ri.-. nn-" tH,t !-'"ll"1 3
t :
"(fDHutlutm llccuvtl.
Cljatljam ttecorb.
RATKS
II. A. JLUIN DOIN ,
EDITOR AND rUOl'iaETOli.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION,
ADVERTISING
one Bunre, one inscrtion
Ono square, two iimcrtiuus
Olio square, onu month
tl.00
l.ftO
Mo
$1.50 PER YEAR
Strictly in Advance.
For largor advcrtisi'mctus libciel ton
ric.U will be made.
VOL. XVII.
iirnsroito Chatham co., n. c, july-2:, i8.;.
NO. 18.
fcjfctMMjitrrii--,rri'i'"
A Song of I.ofe.
W'horo Lovn may nuikp his nost,
Whero hIiiiII my soul abide;
I'lio sun may pass from cist to west
Tho ocean vviiutlor wiili- i -Hut
Love, my cli'iir, where'er I bo,
Shall nuikiMi heaven mi earth for lie;,
1 cannot hear the birds
Whoso breasts th" blusnum gem :
Thorn Issueli music III 1,-ivo's wurch
I linvo no liuiirt fur them '.
Hwoot sing Ihe birds from liuul to soil.
Hut Iiiivn sings tweeter snugs to luu!
What is tin- sweetest s u,'
Tho riiriM liinl imii sing.
To I,ovn tlmt lasts it wliiili! life lor.c,
Ami tlii'ii to hmvon takes winit?
It Is on earth -in heaven above
OllO Snllg, nlli) Hilllg of lovi! -of lovi"!
-Ik 8. Stanton.
A ROUGH PEACEMAKER.
HY IIOSH HAIiTUK'K TIIOUPI'..
"I llllVO Ollit'l'L'il till! llOUSO puilllod
dark green, with poiieilings t" net it
oft'," said Nod Winters, after his usual
salutation, lis lio tlirow himself into
ono of Mm. Hall's easy chairs in her
pretty )iirlor, and cast n proprietor
ship glance of admiration nt Mrs.
HiiII'h pretty daughter, who was re
clining languidly in mi easy chair just
opposite.
"Green !" hlii- exclaimed, sudd-tily
assuming nn erect position. "Ned
Winter, have you no taste at nil tlmt
you can oven think of having it paint
ed green? Green nml red! How ridi
culous;!" "I ntu sure you w ill lik-s it, Min
nie," expostulated Neil, in n slightly
niuioyoil tone. Judgo Lldridgo's new
lioitHO is imiuloil green mul it is very
pretty."
It was tho evening after Mrs. Iui
ford's party, mid Ned Winters should
linvo Known better tlimi to vi.sit his
betrothed so soon after tlmt exhaust
ing nll'iir. Not only this, but they
liud both boon dissipaliii", ill the way
of parties, to nil unusual d give fur
the. past few days, and neither of them
was in proper condition foru pleasant,
agreeable visit nil by them cIvm.
Human nature will rebel niter n
certain iiiuoiint of nliil.se, and the
sweetest ilis(uisil ion is liable to be
converted into iU opposite, with very
blight jirovoeuiion.
Fsually, when Veed ill stions
arose, Miuiiie would ,v, "Oh, NCI!"
in that pretty, coaxing way el hot's,
mid then Mio would use all of her
"woiunn'H arts" ho artlessly and inno
cently, ho thoiinht, to win In r own
disires in the matter.
Sho never failed ol winiiin-.', or of
leaving the iniU'ehsion ,.ii Ned's mind
that lie was having his own way in
(..rnntiiii; luu-reiiiests : but now they
were ceiiijdetely ixhi'isted iiud il!
toiii)ierod on that unfortunate eveu-iii)-.
"Vim must countermand your or
der at one, Ned," said Minnie, de
cidedly. "Ibnb ia the color we want.
I' is so modest and uti isstuuim; !
llavo it luiilitcd a lovely shade of liht
drab with slate-eoloi ed comic "
"1 liavo already n'v.'ii my order,
and I shall not revoke it," said Neil,
in tones which had ix surest nm of
uugry resentment in tln in. "J lme
given you full sway over the inside of
tho house, and you have kept the car
jienttrs in hot water from the liist by
changing the plan of tiie rooiui ho
often. 1 don't mind that so much
because you nio to live in the house
nnd tho inside ouht to be uriiuig
to suit you ; but I reserve the riht to
paint the outside any col if I choose,
and I choose to have it painted
green."
