4
SHAKESPEARE AT THE FRONT
Famous Engl.sh Actress Declares Ev
ery Performance She Gave for
Soldiers Was a Joy.
Hiss Lena Ashwell, the distinguished
London actress, who has been giving a
Bomber of dramas and Shakespearean
plays to soldiers at the front, waxes
eloquent upon her strange and won
derful auditory. "No Tommy is stodgy,
as a West end audience is," she re
starts. "Everv performance was a
y.-
The Tommies show their devotion in
aU sorts of ways. Some Tommies, hear
ing she was coming, built her scenery
oat of odds and ends of canvas and
wood, painted red and yellow, exactly
Hke the framework of a Punch and
Judy show. Another group of men.
working with the forage supplies in
Rouen, on the railway side, where
tbere is scarcely any blooms of any
sort, managed to get her a little tight
bunch of flowers, arranged with a bit
of paper like an old-fashioned bouquet.
SOU another devoted group gave her
a little box of silver, beautifully chased.
But what she treasures most is a
lucky bean. The young soldier who
gave it to her stood grasping her hands
fa the dark, saying blunderingly that
he had been eleven months in the
trenches and that she could not Imag
ine what it meant to him to see a lady,
much less hear her speak ; that this
3ean had been all over the world with
Mm and had brought him good luck
Se hadn't been wounded yet and now
be wanted her to have it. The boy was
simply giving her everything. No won
der she set his bean in the best of gold
and wears it always.
A Treat for Dad.
One day some one sent me up a box
of cigars from the cigar store down
stairs. Arthur, my oftice boy, brought
them in and stood near my desk while
I unwrapped the package. As I opened
the box I said to him jokingly as he
was too young to smoke "Will you
have a cigar, Arthur?" And Arthur re
plied: "I don't smoke, but my father
does." So I said : "All right, take one
for your father."
He picked out a cigar and put it
away in his inside coat pocket. As he
started away I said to him, more out
of curiosity than anything else : "What
does jour father do, Arthur?"
Arthur remained silent and blushed
deeply. It made me more curious than
ever.
"Come, speak up," I urged.
"He k-k-keeps a cigar store," stam
mered Arthur as he bolted off. Puck.
The Cure.
Signor Mascagni, the composer, often
leads the orchestra at La Scala in j
Milan and at the Constansi in Rome, i
M& never refuses an encore.
"In my youth" thus he explains the j
natter "I was an orchestra leader at
dollar a day. Perhaps my low pay j
lad soured me. At that time, at any !
sate, I would not grant an encore for
any consideration.
"Well, leading 'Santanello' once in
Naples, I refused an encore of a cer
tain song in my usual manner. The
Neapolitan audience shouted and
roared. I was, of course, firm. But
suddenly I felt a blow on the back of
my head and fell off my high chair
down among the violins.
"I had been struck with a stool
Burled from the top gallery. I rose and
promptly repeated the song which the
audience desired. From that day to
this I have never refused an encore."
An Elegant Translation.
A Boston girl who had been taking
her first lesson in bicycle riding ex
pressed her satisfaction at home at the
resnlt of the experiment.
"The man said," she repeated, "that
I had made most satisfactory progress
for a novice."
"Why, did he really say that?" was
The surprised query.
"Well, no," answered the Boston
fonng woman, after a moment's reflec
tion. "What he did say was, 'You'll
jo fust rate for a new beginner !' "
Christian Register.
Whenever You Need a General Tonic
Take Grove's
The Old StEndard Grove's Tasteless
chill Tonic is equally valuable as a Gen
end Tonic because it contains the well
known tonic properties of QUININE and
IRON. It acts on the Liver, Drives out
Malaria, Enriches the Blood and Builds
ap the Whole System. 60 cents.
No Slacker.
Witty One Corporal Strutt enlist
ed in April. He's the most patriotic
recruit I've met.
Pretty One How's that?
Witty One He's highly insulted be
cause his father sent him some money
by draft. Town Topics.
Certainly Does.
"Did you see where the first prls
uer taken by an American in the
trenches weighed 220 pounds?"
