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VOL. XVII.
1'ITTSBOUO', CHATHAM CO., N. C MARCH 28, 1895.
NO. 31.
Mirk
if
(Lgi
Faith.
Dark at a dungeon my chamber
As, rising, I gropo my way
Slop hy stop to the window
'I'll nt faces (In1 faroft day.
black is tin' night tlint I sop not
I' von th'i window liars,
Xor. straining my vision uiiward,
Tlio p iKst glimmer of stars.
Xo faintest lire itli in tho brunches
Hurled in caverns of gloom i
Even the roto of tin- ocoan
Is linslieil ns tlio coming of doom.
Nothingness, iieihingnoss reignili
Aliovo mo, In icntli mid around ;
A limitless realm of blackness,
A fathomless limit of sound.
Unreal, un'.omuilo soomotli
Kvon thn spot whore I g'nn I ;
Lifting In trial before mo
My nndiHvrnihlo hail I.
And jot. bewildered ami I.afn.-.l.
On O'ns" ou it"s koop' th its swnyj
1 know, I am sure that my window
Faces tho far-off day!
-lUniiiKr McKwkn Kimuai.l, in lndoon-dont.
ONLY A SHOWER.
1!Y I.KIlill WBnsTKIS.
Herbert R.li-i fifnol into tlio
Fifth avenue stage nt Hleooker stroi I
one nftcnuMiti in tlio curly spring. Ho
ill.l not one how long it took him to
get uptown. For the last four days
ho had lost nil interest in life, iin.l
timo was no longer of imy importance
to him. Ho will yoiimr, ho wns lino
looking, li was n rising lawyrr; his
mother hail boon n Van K lissi laor
jot ho nut moodily gazing nt tho linn
lie of his umbrella, while t!r yours
soomeil to stretch uw.iy before him in
milirokoii weariness.
Ho iiotioc'l that it wns beginning to
sji inklo as tlioy iienrod twenty-third
street, iiinl thou Cornelia Winchester
came into tho stage mi l nit down il
roi'tly oijuisito him. Slio gave n little
start of confusion us ho gravely raisoil
his hat, n:ul tip n tuned her attention
fixedly out of tlio window. Herbert
hud cogitated n good deal over uhat
would be tho most trying way in whieh
to moot tlio girl who h id rjt eled him.
Xow that he sat opposite her in n Fifth
iivenuo stage ho did not know what to
do. He could not bolt. That would
hurt her t -nder herrt, it 1 1 In n ; li it did
not beat for him.
His eyes wore lifted no higher than
the hem of her heliotrope gown, but
ho saw that it was tlio same one bin:
hud worn that d ly nt Mrs. Yuugliiin
Smith's tea, when he beguiled her iii
to tho conservatory to sol' the violets.
She had Imped that they might al
ways be friends, mi l ho mount after n
while when he was a little more used
to it, to go and see her, just to show
her that he hud no feeling. Hut it wns
too soon ns yet for him to tiuil it easy
to see her again, mid In: thought ho
would leave flu Mage at the club. Tliat
would bo perfectly natural. Ho could
stand it until then.
If ho had looked at her fao. he
would have seen that she was not en
tirely at enso either. Her cheeks al
ternately flushed nn. I paled as she
gazed persistently out of tin: window.
Hut ho did not see that, as he lifted
his eyes no higher than the tip of her
patent leather shoe and the odgo of
that heliotrope gown. Ho was think
ing of her as she linked when they
went into tho conservatory that day,
with her golden hair coiled under ft
bewitching hat nil green leaves, mid
violets. Shesociind tho very incar
nation of spring to him.
The driver growled "Fare!" down
through his peephole. She started
consciously and took out her purse.
Hr vis-a-vis held out his hand with
"Allow me!" and tho purse slipped to
tho floor. Their eyes met ns ho restored
her property, and she blushed vividly.
Ho puzzled over this as ho took his
sent nguiu after depositing her fare.
Why should nho bo discomposed?
