Newspapers / The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, … / Aug. 27, 1896, edition 1 / Page 1
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QDlinthitm Record. RATES II. A. J-OIN DON, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, $1.50 peF YEAR OF ADVERTISING One square, one insertion On6 square, two insertion -One square, one month $1.0' 1.50 PITTSBORO', CiTATIIAM CO., N. C, AUGUST 27, 1890. NO. 1. For larger advertisements liberal cod Strlotly In Advinu. VOL. XIX. art he nada. Tho Mendicants. Wo ire as mendicants who wa!i Along the roallde in the sun. Tatters of yesterday and shreds Of morrow clothe us every one. Aud Home are dotards, who bellavo And glory la the days of old ; While some are dreamers, harping ("till Upon an unknown ago of gold. Hopeless or witless ! Not one heeds, As lavish Time comes down the way And tosst-s in the suppliant hat Ono groat new-mluted gold today. But there be others, happier far, The vagnbondish sons of Ood, Who know the by-ways and the flowers. And eare not how tho world may plod. They Idle down tho traffic lands, And loiter through the woods with spring. To them the glory of tho earth Is but to hear a bluebird sing. They.too re-eiv rah one his Day ; Hut their who heart knows many things Beyond tli satliiR of desire, Ahovo the dignity of kiugs. One I remember kept his coin. And lugliln. Hipped It in the nir ; Hut wlirtii two strolllmr plpe-pl:iyers Came by, ho tossed it to the pnlr. Spendthrift of joy, his ehildlsh heart Panned to their wild outlandish bars ; Then supp Ties he laid him down Thnt night nnd slept beneath tho stars. - Bliss Carman. One Woman's Judgment. BY M D E f j M. THOMPSON, In a pleasant room, where tho soft glow of a shaded lump oist its warm light, worn two peojlc, ft man ond a woman. The woman was twenty, per haps, and tull ami slender. Her face was unusually 2retly, with its round, girlish outlines, and the sweet curves of tlio mo.ith ; but the gray eyes wi re thoughtful uud dreamy, telling of the exalted idyll's nnd noble purposes that are ours in tho spriugtimo of life. Tho tuitn stood near lur, loukiug (1 iwii with it gentle yet n mil sod smile. Ho whs thirty or more, nml his face hiuted of battles fought nml won, of manhood which had struggled will: the world nml yet retained its tender ness. "What is it, Ruth? What is this terrible something which may come bitwcou us and separate us forever? Tell me, and let me show you th:it it is made only of April snows, aud will writ awny, " "You mustn't trent it so lightly, Richard," she answered, with a troubled look. "It's a very serious question, nud one which is growing iu importance, nod wo women must do our duty nt nny cost. Miss lingers told me that." "Oil, bother Mi-is Rogers. I beg your pardon, but what h is that esti tnahle old maid to do with us? What is the question, Ruthie? Yon quite miike my hair stauil on end when you cull be R chard in that tone." " 'Dick' is much t o frivoloup,'' she said, "and Miss Rogers is n very intellectual, advanced woman, nnd a fi ieti I of mine." "Indeed !' Tbero was an absolute sileuco for n n'.ouieiit, then Ruth observed : "I think 'indeed' is Mich a horrid word. I wish you wouldn't fling it at me." "I am sorry. I suppose. I should linvo said of course. See here, Ruthie, I want to know about this barrier af fair." "Well.lliehnrd.it's this," she begati, folding her hands primly in her lnp, nud studying tho pattern of the car jiet. "I want you to think, to think over your wholo life you know whnt mine has been and see if there is nny thing in your past yon could not tell me, anything you would liot bo willing to have paralleled in my past. Indeed, I am serious no, don't try to stop mo. I'll give you iiftcou mi n lit os to think about it." There was n rustle of silken petti costs, nod R; ii rd was nloiie. He stared absently into the fire, and grad ually his fnco changed nnd har.'e .id. His mouth grew set nnd stern, ami the liueP, which had tcirccly been visible, deepened and muliplied. The moments passed, the cloek ticked on, one of the logs on the lire broke and fell iu showers of sparks. Again there was the swish, hwisli of u woman's skirts, nnd the trend of slippered feet. He turned to her coldly. "Do you mean," ho said stein'y, "that if I cannot truthfully say that my whole pi nt is jit-d aud