"That certainly lent weight to the
incident."
In the Same Class.
Tm certainly down on my luck."
"And I'm up against it." Baltimore
American.
East Dallas, Tex., has renamed Ger
soania street "America."
A wise head makes a close mouth:
English Proverb.
Trieste, Austria, is noted for meer
schaum pipes.
E53
A Message to Mothers
YOU know the real human doctors right around in your neighborhood :
the doctors made of flesh and blood just like you : the doctors with
souls and hearts : those men who are responding to your call in the
dead of night as readily as in the broad daylight; they are ready
to tell you the good that Fletcher's Castoria has done, is doing and
will do, from their experience and their love for children.
Fletcher's Castoria is nothing new. We are not asking you to
try an experiment. We just want, to impress upon you the importance
of buying Fletcher's.
Your physician will tell you this, as he knows thero are a num
ber of imitations on the market, and he is particularly interested in
the welfare of your baby.
Geaaine Castoria always bears tbe
Lemons Whiten and j
Beautify the Skin! ' 1
Make Cheap Lotion j
rasssssissss
The juice of two fresh lemons strain
ed into a bottle containing three ounces
of orchard white makes a whole quar
ter pint of the most remarkable lemon
skin beautifier at about the cost one
must pay for a small jar of the ordi
nary cold creams. Care should be tak
en to strain the lemon juice through a
fine cloth so no lemon pulp gets in,
then this lotion will keep fresh for
months. Every woman knows that lem
on juice is used to bleach and remove
such blemishes as freckles, sallowness
and tan and is the ideal skin softener,
smoothener and beautifier.
Just try it ! Make up a quarter pint
of this sweetly fragrant lemon lotion
and massage it daily into the face,
neck, arms and hands. It should natur
ally help to whiten, soften, freshen and
bring out the hidden roses and beauty
of any skin. It is wonderful for rough,
red hands.
Tour druggist will sell three ounces
of orchard white at little cost, and any
grocer will supply the lemons. Adv.
Lost His Protection.
A Kansas City man, who is very ac
tive in the affairs of his lodge, was
passing the week-end at Excelsior
Spring, a near-by mineral water re
sort. He confided to a friend that he
would like to scrape an acquaintance
with a striking-looking woman they
were both admiring.
"Why don't you try?" asked the
friend.
"Couldn't think of flirting with her,"
came the horrified reply. "Her hus
band and I are brother lodge mem
bers." The next week-end the friend again
went to the sprfhgs. In one of the
prominent promenades lie soon saw
the lodge member and the striking
looking woman they had admired,
walking arm in arm, and apparently
much taken up with each other. At
the first chance he asked his friend
for an explanation.
"Thought her husband was a lodge
brother of yours," he said.
"Oh, that's all right," was the an
swer. "I looked him up on the books,
and he hadn't paid his dues!" Every
body's Magazine.
DRUGGISTS PLEASED WITH
GOOD KIDNEY MEDICINE
I have sold your remedy for the past
fifteen years and have sufficient confidence
in it to give it my personal recommenda
tion. I believe it is one of the best medi
cines of its class on the market today and
I find pleasure in selling it at all times.
Vers- trulv vours,
KAMIXER'S" DRUG STORE,
F. V. Kaminer, Prop.,
Nov. 1, 1916. Spartanburg, S. C.
Letter to
Dr. Kilmer tr Co.
Bintfhamton. N. Y.
Prove What Swamp-Root Will Do For Yob
Send ten cents to Dr. Kilmer & Co.,
Binghamton, N. Y., for a sample size
bottle. It wilj convince anyone. Yon
will also receive a booklet of valuable in
formation, telling about the kidneys and
bladder. When writing, be sure and men
tion this paper. Large and medium size
bottles for sale at all drug stores. Adv.
No Cause for Alarm.
The other Monday afternoon a wom
an rushed excitedly down an alley in
the poor quarter and, stopping at a
house, knocked loudly. Receiving no
reply, she knocked a second time. Still
no answer,
A third time she knocked, and then
a window flung open and a woman
whose appearance betrayed signs of
a sudden awakening leaned out.