"Sho is sorry forme," ho thought;
"she is so sensitive. " Ho must got
out of this for her sake ns well ns his
own. Whore were they, anyway?
Only at Thirty-fourth street! Tho
rain was now coming down heavily
and sho had no umbrella! Ho could
uot get out, of course, unless he could
leave his umbrella with her. lint that
would look so odd. Very likely, by
tho timo they reached her street, tho
April Rhower would be all over. Well,
ho would ride on a little longer and
see.
Ob thoy went past Sherry's, where
he had danced with hor so often ; past
the club, whoro lie saw Hilly do I'eys
tor and Remington looking out Hilly,
whom ho had decided upon for his
"best man ;" on, up into the fifties;
St. Thomas', where thoy would nev.-r
be married now. The rain was falling
relentlessly. They were almost at her
street. Ho had decided what to do.
Ji.st before they reached Fifty
seventh street he bent forward.
"Miss Winchester, please tako my
umbrella;" and ho held tho silver
Iliad toward her.
How sho started! "Oil, no, no;
thank you ;" and hIio hurriedly pulled
tho Btruj), without giving him tima to
do it, nnd fairly sprang out of the
door. What could he do but follow?
As ho unfurled tho umbrella over
her head they woro on tho sidewalk,
ami ho isaid, inanely :
"You mustn't spoil your gowu, yon
know."
"Oh, I don't euro about that," she
said impatiently.
'ltut it's too pretty to spoil," he
went on. "I like that color particu
larly." She looked at him curiously. Her
eyes said. "I wonder if you remem
ber?" but her words wore ;
"lo you always notice tho color of
gowns?"
"1 always have of yours," ho said,
simply. He thought ho was getting
on beautifully in his role of friend.
They were walking along Fifty-seventh
street. She was wry near him under
the umbrella. Ho hoped ho would be
saved from saying anything that lie
that ho would regret afterwurd. For
tunately, it would not bo much longer.
"This is very kind of you after "
Sho ho-it'ited, and her voice was very
low.
"Not nt nil," ho ft, id in n cheerful
tone. "N'o one could have done any
thing else."
There was a moment's pause, and
then she said hurriedly:
"I'm glad of this chance to tell you
that I have reproached myself a great
deal since the other day, because "
"Oh, you needn't think of tint
again ; you were as kind ns you could
bo." Why would she talk nluiut it?
Kim went on: "You took mo so by
surprise that I'm afraid 1 was nbrupt,
and and 1 answered inconsiderate
ly "
"Oh, no," lie interrupted; "yon
were gentleness itself. I suppose 1
did startle you. 1 dalu't say anything
that 1 mount to. Perhaps a man never
does. "
"You know," the pursued, "you
h id never given in : miy reason to
think you cured for nn: in lint way,
and 1 till u feeling you were rpeuk
ing on impulse."
"Impulse !'' h : broke forth. "How
could you think ill it? Why, I've
never h d a thought for anybody else
sineo that day wo first met. F.very
case I've won h is been for you. I've
worked and lived just for tlu day when
1 could speak. 'Impulse!' fan n niiin
feel like that and not show it? 1
thought, of course, you understood
but " ho eheeke I himself "I beg
your pardon I ought not to go on in
this way only you see it wasn't 'im
pulse.' I made a great mistake, that
was all. You couldn't help that, of
course. It was my own fault. Hut
you needu't worry nny more it's all
right."
They were going up her atop now,
and he was holding tin: umbrella so
that a little stream of water was trick
ling down her back. She did not
seem to even notice it. Neither of
them spoke as ho pulled tho bell.
Then she turned a face in which shy
ness nnd despair were mixed.
"Hut it isn't 'all right' for me!"
Ho looked at her with such a be
wildered ga.o that sho laughed tre.nu
lotisly. "You don't understand now,"
she said, and then just as her moaning
dawned upon him tho April sun burst
out, the butler opotiod tho door and
they wont in together.
Hair (ironing in a Blanket.
