BE SURE YOU AEE EIGHT ; THEN" GO AHBAD.-D. Crockett.
TARBORO', N, C FRIDAY, APRIL 21, 1876.
NO. 19.
VOL. 54.
GENERAL DIRECTORY.
TARBOKO'.
Matok Fred. Philips.
Commissioners lossc A. Williamson, Ja
cob Feldenheimer, Daniel W. Hunt, Alex.
MeCabe, Joseph Cobb.
SEOiiETiKT & Tkeasuuek Robt. White
burst. Chief op Police John W. Cotton.
Assistant Police John Madra, Jas. E.
Simonson, Altimore Macuair.
CUt'.tiTY.
Superior Court Clerk and Probate Judije
II. L. Staton, Jr.
lleyister of Deeds Alex, MeCabe.
Sheri ff Joseph Cobb.
Coronet
Treasurer Robt. II. Austin. ;
Surveyor John E. Baker.
Standard Keeper J. B. Hyatt.
School Examiners. H. II. Shaw, Wm. A.
Duggan and R. S. Williams.
Keeper Poor House Win. A. Duggan.
Commissioners Ino. Lancaster, Chairman,
VVilev Well, J. B. W. Norville, Frank Dew,
M. Exem. A. MeCabe, Clerk.
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die Hjtt ntad tbe Places of Meeting:.
Concord R. A. Chapter No. 5, N. M. Law
rence, Hitch Priest, Masonic Hall, monthly
convocations first Thursday in every month at
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Concord Lodge N. 58, Thomas Gatlin,
Master, Masonic Hall, meets first Friday night
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churches;
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at 10 1-2 o'clock A. M. and 5 P. M. Dr. J. B.
Cheshire, Rector.
Methodist Church Services every Fourth
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1st Sunday at night and 5th Sunday at night.
Rev. Mr. Swindell, Pastor.
Preshtterian Church Services every lit,
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4th Sunday in every moith, morning and
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Primitive Baptist Church Services first
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HOTEL)!,
Adams' Hotel, corner Main and Pitt Sis.
O. F. Adams, Proprietor.
EXPKESS.
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N. M. Lawrence, Agent.
PROFESSIONAL CAKDS,
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TARBORO', X. C.
3- Collections a. Specially, "aft
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July 2, 1875, tf
JOS. BLOUNT CHESHIRE, JR.,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
AND
NOTARY PUBLIC.
St7 Office at the Old Bank Building on
Trade Street. je25-tf.
II
OWARD & TERRY,
Attorneys and Counselors at Law.
TARBORO', N. C.
H7 Practice in all the Courts, State and
Federal. nov.o-ly.
U. JOHNSTON,
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EfT Attends to the transaction of busi
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Nov. 5, 1875. ly
F
REDERICK PHILIPS,
Attorney and Counselor at Law,
TARBORO', N. C.
Practices in Courts of adjoining coun
ties, in the Federal ana supreme courts.
Nov. 5, 1875. ly
ALTER P. WILLIAMSON,
ATTORNEY AT LAW ,
TARBORO', N. C.
IVill practice in the Courts of the 2nd
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XOg" Office in Iron Frout Building, Pit
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Jan. 7, 187G. tf
JACOB BATTLE,
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ROCKY MOUNT, N. C.
WW Practices in all tLc State Courts.
March 24, 1870. ly
J H. & W. L. THORP,
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PRACTICES in the counties of Edge
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DR. E. D. BARNES,
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tjb All work warranted to give entire
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Murch 17, 1870 ly.
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i71iT
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ikntharo' Bmxihczmx.
radajT 7" 7 "TAprii, 21, 1876
PEGSY'S ADVICE.
'You're expecting Sara Stilts
here tCrnight, I reckon. You need
not cojr up Alice, i've Been the
vtay he's been coming and going
for the past six weeks ; that means
something, when it gets to be steady
company.' " '
Peggy Watts paused and gave the
maiden a searching look, but Alice
could not bear the scrutiny. She
turned away to the wiadow, as if to
view the pretty New England land
scape in the deep'ning twilight.
'is Mr. Stilts coming to-night or
not Miss ?'
'Indeed, Peggy, I can't say ; per
haps he may call.'
'Perhaps, yes ; and you are
thinking some day to be Mrs Stilts
yourself.'