"Well, what is it?" she asked.
The woman below looked up and ex
claimed with bated breath :
'"Mrs. Skinner, yer 'usband's got ten
days H
"Dear, dear me, Mrs. Jones," was the
reply, "is that all? How yer did un
nerve me ! I thought it was that
scarcecrow after the rent agin."
Not a Dependent.
"Have you anyone dependent on
you?" asked the exemption clerk.
"Well," replied Mr. Meekton, "Hen
rietta shows me what to do with my
money. But she Is most independent
about it." i
Used to It.
Doctor H'm, have you ever beeji
rejected before?
The Don Juan (undergoing re-examination)
Oh, yassir. Little affairs of
the heart, y'kuow.
Its Kind.
"What sort of a dinner was that of
the teamsters?"
"I guess it was an a la cart one."
Opposing Results.
"What airs Mame does put on."
"Well, her finishing school was the
beginning of it."
The man who can extract olive oil
from cotton seed should be able to
gather figs from thistles.
Sore Eyes, Blood-Shot Eyes, Watery Eye.
Sticky Eyes, all healed promptly with night
ly applications of Roman Eye Balsam. A dr.
New York city has more than 450,
000 dogs.
Britain has 2,500,000 licensed dogs.
signature of
The maw
CABIAE
I would be true, for there are those
who trust me,
I would be pure for there are those
who care.
I would be strong for there Is much to
suffer
I would be brave for there is much
to dare.
H. Arnold Walters.
HOT DAY DRINKS.
Mix the juice of one pineapple and
one lemon with four tablespoonfuls of
mint leaves cut in
to bits and a half
cupful of sugar.
Beat the whites of
four eggs until
stiff and gradually
whip in the fruit
juice. Add a quart
of carbonated wa
ter and serve.
Maple Egg. Beat an egg until
foamy, edd gradually two tablespoon
fuls of Ice-cold maple sirup. Stir In
half a cv.pf ul of rich milk. Cover with
whipped cream and top It with grated
maple sugar.
Tea Cream. Pour boiling water over
two ounces of the best tea, cover and
let stand for five minutes, stir into it
one quart of scalded cream, cover and
stand five minutes, strain, sweeten
and chill.
Grape Eggnog. Beat one egg very
light, add half a glass of grape juice
and beat again. Then add half a glass
of cream, beat well, sweeten if desired
and serve with wafers.
Banana Float. Mash three bananas
with the juice of one lemon, add a
cupful of sugar and gradually one cup
ful of sugar, then fold in two cupfuls
of whipped cream. Put a few spoonfuls
of this mixture in a glass and fill up
with orange juice.
Jelly Jumble. Dissolve a glassful
each of blackberry, crab apple and
plum jelly in two quarts of boiling
water. When cold add the juice of two
lemons and sugar to sweeten.
Egg Orangeade. Beat separately
the white and yolk of an egg. Add
gradually to the yolk the juice of one
orange, then add the beaten white and
stir to a froth. Pour milk into a glass
and top with the mixture. Serve with
pale yellow nasturtiums on the plate
as a garnish.
Ginger Water. This is an old-fash-oned
drink which is most refreshing
and wholesome. Mix a tablespoonful
of ginger with three of sugar and add
a pint of iced water, stir until well
mixed and serve at once.
Place marshmallows on round crack
ers, put a nut meat on each and brown
In the oven.
We are very slightly changed
From the semi-apes who ranged
India's prehistoric clay;
vv noso arew me longest dow,
Ran his brother down, you know.
As we run men down today.
Kipling.
SOME FRUIT DISHES.
Peaches may be used in various
combinations for desserts, the follow
ing is one worth bearing
in mind :
Peach Trifle. Scald a
pound of peaches, drain,
remove the skins and
stones. Prepare a sirup
of sugar and water and
when boiling hot drop In
the peaches and cook
until soft, then rub them through a
sieve. Pour the sirup into a sponge
! cake and when well-soaked add the
; pulp carefully. Whip a pint of cream,
add two tablespoonfuls of sugar, a tea
1 spoonful of almond extract and pile
lightly on top of the cake just before
sending to the table.
