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aitjatljaw fUrori).
Ill A. LONDON,
EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR,
KATES
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VOL. XVII.
PITTSBOIU)', CHATHAM CO., N. C, MAY 2, 1805.
NO. 30.
Tlirco Kisses of Farewell.
Throa, only thros, my darling,
Suppurate, solemn, slow ;
Not llku tliu swift ami joyous onea
Wo tisod to know
When wo kissed bocniiHo wo lovod eairh othr
Biiiiply to tusto love's sweet,
Ami lavished our kisses as tlio siiiumor lav
Ishod liciit.
But ns they kiss whose hearts nn wrung
Wlinulioio n.inl four nr spent
Ami nothing Is Inft to give exoopt
A sieiriiiuoiit.
First of tint tliroa, my darling,
Is sucred unto puiu ;
We havo hurt ouch, other often,
Wo shall again.
When wu pinnbimausi) wi! in i m onnh otlmr,
Aud do not understand
How tlio writti'M words urn ho inueli colder
Tliau eyo or hand.
I kiss tln'i', dour, for all hui'Ii pahi
Wliii'h wo may give or take ;
Hurled, forgiven before it comes
For our love's sake.
Tlio second kiss, my darling,
l-i full of joy's sweet tlirlll;
Wo luivo blessed imi-Ii other ulwa a;
Wo uhv.iy wl I.
Wo shall ri'iii'K until wo oa-li otli t,
Past nil of tlm and spurn ;
Wo shall listen till w li"ar each other
In every il;nv.
Tin' enrlli Is full of in-'ss -aigers,
Whii'li lovo sends to ami fro;
I kiss tho-, darling all f ir joy
Which we sli ill kn iw.
Tim last kiss, (), my d.i-llu -;,
My love, I e i u 1 1 it ii"o
Through my tear, in I riMiiomb-'r
What it limy l.
W may di"d and never s mi isi h other.
1 lo with no time to giv.i
Any sign that our licurtsnru failbful
To die, as live.
Token of what they will not see
Who sin our purling l-ro:i llh,
This one last kl-i my darling. ne.il i
Tliekhsof dentil.
Sixr. IIoi.mi.s.
RIDING TO DEATH.
My 11:11110 is Morgan ( rrcnohlc uud
today I lmvo reached tlm fiiriiing )ii)int
of my thirtieth year.
People Hay that I look "mill," with
nlmu.it mimv white linir, ami wonder
bow it e line to In thim in one ho
young.
Eight years ngu, com : the '20lh of
this Very month, I Mood at tie) ultur
with Laura Coinstoek.
I wan a telegraph operator mid was
btiitioitcd nt Wuyburg, a station twen-
tv in i leu from Stockton, met at the
terminus of lie) t lien . If. A (!. It.
railway.
Ket limine; from our lioiii'viiiiinii I
loft my wifu in Stockton nn.l proceed
oil to Wayburg, inteinlin;; to remain
lit my old post until relieved, which I
thought would 1)0 in a few days, an my
offered resignation had liecn accepted
at headquarters.
Tlm engineer on tho "up" train was
Mark Moore, a rather handsome youii
fellow, who had lieeii in v rival for the
band of thu woiuui I cilloil my wife.
When the tram Mopped at Moro-
lmiil's I alighted from the pussongei
coaeb and walked forward to the en
pine. Mark was busily engaged oilin;:
the machinery.
"How are you, Morgan?" be Mii
nt ho espied m , and held out his
hand.
His disappointment seemed to h ivo
loft him and he was very pleasant.
"Ooiiig to Wayburg?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Just not in with me, then," ho
said,
I replied that 1 would d no, and
when the train moved away I was oc
cupying n neat in the engine, chitting
with tin; engineer.
"Ono hardly notices the aseent, but
tho descent is an entirely different
thing. I was thinking, Mor gun, what
n torribh; thim; it would hit if an en
gine, with full power on, wero to hc
oomo unurina ;ealil.. nt tho tip of tile
gnulo and dash itway."
I shuddered.