'Why, Peggy, you're ridiculous.'
'Ridiculous, am I. Well, may be,
Miss. In the first place, I know
Sam Stilts has asked you to be his
wife, and though you haven't given
him a decided answer, you're on
the point of taking a step which
you'll regret till your dying hour.
You are tired of the little brown
house and its homely furniture.
You are disgusted with the toil
which soils and hardens your hands;
you'd like a piano like the Squire
Smith's to thrum on, instead of
sweeping, dusting, and washing of
dishes, and you think you'll get
that, and fine clothes into the bar
gain, by marrying Sam Stilts, but
it's ail humbuggery.'
Alice had turned from the win
dow and was standing by Peggy's
side, looking dawn into her dark,
wrinkled face.
Peggy's cold eyes sought the
face of thj pretty Alice, blushing
and paling ly turns, and phe drew
her to a footstool beside her, and
brushed away the soft curls from
her forehead.
ll don't mean to be hard on you,
Alice. I know you're got that
within you that unfits you for the
life you are now leading, but in Sam
Stilts' company you are on the
wrong road for happiness. I've got
two pretty good rcassns to gi"e
why you shouldn't marry that man,
a sto y to tell, and then I've dene
advising. Will you hear me?'
'Yes, Peggy,' answered Alice,
burying her face in the lap of the
faithful servinji woman.
'J'm going to tell yeu about your
mother. We vere girls together,
and I knew quite as much about
her affairs as she did herself, and
I remember as plain as if it was but
yesterday, every little circumstance
connected with her marriage.
'People call you good-looking,
Alice, but you're nothing to what
she was, with her hazel eyes and
chesnut hair. It was my pride to
twine the heavy ringlets over my
finger and then let them fall care
lessly over her neck and shoulders.
There are no such complexions now-a-days,
so 1 can't tell you how fair
and beautiful she was. Her father
was poor, like the rest of us, and
his wife was an invalid, so the cares
of the house came upon Letty your,
mother.
'As soon as the house was put to
rights she would bring out her spin
ning wheel, and buzz, buzz, it went
from morning till night, many a
day, to earn the price of a pew
dress or bonnet. Some way, she
always contrived to look a trifle
smarter than the rest of us girls
and for the young men of the town,
why Letty might have taken her
pick. Aunt Laury Burtch used to
say they acted like a parcel of fools
areund Letty, but, you see she had
a batch of grown-up daughters,
waiting for an offer, so she was ex
cusable for being a little jealous.
One day it was when Letty was
about eighteen she had a big day's
work on hand and sent for me to
help her.'
'But few could afford in those
days to keep steady help, as it was
necessary for me to do something,
I used to go out by the day. 'What
is th matter Letty,' says 7, the
first thing when I set my eyes on
her, for she looked strange like to
me that morning.'
'Won't you ever mention it if I'll
tell you,' she asked ?
'No,' says I, and my word was as
good as a Bible oath with her.
" 'You know Squire Moore's
nephew i?obert, that was here nigh
on six weeks last spring,' she said.
" 'Yes, 1 replied.
" 'Well he wants to marry me.
Here's the letter; ysu may read it
and then I wart your advice.
'She drew a crumpled sheet of
paper from her pocket. It proved
to be a very long, loving letter.
'He was then twenty-one, the
possessor of a handsome fortune,
and after telling his love in what I
called Mfalutin language he offered
her his heart and hand
'You'll take him, of course,' says
I, handing back the letter and
br ging to my mind the finely
dressed, smooth-faced, meek-looking
Robert Morse. Yes, Letty,
you'll cut a figure in the rich silks
aud satin3 the Squire's nephew will
buy for you. You'll be the hand
somest woman in the county. I'll
warrant i'
'I don't think Letty thought as
much of her good fortune a3 .
She looked half phased, half
frightened, as she sat dow.i to ans
wer the lettei .
'Suddenly a thought struck me,
I interrupted her to ask if she had
not told her parents.'
'"I gave them a hint of the con
tents of the letter, and of course
they think it's a great thing,' she
replied. 'Robert will get their con
sent without half asking ; but poor
Will Worthy might have hung a
round till doamsday and then got a
surly refusal poor Will!'
'With a sigh she went on with her
letter signed, sealed, directed and
gave it into my hands to post on
my way home that night.
