? ',' ' '''. . ; ' -i :: I - i BE 8TJEE YOTJ AEE RIGHT ;! THEN GO AHEAD.-KD Crockett wy mm I VOL. 7?. NO. 2. TARBORO, N. 0. THURSDAY. JANUARY II, 1994. PRICE FIVE. CENTS . : rT JlAUL.JONES, i x ktt'y and, Councelor at Law .17 G. EDWARDS. I vV SIGN 'AND HOUSS P AINTES,' Paper hanging a specialty. '40tL TARBORO, N. C. TIN SHOP. X AM DOING A BUSINESS .JOB, Li. BKIDGER9 Ion, .& aoN, Attorneys-at-j-aw, TARBORO, 14 IV I i as cneap as anv. I do feDairing: m 1 0oiAnxui H ILLIAM & SON i f Attorneys-at-l-aw, TARBORO', H. Cii . Wlii practice In the Counties 6t Edgecombe, a.iif. r.H pt a.ndin the Courts of the rirst Judicial District, and In the Circuit and Supreme Courts at Baleum. . s iiu.o-i. Tin, Iron and Copper promptly. 1 j. T. WARD, Austin Building" I make the most' superior . Coffee Pot ever offered to the public. 13 tf JACKSON ; T. P. WISN, SI. D. I PHYSlLlAN &URGEQJ Office ard. next door to ! ' r Hotel 'How f 30 ly Jackson, Term., MASxrrACTtrEEEs of JO THE PUBLIC. I am 'Prepared to do all work in .the : - -:- -h "-;! School, Church What Causes Pimples? ! Clogging of the pores or months of the seha eecras gl&nda with sebum or oily matter. The pTug of sebum in the centre of the pimple is called a blackhead, grab, or oomedone. ' Nature will not allow the clogging of the pores! to continue long, hence, , . Inflammation, pain, swelling and redness,' later pas or matter forms, breaks, or is opened, the ping comes oat and the pore it once more free. There are thousands of these potas la the face alone, any one of which is liable to trrrrf clogged by neglect or disease. . ' What Cures Pimples? The only reliable preyentiTe sad cure, when not due to a constitutional humor, Is VANISHED ElVEE TOWiN ( - v . Chanffea Caused by New Ma of Trana porta Hod. segemerate Days for Klaslealppl-Tha Great Tathar ; Waters Kot What It TJse4 I te Be for Traffic 3 uxoda JUom the) Cuticura Soap. .... It contains a mild proportion of CU'llOUlLL. the great Skin Cure, which enables It to disaolre the sebaceous or jtily matter as It forms at the months of theporea. It stimulates the sluggish glands' and tubes to healthy activity, reduces inflammation, sfmthss and heals irritated and roughened snrfaoes and ' restores the skin to its original parity. This U the secret of ita wonderful snocess. . For bad complexions, red, rough hands . shapeless nails, dry, thin and falling hair, scaly and irritated scalps and simple baby blemishes it is wonderful. It is preserving, purifying and beautifying to a degree hitherto unknown among remedies for the skin and complexion. v Sale greater than the combined sales of all other skin and complexion soaps. . ', Bold throughout the world. foTTss Dkco ass Cbxx. Cobp Sola Pro prietors, Boston. . t , 1 Women full of pains, aches and weaknesses find comfort, strength and renewed vitality In .Cuticura Plaster, the first and only pain-killing, nerve-strengthenlnjf plaster when all else fails. . -L Nathan ' Williams; '. It is the fashion to talk about thej jdecadence of the steamboat business Vm the Mississippi. These degenJ. aerate days, ' when the business connned to a lew raits of logs o: lumber, a short-line packet or two,' A MIDNIGHT INCIDENT. Fermented and l ,way St. week either, and; fori at the shortest notice, Hating con Afltail with 1 mv ahoD the reoairins business. Ail work Left at my Bhop hall Have Prompt attention. i PRICES MODERATE, Also a first-claBB HEARSE for hire Thanking my friends for their former patronage, I hope o merit the same, ahoulithey need anything nthe , ' . ! ' Undertaking S - i f OR - ; Repairing Business My Place ia on Pitt Street Three Dcors ircpa tee corner oi Alain. . and Office , - ' t i Furniture- -I - . . . . . t. School and Churches Seated ' In the Best llanner. FurniEthed Send for Catalogue. .1 . SlmmoiM. J. V. WALLS, Fashionable x! Tailor. Pitt St. i one door below L. W Well & Co i Tartooroi tN" O. V. Fine Full Dress -and Evening Tailor Hade Suits J The term well dressed - ex tends from i the neck to the foot of the subject." 