"And if a in in bent on reven re wero
to place u fellow creature bouu I on
tho engine, what u terrible dettli he
would liastoii to, with iluiost lightning
rapidity."
'Suppose the engine should en
counter the C--- p.iss"llger?"
"Then death would apre.id liis wiuga
over tho pot of th collision."
I bad uo desire to pur.su i tho con
versation further, but ho per listed in
it, mill I was greatly relieved w hen tho
train ran into Way burg.
Tho following night was dark and
tempestuous, and I alone o 'cupied the
elation, watching the little machine
before me.
That day a new engine bad arrive !
mid Mark Moore bid been put in
charge of it.
From two o'clwek in the alternoou
to 1'ivo 1 Maw him moving about tho en
gine. I'ntil ten 1 watched the litll.. in i
chine. Then Mark opened the door
and steppe. I into the small apartmeii',
"Are you nc'iviug n dcipatoh,
Morgan?" ho asked.
"No, Mark ; why do you ask?"
'lleeauso if yon are not I wish you
yould leave the clicker a bit and come
and look nt my Rod Rird by lnntorn
light. I nm going to run down grade
to Chalmers, rovcrso tho engine and
run buck. Tho train will not bo due
hero for nit Lour, and I cau go to
Chalmers and return within twenty
miiiutoc."
We wnlkcd into tho groat temporary
shed whero tho new and beautiful en
gine Mood, ready to run off at tho
command of its innMer.
"I dure not bo ho long absent from
my post nt this hour, Murk."
"Poob, man, thoru'u no danger.
You miiHt go with me."
"Hut I cannot, Mark."
Uo put bin lantern on tho ground
mid then Hprnug erect.
"You mIiiiII, Morg (irenobb; !" bu
cried, and before I could answer him,
ho daahed mo to tho earth and planted
bia Kiioch on my breast.
"Not a word out of yon, Morg," bo
naid, iieioly, producing a rope. "I'll
toll you what I'm going to do. You
know wo were diHcusailig tho conse
ipieiieo attending the rush of n tad
ileiied engine down tho grade. I reck
on I won't go to Chalmers, but will
wend you clear to tho bottom of the
grade."
"Murk Moore, you are mad," I naid.
"Would you murder me in cold blood
mid others who are coming up oil thu
I I. Ill pIlKHOllgel ?"
"Yen," bo Biiid coldly.
I might have roaiMe 1, but resistaiice
would have availed inn nothing, for I
whs constitutionally weak while bo was
a lion.
'Now for tho rido to death I" bo
cried, lifting mo up and bearing mo
into tho little engine room.
Again 1 pleaded for mercy; but an
well might I have pleaded to Htonc,
fur ho met my prayer v ith taunts.
"What will it profit you, Mark," I
asked, "to wreak your vengeance on
? The hoiiu.ls of justice will run
you to earth, and you will Buffer for
your crime.
'What care 1?"
'Then !" ho mid, nt last, na lie
closed tho furnace door, "livery thing
is ready for your ride. You'll go
right through Stockton; but I reckon
you won't have time to Mop to speak
to loving Liura. (ioodby, Morg;
write when you got to the foot of the
rude."
The engine was moving and bo leap
ed otK
'May heaven luiv.i mercy on your
soul, Murk Moore!" I Mioutod after
bint.
The grade between Wayburg and
Chaliuers wim quite uteep, aud before
I reached tho little town the tqccd of
tho lied Itird mi l iU teud'r seemed to
rival that of the t.degraph.
Tho towiia, with their glimmering
lielits, appeared and were gone in a
flush.
Th ) manner in which I :h bound
permitted me to look out of the wiu-
iw.
I did so, and Stockton, tho homo of
my wife, greeted ino with its many
lights.
Ahead, I saw many people waiting
for the 11.10 passenger.
The next moment 1 wm carried past
them.
I saw their astonished fuees, and
heard a piercing ahriek.
I recognized tlm voie i as my wife's.
There was one hope for me just
one.
Perhaps the operator at Stockton
h id telegraphed down the grade, and,
thus warned, the coming train would
Hwiteb, and nave its passenger from
loath.
