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VOL. I.
RALEIGH, N. C, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 7, 1885.
NO. 45.
A Game f Cards.
Our lijfe is but a game of cards,
Which each onejfias to learn ;
Each sbuflles, cut and deals his cards,
And earh his tramp doth turn. .
Sme turn a high card to the top, 1
Whilst others turns a ldw,;
Some hold a hand quite full of trumps,
While others none can show.
Wlitu hearts are trumps we play for love
And pleasure decks the hour,
'o thought- of sorrow mare our joy
In friendship's rosy bower;'
For when the heart is on the top
Our cards we at random play,
But when the heart is in the hand
Life's then a holiday.
When diamonds chance to crown the deck,
' Tis then men stake their gold
Laree sums are often lost and wop,
By gamblers young and pld ;
Then men become the dupe6 of rogues
And rogues each other cheat, ''
And be indeed is a wise man '"' -JrT
Who never meets defeat. .
When clfbs are trumps look out for war.
On ocean or on land,
For horrid deeds are often done ,
When clubs are in the hand.
But when the last card spam
Is turned by the hand of time,
'Tis it which finishes up the game
In every land and clime.
It matters not how much each wins,'
Or how much all may save, ,
You'll find the spade turns up at last -
Ami digs the players grave.
THE GUN SWAP.
" Hail ! land o' cakes and brither Scots,
Frue Maidenkirk to Johnny Groots,
If there's a hole in a' your coots,
I ride ve tent it; "
A ehiei's amang you, takin' notes,
And, faith, he'S prent it."
-Somebody has said, Hon sumvs temper
npieiite, or "words to that effect," and
the occasional follies of men who are generally-wise
are oftentimes the source Df
much. amusement to those who are in a
state of complete sanity. Indeed, most
frequently our merriment comes either
from our own weaknesses or those of our
friends. It is thus that folly is not an un
mixed evil, though candor compels me to
say that I think it far safer to expect sub
stantial enjoyment from wisdom than
from its counterpart, notwithstanding we
are told that the " wkest men sometimes
relUh a
little nonsense," and practice it
besides. Still, we would be a' rather stu
pid world if not occasionally enlivened by
t departure trom tne neat line ot calcu
jlating reason. He, therefore, who, while
meaning and doing no harm, affords
amusement to bis associates, is not to be
''classed as an enemy to society, or as one
who is worthless in the sphere in which he
" moves. I have known some really great
men who had idiosyncrasies aonarentlv in
consistent with their characters which af
forded diversion ' to those who were far
from being their equals in intellectual
points, and who, in their turn, exhibited
far more folly than that at which they
laughed. Indeed,- every neighborhood
has its man -who stands out pre-eminent
lor some particular quality, and this qual
ity is now and then on the ludicrous side
of, the line of human action. Such a one
is often the butt of his fellows, and his
conduct serves to amuse as well as interest
those'' who hear of it or witness it.
Among my sporting friends is one whom
I have often mentioned in the columns of
the Fared and Stream, using Mud as his
Hmit a plume. JNow Mud is not his name,
ue Dears, as a given name, that of a man
a statesman born on the soil of Vir
ginia, and developed into the brilliant
proportions of one of the mightiest ora
tors of the century m the State of Ken
tucky, by which State he was often hon
ored with a seat in each of the halls of
the Federal Congress. The remaining
part of the name was once regarded as the
surest tortihcation a city could have, ren
uenng it safe from attack, unless the ene
my scaled or used a battering-ram, or re
sorted to such strategy as the Greeks em
ployed in the siege of Troy. Mud is a
man of intelligence, has had superior edu
cational and social advantages, possesses
high moral and physical courage, and is
controlled by a sense of duty, which is
unyielding. With all these commendable
qualities he occasionally nay, very often
startles his friends by the commission of
acts not very complimentary to his under-
. sianaing. i
Mud is the owner of a Scott Premier,
iu-Dore and 28 inches lone It is a beau
tiful little gun, and worthy of an attention
uicu is rarely given to it. Mudisscrup
ulously neat in bis person almost dandy
,18b and yet he allows " Little Anna" to
become verv foul and to remain o. In
this deplorable condition he of ten takes it
In. .1. t i i . . i ...
uik, me neia, ana, in such cases at least,
tails to get as many birds as his bag will
jiold. Frequently when he hits, the wound
is oniy a flesh one, and the.gamc comes
as he expresses it "limping" to the
jrronnd. Besides this, his' eye is not al
ways clear nor his aim stead v not from
wimky and, like many others, he charges
the fault of his mishap to the wrong cause.
yii recent occasion he went out on a
oird hunt with his neighbor and kinsman,.
'CLuci, ana met with such poor success
that he became distrusted "with his irun
nd came to the conclusion that he would
. get rid of it as soon as an opportunity pre
sented itself, n soon came and thus it
Wits; v
wr our town pKrsicians, Quint
"jvmgton, having: determined to relax
"imself somewhat from the uses of pills
1 ell-known dealer In Boston. In due
I t-nie the gun came, together with the bill,
I" was not expensive the charge being
nly p,'y For certain reasons not baa
ones he concluded ta play off on those
chanced t
placed the figure 1 just before 35, so. as to
uiaKe
Tli
it annear that he had naid SI 35.
ie gun was at tbe drug store of Tole &
.vington, and . Dr. Quint called to Ter
wej to come in and
look at it. After in-
feting it a while, Quint asked what he
thought it
n nad been from first hands he should sup-
hoi more than $50: Still less if it was
Irum second hands. To this surprise was
jessedand the bill exhibited. Then
eceel told him to send the. gun back, for
me charge was exorbitant1 The fiafraus
" n it not one? was confessed.
u was then suggested that he send over
"f his cousin Mud, and let him take a
Quite promptly this erect speeimen
'i humanity made his appearance, picked
J. . "1' Rur,j and gayc it an exceedingly
J-''f eal inspection. After the first admir-
s.
