Newspapers / The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, … / April 23, 1896, edition 1 / Page 1
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Itutltum Ucorxl. l)atl)m Recorb. XI. A. LONDON, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, RATES or ADVERTISING v. antiAvA. Anf inRflrtlOil tl.00 1.60 8.60 w "i Ol iquare, two insertions - $1.50 PER YEAR Strictly In Advanoi. One square, one uioum VOL. XVIII. PITTSBORO', CHATHAM CO., N. C, APRIL 23, 18. NO. 35. For larjrer advertisements libml ten rants will be made. Ctottem NEVER DESPAIR. Who hns not bcnnl or rend about London bridge, tlmt famous thorough faro of England's busiest centre, of traffic, of its endless stream of human ity passing to and fro in their daily pursuits, of innumerable talcs of woo, of lives lost, misspent and for lorn, of tragedies, oceurrin? only to bo at onco forgotten and followed by ' more startling crimes, the inevitably result mid outconio of everyday life in tho E iglish metropolis the seat o untold wealth and u itol I misery Hint unrolls before in the depths of human nature, only too often in their most revolting form? It was a dark mid foggy evening The hour when the tired toilers seek tho comfort of their fireside, when cvorybody goes to his horn provide' lio has a home has com ) nnd gone. Suddenly two pedestrians approaching from opposite directions came to n Hidden ami rather unpleasant collision on the bridge. One of them, young, nnd dressed in tho height of fashion hud come from the aristocratic re giolis of tho West End, while the other, who had approached from tho laboring districts of Soutliwurk was much older and was poorly clad. "Zounds, sir,' exclaim 1 1 the younger of the two, "your cranium is not ex letly bolstcrud up with hprings, I nssiiro you. Why coul I you not get out of the way wheu you saw mc approach?" Tho other, evidently a laborer, shrugged his i-hoiildors mid threw a longing look across tho railing to tho dark waters of tho Thames bt low. "Where wcro you going post haste? . continued tho first speaker, noticing the man's dejected attitude. lucre I camo ttio hoarse answer, pointing down to tho river. "Tlu-re? Well, my man, our road is the same. Take mo with you!" Tho poor laborer c ist u surprised look at the well-dross. d young man. "You?" he said. "Yon to go down there? Impossible! What his put fuieli a dreadful thought into your head? You nro surely not suffering from want; you cannot possibly know the i-orrow and the misery that is the poor man's portion? You look like a rich mini, you have youth besides consequently you are happy and to bo envied !" "Wrong, my friend, altogether wrong. Wealth is not uhvays akin to happiness," respoudel tin young man. "Com, rouse youraolf, I can see things ills ) have gone wrong with you; .walk with me a bhort distance and let me explain." Strange! Hero wore two persons who had not even known of each other's cxistcneo live minutes before, but witiuil, they found themselves drawn toward ous another by that sympathetic flash which so often influ ences our destinies. Peaceably nnd couteutedly they walked sido by sid , while tho rich man poured his heart out to his poor companion, telling hiin with impul sive words that ho led anything but a happy life, nltho'igh posiessiug every thing thnt usually goes to make life worth liviug. Ho was a bachelor who hud inherited great wealth from his uncle. II) had drained tho pleasure rup of all kinds of umusemeu's, bud kept servants, horses and carriages; numberless friends had congregated nt his splendidly furnished opurtinciit nnd iu his country residences; he hud even widely speculated without rhyme or reason iu Lombard street, but won in spite of his folly ; ho had trave'e ', ho had celebrated orgies, he had live. I like a sybnrito and thrown away his money with both hands and now he was tired ef life, satiated an I blase in pile of his youth. Melancholy, re morse and misanthropy troubled him iue -ssnntly, nu I hi' could not help re pealing to Inum-lf t lint his lifo had been nn utterly useless one. Tlu-re-fore he had finally come to the delib erate cone u -ion to end Ins worthless existence ill the waters of the river