlewbludds, why havm't you u family tree? Ho (confidentially) Well, a-hom to toll van the truth, our family is only a bruueh. Puck. CHILDREN'S CO LOIN. Tin: i.ii ii.t; laiows i nn Kr.r that i.ivi.n in TUB Al l.. Jois.i wont to tier grandma's last summer, in dune. And she stayed until Into in tlio fall; Hut the very best friend Ilia' sho made wliilo away, Was tlio cricket that lived in tlio wall. Tim littl" brown cricket that lived iu tho wall, As merry, as merry could !', Ho dan I all tin- day and snug all th night Tle gayest of go-id eoinpiinle. "Oooil bye, little eri.'kel," eried lio'll Ut last, "I'm sorry to le.iv you io !moii ; Jtut do not forget mot I'm ''omin iiRiiin ; I'm eomiiiK next summer in.lmi". I wish I could bike you away to my Iioiio, Hut you wouldn't enjoy it at all. For there isn't a bit of a garden, y.ui c, Nor a dear little li.Oe in tin1 wall." As Iio.su nestle! that ni,-lil in hor bod. She beard from her trunk in the hall A U' or littl- "oreakity oreakity-ereak." "l'was the cricket that lived in the wall. Tho little brown cricket that lived in 111" wal Had tak"ii a journey . ynn see. And ho iliiiiocl and ho "on akloit" the I0114; winter throu The gnyosl r.f gcml l ompanio. - Sah M. (11 i m i l' in t. N'i' h .las. W H AT A NI'..sT OK IIIIIDS WILL K .T. Think of 11 bird's nest with live young ones iu it. F.very young bird needs, 011 the average, 50 caterpillars a day, that makes 2"0 a day. The young birds 1110 fed by their mother for about thirty days, disposing of about 7,500 cutorpillus. Kadi of these pests gets its own weight in leaves 1.11 I blossoms every day. If each of these cutorpillus eats but one blosoiu n day this represents the enormous loss of l!25.000 blossoms, nnd suppose only ten blossoms iu each K)J would have ripened into a fruit, we would still have 22,500 apples or pears less, but for the nest of birds. Atlanta Jour nal. Lin: is a r.vms school. The large Paris schools are called lyeees, or lvoeiiins, but the pupils re fer to them as "boxes," and this is not at nil surprising w hen you consid er that the boys are shut up in schools j 1st about ns if thoy were in a box or a prison. They are al-o required to wear 11 distinctive uniform, which is usually of dark blue cloth, with gold buttons and gold embroidery, nnd a peak cap bearing the monogram of the school ill front. They sleep in dormitories, fifteen or twenty in one room, and get their exercise mid re creation in a gravelled court-yard in the rear of the school buildings. This yard is usually not very large and the only games the scholars play are mar bles, tops, and leap-frog or tag. There is no football or basabuli or t'unis, and even tho childish games they do. indulge in are under the supervision of a tutor. On Thursdays the boys nto taken out for n promenade in charge of a tutor, nnd they arJ marched around th streets two by two for an hour or more. Those hoy. whoso parents live iu Paris, and those who have friends iu the city, are al lowed once in two weeks to visit their friends and relatives on Sunday. i course almost every boy cnu rake up some sort of a "relative" for the sake of getting out of the "box" occasion ally, and thoso w itli imaginary rela tives spend their time on the boule vards eating cakes and seeing the sights. This thoy would probably not do if they enjoyed the liberty ac corded to American boys, instead of being confined for weeks iu t walle.l yard, Tho method of punishment is to make a scholar write several thousand lines ns a task, or to deprive him of his Thursday walk, or to deprive him of one or more of his Sundays out. A minor punishment is inflicted by mak ing tho boys stand up against tho wnll of the play-ground nnd learn Latin versos by heart during recess. The working-hours are somewhat longer than in America, because cer tain fixed hours are set asido for prep aration and study. For instance, there is a recitation at eight o'clock in the morning, thou a study-hour, aud then fifteen minutes' recess, fol lowed by an other study hour. In the afternoon there are usually two recita tion hours and 0110 study hour. All studying is done in the class-room under the supervision of a tutor, nnd no talking is allowed. As a result of this enforced silence the boys beeoipe adepts in a sort of deaf-and-dumb sign-language, and carry on lengthy conversations which they would never think of wasting time on if they might say what they had to say out