William H. Forbes of Spencer Cor
ners, Fulton county, is the possessor
of a very old horse blanket, which
(lifters from its fellows in th it it has a
well defined coat of hair in various
singes of development, ulivo and grow
ing. While possibly of a liner and
silkier texture, it is an excellent re
production of a horse's coat, which
the blanket formerly covered.
Mr. Forbes first discovered this
pceulfirity in October last, whou tak
ing it down from the peg in tho barn
where it had hung undisturbed during
th'j summer. He was naturally greatly
astonished to discover two patches
of growing hair, one on either side,
where it had beeu exposed to the light
and air. Tno hair is of a bright bay
color, and is now an inch in length.
Probaldy the most peculiar feature of
tho affair, however, is tho fact that the
hair has spread from the two patches
until it has entirely covered tho blan
ket with a lino growth, varying in
shade ami color.
It has not only been subjected to a
critical inspection by several reputable
men, but has undergone a microscopic
test by two prominent physicians, of
whom Dr. Henry C. Finch of lirodnl
biu makes affidavit before Judge Gnrd
uer "that tlu hair now growing on
the blanket is true hair, and that the
roots of the sumo are alive and in
process of development." Albany
(N. Y. ) Times.
The Huge for (tiiniiio.
"Tho sale of quinine has increased
in Into years to such an extent, said a
druggist who has ono of tho largest
trades in this lin, "that it hasbecomo
n s'.nplo article in nearly every drug
store. It is being bought in bulk in
such large quantities in would surprise
you. (jtiiniuo has gained a popular
reputation by some means or other of
being a sort of cure-all. You can
hardly imagine tho various illnesses
which people are now Using it to rem
edy. Some arc foolish in the extreme ;
how the customers get such ideas ol
quinine's efficacy in treatment of some
sicknesses is more than I can say. Tho
salo of tho drug has been increasing
rapidly during tho last few years. The
two-grain pill is the one that sells tho
most. Three years ago our store sold
lO.OOi) of those, whilj this year the
amount will bent least 500.IMM. Tho
price, of course, has greatly decreased
in tho last decade. About ton years
ago, I remember, it s dd for nn
ounce; now it can bo bought in open
market iu 50 boiinoo lots for 2" cents
and at ono time it was dowu as low as
15 cents.
"People in lining ipiiniuo should be
careful thoy gof u good grade of the
article or that thoy are not being
fooled altogether. In many cays an
inferior product of tho cinchona bark,
from which quinine is m ido, is substi
tuted for the real article. It is a little
bettor than the cinchona bark and has
not nearly otie-thir I of the virtue ol
quinine. This is called eiiieliouidia,
and can be bought for from two cents
to four cents nn ounce, just a little
more than the bark itself. It is is so
good an imitation that the customer in
unable to tell tho difference, except
that the results will not be the same.
People should bo careful to get the
pure drug, and tho only giiiiriinteo
they can have is tho reputation of tho
man who sells it to them.
"Winter, when people are catching
colds, is the best season for the i-nlo ol
quinine, although the silo keeps up
well during tho entire year. A damp,
murky day is sure to bring the quinine
lb: lid to real z; that he needs some i f
his favorite remedy, so the miles on
those days nr.: always large." Pitts
burg Dispatch.
Flowers C.ioro.l While Von Wail.
Tho football rage is responsible for
a great in any oui-ioin tiling-', but it
seems to have its last spasm in the do
maud for flowers for decorations at
football parties and banquets. The
demand for orange and black and blue
and white flower has led growers ol
chrysanthemums and florists into
chemical research as to the possibility
of providing the desired colors. White
chrysanthemum! aro dipped in dyes of
different shades, and the experiment
of producing several colors in one
flower bus bo:Mi nnd: with success.
The naturalist nnd tho tp.thetic lover
of flowers can scarcely repress a shud
der of horror nnd disgust at tlio sight
of a chrysanthemum in Scotch plaid
or one with streaks of orange and
black or alternate petals of blue ami
white. Ringed, streaked, speckled
and spotted chrysanthemums will toon
become the order of the day.