Thame". Tuc laborer was dumbfounded. Never iu his lifo had ho listened to such a queer tale. "How incomprehensible!" ho ex claimed. "My lifo tells exactly tho opposite story. I nm very poor.havo an ailing wifo nnd seven children, an 1, nlas, no food for them ; thus far I hnvo honestly nnd tirelessly tried to make tho two cuds meet in n manner by hard work, but a few days ngo I lost my plnca iu tho factory 011 ao count of the dull times. Icannot wit ness tho misery at. homo any longer it tears my heart to look at my starv' ing loved ones: and though my poor, sulL'riug wifo tries hard to console mo nnd to give mo courage, bidding mo not to despair, I see no escape, h ivo no hopo left nnd am resolved to put nn end to my misernblo existoneo. May (iod iu His int'inito mercy have pity on my family !" "Poor fellow ! " Tin rich youug man's countenance was full of deep felt, pity nnd unbidden tears gathorod in his eyes. Such a tale h hud never henrd, never dreamt of amid tho iilllu cuco of his surrounding". "Now I know that there nro people in this world who are a great denl more unhappy than I considered my self to be, fool that I was," hii re flected. ''15:it cheer up, man, thoro is help in a cisj like yours. Come, lead the way, tnko mo to your house. I guess I can end your troubles, an 1 a far as the the jumping into tho Thames is concerned, I think there is no special hurry about it, do you? " A cab soon brought tho two fornrir candidates for self-dodruetiou to the dirty narrow I hum of tho working- men's quarter in Southw.uk, where it stopped iu fr iiit of a tumble-down cottage. Povertv and want stared at them from every nook and corner n the master of the house mid his young companion entered a sin ill but tidy and scrupulously clean room. A group of children of a pronouncjd blonde typo had hardly recoguizod thoir father when thoy run up to them nnd pitifully begged for bread. Her eyes red mid swollen from crying, her body cmnciiitod from want aud sickuess, tho mother painfully tried to rise from her work, as soon as she beheld the aristocratic looking stronger, nidod by her 17-yenr-old daughter Mary. Tho young man was shocked when he beheld this scene of what appeared to bo unmerited but groat misery. lint when his sympathetic mid aston- ihhod ga.o full of pity, had fastened itself upon the fueo and figure of tho beautiful blue-eyed, sleu let' blonde girl ho give a stilt of genuine sur prise. Pull of a generous impiilao and quickly resolved, h ; grabbed the laborer by the hn d, exclaiming : "Cheer up, I shall bo back iu an hour," he explained, mid left before tho family had time to recover from their astonishment over tho unexpect ed visitor- All the father was able to do in re ply to tho many questions of his wifo and children was to console and cheer them iu a half-hearted manner. But ho snid nothing about his suicidal in tentions or about the stningj meeting that had prevented their consumma tion. Siiddeuly tho door opened onco more tomlmittho man who was upper most iu their thoughts. B .hind him appeared two servants currying bns- kets tilled with choice eatables, which they dep Hited upi tho tablo nnd at onco with lrew. The young man walked up to tho astonished nnd speechless laborer, saving in tremulous tones: "My fiiend, tonight you have saved my life. Let mo oiler yon and yours a smail token of my grstitude. Do mo tho honor to accept what I brought yon, also this sum of money. Aud now, cheer up, for you will havo no more worries if I can help it." A I shed tears of joy. Again nnd giin they showered blessings and ex pressions of tl o r overwhelming grati tude upon their noblo benefactor; but wheu Mary ' approached him to kiss his hand for savin;; the mother, whoso lifo wns fast ebbing nwny from sheer wai t and ailment, he drew back, say ing : "My friend ! I have more to tell on- My name is John Graham, mid, us I have already inf irmed yon, I havo nherited great wealth. But I have no peaceful home, my life is not a rogu- utel one. hcu an hour a ;o I left oil I went to tho next pol.ee station, o find out all I c ml I about vo I, nlso i your former employer, and to the iergymm of this district. I have heard nothing but good spoken