1 H , Cutting, repairing and- cleaning il ne at snort notice. ... , . u THE NEW YORK Wise s! hi and Iron - i - . i j Is just what you need for the . Only a few doors below Hotel Farrar, TARBORO, N.C. Cliamuev lai Have removed their I mi otherwise known mil m fTITn Tttiwi w r If THAi-T KK iVKKMNH: Old also loss of aDDetite. a a j as to their . ii I ' 1 1 1 i wtfimi v inmiin imPure Dlooa etc., so Opposite' Messrs. & W. Jefferys & Ca; wbere tney will keep a 1894- WILL EE: WITHOUT j QUESTION AMERI0A8l Leading Family r Paper- The reparation that the Weekly Herald hs enjojredfor m&n years of being the best home newspaper in the land will be materially added to daring the year of 1894. No pains or expense swill be spared to make it ia every department the -most reliable, interesting and lnstrncUye of all weekly newspaper publications. ; 'It will be improved in many ways. - i, A number of new features -and departs meats w ill be added.! The latest develop ment in all fields of contemporaneous hu man interest will be ably discussed from week to week by accompJabed writers, THE NEWS OF THE "WORLD w ill be given ia a "Concise bat complete form. Every important or Interesting event, either at home or abroad, will -be duly described in the columns of the Weekly. Herald. ' .' - ; . i X In politics the Herald is absolutely inr dependent and sound. It tells the rights aod wroogs of all sides without fear. Farmers and stock raisers cannot afford to be .w ithout the Weekly Herald during the ceminff vear. Tt will contain A reralar department ech week devoted exclusive- ( VioTfYiloaa' r frir fnnf Vi I end givingmany valuable suggestions and new laeas. i ' r t ! I - -The women and children ; of the. land will find in the Weekly Herald a welcome visitor, i The household and children's panes will' be imth instructive and enter taining. They will abound in hints and receipts which women so much value. I A brilliant array ' of novels and short or:8 by the-bett writers ini America and England has been secured, bo that fiction will be one of the most attractive features in the Weekly Herald during 1894 ' 1 m ' fact,- the Weekly Heralds will be a nagatine of the highest order, 'Combined " wmjirenj newspaper. ' j 1 '! : .1 1 I ' XOW IS THE TIME TO SUBSCRIBE. i' . ' - : common of the year. Being made from bet dejtannated Sherry Io tneir m? and m continue u gi wine, Extract of Beef, and Chloride of Iron, it combines the prop ertied of a ' mild and agreeable stimulant witn those of an ex cellent reconstructive tonic. The Ohloride hf Iron used is considered by FrUlt aM CMj Stailfl many puysicians 10 De the most active form Fresh Candies. .. - 1 1 : i I ' Oi. iron, oesmes oe;ng Special attention and guaranteeing their FIRST CLASS. Long exDerience and a thorough nnow ledge of all kinds of watches, -AT THE - tastele. s and ' entirely i Bananas &c -THE- PreDareil ai Sold by Candy and Fruit Stand, one boat a between . St. Louis ArVtftOIAn S M : W , WVtNiVU SVSl plenty of I Invidious comparisons, with the old days of palatial, steam-: era and; tows of fire big barges of freight, ': besides the loads on the boats themselves, of full cabin lists ;and fast time, of swell passengers and big profits. , J : ' But the decay' of the river'traffio is not confined to the loss of the boats and the decrease in their number and tonnage. ' On shore all along the river. are evidences , tnat tnese days are 'different from those when the steam- boatman i was, the monarch of all men. They are found with melan choly frequency in the dead and dying towns along the river, not to mention those other places that were .once prominent shipping places, of; which hardly a memory now re imains. i - There are dozens of such places. They were built up by the steam ,boat traffic In times when railroads 'were deemed nothing more than re- prospered. They fed the steamers and the steamers fostered them. In' land towns had but small chance be- 'side them, and were looked upon with contempt as places far in the backwoods,' hopelessly remote from i the channels of commerce and com munlcation and forever doomed to it it i i DDUUl tilings, i Well, within the memory of men iwho are now active on the river, Urorf Louisa, Louisa county, some distance below Aiuscatine, was a great grainshipping point. Half a dozen big warehouses stood there, and there were dwellings, and there was a mill- and possiDiy anotner in dustry or so. The place had the 'promise of growth and increase. It was the place where the wheat and '.rye and oats and barley and pota rtoes of