(Eluttltam glrcoccl. RATES or (atf)ata tWcorii. II. A. JLOIN DOIV , EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. ADVERTISING TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, Que square, one insertion One Square, two insertions -One square, one month - 1.60 t.'0 $1.50 PER YEAR Strictly in Advance. For larger advirtisenicDts libcia. VOL. XVII. PITTSBORO', CHATHAM CO., N. C, MAY 2 1895. I racta wilt be made. Www 0, THT II II A 11 J NO. 1 i ft Come Hack, !)oar Dnj I Como bnok, Dear Days I Across the space Bereft of Oliver, your stops rotraoo, Aul gliding down tho yielding iiir I, Ike winged siiuhentiis bright nuil fair, Httiilooneeiiguiu ou son's oppressed, And all life's pulses tlirlll with rest, Dear vanished Days! Como back, Dunr Day! So long niid drear The shadowy ycnr.s since you were here, And morning beams have tlivil away 'Nenth aoinbreskios-liko souls list my. Our lonely lives are nil unhlest Of the d'iir Joys we love the best, Oomo back, Dear Day ! Come buck. Dear Days! And with in stay, And bring micti rest - In the old way : Some echoes of your song's refrain Dissolves in dro:nny calm ngnln Our scattered rum pray restore, That wo may prize 1 st peta's more. No more to ask save only this, The sunlight of lire's vanished bliss. Dear days! Come bne', Boston Courier. WEAVING RAG CARPETS. J1Y 11 Kb K.N FOliKHT UltAVKH. "Two WCek two whole Weeks!" suid Sabinu Gray. "How shall I ever puss them away?" Sabinu Gray was emphatically n working woman. For tlireo yeurs she bail sat behind tho cashier's desk at u gn-nt luce-und-ribboii store ou Chest nut street, making change, adding up long rows of figures, deciding whether this coin were spurious or that bank counterfeit, balancing her books every night ns precisely as if it wero to be her last, and oomni meing anew every morning as regularity as the clock struck cijjlit- -until, ons sultry after noon the bittalions of figures seemed to reel nnd grow dim before her eyes, nnd they carried her homo in a dead faint, to the breathless hor ror of her mother, her consumptive, brother.and tho two sisters who taught school ami spent all their wages in gay clothes, "Sho mint havo change of air," said the doctor, "and rest entire rest from her dutie.i!" "Bless mo!" said poor Mrs. Gray, "And wo with only two dollars left, after tho rent is paid nnd tho grocer's bill is settled!" "And it will nevor do for Sabina to givo up her situation, when wo need her salary so much," said Elinor, the eldest of tho school-teaching pair, who had just boujht an imitation neck lace. "Of coiirue.it isout of the question,'' said Belinda, the second girl, who was Having up for n silk gowu. "Very well," said tho doctor, brusquely. "Iu that ease, you may as well order hor coffin at once !" And ho went out with small cere mony. "Horrid, heartless bear!" said Mi nor. "Doctors never do have any nerves !" said Belinda, But tho little, consumptive lad had tied his faded handkerchief around his neck, pulled his cip over his earr, and went down to Mechlin & M ir.i bout's to tell his simple story. "If you would please let her off for a few days, sir," said he to the head man; "Because tho doctor nays that she must have rest, and I dou't think she will hnvo the courage to nsk you herself." The head man, although he looked so boarded nnd majestic thnt Bobby's heart sank within him, had yet a kind heart. "Ion nro a good boy, said he. "Yes toll Miss Gray that she can iinvo two 'weeks her salary to go on just tho same from Monday next." And Bobby sped home, li-o an ar row out of a bow, to tell tho good news. Tho next quest ion w,is, w here was Sabina to go? Hotels, fashionable re sorts, crowded boarding-houses were out of the question for an individual of her slender means. "There's Cousin Alyssa Streeter has an elegant cottage at Long Branch," said Mrs. Gray. "Sho used often to spend six weeks at a time with mo when we were girls together and my father was a well-to-do farmer. I will write to her. Sho will be kImiI to ro ceiva you." "But -mother," said Sabina, her pnlo choek flushing up, "I have never seen hor." "What difference docs that make?" said kind Mrs. Gray, who believed that all the world was as true and loy al as herself. "Sho married a rich New York Bro ker," said Miss Elinor. "I of ton won