'ie gun to his face
, uieu mu iocks. men tnrcw
then looked close) at
" an
over, unbreeched it, peered at the
bolts, closed it. sighted along the barrels, ;
inspected the sight, viewed the stock, j
opened and looked through the barrels I
from each end, took it to tho light, re-examined
minutely in every particular; and
expressed his . high appreciation of the
beauty, finish and handiness of the fowl
ing piece, and the mechanical excellence
exhibited in the workmanship. His next
step was to inquire of Quint what he gave
for it. To this inquiry the owner replied
that it was 'second-hand," and then
handed him the bill.
After Mud had looked over it, he again
took up the gun, and gave it another look,
his eye sparkling with delight, as its deli
cate proportions came to view.- He was
enamored. His cupidity was aroused.
He had in his hand a gun which, if he
owned it, would enable him to triumph
over all competition in his hunts. Right,
cylinder; left, "not for ball." That was
just what he needed. That choke barrel
v would bring down the bird at long range
after he had ' ' grassed " one w ith the right.
Hiscore would be increased. Instead of
bringing up the rear, as usual, hc could
boast how he had left Teceel, Duffrey,
Wells and Jim L. G. far behind. His
mjnd was active as to the means by which
he could get that gun from Dr. Quint.
At last, after speaking in high 'terms of
the elegance of the little beauty, he ven
tured, very timidly--for his conscience
was smiting him a little to say that he
was the owner of a very fine Scott, which
cost $250, and would be willing to ex
change. Then he proposed squarely to
swap. Quint said he didn't know, any
thing of Mud's gun, that he had very lit
tle use lor a gun or any sort, and he sup
posed one would do him as well as an
other. Mud was still looking at the gun
with intense delight, his back being to
ward the counting room, in which sat list
ening his kinsman Teceel. So soon as the
swap was proposed, Teceel showed himself
to Quint, "unbeknownst" to Mud. and
gave him the wink." Quint then pro
tested again that he had but very little
use for & gun any way, that a gun "was all
he wanted, that he was foolish to have in
vested so much, that he was always happy
to accommodate his friends, and especially
his kinsmen, and if he knew anything of
the weapon offered in swap he might be
disposed, as a matter of kindness, to make
the trade. Mud's anxiety was on a strain,
and knowing Quint's confidence in the
judgment of Teceel, he told him that T.
knew the gun, and would say to him that
it was as he represented it. Then Q
called to T. and asked, the question. To
this inquiry the answer came that it was a
nice gun, and that he had long wanted it
himself. He advised the trade, and that
if he was willing, he (T.) would pay him
for his outlay, get Mud's gun. and with
the money Quint could purchase a less ex
pensive article. With this assurance the
Pill Roller reluctantly consented to the ex
change. Mud, being intent on getting an excel
lent bargain, now wanted the shells, load
ing tools and case thrown in. After t
little chaffing this was agreed to. Mud
was highly delighted. He indulged in the
following audible semi-soliloquy : " Well, I
may be stuck, but a trade is a trade, you
know, Quint. I never back out when J
have agreed,. I always stick. Of course.
you won't back. Yes, a trade's a trade,
Quint. This is a very fine gun. I am sat
isfied. You got it cheap. But mine is
tscott premier, you know. That means
the best quality.- It cost originaIly $250,
and is in good nx. well, T., are you
ready: to go homer i ll ta&e the gun
along, Quint, and deliver the other to Te
ceel. Will that suit?"
"Yes, cousin Mud. I am afraid I'm
cheated. It was foolish in me to pay so
much for a gun, anyhow. But, I don't
back out. A trade's a trade.
Putting the gun on his shoulder, and
telling Quint that he would get the other
or- Z v .t.itthc 1889 Exhibition. It is 1,000 feet high,
OXWVaO uui iuc tub otbutuwu. online '-V.
Jp- i j v. v -V v Xn.
Teceel, and sought the retreat of his home,
glowing with the anticipated joy of com- j
municating his brilliant achievement to
Mrs. Mud. As they walked along the
sideway he was "full" of the excellences
of his trade. Indeed, he got upon the
verge of bragging what he could now do
in the stubble and sedge and brush.
When they reached the gate at his dwell
ing for land is not so valuable with us
that private residences are on the walk,
but stand from thirty to seventy feet back
he stopped and said to his companion,
"I am satisfied with my trade, and you
must co'me in and get the other gun. But
what did Quint pay lor this one? 1 ex
pect he told you. He said he got a small
discount. What did he pay? It makes
no difference, of course for a trade's a
trade."
" Yes, he told mc, but it isbet that I
keep the price to myself, for if I should
let you know, it might dissatisfy you."
"Oh, no, it wouldn t. we nave made
a firm trade, and I always stick."
They had reached the piazza of the
house, and T. then said : " Now, Mud, a
trades a trade. You must not recant.
He told me, and, as you ask, I feel justi
fied in letting you know, but I fear you
will be dissatisfied."
"No danger at all. I know this is a
very fine gun. I can't be deceived. I am
too good a judge of mechanism for that,
I assure you."
"Well, then, he paid just $33 lor it.;7
At this announcement Mud raised him
self to an unusual perpendicularity, dis
gust clouded awav his smiles of joy, and
with an emphatic gesture he neid lorwara
the "fine gun," saying:' "Take it. It is
a cheat, a swindle. I'll not be defrauded
in that way."
"No. sirL Excuse me. A trades a
trade."