thousands of acres of rich Iowa and Mississippi river bot tom lands found passage on the packets ; and barges for Vn tti a vrmln ' t9 Gt' Ttit XTatti. i m . u . a n i r - - - y phis or ; New Orleansj To-day there Is not a stick or stone, there to remind the stranger that! men did fTf'flTS A i&ctive and profitable business there WttUliO Till i-HMn a m mwn J J vwm a av - n ;f ew years the brick chimneys of the imiu stood, near me river Danic, and approaching nearer to it every year as the soft earth cut and crumbled Into the water .with the floods. At last the very site has been absorbed by the Mississippi, and has gone to build up a bar somewhere for Mai 'McKenzie's engineers to work and 'worry over, i Forty miles or so down the river, thirty years ago, stood East Burlington. . The Chicago, Burlington & Quincy did not cross ithe river there tai 1869, and there was a prosperous town opposite the Iowa town . of; that name. It had two hundred yards of levee better than Davenport ever had, and it is thereto-day. it-is buried under a sandbar that chokes the channel in front of Burlington for half its width, the melancholy remains of two or three tow-heads! and bars above 4-TiCaA In fnwirtfciv ' woqihi tOY mwiava . v am ,avt u . j vs t? wis a viuy v a by the change of currents resulting from the construction of dams across some of the chutes above. Six miles below there, on the Eli nois side, in a Choquoquon chute, in former years stood another lot of warehouses similar to those at .fort Louisa. The farmers of Henderson and Hancock counties, IU.. used to haul their grain and other produce to them, there to await the coming of the boats in the spring. . It used to be a race for the honor of being the first to enter this chute and tap those warehouses. The first boat there after the ice went out was sure of a load! to the guards,' and more than that' she could not carry. Now there is not a fragment of warehouse or a suggestion that there, ever was one there. pavenport (Ia.) Demo crat. , i Catsup Caused an Expla. . sloru The head of a home In northeast Baltimore was awakened by his wife with the Information that burglars were in the house. He ridiculed her suspicions at first, but some ominous noises from the region of the kitchen tinauy convinced him that some thing was wrong. He got up, and not having a weapon, seized a bronze ornament and boldly started on a tour of investigation. Entering the dining room he managed to overturn several chairs as a preliminary warn lug to the Invaders, as he did not care to surprise them. The ominous sounds continued, however, and cold chills began chafing each other in rapid transit style up and down his spinal column. Urged on by encouraging stage whispers from his wife, he moved toward the kitchen, clutching his weapon until its outlines were im printed on his hands. Then he pushed . open the door. As it swung back a . pistol-like report echoed throughout the house, caus ing the investigator to beat a hasty retreat, firmly convinced that he was shot i . Under the gaslight he soonTounct that he was unhurt, and again' ad vanced on the kitchen.. This time he entered and lit a match, but just then the kitchen door shut with a bang, puffing out the light and In creasing the terror which had taken possession of him. After another retreat the kitchen was again en tered, and this time the gas was lighted. Then surprise took the place of fear. The kitchen looked as if a small-sized cyclone had struck It. Broken china and glass encum bered the floor and everything was in confusioa. But no burglar could be seen. - . Searching further the cause was soon discovered. The wile bad put up a quantity of catsup in bottles and placed them on a shelf. During the night the catsup began to fer ment. Several bottles exploded, throwing surrounding objects to the floor and creating havoc generally. Baltimore bun. AN (Jriental tale il Delicate Point Settled by Wtedom of the Cadi. t , tha r A PETRIFYING SPRING. by fl&MWS The Peculiar Qualities Possessed a ueorgia Fountain. . The recent account of the wonder ful properties of a certain creek in the Black Hills country, which is said to transform plants, nuts, leaves and even flesh into solid stone, re minds me that there is a spring in Brooks county, Ga., which In a