dorcd that sho did not invite us there. " "And alio has got a rich son," added Boldina, "Marin Midd-dton saw him once. A porfect Adonis!" I say, Inn, how I wish I could go with you I" Mrs. Gray wrote; and after some, delay, in which two of tho precious va-i cation-days were lost,a brief and rath-j er frigid noto came back. Mrs. Street cr regretted to hear of tho ill-health of her cousin's daughter, regretted still more that her house was full of guests at proseut, but would endeavor to find a room Bomewhero for Miss Gray, if it was absolutely necessary (these last words wero underlined) that she must oomo at this particular time. Sabina made a little grimace, as sho read tho letter which her mother bander her. "Must I go, mother?" said she. "I don't see thnt there is any choieo left for you," s lid Mrs. Gray, sadly. "It will lie tho worst doso of medi cino I have ever taken yet," said Sa bina. So she started with her little traveling-bag and the blue lined bonnet thnt made her face look like a newly-blossomed violet, so sweet, and fresh, ond innocent. But instead of taking her .. . , , . , . , . ticket for Lone Branch, sho bought one for Maneh Chunk instead. For there iu the loafy wilderness Hint skirts the beautiful Lehigh River, lived an old Aunt Mohetablo Cooper, who wove rag carpets for a living. Iu the family discussions, no one had mentioned Aunt Mehetable. She was old uud she was poor. ; but in her secret heart, Sabina felt that she won d rather go to Aunt Mehetable, in her one storied farm house, than to share the elegance of Mrs. Streeter's Queen Anne cottage at Long Brunch. "I will write to mamma when I get there," sho thought. "I know Aunt Hetty lost a daughter once and per haps that will maliH her none the less glad to see me ; and perhaps I can help her about her carpets; nnd I know there used to bo such lovely wild-flowers in tho woods around tho Lehigh River. "Well, lambent !"wosAunt Hetty's characteristic ejaculation, asher grand niece came up the path through tho woods, her belt stu;?k full of forus nnd wild-flowers. "Why it's Mary Gray's darter, Sabiny, uiu't it? I knew you by your bluo eyes, and tho way you smilled at me." "I've come to visit you, Aunt Het ty," snid Sul i in a, "You're ns welcome ns flowers in May," said Aunt Hettv "that is, if you cm sleep on tho caliky louugo iu my bed-room, biicaiiso I've gjt a boar der acit- vouug man. Como out hero for three weeks to fish." 'Oh !" snid Sabina. "But he's real pleasant," added Auut Hetty. No more trouble than a chicken. His name is Bless me! hero he comes now. Adam this is Sabiny Gray. Sabiny, this is my boarder, Sabina h i I been half-inclined to bo vexed nt tho idea of this delicious Sol- titudo being invaded by anyone save herself, but oue glance i.t the hand some,frank face of Mr. Adam disarmed her; aud they were presently tho best of friends, chatting away on tho door step, while Auut Jlotty hiked biscut, set forth a comb of new houoy, and produced a dish of wild strawberries whose fragrance perfumed tho whole room, nnd In oiled some delicious spriu: chickens of her own raising. And alter tea, Aunt Hetty took Sa bina out to th j shed to see tho carpet loom, where the bright-colored rags glowed liko sections of a kaleidoscope. "Why don't you lock tho door, Aunt Hetty?" said Sabina. "La, child!" said tho old woman. "What should I lock it for? Nobody comes hero but artists to sketch the obi house. they won't wait until I get tho ruins off the north chimney fixed up again and neighbors to see about jobs of carpet-wenvin'. I've a deal of time to work sinco Adam came. Ho milks for mo every night, and brings homo the cattle, besides keep ing mo in fresh lish all tho time. He lights tho tiro for me, too, of a morn ing, nnd tills tho kettle and brings in wood for all day. " "Oh!" thought Sabinn. "Mr. dam is a poor young man, is he, working for hia board? Well, I'm a poor young woman, and I must do tho same. Well, Auut Hetty," sho slid, cherrily, "I'll cooli tho dinner for you to-morrow, aud sweep the house, and you must tench mo to wenve rag carpot. " "La, mo.Snbina, that nreu't no way to treat company I" said Aunt Hetty "You're hero to go walkin,'nnd gnther posies, and freshen up those white ehoeks of yours a bit." "Yes, Aunt Hetty, I know," said Sa