(Chatham Itecortl. -Eljatfjam Record RATES or ADVERTISING Out- square, one insertion- $1.00 One square, two insertions - 1.50 One square, one month 8.80 For larger advertisements liberal ton racts will be made. EDITOR AND PKOPKIETOR. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, $1.50 PIR YEAR Strictly in Advance. VOL. XVII. riTTSIJOUO', CHATHAM CO., N. 0., AUGUST 15, 1805. NO. 51. Mil When Poetry Dies. When Tootry dips, nor sister twin, 8 west Musie, will bo dumb, 'Aud tho warm, throbbing heart of. T,ove will soon grow cold mid numb; ''be ltoyul Hislyrhood of Art, with alow nud nerveless trPad, Will wonder aimlessly about, litK-muo tliulr muimmi Is dead. tVliPn l'notry dies, Wil mid Itomiinw will dolt their trappings gay ; Aud spiritless will walk tho earth in number robes of gray ; Language will lly to M!i'k a borne .-m, tb beasts and birds, And human speech become a soulless skvlo- ton of word When Poetry U'ps, cold Vuboliof will put Faith to rout, And human souls bo shrouded ill Hi') deadly lUlstS of dolllit ; Bright, smiling Hope, affrighted, thou to other spheres will lly. And Willi despairing tears will wash hor rain bow from the Hky. When poetry dies, nb'ivo her tomb tho (uncled vines shall wav And bluo-oyed violets weep their dowy tears upon the grave; So mortal choir shall altix her dirge, but let her requiem be, The sighing of the sumncr wind, tho sob bing of the m a. J.tins J'Kiiliv lln.i.s, l:i Migav-.ino of Poetry. A GARDEN PARTY. ltv MAimr. itoiii:irrsoN I'ntil n your after Michael Burn's ileal h Mary, his wife, maintained u (leeoi'oii-i show if grief. Michael hud been a I hrifty person, and his widow was Hot fnivi'il into unpleasant straits o I tin ill in i !i for liim when sho liud nothing to mourn with. There was not il widow in Biillingwood had heavier weed. The tombstone she erected was tho talk of tho town. No reflection could therefore be c.isl !!ion tlie behavior of llio borrow ing Mrs. limns, Mid when in due c jtirso a suitor presented liiinsell' tho most captions neighbor could not take exception to tin; lad that ho ih mi ni it tf I to the widow's presence. The nsiirant for the late .Michael' marital honors was a clean shnvcii gentleman, one Patrick Mel) -try by inline, by oc cupation an auctioneer, an I with all tin) lavishness of esjolory lit Iii'k coiii maiiil that his profession necessitated, lie wt nt conlide:it !;. into tlm widow'" it t In hilling-room uu I emanated, as 111.: whole in igilb il lloO I Collld ti'nllt'v, williameiii th it c mid neither tut Clllle.l fluted Hot' VI t ib'pl'. SSed. It was merely p ,'iisiv.'. Whether Mrs. Burns had leuipered her refusal with iill'eetiolialo oil i is of tdnterlmoil, or had iii 'i-ely postpone. I tlm In-nring of Ills proposals, ill ; neighbors Wi le HII alile to decide. A few Weeks lull I' lllloliler Hllitol' plts-llted iiilllsell, frankly coll fi't hi n-.' himself to lu- liii".l t Iii her by the Coler if the late M ieliarl's, money, al though th widow wus a line figure of Il Woman, an 1 lucky would lie the mull that H. cured her comely ch irms. He was not like some others lie could name, who had to kissih) Blarney hloiio every morning when tiny woke, lor feel' tin y would Hot be III. I" to hut ler voil no tho whole tlav long, and who pretended 1 lit t onu glniic i from the widow's i'Vi'h was worth her whole cot tage and lour acres. "No need to liaiuo naiucH, but lli:. in in I me in is not worthy to plant one potato for you -believe me, m I'ani, Mislross Burns, lint it is a dill -rent soi l of a man that is kn 'cling at your feel now: too holiest to pretell I to lu lilind to w hat no one could lui blind to, since there was not in the neighborhood nboiit Mich an unencumbered hit of land; and if u human creature; could bo that unseeing, Mistress burn; for I'll not be calling the maun hypocrite, although he is generally known by that name then it's certain he's no muu of business, ai all ; and no good business woman like yours. If, mi'iiiu, would bo wanting a life partner that did not know a good bargain when he hiiw olio. " This plausible, reasoning was not without its o fleet uu Mrs. Burns, ns her small Hprvniit, who would cheer fully hive lost her plm-a rather than forego tho pleasure of listening from tho tit t io overhead, ropo.'ted to the an xious community. lint stca.lf istly adheriiig to tho lino of ;ricf stricken abstiiienco bho had worked out for herself, tho widow dismiss i.l the ho'i ist, man Mr. Thomas