I,. Hiking out, I saw far ahead the
aring headlight of the Houtheru
tiiiin.
To mo it looked na th ni ii it Mood
on my truck. l.v:d tit ly the tram had
not been warned.
Suddenly I heard a mill about,
Stand I nek !" and th-ii, crash! oil
is d u k !
Is ho injured much?" somebody
asked.
Sympathizing facs bent over me,
and ii surgeon wis examining my
wounds.
The ties stopped the engine," mul
the mrgeon. "We received u tele
gram iroiil moi'Moii, luiorming us
that the new engine was rushing down
the grade. I he Koiitheru train was
switched off upon itH arrival here, and
e set to w ork to pile iuiiuiueralilo ties
the trae', which, thank heaven,
becked vmir mad career."
"1'elegrtph lo Sto.'ktou," I said,
lo my wife."
It seemed as though every bono in
my l oiiv was uroKeii, him i e tnnot icii
iw 1 ever fcvirvive I through the pros
ation tint fo'lottc I.
I '.ut I del, to I'm I niv hair rivalling
the Npotb'Ks puritv of the snow, and
ow'h feet on mv voilthful forehead.
My rival was never tried, for the
third day following his arrest ho was ;
conveyed to an asylum, n uopcless
maniac. llostou (Hobo,
A Samson's Powerful Tug.
Tbo examining nurgeons of the
Sixty-fifth Regiment, New York Na
tional Guard, recently foiiud a Suiiihoii
at Ihifl'ilo. Among tbo candidates ex
amined wiih Rert Jtartrain, a cartman,
about 32 yours old. When bo Lad
stripped for tho examination ho bat on
a chair and asked tho physicians to
stand on bin ankles. Ono Mood on
ench niikle, and then, apparently with
out nny great effort, Dartrum raised
bis legs until they stood like parallel
barn, uud held tho doctors in the air
for two minutes. Four Hebrew clerks
ill a wholesale clothing house found
this Samson u week curlier. They
know that ho prided himself on his
strength uud put up a job on him.
Ho gets tho wages of two men on
account of bis groat Mreiigth.
Jhirtrum was delivering Home heavy
cases ut tho clothing house uud lifted
the eases on nud off tbo dray without
tho aid of flkids. Ono of the clerks
pointed to a big ease on the Hour and
asked Iturtriiui if be could lift it. They
told him it held 7UD pounds of cloth.
He offered to hot. that ho could, and
agreed to return as soon as ho bad de
livered tho other piekugcs on tho
wagon and do the trick for tin in.
While be was gone the young men
emptied tbo cane, drove four long
nails through the bottom of it into
the lloor, uud went into the cellar and
clinched the nails. Then they returned
the goods to the box uud waited for
Itartram. He appeared at. the ap
p linted time, strode over to the case
uud took bold of it. It didn't budge.
"Sure there's only 7U0 pounds in
it?" said he.
The four young men assured him
that that wns all it contained, mid
then offered to bet him that be could
not lift it. Ibirtrmn put up $20 against
'20 raised by the four clerks. Then
he removed his eoat, fastened bis big
bauds on the case, gave a powerful
tug and tbo ease ruse in tbo air with a
crackling of timber and a cloud of
dust. Six square feet of tho lloor
came up with tlm box. Itartram
pocketed the money and after reprov
ing the young men for the attempted
frnud went away. The carpenter bill
of H was paid by the crestfallen
clerks. N'ew York Sun.
Lesson From the Par Kust.
In Japan there lives a native scholar
and w riter th in whom no oir.i bus done
more toward introducing education
and civilization into his country. Ito
poatedly ho has refused both titles
nud remunerative ofliccs.
This man had never sought for
wealth, but he hud acquired during a
long life of usefulness a moderate
sum for bis Mipport iu later years
about ten thousand dollars in our
money- When thu war with China
broke out, ho at oneogavo this money
to bis government as bis contribution
toward the war expenses, saying that
individuals must make sacrifices for
the causo of patriotism.
This i plendid example of lovo for
the native land illustrates the intensi
ty of the patriotic spirit in Japan.