binn, coaxiugly, "but I would rather help you a little, too just a little." So tho next day she tied one of Aunt Hotty'sgignntic checkoduprotisaroiind her, and cooked the glis juiug spotted trout which .Mr. Adiu.. brought home ; and afterward she washed tho dishes and wove half a yard iu a rod-and-bluo rag carpet w hieh chnuccd to bo on the loom before hIii went walking. "It is such a wild, lonely life!" she said to herself. "Ishould like to weave rag oorpets always." Sho lost her way iu tho woods' ot course: but what cared sho for that? It was only to follow the blue wind ings of the River Lehigh till she reached home, and, before sho was half-way there, Mr. Adam overtook her, ami they had n pleasant walk back to the cottage. There is no ploco like a summei glen for becoming well acquainted, and presently ho had told her thnt he had oomo to Maiinch Chunk to got out of the way of a houseful of gay company at home. "My mother wants to marrj- me to an heiress." said he, as they sat rest ing on a mossy log by the riverside. "A young woman with green eyes, a muddy complexion nnd a temper lis crooked ns her nose." "Oh, you could never do that!" said Sabiuit. v..i ,.n !..;.! i., ..;i. ..,..l..,;u i . ' JIv idcnllsublondc.with lig';t-browu hair, blue eyes, rather a low brow and " He stopped suddenly. Sabina's faee flushed. Wns not this the exact discriptiou of tho fair coun tenance at that momeut mirrored in the river? "And now tell me why you came here?" said he. us if to change tho conversation. "I am a shop-girl," snidS ibina "a cashier rut her in a Philadelphia store. I have ten days' vacation to spend here. I was to have been sent to a fashionable cousin iu Long Branch, but but I preferred to come here. Now Mr. Adam, we must hurry back. I nm to get ten for Aunt Hetty." "Wu ill hurry back by nil means," said he. "But you niusu't call mo Mr. Adam. Say Adam." "That would bo very familiar," said Sabiua. "My nomo is Adam Streeter," said he. Aud I certainly shall not permit you to sny Mr. Streeter." Subiua started. "Streeter?" sho siiid. " Aro you Alyssa Streeter's sou?" "I am." "It is a Kismet!" cried Sabiua, laugaing. I came here expressly to get uway from you." He bit his lip. "I comprehend yon nre tho pretty working-girl whom my mother was bo afraid of. Perhaps that wns ono reason why she wa.s so anxious thnt I should como out hero trout-fishing." And both tho young pcoplo burst out laughing, until the gray old rocks echoed again. Wns it at all strange that, uud or tho circumstances, Adam Streeter and Sa bimi Gray fell inlovewithcnchother? At tho end of tho two weeks, Mrs. Gray cume to Mauch Chunk to bring her daughter back to the city. Sabiua was at tho traiu to meet her aud drive her homo iu Neighbor j Hawkins' wugou through tho Lehigh Woods. "Bless me, darling how plump und rosy you have become!" said tho widow, heartily k'issing her daughter. ''Oh, yes, mo thcr!" faid the girl ;I havo grown quite quito well again. And I have learned to make the lovli est rag carpets you ever baw, all out of odds and ends. And and I am en gaged to be married to Cousin Aly6sa Streeter's son Adam." "Dear me I" ejaculated tho bewil dered old lady. "Isn't it strange that all theso things should happen in so short n time?" said Sabina, brightly. As if love tho roguo did not always come upon us swiftly and silent ly, like tho flight of a gold-winged Tho lino had come for the out-blos soming of Snliua Gray's heart--that was nil. Saturday Night. Ilow Titles Predict Storms. Fresh interest has recently been de veloped in tho fact that West Indian hurricanes, and other great storms at sen, frequently pnniuco a romarKaoie effect upon the tides along neighbor ing counts. When a tempest is approaching, or passing out en the ocean, the tides aro proetieably higher than usual, as if the water ha I boon driven in a vat wave before the storm. The influence extends to a great distance from tho cyclonic storm centre, so that tho pos sibility exists of foretelling the ap- roach of a dangerous liurricnno by menus of indications furnished by tide gages situated far away from tho placo then occupied by the whirling winds. Tho fact that the tidal wavo out strips tho advancing storm shows how extremely sensitive the surface of tho sea is to tho chnugos of pressuro brought