So overpowering was Mud's disappoint
ment and humiliation that, without an
other word, he opened the door, entered,
slammed the shutter in T.'s face, and left
him standing in utter amazement at the
conduct of the shrewd trader,
After he got indoors Mud placed tho
" stumbling block of offence" upon a set
tee, covered it well with shawls and over
coats, and with gloom in his heart and on
his brow, moodily asked how long it was
to dinner. "'Few and short were the
words to said " and as soon as the crav
ings of his ever anxious stomach were sat-
isfied. he Quickly left the dining room,
took up the covered cun. and, with rapid
and firm and indignant tread, wended his
way to the toeus in quo the swap was made.
Quint met his. scowling face with his
blandest smile, and meekly inquired why
the tempest raged why "so foul the fiery
plague within."
"Sir, you and T. have practiced a fraud
upon me. You have combined to swindle
me. You have entered into a base con
spiracy, sir, to victimize me. , But .I'U
show you that you can't "compass" me in
that way. Take your miserable gun
wouldn't have it. You only paid $35 for
it. If I could find a Justice of the Peace
I would have both of you arrested, and
held to answer a charge of 'obtaining
goods on false pretence.' The cheat was
bad enough. He was beginning to cool
off alittlel. But T. will tell Wells and
Mr, Duffrey, and I'll never hear the last of
it. The fact is, I expect Wells will tell
the readers of the Forest and Stream of it,
and I shall get notoriety, if not reputa
tion. Itjwas a mean trick in you." And
out of the door he stalked to reflect upon
his favorite saying, "a trade's a trade."
Hure enough, Teceel did tell Uunrey and
Wells, and Wells "took notes" of the
transaction and sends them to the forest
and Stream. All over this section the
fame of the exploit has gone, and when
Mud meets a friend one of the first in
quiries made of him is: "Have you a gun
you want to swap?" We told it on him
at Jo Duffrey 'r, in Chatham county, last
week, whose house, on "Hickory Moun
tain," we visited to find amusement among
the bird which George Leach left in that
section when he was "grooming" his
dogs for the show at High Point. Some
account pt that trip I hope to find time to
prepare before many .days for the amuse
ment of ! the readers of the Forest and
Stream. Perhaps I should not use the
word ' amusement," for it is far from be
ing certain that the description will con
tain anything likely to produce that re
sult. Nevertheless, I shall try to forward
something in regard to it which will not
displease. " I Wells.
KOCKINQHAM, IN. U., iiec. 25, 1883.
: FOREIGN NOTES.
Disaster and Depression.
Madrid, December 28, 1884. By the
recent earthquake 300 lives were lost at
Alhama, , 750 houses and a church were
destroyed and 30 persons were killed at
Periana, the Town Hall and many houses
were damaged at Torrox and the inhabi
tants fled from the town panicstricken.
It is now estimated that 600 persons were
killed in:the province of Malaga, Includ
ing those, killed at Alhama.
London, December 27. The Christmas
season all over Europe this year deserved
ito have another adjective than "merry "
applied to it. The same story comes from
Almost everv centre. It is one of dimin
ished expenditures, decreased gayety, and
the failure of the grim spectre of want to
disappear at the command of Santa Claus.
The great army of paupers in London,
numbering on the books about 100.000.
were ostentatiously treated to Christmas'
dinners as usual, but that class of the poor
in the grade above pauperism had a gloomy
time, and the small tradesmen are in the
aumps oyer ineir wretenca noiiuay dusi
ness. EVen darker stories come from
Paris; where, except around the, Louvre
and a few similar shopping quarters, there
was small pretence made of any observ
ance by. the French. At Vienna, where
three weeks ago, as I noted, trade was ex
cellent aind the public feeling good, the
Christmas season was about the most mel
ancholy one conceivable. The recent fail
ures and; suicides, with rumors filling the
-air of worse disclosures to come, caused a
sudden paralysis of business.
Reports of shipbuilding in Great Britain
for the year show the enormous falling off
of nearly half a million tons, which in
volves iqleness, of course, for many thou
sands of workmen, among whom the dis
tress is simply terrible. The returns show
a largely increased use of steel as a mate
rial. In! a few years the use of it will
probably, be quite universal.
" The cfosing of the year witnesses a car
nival of fbloodshed in both England and
France. Every day brings the record of
most shocking murders in and about JLon
don and Pans. There is a veritable epi
demic of homicide.
Parisi Dec. 28. The papers publish
descriptions of the great iron Tower of
Babel, which is to be the chief marvel of
. . in i nr. r .
wide to &0 feet at the summit. Two hun
dred and thirty feet above ground is an
immen8(f hall. The whole structure is
surmounked by a glass pavilion, serving
for an electric lighthouse and observatory
Tariff Retaliation.
'4
rJfew York Herald. 1
Congress can be very funny when it does
not intend to be. There can ,be nothing
funnier than this talk of retaliating upon I
Europe iior taxing our cereal proaucts.
When Germany and France thought they
had foud bugs in our pork and refused to
admit provisions, from this country, con
gress breathed out threats of retaliation.
Tbey came to naught.
England claimed that Amencamv cattle
was diseased, and imposed restrictions
upon the importation of live stock into
Great Britain. Under the lead of some
funny men in Congress the West began to
buckle I on its horse pistols and bowie
knives in order to "retaliate." This
movement never became effective.
Hiurope learns mat American peiroieum
is "doctored," ana f ranco tninxs mat a
few maj-e francs duty upon American grain
will "boom" matters in France. Now
again we hear the mumbled threats of
retaliation, and again do they come from
that fujiny Congress of ours.
Why is it funny? Because it originally
bit off, an inch of its nose by imposing
restrictions upon the commerce of this
countrlri; and when other nations do the
same hecause this nation did it, Congress
hops uj and down and howls out, "Doit,
and I'tf bite another inch from my nose! "
That funny Congress, and that huge joke,
retaliation !
Cnnreb Fair Blorals.