pure and white ns your own, you will retract y.mr promise ? That you will break with me? ' "It's my duty, Richard," she an swered, nervously twisting her ringf. "Then listen. There are things iu my pa-t which I am thankful you can never know. My life has not been bliuneli , free from siu ; it has been along, hud f!,'lit, with many blows giveu nml received. I know this, vim r ever tiuitt I have bu beaten, J ljuve riseu with new strength, nnd with greater kuowlodge of tho battle I was waging. I see that you hnvo judged mo that in your heart you havo al ready told mo to go. Yon stand there and j idgo mo. You! What dan you know of sin of t .'inptation? You.who from childhood havo been shielded from any knowlodge of the world, whose purity hai 1joii carefully guarded, whoso life has boon lived among tho poop o whoso every thought is for you and of you? Whit can you know of it man's life, of the siu that surrounds him everywhere, of the tempmtions resisted as well as thoso yio'ded to? Do you not know that there is no strength in mero inno cence untried virtue? With ft tern tation overcome, a sin repented of, comes tho only real strength of man hood or womanhood ; and I am a purer man today, worthier of you in every renp.'ct, than I was ten yoars ago, when there was nothing in my past which might make you shrink from m . My love is n purer love, less selfish, than I could havo offared to youthen. Oh, H ub, you cannot know the bitterness of repeutence.the niiguish of self contempt, nor the somber strength which it brings ! Homo day, perhaps, you ni.iy know aud understand. " He pausod; then, as sho mad no reply, threw back his head defiantly. "I see your decision," liocontinued. "If this is what you call your love yon may keep it. Croud night. " He closed the librory door behind him, and stood alone iu the great, dimly lighted h ill. Oao of tho rugs was twisted, and he stooped mechani cally, lo Htr.iighteu it us ho buttoned his coat. "What's the use iu telling any woman the real and candid truth?" he mutt'jred, and turned to go J but somo one called in ft half-choked voice, "Oh, Dick, come back." Sho stood in tho doorway with both her long white hands stretched out to him in pleadiug invitation. "You uro right, Dick," sho faltered. "I daro not judge you !" Muusey's Magazine. Hiotograpliinir Thought. It might be rush to pronounce that anything isl -yoiid the photographer's ai t. TS 1 1 L the coinmnn c ition just made to tho Puris Aea.leuiio de Medicine by Dr. Baradnc is so osiouish. ing that if he had nude it beforo Dr. Roentgen hud rendered his discovery public, very few people would have been inclined even to inquire, into the matter. Indued, Dr. Bwaduo affirms he has tsuecjedod iu photo graphing thought, and he hus sbowu num-rous photographs in proof ot his assertion. His usual method of proceeding is Fiimp'c enough. The persm tthose the'gut is to bo photographed outers a dark room, places his hand on a photographic plate, and thinks in tently of tho oljict the iinuijo of which h-i wishes to see pro.lucjd. It is stated by those who have examined Dr. Baradiic's photographs that most of them are very clou ly, but that a few arc comparatively distinct, rep resenting tho fenturos of persons and the outlines of things. Dr.Bara due goes further, nnd declares that it is possible to produce ft photographic image nt a great distance. Iu his communication to the Acade mic de Medicine ho relates that Dr. lot rate, when ho whs going to Cum pana, declared ho would appear on a photograph ie plate of his friend, M. ll.imli.ii, nt Rneharebt. On August 1, 189:1, M. Hauler: at Bucharest went to bed with a photographic pinto ou his feet and another at his head. Dr. Istrato went to sleep at Campann, at a distance of about three hundrod kilometres from Bucharest, but before closing his eyes, ho willed with all his might that his image should ap pear mi the photographic plato of his friend. According to Dr. Bnraduc that marvel was accomplished. Jour nalists who havo examined tho photo graph iu question state that it consists iu a kind of luiniuo.ts spot on the photographic plate, in tlio midst of w. i s i can be traced the profile of a man. London Standard. A Surprise. A man who answered n matrimonial advertisement iu a X-w York daily paper whb o-dotinded when he con fronted a remarkably aged aud