Fresh fruit may be used for this
dessert, not cooking the fruit but stir
ring the sugar Into the pulp after put
ting it through a sieve.
Apricot Tapioca Pudding. Cover one
and a half cupfuls of tapioca with cold
water and soak three hours, then cook
In three cupfuls of boiling water, add
a half teaspoonful of salt and a cup
ful of sugar, cook In a double boiler
until transparent.
Peel and stone twelve apricots and
put them in the bottom of a buttered
dish, pour over the tapioca mixture
and bake in a moderate oven for twen
ty minutes. Serve hot or cold with
cream and sugar. .
Gooseberry Chutney. Wash, stem
and top six cupfuls of gooseberries,
add one chopped onion and tw cup
fuls of raisins, put all through a food
chopper. Add one and a half cupfuls
of brown sugar to the chopped mix
ture, two tablespoonfuls of ppwdered
ginger, one tablespoonful of cinnamon,
three tablespoonfuls of mustard, two
tablespoonfuls of salt, one-fourth of a
teaspoonful of red pepper and paprika
mixed, one teaspoonful of tumeric
powder and a quart of cider vinegar.
Bring gently to the boiling point and
simmer for an hour. It may be bottled
unstrained or if strained may be used
as a relish or catsup.
Onion Soup. Take two large onions
or four medium-sized ones and after
slicing, fry them in three tablespoon
fuls of fat. When the onions are soft,
cook them quickly until brown, stir
ring all the time to keep them from
burning. Then add a pint and a half of
water and the same amount of skim
milk. Add flour to thicken and serve
poured over toasted bread and sprinkle
with grated cheese. The cheese is an
improvement especially if all water is
used instead of milk and water in pre
paring the soup.
lflu-ulc TvW-iYtjejkl
Count the Days.
Reckon the days in which you have
not been angry. I used to be angry
every day ; then every third and fourth
day. If you miss so long as 30 days,
offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving. Epic
tetus. One of Nature's By-Products.
Among the industries that have de
veloped at Niagara is the manufacture
of artificial graphite, now largely used
for purposes of lubrication. Graphite
Is also employed in many electro-chemical
processes
WOMAN NOW IN
PEEFECT HEALTH
What Came From Reading
a Pinkham Advertisement.
Patewon, N. J. "I thank you for
the Lydia E. Pinkham remedies as they
nave maae me wen
and healthy. Some
time ago I felt so
run down, had pains
in my back and side,
was very irregular,
tired, nervous, had
such bad dreams,
did not feel like eat
ing and had short
breath. I read your
advertisement in
the newspapers and
decided to try a bottle of Lydia E. Pink
ham's Vegetable Compound. It worked
from the first bottle,. so I took a second
and a third, also a bottle of Lydia E.
Pinkham's Blood Purifier, and now I am
just as well as any other woman. I ad
vise every woman, single or married,
who is troubled with any of the afore
said ailments, to try your wonderful
Vegetable Compound and Blood Purifier
and I am sure they will help her to get
rid of her troubles as they did me."
Mrs. Elsie J. Van der Sande, 36 No.
York St, Paterson, N-
Write the Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine
Co., (confidential) Lynn, Mass, if you
need special advice.
GREElT MOUNTAIN
ASTHMA
TREATMENT
Standard remedy for fifty
year and result of many years
experience In treatment of
throat and lung dlaeaaes by 1
Dr. J. H. Guild.
Free Sample and Practical
Treatise on Asthma, lta cause,
treatment, etc., sent upon re- i
quest. 85c. A $1.00 at druggists. '
J. H. GUILD CO., Rupert, V. j
Sold for 47 years. For Malaria. Chills
and Fever. Also a Fine General
. BJ . MM MB MM MM K . WMJV.
Modest Request.
One young man who was highly sen
sitive about an impediment which he
had in his speech went to a stammer
ers' institute and asked for a course 1
of treatments. The professor asked
him if he wanted a full or a partial
course.