'In due time Mr. Robert Morse
made his appearance, and owing to
his impatience, tho wedding day
was set full two months earlier than
Letty wished. This was the first
and last time that I saw him in a
hurry about anything.
'ie gave Letty scarcbly time to
finish the web ef linen she had com
menced: insisting that it wasn't nec
essary.' 'My mother was to take Letty's
place, care for the house, and wait
upon her invalid mother, while I
was to go as house-keeper to Letty
in her new home.'
'Robert stayed with his uucle,
the Squire, for a month before the
wedding and, of course, we saw him
every day.
'One evening he left us standing
on the porch watching him ia the
moonlight as he went down the
lane.
'When he was out of sight and
hearing, Letty said :
"'You've been a good friend to
me Peggy, and I feel that I can
trust you as I have never anyone
else.'
'My heart began to beat very
loud and fast, when I saw her take
a small package from her bosom.
Not noticing my surprise, she went
on :
" 'I want you to take this pircel
to Will Worthy take it to him to
night; for I've no longer a right to'
the contents. Will you go ?
'I assented, threw a light shawl
over my head, and ran across the
orchard that separated the houses.
'Did she love Will Werthy in
stead of the man she was engaged
to?
'I thought of the sigh that always
followed his name from her lips,
and inadvertentlv I, too, exclaimeed
'poor Will !'
" 'Is it me you are calling ?' said
he, stepping from the shadow of a
lilac.
'I handed him the parcel, without
uttering a word. I saw his hahds
shake as he opened it there in the
moonlight. Some dried rose-buds
and a tiny circlo of gold I had once
seen on Letty's finger, fell into the
deep grass and disappeared. 'So
she prefers diamonds to hearts.
Well so be it. God forgive her !'
and with that he tore the papers in
tiny bits, and walked away.
'When I got back to the house
Letty was sitting en the porch, he:
face buried in her white apron.
" 'Letty Lawson,' said I, seizing
her by the arm, 'what ails you ?'
" 'Poor Will ! how couli I throw
you off?' and sobbed like a child.
'"This is pretty t-do,' said I,
comprehending the truth at last.
'There's not enough of diamonds in
the mine3 of Golconda ta make me
break my word as I believe you
have broken yours.'
" 'I never promised to marry
"Will, she sobbed ; 'but I knew he
loved me and meant sometime to
make me his wife ; and 1 encour
aged him, till till Robert came
and dazzled my very brain with his
offer. I hope poor Will does not
take it to heart !'
" 'He is doubtless, very grateful
to escape so easily from a fickle
minded girl, whose only reccom
mend is a pretty face,' I replied,
for I was too angry to be just to the
poor thing. So we went in doors
and to bed, though 1 11 venture to
say she did not sleep a wink that
night. It was a pale bride that
Mr Robert Morse teok away in his
chaise next day. I followed behind
in a wagon containing the luggage.
'Will Worthy was raking hay in
a field by the roadside, but he nev
er looked up or recognized us as
we passed.
'It was a handsome house that
your mother became mistress of,
and she was surrounded with every
thing to make her happy. Her
husband proved a quiet, easy body,
without any end or aim in life save
to contribute to his own and his
wife's comfort.
'Letty had been accustomed to
employment and it seemed as if
there would be no end to these days
of idleness.
llf she attempted to sew, Robert
would take her work away. If she
read he complained of being dull,
and asked her to entertain him. If
she wrote he felt himself neglected,
and would, perhaps, leave the house
in a huff, thus keeping her in anx
iety qufte annoying to be borne.
'But your mother was generally
sweet-tempered, and bore her hus
band's shiftless management of af
fairs with a patience I could but
wonder at.
'The rich acres of lan7 which he
was the owner were neglected and
allowed to run to waste, because he
lacked the energy to see to their
cultivation ; hence, a farm which
should have been a source of wealth
grew to be an incumbrance to its
possessor bills were allowed to ac
cumulate year after year at the dry
goods and grocery store.!. Horses
wer. bought, sold and traded. In
five years after your mother's mar
riage wiih Robert Morse sh2 return
ed to her humble abode, poor in
worldly goods and crushed in spirit.
Your father had died insolvent and
left a young widow and infant with
out any provision for the future.