"I won't live in a green house!''
cried the little woiua.ii, looking verv
severe nnd 1 1 n I ;"; 1 , 1 1 ' i le r diminu
tivo liguio erect nnd hiu;hty. "I
tell you I won't live in a hous that is
painted green!" more emphatically;
"and if you persist in Inn log it green,
you can get some other girl to i-iiare
it with ymi, that's all !''
"Which I fin do without any
serious trouble?" said Ned, springing
to his feet and starting for the door.
'When you desire to see me again you
can let mo know !"
Ho RCarcely realized what he was
saving in his angry imp itieueo.
"Or perhaps como and lling myself
at your feet and implore forgiveness !"
oho cried out sharply, with a husky
tone in her voice, which was followed
ns goon nn ho had gone out and he had
closed tho hall door behind him by a
tempest of tears.
"How could I say such hateful
thiugit to him?" sho murmured, re
proachfully, alter sho had wept her
resent incut away. "Tho dear fellow
lias allowed me. to have my own way
from tho first, and I might give up in
tho matter of tho paint. O.i dear,
I'd rather have tho house painted a
bright yellow than to h iv. ipi irrc.-.
with Nod!"
And Ned ns he tramo' l n u. lv
lou tho sired, called hliiiell all the
hard names ho could think of for
allowing such a t rifle to mihii him uso
"dear little Minnie" so Hhunicfully.
The night pnssed with vorj litllo
(deep for cithi.r of theso unhappy
"grown-up" children.
Minnie spent it in tears, while, in
his bachelor apartments, Ned pao si
thellior rostlosdy; but neither felt
like offering tho necessary apology,
when tho morning cam, aud hd
another miierablo day b.ig.iu.
It is hard to t'dl how largo a niouu
taiu might have grown out of that in
significant litllo mole-hill, if souie
tliin; terrible had not rush "d to tln-ir
assiHtauc'! at that opportiiuo time and
settled tho matter for them.
In the midst of her self-reproaches,
Minnie became aware (hut there was
an oniuious silence all about her, aud
that lie) people in tin) next house w to
ga.iug nt tho sky in tin wvt with
anxious g!nni!.:s.
She went to th ) do r, and Ihe sight
presented to her nearly deprivo l her
(if her senses, it was so terrible.
She now hoard a distant roir uud
rumbling, and afar in the west s:nv a
mass of black, angry clouds, high up
in tie; sky, ruling and busing about
in a most foriui table tu i:i u r, with a
narrow point ut tho his) which s'eme I
to lu galhcring up fuel for th; hhuk
bro'.ved inoiistor's wrath to vent itself
upon.
' 'A cyclone !" she eric 1.
H r first thought wa of N I u:i 1
tho safety which, sh s w is sure, his
Klroiig ur.u) would nlt'iid her iu this
dreadful time of d.mg :r.
His olli -o was two bloelis away, and
without a thou ;ht of her a;ipe;ira:ie ,
or h T p:ob ilile lati. should th; storm
overtake li-r in thj street, slu ran
down tho path, out of th) git", aid
had si ut ; I with llyiu ; foots! -pi for
Ned's oDic , when llio cyclone hlruek
t'ie v illag '.
Sh was lu'tcd from h -f feet and
carried forward with bow did. ring
has!,..
It waionly the oilier ed ;e of the
exclude which had chilIiI her in its
giu-p, nn I wh 'ii it hid whirled ln.'l'
about a do,:--ii tim 'S or more, uu I had
thoroii-hly sh ik'.'ii h r, it dropped
her in su I ieiil.v a, it hi lean ght li-jt
droppe 1 h ! a: th- very feet i-f tile
young in i i sin' had :.t ub'd to find.
Their thoughts, in that tirst mo
melit of peril, had been the s i:u mid
h- was o:i his way t i M;u li-'.s ho:u i
when she fell at his feet in u most uu
c 'rem onions fashion.
'. )ii, Ned !" she gasped.
"My darling!"
He caught her in his nrnw, mi l
kissed her whit - frightened fa- i in a
most seiiU'lnlous m iiiner, c hi .iil-riuj
that tli-y wero in th.) street - in Main
street, in fact and that everybody
was "out."
Hut it so happened that tho "village
g.sips" were loo bii ,y j 1st then to
m ike a note of th:s it -u an 1 it passed
uiiiiotie.'d.
"i ear N-d," said Minnie, ln-'ekly,
:n soon iii she reg.iino 1 hor breath,
"I I don't mind if tho house is
painted green. "
"I've act 'd a fool, Minnie," he said
huuiply. "1 don't c ue a copper w hat
color the h ois ! is. I've w ished a
hundred tines sine) last night thai
there wasn't aliv house at all."