of you, especially so and iu the highest degreo, of your daughter Mary, for whom I should like to euro exclusive ly, if you will lot me." These gracious words wcro followod by silence, unbroken but for tho sob bing of Mary's mother, who finally remurkod with suppressed tons chok ing her utterance, that Miry was her sola dcpemleuco for the household work, that sho alone cared for tho lit tle ones wheu thoir futher was away nt his work, and she, tho mother, sick in her bed, that Mary had never worked away from home, and was hardly iu a lit co:i litiou to bu em ployed olsewher . "Employment? A position? My dear madam, you havo altogether mis construed my menning. Nothing is further removed from my thoughts than a desire to seo your daughter work for others. I wont her for my own, for my wife ! I could not pay tho debt of grutitii lo which I owe tho family of tho man who preserved my lifo more appropriately than to hence forth keop want and distress from their home. And on tho other hind, what better compensation could I ask in return thuu tho permission that would givo mo tho right to do so by making your bonutifnl daughter my wife, providing sho shires my lovo and is willing to make mo tho hap piest of men !" Of coursj thero was no objection, and a few weeks later t'.u m irriu ; ! took place. Two men, tirol of life, were fated to become the preservers of two families who henceforth led n hnppy mid useful existence. The young couple foun l.'d an my lum for poor laborers. If you, fair reader, over go to Loudon, and while "doiug"tl!'j town should havo a chance to visit this institute, ov.;r the main entrance to which is tho m otto"Ncver Despair," you will surely have no Jifliculty to recognize tho gray-haired superintendent as cno of tho heroes of this true tale, the old laborer, and by his sido his now fully recuperated wife, trying to do nil tho good iu their power to those iu need. Prom tho French. Many .Mountain Lions. Some of our Western ranch men think there nro too many pumas or mountain lio'.is for tho good of tho flocks, but evidently they nro much hotter oft' thou their brethren in South America, according to a correspond ent of the London Field. "Here, iu the Cordilleras of Pata gonia, the sheep farmers suffer great ly from the depradations of pumas, sometimes losing as m my as 50 lambs iu n single night. During tho last two mouths wo have had killed hero over 100 sheep and 103 lambs, mid our nearest neighbors havo lost over 300 during the same period ; they also kill n good ninny fouls. Owing to tho abundance of covert consisting of bushes nud long grass in the valleys, and forests on tho hillsides tho pu mas nre very hard to find. You may hunt for days nud days nnd never see one, or you may couio across one quito unexpectedly when not looking for them. Some nro killed by poison ing tho carcasses, which they cover up, but, as a rule, when th y get among sheep they kill frosh ones nt each visit. Their usual prey nro the gunnncos or correctly speaking, I believe, vejunius which feed here during the winter months in tonsof thousinds,retiring to tho high pampas hinds to breed in tho spring. Ihe majority of tho pumas follow them, but some aro always left behind, which fall upon the unsus pecting sheep wheu they fnl their usual prey departed. I think thnt with some sort of hounds which would have to bo heavy and strong, ouo would be ablo to bag tlieui, taking the scent away from the kill in the early morning. A NotoI Run Sight. A. luminous foics jlit for usa in a bad light with guns of various kinds has been patented in England by Mr. Wiunns. A tiny incandescent lamp, supplied with a current from a siuiplo form of battery concealed in the stock. is mounted within a shield at the muz- z!o of tho gun, and a faint ray of light, calculated to indicate tho posi tion of its Bourc, is exposed in tho dinolion of tho shooter's eye, nnd this is suflwicnt to enable him to ob tain the requirod nlignni-ut with tho back sight nnd with the tmg-t, be it animate or otherwise. Tho special application of tho si , .it is for gitno shooting nt night nnd tor service pur poses, such, for iustauee, ns tho illu mination of a machine gnu used against torpedo attacks duriug the night. Army and Navy Journal. The United States consul nt tho Isthmus snys that the Pau i.ua canal is sure to bo built. 