It has been suggested that Tammany
tiger colors bo adopted for the next
conclave of the Tammany Society.
At present tho fad seems to run not
only to football colors, but to tho
matching of shades in dress and deco
ration. My lady may take a piece of her
last Paris dress to tho florist and give
tho order for flowers to match, all of
which may bo done while sho waits.
It has not transpired just how long ono
must wait, but as orders aro tilled with
a rush, it may bo that tho flower lends
itself readily to this monstrous bur
lesque o:i nature, and greedily ab
sorbs whatever is offered it, New
Y'ork Ledger.
The Olilrst Fire Department.
Tiie oldest lire department in the
world is that of Rome. Its history
dates back as far as 75',) A. V. C. Iu
Papal times tho commander of tho
corps belonged to the best Roman
families, such as the Origo, (iuetani,
tho Aldabrandini and tho Chigi. Don
Giovanni of tho Priuces Chigi was tho
commander of the corps in 1S70. Tho
actual servico is very good us far as
heroism and unselfishness can niuko it
so, but the organization is had. For
tunately fires aro rare. Last year
there wcro only 25S. Only eight were
nerious. Only two of tho firemen
were injured and none were killed.
New York Journal.
The Hoot nt the Matter.
She If you are really connected
with tho Vmi Rlewbludds, why havm't
you u family tree?
Ho (confidentially) Well, a-hom
to toll van the truth, our family is
only a bruueh. Puck.
CHILDREN'S CO LOIN.
Tin: i.ii ii.t; laiows i nn Kr.r that i.ivi.n in
TUB Al l..
Jois.i wont to tier grandma's last summer, in
dune.
And she stayed until Into in tlio fall;
Hut the very best friend Ilia' sho made wliilo
away,
Was tlio cricket that lived in tlio wall.
Tim littl" brown cricket that lived iu tho
wall,
As merry, as merry could !',
Ho dan I all tin- day and snug all th
night
Tle gayest of go-id eoinpiinle.
"Oooil bye, little eri.'kel," eried lio'll Ut
last,
"I'm sorry to le.iv you io !moii ;
Jtut do not forget mot I'm ''omin iiRiiin ;
I'm eomiiiK next summer in.lmi".
I wish I could bike you away to my Iioiio,
Hut you wouldn't enjoy it at all.
For there isn't a bit of a garden, y.ui c,
Nor a dear little li.Oe in tin1 wall."
As Iio.su nestle! that ni,-lil in hor bod.
She beard from her trunk in the hall
A U' or littl- "oreakity oreakity-ereak."
"l'was the cricket that lived in the wall.
Tho little brown cricket that lived in 111"
wal
Had tak"ii a journey . ynn see.
And ho iliiiiocl and ho "on akloit" the I0114;
winter throu
The gnyosl r.f gcml l ompanio.
- Sah M. (11 i m i l' in t. N'i' h .las.
W H AT A NI'..sT OK IIIIIDS WILL K .T.
Think of 11 bird's nest with live
young ones iu it. F.very young bird
needs, 011 the average, 50 caterpillars
a day, that makes 2"0 a day. The
young birds 1110 fed by their mother
for about thirty days, disposing of
about 7,500 cutorpillus. Kadi of these
pests gets its own weight in leaves 1.11 I
blossoms every day. If each of these
cutorpillus eats but one blosoiu n day
this represents the enormous loss of
l!25.000 blossoms, nnd suppose only
ten blossoms iu each K)J would have
ripened into a fruit, we would still
have 22,500 apples or pears less, but
for the nest of birds. Atlanta Jour
nal. Lin: is a r.vms school.