"So have I," said Milini .
And later in the d iv they discovered
that the cyclone, which hid brought
tiieiii tog 'ther with such uubv'com
ing haste, had also removed the calico
of their (piarrel.
The new house h id bc-ii taken up
carried several rods, and set down, in
u pitiable condition, in Farm :r Jones'
b i rii-ynrd.
"I w as just a-goin' to build a lew
barn this summer mi th.v very spot,"
he said to Ned a short Inn i after i.hu
tin- storm, "an' if y.-'ll sell it sort o'
cheap, I'll rig it imi for a barn."
And so the house w.is sold to
Fanner Join s, and in dm.) a new one
look its plac , entirely satisfactory
to both Ned and Minnie.
lint when it was tinisliod it did not
wear a coat of igreeii. Oh, no! it was
drab, w ith shite-colored cornice I
Saturday Night.
A Soldier's Answer.
I'.mperor Napoleon, alter ono of his
(rent battles, gathered the remnant of
his force aroiin I him, and proceeded
to compliment them in his characteris
tic manner, so endeiringt the hearts
ol his soldiers. Finally (' unpaiid I),
of the (in il'ds, who ha I been ill Ihe
1 i-.ck of tiie light, wire ordered to
present themselves, and to tho aston
ishment of the I'.mperor a single sold
ier appeared. He was bound up in
bandages, and could barely walk.
"Where is ihe rest of your com
piny?" asked Ihe Kmperor.
A tear swelled ill the old soldier's
e re as ho aus ern 1, "Your M ij -sty,
t'.iev lie on the field dead,'' and then
s H lowlully added, "they fought bet
ter than 1." Hni per'n lioimd Tablo.
Notable Mute I'lipi'iM.
"Tho original McKiuley tariff law
is written on parchment similar to
that of tho Sherman law, and like it,
it is bound into a big book that con
tains tho original documents of many
other laws. It filla sixty-throe of these
largo parchment sheelH, nml the en
grossing of it was done by three dif
ferent clerks. Tho title of tho bill is,
'An. Vet to JJediteo the HovomieH and to
Kipializo Duties.' It is attested in the
Hume manner as tho Sherman law, and
signed by Speaker Heed, Vice Presi
dent Morton, and President Har
rison. Tho Wilson bill, which .sup
plants tho Meluu!cy bill, tills about
ns many pages of tho heavy unruled
parch nr. ml, w hieh, by -I h. -way, we send
to F.aglaud to buy. Tho Wilson bill
mentions almost every article of com
merce (hat otio can think of, grouping
similar things into paragraphs, and
ii lining the duties that shall be piid
on each. There is a long list or arti
cles on which there is no duty.
"iVoohininiions by the President of
the United States have maintained one
form since the foundation of the gov
ernment. Tiie original Kmaiicip itioii
proclamation issued by Preside. it
Lincoln is w ritten upon very In avy
w hito unruled paper that is folded
mice. Tiie fold is nt the left, like a
sheet of four-paged letter-paper, aud
each page is ti n by fourteen inches in
bi.e. It b-'gi'i', in do all Presidential
proclamations, 'lly the Pre id nt of
the Tinted S ates of America A Proc
lamation. '
"The first lino is written with a pen
in a bold hand, and the wolds, 'A
Proclamation,' form a lino of them
selves printing characters, although
i xecu I ed with a pen. it proclaims
that on u e rtaiu date, mid under cer
tain conditions, a race is free from
boil luge, but in nowhere calls itself an
'Em iiicipatiou Proclamation, ' TL'at
is a popular name given to this, one
of the most famous of state papers.
The text is in the handwriting of Sec
retary S -ward a baud that was strik
ingly like that of Mr. Lincoln. llnr
per'a lijiuid Tabic."
Sniiii' I'linus nf Fungi.
Scarcely a day passes m whiih we
do not seo soul') forms of fungi, so
common are th-y inhabiting every
nook and corner. If wo walk in tho
lichU, the woods, even in the door
yard, we see tho little white, gray and
brow n umbrellas of tho toadstools ai I
mushrooms, (i-dug to tho preserve
closet, we see that on tho tops of
many of the bottle u white growth
has fo lii-d. On;' old shoes hidden
unav in th.) dark hive a greenish dust
up on thorn ; this is another fuiigis;
uud the "mother" in viiiegeir claims
consulship with the ycust which
raises our bread. Th.j paste-pot is
ll-cked with pink, green and gray
spots, all fungi. S nne of the grain
crops are often subject to partial or
complete destruction from different
kinds of fungi tho "smut" of w heat
and corn, orgot of rye, and others.