to bear upon it by the uover rcsting atmosphere. No Chance for It. Tnpdoigh I wonder why lightning never striken twice in tho same place? Wngleigh Well, you can't gener ally find tho place. Puck. CHILDHEVS COLUMN. MY IIOI.I.IKS. Oil, I've such a lot ol dollim. It would really make you stare! Just twelve! Would you believe ItJ Twelve ehlldren in my pare! Everyone says, "suph a family !" Hut they 'ma great comfort to mo. Mamma calls em "Helen's Untiles," And that's what they are, ynu ses. There's H"ssle, my biggest ,l,,ly ; Nho's as old as stie pan be, I'or she was my mamma's dully H'-fore she belonged to m' There's Clnrn, nnd Aliee, an I .lnnln, And tirade, with golden lottr, And eyes that shut and open; Hlie's most alive, 1 declare. Now, Dot Is n denr little dolly. In the sweetest blue satin dress; And Nellie, aud Celia and Hattie You'll think there's n lot, 1 gu"s. There's Jtobbie, my little sailor, And T"psy, as rule as can be. And Ko-('luiuir-Kee, the Chinaman They're all so d-nr to me. I'm sure so big a family You won't very often see j But this is a "truly story," About my dollies and me. -Child (tardea. IlOO TltAlNS OF MAN1TOHA. In tho northern districts of Mani toba dog trains nre still in use and very satisfactory is th time made by the animals, who sUnu over the frozen snow nt a rapid rate. A train arriv ing at Stanley, covered 350 miles in four days well on to ninety miles n day. Tho railway has ojieued up com munication with the settled districts in southern Manitoba, hut tho do,-? c n t i n in s to supply the best means of trans't for passengers and innils in tho sparsely settled regiom. New York Recorder. AMt'&KMENTB OF Al'MCAN NATIVES. I remember seeing a game, which for want of a better name I will call football, played at a villngo iu tho breezy uplands of Central Africa, be longing to a chief called Majamboui. Rough goals wero put at each end of the green, and sides being chosen, tho boll was kicked off from tho middle of tho ground. Tho game was played much in tho same way that our Asso ciation game is played, but there was n good dual of "handling" and not much idea of tho rules of "offside." The natives understood "dribbling" wonderfully well, nnd I saw some re markably good play, for they wero clover at dodging aud passing the ball to their own side. Still there seemed to bo no very close or regular rules, each man playing pretty much ns ho saw fit. The sides, moreover, wero not limited to any particular number, aud tho ball being struck from hand to hand, wns as often iu the air as on the ground. The game, which was started with about ten boys on each side, was soon joined in by tho elders, until in n short tinii almost every grown-up man in the villngo was taking part iu it. As soon ns any of them got tired and fell out of the game, others took their places, sometimes as many ns a hundred men playing nt the snmo time. Tho game soon became fast arid furious, and the greatest excitement was shown ; tho women nnd children, too, all turned out to see it, mid wero quite ns noisy iu their demonstrations nnd showed quito as much interest in it ns the spectators do nt a football match between Harvard nnd Yale. There was no limit as to time, nnd tho game, which wos started at about two o'clock in the afternoon, would, 1 believe, havo gone on till midnight had not. tho ball burst with a loud re port in tho middle of a scrimmage, nnd so with much shouting and laugh ter it ended toward sundown. Har per's Young People. (ood Time In Un to Japan. Colonel Cockenll, writing from Tokio, advises his fellow-countrymen that this will bo a good year to mo Japan. This is so because tho nation will bo in finest feather after a glori ous war ; because this is tho year of a qiiadrenniel national fair to bn held in Kioto ; nnd because Kioto, being tho heart ami soul of old .Japan, is tho most interesting city iu tho empire. It is a recognized art center nud its bazaars will bj countless. Moreover this year is to bo celebrated ns tho 1,100th anniversary of tho accession of the present dynasty. Detroit Free Press. A Treasure. Mrs. Johusou May Brown has grown up to be a fine girl. Johnson Yos, indeed! She's; a great comfort to her father. Mrs. Johnson Is she? Johnson. Yes; sho aud her mother often disngroe about what they want