'He was not much missed save
by sharpers and horse jockeys, for
I never knew him do a deed of any
kir;d, good bad, or indifferent, that
he could shirk on to any one else.
" 'The Lord deliver me from the
good-for-nothing aud thriftless,'
has been my prayer since the d iy
the graze closed over your father.
'Your mother died soon after of
a brokea heart, bequeathing you to
my care. " 'Tell my Alice if she
lives to be a woman, my own sad
experience, and see to it that she
does not throw away a loving heart
for wealth were your poor mother's
ding words.
'This ends all I have to say of
your parents ; now, if you would
like to hear it. I'll give you my
opinion of Mr. Stilts?'
'Go on,' said Alice shaking the
tear drops from her lashes, and ga
zing at the dying embers.
'In the first place, he's married
already.'
-Alice gave a scream and sprang
to her feet.
'Don't tell me that,' she cried.
'it is true as the Bible my dear.
He has been lounging about here
at the hotel all summer, with the
exception of a few weeks time that
was spent in Illinois in getting a
sham divorce ; his wife is from a
respectable family in Connecticut,
who, I am told, only wait a fitting
! opportunity to bring his rascality
bciiV the public.
'I have proofs to satisfy you if
you have any doubts of the truth
of my statememt.
'Now i've got a question to ask
you : answer it o l your honor, and
then i have done.
'if that tall young man the
owner of a pair of roguish black
eyes and hands that are not afraid
to hold the plow, was possessed of
the wealth that young Stilts boast3
cf, which would bo your choice ?'
'Edward, of course; if I must
tell,' said Alice, again burying her
head in Teggy's lap.
A third party, and no less a per
sonage than Edward himself, had
entered, unobserved in the twilight
and became an accidental listener.
While Peggy was blustering a
round to get tue candle lighted, and
see who the intruder was, the in-
truder himself had taken forcible
possession of the pretty .Alice; and
so closely did he fold her in his
arms, that nought but her golden
curls were visible when Peggy re
turned. 'Oh ! it's you, is it, Edward Wor
thy? What brought you over so
early?' wa.3 Peggy's question.
'I thought I would drop in be
fore Stilts to-night Peggy, if pos
sible. Beg pardon ollice, I shan't
let you go till you say yes or no with
the proviso of 'as rich as Stilts !'
.'Oh ! you like mo to hold you !
Well, I'll sit down and take it easy.'
Somehow Alice escaped into an
other room and Edward said, turn
ing a serious face to Peggy :
'Uncle Will has given me a deed
of the farm provided I'll furnish a
housekeeper ; I started from home
with a doubting heart, but was for
tunately within hearing when you
put the test question to Alice. As
uncle Will's farm is to-day worth
twice the fortune Mr. Siilts can
show, may I not hope ?'
And Peggy replied, 'Eavesdrop
pers never ought to hear any good
of themselves. If you have not
heard enough in that way to satisfy
you, go to Alice, I have had my
sav to her. and vou must settle it
between you.'
It was past twelve when the click
of the gate announced the depart
ure of the young man from Peggy's
brown cottage.
The next evening Mr. Stilts cal
led and in place of seeing Alice,
was received by Mistress Peggy
herself, who treated him to a ser
mon on the wickedness of man. She
concluded the discourse by advising
him to go back to Connecticut and
Jive with the wpman who still had
a claim on him for support instead
of trying to secure anew victim by
passing himself off as a single man.
Mr Stilts retired from the field
crest-fallen; whether he followed
Peggy's advice and went hack to his
wife who was vastly hi3 superior, is
not known.
In due course of time Alice be
came the wife of Edward Worthy,
Peggy's present to the bride was a
piano, purchased with the savipgs
J of many years.
Devoting her leisure hours to
practice, with the help of Squire
Smith's daughters, she soon became
quite a proficient in music.
Evenings there was a trio of list
eners, viz : Pegiry Watts, Uncle
Trill, and Edward, who was never
so happy a3 when listening to the
clear voice cf Alice, flowing out in
the good old songs us well as the
popular melodies of the day.
From tha Raleijh Xeics.
Trinit"yTollege, Av&if 76j
Mr. Ennis :
Dear Sir: At last I send my
my answer about Easter. I have
prepared it for the press. I want
it published with my name to it.