The general absence of this unselfish
ness in China has been ono cause of
her defeat. Office has been used to
satisfy personal greed. Tho govern
ment has been feared and cheated, not
lovod and i.trcugthotied.
A Japanese student in this country,
talking with mi American, said naively,
"In Japan I was a Christian; here
I do nut know what I urn. I do not
understand your young men. They
do not want to do anything for tho
country. They want to iiiuko mouoy,
or get in Congress, or marry rich
wnlows and go to Pjaro pe. In Japan
every young man wants to do toiue
thiug for tho country."
Devotion to the general good, ear
nestness in advocating what ia for tho
interest of all rather than for thut of
the class or individual, willingness to
give one's own tim j and trouble to ad
vance needed reform-- these aro qual
ities that should be universal. In them
lies the hope of the future. Y'outh'u
Companion.
Tit for Tul.
Customer (who lias made n collection
of soino of the choice candies iu the
store) Now, if you will wrap these
up, I'll take them home, examine
them, and let you hear from me. j
Confectioner (astounded) Why,
man alive! 1 can't stand that ! I
Customer - Can't stand it! Why,
voiir wife comes up to my dry-goods I
store about twice a week and does the
sumo thing with my diy-goods. Puck, j
KN Advantage.
Iusty Donovan You're do most '
reckless m U I ever seed. If dat dog
'ltd bit yer, yer might 'a' got the
hyderfobia! I
Saturated Sam (ecstatic illy) Dat's
wot 1 want. Wh -n yer h is d it, Dusty,
nobody dist offer water ter yer, uuy
slinjo er fiTml Puck,
tHIMIllFX'S roi.ni.
riXI.TAI.L:!.
ruffiy-willow hail a secret that tho phot-
drops whispered her,
And she purred it to the south wind wlii'e
it stroked her velvet fur;
And then null wind liuuiuied il suflly to the
laisy lioiiey-liees,
And they liu..i'd it to the IiIoshuiih on the
searh't maple tn.-os ;
And these dropped it to the wood-brooks
brimming full of melted snow,
And the brooks told Holiln Iteilbri-ait, iw they
chattered to and fro;
I.lttlo Itobiu could not keep it, so he fling H
loud ami clear,
To thesleepy llelds an t meadows, "Wukn up!
cheer up! spring W here."
Youtli's Companion.
A I.1TTI.H I'll AT Its "THAT."
"That" is a m e -hs iry word, but it
is ono of the mist uhucd, ill-imed
words in our language, so often being
placed in sentences, both written mid
spoken, when entirely superlluoui'.
"I hear the presidolit of Fru ioe has
resigned."
"Yes, Unit's so.; aud I heard that
that queen of the S mdw ich Iduinls
with that queer name that I can't pro
nounce, bus abdicated."
Of course this is an exaggerated
specimen of the misuse of the word,
but it serves us an illustration.
Did it ever occur to you that (there,
I'm using Iho condemned word!) it is
possible to form u sentence containing
six successive "lhnts?" It can be
done, but I must confess it is not by
nny means elegant I'.iiglish. Here is
a sample, uud I should like to see
some of yon Merry Tuners purse it :
Jim said that that "that" that that
man Used was a conjunction. This
caused tho children to call Jim the
"t'uit boy."
Then Sum said that that "Hint" that
that "that boy" parsed wns a pro
noun. 1 once beard it asserted thai seven
"Hints" in succession might be used,
but I never bad the "lliatisfaetiou" of
seeing it tried. Detroit Free Press.
llK'YCMNO.
To b arn the "mount" take your
iniieliine by the bundles, give it u run
ning push, place your left foot on the
step, uud, rising from the ground,
in it i 1 1 1 ii i 1 1 your balance us long as pos
sible in thut position without attempt
ing to gain the Huddle. After trying
this a ibi.eii times or more, try to
take your seat in the saddle, not with
a spring, but slide in easily, and do
not let your body lean forward or you
may pitch over tbo handles.
A beginner should have his saddle
set well back on the spring. Although
this position gives less power, it is
much safer.