TNew York Tribune. I
Amons? the attractions of a church fair
in a $Iontana town recently was a raffle
for a fawn. At the conclusion of the fair
the helder of the winning, ticket in the
raffle sked one of the lady managers for
his fskvn. She replied that she had no
fawn for him, but that there were plenty
out otfthe hills and he could have all he
could catch. The Jnan got wrathy, de
clarinr'that the whole thing was a "durn
ed swindle." For using this language he
was gromptly suspended by the church,
and tle local paper declared that he was
no geitleman for talking in that way to
the "fair" managers.
I Where the Plneh Is.
I Boston Transcript.
Emfloyer "I dislike very much to re-,
duce jour wages, but you know the neces
saries f life are much cheaper than they
were t year ago, and it won't cost yon so
muchto live." Clerk "The necessaries
of lifI Mr. Bossman, I'd have you to
know jthat I get trusted for groceries, prp
vision!, clothing, and such vulgar things
as vouj call necessaries of life. Luxuries I
have pay for, and I propose to have an
extra jshare of them hereafter. No, sir;
your Argument is weak. When luxuries
comeldown it will be time for you to
talk.'
PRESIDENT DATIS
Astonishes a "Loyal" lady.
New York Times.
A Madison-avenue New York cityl girl
tells a pleasant little story of one of the inci
dents of a trip down South. This young
woman, noted for her impulsive nature as
for her charity, was sojourning at a small
ssiBsippi town recently. In taking her
usual ramble one balmy morning she came
across a poverty-stricken negro wench who
crouched beside a whitewashed milestone,
was crooning away in true darky manner.
"What's the matter my good woman I"
asks the Northern girl.
"Oh, Missy, I'se been doin' laundry
work up at de hotel, but dey won't hab
me dah no mo'h." f
"Why won't they give you more work?"
"Ease I'se done hab de febcr, 'n I'se all
worn away, Missy."
"Well, but why don't you go to the hos
pital or rest at home until your strength re
turns?" "Dar's no place fob me dah, Missy, 'n
ole Sam's done gone las' Spring. De cab
in's way off yonder. Nobody's come dar
'n I'se bin tryin' to get m ter town."
While old aunty was elaborating her
story a tall, slender white man, with cane
under his arm, was passing up and down
a short distance away in deep meditation.
The maiden's sympathy for the unfortunate
creature bending before her with wistful
eyes upturned, had long since been aroused.
The answers to each of the questions put
to the crone had disclosed the fact that
nothing but stark famine could have raised
the figure by the milestone from her
wretched cabin pallet. i
My informant says that the old picture
of Uncle Tom lying in Legree's workhouse
sick unto death instantly forced its way
into her mind. She thrust her hand into
her stout walking dress pocket for her
purse. To her extreme mortification snd
regret it wasn't there. She uttered an ex
clamation of dismay and turned hastily
around.
The tail, elderly gentleman who had
been walking up and down had heard
enough of the colloquy between the negro
wench and the Northern girl to explain
the situation for him. Taking off his hat
with old-time gallantry he advanced a few
steps and in a singularly gentle tone said :
"My dear Miss, won t yourallow me to
help you?"
Before the sentence wns ended he had
thrust his purse into the young lady's
hand. My lady bountiful didnt hesitate
to make use of some of the purse's con
tents, and the negro woman's attenuated
fingers were soon closed over a handsome
largess of silver. The Northerner turned
to thank the gentleman and gave him her
address. He stood silent while she ex
pressed her gratitude: habitual sadness
again looked out from hi eyis. When
the young girl insisted on knowing at least
his name, he uncovered his thin locks and
bending toward his questioner, said :
"Men call me Jefferson Davis! I will
see that your charge here is cared for."
My girl was amazed, more than amazed
overcome by this revelation, and while
she involuntarily stretched out her hands
to the Confederate chief, the bugaboo of
schooldays, tears stood thickly in her eyes.
"When I thought," the said to me in
describing the incident, "of the horrid
tales I had heard of him, how repulsive he
was, how he hated the negro, and all that,
and how I had believed every word against
him, I could not help feeling ashamed.
Who would have acted so nobly, so gener
ously, as he did? He s the dearest, kind
est, truest gentleman I ever met "
I like to think of tho picture this Madi
son avenue lass made as she reached her
crescendo of praise of "Rebel Jeff,"
though her story isn't quite like the usual
tale that has come to me of the arch trai
tor of the South.
IRON SOTTING AWAV.
As
Ever-Present Dancer to Our
Bridge Structures.
Great
LfDiANAFOLjs; December 27. For 14
years State . Geologist Collett has been ex
perimenting upon a theory that the best of
iron, when subjected to continuous strain,
would undergo changes in its structure
which would, after a time, render its use
dangerous, and that these structural
changes were the explanation of many oth
erwise inexplicable accidents, particularly
to railway bridges. He has lately under
taken a systematic investigation, which has
resulted in a confirmation of his theory.
For experiment he took from the Wabash
dam, at Delphi, a number of bolts and
spikes, which were, when the dam was
constructed, of the best quality of malle
able bar iron, as is shown by the battering
of the head when tbey were put into the
structure. Of these bolts and spikes he
found that 70 per cent, of the whole num
ber were as weak as cast iron, while 90
per cent, of those which were near the
bottom of the dam were worthless, yet, of
those which were rotten, the tips where in
serted in immovable rocks were fibrous
and strong. When broken they showed
polished ends to the connecting vibres, in
dicating that the continued vibrations of
many years had polished and rounded the
points of fibrous structure. A similar ef
fect is found in "the partings" or "horse
backs" in coal mines, which become pol
ished and striated by the continuous quiver
and motion of the crust of the earth. Dr.