Kjan by inline, ns hho had ilone his wily predecessor, until Mich lini! tis tho forco of her yriif should havo in soino nieasuro H.ent itself. Hardly a wook passed, however, be fore Mrs. Hnrus was nniu visited by a pining' lover. This titui it was n forlorn widower seeking consolation. Mr. Martin O'Brien had lost his itpouso nliout the samn time Mrs. Hums had Biifl'ered her marital hs, mid ho ivuno to miuh) his tears with hers, and in the shedding of them to cause tho new hopes, which were a'.rcn.ly jjropu upon tho graven of both dour doparted, to blossom iu the hearts of tho Borrowing relicts. Ho brought a small poem embodying the above ilea and uobliingly read it aloud to the widow. She was visibly moved. Mr. O'Brien beenmo mure puthetic, and his tearful uttcraiiccM inoro heart-rend ing. No one but Mrs. Burns could weigh tho depth of tho grief into which ho was poured, and Mrs. Burns, whose mind was iinulivo to mixture of metaphors, heard admiringly tho ex pose of tho position she was occupy ing in tho mind of Mr. O'Brien. Sho alone could give tho solace; bho aloiio fill tho blank. Sho ulolio was the sympathetic m ite for whom his soul yearned. Nevertheless, Mr. O'Brien departed, 10 iving, it is true, his poem behind him, and bearing with him, in ex chango Mrs. Burns' promi.su for fu ture hearing. By this time tho hpring tiiuo was shedding its softening influences with gentle lavishucHS about tho e.irth.and as was meet with tho season, another's fancy lightly turned to thoiighs of love and Mary Burns. The last of tho four suitors was u htraii.er, Mi". An thony Long, wlio cam ! iu tho early, bright days from the lumber camps up on the North Shore, und who an nounced himself to hive been the dear frend of the lite Mr. Burns. Michael had died away from home, and the htranger ha 1 tended him iu his last illness. Mich u l h id died in his arms, and tli ! iu.wc mi'T brought a ring which the deceased had given him as a legacy. Furthermore, he came out of respect to tho request the dying Michael h id mad ;--that sine;) there was no m ill livnr? to whom ho would entrust t ho we! faro of his wile except the man at present Hjieaking, Mistress Burns; mid that's for whit ho is h -re now, iu obedience to Mr. Burns' command to marry hi widow and protect her forever. The, widow su-pen led the grief which lei, I bro'ieii out afresh at tho pathetic recital of her husband's latter c. i.l to observe licit ii w is very sudden. Shortly afterward, however, Mr. Long also took his departure without u defi nite acceptance of bis offer to share Mis. Burns' lot and cottage and the three thousand d.iU irs' life in-urauce 011 her late lill-lialel. As the went in r bee unes milder, riv alry h is ml led its .'-I and Mrs. Burns' lovers lieeaiji ; more iirdciil. By this timelier firs! p'liolof morning uus over, an 1 sin; felt that she might now decorously cut 'f int i social enjoy ments, and i veil in lu!.;.! iu the lux ury of matrimony. As we havo seen, opportunities for the latter were with in giaspii-g distune-. Why, then, did not Mr. Burn i re ward tho chosen of her heart? Tho d.lli 'ulty was this. I'. io h suitor oli'etvd und -mnbhi advantage over the other three, and the widow could not in ike up her mill I as to which of tho four hiiperior iitliactions'would con tribute most to In r future comfort, she having reached the ago when pruden tial e mis d :iut loin ell'ect matrimonial selection i. Mr. Ling's boldness at tracted her, as mid icily usually at tracts worn en, and his cire of her late spoils- gave ii i ! it a claim over her. Mr. O'Brien inspired her with ii mild pity wii.'c i ii akin to a feeling that it usu ally considered desirable iu wedlock. Mr. I'.g.iu bad certainly a good head for business; and Mr. Mcl lorry was that polite a gentleman any widow lady might lu proud to go through life with. Sho could not decide which one to i-M louse. Meanwhile th;! nspirauta pressed their claims and the widow tempori.ed. Finally, sho hit upon a happy expe dient. Behind her cottago extended a nice bit of garden, yet not spaded up. The neighbors' gardens were in their Kpring attire, and it behooved .Mrs. Ibrriis'.Oo.tVto bo behindhand. This Inet, united with the choice hho was called upon to make, suggested the idea of shitting tho responsibility for both upon the shoulders of tho four gallants who wished to share hor for tune. Following this inspiration sho sent wold to tho niitors to be present at her houi ) a certain day. Naturally, each arrived with tlittering punctual ity, and naturally cvino.