Silkworms are destroyed in vast
numbers by a mould. Its pores, enter
ing their bodies, fill tho whole ill! -rior,
and cause death in from seventy
to a hundred and fol ly hours. The
hop crop is often ruined by 'niddew."
One stru'igo fungus attacks a kind of
caterpillar, growing like a tree from
his back until it is much larger th in
the poor worm, thai crawls about wilii
his imweleom guest until it kills him.
St. Nicholas.
A Iteiiiarkabli' Memory.
One Sun. lay a f-w weeks ago lieu
Oikford look a walk through tie) rail
rmi I yard nt Tulare and read the
iiiiinb-rs of the ears and their desti
nations uud initio I lh.! tracks thev
were on. There were uiuety-siv cus
uu tho ditf rent tracks, and, having
In iked them over, he well! into tlej
(illiee, took up a paper clip, and, be
ginning with the 1 1st cir, set them all
dow n back to the I'll si oil .
llu ining them iivp in his mi sd, ho
said, "I have missed one," and set
down ihe figures of this c if in the
nider in which it stoil mi the trick.
He made throe mistakes in the w hole
list, writingf. P. llL',"lil, when ho
should have written :L',7iU, nls li.,
ll.Vi when he should have written (ill,
liT"). and lastly Pt.li'it, when it. ougjit
to have been P.l..Nil:l.
It is not likely that any man w ith an
ordinary memory c mid t iketho nu n
l is and descriptions of live eirs an. I
I'eiiii'iuber them live minutes, and th
writer will bet his hit that he In nisei I'
could not remember tiio ,1-s - rip! ion o;
two of them ten minutes unless h had
half an hour to learn thorn in. Tu
lare, (C.'.il.,) 11 gis! or.
A Ptior SI; d at.
Mr. Haieede You s iy yoil belon ;
to th i woi iiiu' elms, d y ?
Ilv. rett Wrest T'h it's what.
"I'oil mint ba hU.iiiL th' to it ot tt,
oluss, ain't ye? t'iuoiuuati Trib' 4,
(niuih'n.vs coi.niv
Tllnt I I I I).
John ly sav; me lu It,
Noliicly i nine that way.
Win u 1 found Hi-- Ii'ix i Hi- i'..-.'t si:-'!
hi ie lh- cakes far supper lay.
N il'-lv...l me nn! to.
X ill "ly know Imt myself,
f al, Ol I w ish lh it 1'ii'ei I tool:
Win fa-k again mi the .-h-lf.
N-Iiinly knows my troiilil-,
X'llinily ever w aiM nne si
Thai a eaki uM i ,iiie a little girl
Is i much iiiili,ip;iii:ess.
X..li...ly can le I in-ther
Who took it from th sli-U .
li It I know, li'lo -e I go lo sh e;.,
I'll have lo t-ll h-r my.-eif !
M'S AMI l lll'll; W AV I.
A in an who knows n'l nl'o.it niit.i
suvs Ilia! no one has ever i.een u ip-rr-r.d
between any two of them that l.Vcd
in the sumo in t. if a great many
children were put together in one big
house, do voll think that could be said
o.' them? Sum- of the ant guard the
hoine, home feel Ihe babies, soliio
make roads and m w rooms while
others go out to get fool. Mich one
seems to do its litllo duty without In.-,
or fret ting.
Ono uu imt bund a big il , lint
was dead. Th imt pulle 1 and pull d
ut il, but could not cirry it oil'. Ail r
twenty minutes of hard work, it wetii
to the n;.sl, and cam back with twelve
other nut to lclp it. How did it let
them know about the lly?
There are big ants and little mil.-,
white, black, and red nuts -a thoiisoi I
kin Is in all. One kind has servants
to wait on t in-iii and feed them. The
have become so lazy that they had
rather die than lake the trouble to
fee 1 themselves. Other mils keep
cows! You hive often seell these
cows, but you did not know they wro
cows, bee ills- they have no horn uud
no long tail. Th'-y are the little green
bites that spoil our rosu-bu-hes in tho
summer. The nuts uro very fond of
their milk, which is what wo call
luniev-dew. Kx uiiuiLi'.