In going up hill lean well forward,
mel transfer tho entire weight from
the saddle to tbo pedals. Do not be
ashamed to dismount iu going up bill,
but do so in every case rather than j
exhaust yourself. !
In going down lean back us fnr iifl I
possible, mid keep your in lehiiio under
control. A little practice in hack- l
pedaling, or pushing imain- t the pedal j
tit it comes up ruthor thin as it goes ,
down, will enable you to take your
machine down very steep hills at or- ;
diuary walking pace. If your machine !
does escape from your e uiti ol, throw
your legs over the bundles, nud i
"coast," us you are lest liable to get a
bad fall while in this position than in 1
any other. i
Keep lo the right of road as much j
us possible. Alwuys keep to the right ,
when you meet a team, foot passenger,
or other bicycle, and in overtaking
any of these ulwuvs pns to tho left. I
Dismount mid walk past nny horse
that becomes frightened at your
bicycle. ,
Always carry a light when riding nt j
night.
He careful not to use your w bistle or j
bell more than is necessary, otherwise
you will become a nuisance, and as
such will not bo a welcome addition to
the ranks of wheelmen. j
lieineiuber that while you havo i
rights for which you nro bound to j
stand up, others ltuvo equal rights j
which you tire equally bound to re- ;
speet. j
111 selecting n bicycle, bo sure that (
it lit i you perfectly. Do not gratify
a mistaken ambition by trying to ride ;
u wheel that is too large for you. Tho j
larger tho wheel, th more difficulty
you will find in driving it up hill.
As soon as you ow n a bicycle, ninke
yourself familiar with every part of
it, mid e-pecinlly w ith nil of its adjust-
incuts. i
,1 I.: I . I
.Never lenn your oicvete.
Always ch an and adjust it yourself.
If it gets broken, send it to none but
a lirst chiMs machinist for repairs.
Detroit Free Press.
Iu prep'iriiig his father's biography
Lord 'i' inysou will bo obliged to
ron4 about 00,000 lettora.
MADCAP BISMARCK.
Impetuous and Roystering Boy
hood of tho Great German,
To Win Ilia Wlfo Biicamo Swlato
as a Judgo..
In his youth liismurclc was terribly
wild. "The mad llisinarck," his neigh
bors called him. Drinking, lighting
and horseplay seemed to be bis solo
amusements. Ho would till hirt ances
tral homo ut SchooiihuuHcn with guests
ami insist that no oil..- should rise from
tho supper table until sunrise was ut
hand. Then those who wero rubor
enough would go to bed, aud those
who wore not sober enough would
bleep under the table. Kinuareli, the
heaviest drinker of all, would remain
sober us u judge, mid would iimusit
himself, after bis guests hud retired,
iu firing pistol bullets throiijh the
b-'drooni doortau I frightening the in
mates almost to deiith. At other times
he would go riding about the country
like the wild horseman himself, pimp
ing ditches mul fences, and spurring
bis horse through places whero no
other man would dare go.
"Once," be says himself, "I was
riding with my brother, he iu ad
vance. Suddenly bo heard u crush.
He turned, uud lo ! it was my bead
that hal struck the ground. The sad
dle was broken, but my bend wasn't.
On another oecuiion while riding
through the brushwood in a forest I
lost o Miseiousiies-; uud lay for three
or four hours before I eiiino to. When
the doctor examined my hurts he t-uid
that it was contrary to all professional
rules that I hud not broken mv in ek.
Iu view of his impetuous character
and eccentric manner of life, it is not
si range that when he asked for the
band of Praiilcin Joan von Piiltknmer
iu marriage her parents bluntly re
fused him, He wm still very young,
uud they preferred to wait years to
hoj if be would abandon his reckless
habits. Bismarck, however, did not
propote to wait. Marry Friiulein
Jon u he would whether her parents
wero willing or not. S ) In visited
her every day, biking no notieeof her
family's rebulV-i. He knew that she
loved him, mid that sufficed. This
btilto of things however did Hot lust
long. "See here, Herr von 1 utt
kumer," exchiiiued Hisniarck ono d iv,
"why do you refine to let in-) have
your daughter?"