very short time converts wood and sev eral other substances into hard rock: The peculiar qualities of this Georgia fountain have been known since early in the century, when an old "b'ar hunter" accidentally lost his knife in the basin, which has been hollowed out of the granite strata' by the ceaseless bubbling of the water. A month later the old hunter again repaired to the spring and was agreeably surprised to find his favor ite knife. , The water had had no effect upon the bright steel, not even to the ex tent of leaving a speck of rust, but with the wood of the knife's handle it was far different. The petrifying particles with which the water is so highly impreg nated had entered every pore and sap-tube in the wood, and what was only a few weeks before a hickory handle of "home make" was ' now two thin slabs of solid stone, wood-, like in appearance, but as hard and unyielding as a chip from a granite, bowlder. To this day the place is known as "Old Moore's petrifying spring. St. Louis Republic How a Wcoul &lBcteo0 So Lot Ho ao Bo Sam Oorto4 ta rror of . rlalatlfl-la loterostta Case of tMapatod PomomUo. .Sir,- Uid . Adunah, as he ap peared with his slater Fatima be fore the judge, "perhaps you will re member the brave Abbas, who died thirty years ago. He was our fa ther, and left both of ushis property In equal portions, on which we have hitherto subsisted in common. Fati ma, it la truo, has been peevish and quarrelsome during' the last few years, but I always gave way, as I am a lover! of peace. But I have re cently chosen the beautiful Zoraida for my bridd, and thought of giving her this valuable string of pearls the most precious keepsake of my father in my possession, for he gave it to me or) his 'return from a jour ney when I was five years old, and It has been mine ever since. pearls are fcart. rjf our father's lega cy, and claims half of them as her share. She ; refuses to listen to my arguments' and Insists upon her claim, hot, - Indeed, for the sake of the pearls; oh, not I see quite plain ly she wants to spoil my pleasure and that of ny bride elect, for my sister does not like the Idea of Zoraida entering the paternal house as mistress. VNow, wise cadi, give me judgment." The cadi bowed his head and said: 'Tatima, Is the case a your brother stated?" .It is all quite correct excepting the assertion that the string of pearls belongs to him alone. How; does he mean to prove that father gave it him? j dispute the fact and claim my share,' my reason lor so doing is immaterial to the question at issue. ! "Well,. Abdullah," said the cadi, addressing the plaintiff, "have you any living witnesses or any hand' writing to? prove that your father gave you the pearlsT" "I have nothing of the kind," was the reply, i "That is a bad outlook," the cadi continued, t 'I fear there Is no pros pect of an amicablo settlcmeut by persuading your sister to accept a sum of money for her share." "No," she broke in, "I want half of the pearls. ' "Very well," said the cadi, beck oning to his clerk; "I must have a report of the case drawn up before delivering judgment. Bay, defend ant, .your name is Fatima. What Is your age?" ' Here she blushed, hesitated, tried more thanjonce to speak, but never uttered a syllable. "How old are you?" the cadi re peated. Speakr - At last J she replied, in faltering tones: "I am twenty-eight." "Really?" said the judge, with an ironical smile. ' 1 hereby award the whole string of pearls to Abdullah alone. Take: them, plaintiff, and go your way fir) peace 1 Fatima Is not your sister, 'for Abbas died thirty years ago; and she is only twenty- eight." FUegende Blatter. Highest of all ia Leavening Power. Latest U. S. Gov't Report. isasassT, -ill w-il bLCil fcU.Ja.;; Ttto Dilemma of a Negro Porter on a Mexican Road. . forty of Toortoto Waat Tropic of Coooar m Tfeor Crooo -Foto Coot Pl4 It oa BIO to Sa tbo It A 4 traveler of experience '. says: "Never worry because you cannot speak the language of the country you are in. Speak English, and the people will get your meaning if there's any money in it. ' Use signs instead of words, and you will -be surprised to see how, well you get on." In this matter, however,' a lit tle knowedge is not a dangerous but a very valuable thing. In "Mexico," T. L. Rogers describes