The large Paris schools are called
lyeees, or lvoeiiins, but the pupils re
fer to them as "boxes," and this is
not at nil surprising w hen you consid
er that the boys are shut up in schools
j 1st about ns if thoy were in a box or
a prison. They are al-o required to
wear 11 distinctive uniform, which is
usually of dark blue cloth, with gold
buttons and gold embroidery, nnd a
peak cap bearing the monogram of
the school ill front. They sleep in
dormitories, fifteen or twenty in one
room, and get their exercise mid re
creation in a gravelled court-yard in
the rear of the school buildings. This
yard is usually not very large and the
only games the scholars play are mar
bles, tops, and leap-frog or tag. There
is no football or basabuli or t'unis,
and even tho childish games they do.
indulge in are under the supervision
of a tutor. On Thursdays the boys
nto taken out for n promenade in
charge of a tutor, nnd they arJ
marched around th streets two by
two for an hour or more. Those hoy.
whoso parents live iu Paris, and those
who have friends iu the city, are al
lowed once in two weeks to visit their
friends and relatives on Sunday. i
course almost every boy cnu rake up
some sort of a "relative" for the sake
of getting out of the "box" occasion
ally, and thoso w itli imaginary rela
tives spend their time on the boule
vards eating cakes and seeing the
sights. This thoy would probably
not do if they enjoyed the liberty ac
corded to American boys, instead of
being confined for weeks iu t walle.l
yard,
Tho method of punishment is to
make a scholar write several thousand
lines ns a task, or to deprive him of
his Thursday walk, or to deprive him
of one or more of his Sundays out. A
minor punishment is inflicted by mak
ing tho boys stand up against tho wnll
of the play-ground nnd learn Latin
versos by heart during recess.
The working-hours are somewhat
longer than in America, because cer
tain fixed hours are set asido for prep
aration and study. For instance,
there is a recitation at eight o'clock
in the morning, thou a study-hour,
aud then fifteen minutes' recess, fol
lowed by an other study hour. In the
afternoon there are usually two recita
tion hours and 0110 study hour. All
studying is done in the class-room
under the supervision of a tutor, nnd
no talking is allowed. As a result of
this enforced silence the boys beeoipe
adepts in a sort of deaf-and-dumb
sign-language, and carry on lengthy
conversations which they would never
think of wasting time on if they might
say what they had to say out loud.
At four o'clock every afternoon the
boys line up in tho play-ground, and
servants pass along iu front of them
with baskets of bread and butter, each
boy helping himself to a slice its his
uru comes. Harper's Yuuujf Pcupla.
OCHAX TRAMPS.
Steamships That arc the Guerrillas
of the Sea,
Snllors Li-vl Clver-less Lives
Abuard the Dirty Nomad.
There is but one very peculiar fent
ui'e iu the ninritim ! life of every coun
try about which very little is generally
known mid that is the trump steam
ship, says the Hrooklyn Eagle. F.very
year numbers of steamers, soiiu: large,
some small, often ugly and dirty to
look nt, an I commonly cnlled tramps
from their readiness to go anywhere
nnd take a hand iu trade that happens
at the mum nt to promise a profit, ar
rive at and leavo our shores. These
ocean footjut Is are generally worn out
bulks, discarded by tho companies
who own them, and belonging to no
regular lino and identified with no
particular class of cargo, and are sent
out 11 a matter of speculation to pick
1111 what freight they can from port to
port, like 1111 old ainl worthless horse
turn :d out of tho regular past 11 ro to
find 11 living by the roadside, Thoy
nre guerrillas of the sea. Some of
them leave tin ir native countries
Knglan l, Norway, Germany an 1 Spain
a few mouths before their annual
tickets of insp 'cl ion expire, and re
in lilt away soiii'diiiies for years with
out undergoing a 11 'w survey and in
spection. )n suoh ships the boilers may
boon the point of explosion, the machin
ery may be a dingeroils ooiidit.oii, in
ii'lequfito in power to propel the ship
against great stress of weather; the
steering gear may be warranto 1 to jam
nt some critical moment; tiieir huils
may be in tho last stage of decay, nnd
perhaps their boats me not lit to flout
when lowered from tho davits, yet so
long as I In: vessel holds together and
alter leaving one port arrives safo at
another, no one grumbles except tho
crow, w hose 111 r iii joiiieiits are often
times such that they cannot lenvo the
vess 1 if thoy would, for care is token
to ship, if possible, only married men,
mid with an offer of allotment notes,
leaving half pay to their families, the: e
seamen must invariably liud sureties
that they will not desert the ship dur
ing the perio 1 agreed upon in the
ship's articles. There c .in he nothing
worse iu the way of ehcorlessness and
discomfort than life aboard such craft,
mid the hardships nil I grieviuiejs of
these seafarers are peculiarly grout.