loud. At four o'clock every afternoon the boys line up in tho play-ground, and servants pass along iu front of them with baskets of bread and butter, each boy helping himself to a slice its his uru comes. Harper's Yuuujf Pcupla. OCHAX TRAMPS. Steamships That arc the Guerrillas of the Sea, Snllors Li-vl Clver-less Lives Abuard the Dirty Nomad. There is but one very peculiar fent ui'e iu the ninritim ! life of every coun try about which very little is generally known mid that is the trump steam ship, says the Hrooklyn Eagle. F.very year numbers of steamers, soiiu: large, some small, often ugly and dirty to look nt, an I commonly cnlled tramps from their readiness to go anywhere nnd take a hand iu trade that happens at the mum nt to promise a profit, ar rive at and leavo our shores. These ocean footjut Is are generally worn out bulks, discarded by tho companies who own them, and belonging to no regular lino and identified with no particular class of cargo, and are sent out 11 a matter of speculation to pick 1111 what freight they can from port to port, like 1111 old ainl worthless horse turn :d out of tho regular past 11 ro to find 11 living by the roadside, Thoy nre guerrillas of the sea. Some of them leave tin ir native countries Knglan l, Norway, Germany an 1 Spain a few mouths before their annual tickets of insp 'cl ion expire, and re in lilt away soiii'diiiies for years with out undergoing a 11 'w survey and in spection. )n suoh ships the boilers may boon the point of explosion, the machin ery may be a dingeroils ooiidit.oii, in ii'lequfito in power to propel the ship against great stress of weather; the steering gear may be warranto 1 to jam nt some critical moment; tiieir huils may be in tho last stage of decay, nnd perhaps their boats me not lit to flout when lowered from tho davits, yet so long as I In: vessel holds together and alter leaving one port arrives safo at another, no one grumbles except tho crow, w hose 111 r iii joiiieiits are often times such that they cannot lenvo the vess 1 if thoy would, for care is token to ship, if possible, only married men, mid with an offer of allotment notes, leaving half pay to their families, the: e seamen must invariably liud sureties that they will not desert the ship dur ing the perio 1 agreed upon in the ship's articles. There c .in he nothing worse iu the way of ehcorlessness and discomfort than life aboard such craft, mid the hardships nil I grieviuiejs of these seafarers are peculiarly grout. After h iving been laid Up at Liver pool or Glasgow for sum : time, orders will be given to prepare the trump for sea, Oil'sh" will start on a voyage that will be extraordinarily zigzag. Perhaps to commence with she goes to Cardiff for 11 cargo of coal to otio of the West Indian Island s. Arriving at destination orders are given to pro ceed to Kio, w her.1 tho Captain finds a cargo of coffee for (! ipo Horn, from w hence he proceeds t Shanghai or Foochoo for a shipment of tea to San Francisco or New York, if to the hit ter port, perhaps there is another trip to Itio, thence 11 journey to Antwerp. Eventually t he ship gets buck home, more or less tlio worse for h 'r journey round the globe, and then, with n coat of paint and n polish to such metal as hhe may, this tramp is made to appear to the landsman's eye a staunch and good ship. Hcsides being able to carry cargoes nnd freight nt much lower rates than the ships of regular com panies, the fact of their being able to carry on other b isinosi give.i them a still further opportunity to unfairly compete with established lines. The operating expenses of these oeeiiii tramps are reduced to a very low level. The coal consumption is small, in many cases not over twenty live to forty tons n day ; the crew is as small ns possible, und the other gen eral expenses are kept nt a minimum. Oil the sea the tramp steamer is but little like 1. Hluudi ing along with n bud look-out, peilnps tioiio at nil, the tramp is a terror to the owners ol small sailing craft yachts, fishing and coasting schooners nnd, taking no notice of their lights, often crashes into them, remorselessly sending some of tho occupants to a watery grave. Tho officers of mail steamers, h'.so, profess great dislike t 1 the tramp, which may be partly assumed and partly real, for thev greatly dread a Collision with sonu; bauly steered, carelessly managed voss d heavily la den with coal or iron or grain. The question