"A p-p-purtial c-c-course."
"To what extent would you like a
partial course?"
"Enough s-so that wh-when I go to
a f-f-florlst's and ask for a c-c-c-chr-chrys-s-anth
(whistle) e-in-mum, the
th-thing won't w-wilt b-before I g-get
itr
YES! MAGICALLY!
CORNS LIFT OUT
WITH FINGERS
You say to the drug store man,
"Give me a small bottle of freezone."
This will cost very little but will
positively remove ecery hard or soft
corn or callus from one's feet.
A few drops of this new ether com
pound applied directly upon a tender,
aching corn relieves the soreness in
stantly, and soon the' entire corn or '
callus, root and all. dries up and can
be lifted off with the fingers.
This new way to rid one's feet of
corns was introduced by a Cincinnati
man, who says that freezone dries in
a moment, and simply shrire-s up the
corn or callus without irritating the
surrounding skin.
If your druggist hasn't any freezone
tell him to order a small bottle from I
his wholesale drug house for you. adv.
His Long Stand.
Percy, being down to recite at the
temperance concert, stood up to do or
die. He got along all right until he
reached the words, "He stood beside
the bier !" Then his memory failed
him.
"He stood beside the bier!" he re
peated, trembling.
The evil spirits on the back benches
murmured one to another.
"He stood beside the bier !" groaned
Percy, and he drew a moist hand
across his dripping forehead.
"Go on !" yelled a voice from the
rear. "It'll get flat while you're wait
ing, you fool !"
Fowl Rebellion.
First Hen The government is go
ing to make us lay more eggs. What
do you say?
Second Hen For one, I am firmly
set against it.
Some Gardener.
Flatbush Is he ambidextrous?
Bensonhurst Sure ; he can hoe
with both hands. Yonkers Statesman.
Its Character.
"He wiped up the floor with his op
ponent." "What a sweeping victory V
It's hard enough for the average
man to love his friends, without in
cluding his enemies.
Holland is to have unemployment
Insurance.
"No bowl is too
big when it holds
Post
Toasties
in i m
(ndllTonic
WOMAN STEALS
ANOTHER BABY
Mother, Frantic Over the Loss of
' Her Own Infant, Resorts
to Theft.
FOOLS HER HUSBAND
Man, Home From Extended Business
Trip, Believes Child His Own,
Until Police Reveal Age
Discrepancy.
Boston. When Mrs. Josephine M.
Blaine of Dorchester, Mass., entered
the Boston Homeopathic hospital, on
the eve of motherhood, she did so with
high hopes and ambitions for the lit
tle one that was to be brought into
being. The baby came and died. When
the mother Was told, she lay as if
stunned and her life was despaired
of. But nature was strong and the
woman recovered sufficiently to de
part fpr her home a few days ago.
Leaving the hospital, a frail little
woman clothed in somber black, Mrs.
Blaine did not take a car to her lfome.
Instead, she walked, brooding over an
inestimable loss, picturing her greet
ing, when she should meet her hus
band, who was on a business trip and
had not learned of the baby's death,
but was on his way home to meet his
wife and their little one.
Real Mother Discovers Loss.
As she passed a store in the heart
of the shopping district, she saw three
baby carriages unattended. She peered
into one of them. A lusty little fel
low was sleeping quietly. Without a
moment's hesitation she pushed the
carriage down the street and took the
baby home.
Meanwhile the real mother, after
making her purchase, left the store
and looked in vain for the baby and
carriage. She notified the police and
in a short time clews were obtained
that focused about the home of Mrs.
Blaine. An officer entered the house
and inquired of the woman as to the
number of persons in the household.
Mrs. Blaine named her husband, her-
Pushed the Carriage Down the Street.
self, and their baby, five months old.
He asked to see the child after a
brief interview with the husband, who
replied to an inquiry by stating that
the baby was about three weeks old.
Finding she was trapped, Mrs. Blaine
broke down and confessed.
Law Steps In.