-d more or loss disgust at the company ho found himself in. However, Mrs. Burns w is prompt iu her cxpltiuat ion. Sho took them out into Iht! gnrden, showed theiii the ground divided into four par;s, pointed out the garden lit us Is tm each part, an I then announced her 11 1 1 i 1 1 1 lit 11 ! II. 1'ieli suitor was ni-sigtied a portion of th;' gard n, which he was to dig up, rake over, clean, und prepare for seed, i'he man who would show the best re sults when litj-'ht cunt was to receive the w idow 's hand. The nvals accepted the task with ru, -lui aluc'ity, a id set to work- All duy long they labored, and aurely o garden was never better prepared. When the suu sank four exhausted men waited the widows inapoctioa. Preseutly Mrs. Burns appeared, at tired iu the full glory of her heaviest mourning this being an occasion for ceremony rather than festivity. Sho walked slowly about tho garden, ex amined each plot carefully und criti cally, and then disjiassionutely gave her decision. Iu her opinion tho work had been best done hero a dramalic pause by Mr. Patrick MoDerry, and to him therefore sho gave her baud. Thorn was a calmness about Mrs. Bums that forbade audibio protest, only Mr. Kgau beiug heard to remirk as they went away that it was always tho blarney that caught tho women. Only a month elapsed before Pat rick was iu full possession of tho wid ow's charms, monetary and otherwise. 'I'ficy aro very happy but unless Mr. MeDerry refrains from one remark there will bo broken heads. He is wont to observe to the neigh borhood that he is at his happiest when sitting on tho back steps of his wife's house looking upou the garden that his rivals helped spade. Now York Advertiser. First Public Street Limiting. The first public system of street lighting was established iu Antioeh iu 51)3 A. I). The order icstill preserved which provided that lamps should bo kept burning throughout tho night. No public system of lWhting tho the streets was ever established in (ireice. Home; or iu tho Kgyptian cities. It was tho custom, howovor, for tho O iveriinii'iit to illuminate tho streets iu u lavih manner on tho De cision of any public festival. Tho most curious of these, perhaps, was tho "l-Vstival of L.imiM," hold iu Egypt before the Christian era, wh&i thousands of lumps woro plaod in tho streets and kept buruing through out tho night. Paris was tho first modem city to uiiiku an;. provision for lighting tho streets. Tho first legislation on tho hitbjeet whs tho passage of u law re quiring tho eiti.Mn to keep lights burning iu front of thoir houses aftor 11 o'clock. A few of tho citizens obeyed tho law, but tho streets were left almost as dirk and iu dangerous as ever. The next step was for tho (ioveriim.'iit to soil privilege. to pri vate persons, permitting them to rent. liinteriiH and torches to b dated citi zens by the hour. Tho next city to illuminate its streets was London, and tlcro a num ber of experilii-.-uts were tried. lu llliillu! Mayor of London issued an ortler that lanterns should bo linn,' out on winter evenings between All l'lallowon and t'aiidlcinas. During the rest of tho year tho streets welo left in darkness. Aincilcaits Have Bel'cctlve Voico. An authority on the culture of the human voico liuds that although wo have more schools of elocution than any other country, the voices of both our men and women aro very defect ive. The faults of tho latter uro lack of strength, an iiuplcasint high pitch that ho calls a "tpiaeky quality,' over-eniphasis, and u prevailing cir cumflex accent that is designated as "the silly twist." The tpiaeky tpiali ty Mr. Osgood of the Boston School of Oratory calls "tho ungoutloiitiss of our women's voices that has attracted most attention abroad." Professor Carson of Cornell finds fault with the American voice and with tho read ing of tho American college student, "who in tiinety-niiio chsoh out of a hundred reads cx-tcniporo iu a bung ling way, with imperfect articulation." Looking backward, it seems to Pro fessor ('arson that tho old method of his boyhood, "reading distinctly and minding tho htops," much reading aloud at home, and an understanding of that which was rend, produced more simple, holiest," and cultivated readers than more modern methods. Professor C.irson also believes iu the sweet and gracious voice of woman as a reslraiug and civilizing influence. New York Post. (iuiile