"llecause, Herr von Himarck," was
tho reply, "you are not tit to be any
woman's husband. You ride and light
all day uud drink mul bWeur nil night.
Your life is u scandal to tho country.
llisinarck looked ut him in silence
for a mom nit nud then roared out:
"Dounerwetter ! Is that nil? Hat it
is absurd. Couio, and give her to me
uud you will see mo us steady and
sedate us n bishop. Come, I swear
it!"
Sincerity win stamped on the young
man's countenance and words, ami
Herr vou Puttkumcr I'm illy gave his
consent to the marriage, thou ;h Hot
without misgivings, liisinarck, how
ever, kept Ins word. He wrote to his
sister, "All l ight," in Kuglisb, to let her
know tint his suit was successful ; and
he bought a Itiblc. Wild riding and
all-night drinking bouts had no attrac
tions for him any more. He became
tl sober and pious man mid a tender
mid uff'eet innate busbaud mid father.
New Orleans Pieavune.
Yew York City's Wculth.
The assessed value) of real estate in
New Y'ork and of buildings upon mil es
tate is ubout 51,t'itm,00(l,tltH. The value
of personal estate bunds, bank shares,
stock, cash, fixtures, furniture, vehi
cles, and similar effects is ubout
S',fii0,000,00;. Under an ordinary con
Btruetiou of the law there should be u
complete assessment of both mi I each
would bear u fair tliare of the lend 'ii
of city expenses. This, however, is
not feasible because while the real es
tate, being tangible, is easily assessed,
the personal esiat ) e muot be got at
by the c immissiouers except by esti
mates. The wealthy man, who hoi Is
in a strong box in a bank securities of
which there is no formal record can
not be compelled by any law t." clear
ly de-close tho extent of his posses
sions. Kxemptions mid offsets are
many, ami so the total amount of the
personal estate assessments falls far
short of tlio iiclu il total. Instead of
being '.0 ,(iH),tit), last i-ur it was
only $;UM,IMi).iMl. The year before
it was SlTO.lMtl.miH. Tbo extent to
w hich sweiirm-.: off' or e-otceal incut (
persoual properly is cu rie I may be
shown readih bv the lielouinr lucls:
In the year IS'.M there were 2!. 7 ." as
sessed personal property owiier-t in
New York Of these 1 1.C.l.t. ,-r abo.M
half, claimed exemption or a r 'due
lion, uud 11.70M of them were ublo to
fiiiMuiu their claim before tho .oi.il lis
fiioners. 'thus only 18,000 of the '20,
000 assessments stood. Atlaittu Journal.
IIIIikIiicss on Hie Ini lt ase.
The startling iiniioiineenii lit is made
that while the population of Missouri
increased 100 per cent the number of
eases of blindness incretised .ViO per
cent, mid that this proportion ex
ceeded tho showing of any other State
iu tho Union.
Statistics show that blindness is on
the increase iu this country, nut w it b-
standing the greater knowledge and j
skill in treating the many iilleetioiis
wii:cli toiiii to destroy sight mm inn ,
ii in 1 1 1 . facilities now ali'or.bd nil classes
of persons iu the cities in tin wuy of
iiiliriuuries and free di.-.pi .-usuries, for j
cu ing for the various din u-ci of the' i
eye. This increase of percentage of
bliiu'iie.ss picvails throughout the
United Stales, but is much gre iter iu
some of the Western States.
Ill Missouri the lad official I'eturil l
show mi alarmingly iuci'i ii icd ratio ol
blindness over tho lint ci.ii.-iii. I'.ye
discuses and blindness lire lure mining
primitive people who know none o!
the vices of civilization. Practically
put, a large percentage, perhaps lit
least tweiitv-tive or thirty per ci ut id
blindness is preventable. Th i two
potent causes that oje l'iite ngailii.t pre
vention, leaving to the m-ira list Mi l
the Christian reformer the correction
of the condition, inducing the ii -k ,
tiro ignorance on t ho p u t of the af
fected llild neglect, often combined
with iguurulic ', on the p ut of the nt
telldulit. - St. Loiii., Post-Dis patch.