Mrs. Agnes Law, the real mother of
the baby, was summoned and identi
fied her child. She, too, cried, first
with joy, then with a woman's sym
pathy for another. The law stepped
In and Mrs. Blaine was taken to a sta
tion house, charged with kidnaping
Noting her condition, officers suggest
ed that she be removed to a hospital
for treatment. Her husband, shocked
but loyal, accompanied her and spent
the night in consoling the grief-stricken
woman. It is not believed the
charge of kidnaping will be prosecuted
by the authorities.
BEST JOB IN THE WORLD
Youth Makes Love to Mine Officer's
Daughter at $4.50 Per
Day.
Keewalin, Minn. According to one
man here, there is a job in a local
mine which need never be filled with
a strikebreaker.
The man who makes the assertion is
a little bit peeved about something, but
he declares that among the mine em
ployees are five boys. One of them
has "the job."
"He makes love to an officer's daugh
ter," says this man, "and he gets $4.50
a day without doiiag anything ; he just
makes love."
Oh, you job !
DOG LEADS HIER PUP ASTRAY
Owner Is Fined Two Dollars for
Each Dog in Court in
Brooklyn.
New York. It cost a mother dog
just $4 here to lead a pup astray from
the narrow path. The case came up
before Magistrate Naumer when James
Pescene of No, 530 Grand avenue was
charged with having two dogs unmuz
zled. "It's the mother, your honor," he
explained. "These two dogs are mother
and son and the mother leads the son
astray, doggone it." "I hate to do it,"
said the judge, "but two dollars fine
for each dog."
Old Man Climbs Windmill.
Hiawatha, Kan. Though Henry
Adams of this city is eighty-two years
old, he doesn't have to call in help
when a little something goes wrong
with his windmill. Recently he climb
ed to the top of a 40-foot windmill and
made some needed repairs.
CALOMEL MAKES YOU SICK, UGH!
ITS MERCURY AND SALIVATES
x a 1 1 I r x I .
airaigmen upi uuii i i-use a uay s worn uean Your Slimnieu
Liver and Bowels With "Dodson's Liver Tone."
Ugh! Calomel makes you sick. Take
a dose of the vile, dangerous drug to
night and tomorrow you may lose a
day's work.
Calomel is mercury or quicksilver
which causes necrosis of the bones.
Calomel, when it comes into contact
with sour bile crashes into it, break
ing it up. This is when you feel that
awful nausea and cramping. If you
feel sluggish and "all knocked out," if
your liver is torpid and bowels consti
pated or you have headache, dizziness,
coated tongue, if breath is bad or
stomach sour, just try a spoonful of
harmless Dodson's Liver Tone.
Here's my guarantee Go to any
drug store or dealer and get a 50-cent
bottle of Dodson's Liver Tone. Take
a spoonful tonight and if it doesn't
WAS BEYOND THE ADVOCATE
Counsel Could Think of No Possible
Reason Why Judge Should Be
on the Bench.
It was one of those tense moments
in a crowded court when the prisoner's
fate seemed to depend on the next an
swer of the witness. There was an
expectant hush on all present, when
suddenly the opposing counsel butted
in with a noisy objection based on
some obscure point of law, says Lon
don Tit-Bits.
For ten minutes or more the pris
oner was forgotten while judge and
counsel were involved in a tangle of
legal phrases and precedents. Although
the controversy was absolutely unin
telligible to the crowd present, it was
clear enough to the dullest intelligence
that counsel was more than holding
his own in the argument. This was
also painfully apparent to the judge
himself, whp, in a desperate effort to
recover his official dignity, snapped
out :
"What does counsel suppose I am
on the bench for?"
"Well," said the learned advocate,
slowly and reflectively, "I must confess
your lordship has got me there."
CUTICURA IS SO SOOTHING
To Itching, Burning Skins It Not Only
Soothes, but Heals Trial Free.
Treatment: Bathe the affected sur
face with Cuticura Soap and hot wa
ter, dry gently and apply Cuticura
Ointment. Repeat morning and night.