tough looking female. "Are you tho young widow who ad vertised in th-) World that she desired to make the acquaintance of a gentle man of culture and refinement?'' "I am," was the reply. "Well, how long is it since you have been a young wid'iw. " "F.v. r since you wero a gentleman of culture aud red. lenient" Then he bade her adieu, (Jetting Into Parliament. In the Urst place, the initial cost of obtaining a seat in tho House of Com mons is always great. Candidates arc obliged, by tho corrupt practices net of 188.1 (which has fined a. muximuiB scale of electioneering expenses, vary ing in amount accordiug to tho extent and chamotcr of the constituency) to furnibh a return of their expenses; and, according to a bluo book ou the sul j ct issued in connection with tho general election of 1892 it appears that close ou a million of money wan spent by tho ,1,307 candidates who fought for seats in tho House of Com moos in that electoral campaign. Tho averago expenses of th) 070 successful candidates were about $3,500 each. Rut that docs not, as a rule, reprosent a third of the financial cost of the honor and dignity of the ofiioo of Member of Parliament. Bo foro tho contest takes place, the con stituency has to bo "nursed" with the view of obtaining tho good-will and support of the electors. "Nursing"ii) a very expensive process. Many n man has spent from 85,000 lo 25,000 a yenr for two or even five yoars be fore tho general election in tho con stituency he aspires to represent. A newspaper has often boeu ruu by n prospective candidntoat a tremcudous loss, ostensibly for tho laudable ob ject of supplying tho electors with news, but really to keep prominently beforo them the virtues of the man who is wooing ihsir suffrages, aud tho grandeur nud magnificence of the political principles he supports. Chambers' Journal. The Betol Nut. Tho uso of tho betel nut among tho Hindoos of India is declared to be al most general. Tho nut grows on n tall palm. B. fore being chewed it is wrapped in n betel leaf, which grows ou a vine and has nothing more to do with the betel nut than cream has to Jo with strawberries. Tho chewing of tho nut increases the flow of saliva, nud as tho resultant juices oro rod, it make) tho cbewer apparently spit blood. Matty of tho public buildings iu India aro painted ted several feet from the ground, so that the expecto rations of the betol nut cliewers will uot be so noticeable. The devotees of the betel-nut chow ing habit claim to derive ijttich com fort and enjoyment from it without any deleterious effects. The Mohnme tan religion condemns spirits, nud Brnhminism forbids anything that in toxicates or stupefies. No great re ligion condemns tho betel nut, and it may bo used by all. Xo Enropenu;has ever been known tc acquire tho habit, and its soothiug effects, if such it has, affect only the Hindoo constitution. The nut is used as an ingredient in a populir tooth-powder, nnd it is said to hardeu the gums. It has no further utility except in India, where it is grown iu immense quantities purely to bo chewed. Sislers Three. "There is in Tennessee ft family of threo sisters which presents some of the most startling peculiarities imag inable," said a gentleman from tho state iu question who is staying at ono of the Xew Orleans hotels. "The three sisters live together on a farm, their sole means of subsist ence, and work early aud lato to earn a livelihood. Two of thorn work in tho field ; tho thir l docs tho cooking and other housework. There is but ono period of the year when any membor of the trio has anything to soy to any other member. All during the wiuter, spring, aud mmmer they go about their business with the seal of silence on their lips. When fall comes and tho crop is harvested they break tho silence, and then only to quarrel over tho division of tho proceeds. When each has succeeded in getting all thnt sho thinks po.iblo silence reigns again until the next harvest time. Tho sisters have iimdo a namo for them selves. They are known far nud near as tho Mcaf-aud-duuib' triplets, al though this title is scarcely appro priate." New Orleans Times-Demo-crab A Tree of Iron, At a recent meeting of the Academy of Natural Sciences in Philadelphia Professor Carter gave an account of a wonderful tree-trunk discovered in a sandstone quarry ii Montgomery