't - wn'v.-.'it ;l 1 VOYAilF. Tl) MIUiY-Noll-l AM). Now n trip fertile baby to Niilily-nyjiiuiJ. Where the s'si is on rorkers, ami A'en tho smooth wiiiil Yl Is madn of white flannel nrf downy and soft A3 the summery cloud that arc! limiting aloft. HI, ho ! for our journey so grand, In n billowy eradle to Niildy-nod-lninl. We nre off ; we lia-.e .-tarted for Niddy-nort-laiid. We nre Mown o'er tin- ocean by hp-'-Z'-s si Maud That they scarce l-fi n curl from n voy iter's head. l'ot our enift fur itwuy on Hie waters Ii.h sped. TJji, down, with n motion so grand. In a Mllowy cradle for Nidily-nod-land. O, how long I" the journey to Niddy-ii'id-land ? Not so long while the zephyrs our white sails expand, We lire Hearing it now ; w will land on a rod; - Hush, hush, it's of feathers ; we Won't feel the shock Slow, slow, we have touched the soft strand, And our voya;c ij ended in XI Idy-nnd-lund. - New Kngliind Homestead. KfclAtt THAT FLOATS. Here is a pleasant little trtck that will mystify tho guests at a dinner purty.unless they i- ' here how sugar may be made to lb o: oi the surface of tea or coll'ee. in' a few lumps of sugar and dip thoin for nil instant iu a weak solution of collodion, which may bo obtained at any store where pho tographers' supplies nro sold. Exposo the lumps to the air for n few days, iu order to give the ether in the mixture time to evaporate, nnd leave behind only n thin collodion skin or envelope. Puss this Higar out, preferably, when iced lea is being served, and, to their nirprise, the lumps, after remaining tit the bottom of the glass, for a few moments, will rise to the surface, aud refuse to sink, even when tapped by the spoon. The fact is, tho apparent mgar is a delusion. Tho real sugar has been dissolved, nud only the thin envelope of tho collodion which lillodtho inter stices remain. The illusion presented by this "ghost" of the sugar lump is perfect, ns it flouts lightly on the surface. Tukcn between tho thumb aud fore linger it collapses into a gelatinous mass. Now York Journal. A VI-.KY IJI EEIl ANIMAT, With the exception of tlu jaguar, tho great nut-eater, the nut-beur, or crested iinl-beiir, whichever you choose to call him, is the most showy quad ruped in all South America; nor am 1 at all sure he is not entitled to tirst place. Iu height and bulk u full grown specimen is about us large ns n Newfoundland dog, and is really quite bciir-shaped in body and legs. Its tuil is long nud strong, and bears a Iremeudom brush of coarse, wiry, brown-black hair, which makes this orgnn very uoticeable. Its head is so email, and its miizle so fearfully pro longed, t'nt it rcminls o:io of the head and beak of an ibis. Its mouth is a narrow slit across the end of that curious muzz e, its tongue is like a hi" uiiL'le-woriii a foot long, and it has no teeth whatover I Its covering is a rough coat of long, course, brown hair, most strangely marked by a black haul uideriieath the throat, which o:i the chest divides into a long, wedge-shaped stripe of black that ex tends backward and upward across tho shoulder. To me it has always been n puzzle why this creature should possess such a luxuriant coat of hair in so hot n climate. Another point still more opeu to criticism is his clubbed fore feet. He walks on his claws, and tho outer edges of his fore feet, in a most awkward, nud even painful for which there seems to bo no adequate excuse unless his feet were formed tbot way to vex the souls of wicked taxidermista Put them as you will, they will not look right; but to the liviug animal their big.stroiig.hooked claws aro verv useful iu teiring the bark off decayed logs, or ripping open nut-hills for the inseriion of that fticky, wor n-like tongue. I have of ten been told by Smith American hunters lhat the nut-bear us s ln olig, bushy tail to sweep up nuts will, bo that they cau be devoured more expeditiously ; but I fancy thai is only a "yarn. " Even where it is moat plentiful, the great ant-eater is a raro animal. Al though I have hunted it many days, I never buw but two