is, what becomes of all the ocean tramps? Some are sold for coast ing and up-river trade on the African coast and other out of tho way places; many are broken ui for (dd iron, but the majority of them probable end their career, so fur us any record ol them is concerned, by being chroni cled ill the dally papers as missing, which means that they hive Anally Buceuml i'J -o some peril of the sea. Wars ( nosed by Trifles, Many times it has happened that a great and costly war lias been brought about by nn incident trivial mid even ridiculous, Bays Answers. Thus iho war of tho Spanish succession is said to have been caused through a ghu-s of water. A lady, Mrs. Mashain was carrying n glass of water, when she was obstructed by the Marquis do Torev. A slight scuffle ensued und tho water wns spilled. The Marquis thereat took offense and bad feeling ensued between the English mid French courts, with the ultimate re sult that war was declared. The cam paign cost France many severe bat tles, vix. ; Blenheim, 1701; lbunillies, 1707; Oudeiiiirdo, Pos, and M.ilplu- quel, 1700. ( biite as nl s'ird in its origin was tho war that took place during the com monwealth at Modoiiu. A soldier stole a bucket from a public wdl b: luliging to the State of 15 dogua. Al though the value of the article did not exceed a quarter, its annexation was the sign d for a lierc" und pro longed war. Henry, the King of Sar dinia, assisted the Modeiiese to retain tho bucket, and iu one of the subse quent battbs ho was undo a prisoner, the bucket is st. II exhibited iu the tower of the cathedral of Mod-nn. A third iustancj of a war nsulling from a trifling cause, was that between Lou's VII of France und Henry If of England. Tho Archbishop of II men decreed that no one should wear long hair upon his head or chin. Louis submitted to the decree, whereupon his wife Eleanor, rallied him upon bis appearance. A quarrel ensued, which resulted iu the dissolution of the mar riage and Eleanor's nnu'ringe with Henry. Hy this marriage the broad domains iu Normandy, formerly be longing to Louis passed into the poss ession of Henry. Louis, hotly in censed, made an attack on Normandy, and heneeforte, for nearly !I0D years arose those bloody and devastating wars, which cost France upward ol :!,()00,t)0() of lives. The Adhesive Piaster. In one family where there are num erous sid'-ahec"1, backaches, bruises and sprains, the porous plaster hue come to Inn recognized institution. Its putting oil in generally accepted with delight, but wh"ii it comes to the taking otf, the "oh dears!" "don'ts" and cries of pain urc many and em phatic. Even utter the plaster is pulled oil', there is 11 lay r of adhesive gum on the skin that is struggled with in all sorts of ways. S unet inies the razor is employod for scraping; some times a sharp knife is brought into use, mid again a soft warm cloth is pressed over the spot, and when this has firmly attached itself tho peeling process goes ou. Those who have oc casion to use the application will find immediate relief from their annoy ance, if thoy will, after raising one side of the plaster, wet the surface ol the skin with alcohol, allowing it to run down 11s the plaster is pulled a little. If any of the gummy substance remains, a bit of rag wet with alcohol will c'ni.iso the sui fa "o ininiediut ly. This, also, has another advantage in tint tlio stimulating offi et of the aleo ll d prevents any possible cold that might be taken on nee unit of ihe re- ! luoval of the warm plaster. This is but 11 trifle, but it make i usy some thing that has always been a bugbear, especially to children, and it is well worth trying. Haw To Warm Cold II anils. The p s ngor on the front pint form of the crowded ear was blowing ener getically on his gloved hands. "They 'pear to be cold," said the driver, sympathetic illy. "Well, I'll tell von how to warm 'cm. Don't keep vmir gloves on when your hands get cold. Take 'em otf right away. Then double up your fist as tight lis volt cull just m if somebody was trviti' open vour fingers an' yiei wouldn't let 'em -an' then ram your hands down 111 vour coat pockets. It'll s'prise you, sir, b"W quick they'll get war.