Posts to Oases. Signs iu the desert, indicating tho trails and giving directions as to tho nearest springs and wells of fresh water, are to bo erected by Arizona and Ciilifurnia iu tho desolate regions on either aide of the Colorado Biver, where so tinny tragedies have oc curred through miners tiud others losing their way or living from thirst. The signs are high polos of gas pipe with big Htpnires of sheet iron at tho top, and tiro painted red, as that is the color that CH'i be seen the greatest distance in that region. Tho letter ing will tell the distance from point to point and the location of tho rear tet water holes. New York Suu, (lUUUtKVS (OIl.MN. "ill) E Ml. A I1! MSY." " (iiv. t.e a I'l'iuiv, griindpu, plea"'; l in g- iii to buy - for you -A aiek of candy, and, I s'po--, I'll eat some of II. to i : For tilings tast-. belter don't you know Wle'li peopl-i Mmro ' "a ; I lliiuk so." JJ'.st'iii Wn'.'liinau. Till', COSlt KsrS OK PHXSl T-, Washington n !Ver m id i a sp .-ech. In th) zenith of his lam) ho 01120 at tempted it, failed, and gave it up con fused and aba-h... I- In framing the constitution of tho United Slates, the labor was almost wholly performed in committeo of the whole, of which George Washington whs, day after day, chairman, nud he mailt but two speeches during tin, convention, of a very few words each, Bimethitig like one of (irant's speeches. The c inven tion, however, acknowledged tho mas ter spirit, and historians afllrm that had it not been for his personal popu larity, oud tho thirty words of his first speech, pronouncing it tho best th it could be united upon, the constitution would havo been rejected by the pen plo. Thomas Jefferson never made a speech. Ho couldn't do it. Napoleon, whoso executive ability is almost without a parallel, said that his diflieulty was iu linding uieu of deeds rather than words. When asked how ho maintained his influence upon his superiors in age and cxporieueo when commander in chief of an army in Italy, ho said: "By reserve." Tho great ness of a man is not measured by the length of his speeches and their num ber. Chicago Times-Herald. A FAMOI'S WAI.r.. The eptiro history of C'ii.iin, liko that of Egypt, is divided into dynas ties. Tho great Chinese wuy was ba guu by Che-whatig-te, fust emperor of tho Tsin dynasty. It forms tho northern boundary of China, and was built to prevent invasions from that direction. Every third man in tho empire was retpiired to give his help to build it, and it took live years to complete it. Tho wall is not solid, but consists of two thick walls tilled with earth; every foot of tho found ition, how ever is of solid granite. Il is lined with battlements an I towers, and is so wide that six hors sin m in iv easily ridi.' abreast on its top. 1 he towers are about I DO yards up iri ami there aro stops here aud there for pMsomi to ascend. Beceiitly in a survey for a Ciiineso railway, this stupendous barrier was measured. The measurement gave the height as eighteen feet and the length as thirteen hundred miles. It goes over the moiintaius and plains, crosses rivers and traverses great marshes. It is estimated to contain enough ma- terial to girdle tho earth with two wall seven feet, in height. DAIN'TV AMIMAI.S. "No doubt cits, large and siniill, iniiko the most careful of nnimal toi lets, with the exception of home of the opossums," wriles a contributor to the Spectator. "Lions and tigers wash themselves in exactly the same manner as the ilom stic oit, wetting the dark, iinlia-rubber-like ball of tho forefoot and tho inner toe, and pass ing it ovt r tho face an I behind th) ears. "One of the most charming pots wo have kept, and one most particu lar as to its feet and fur, was a lovely brown opossum from Tasmania. It washed its face cverv two or threo minutes, aud would pay tho sumo at tention to the ears, hair or hands of any ono on whose shoulder it was al lowed to sit. "Once, having upset u bottle of turpeatino over ils hands, it almost fretted to death because it could not removo tho scent. O Idly enough, it would retire during the day ton chim ney, and tlid not object to the soot in its fur, perhaps considering it 'clean dirt,' as children do earth. "Ono small spaniel, which we al lowed to live in the house, was well aware that if he returned dirty ho would not bo admitted indoors. About an hour before the chue of the day 'a shooting ho used to strike work and begin to clean himself; and if urged to ilo more would slip home and pre sent himself neat and clean in tho tim ing room. "Ono day the dog had been left at home, and his muster returned aud seated himself by the fire, wet and with hiilf-fro.eu drops of ieo sticking to his gaiters. " Pan ran up and carefully licked oil' the frozen ice and snow, stopped now aud then to give an anxious look, which said as plainly as possible, Dear me, if 1 don't get him clean quickly, he will be s oit to lie iu the table.' "-Atlanta Journal, MADSTOXI; Cl'KHS. A Correspondent Tells of fjomo Remarkable Remit:?. CurlnR tho Bites of H ihid Dog.