Moving to the Farm-..
I'lfti-i n eirloads of "newei in Is"
with their stocks of fai'iniii"s iiiinle-
inenls, were brought into one Kansas
town recently. These "newe nie r"
will scatter about the couiitiy nir-
rounding the town mid will live upon
bums. Jen years ngo nearly all the
strangers w ho c-itn to Kansas settled
in the towns. Tho towns were built
up until they wero far ahead of the
country. When the boom collapsed
there was nothing left for t'ie towns
to fall back on. The farmers who had
been the mainstay of the towns had
moved into town themselves, and the
farms hud jollied thospeeiilutilig boom
mul b. m-lit more laud than they could
liniiiiige.
Things went from bad to worse.
The livc-ycnr lnol'tgiig-s made at the
beginning of the boom, mid the three
yeur mortgages inadeiit the end of the
boom, all came iu 'OH. There was no
way out. So Kami is tried to 'Vruw
lish" out. That failed. For the hist
three yenrs Kansas h.is been paying
the debts. The "n- u c oner ,"' h ive
been going to the f irm-. The iiirnis
will iucreiii:! iu n ii lit in the farmers
increase in nniub r. K-iii-.hs is rapid
ly coming out of tho "niuks." Kan
sas City Star.
Hearing I'iuuN (.'row.
Idle farmer who ll-ed to louse bis
sous and dan-liters in lie- inoiiiiii-r by
calling out to tlu ui : "Wake up uud
In ur the grass grow," little divunu d,
p -limps, that the time Would cone
when it would be among the po.lbll
ities actually to hear th' growing of
vegetation ; but this sound may now be
made audible to ordinary ears by
menus of the microphone. A wire is
attached to a pencil by one olid, the
other is conducted to a drum covered
with platinum foil of u . i-eeic.l not.
This platinum is so m run-red as to
complete the circuit of a galvanic bat
tery with mi electric bell attachment.
This bell is made to rite; by the glow
ing id the plant, and continues ring
ing while the growth covers the width
of the strips in the platinum drum
cover. If thei-i! stripes are uirauged
withspaecsbetwe. il, the bell i . sih lit
uutilthepla.it bus ennui oVi the
space nud even with the next sirip. An
apparatus ol this sort u not lend to
construct and would form a m in
teresting and iti-truc he ad r.tion to
scientific experiments in s,-h. ol oi
college classes. N. w York la d or.
A Close Kesi iiihl ine '.
"There are s-uuc point . eh. nil yoiii
writing- that much rc-emble Shake
pe n e" said t h-1 editor.
"Divo'i think so?" cued th - de
lighted author, who hid bro-ig i! bis
contribution in with Ii s own leu d.
"Yis." th" editor e iunnu d ; "vou
employ almost the suuo punctuation
nun k-." Il ickhiiiibMi-. ) Ti 1 1 -it i . -,
Huts and ( row-. Protected in .lap in.
Nil lire's scaveiig is clow, tnni
rats a 'e not only tolerated I II. pio-
teetedui I ipau. Squ -using rags scuny ' plettsant-nialiiiered gentleman stepped
thron-b the frail hms -, half- aiiio 1 out on the platform and, taking iu t
crows put t!i 'ir head i iu an o,.en w n long brea'h of the fresh sir, entlnisi
dows mid inquire: "Caw?" mu -It us ! ustically observed to tho lirakemun:
if they would ask: "Am thing I r-dav'' j "Isu't t bis invigorating?" "No, sir,"
No? All right!" They are the I nz- said tho man, bluntly, "it's 'Cut-za'-di
of the city aud country. mouut Creek.,' "
A Time for AH Tliiiiirs.
Tiier- is a time for all things.
'J hi- bud and then Iho bloom,
('nine forth s ) fair to o '-nl the i.ir
Willi Aready's perfume.
There Is a time for nil things
Th- Hi',w lias given place
'lo sunny skl" and joy line li-e
la Nature's laiigliiie f.i
Then! is a time for all tilings.