After h iving been laid Up at Liver
pool or Glasgow for sum : time, orders
will be given to prepare the trump for
sea, Oil'sh" will start on a voyage
that will be extraordinarily zigzag.
Perhaps to commence with she goes
to Cardiff for 11 cargo of coal to otio of
the West Indian Island s. Arriving at
destination orders are given to pro
ceed to Kio, w her.1 tho Captain finds a
cargo of coffee for (! ipo Horn, from
w hence he proceeds t Shanghai or
Foochoo for a shipment of tea to San
Francisco or New York, if to the hit
ter port, perhaps there is another trip
to Itio, thence 11 journey to Antwerp.
Eventually t he ship gets buck home,
more or less tlio worse for h 'r journey
round the globe, and then, with n coat
of paint and n polish to such metal as
hhe may, this tramp is made to appear
to the landsman's eye a staunch and
good ship. Hcsides being able to carry
cargoes nnd freight nt much lower
rates than the ships of regular com
panies, the fact of their being able to
carry on other b isinosi give.i them a
still further opportunity to unfairly
compete with established lines.
The operating expenses of these
oeeiiii tramps are reduced to a very
low level. The coal consumption is
small, in many cases not over twenty
live to forty tons n day ; the crew is as
small ns possible, und the other gen
eral expenses are kept nt a minimum.
Oil the sea the tramp steamer is but
little like 1. Hluudi ing along with n
bud look-out, peilnps tioiio at nil, the
tramp is a terror to the owners ol
small sailing craft yachts, fishing
and coasting schooners nnd, taking
no notice of their lights, often crashes
into them, remorselessly sending some
of tho occupants to a watery grave.
Tho officers of mail steamers, h'.so,
profess great dislike t 1 the tramp,
which may be partly assumed and
partly real, for thev greatly dread a
Collision with sonu; bauly steered,
carelessly managed voss d heavily la
den with coal or iron or grain. The
question is, what becomes of all the
ocean tramps? Some are sold for coast
ing and up-river trade on the African
coast and other out of tho way places;
many are broken ui for (dd iron, but
the majority of them probable end
their career, so fur us any record ol
them is concerned, by being chroni
cled ill the dally papers as missing,
which means that they hive Anally
Buceuml i'J -o some peril of the sea.
Wars ( nosed by Trifles,
Many times it has happened that a
great and costly war lias been brought
about by nn incident trivial mid even
ridiculous, Bays Answers. Thus iho
war of tho Spanish succession is said
to have been caused through a ghu-s
of water. A lady, Mrs. Mashain was
carrying n glass of water, when she
was obstructed by the Marquis do
Torev. A slight scuffle ensued und
tho water wns spilled. The Marquis
thereat took offense and bad feeling
ensued between the English mid
French courts, with the ultimate re
sult that war was declared. The cam
paign cost France many severe bat
tles, vix. ; Blenheim, 1701; lbunillies,
1707; Oudeiiiirdo, Pos, and M.ilplu-
quel, 1700.
( biite as nl s'ird in its origin was tho
war that took place during the com
monwealth at Modoiiu. A soldier
stole a bucket from a public wdl b:
luliging to the State of 15 dogua. Al
though the value of the article did
not exceed a quarter, its annexation
was the sign d for a lierc" und pro
longed war. Henry, the King of Sar
dinia, assisted the Modeiiese to retain
tho bucket, and iu one of the subse
quent battbs ho was undo a prisoner,
the bucket is st. II exhibited iu the
tower of the cathedral of Mod-nn.