County, Pennsylvania. It is ten inches thick sni eighteen feet long, aud has been turned into iron through a natural process of substitution, by which tho wood has been replaced with iron hematite derived from tho Hand. This ii analogous to the trans formation into agate undergone by formerly submerged tree-trunks in Arizona and the Yellowstone Park. The chief of the Loud in fire brigade receives $4, 600 & yeur aud quarter UNIQUE FESTIVAL Feast of Lantern a on a Sacred Isl and in Japan. A Splendid Speotacle In Honor of a Japanese Victory-! Describing a sojourn on Miysjima, a picturosqiie Japaneso idiiud, u con tributor to tho Century Magazine toys : One drowsy noon the towu crier Ctimo to tho door, clapped two pieces of wood together, and iu a long chnut besought all people of Miyojlmi to como to tho tomplo for "speak-meeting" ut two o'clock that day nud for tho five succeeding days, to hear read the official uews from tho army in Coren. We sont our agent to listen for us, and our erratic and only Itiud zuka returned breathless, to toll, in excited Japaneso Knglnh, nud jrgon, of tho victory of tho Ileijo. We hftd intended to make a farewell offering to tho temple to secure an illumina tion as a fitting cloio to our stay in Ar cadia, aud hero was ou opportunity. In the shortest time Iuud.uka was speeding back to the temple to boiccch tho high priest to havo tho thouinud oil-saucers of the lanterns tilled at once, the illumination to begin at dusk, with out waiting for the midnight high tide. The priests shook their heads at such au irregularity, such a disregard of ancient custom ou short notice. "But this is an American matsuri.aud iu honor of tlu Heijo I How can you say you have any custom for such an illumination. And when did you ever illuminate at any tide for a bat tle won iu Corea? " Aud the high priest said, "Surely, surely 1 Yes, for Beikoku America and tho Hoijo wo can do it." And tho circle of eagle eyed, excited priests (.prang delight edly to begin preparations. Our joyous sendo was at the temple steps with the sampan as usual before the sunset hour, ami ho hail not pushed off until ho let us kuow that tlio village was agog at tho double news of victory and the honorablo il lumiualioii. We could seo tho lay brothers nil nlong shore filling tho oil-saucers, laying wicks, and panting fresh papurs on tho till stone lumps; and wheu wo sculled back, long alter sunset, lights had begun to twinklu under the teiuplo caves. A lantern came forth and went bobbing nlong the water-line, stopped a moment, and ii Becotid light shone forth, theu ft third and a fourth, find so on along shore, as the lamplighter went his v ay. Soon tho whole curving bay from headland to headland was outlined in living lights that gleamed double aud wavered in long reflections toward ns; and the temple was a great set piece of fireworks, each shriuo n sun-goddess's glowing cave, with tho many jeweled pyramids of votive candles. Tho spectacle lasted iu full splendor for more than an hour, th; villagers flocking alongshore, trooping through the templogallerios.iind dr.fting about iu boats to watch tho splendid spec tacle. Then lights dropped out here nnd there, and tho glow of tho rising moon made tho firmament pale; but even when the shore-lino was lost in darkness, Itsukushima's inner shrine by the sen was still aglow with votive lights. Tho next morning tho village offi cers called "to thank your spirit" in celebrating Japan's victories ; the high priest sent sacred gift-papers filled with rice, and asked for tho honorable names in full, that they might bo written nmong the temple's contribu tors; and when he went to tho villugo every one bowed and made pretty speeches about the American ma'ts iri. Weeks later ft Tokio artist wroto in his quaint idiom that ho had heard of my "favorably presenting a great deal of money to tho temple, praying for the war, and lighted the thousand lamps of Miyajima for tho war. I seen it iu our Japan newspapers." Surely never did one obtain so much pleasure and glory by au expenditure of four yeu (two dollars la United States gold.) A I)7 anil M.mkey Fight. A score and more of people at Mun cie, I iid., were t he involuntary witnesses of one of the funniest rights to a finish imaginable. A monkey belonging to an Italian escaped from its confinement and was ambling along