A ltOlil.N ( Al'lilir IN i ii.M i:uv.
lo birds remember injuries? One
Hi.vero winter the deep snow had been
thrown oil' tho steps of tiie window
uud formed a heap in which there
many cavities. It was my custom tu
feed the birds every day utter mialu
with whatever scraps I could get, es
pecially scraps of fat meal, bits of
iviplcs, etc. One day il occurred to
mo to place tho food in the cavi
ties of tho snow, just to see how 111.)
I birds would act. Among those w hich
camo daily to be fed was a robbin rcd
brest, one of the most self-eoi l'idetit
and quarrelsome of the Kuglish
warblers. Ho had taken upon him
self to bo tho "boss" of the place, and
drove every bird away from the tit
bits. Iu one of tiio cavities I had
placed n lino piece of fat, mid llio
robin poked his head tu; then went
right iu to enjoy tho d liency.
In tho twinkling of an eye two lit
tle bluotits small, pugnacious birds
wero at the entrance pegging nt
him. Finding that he could not back
out the round to face the foe.but they
kept up such a perfect fu.-iliide of
pecks that he gave in an I drew back
as far as he could. Wh-u the blue
tits went away he came out, looking
crestfallen, and wliein ver his enemies
appeared on the steps kept his ins
tance. The bully had mastered a le.--soii
for once.
Now, simple as such nn incident is,
it is indicative of what wocinnot well
help calling "reasoning 1 ow el." Th
Id m tit is a tiiucii smaller bird than
the redbreast, has a less powillill
beak uud is nut much accustomed tu
b ! on the gioiind, lor his habit is tu
limit for insects a ig buds. 11 '
would have lm eh nice in the op -ii.biit
he rccoguiz-il at one "tiio hole" the
redbr 'list had put himself iu and in
conjuiie ion with an ally h" t ikes ad
vantage of it. To go no higher iu tho
intellectual world, no schoolboy could
hivoaeied more craftily. Pniludol
phia Press.
Straw Hats or Wml.
A Miis-aehtisetts inventor hns pat
ented a machine which issupp'.icd Willi
line planing teeth. A log of wood
cut Mjuare is fed to it, and when the
log pass os through it it has furnished
a hundred strips of wood much resem
bling excelsior. Their length, of
course, is that of the log. It is
claimed th it. these, when moistened,
c in bo woven much more readily tha i
straw and mike as durable a hat.
The inventor says it is twice
Pghl as straw, and that, because of its;
rasi-r manipulation ami cheaper cost,
it will supersede ill" s'raw now ustvl
for the construction of headgear.
Kven women's Leghorn hats and t!e
finest Panamas miy b coino possible
for those who can't all'ord then tow,
New York World.
GLASS ISACin.T.
Tin Tip bins Ma1o It as Well ns
M jikd'ii Manufacturer;.
Br
it ii'u! liiTc-ts Obtained In
tho Siainud Variety.
The most scientific, glass woi kefs of
today are no more proficient iu tin ir
ni t than were tho craftsmen of aneii ut
Tie hes I, llllll years ago. These le
marknble urli. ins, ninny of whom
were priests high in nut horily, were
well aeipiaiiPeil with glass staining,
and displayed Ihe highest iillistie skid
iu lii-ir tints an I designs. Th"c dors
were perfectly iuc irpoialed with tin'
structure of the vitrified substance
and wvr pia ly clear on both sides.
The priests of Piah, at .Memphis, had
a laeiory for the lu innf iel uro of ol
ilin ny -hiss, and also di voled their
attention to imitating precious stones,
succeeding so well that specimens now
found require nu expert to distin
guish them from the real gems. They
uci'c also acquainted with Ihe u.o of
the diamond for cutting glass, A
specimen of henillii'ilily stained glass,
now in the JlrilMt Museum, has the
cogni.aiicj of Thothmes ill engraved
upon it.
Spun glusi was li:-.'. brought into
pia.'t cil use about fu'ty years ago by
Jilies do I'iriiuliiill, a French chemist,
although the art of spinning glass was
practised long before that mil". lie
made a thorough stu ly of the subject
iu Y.i una. H- tirst siiece.-iled iu soft
en leg the hard, sluuv i licet of the
f:!ass fabric, g ving it a siiky i ft'ect
j that was much more plca-iii-. Next
he en lenuiicd lo re luce its hritilcis
by ma!. in-, a spun i 1 a .s, wii tin. ads
were much liner than those of silk,
and whos' ti x;u;e was much like that
of wool. 'This -hiss could l ea-lily be
wovon and all kinds of articles were
iiiude from it. Among other things
it wiih esoe -i'llly us fill for surgical
use, owing to its aiuisc ptie properties
Hid its ch-aiiliiiess. The lad that
;.;lass is uiiatlacked bv in i.-.t neidn made
the fabric Useful for" 1 aborntori lil.ers,
dinl nearly nil well- quipped estab
lishments Use them. The cloth is,
be.-id s, uou-coiiibistible an I a poor
3 inductor of heal. A. tile individual
liocl's are perfectly in'ii-abs ubelit,
grease spots and stains can be readily
removed. For this same iva.-o!i the
cloth cannot b dyed, but It can be
spun of colored glass and the color is
fast and unchanging.