A third iustancj of a war nsulling
from a trifling cause, was that between
Lou's VII of France und Henry If of
England. Tho Archbishop of II men
decreed that no one should wear long
hair upon his head or chin. Louis
submitted to the decree, whereupon
his wife Eleanor, rallied him upon bis
appearance. A quarrel ensued, which
resulted iu the dissolution of the mar
riage and Eleanor's nnu'ringe with
Henry. Hy this marriage the broad
domains iu Normandy, formerly be
longing to Louis passed into the poss
ession of Henry. Louis, hotly in
censed, made an attack on Normandy,
and heneeforte, for nearly !I0D years
arose those bloody and devastating
wars, which cost France upward ol
:!,()00,t)0() of lives.
The Adhesive Piaster.
In one family where there are num
erous sid'-ahec"1, backaches, bruises
and sprains, the porous plaster hue
come to Inn recognized institution.
Its putting oil in generally accepted
with delight, but wh"ii it comes to the
taking otf, the "oh dears!" "don'ts"
and cries of pain urc many and em
phatic. Even utter the plaster is
pulled oil', there is 11 lay r of adhesive
gum on the skin that is struggled with
in all sorts of ways. S unet inies the
razor is employod for scraping; some
times a sharp knife is brought into
use, mid again a soft warm cloth is
pressed over the spot, and when this
has firmly attached itself tho peeling
process goes ou. Those who have oc
casion to use the application will find
immediate relief from their annoy
ance, if thoy will, after raising one
side of the plaster, wet the surface ol
the skin with alcohol, allowing it to
run down 11s the plaster is pulled a
little. If any of the gummy substance
remains, a bit of rag wet with alcohol
will c'ni.iso the sui fa "o ininiediut ly.
This, also, has another advantage in
tint tlio stimulating offi et of the aleo
ll d prevents any possible cold that
might be taken on nee unit of ihe re-
! luoval of the warm plaster. This is
but 11 trifle, but it make i usy some
thing that has always been a bugbear,
especially to children, and it is well
worth trying.
Haw To Warm Cold II anils.
The p s ngor on the front pint form
of the crowded ear was blowing ener
getically on his gloved hands.
"They 'pear to be cold," said the
driver, sympathetic illy. "Well, I'll
tell von how to warm 'cm. Don't keep
vmir gloves on when your hands get
cold. Take 'em otf right away. Then
double up your fist as tight lis volt cull
just m if somebody was trviti' open
vour fingers an' yiei wouldn't let 'em
-an' then ram your hands down 111
vour coat pockets. It'll s'prise you,
sir, b"W quick they'll get war.-.i. "
The passetiger imm -diatidy put tho
suggestion into effect. In a minute or
two he looked pleasantly at thu dri
ver. "It is wonderful," ho remarked.
"My hands are as comfortable now ns
I could wish." Washington Star.
The (ireeii Ur.
"I told her," she said, "to put some
thyme in the breast of the turkey on
t lis fust occasion of our having such a
fowl utter her arrival, nt the sumo
time handing her a hutuh of the herb
sufficient to last all the w inter. Chime.
' ing to enter tho kitchen later, 1 saw
I the bird ready 'for tho oven,' as the
girl told Me. It was nut drawn, and
I iu the breast she hud cvt a bole, una
I inserted the entire bunch of thyme us
I iicnrsagu bouquet." New York Mer
i eu ry.
V.i Cure l or Love.
Pnid I to a beardless youth
When a hopeless love befell mo;
"(live mo huhn for woo and ruth,
And the euro for lovn pray ti ll mo."
''Love is cured by love," sighed lie ;
"Would that mine were kind ti mol"
Ti ll nn.'. then." I asked a swain,
Happy iu a fair bride's glances,
'What will heal my sad heart's pain,
Pkrecil hy Cupid's Hying lances?"