Collett says that all car axles, after a rea
sonable run, become crystallized two-thirds
of the length from the hub and one-third
from the outside extremity, rendering
them worthless. On one Indiana railroad
bridge he found that the bottom parts of
the vertical strain pieces were crystalized
for from two to four feet in length, and, as
a precaution against what would inevita
bly have caused a great catastrophe, they
were replaced. The mafter is one of great
interest to railways, and the specimens
which Dr. Collett has collected in his ex
periments are to be sent to the Stevens In
stitute of Technology, where an investiga
tion of the subject has been in progress
for several years by a scientist connected
with the institute.
Newspaper TO altlng In Texas.
Milsap Tlmes.J
The p jblishers, the past week, have had
to do their own cooking and washing, be
sides carrying fuel from the woods and get
ting out the press. The editor of this
paper is affected with rheumatism at in
tervals that is sometimes very painful, and
he requests his friends not to hustle him
about so roughly when they become a little
frolicsome.
The Submarine Cables.
Tho London Electrician puts the length
of all submarine cables at sixty-eight odd
thousand miles, or nearly three times the
circumference of the globe, giving each
cable an average of forty wires. The total
length used amounts to 25,000,000 miles
ten times the distance between the earth
and the moon.
CALLS.
Why Some Were Weak and Some Were
Sufficiently Strong.
TArkansaw Traveller. 1
Rev. Mr. Mulkittle, having successfully
organized a church fair, was a very happy
man. It had been hinted that the congre
gation was a "little short" on raising the
reverend gentleman's salary, hence the sat
isfaction he felt when he saw that the pro
ceeds of the fair would more than supply
tho deficiency. The good man, after re
tiring from a profitable afternoon's work
during which he had assured dyspeptics
that potato salad would not hurt them
sat by the library fire when the youngster
entered :
"Where have you been, pa ?"
"To the fair."
"What fair?"
"Our church fair."
"Did they have it out to the fair
grounds ?"
"No."
"Where then ?"
"Down town in our church."
"Did they have horses and cows V'
"Oh, no. They didn't show anything."
"What did they do f
"Oh, they sold toys and something to
eat."
"Did they sell it to the poor?"
"They sold it to anybody who had the
money."
"It was the feast of the passover, wasn't
it?"
Mr. Mulkittle looked at his son for a
moment and said: "No, it wasn't the
feast of the passover. Where is your
mother T'
"Gone out to sew for the church. Does
the church want money ?"
"Of course."
"But ithey don't want to make their
father's house a den of "
"Will vou hush up. sir ?"
"But they made the temple a den of
thieves, didn't they ?"
"Yes."
"How did they ?"
"By selling cattle in it."
"And the Lord didn't like that, did
He?"
"No."
"He wanted 'em to sell oysters, didn't
He ?"
"I'll box your ears if you don't behave
yourself."
"I'll be good," moving away from his
father. Mr. Mulkittle took up a newspa
per and began to read.
"Do you want.mc to be a preacher V
the boy asked.
"Yes, if the Lord calls you."
"Did the Lord call you?"
"Yes."
"What did He say?"
"Told me to. go and preach the gospel
to every living creature."
"Didn't tell you to preach to the niggers,
did Hef". .
"That'll do now."
"You thought that the Lord had called
you again the other day. didn't you?"
"I don't know what you are talking
about," said the minister.
"Don't you know the other day you
told ma that you had a call to go to an
other place, and you would go if you could
get two hundred dollars more? Wouldn't
the Lord give you the two hundred dol
lars r
"Didn't I tell you to hush, sir," throw
ing down the paper, and glaring at his
son.
"No, sir, you said for me to behave my
self." "Well, see that you do."
"I wish you'd tell me."
"Tell you about what?"
"'Bout the call."
"Well, a church in another town want
ed me to come and preach there."
"Why didn't you go?" J
"Couldn't afford it. They don't pay
enough money."
"Call wasn't loud enough, was it?"
"Well, hardly," assented Mr. Mulkittle
with a smile. "It wasn't loud enough to
be very interesting."
"If it had been louder, would you
went?"
"I should have gone if they had offered
me enough money."
"It wasn't the Lord that called you
that time, was it?"
"I think not."
" How much money did the Lord offer
you?"
"Do you see that doon"
"Which one; that one?" pointing.
"Yes, sir."
" Well, go out and shut it."
"I want to stay in here."
"Yon cannot."
"Why?"
" You are too foolishly inquisitive.
"What's foolishly 'quisitive?"
"Asking so many questions."
"How many many must I ask?"
"None."
"Then I couldn't talk, could I?"
"It would be better for you if
you
couldn't talk so much."
"How much must I talk?"
"Here. I'll give you ten cents now if
you'll go away.'".
"Call ain't strong enough," said the
boy, shaking his head.
"Well, heres a quarter," said the
preacher, smiling.
"Call's strong enough," replied the
boy, taking the money and hurrying away
A Plentiful Scarcity.
" Water, water, everywhere.
But ne'er a drop to drink."
New Tork Tribune.)
The New York banks close the most
remarkable year of their whole history
with nearly $125,000,000 cash on hand,
and a surplus reserve of nearly $41,000,
000. They began the year with over $90,
000,000 cash, an amount unprecedented
for January, which quickly swelled to
$111,000,000 in the sixth week of the year.
In spite of the enormous expansion for
speculative purposes which subsequent
events disclosed, the surplus at the mid
dle of February was over $21,000,000, an
amount then unprecedented, and regard
ed with amazement. In fifteen weeks
from that date, the banks had lost about
$54,000,000 of their cash, which dropped
to $67,500,000 May 24, and the enormous
surplus was changed into a deficit of
$6,600,000. Yet this startling change was
less violent than the reaction which fol
lowed. In only nine weeks the reserve
rose to $107,000,000, and the surplus
passed the previous high-water mark, and,
jumping $37,000,000 in nine weefes reached
$30,600,000. Afterward dulness prevailed,
and the cash mounted to about $1 24, 000, 000
at the beginning of December, ; and tie
surplus to about $42,000,000. The banks
close the year clogged with money which
they cannot profitably employ with safety.