It required much research and cal
culation to prove my position. I
am right and I know it. The
Prayer Book is wrong. Your Al
manac is the only correct one
in the country.
Yours truly,
B. Craven.
EASTER.
The conflict of opinion as to the
true time of Easter for 18TG, has
elicited various explanations, none
of which seem to bo satisfactory.
In my opinion, the designation of
April lGt,h, according to the En
glish Book of Common Prayer, is
erroneous, and April Oth is the true
day.
Differences of opinion as to the
true time arose during the first
century, and so serious was the
contest, that it was doomed essen
tial for the Council of Nice A. D.
32-i, to settle the matter decisively.
That Council passed the following
resolutions:
1. Easter shall everywhere be be
gun to be observed en the first day
of the week, that is, Sunday.
2. Easter shall be on the San lay,
that shall next follow, immediately
after the fourteenth of tic mou,
that shall follow next after the ver
nal equinox.
C. It shall be referred to tho Bish
op of Alexandria to calculate every
year according to thes-.; rules, when
the festival shall begin.
Previous to this time the Eastern
Churches kept E.ister on the 14th
of the month
corrcspunriinj
to the Jewish Passover ; the Wes
tern Churches wait d till tho Sun-
day following. By dvu
cycles used to deirrta
ct ia various
no the time,
natred of evcrv ?'ihh
UCWISU,
haughtiness of the piirsts, and ob
stinate sectionalism, ilui e were nu
merous discrepancies and contests
during the following three hundred
years. Finally Victorias a Pres
byter cf Limoges, compounded
some of the existing cycles, form
ing a new and better one. This
was improved by Dicysius a Roman
abbot, A. D. 527, and wa3 finally
adopted in England, at a council
held at Whitbv in Yorkshire A- D.
CG4. 'Those who claimed the 14
Nilsaii, irrespective of the day cf
the week, cited as authority the
usage of St. John, the supporter ef
the Nicene decision, quoted St. Pe
ter as infallible authority. Osweg,
King cf tho Northumbrians, who
presided, asked if it wa3 certain
that St. Peter held the keys of
heaven. Being answered in the af
firmative. He sai l : 'I decide for
the Nicene ru!e, lest when I come
to the gates of heaven,
should shut them agairt me
Peter
By this decision the Dionysian
cycle and the Nicene rulo were es
tablished in England, and are the
basis or the calculations m the book
of Common Prayer.
Bj the Nicexie decree and in ac
cord therewith tha fifth rub cf the
Council of Whitby, the first Sun
day after the 14th of Nisan is Eas
ter, which is the same as the first
Sunday after the first full moon
after the Vernal Equinox. The
Council of Whitby added, contrary
to the council cf Nice, that if the
14th Nisan was on Sunday, then
Easter should bo the Sunday fol
lowing. This year the month Nisan
began March 2Gth ; April the 8th
is the 14th, and the following Sun
day, which is the next day, is Eas
ter ; hence the designation of April
9th as Easter, accords with the Ni
cene decree, and also with the big
oted sixth rule of Whitby. In 17'
17, a scheme was published accord
itifr to these rules, to determine the
church days forever in England,
this scheme puts Easter on April
9th in 1976. See Prideanx's Con
nexion, vol. 2. page 103.
I am aware ot the pretonaed rule
that says: 'if the full moon falls
after twelve o'clock on Saturday
night, it is to bj considered as
Sunday, and Easter is to come on
Sunday following.' This rule 13 ab
surd and without authority : it i3
not supported by any calendar, nor
any other rule of calculation.
1. It is absurb. When the moon
fulls April 8, the time is different
places. It i3 10 o'clock 11 minutes,
P.M., at Jerusalem; 7:39 P.M.,
at London ; 2:30 P. M., at Wash
ington ; 11:31 A; M., at San Fran
cisco ; 9 A. M., at the Sandwich
Islands. iZence by this rule there
would be two Easters, except in
idaho and Eastern Nevada where
I 2. There is no computation of time
that makes the day begin at noon,
except Astronomical. Astronomi
cal Sunday does not begin till 12
at noon of our Sunday; and hence
by this the moon is full at Jerusa
lem itself thirteen hours and fo.rty
nine minutes before Sunday begins.