"Can love, then be cured?"' cried lioj
'Would that mine may never bo!"
"Tell mo, sir, the euro for love,"
Kuid I to an old mini dying.
"I'ain would 1 your simples pmvo."
Faintly smili d lie while replying:
"fiealh ha; no euro for love," said ho j
"Would that mill" may follow 11113'.''
lU'MOIHU'S.
For family use Marriage license.
The Chinese soldier is a great sue
ci ss in the long run.
Down iu a coal mine A young
miner's lirst moustache.
Paradoxically speaking, the dude is
an object of wearing apparel.
A Frankfort man has written o farce
comedy culled "Vaccine." It ought
to take.
I.oa 1 ly What time of day wns
Ad.im tin- most lonesome? Moerly
Just before eve.
"I'll just lie in wait for the next
ninn that comes along," remarked tho
defect i vo weighing-machine.
Oldbuch 1 suppose your wife has
some favorite by-word? Loligwed
liny word? Yes. She spells it c-a-s-h."
Toper What, shall I lake, doctor,
to remove the redii 'ss of my nose?
Doctor Take nothing fur threo
months.
Jilson says marriage may bo a fail
ure, but the man who embarks in it
usually has to pay one hundred cents
011 the dollar.
Teachei When Robinson Crusoo
was cast 011 the island from whom did
h" get his clothes? Pupil From the
swell oil the beach.
The microbe wafted on the breeze,
X w makes liis annual trip.
And when the folks begin to snoe.o,
Wo know he's brought his grip,
'('holly pursued a number of studies
at college, didn't he?" "l'es. Ho
pursued Yin, but 1 don't think he ever
caught up with any."
"There is one advantage about hav
ing insomnia," says an uptown opti
mist. "Your wife can't go through
your pockets while you are asleep."
Watts What do you think of this
idea that there are medicinal virtues
in music? Potts I believe it. Lots
of these popular airs niako me sick.
Miss H aid Have you "Prometheus
Unbound?" Miss New Clerk No,
we do not deal in any pamphlet liter
ature, all our books have covers 011.
He I'm sure 1 don't know f, hat to
siiy to hi 111. She Just sny to him,
"Mr. Norris, I wnnt to marry your
daughter," and then papa will say the
rest.
Little Hoy Perkins, our new coach
man, says England is his mother
country. Is it yours, too? Gardner
No, bejabers; its my shtcpuiotlier's
country.
Miss IVrt -Is Miss Strait Lneo cir
cumspect':" Miss Caustic- -Circumspect!
Why, sho won't accompany n
young man on the piano without a
chaperon.
"I hear the lightning rod agents
have formed 11 union." "Yes, and it's
suro to cause trouble." Why so?"
Hccuisc they are always talking about
u si like."
lb' wa a w fully grooii when I10 mot hor,
And didn't know- what to do.
lb saw another chap Ret hor.
And then h was awfully Muo.
Mr. Hojack (at dinner) My dear,
isn't it very queer for you to serve
soup alter tho beef? Mrs. Hojack
Not at all, love. This is ox-tail soup,
it comes last.
Hruee I paid a man 10 today for
carrying my overcoat. Hagley Isn't
that an extravagant price? Hrace
Oh, I don't know, lie had carried it
t nice last spring.
Master (to class) Now, Jones, tell
1110 how many seasons thoro are?
Jones -Two. Master Only two.
Name them. Jones The racing aud
the football seasons.
"Y'ou seem excited, dear. What
lias happened?" "l'oor Jack Murray,
I have just rejected li i in. "Oh, dont
mind a little thing like that. Why I
reject him every six months."
Asker I'm going to give my wife a
book, and 1 wonder what kind sho
would like. Hasker If she is any
thing like my wife a pocket-book full
of green stulling would suit her.
Old Lady Why aro you two men
using such frightful language? Hag
son Tatters Well, lady, mo an' mo
purd has to exchange boated words fur
ter keep warm, uot bavin' no overcoats.