crossing a line which, though imaginary, is one that every schoolboy and schoolgirl has heard about. ' ; ' At half-past five we reach Gutier rez, and at half-past six are due at EYesnillo. Between these stations lies that mysterious line which, we have read about but never seen, the iTropic of, Cancer. When the major Reminded the boys of this fact, they said they must get up to see that )ine. ' ! "We -don't cross a tropic every 'day, and we should be showing dis respect to geography if we didn't turn out to meet it," said the cap tain. "1 "So be it," said the major; '"are'll tnake sure of a calL 111 ask the gentleman from Missouri' to wake us up." I ': "Porterl" ! - . t HE i SETTLED IT. x and the mem- STATON & ZOELlER .IV! rain Street. Tarboro, July 20th. tf Tarboro, N. C. 1 1 Only Sl.OO a Year I f Hsnd VobSamplx CtoP.. Iddress : ' ; f ' v THE WEEKLY '.HERALD, Hebai.dSqda.be, ,- NEW YORK, vf. K. t. SMI Til. Frincinal of the COMMERCIAL COLLEGE of KENTUCKY UNIVERSITY vwimiAVAM MV AUIAttDED THE TVTTTJAT. Ami DIPLOMA Br th WarU'i OalaBfclaa Eipo.lt! om, for Jitm f Aook-k-iBC mm BlBMdaatl-, et t oompleu a IuImh Cum Mod SM. Isalodiac Mitlom, oaolu Ud board. PhoiKTpbT, Trp, Writ! of ui Tilegrmphj taught. Address, w. K. aniiu, uxincwai The undersigned ' informs his fiiends that he is still representing P. W. Batea i $525 Marble Yard M. Ml VI Agents' profits per month. Will" prove it or pay forfeit New article- just out. A $1.60 sample and terms free.' Try us. Chidester & Son, 28 $ond bt,, JN, x. jHjLEjV'GOLDEM CAPSDIES' -J Aro oof ond Always !,to.Vuui Tararr cc Pennyroyal PtUs Bucceesfully used In. toousanda of ckI i, rty.rMTMtort. noTerftuia, Price l. An Idaatogaanlt LAKESIDE SPECIFIC Market 8U. CiUcsVlU, TBS CODPEi HASSLE WORKS, j 111, 113 and 115 Back 8treet. ' NORFOLK, VA. LARQK 8T0Glf OF FINISH KI Monuments, and Gravestones. Ready for Inmediale DeliTery. March 81, 18iB. 3 i and can furnish Tombstones of all kinds at lowest prices. Orders left with me will' receive prompt atten- ! tion. Yours truly, THOS-E. LEWIS. Tarboro. Auer: 31. .i 3m . M. Ll HUSSEY, BUILD Ell TARBORO, N. O. Woman Kills an Eagl. Mrs. Mary.Gilman, wife of a well- to-do farmer residing near Bird mountain in Ira, had a fierce encoun ter with an eagle. She saw the bird about to swoop down upon her fowls and endervored to frighten it away. The eagle attacked her, and itwas only after a vigorous fight that she succeeded in killing It with a hatchet. She had some fearful marks of the struggle, and went to Rutland to have a physician dress her bruises, taking her trophy of victory with her. The eagle measured five and one-half feet from tip to tip, and is I one of the largest and handsomest ever seen in the vicinity. Boston: Herald. ..(- Contesting Wills.' It seems to be a reflection on the administration of the law that when ever a rich man dies, it 1 Is assumed that : somebody who is dissatisfied will contest the will. ' The presump tion of the law ought to be that every testator is of sound and dis- PQiJgjrMdiirowayn CHuen. j 1 : " t- - , A Story of N a poison. " Sir William Fraser, whose oirs are just published, writes as follows about Napoleon: When Na poleon was at school at Brienne, the son of an English peer, who himself became Lord Wenlock, was bis school fellow. One day the little Cora lean came to young Lawleyand said: Look at this.' He showed him a letter written- In remarkably, good English. It was addressed to the British admiralty, and requested permission to enter our navy. The young Bonaparte said: The difficul ty, I am afraid, will be my religion.' Lawley said: 'You young rascal, I don't believe that you have any re ligion at all.' Napoleon replied: 'But my family have; my mother's race, the Ramolini, are very rigid; I should 'be disinherited If I showed any signs "of becoming a heretic.' These' facts' I had from one who had very good means of knowing. He told me that Bonaparte's latter was sent, and that it still exists In the archives of the admiralty." The Grand Vixlar of Turkey Armenian Question. It is said that foreign ambassa dors to Turkey recently complained to the sublime porte that the prisons of Constantinople were overcrowded with political prisoners from Ar-: men" a. The government decided to remove the cause of the complaint