the street w lieu it was attached by a large yellow dog of mongrel breed. For i-cversl second there was such a bliuding rush of dust that the spectators could scarcely seo which was ahead, but finally the monkey broke away and sealed up a polo close at hand while tho dog established himself ut the foot and bayed loud and angrily. The monkey chattered ia several dialects, running up nnd down, and nil tho time keeping n wary eye on its enemy. Finally it began to slowly slide down the pole, and, coming within range, it bouu led plump on the dog's bae'.t, and with teeth and claw, made tho hair fly. The dog jumped anit howled an I shook him self the crowd yelling hoarse shouting "(lo it, Tige," "Hold to hiui.Monk.'' The dog finally flopped over on its back, dislodgiug tho monkey, which again bounded up tho pole; By this timo the dog was crnied with rnge and pain, and it made herculean efforts to reach its chatter ing enemy, who ngaiu brought into play the sumo tactics as before. A second time it landed squarely ou tho dog's back, aud there was a repetition iu which teeth nud clans played a leading role. This round icKiilted in ft complete victory for tho "monk,'1 tho dog eventually Unhorsing his enemy by rolliu.j over, aud then bounding to his feet and running away as fast as his legs could carry him. The monkey chased hira for a fow yards and then returned to the pole satisfied with results. Cincin nati E.'iqiirer. Oritrin of "The Blue Danube.' It was originally written on n pair of cuffs. It was the linen culf and the ipiick thought of the woman who w ire it that gave us one of tho prettiest of the tuneful Srrauss' wall.?'. Joh itiu Strauss and his wife were ono d i.y en joying a stroll in the park at Sehoiiau, when suddenly the composer ex claimed: "My dear, I have a waltz iu my head ; quick, give mo a scrap of paper or an old en velope. I must write it down before I forget it." Ala"! After lunch rum maging of poc'.tuts it win found that neither of them bad a letter about them not even a trd rsuiau's bill. Strains music is considered light, but it weighed ns heavy us lead on his bruin until hi cmiM transfer it to paper. His despair was pathetic. At last a happy thought struck Fran Strauss. Shu held out n snowy cuff. The composer clutched it eagerly, uud iu two minutes Unit cull was manu script. Its mate followed, still the in spiration was incomplcb:. Strauss was frantic, and was about to make a wild dash for home, with the third part of h:s waltz ringing uncertainly in his head his own iinen was limp colored calico when suddenly his frau b -thought herself of her collar, and in an instant the remaining birs of "Too BIuj Din ube" decorated its surface. -Toledo Bee. A Inur.Ycni-Olil Trick Rider. If Master Feniier Ho lgins conti nues as he has begun, ho is going to bo the star trick rider of tho world. He is only four years old and is tin expert rider, but that is uot what is so remarkable about him. He doesn't take the trouble to wait until he gets his win el out on the street before ho mounts it. His father, says the American Wheelman, lives on St. Charles avenue, Xew Orleans. The boy mounts his wheel inside the house aud rides down a hulf-do.-Mi steps to the sidewalk, and then jumps from the curb into the street, a distance of about n foot. And the charm about it is that he does it all with th-; abandon of nn old trick rider. He does other astonishing things also. He cau ride on one pedal, out of the sad He, and co.tsts while kneel ing on tho saddle, with arms folded in front of him. His little sister, three years old, can steer a wheel ns well as any one. He puts her up in front of him on his bi cycle and dismounts nud takes her oil without hel'. Shoe Manufacturers and Bicycle. "Talk about the street railways los ing by the advent of the bicycle," says n shoo salesman, ' I think it is the shoe manufacturers. Of course.there is a dem md for bicycle shoes, and that practica ly opens a new market ; but it must be n limited market when it is considered that one pair of such slim s will outlast three pairs of ordiuiry foot coverings, uot because the shoos are better, but because they are not subjected to the Kcudliiig wear of the other. Peoplo ridetoand from their work all the tune now, where they form :rly walked, or on bad ro.i 1- iu the cars. If a person wants to go around tho corner ho will get oa his wheel instead of walking, as he once did. It is these thousands of step-t that ho saves that save the shoes and make tho Bhoemun's hoart sa l." New fork Tribune. Sin Saw I In I'oint. Beggar P. ens , Mister, gimme u ceil'. D.ide Aw , go w ay ! I haven't any ceiitM. iiini lady smiles, aud dude doesn't know nhj-. 