For hundreds of years after the
Nincene Council, the calculations
were made at Alexandria and Rome
by Roman time; and by this the
moon was full at Rome March 8,
three hours and xhirty-two minutes
before Sunday began. By every
known rule of calculation April 16
is erroneous.
The whole matter is explained by
this, the tables in the prayer book
are incorrect. The Julian year by
which theprayer books are calculated
exceeds the solar year by which al
manacks are made, nearly one day
in one hundred years, and at the
expiration of this century the gold
en number in the prayer book must
be moved forward one day to re
pair the error. Assuming the pray
er book correct or nearly so, at the
beginning of this century, it is now
wrong by at least twelve hours,
and the full moon falling nearer
than usual to the dividing line, the
prayer book missed the canonical
Easter by one week.
According to Toinard and others,
Christ was crucified on the 3rd of
April at or near 9 o'clock a. m.;
darkness was over the land from 12
to 3 o'clock ; he died a little after
three and wa3 taken from the cross
before 5 o'c'ock ; h lay in the tomb
during 4th of April, and arose on
the 5th. Hence Easter on the Oth
is four days beyond the truo anni
versary, and the lGthis still worse.
B. Craven.
Wanted to ba an Editor.
'Have you had any experience
in tho business ?' we asked of a
vetdant looking youth who applied
for an editorial position the other
day.
'Haven't I though ?' he replied,
as he shoved one foot under his
chair to hide the unskillful patch
ing of a backwoods cobbler. 'I
should say I'd had 3ome experience
haven't I corresponded with the
Piiuipkinvilhs Screamer for six
weeks 1 Hain't that experience
cnoug!" :
'That will do very well,' we re-
pu3a, Dut wueu wc take young
men on our editorial staff, we gen
7 O
orally put them tarough an
iaation. How much are
exam
twelve times one :
'Twelve !
ourht to an
why any little boy
'Hold on, please don't bo too
fast who discovered America?'
'Klumbus ! Pshaw, them ques
tions are just as easy as'
'Who was the first man :
'Adam ! why Mister, I know all.'
'What was his other name ?'
'His other name ? hy he didn't
have none.
'Yes, he did.- You see that's
where we've got you. His other
name was .oenezer .hbenezer
Adam, Esq., late of Paradise.
Nobody knows this but editors, and
see to it that yoa don't tell any
body.
He said he woulun t.
'How many bones are there in
the human body V
'Well, I forgot now, but I did
know vrunst.'
'What ! don't you know that ?
Why there's 7,482,921,444 bones
in an ordinary man. A man that
snores ha3 one bone more than
other people.'
'What bone is that?'
'The trombone. 7s is situated
somewhere in the nose. Y'ou won't
forget that, will you ?'
He said he wouldn't.
'How long would it take a mud
turtle to cross the desert of Sahara
with a small orphan boy to touch
him up behind with a red-hot po
ker?' 'Well, look here, Mister, if I had
a slate and pencil I could figger
that out, but dog my skin if I'm
rnucu on mental ritnmetic.
'Slate and pencil ! Did you ever
see a slate and pencil about a
sanctum ? Well, we'll let that
question slip. Have you got a
rood constitution ?'
'Putty tolerable.'
'iiow long do you suppose you
could live on raw corn and faith,
and do the work of a domesticated
elephant?'
'Lord ! I don't believe I could
live mor'n a week.'
'Well, that's about as long as
you'd want to live if you got an
editorial position on this paper.
Yon appear to be pretty well post
ed; wo shall ask you one more ques
tion, and if you prove eqal to it
you can take off your coat and sail
in.'
'Let's have 'er 'squire. I didn't
correspond for the Pumphinville
Screamer six weeks for nothin'.
Let'er come i'm on deck, I am.'
'Well, sir, if two diametrical
circles with octagonal peripheries
should collide with a centrifugal
idiosyncrasy, or, to put it plainer,
we'll sav a disenfranchised nonenti
ty, what effect would the catastro
phe exert on a crystalized cod-fish
suspended by the tail from the
homogeneous rafters of the empv
jrean ?'
As the full force of this ponder
ous problem bioke upon his be
wildered brain, he slowly dragged
his inartisticaily cobbled shoe from
under his chair, and started from
the room. We heard him descend
the stairs, go out, and close the
door. We then f lacidly resumed
our dutie3, regretting that so pro
mising a youth should have been
weighed in the balance and found
wanting. Franklin Patriot.