-; and Poisonous Ilrptlles. A CiHcowill, Vs., correspondent of the New York Sun writes about tho fame of tin- Pointer minl-doiio in his lioyimo I. It was ow ne 1, he says by old Mr. To u Pointer, und tho mar velous cure's wrought by this Mono were well known. Colonel John Wiui-bi-.li of II ilil'iix county, now very old and an inmate of the Leo Camp i f 'oiifeilernte Veterans, has on several Decisions told m" of wonderful cures wrought by tho Pointer stone. He told also that tho late l.". tirimviilo Cra block, curly in his lit'.; ns a prac titioner of medicine, ma le great sport of the ma Istoue. D. Crad lock was, in his day, as celebrated a physician ns perhaps any man in Virginia. After some years, however, Dr. ('ruddock became fully convinced that tho mad stotie whs panacea iu all cases of bite s of rabid dogs or poisoiioin rep tiles or inseels. This I know to bo ti n ', nud 1 will tell what I h ivo had under my own experience. My father h id a ma Ltotie, nud I now- have it. The first use I had for it was in the c.i-.o of a little colored girl, my slave, in lsii.'i. I had a very elegant bird dog, a red Irish setter, lb, was uuilsiiilly intelligent and per fectly good tempered. Suddenly he began to show temper, and to bite tho other dogs that came about him, and finally ho seized this little girl and bit her hand severely. Mr. Moore, a refugee from II nnpt ni, was living with mi, and he sai l tint the. dog was mad. I told him of tho loadstone, and ho sat by the girl for several hours, applying the stone. It would stick until fully charged with the virus and then drop oil', when ho would drop it into tepid water, and it would emit tho poison, which would rise to the top. This treatment entirely relieved tho child. the wouuds healed promptly, and hhe is now a healthy woman with a family of thirteen children. Never having seen a rabid dog, 1 chained the setter up to wateh tho result. 1 fouii 1 that he had no fear of water. lie would douse his li.-.nl into the bucket mid try to drink, but from the swollen condition of his tongue or paralysis of the throat, I tin not. know which, he could not drink. I kept him for several days, until it becnine so pain ful to tin; to set! his hiitV'liligs that I killed liim. I will state further that he never failed to recogniz me at any time, and I do not believe that there was a time while I kept him that ho would havo bitten me, for he was al ways glad to !.nve me near him. My next use of the stone was on a lliorongh-brod mare. My stableman saw her bitteu by a big inoccsiu snake, which hekiilel at otiee. He led tin: mare htniigiit to th- hou-e and showed me where see w.n bitten. I shiiM'd the hair off, and there were plainly visible two small punctures where the fangs struck. I applied the niadsloii..' to each wound, and there was instant, relief, lor there was not the slightest hwelliu ; on her leg the next morning. The next time I had ooo ision to use it was on my hon. When a little bare foot boy he stuck a rusty nail into his heel. The wound became very much inflamed, and threw him into a fever. I sent for Dr. Hubert 1). Bnskervill, at thnt day perhaps tho most Iciirucd medical man in our region. IF stayed with him for forty-eight It, his trying to produce suppuration from the wound. Before lying down for a little much nee led rest the second night, Dr. Bnskervill told mo tint he saw marked evidences of tetanus, and that, ho had great fe its for the little fol low. I sat. by his bedside alone. Ho was iu great agony and tossed from side to side constantly. What it-was I do not know, bit nt about It o'clock 1 thought of th mid alone. I had never h -ai d of its use in -such a case, bill conclii I 'd that it would certainly tin no harm to try it. 1 got it, nud with the sharp point of my knife, picked out the bard, blaok scab from tho wound and touch d a corner of tho stone to it. It