and shipped three hundred of the prisoners on board a man-of-war for transportation to Africa. The ves sel was only gone a very short time, however, and it was a mystery what bad become of the prisoners until a Russian merchant vessel in the har bor of Constantinople, while raising her anchor a few days since, brought up with it fifteen hair-cloth sacks,' such as ikret - used by -Turkish mer chants for packing goods for ship ment. At first the Russian thought that he had found -traces of smug glers, buf when he came to examine the sacks he found that they were filled wittk human bodies, eighteen or twenty In a sack. The. bodies were ascertained to be those of Ar menians. It is said that the erand vizier said ;not long ago that he would settle the Armenian question by annihilating the Armenians, and he is said to be in a fair way to ful fill his threat. ' The matter has been reported to Russia, aslt is thought that some of the murdered Armeni ans were Russian subjects. "Yes.sah." . f "Please call us three about twenty jininuues before we get to the Tropic iofCttnccr; irtvaat tw Uo up wlicn we get to the torrid rone." "Torrid zonel No such station, aahl" . i - . "Whatl are you sure?" ; ; "Never heard of it, sah." ' The boys had to laugh at the look on Pete's face. Evidently he thought he knew the names of the stations, but in order1 to justify himself he drew out a time table and read: ;"Jimulco, Camachoj Fresnillo; no Cancer there, sah I Here's Canitas; may be that's what you mean,' sah." "Ph, no, this train goes past Can cer, or I have been misinformed," said the major, very positively, "and if I have been, 111 make a row." - "Maybe it's on the other road, 'sah, and you ought to have changed cars at Torreon," said the porter a "little disturbed. "Say it again, sah, please; I don't get on to the Spanish very welL" "Tropico de Cancer," soberly said the major. , f . "Sorry, sah, . but you're on the wrong train, suah. No such statien on dis yer road; no Topico, no Torrid Zone." I "Well, porter, you are not to blame if we are, but please wake us at half-past five." I . . Pete's voice was soon heard In the smoking room. A 'dialogue was go ing on between the conductor and the porter. I Porter Got a time table? 1 Less see it. (Silence.) Jess like mine. "What is it?" "Why, that major with the two boys wants to be called at Topico de Cancer. I tole him no such station." "Was he awake?" "Certain." "Did he say Topico?" "That's what he said. He . said this train go past that, or he's been tole wrong." - . j ' ' "Well, you didn't understand him; heAnows what ht's about, he's been over this road before." j -. '"Maybe he has, but he nebber seen no Cancer, all the same; he's plum crazy, or I'm out; but he gets off at Zacatecas. I'll wake brra up at five o'clock, and let him hunt for it." Youth's Companion. 1 . THE FULLNESS OF, 1 CS t OrtT. . The Effort Put Forward by a South- am Ohio Lawyer. The shrewdness in working up and presenting the remarkable case against Lizzie Borden suggests tha effort. of a southern Ohio lawyer some years ago in "adducing tha fullness of testimony." The casoj was that or a young man on trial for murder, anl the witness -under cross-examination a young lady who had, so it ws3 alleged, scon the young man . running away from thq bouse of his victim. Said the attor ney: Now, ah. Miss .Jennings, where were you on tho evening of Decem ber 4?" , "At home, sir, at my mother's housct" .''; "How far away ?" ' . ' "A short distance, sir.'" - "How far?"- - "I don't know exactly, sir." . "Don't you know the distance, in feet and Inches?" . "N-no, sir." "A -a-ah! . Now, Miss. Jennings, did you see the defendant os that night?" "Yes, sir; ho ran past our door." "How fast was be goin?" "I don't know exactly, sir. "A-a-ahf Write that down. "Now, Miss Jennings, how old ore you?" : "Nineteen, sir.",. r "How old are your parents?" J . 