Fp to th beginning of (he sixteenth
century the glass u,.-d ill s.iinod gla-s
work was what is known ns "pot
metal," that is, it was colored iu mass
through its t in ire substance. Painting
was only in-e l to bring out (lie shad
ing and line line work, and tiie pnim
was always brown, wh.eli was after
wards "iiri d" into i-lass. I lurimr the
sixteenth f'liturya rich yellow stain,
obtained by the use of silver sails,
eaine into uso. It was also used upon
bin.! glass lo produce green i If e!-.
Shortly afterward I he in egular depths
of tint in th" el,.,.. were first Uliiie.l
to give luod-lilig'. The ruby giat-s
Used at ihls tim was made by plae ng
a thin layer ol nil y "put metal" upon
the surfiie of a sheet of whit- glass
an 1 welding the two together by heat,
as the t u'uy alone le e Hue op:iq ie as
Mem as any thickness was icaelnsl. It
soon i ecui red to sum one to it or
grin 1 away the ruby surface to pi o
ilueo white figures mi the red ground.
By staining the expired portions, tin y
Were also able to get rich yellow and
l ed c ml rast .. This led to extending
the practice lo other colored "pot
m 'lab." until a great vaii-ly of beau
tiful etb cts were pro Iuc
When ijass contains I it 1 1 or no
lime it shows a iu irked tendency lo
become opaque upon cooling, proba
bly owing to minute ervstalii.atioii
throughout its structure. The so
called alabaster glass is made by re
hea'ing glass of this kind ami allowing
it to cool slow ly. Opalescent gla-s is
that winch possesses the same tendency
ill less degree. A g I "mix," as it
is called by glass workers, for alabas
ter glass is ill I parts of quart sand,
forty-live parts of potash, three parts
f calcined borax and live parts of
silicate of magnesia. Scientific Amer
ican. th'iici 'ill bnmt in .l.ip.inrse Hies.
In th (' -in ury is printed a trans
lation of portions of a pi i in t -lap Hi
es - life of (i neral (iriut. The fo low
lowing is an extract from i: :
In th) spring of his seventeenth
year he expressed a great thought t i
his filth r, in 1 allr'sol hi u siv
ing, "I have in my mill I the thought
that, when lour years from today h av
passed I shall not be doing this kii.d
of labor." The lather, thinking it a
tt range Fling, sail, "I) i y u hat
your father's hi'iedit'iiy tral? 1)
you 1'ato to become u leather maker.
and spend your life thus? hat pro
fession, then, do you expect to adopt
in future? I)u you expect to g into
the fields currying a sickle an I a h e:'?
Do you exp ot lo buy and sell t hiu g
ill the market, or do you fix your eye
balls on books of lU.IMil volume-, mid
desire to speculate reus ms nnd pro
mote moralities and become a man of
w ide kiiowledg ?"
(iuraiid Kueii, r. 'plying to to these
qu-st ions sai l, "To eiilliv iln the field
nml become a farmer is well, but to
spend the whole life us u hireling is
imt well. To tuke ii S irobau (count
ing machine) nnd become n merchant
nnd gain profit is well, but along with
ii to make bad praelic . is not my de
sire. Contrary to all this, our an
cestors, in the war of indcpoudciic of
this country, sowed great merit, 1
' hear. I also, eiit -ring a military
school, will have to show my arm iu
, the time of great thing.. O, Father
Kiu n, how is it?" The father, being
exceedingly glad, did us ho wished.
The Wonderful Human Fish.
One of the oddest human freaks
that ever saw the light of day iu the
Fniled Slates, or, possibly iii any
other country, is Herman Schephr,
who was bolll at Cleveland, Ohio, in
1. At Inst accounts the little fel
low was living with Ins parents on St.