This condition of the banks appears at
this time to be the true barometer of the
business situation. Apprehension' has
locked up for a time not only the $125,-
000,000 held by the New-York banks, but
many hundred millions more.
DOWN TOWN X9EAS WAYS
In the Great Metropolis.
New York Times.
Within the shadow of the Sub-Treasury
building in Wall-street is the office of an
eccentric banker, who is one of the best
known financiers in "the Street." About
Christmas time benevolence occasionally
gets the best of the old gentleman, and
then he is apt to do rash deeds.
Two weeks ago the banker had occasion
to call at the news agency of that eminent
statesman John D. Kiernan; at Wall and
Broad streets, and as he was about to de
part an idea struck him.
"Mishter Kiernan," said the banker
who, by the way, is a Quaker "I vas
shoost on my vay to get mineself measured
for an ofercoat. Come, get yourself measured,-
too, I make you a Christmas present
of an ofercoat."
Senator Kiernan, being a gentlemen of
remarkably level head, at once ncct-pted the
banker's invitation, and then the old gen
tleman caught sight of Mr. Jimmy Rasco
ver, the statesman's head clerk.
"Say," he remarked to Mr. Rascover,
"Come mit us. I buy you an ofercoat, too."
"Much obliged," returned Mr. Rascover
politely, "but I can't leave the office."
"Ah, I fix it," said the banker. "Gif
me a pen."
Mr. Rascover produced writing mater
ials, and the Quaker wrote an order upon
his tailor for a "good overcoat" for Mr.
Rascover. He presented the order to his
beneficiary and then departed with the
statesman to have their measures taken.
Mr. Rascover presented the banker's
Order at the tailor's in due time, and his
overcoat was sent home on Friday. Like
wise the bill was sent to the banker on the
same day. Yesterday afternoon he burst
into Mr. Kiernan's office in a state of great
excitement.
"Say, you Vicount from Jerusalem!" he
demanded of Mr. Rascover, "vere is dot
ofercoat I gif you for Christmas?"
"Oh, I left that at home," replied the
statesman's head clerk. "I'm keeping it
for Sundays and to wear to the opera. It's
too nice a coat to wear down town."
"Veil, I should say it vas," shouted the
banker. "Vot is it lined mit?"
"With satin," returned Mr. Rascover
complacently.
"Is dot satin embroidered? Is it hand
bain ted mit a landscape?"
"Oh, no; but it's the best quality."
"I guess it is, too. Has de coat got
gold buttons on?" inquired the donor
mildly.
"No, Sir. Cloth buttons."
"Are you sure dose gloth buttons ain't
made over double eagles?"
"I don't think so," returned Mr. Rasco
ver, somewhat bewildered. "Why, is any
thing the matter ?"
"Anything der matter." repeated the
banker frantically. "Do you know vot
dot coat cost?"
"No sir," replied the young gentleman
who owned it, with consummate diplo
macy. "I thought it would be rather in
delicate to ask the price, considering the
circumstances. '
"You did, heh?" wailed the old -gentle
man. "Dot vas very nice of you. Vot
you suppose Mr. Kiernan's and my ofer
coat cost?"
"I give it up," replied Mr. Rascover,
promptly.
"Bixiy-nve aouars apiece," saia tne
banker. "And vot you suppose he sharge
me for yours? One hundred and thirty
fife dollars, Sir! One hundred and thirty
five dollars!! Mine Gott, I am ruirfed
completely !"
"1 guess the overcoat s worth all of
that," said Mr. Rascover consolingly.
"You think it isr' returned the banker
sarcastically. "I tell you vot I do. Vhen
you get dot coat vorn oud I buy it of you
and put it in a glass case in my parlor!
Your oxtravagance makes me so poor dot
I haf to wear my old shoe strings all Vin-
ter."
And the unfortunate banker went over
to Delmonico'8 to conceal his emotion and
paid $8.25 for his luncheon.
Depression and Its Causes.
New York Herald. 1
More than forty railroads have passed
into the hands of receivers during the
year, including such important roads as
the West Shore, the Reading and Wabash,
and others are resorting to desperate ex
pedients to prevent default, in the hope
that some improvement may occur in the
situation which will enable them to pull
through. The condition of trade is indi
cated in the fact that 11,600 failures have
occurred during the twelve months, as
against 4,650 in 1880, and the liabilities
amount to $240,000,000, as against $57,
120,000 in the year named. The rail
roads, however, have fared particularly
ill, and for this, among other reasons, the
prices of their paper securities in Wall
street have been "demoralized." The ab
solute want of confidence exhibited by the
public in regard to these securities has
been brought about not only by their de
creased earnings but by the disclosures of
fraud in the management of trnst institu
tions and banking houses, and, more than
all. by Jay Gould's shameless misrepresen
tations regarding his properties and by
his dishonest manipulation of the stock
market.
Employer's Liability.
New York Herald. 1
When the United States Supreme Court
recently rendered its decision holding that
a railroad company was liable for injuries
sustained by one of its servants through
the negligence of another in a higher
grade of service, the Court made a very
important modification of the prevalent
doctrine touching the liability of employ
ers. This i act is illustrated oy tne result
of a case just tried in Brooklyn. One of
the men employed to load a lighter was
injured through the negligence of the
captain and sued for damages. The light
erage company pleaded exemption from
liability on the ground that both tne
plaintiff and the captain were fellow ser
vants employed by tne company. it was
conceded by the plaintiff's counsel that the
company was not liable under the law as
it had been laid down by tne uourt or Ap
peals in this State, but that the rule had
been changed by the recent decision of the
United States Supreme Court. Judge
Benedict recognized the force of this and
said the Supreme Court decision was a
"new departure in the law. ' ue neia
that the company was liable, and the jury
gave the plaintiff a verdict for twelve
hundred dollars.