This method affords immediate relief,
and points to speedy healment. They
Are ideal for every-day toilet uses.
Free sample each by mall with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L,
Boston. Sold everywhere. Adv.
An Object of Hatred.
Senator Simmons was discussing the
proposed war tax on automobile own
ers. "Making war taxes," he said, "isn't
pleasant work. It puts one in the po
sition of the facetious minister.
"A facetious minister at Ocean
Grove took a little girl on his knee and
said :
" T don't love you, Nellie.'
"All the ladies on the breeze-swept
veranda laughed, but little Nellie
frowned and said :
" 'You've got to love me. You've
got to.'
"'Got to? How so?' laughed the di
vine. " 'Because,' said Nellie stoutly,
'you've got to love them that hate you
and I hate you, goodness knows !' "
Small Game.
"Your son is a great fisherman, Isn't
he?"
"Calls himself such. He's just back
from vacation. Caught a bunch of
measly trout when he might have
caught an heiress."
FT.TXIR BABEE A GOOD TONIC
And Drives Malaria Out of the System.
"Your 'Babek' acts like magic ; I have given
It to numerous people in my parish who were
Buffering with chills, malaria and fever. I rec
ommend it to those who are sufferers and In
need of a good tonic." Rev. S. Szymanowski,
St. Stephen's Church, Perth Amboy, N. J.
Elixir Babrk, 50 cents, all druggists or by
Parcel Post, prepaid, from Kloczewski A Co.,
Washington, D. C.
A Different Implement.
Red-Nosed Tramp Lady, kin I cut
your grass fer a meal? I'm a first
class lawn mower.
Lady Go away ! You look more
like an old rake.
Pardonable Crime.
He If I should kiss you, would you
have me arrested?
She What would be the use? Any
judge would acquit you.
Changed.
"There's safety in numbers."
"There used to be, before the draft
numbers were printed."
Described.
"What is a practical joke?"
"A fool's attempt to make a fool out
of the other fellow."
Both Ways.
"Do you think Russia will come
back?" "Yes, and she'll come back by
going to the front."
Constipation generally indicates diaordered
stomach, liver and bowels. Wrignfs Indian
Vegetable Pills restore regularity without
griping. Adv.
A well-known fern or flowering
plant makes a good wedding present.
Appleton, Wis., is to have an auto
factory.
It is well to honor pretension by si
leoce. WPN Granulated Eyelids,
Sore Eyes. Eves Inflamed bv
Son, Dust and Wind quickly
1 relieved by Murine. Try it in
' your Eyes and in Baby's Eyes.
No Smarting, Just EyeComfort
Murine Eye Remedy &SgS&fcS&
Salve, in Tubes 25c. For Book of the Bv Fre.
Ask Murine Eye Remedy Co.. Chicago
fririfiriTi
r Ml as m
straighten you right up and make y0n
feel fine and vigoroua by morning
want you to go back to the store and
get your money. Dodsos's Liver Ton
is destroying the sale of calomel k
cause it is real liver medicine; entirt
ly vegetable, therefore it cannot sail
vate or make you sick.
I guarantee that one spoonful ai
Dodson's Liver Tone will put your Z
gish liver to work and clean your bow
els of that sour bile and constipated
waste which is clogging your system
and making you feel miserable. I guar
antee that a bottle of Dodson's Liver
Tone will keep your entire family feei.
ing fine for months. Give it to yow
children. It is harmless; doesn't grip,
and they like its pleasant taste. Ad
Compliments of the Day.
Soldiers have to do their own tuend
ing, when it is done at all, and it ap.
pears although few persons would
have guessed it that the thoughtful
war office supplies them with outfits
for that purpose. Otherwise, this j0ke
from the Journal of the American Med
ical association would be impossible:
Everything was ready for kit inspect
tion ; the recruits stood lined up reiidy
for the officer, and the officer had his
bad temper all complete. He marched
up and down the Hue, grimly eying
each man's bundle of needles and soft
soap, and then he singled out 1'rlvate
MacTootle as the man who was to re
ceive his attentions.
"Toothbrush?" he roared.