-.i. " The passetiger imm -diatidy put tho suggestion into effect. In a minute or two he looked pleasantly at thu dri ver. "It is wonderful," ho remarked. "My hands are as comfortable now ns I could wish." Washington Star. The (ireeii Ur. "I told her," she said, "to put some thyme in the breast of the turkey on t lis fust occasion of our having such a fowl utter her arrival, nt the sumo time handing her a hutuh of the herb sufficient to last all the w inter. Chime. ' ing to enter tho kitchen later, 1 saw I the bird ready 'for tho oven,' as the girl told Me. It was nut drawn, and I iu the breast she hud cvt a bole, una I inserted the entire bunch of thyme us I iicnrsagu bouquet." New York Mer i eu ry. V.i Cure l or Love. Pnid I to a beardless youth When a hopeless love befell mo; "(live mo huhn for woo and ruth, And the euro for lovn pray ti ll mo." ''Love is cured by love," sighed lie ; "Would that mine were kind ti mol" Ti ll nn.'. then." I asked a swain, Happy iu a fair bride's glances, 'What will heal my sad heart's pain, Pkrecil hy Cupid's Hying lances?" "Can love, then be cured?"' cried lioj 'Would that mine may never bo!" "Tell mo, sir, the euro for love," Kuid I to an old mini dying. "I'ain would 1 your simples pmvo." Faintly smili d lie while replying: "fiealh ha; no euro for love," said ho j "Would that mill" may follow 11113'.'' lU'MOIHU'S. For family use Marriage license. The Chinese soldier is a great sue ci ss in the long run. Down iu a coal mine A young miner's lirst moustache. Paradoxically speaking, the dude is an object of wearing apparel. A Frankfort man has written o farce comedy culled "Vaccine." It ought to take. I.oa 1 ly What time of day wns Ad.im tin- most lonesome? Moerly Just before eve. "I'll just lie in wait for the next ninn that comes along," remarked tho defect i vo weighing-machine. Oldbuch 1 suppose your wife has some favorite by-word? Loligwed liny word? Yes. She spells it c-a-s-h." Toper What, shall I lake, doctor, to remove the redii 'ss of my nose? Doctor Take nothing fur threo months. Jilson says marriage may bo a fail ure, but the man who embarks in it usually has to pay one hundred cents 011 the dollar. Teachei When Robinson Crusoo was cast 011 the island from whom did h" get his clothes? Pupil From the swell oil the beach. The microbe wafted on the breeze, X w makes liis annual trip. And when the folks begin to snoe.o, Wo know he's brought his grip, '('holly pursued a number of studies at college, didn't he?" "l'es. Ho pursued Yin, but 1 don't think he ever caught up with any." "There is one advantage about hav ing insomnia," says an uptown opti mist. "Your wife can't go through your pockets while you are asleep." Watts What do you think of this idea that there are medicinal virtues in music? Potts I believe it. Lots of these popular airs niako me sick. Miss H aid Have you "Prometheus Unbound?" Miss New Clerk No, we do not deal in any pamphlet liter ature, all our books have covers 011. He I'm sure 1 don't know f, hat to siiy to hi 111. She Just sny to him, "Mr. Norris, I wnnt to marry your daughter," and then papa will say the rest. Little Hoy Perkins, our new coach man, says England is his mother country. Is it yours, too? Gardner No, bejabers; its my shtcpuiotlier's country. Miss IVrt -Is Miss Strait Lneo cir cumspect':" Miss Caustic- -Circumspect! Why, sho won't accompany n young man on the piano without a chaperon. "I hear the lightning rod agents have formed 11 union." "Yes, and it's suro to cause trouble." Why so?" Hccuisc they are always talking about u si like." lb' wa a w fully grooii when I10 mot hor, And didn't know- what to do. lb saw another chap Ret hor. And then h was awfully Muo. Mr. Hojack (at dinner) My dear, isn't it very queer for you to serve soup alter tho beef? Mrs. Hojack Not at all, love. This is ox-tail soup, it comes last. Hruee I paid a man 10 today for carrying my overcoat. Hagley Isn't that an extravagant price? Hrace Oh, I don't know, lie had carried it t nice last spring. Master (to class) Now, Jones, tell 1110 how many seasons thoro are? Jones -Two. Master Only two. Name them. Jones The racing aud the football seasons. "Y'ou seem excited, dear. What lias happened?" "l'oor Jack Murray, I have just rejected li i in. "Oh, dont mind a little thing like that. Why I reject him every six months." Asker I'm going to give my wife a book, and 1 wonder what kind sho would like. Hasker If she is any thing like my wife a pocket-book full of green stulling would suit her. Old Lady Why aro you two men using such frightful language? Hag son Tatters Well, lady, mo an' mo purd has to exchange boated words fur ter keep warm, uot bavin' no overcoats.