( lair street, iu the abo i-naim-d eily,
nnd was as birght and h appy as boys
of his age Usually are. Herman has a
handsome, intelligent face, and shape
ly, sunburnt hands. In tie', to all
i tiiward appear me he i-- an ordinary
boy, but those who Ltio.v him best say
tiial the o.ily parts of nis anatomy th il
aii' covered wit.i com n ei huaiau ..kin
are his face, neck, han Is and feet, n i l
that the other portions of his body
are literally i neased in liny, dark blue
lish scales. From the neck to the
ankles this wond-rfiil coal of mail so
thoroughly covers tiio body that not
the slightest section of siiin bourn. g
any si-iui-laliee to that ol the h im m
being is i-.iblc. The family ws re
pi rfect'y horror-stricken when the lit
tle "li-h baby" was born, mid for
more than s-ven years managed to
keep the matter a profound si cret
However, little Herman':' play nates
filially learned that their Companion
w is a veritable lish. Tuis soon leaked
out and the matter became public.
I uu 1 r .tiiM 1 that doctors nu I pro
fessors who have recently exaiiuu-d
the boy are unanimous iu pronouncing
him to be the "etgh h wonder of the
world. New Yol k Journal.
I.urircsl S.tlm hi liter Caught.
.Ins! what is the weight of the larg-e-1
salmon caught in ('ulumbia is un
ci rtaiu a- so many people who have
to do witii li-!i are given to ho ing iri
certaiii iu their stateuu nts, bat the
i I' hi of testimony is in favor of
about eighty pounds, as the outside
liuul of the Chinook, w ith u hazy tradi
tion, winch no one believes, of one
having' une. been cm .'ill by some oli
somewhere, wineli w eio h-d ab nit 101
pounds. Tins has bei n a season of
lliuisu dly hug" li-li. and many weigh
ing troiii sixty to s. vi nty pounds have
been lak li ; but t Ie-v ly largest heard
of is reported b, M ". .1. M. T. Har
rington of Pillar Kick, who wrote to
I'vel'dii.g A Fan. II. recently, that
a salmon v.. ighiug eighty-1 hree
pounds had been brought iu bv one of
their b nits, adding thai it was the
I largest o night this vc-ir, and also the
j largest any one nt th" e iniieiy had
j CUT seell. It is quite probable that
j this Is the largest salmoll 1'iCoi.l.
r I mil I lie lolt I in I ( M'egouiaii.
Arranging lor his (In a I nn r.il.
This is a cheerful story that Mr.
Thweutt, the llasiein passenger agent
of th" Southern Knlwiy, loll me.
One day there c nne mio his New Y.o k
olliee a di I ic.te-1. ok i u g man, who
begged 11 lew llloue-llls' private cotiv.T-
I satioii. hen it was '-runted he said :
"I came to see nlioiit having a dead
body e irric.l to Florida. I want to
innke nil the in i ang. lie nts so there
wul b no confusion ipo- mistake. "
A lid he g I Ve th" till lie and in Id less alld
every possiMe dileelioi', ixo.pt the
time at which the body was to be
called lor. Win ii Mr. l iiweilt asked
that, the man said :
"1 e in't tell yvu ij. vi cae:U. It
will be within a month, and you wnl
be iiotili-il of the tune later.''
"Why, whose body is it?" gasped
the astonished passenger agent.
"Mine," was the answer, and iu less
than a month it was nil as the sick man
hud said. ilvei ything was done as he
had directed. Washington Post.
I!ia'ry Ituu Mail.
Tourist bill's your rival across
the road keep a pretty good hotel?
L mdlord (io d ; well 1 d-m't
think. Why last su mm r tit fat boy
from a museum hoarded with him, nn'
when ho got back to Ne.v Y.ok ho i.,ot
au eugageinunt as a skeleton dado.
Where l.ove (Joes.
When L ive wiiinlets liiraway,
l.ove i-nri never renin ;
lie is I.iive al way, a I way -
Singi't'i still rif home.
If Ihe storms or ti'iri-ls l.lii.v.
I.-ive iiiiili-s all t Iks lill"t itr-iw.
1 give i.'Vself to .,vi' ;
Nothing is so sweel, ,
J'roiu ll ur.'s that ernwa aliov',
To Ills si,,ere,l lei'l :
If no riiin'imv spiuis ilieskje--,
Jly sw - t heaven sillie s in I.ove's eje-'
- 1'll.VNK I.. tSl VMoN.
iir.Mouoi s.
The only trouble with tho fool's pal-'
ndise i-, the ii evilable i xpiilsinu.
"A nd you're sure you waul me for
myself, I'lck?" "No, for myself. "
Smoggs Talk is cheap. Not when
it's over a long distance telephone.
Of all sorts ol emb u rns iiieiit, that
of riches is lh" most easily overcome.