1'1'TRIHBI) FRUIT. fitranje Freak of Nature in a New York Villa?.-. Apples and Pears Turned to Stone by Spring Water. Near Xew l'ork City, in I'.oekland county, is a pretty village where many summer guests iind their way for rt few weeks of absolute (juiet ami rest. The Hudson river runs close by its shore-, making boatil.'g nnd bathing possible, helico boarding houses Pre numerous, but only one so far has been divcoverol which can boast of ft distinctive and curious freak of na ture. A spring whoso veins seem to go zit;Zig in every direction petnlies any object with which it come in contact. Close to the kitchen door, spreading its wide limbs laden with fruit in sea son, crows an apple tree. The gnarled branches almost sweep the ground, and the fruit thereon first revenii d the phenomenon. It o hap pened the o Aiier of the place wittbel to utilize this water, more like spark ling wine without the "heady" effect. It was valuable to him as nu induce ment to Secure summer guests. Iigiug began in the early fall, ond befure the well could bo cemented and built .lack l'rost set iu and work had to be abandoned until springtime. An old basket in which fiuit nearly de ci.ved was carelessly thrown stood near the kitchen entrance uud hap pened to be upset, falling into the place whoro the well was to be built. Without the slightest idea of any luminal clement or peculiarity in tho water, the excavation ni temporarily coveted with ashes aud earth. The result has been that tho fruit has come out petrified. When the work wus re sumed, no ono at first noticed this cu rious manifestation of nature. As is almost always the case, the stupidest man on the place, in regard to .science, discovered what he thought to be very well preserved fruit, until, taking it from the shovel, tho weight seemed like stone. Tho apples retain-'d tin coloring perfectly.as did the lemons and pears, for that matter, but the blush of tho apple remained in a:i id no.st remark able manner. Th -sam-.' decayed CuU ditiou also showed quite perfectly, niiilun,' everybody around at tho timo doubt the authenticity of the state ment that it was pjtriticd fruit. Seiciiti-ts were consulted. The proprietor wished to find out tho truth if pos-iule, and every test wap made to subs. initiate the first surmise. Scientists decided that tho fruit wag petrified, and the workmen felt they woul I rather not work ou the place, fearing all sorts of accidents to limb and life. Then many wild rumor spread. One was that a man who had gone up the inouutaiu to trace tho course of the stream aud test the pet rilying qualities had fallen, so as to C :ne in contact with the water, and had instantly become petrified, ond others kept the village for weeks in a ft do of ferment ami excitement, which only subsided after tho depart ure of the scientists aud the CDiiiple tiou of the well. N't-w York Herald. Saves Wear of the Tongue. Those who have Income addicted to the questionable habit of licking the (lap of an envelope before mailing n li tter ought to hail with delight the invention that does away with all pos sibility of contracting disease from indiscriminate contact of the tongue with possibly i in pure mucilage. A St. Louis man claims tho invention, which is so simple that it has been suggested scores of times by writers of articles on health. This shrewd St. L uis fellow, however, is manu facturing the new envelopes, aud expects to in iko ft lot of money out of them, lie ought b. The invention consi-ts merely of placing the mucilage on the body of the envelope instead of the ll ip. With this envelope yon wet the mevlepo as of obi, but the tongue does md touch the possibly unclean mucilage. The letter is sealed by pressing the nioisti ncd flap against the dry gum. It is not so sure a way as seoling a letter, because the gum requires considerable moisture before it will stick, but it is much cleaner th n the old way, un I in tiiuii we m iv get used to it. Toledo lllade. Winn li s Wife Was Away. ll.ihcnt When did Mrs. Stirumnp go to the country? Mr. Billyeut I didn't kuow she had gone. Uillycut - (iuess she inns', have. 1 heard Hiirumiiu- boasting yesterday that ho was boss ia his owu house. Love's Way. 