specimens nlivc.oui! of which was a young ouo in captivity nt Ciudiid Liolivar, on tho Orinoco, nnd tho other was a ninguilicent large specimen iu Forepuiigh's menagerie. Owing to their lnek of teeth nnd the peculiarities of their diet, they nre diflicult to keep nlivo iu captivity. North of Panama this species is found only iu Guatemala mid Costa llicn mid is very rnro in both those countries. It lives upon tho ground and its worst enemies nro the jaguar nud puma. St. Nicholas. HOW THR ( IIAIit.K CAMIS To IllirK. It was an old wooden erudl.', uu painted and heavy. It had held two generations of habit". treat -grandmother Donovan's babies had slept under its bright quilt while sho spun HaX on her little wheel besidj it, not even stopping iu their work as she now and then gavo it a fresh move ment with her fool. Hardly was the Inst of these thir teen babies able to walk when grand father Donovan began keeping house, and his ten little ones, one alter an other, kept the era lie rocking for many years more. Then it seemed to be through wiih servic . Tho chil hen grew up and went nwny. The old house was very quiet. Grandmother Donovan an I uncle Hubert, who never murrie I, were nil who appeared in it. Years niter, grandmother w-.ut up into the attic one day after some herbs when, hap pen ng to look across the room, she saw that little cradle under the eaves was rocking! It would swing rapidly to and fro, for u little time, and then almost stop, when some unseen power would set it going again, just ns it used to do when great-griindinother Donovan sat beside it, years ngo. Grandmother always prided herself on her courage, but it was sometime before she grew brave enough to cross the attic nud liud out what made the cradle rock. Then, what do yon think she fouud? Three of the sweetest, plumpest little kittens you ever saw! They were having u great frolic, and as they lolled over each other aud jumped ii)i on the. sides of the cradle, they kept it rocking quite as it used to do. Tabby has had a sad experience with kittens. They hud always mys teriously disappeared iu a day or two nud she had learned to be very reserved concerning her domestic ail'iirs. Grandmother knew there were kit tens somewhere, mid th barn and shed had been careful ly searched. She hud even looked iu sundry boxes nud barrels in the attic, but nobody had thought of the eradle, the most natural place in the world for babies. Perhaps Tabby had some dun idea that nil the life which the old crudic held would b sueieil, for she came up, rubbing coulidiugly against grand mothers d.oss, nud jumped, purring, in among tin kittens, who scrambled lifter her. Grandmother's fac; looked very tender us she looked down on the old, dented cradle.with its laded patchwork quilt. "Your babies arc safe. Tabby," sho said. outh's Com pa n ion. l ighting New York llarliir. The entrance to New York harbor is now illuminated at night like a city street, us each of the spar buoys along the G-'duc.y channel carries an electric light- The current fur these lights ns well as for some others farther up the harbor, is furnished Ir.mi a generat ing station at Suinlv Hook. Part of tho lights are supplied with n contin uous curreut of 15.) volts by means of ueurly two miles of cable, consisting of a single conductor of seven stranded copper wires of No. IS gunge, covered with un insulator, nud pro tected by a double armor of steel wire. Tho buoys along tho Geoluev channel are furnished with an alter nating current of 1,001 volts, prob ably the tirst instance iu which such a curreut has been used for this pur pose. Too lamps nro of 100 candle-power each, nnd nre set at tho top of the buoy. They nre protected by heavy bell-glass globes, uiei nro about live inches in diameter. The buoys to w hicii these lumps are fixed are largo soars, from sixty t" seventy feet lone. each an 'hoied to the bottom bv a hol low ea-t-ii'oii block, shaped liko a Iliiisoloolii, and we gliing about 500 pouuds. New York Churchman. SCI hS.. ilC FtUAl'rk Dull bearings on bicycles nr likely to bo followed by bull tiros. According (v recent writer, French natality is to natality iu the other European rue a ns two is to three. Experiments