Time to Break Up.
Young man (after a long interval of
silence) A penny for your thoughts, Miss
Clara.
Miss Clara (suppressing a yawn) I was
wnnderins- if that clock isn't slow. It
seems later than midnight.
He left without giving her his penny.
CHURCH PROGRESS
And the Religious Outlook.
New York Tribune.
The year just closed has been on the
whole one of prosperity for the various
denominations of Christians in this coun
try. The great Roman Catholic commun
ion has shown in many directions an un
expected power and capacity to hold what
it has gained. Its plenary council, which
recently met in Baltimore, discussed mat
ters of tho greatest interest to all Chris
tians with wisdom and moderation. And
the pastoral letter issued by the Bishops
was an admirable document, containing
so little that was sectarian and so much
that was really catholic that it has received
the hearty praise of Protestants. The
Roman Catholic Church has a great mis
sion before it in this country, and all its
recent utterances indicate that it fully un
derstands the nature and importance of
that mission. Less time is now spent by
its clergy in useless controversies and sec
tarian squabbles, and the tremendous
power of its compact organization is used
to build up missions, to succor the needy
and raise up the fallen. As a matter of
fact the Roman Catholic Church is one of
the most practical of all the Christian de
nominations, although its faith and ritual
are so suggestive of the past. It is alert,
vigorous and active in deeds of genuine
philanthropy, and during the next decade
wiu probably do much to Christianize the
great numbers of ignorant people who
have come to it through immigration.
That it will finally make of them better
men and better citizens is a fact that
admits of little doubt, and in this good
work it will receive the sympathy of the
great public outside its communion.
The Frotestant bodies have had their
own special problems to solve during the
past year, and on the whole have acquitted
themselves with credit. The Baptists
have held their own as one of the strong
est Christian bodies in the country. Their
missions at home and abroad have been
well supported ; their theological semina
ries are in a nourishing condition, and
many new and costly churches have been
built by them. If no striking event marks
their history during the past year, they
have the consolation of knowing that their
future is bright with promise.
The same may be said of the Congrega-
tionalists, whose peculiar home is in New
England, ut whose influence is felt
throughout the whole country. The advo
cates of the so-called new theology in this
body are showing themselves to be wise
leaders for the time and thus far do not
justify the apprehension first excited in
regard to them.
The various branches of the Presbyte
rian Church are able to chronicle a marked
progress in practical work during the past
year. With few internal dissensions to
weaken them, they have been able to prove
the soundness of their creed by the success
of their labors, a kind of proof that ap
peals roost strongly to this age and gener
ation. The Presbyterians have lost none
of the sturdy orthodoxy which has always
distinguished them, but they have gained
much in practical efficiency, breadth of
vision and charity, and the outlook for a
reunited Presbytcrianism is much more
hopeful than it has ever been before.
Methodism has been an important factor
in the national life of this country, and
its recent Centennial Conference shows that
it is fully alive to the religious needs of
the present and the future. It is the
great church-building body of Protestant
ism. and the pioneer settlements of the
far West owe much to its epergy and re
ligious zeal. While it may not in the
future hold its own in the great cities, it
is quite sure to retain its power in the
country.
The Protestant Episcopal Church is
slowly but steadily growing in strength
and numbers. Its missionary work in the
West is flourishing, and there has been a
notable increase in its clergy, many, of
whom have come from other denomina
tions. In works of practical philanthropy
it is rapidly . taking a foremost position,
.while in its last church congress, held at
Detroit in October, its clergy showed
themselves able to grapple with some of
the most important social and economic
problems of the day. It enters upon a
new year with a promise of abundant use
fulness in the future.
It may be noted in closing that infidelity
as such is making little headway in this
country. The greatest foe of the Chris
tian Church in this age is not organized
infidelity', but rather a cynical indifference
which regards the claims of Christians
and unbelievers alike as unworthy of seri
ous consideration.
AN EPISCOPAL SENSATION.
Two Young TOonks.
New York Evening Post.
Episcopal circles in this city are some
what agitated by Assistant Bishop Potter's
having formally received the three monas
tic vows of poverty, chastity, and obedi
ence the other day from two young minis
ters who wish to devote themselves to
what is technically called a "religious
life." The Low Churchmen are apparent
ly somewhat scandalized, as they look on
it as a sort of recognition by Bishop Pot
ter of the fitness or value of monastic
vows, while the Churchmen with "legal
minds" are troubled by the absence of
canonical authority for the proceeding.
There are, however, already several Pro
testant sisterhoods maintained by vows of
some kind, which have done a world of
good, and have given spheres of useful
ness to many able women who could have
accomplished nothing if they stood alone,
or were not clothed with some sort of offi
cial garb. Most Protestants, nevertheless,
are disposed to look askance at a man who
cannot lead a religious life without mak
ing a public declaration of his intention
to do so, or . who cannot keep vows or
promises made to himself alone, or at all
events made only in his own presence.
But after all there cannot be much danger
to Church or State in witnessing the
pledges of a man who thinks public prom
lses more binding "than private ones, and
needs the help of public censorship to en
able him to be self-denying. A man who
secretly determines to be poor and chaste
and obedient as a means of self-discipline,
is not a dangerous person, and he does not
become dangerous by calling everybody's
attention to the fact.
Dakota Wheat "Planters."