him to do, and Brown thoroughly cm iovit the deadlock. Puck. STYLKS IX CANES. African Walking Sticks Are Now Fashionable. Many Novelties Manufactured From Imported Woods. So mnny persons carry cones nowa days that the manufacture of tlii'i ad junct to dress has become unite an im portant American industry. It iB true that most of tho iinliuished sticks are imported, but hundreds of people are kept busy preparing them for market. People prefel wood of foreign growth. Fashions in ennes change with other dres and for several years the only proper stick to carry has been of nat ural wool. These sticks are treated w hile grow ing to give t hem a knotty appearance. No one in this country could afford to spend tho time in watching nu 1 trimming sprouts.biit in the rural districts of Europe there nro many people who earn n livelihood iu canestick growiug. There is reported to be oue wood grown in America for walking sticks, and that is Irish blackthorn. Accord ing to on old canemsker, the introduc tion of Irish blackthorn iu tho United States was begun by a native of New Jersey, who a few years ago brought some roots over from Ireland and planted them. The roots sprouted easily, and it is now said that "Jersey Irish" blackthorn sticks are superior to thoa-j from the Emerald Isle. But nu blackthorn is decidedly out of date, it is possible that the New Jersey arti cle will not cut much of a figure in cau,o manufacture for some time to come. The most popular wood for a year or more has been what is known ns the Congo onk, u stick supposed to como from tho valley of tho Congo, but tho bulk of which is imported from Hungary nud other countries of Europe. It is tho cultivation which makes the Congo oak canes what they are. All bticks are marred while growing, sons to have the regular line of knobs, that gives tho cane its value. They are imported straight, aud arc bent und trimmed in this country. A wood that holds its own through all tho changes in stylo is tho French ad relette. Among the other foreign woods now popular nro Scotch firs, Madagascar swamp wood and English ash. Tho swoct-secuted German and Scotch wexel is getting out of date. Many cauo sticks are uow imported from tho West Indies, Central Ameri ca and the fertile region of tho Ama zon, aud are finished uuder various tinuie.H. China and Japan have also furnished their share of canes, in a variety of bamboo bticks, which nre considered choicu by many people. In New York city there are over two hun dred small shops where theso stacks nre bout, stained and trimmed. Thero have been known a number of uotcd meu whoso hobby was tho collection of nil varieties of canes, and it is said that Lester Wallaek col lected during his lifetime several hun dred of the finest and rarest kinds. The most valuable of all woods for cnue-makiug is said to be African oak, which only grows on the edges of the desert, nnd so slowly that it takes years for tho wood to becom? tho size necessary for a enri". There nre re ported to bn but half a dozen canes of it in tho United States. The constant tendency of the Amor cnu mind to have some new, requires cano dealers to continually bring out now sticks. A new taking stylo of wood is shortly expected. New York Advertiser. Carrier Pigeons For the Navy. Professor Marion instructor of modern lunguages at the United States Naval Academy, w ho has charge of tho pigeon loft there, says that Secretary Herbert is entirely in favor of tho system of tho use of carrier pigeons iu tho navy and that it is the hope of those interested to h ivo car rier pigeon cotes at all our naval sta tions. Secretary Herbert got nu idea of what could bo done by pigeons while on tho lust trip on the Dol phin. Professor Marion has invented n method of carrying messages iu small aluminum water-tight cases attached to tho legs of the birds. This device it is thought is a grent advance over tho present method of attaching the message to a tail feather of tho bird for frequently tho feather is pulled out nnd tho message lost. Captain R. L. Phythinn whilo Sup erintendent of tho Naval Academy, took tho greatest interest in tho work and experiments of Professor M -it ion, nud other officers nt tho station have pnid hi n i I n r attention to it. Ciptitin i'hythian believes thnt the experiments