Igiioraaee of lh- law d u s not pre
vent tho losing lawyer Iroiii collecting
his bill.
A 11 i is a relation of yours bv'
marriage, 1 believe? J! - Ye , lu
inarii' d my girl.
lb- -your husband is gem-ions to a
fault. She Ye.--, but tiie double i:l
that I am not a l.iult.
Wife That's a perfect dream of a
bonnet. Husband - Y. s ; but i'ii
bet it c ist a regular nightmare of a
price.
The hright aml'it i"iH mercury
J h ate I to a i'Iuti y re I.
And the Initt-r and th- -iiin-iii-r girl
.Arc l 'giiiiiia ; now to nias- a spron !.
Miss Aniati iir - Are vuu musical,
Pnf. listen? Prof, li si ,:; Y. s, but
il 'you were going to play anything
don't mind my feeling .
The C nint (who has had a little till
with h.s li incee, tin- lieir,,-.-) - K it, my
treasure. Tiie heiress--Your treasure?
Your iuv. siiueut, you mean?
lie -W, 11, what do you think of tho
ocean? She It is imt nearly n largo
ns I t him Jit ll would be. Why, it
nn r. 1 i .x:ends to the horizon.
Mr-. I5.ai-.vn I thought you said it
was the little boy next d-nir who was
liuikiii i all th ' lioisi ? rso it was, inn.
I was beating him iwth a .-.tic',..
illihae, Is it trim that you don't
spend a.s much inoii-'v n m as you did
In-fore you were married? Paeketl
It is. 1 wish 1 could say the sun.)
'.lilng of my w ife.
"My expenditures in vs-r eve ed my
I'eCeipts," SMld lliwi.llls, "Mill" iln,"
sigln-d Wiikins. "In fact , I am very
much afraid I shii! never hav. any re
L'cipts for soiu o! my l.ist y ear's i x
penditures." 1' ir sti'iiiner maiil-u. 1 w old -.:v
I'll- in s-s' way I-' w
This s a-"ii is t- su mg all a i,-
la a hanon-ii i oil I lot w .
Sho went into a shop t. buy setu-i
toilet soap, and w h i" 1 1 u i-le'pman
was is intuiting om its pn-rit-, about
inali' up h-r nun 1 to pmehnse. but
when h- state I, "It would keep etf
oliau-,' she said she did l l want that
kind.
Husband My dear, I wish you
rto'i'd I' t me cm v til it fowl. I am
. ure I would make il go l.-u ther.
Wil 1 know veil en! I. I've seen
you sen 1 it I'lgu' .tl th-- table ii ii I 1
wouldn't a'ti nipt to m ike it go fur
ther Inn that.
"Now. sir." said the profotsor of
medicine, "yon in iv tell me to what,
class of !n da lies insomnia belongs."
"Why el' " leplle 1 the indolent
youth, "it 's a eon I il j ion , . j e is.'. " "I
iievci le-ard it so des-ri bed. Where
did y mi learn ot this?" 'From ex-
pei iei Win n. -r mv iieigbor's
log- iTi'l -de . I'm ja-.t as waki fill in
In i."
A lliii'se With a Sweet TmiiIIi.
II. F. I hump on. a sugar planter,
living leoir 'et in 1 1 ion. La., owns a
m ire, liii ii.-lta, lh U might, iu a dif
Icieiii loeil t, prove a very expen
sive b t of prop -rty. I'.irnctta was
was b un and riised on a can- planta
tion, and const int intercourse with
i. s.ic..eiruic commodity has devel
oped in h-r a sweet too'li, which
nothing but a most generous simply
of sugar s em s to s at s'v. In fact, sho
refuses tu eat until hi r to i i has In en
properly sy oeti nod, not less thill two
poiiii Is ot sugar being stirred into her
bran nt i very meal, and a quail of
lil-iblsses must be added to each bucket
ot water bofor ! it satisfies h-r lastldl
oils taste. Fortunately, sugar m
ph iiti'iil and the mare is a valuable
one, so Thompson cheerfully humors
her whim in tins muter. St. Louis
tt.oln - Democrat.
Iiu'oi i lation fur Die Curious.
The m in w ho sent .$1 lust week in
an .w. r tu an a lv -rii-em nit promising
to tell how to in ike s go as far as jjo
got bis answer ycslord iv. It was a
sma-llc ird on which was neatly printed :
"Mall both to Sail 1' i-aiicisci. " -
Soniei villo JoiiruaL
till
r.
W
I!
Si