New York Tribune.J
Said a merchant doing business in a Da
kota town the other day : " There are not
twenty farmers in this county. They are
all nothing but wheat raisers, and that is
a long way from being a farmer. A
large number of fanners in Dakota, who
own whole quarter sections of land, seldom
have a drop of milk in the house, and the
butter they cat is bought at the nearest
store. They don't even keep a cow or pig,
or try to raise vegetables enough to pro
vide for the winter."
CIVIL SERVICE REFORM
And Governor Cleveland's Views of It.
Mr George William Curtis, President of
the National Civil Service Reform League,
wrote to Gov. Cleveland on December 20 :
Srs : We have the honor to address you
on behalf of the National Civil Service
Reform League, an association composed
of citizens of all parties, whose sole pur
pose is indicated by its name, and which
takes no part whatever in party contro
versy. The vast increase in the number of per
sons engaged in the civil service and the
grave mischief and dangers arising from
the general proscription in the' service
which for half a century has followed a
change of party control of the National
Administration have produced so profound
an impression upon the public mind that
the first effective steps toward reform were
taken with the co-operation of both par
ties in the passage of the Reform act of
January 16th, 1883.
The abuses which that act seeks to cor
rect, however, are so strongly intrenched
in the traditions and usages of both parties
that there is naturally widespread anxiety
lest the party change in the National Ex
ecutive effected by the late election should
show them to be insuperable. But, believ
ing as we do that the reformed system can
not be held to be securely established un
til it has safely passed the ordeal of such a
party change, and recalling with satisfac
tion and confidence your public expressions
favorable to reform, and your official acts
as the Chief Executive of the State of
New York, we confidently commend this
cause to your patriotic care in the exercise
of the great power with which the Amer
ican people have intrusted you.
governor Cleveland's reply.
Albany, Dec. 25. "
The Hon. George William Curtis, Presi
dent, etc.
Dear Sir: Your communication dated
December 20, addressed to me on behalf
of the National Civil Service Reform
League, has been received.
That a practical reform in the civil ser
vice is demanded is abundantly established
by the fact that a statute, referred to in
your communication, to secure such a re
sult has been passed in Congress with the
assent of both political parties : and by the
further fact that a sentiment is generally
prevalent among patriotic people calling
for the fair and honest enforcement of the
law which has been thus enacted. I regard
myself pledged to this because my con
ception of -true Democratic faith and pub- -lie
duty requires that this and ail other
statutes should be in good faith and with
out evasion enforced, and because in many
utterances made prior to my election as
.President approved by the party to which
1 belong and which I have no disposition
to disclaim, I have in effect promised the
people that this should be done.
I am not unmindful of the fact to which
you refer, that many of our citizens fear
that the recent party change in the Na
tional Executive may demonstrate that the
abuses which have grown up in the civil '
service are ineradicable. I know that they
are deeply rooted, and that the spoils sys
tem has been supposed to be intimately
related to Buccess in the maintenance of
party organization, and I am not sure that
all those who profess to be the friends of
this reform will stand firmly among its
advocates when they find it obstructing
their way to patronage and place.
But fully appreciating the trust com
mitted to my charge, no such considera
tion shall cause a relaxation on my part of
an earnest effort to enforce this law.
There is a class of Government positions
which are not within the letter of the civil
service statute, but which are so discon
nected with the policy of an Administra
tion that the removal therefrom of present
incumbents, in my opinion, should not be
made during the terms for which ' they
were appointed solely on partisan grounds
and for the purpose of putting in their
places those who are in political accord
with the appointing power.
But many now holding such positions
have forfeited all just claim to retention,
because they have used their places for
party purposes in disregard of their duty
to the people, and because, instead of
being decent public servants, they have
proved themselves offensive partisans and
unscrupulous manipulators of local party
management. -
The lessons of the past shauld lie un
learned, and such officials, as well as their
successors, should be taught that efficiency,
fitness and, devotion to public duty arc
the conditions of their continuance in
public place, and that the quiet and unob
trusive exercise of individual political
rights is the reasonable measure of their
party service.
If I were addressing none but party
friends I should deem it entirely proper to
remind them that though the coming Ad
ministration is to be Democratic, a due
regard for the people's interest does noj
permit faithful party work to be always
rewarded by appointment to office : and to
say to them that while Democrats may ex
pect all proper consideration, selections
for office not embraced within the civil
service rules will be based upon sufficient
inquiry as to fitness, instituted by those
charged with that duty, rather than upon
persistent importunity or self-solicited
recommendations on behalf of candidates
for appointment.
Yours very truly,
Grover Cleveland.
Collections of Internal Revenue.
The collections of Internal Revenue for
the first five months of the fiscal year end- '
June 30, 1885, were as follows: From
spirits, $27,975,632; from tobacco; $10,
846,806; from fermented liquors, $8,358,
489; from miscellaneous sources, $141,263,
making a total of $47,322,190, as against
$51,317,926 collected during the same
period of the previous fiscal year a de
crease of $3,995,736. There was a decrease
of $3,542,953, on spirits, of $586,893
on tobacco and $199,170 on miscellaneous
articles. The only Increase was on ferment
ed liquors, amounting to $332,786. The
aggregate receipts' for the month of No
vember were $1,371,942 less than for the
same month of last year.
The World's Fair.
New York Tribune.
There is a great ideal of promise in the
New-Orleans Fair.L but up to the present
. j i
mucn oi. it remains mere promise inu aut
fact. This is peculiarly true in regard to
the semi-tropical side of the show, -upon
which, of course, .visitors from the North
set great store. It is intended to orna
ment the grounds beautifully with gardens
of tropical plants; but it has not yet been
done, and with the exception of the oak
trees and their graceful Spanish moss
there is little that is attractive around the
buildings. Some of the exhibits, however,
are said to be remarkably fine, especially
in the Department of Agriculture.