which have boon made with .101111117 pigeons nt tho Naval Academy have demonstrated that the birds can be made valuable in carrying communica tions from vessels operating near the coast, and that the pigeon service should bo established 011 11 recognized basis. Last summer birds were taken aboard the Monongabelia nud the Bancroft on tho summer cruise of tin cadets nnd during the whole period only nine birds failed to appear, ol less than ten per cent of the entire number. S me of these nine birds nre accounted for by tho fact that they were liberated from the bhips off the mouth of Deleware Bay, aud mistak ing it for tlie Chesapeake with whoso waters they had become familiar had tlown directly up prob ibly to the vic inity of Philadelphia and so were lost. Professor Marion does not claim that his birds are infallible, but he objects to certain statements made by Joseph liiiguol the pigeon expert nt Paris. M. Lugnol said that the pigeon could not ily jit m a furthei than i!0() kilometrt s, or about l-'o miles; that nt a greater ilistanee from land they would refuse to leav th ship aud that they became sea sick. Professor Marion replies that his ex periments have 1 u attended with greater success nnd thnt instead ot 200 kilometres the flights ,,f ler.U have in several in-tn;ic s bee n 11 long as 200 miles over the ccenn, with n speed somewhere m ur thirty miles an hour. New York Sun. Beasts ns Mind Headers. "Io you think uinnrils communi cate together?" was ii.sked of llageli beck the liou tam-r. "Thoy put their heads close together and soi m to have n sort of sign lan guage. They expie.ss such simple thoughts as 'I'm tired,' 'get out of the way,' 'stand back,' 'are you well?' quite plainly, to my observation, among each other. "Tho language of animals seems quite plain to 111 ," continued tho fa mous lion turner, earnestly. "Men havo a considerable ability to com municate facial express on nnd ges ture, but school themselves to repress theso natural expressions of rage, four or friendship, nnd say by oral lan guage what their wisdom dictates, often quite the opposite of what they feci. Animals on the other hand are ton simple to make lulieve, and this gift, which meu misuse, is their regular mode of communication. Notice how quickly a dog scents ruge or sorow iu his master's face. Wo can't see the expression of a lion's face except of ruge, but his companions can. "I have ulso thought that animals have the gift of thought reuding in stead of power to speak. Did you ever see one animal fail to understand another? I never saw such it 11 instance. The range of their thoughts is limited. 1 do uot think they cuu read men's thoughts except very imperfectly, be cause they are so extensive mid com plex beyond their comprehension. I am inclined to think that what we call mind reading is mere survival hero, and there of the lost sixth sense which was probably common to primitive man, nnd which animals possess to this diy." Kansas City Star. The Slaughter of 1-dephants. Pi Berlin a number of African trav elers, colonial politicians mil scienti fic men have formed a "Committee for the Purpose of Taming and Pre serving the Afric m Elephant. It is computed, nccorditig to statistical data of the export of ivory, that no feoi than DO.O'lO to fel.imO elephants are killed every year. The committee say that being so, the time is not far dis stant wheii the last elephant in Africa will have disappeared. With such prospect in view, the coliimitttoe have decided to put a stop to this mischievous slaughter. By taming and maiiiing tli ! last represen tatives of a fast-ily ing-out nnimul would the committee hope to pre serve unimpaired the enormous power that the elephant is known to possess, so that he may be of still further use to mankind. The (ieliuiu Colonial Company have already devoted a large sum of money to this put pose, and now the Colonial Department of the For eign Ollice have augmented this sum by granting a liberal allowance. Lon don News. Itlg Prices for Postage Mumps. A Binttleboro 5 cent postage stamp, black on buff, was sold for S500 re cently in London. Threi St. Louis 10 cent stamps brought $;) nnd 05 apiece. Other prices were: Moldavia, 108 paras, blue 011 pink, 1'V; Spain, 2 reals, red, of 1 K.1 1 , ll"; of 1H.VJ, $100; Tuscany, :t