'Come," said l.ove, upon a day; 'Tome, and fare my rsy way : If pcreliniieo the tliorns w meet They shall make the roses swi '." Ho with I, ove I pafseil alciii All the world was sweet with song ; NVver thorn was mine, forte" II i J them In his In-art from me! l'rank L. Wanton. HlMOROrs. "JIow often doyou cut your grass?' "Kvery time my neighbor has his lawn mower sharpened." SLe (iu drugstore) Do you cater to tho wants of bicyclists? Ho -Oh. yes; we keep arnica and court plaster. 'JJilly is in love with Miss ISilling hiim." "DM he tell you m?" "Xo. but he's got her picture hung op by the side of tho portrait of his best dog." "Well, Willy," nuked grandma, "have ymi had all the dinner you want?" "Xome," answered the truth ful iittlo boy ; "but I have hud oil I can eat." I'doomer That man Crafty, why he doesn't know enough to come in out of the rain. (lloomer Yes ; but he docs know enough to hold on to au umbrella. (ill. liehtuiDR I'liK, 1i"W fair "ur fate. What peaeeful hours ou pass; Von lavishly illuminate. And M no MIIm for gas. 1L I bear that small woisls aro going out of date. She I think no. Who told you? "Ii iura Fiogg. " "Yes; poor Laura is getting quite stout of late." "May I have n word withyou, sir?" said Uorely to (Vnicns. "Well, that nil depends on tho word," said Cyuicus. "If it's good-by, I'll join in with yon with pleasure. :' She How provoking tLisix! l'va been waiting an hour tor the tide to get up. lie Yes, but you shouldn't get impatient. 1' .-member its been out m arly all niht. "Miss Fly is so clever ; she can sell women shirt waists that tit every tiui". " "Pooh! Miss Cnippcr is moro clever still ; she can bell them shirt wtii-ts thnt don't fit." Hobsoii How do you stand on tho currency question, Dobson? Dob son I'm awful sorry, old man, nud I'd be gia 1 to accommodate you, but the f.iCt is I'm broke. Visitor What makes you so ugly, Tommy? I) .n't you love your new baby hr-thci? Tommy viciously) Well, I did till s in lai ly came iu Ulld said he looked llKc in lie di-1 it in sport ; He alone is to blame ; The fi.s- was too short. Now hi- finger's the hi me. Amicus Wny do y.m use tlio ex pression funny joke? Aren't all jokes funny? F.ditor Not by a long shot. The jokes that other fellows get oil' at your expense arc never funny. She Do you renumber, J.icl-. this day one year ago you offered me your linn I nud heart and 1 cruelly refused you? I I have thought better of it since. He Vinph! So have I. "1 inn not understand ze language," said the despairing Fretic! nan ; "I learn how to pronounce ze word 'hy drophobia. ' and zen I learn .at zo doc tors sometimes pronounce it fatal!" Eastern Visitor How was it you did not hang that murderer? Did ho establish tin alibi? Quick Drop Dan That's just what he did. When the sheriff went to the jail to hang him he wasn't there. "A women's no means ye- "said tho uinu of twenty, who naturally knows all about women. "That may be tho rule," assented the married one, "but it il ii-sn't work both ways. Unfor tunately u women's yes doesn't liK-oil uo. " An Army of Five Soldiers. The It -public of (ionst, which is tiii: sinaliest republic iu the world, is minuted iu the Lower Pyrenees. It nt lius a population of about sixty pel-sous, and maintains a standing army of five sol, hers, the son-iu-'a'.v of the President being the Com in .Midei-in-Chief. The republic's in dependence is recognized by both S;n;u mi I France, between which it li'-s It i leet n President every livo via:-, anil its revenues amount to CVhO. It is c'ainiin ouiside atten tion now because of a threatened re Vii ulioii owing to the publication of a in -ws a per by oiie-seveuth of tho pop ulation without receiving executive sanction, it proclamation having bi eu is-n d by the President prohibiting fie p .uilica.iou of any newspaper with out ii.m consent. 'liie tiller of tho Mayflower is still i x nt, and is now iu the possession f Mr. Mortimer of Crediton, Dtvou. shire, England, Mi 4 its I fl . v irMnn ir inn
The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Aug. 27, 1896, edition 1
1
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