stuck liken leech, and within half an hour, the child was iu a calm sleep. Ho awoko refreshed and almost free of fever and whs well iu a short time. I lent the stone to Dr. V. M. Eppes, an intelligent and reputable physician. A hard-working farmer eamo to him one morning before ibiy. He had been shearing sheep tho diy before, and had knocked a piece of skin from one of his builds. He thought noth ing of it at the time, but awoke about midnight in great agony. Bis hand and snu were swollen. He tried again to sleep, but the pain was so intense that ho hud to walk the floor. It grew oro ho rapidly that he got his horso mid hurried to Dr. Eppes. The Doc t r hal no confidence iu the stone but it was an unusual case and he thought he would give it a trial. The pain began to abate almost instantly and w it bin a short t inn- was relieved and the patient hiill'ere 1 no more from it. Hare ami Costly Foxskins. Most of you have read quotations of silver fox skins an I black lux skins, but did you ever see one. The chance are thai if you aro not in the fur busi ness yon never tlid. Only K!.l were taken in the whole worl 1 last seaion, nud every year all of these go to llus- sni, where they are the fur cf the royalty ami the nihility. The other day trudging up the .Journal stairs came Hunuewell, the Smth Danville fur king. Ho is a real Yankee at a trad., a hustling b tyer, who Inn n,'onU in th) Nova SmUiis nud iu Cape Breton and all along tho rich fur-bearing c iiritrios, mil his trans actions amount to S"0.Dil) a year and upward. I'u Ft his iiriu Hunuewell ben.' n pickiigo, whic'.i he tossed light ly to the floor of the reporters' room and disturbed the quiet of the several "desks" at work. "There, "said h", "is something you novcrsaw before eight elver fox skins iu one bunch. There they lire four of th"iu beauties, four of thum ordinary." Tho four lirst named were beautiful skins, pare deep black along the buses of the necks, silver tipped along the backs, while the (ails were just shimmered with the silver white. The fur was soft and line, beautiful to the touch. "That skin," said Mr. Hunuewell, testing out one, "is worth $'''. This ono is worth tJloO. If that one were iisblnck as this an. I was as heavy and soft as it is now it would bo worth $d )0 easily. Considering that only FJ'J were taken last year, nud that I got twenty-four of them, 1 think 1 got my share. These ciime from Cape Breton, aud I never had so many iu one bunch be fore." Lewiston (Me.) Journal. Vim eil I'niiti the Oregon. We were talking of wrecks at sea. I have b. en iu several and am still alivo to tell the tale. Tin) most remark able i. fall was the losr, of the Oregon. Mvstt :ry slid l.a':gs around it. Its sinking was like the sinking of an island city oil' the coast of Spain. There was one accident connected w ith the going down of this magnificent steamship that invariably ea ises mo to laugh when 1 think of it. Mr. and Mrs. Collis P.. Huntington were among the passengers returning from a t nir of Europe, lutho excitement of getting oil' in the boats they were separated, Mrs. Huntington, with other ladies, being hurried away in one of the largo boats f.iiward of the second cabin. The sea was almost calm but the bunt was so heavily loaded that the gunwales were within an inch or two of tin; water, and a slight movement earned it to dip. Sud lenly Mrs. Hunt ington, wiio hal kept up her courage w ell, sprang up mid shoute 1 w ith a tear ful voice : "My Collis. Oh, where is my Col lis? 1 She clasped lo r hinds and looked aiix'ously towards the last sinking ship. "Sit down," roared one of tho sailers, as the water rait over tho side, "But my Collis! Where is my Col lis?" "Sit down I say. Confound your collars. You ought to be glad you save I yourself." New York Press. (Jiicpii Victoria; MenN. (, teen Victoria is rather simplo in her tastes, as a rule. 1'or instance, a kind of natural soup very often finds its way on to the nieiiu. The wine served with it is white sherry, which ! her Majesty generally drinks from a beautiful gold cup formerly belonging to F'uoeu Anno. Boiled beef and pickled cucumbers- a favorite dish, with Prince Albert invariably follow the h nip, while a baron of beef is like wise a c instant feature, it is ttote wort'iy that the tjiioeii still adheres to tin, i Id priiciee of having the cook's mime called out as each dish is brought to the table. This custom dates buck to the days of (Forge If., and had its