'Tatlfer ' is forty-four, mother forty-three. ' "How do you know you are nine teen?" "They told" "Tct, tutl No hearsay testimony goes ia this court. What was the color of your grandmotbera cf es?" "I I don't remember, slr.r. "Ah-hat Now, how often did your grandfather shaver "Oh, I d-d-on't re" " "Ah-har; Writes that down. "Now, Miss Jennings, bow did your grandfather die?" VHa was kicked by a horse, sir." "What color was the horse?" "How can I tell you, sir?" The court:, "Will the attorney for defense please inform the court what he. Is driving at?" '"Why ahem! Your honor ahem! an' may it please the court, here is a woman who is willing to swear away the life of a young man, an I promise to show by'erown testimony that 'er memory is .not to be relied on. She didn't even know, your honor, whether 'er grand father was killed, by a Connecticut pennyroyal er a Kainjucky thor bred " The roar that followed closed the , cross-examination long before- the girl had been competed to give the exact day of the month on which Adam stole the apple and blamed It onto his innocent wife. N. Y. Jour nal. ' .... , '. Hatpins; tho Barber. "Some men think that if they draw down their upper lips It helps us in shaving the lip, but it doesn't," said a down-town tonsorial rtlst the other day. "Oa the con trary, it really makes matters worse, as it is then almost Im possible . to -"get at the cornersof tho mouth properly. I always hate to say anything about it, for some people are easily offended, you know, and then they are doing their best. as they, think, to help us 'along!" Philadelphia CalL ' Patience on Both Sides. Miss Simkins What are you writ ing mostly? Young Author-Oh, telling my creditors to wait a little longer. -j Jcdg. , - Care of the Hair. Loyal to Excess. . King Oscar of Sweden once passed through a little town which was fes tively decorated for the occasion. Among the rest a huge transparency, affixed to a gloomy-looking edifice, attracted his attention. It bore the inscription: "Welcome to Your Maj esty!" in gigantic characters. "What building is that!" the king inquired. . "That Is the county prison, your majesty," replied one of the alder men. The'king laughed, and was heard to observe: "That is carrying mat ters a little too far!" Chronik der ZeiL For the girl that has no maid to brush her hair, and must depend on her own exertions for the daily "hun dred strokes'" which are said to give it length and vigor, there is encour agement to be found in the magnifi cent hair six feet nine inches long of a ' lady now living in London, known as "the lady with the long hair." She j wears it tied "queue" fashion with black ribbon. The hair is now grayj and the lady no longer young; but; she still. retains her wealth of wondrous hair, which was the marvel and admiration of the va rious courts and circles in the many countries where she has resided as the wife of a diplomat; and she Bicycles at the Theater.! On all hands one can see in Paris the daily spread of the cycling mania, for such in reality it has become. One of the Parisian managers an nounces that ladies or gentlemen ar riving jat his bouse "en bicyclette" can have their machines warehoused free of charge , during the .per formance in a room specially set apart for the purpose. The piece which is being played at his house, the Gaite, is a "revue," or burlesque,-called "Les Bicyclistes en Voyage," wherein the principal characters are on wheels. ! Comparative Compensations. The college presidents of this coun try receive on an average $3,947 a year for their services. The lad who rode the winner of the Futurity was paid $5,000 for- the mount and Corbett got a fortune for beating John L. Sullivan. Every day is pro ductive of evidences that bulging in tellects and ability to corral the mighty dollar do not always mani- attributes her rare possession to feat themselves through the same persevering energetic brushing. mediums of flesh and blood. Pitts Philadelphia Press. i I burgh Dispatch. The Old Friend And the best. friend, that never fails you, la Simmons Liver Eegn- '. . later, (the Bed Z) that's what you hear at the mention of thi3 excellent Liver medicine, and people should not be persuaded that anything else will do. It is the King of Liver Medi cines; is better than pills, and . takes the place of Quinine 'and -Calomel. It acts directly on the Liver, Kidneys and Bowelvand gives new life to tho whole sys tem. This is the medicine you ' ' want. Sold by all Druggists in Liquid, or in Powder to be taken " dry or made into a tea,. srETKHY piCKicm Haa tt S ntmmtm tm rm mm wrappc. j. u. anus comtMUipw - , 71 i

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