"Yes, sir."
"Razor?"
"Yes, sir."
"Hold-all?"
"Yes, sir."
"Hm ! You're all right, apparently,"
growled the officer. Then he barked,
"housewife?"
"Oh, very well, thank you," said the
recruit, amiably ; "how's yours?"
Too Much to Expect.
We overheard, on a Collinwood car,
the best excuse for not working that
we could ever have Imagined. File It
for reference.
One fellow said, "How do you like
your job down at the mill?"
"I ain't workin' there no more," an
swered the other. '
"Got a better Job?"
"Nope. Ain't got no job."
"What did you quit for?"
"Well, I couldn't see no use in keep
in' on at It. I flgger it that if I did
make good they'd expect me to keep
right on makln' good. That's too mtn-h
to expect of anybody, this klnda weath
er. So I quit. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Qualified.
Motorist "Do you know all about
automobiles?" Applicant "Yes, sir; I
used to be a traffic cop."
Don't think that because you get a
ham from a small hog that you can get
a hammer from a large one.
mmmm - i . s
A GUARANTEED REMEDY FOR
HAY FEVER-ASTHMA
Tour lom will bi refunded by ronr drotKist
without any question If this remedy doe not tenetu
every case of Asthma, Bronchial Asthma avl the
Asthmatic symptoms accompanying Hay Fever. o
matter how violent the attacks oi obstinate tbe cast
ADR. R. SCHIFFMANN'S g
STHMADOK
AND ASTHMADOR CIGARETTES
positively (rives INSTANT RBLIBF in every cnfji
and has permanently cured thousands who had Been
considered incurable, after having tried every otner
means of relief In vain, Aathmatlcs should avail
themselves of this guarantee oiler through tbeirewn
druggist. Buy a 60-cent package and P"""' 52
announcement to your druggist. Ton will be JJJ
sole judge as to whether yon are benefitted and tne
druggist will give yon back your money If you are
not. We do not know of any fairer proposition
which we could make. 31
R. Schlffmann Co., Proprietors, 81. Paul, Minn.
0XIPJMI
Kills
Chills
Good for Malaria, constipation
bili ousn ess a fine tonic. I
Guaranteed or moneij back i
Ask your dealer jl
Behrens Drug Co.. Waeo.Tcx.
SsSSS
THICK, SWOLLEN GLANDS
that make a horse Wheeze,
Roar, have Thick Wind
or Choke -down, can be
reduced with
also other Bunches or Swellings. IN o blister,
no hair gone, and hors kept at work, eco
nomical only a few drops required a : an ap
plication. $2 per bottle delivered. Book 3 H rrea.
ABSORBINE, JR., the antiseptic liniment tor
mankind, reduces Cysts, Wens, Painful,
Swollen Veins and Ulcers.fl and $2 a bottle at
dealers or delivered. Book "Evidence" free.
W.F. YOUNG, P. D. F.. 310 Ttpl$t., Sprlnofleld. Mi-
THE CROWELL SANATORIUM
for MORPHINE and
ALCOHOLIC ADDICTIONS
Methods safe and successful. A blph claw P
combining- the facilities of a sanatorium with c m
forts an? freedom of a prlrate home. JfJ''nd,u$
treatment. Our method renders the pnl J
MORPHINISM as painless aa i an operation.
Write for reserred room. Terms I126.U0.
9 N. CsUdwwll St. CHARLOTTE. N. 0.
f Every Woman WantV
H.IIBU'il-im Slim II I II I
Dissolved in water for douches stops
pelvic catarrh, ulceration and inflam
mation. Recommended by Lydia .
Pinkham Med. Co, for ten years,
a 1 1: I ...o.l mtarrb.
n lioaiuix w uuui iwi v. .
sore throat and sore eyes. Economical.
Mas extra oramary clean ting ana Rcrmiou.. t
I Samel Frew. 50c all dniwaats. or poP
V msfl. The Paston Toilet Company. Botton. Mr.-
W. N. U., CHARLOTTE, NO. 35 -1917-
i linn i IMaa l