An Exhibition of Law
Old Si, says tho Atlanta Conttis
tution, struck a streak of luck yes
terday, and was treated to one
drink too many. As he careened
down Decatur 6treet he met a dar
key who owed him fifteen cents. Old
Si stopped against a hitching pest,
and cried to the other negro.
'T-o-o-t ! T-o-o-t !'
The debtor darkey did not heed.
'Ilyar !' called Si. 'Why do mis
chief don't yer put on the brakes
dar, niggah, an' stop when I toots
ter yer ?'
Tho darkey stops and returns to
where Si was.
'Is yer got three niskles a hid
ing 'round in yer britchers, niggah?'
asked Si.
'No, Uncle Si, I 'clar ter grashus
dat I ain't dis ebening.'
'When yer gwine ter (hie) pay
up dat cash what I lent ter you,
(hie) say, niggah ?' rejoined Si.
'Ter morrer, 1 specks,' sai d the
debtor.
'Ef yer don't do it ter mor (hie)
rer, I'll swar out er alfrydavin (hie)
an' put yer whar de monkeys can't
bite yer, yer hoar dat ?'
'Shoo ! dat ain't de law, ole man,
said the young darkey.
'Tain't eh?' demanded Si,
straightening up savagely, 'see dat
fist ? and dat one ? (hie.) Dat one
am de legislatur, and dis one (hie)
am de 'spretne koart, an' ef yer
don't pay dat 15 cents in de morn
in' (hie I'm) gwine ter make yer
tink do whole State of Georgy done
fell on you !'
Having loosed his hold on the
post, Si fell into the gutter, and
the debtor left him snorting there,
after hurling the querry at him :
'Whar did de State ob Georgy
strike now?'
Mrs. Partington's Mild Protest.
Do I look like an octagon ? asked
Mrs. Partington as she sat at
bieakfast yesterday at the Grand
Central, Oakland, wifh the Chroni
cle before her, and George, the
beaming and genial exponent of
gastronomic science, pouring her
Mocha. Do I look like an octagon?
placing her fingor smilingly on the
paragraph fixing her age at seventy
seven. An octason, indeed ! she
continued, not severely, a emile
wreathing her lips as the odor of
the coffee exhaled, and her spectac
les were dewy with rising vapor
from her cup, 'they will, perhaps
make me a centurion next and a
relict of antipathy, but this is the
year ter such, and perhaps 1 should
be grateful for it, as age is honora
ble and i might find a place at the
National Imposition. Yet it is
best not to assume year3 any more
than virtues, and I shall be content
if I am never older than I am now.
This coffee is very flagrant, George,
and as she spoke she gazed into
the cup, seeing therein her good
looks reflected which sixty years
had not impaired, while George
beamed down upon her with radiant
satisfaction.
A Magic Lining Eoom.
Some months since an English
man named Atkinson bought a
country place near Pithiviers, in
France. For many weeks thereaf
ter carpenters and masons were
busily employed in repairing and
altering the chateau, and after
their work had been completed Mr.
Atkinson issued invitations for a
largo dinner party to all the most
prominent familes in the neighbor
hood. The guests arrived at 6
o'clock and on taking their seats at
the dinner table noticed with sur
prise that there wa3 not even one
servant to be seen. The soup waj
consumed in silent astonishment.
When all had partaken of it the
host sounded a whistle, and as if by
magic the soup, plates disappeared,
and three magnificent silver plat
ters, each containing a roast goose,
appeared. Little cries of terror
were heard frori the ladies. Mr.
Atkinson took no notice of his
guests' surprise, but remarking that
it was a very warm evening, whist
led asain, and the whole ceilini?
disapneared; the host's black coat
vanished at the same moment, leav
ing him clothed in a white suit.
The'guests, alarmed were about to
rise from their chairs, when they
found themselves, their chairs and
the table suddenly raised five feet
from the floor. They, however,
were soon lowered again to the
floor, and they all took reiugo in
hasty flight from the demoniac
abode. A judicial investigation
was instituted, and it was found
that Mr. Atdins had been for ten
years the chief machinist at Covent
Garden Theatre, in London fhere
he had amassed a nice little fortune.
The dinner was a freak to indulge?
bistondness for jus old pursuit.