havo shown tho prncti cability of keeping molten inetnl in casting condition by means of eleo tricity. A littlo jiolroleum barometer, 150 times as sensitive as tho ordinary mercury barometer, has been ex hibited to the Berlin physical society. A Frenchman has fitted bis bicycle for hill-climbiug purposis with a pair of direct-acting cranks on tho front wheel and a second saddle nearer the liiiudle-bars- A firm of silk manufacturers at Lyons has undertaken to in alio a m teriol perfectly impermeable to guii for Mr. Audret's bulloou to visit the North Polo in. M. Ibioul P ct'-t, Mho has done much original chemical work nt low temperatures, sug jests thnt by iiiukiug liso of low temperatures syntheses may be obtained wh eh would be other wise impossible. Professor Marvin Clark says thnt cuts hnvo u language which in Bouio respects appear to bo similar to that of tho Chinese. Hems. lis that tho tongue of the nit is "musical, melliflu ous nnd pleasing to the senses." The royal academy of niedtcino of Belgium oilers prizes of $5, 000, $1, GOO nud 81, OUO for the most valuable re searches on diseases of the ccutrnl nervous system, with special reference to epilepsy. Thw competition closes S.-pt. 15, 180,1. An iMilhority on do if m ites says that the ratio of deaf unites to homing is about one to each 1,0)0. and ac cording to which there are about 40, 000 such persons in the United State', nnd about 1,0.1), 000 iu tho world's en tire population. The Weather Iliiirau. Tin instruments used iu obnerving the weather are the aneroid nu 1 cis tern barometers, wet and dry bulb thermometers, wind vauj mil com puss, anemometer and mieiiioginph.niid the rainfall. Of a. I these the barom eter is probably the most important. The standard form of the instrument is n tube thirty-four inches long.closed ut the top, i xhuiistt d of air, and im mersed at the bottom iu a cup of mer enrv. The purpose of the barometer is to measure tho pressure of the at mosphere. In general, the mercury will stand high in the tube when the weather is fair, and low when it if foul. Jiy noting tho minute changes, measured on a graduated scale beside the tube, tho observer rends the words on the barometer. The words "fair," "change" etc., engraved on the front of the instrument are diregnrded. They have no significance whatever. The lis tig or falling of tho mercury iu the tube is caused by Mm beginning of tho-o atmospheric changes which prcce le a storm but nro not di-ciTiiah!o by our senses. Tho barometer discerns them for us, and gives warning of weather changes Of course there are many different conditions which utV. ct the instrument, and th;i weather ob.crveri are in structed in the matters. The aneroid barometer is round, like one of tho chenp nickel-pluted clocks that nre so numerous, nnd tho changes are in li cuted by a hand moving across u seal . on the dial. The weight of the nt niosphero is measured not by a column of mercury iu a tube, but by tho ex pansion mid compression of a small metal box from which the nir has boen exhausted. Harper's Hound Table. Three of a Kind in I. neks. Three members of the Houso of Representatives are so much alike in personal appearance that they nre often mistaken for euc'i other, an I could readily pisi fur throe brothers. Their names nre Monroe H. Ku'p of Shamokin, Peiin. , George 1$. McClel l:in of New York city, and John Simp kins of Yarmouth, M i-s., who enjoys the distinction of being one of the wealthiest eougivssm n at Washing ton. Messrs. Kulp and Simpkins nro republicans, McClellan is a democrat, All three uro heavy built, stocky young fellows, without a vestigo of hair on their faces. Iu addition to looking so much alike in stature and facial ap pearance, the "triplets," ns th"ir col leagues call them, dress alike, and it is ofteu diflicult to distinguish one from the other. --Chic. ig i Tribune. Thrirty. "Why did E. hel nud George elope?" "Tho old man figured out that they could begin housekeeping on what tho wedding would coat." Life. The t.olden Arc The Age of Hold ! The Golden Ak, When life was life indeed, Has gilded many a somber page, Kerveil many a poet's need. I sing the (iolden Age that is. Not many a