lire, yellow, .l;5ll; British Guiann, S cent, green, $101) and $120; two 4 rents, primrose, $:10D each, while nu K.oent green nnd a 4 cent orange 011 tho sumo envelope fetched Sf.OO, Jo the 'Funny Fellows." This world has too much grief and pain, Too many tears by half, Aud so, my Lies-dugs do I give 'Jo those who make nie laugh. Then let tbe croakers pass along; Their talk is but ns clialT, While strength is in the playful words That stir the lightsome laugh. True, serious moods must have their pile'", I'or work is life's great slIT; Hut they toil best who imw nnd then Send birth the merry laugh. And so. since shadows f irm of life Ily far the larger half. Our fervent blew-dngs let us give To those who make us laugh. ( I aha J. l'l-MoN. in Demurest. HUMOROUS. Watching the tied The people at a Wedding. Pride is like the gilded signboard ot a bad hotel. Tin man who thinks he cun muke a success of ni veinl things is not a suc cessful thinker. The one time in a man's life when lie wants the earth is when he falls overboard ill mid-ocean. The reason so many humbugs gain fame iu tie se days is that the bidder has born su-perscdod by the elevator. L.idy (visiting arsenal 1 What rifle is least used ? Soldier Tho Miuie, muni. "Aud tho most H "The Maxim, mil 111. " Next to a railroad track, the sinnll boy prefers the untloored second story of nu unfinished house ns n play ground. Venous Malinger Why nre you feeding camphor to that elephant? Trainer To keep fh-J moths out of his trunk. Isn't it funny? They frequently pay mc as much for a short lecture as for 11 long one. His friend I should think they'd pay you more. "So the insolent fellow refused to pay his rent?" "He did not say so in words, but ho intimated it." "Ilow so?" "He kicked me downstairs." Contentment in this life does not consist in making others think ns su perior, but merely in making our selves believe that we make others think so. Malinger Thero are only a dozen people in the house. Modern prima donna I'll go ou and bing. It isn't worth while to disappoint such a small audience. The man who boasts thnt ho works with Lis bend instead of his bonds is respectfully reminded that the wood pecker does the same, and is tho big gest hind of a bore. Tho little Boston boy was visiting the littl-j New York boy, and a spell ing match was one of their amuse ments. "How do you spell muss?" asked the little New York boy. "1-ln-b-r-o-g-l-i-o,''replied the little Bos ton boy, and the little New York boy fainted. Chase (to dentist) I won't pay any thing extra for gnu. Just yank tho looth out, even if it does hurt a little. Dentist I must hiiy ymi are very pluckly. Just let me see tho tooth. Chase Oli, 1 haven't got any tooth ache; it's Mrs. Chase. She'll be hero iu a minute. Master of the house (on his fiftieth birthday 1 to his guests: Ladies nnd gentlemen, this day lifty years ago, when I first saw the light of this world -nm, 11111 -I did not for a mo ment niitii'ipHto---er---anticipnte Unit I should see so numerous nnd- uin---so liistingiiished a company gathered around me. Hew Ploiers I.gtrs Are f ound. The collectors of plovers' eggs nro very busy now, and it is extremely amusing to watch them nt work, an even in this humble art there nre two distinct schools. A solid and careful method l to take the fallow moorland or other ground and work it slice by slice, walking each time from end to end, so that not an inch of ground is in sseil. Nearly every egg is thus scooped iut: the basket. The other is quickei and more intelligent. It is to trust to the observation of eggs and birds, and search the field irregularly. A boy or woman, often the latter, will in this way collect a small number very quickly. )ne can not help regrett ing, however, that thero is such n tasto for plovers' eggs as tho (locks of birds are being visibly thinned. Somo day, tcrhnpH, it will bo discovered tl t phoasiiuts' eggs aro really much moro palatable and cost a great deal lesj ; you may buy them for about throe cents u dozen. Wero a demand to orisu it would be easily satisfied, since tho production of pheasants' eggs for salo has been developed to an extent that might well oxc.ilo the envy of ordinary pcu'tr jr keepers. Pall Mall Gazette,

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