origin iu a conspiracy against one Weston, formerly an as sistant, whom the King had raised to tho dignity of chief mouth-cook." His late comrades, jealous of his pre ferment, endeavored to disgrace him by tampering with tho dishes. Upon Weston proving the existence of this plot to his royal master the latter gave orders that in future, as each tlihh was brought on, the name of its co ik should bo called out, in order that praise or blame might b b stowed where duo, New York Sun. Wheal ami ( lover. On one side slept tin' clover. On one sid- sprang the wheal. An I 1. like a lazy lover. Knew le't which se. iued more swart, -The p-d caps of the clover. Or green g-'WSi of the wheat. The i-i'd Clips i'l the e..er, Tll"V l...l.e.l in the h--.it, And as tin- w ind went over With nimble, living feet. Il tossed the e,-i,s of clover. And stirred the g wns-d wheat. Oh rare red cups of el.-ver. Oh dainty gowns -f wheat, You teaeli a huy lover Ifiov iii bis lady meet The sweetness of the elovr. Tin-primrose of tin- w heat. -t'iiAiu.rs K. lln.n-i Jll M0H01 S. "I rise to observe," said tho aero naut, looking out over the landscape sprmd below him. He Why do you refuse me when I say 1 can't live without you? She Y'oil have aroused my curiosity. Student (translating) A nd-er-then-cr-er-ir-wont-cr-iiiid-er. " Professor Don't laugh, gentlemen, to err is human. Young Benedick My wife doesn't understand me at all. Old Benedick Have you tried talking like a baby four months old? "You will notice that 1 have you on the string," said the boy to the kite. "Yes," iiiiswered the kite. "And that is what makes m : soar." He (sympathetic iliy) You have a bad cold. Shu (huskily! I am so hoarse that if you attempted to kiss me I couldn't even scream. "That woman dispenses a grent deal of eocial lemonade, " "What do yoii moan?" "She is always saying sour things ;n a swot t way." New mini - ii morning paper What me the ofliee hours here? Old mini (carelessly) -Oh, only from three to lour. New man That's good. Liiuilsinnti (at a yachting race)--' What's that craft out yonder? Biver man That's the stake boat, bands man Hw mo over to it. Fie hun gry. '1 is tni" she wear- !., r br--tln-rV ti-'s And . lis hi- iei.'iis l.l.a r. And llndsliis .-, .liars ja -I her m- ; Jai; she ,MMii.-t us.- hi- r.a.; -r. Wife -Can you spare me n Iittlij change this morning? Husband Cer tainly, (io out and dine with your mother. The chauge will do us both good. Amiable visitor And this is tho baby, is it? Why, its the very imiigii of its father. Cynical uncle Well, it needn't uuud that if it only has good health. "Do you consider Lifter strictly honest?" "H .uest to u fault. Why, lie told me without my asking that ho stole that dog, he had with him last evening. " M-ii jorie --That young man staying at the other cottage seems awfully nice. Madge-- But he's so slow. You would hardly believe it, but ho has been out with tin! twice and we're not engaged yet. IF-ad Waiter (to professor about to leave the premises without paying)--Should you happen to miss your purse. Herr Professor, you will please bear iu iiiiinl thai you did not take it out w hilo you wi re here !" Commuter What do you menu by saying that that house is only five minutes from the station? Its fifteen minutes if its a second. Heal estate denier When 1 said live minutes I supposed you had a bicycle. "Sir," said the indignant alderman, "arc you not aware that wore 1 to vote for your nieasuro I would be exposed to the condemnation of all the good citizens in my ward? And that sort of thing," he added, lowering hi voice, comes pretty high, you know," "lionioniber, my son," said the pru dent father, "that politeness tloesn't cost anything." ''Yes," was tho reply, "i'vo heard that." "You don't doubt it, do you?" "Well, it certainly costs me about seven dollars a week to get any politeness out of the waiters in our hotel." A Strange Feint idetice. (Forge H. Knight, with his wife an I hist, r, arrived in (iriind Hapals. M oil., from England a few days ago on what was intended to be a surpriso visit to his brother Thomas, who ban lived in that city several years. On i lquiring the way to his brother's house he learned that Thomas hail started for England tell days previ ously, intending to surpriso (Jeorgo wi'havisit. The brothers must havo pa s 'd each other somewhere off Sandy liook. (ieorge will wait iittirand Hapids for tho return of Thomas, in order to avoid otlifr surprises. New York Sun. '