folded stmy ; Nov, I nivsc-lf oiiec lived in this j tsume nr;e of song and story. Then nu n we re heroes formed for love And war liruve, wise, ami kooI ; Then women rcitrned ,y virtue of Their perfect womanhood ; Then more I han fa , than lust of W' iilthf Than empty power or splendor. Were simple pleasures, luioyaiil health, One friend Imth true and tender. Then strange, wild lieauty lurked within Ka"h common wayside weed ; Tin brook stopped on its wny to sing Weird tales to who would heed ; Then labor without thought of wage Wns crowned with teeming plenty ; What is this wondrous Hidden Age? Why, nineteen years, or twenty. biisnn Owen .Moherly ill Munsi'y. Jlt'MOKOrs. "You told mo that you nnd Harry loved at sight." "Yes, but we quar reled on acquaintance." "That," snid the engineer, "Is a flfty-horsu power engine." "Don't you liuro it by b ke-jiowc r yel '!" Dolly If you kiss im the Hicond lime I ill scream. Dick I have not kissed you the tirst time yet. Dolly I know it. "There, there-!'' said Mrs. Iiliie Myrr, picking up her btile boy, who hud f-tnlibed his toe. "Doli't cry. 10 ii man, like mainuia. " IP- Nice dog very, II ive yotl taught it any new flicks since I wns here list? She (sweetly) Yes ; it will fetch your hit if you whistle. Jones Smith is in business lor him self, i-n'l ho? H;ow n - Fi r himself? Well, I should siiy he is in biisini si for the benelit of an extravagant family. ".Hurry n j , Man I. Mr. Tone's bus been wu.tuig nn hour ill ready, '' "Humph! Lot b in wait. Didn't ho keep mi! waiting three years before ho spoke ?" 15 igley Have you pot a clone of neive tonic lianilvV Dr. Emdec What's the trouble? P.ugloy - J list a bracer; 1 called to ;:i t the amount of your bill. "If I only knew whether the po liconiuu is standing tlere because nothing is h.-.ppcunig, or whet her nothing is happening beciiu-o ho is standing there ! ' May They tell me your engage ment with Charley Ciimpley is broke u. How did it happen? Carrie It was no pivut mystery. The fact is ho was too fie h to keej that's all. Proof liridegroom My friend Meekes suvs be is afraid you didn't like his we dding pie-cut. Uriel: -Certninly 1 did ! Why, I kept it a whole month befeire 1 i xchuuged it. "Yes," remarked the prima doiinn, "I know I ought to practice n little! every d i y to keep my voice in condi tion, but 1 can't because home oiie might hear me without paying a cent for it. Mii:-ie - Sis, i hci'e'.s a young ge title man down :u the pallor wants to sen yon. Sister Who is it dearie? Ma sie! Wo 1, I don't know his iiuine, but he's that one that looks so much like a w ishboiie. Servant - Who shall I say wants Iu see Mrs. D 'Style? Cuiintiy cousin Oh, no n.atte r nboiit the name. I want to Mirpris her. Servant Well, I'm thinking yu'll have m: troiibb iu doing that. "Si c is tint stii'gy," said liridgcl A -ncs to her culler, "if I wrap up the least bit of lay for ih' t'o'.ks ut home, sun she misses it at ouee." "I'wy'1 said tin. visitor "don't ye take it out of the bottom uv the can !" A Sedentary Hen. Though generally cheerful nud con tent itii her lot, the lieu at times be comes moody, sullen mid taciturn. At tirst she s-'i ins to be preoccupied only. She starts aud turns pale when siiiideii'y spoken to. Then sho 1 iiven her compuiiiuus and seems to lie tho victim of hypochondria. Then lu-t ii u i wanders. At last you coiiie upon he r mild -nly some day seated mulct t lie c u r .int bushes. Y'ou symput hiz l wit'.i her nnd you seek to fondle her. She thou pieks a small memento out of the; back of your hand. Y'ou then gently but firmly coax her out of there! with a hoe, and you find that she lues been seated for senne iune on an old croquet loll, trying to hutch out n whole s t of eroq let b ilD. This dinvi that he r luiud is ntV-'ctcd. You pick up the oroepiet ball nudliud it hot and feveri-li so you throw ltito I lie shades of ih woodshed. Auon you find yenu demented he.i in the loft f i tho. barn hoveling over adtr knob and tniu" by patn iic and industry to hatch out it bo-el. Bill Nye. 9 WIVmM'3fSTij
The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
April 23, 1896, edition 1
1
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