(iriin Winter'. fur mvav,
And till il eome n trnco t , L'lo.-m
Jio glad that (spring's to-day'
I " "
IIOIOHOCS.
! -
A highly perfumed voun"? lady
j myrrh-maid.
A Philadelphia scholar says parrots
speak in pollysyllables.
A in in is most likely to get into a
brown stuly when he's blue.
A y jut il ivl'usod to study nrit liuiet ii!
for fear he would bo disfigured lor
life.
What is love? It is a feeling that
you don't want another following
around her.
Customer Do you know anything
that is good for baldness? Harbor-
j Did you ever try a wig sir?"
Customer --There's u chicken iu this
egg. Winter - Of course there is.
What did you expect a duck.
"Is young Jiinkius improving in his
violin work ?" "I duiiiio. Kit her bo's
inipioviu or we're gettin' used to it."
French American (translating his
Hible for mi American friend) '1 he
ghost is willing but the ment is weak.
Say boy -Amy is such u nice girl,
(biyboy (former initor for Amy's
hand) Yes, uud she's got a liiee father
to boot.
lie My views on brin.iing up a
family She Never mind your views.
j I'll bring up the family. You go and
i bring up the conl.
I Citizen Who gets tie: first news of
j u lynching in yoiii untry? Arizona
: Jvto -The fellow Unit gets strung up
jr,.H all I lie noo.-le there is.
I Lmwer Then I understand you to
'...,., .. ;,.. .,,, , .11(il,K ,.,....
'to high words? Witness-No, sir;
I wot I i. ay is, the wolds was particu
larly low.
Hoarding House Keeper These me
holm -made sausages, Mr. Picker.
"Yes, Mrs. Hoai'duin, I know it
They tasto exactly like the hush we
bud yesterday. "
I Maud That Suuttlcti gill ia wildly
, infatuated with her new chum, that
: Molly Jamesby. What does it mean,
I wonder? Mndgo -It menus Hint
i Mollv has a brother.
1
Mis. Newbridgu (inhardware store)
My husband told me to price your
lawn mowers, but lawn teciiisso cheap
and coinuioii ; ha eu't you got any.
thing iu s-ll. or sati'i?
"The bri.h,- tup.ilv fainted during
the ci lemioi) mul hud to be supported
by her hither until it was over." "Yes,
uud now 1 In ur that her father is slip
porting both ol them."
" by d ' you oppose Mr. Dins
lm's attention to Sur.ie?"hiud Mrs.
Cawker to In r husband. 'P.-eiinse I
tiiii exli'i-me'y anxious for her to mar
ry him," was i;,; it-ph.
Miss CaiiMnpie I hope you'll ct:l
often during my sojourn In re. 'oi
remind mo so much of b.uite. Mi.
lvifaee Indeed! How so. Misi
Caiisliquo So homely, you know.
"I don't see how i ou dure trust
yourself tvi young Dr. Pills. He hti-n'i
uny patient-
" Hint's just t ho point.
lie U sllalli every pollll lo Keep IMC
alive. I'm his only source of in
come. "
"I think, she said, as she e.imo into
the room, "that 1 will give that par
rot away." 'Y'cs," replied tho young
man who was culling, "that would lo
only fair. She has been doing us much
for yon. "
Mr. Pedagogs Hcnny Hloodbiim
per, how do we know that the moon
is 2l0,OiM miles distant from tlio
earth? Denny (alarmed at the teach
er's manner) Y-y-yotl said so your
self, sil V
Mr. Hoggins What do you think
of the latest medical dictum that ki.i
sing is un'ioiilthy? Mr. Hunker It
is quite true. Mr Munii y e night mo
kissing bis daughter and I was laid up
a w hole week.
"iliuunie Smith is ii w fill deceit ul. "
"In what Way ?" "Well, Hoiuetimes
he washes his face twice it week."
"What has that to do with it?" "Well
the t. aele-r thinks he's sick and lets
hint go home. "
As a Northern Pacific train drew
into a station up in the H ck ei u