Newspapers / Winston-Salem Chronicle (Winston-Salem, N.C.) / Oct. 13, 1979, edition 1 / Page 14
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\ Pa?e 14 - The Chronkk, Saturday, October 13, 1979 togethc ^ Getl & A ltfl titfgjk A1? Tall \ [James P. Comer and Alvin F. Pooaaalnt are ptychia- 1 trists and the authors of the book "Black Child Care." Dr. Comer la professor of child psychiatry and associate 1 dean for student affairs at Yale University School of Medicine. Dr. Pooaaalnt is associate professor of < psychiatry and associate dean for stndent affairs at ; WW m ^ - ? - norvard Medical School.) < Dear Dr. Comer: Recently you advised the aunt of a disturbed child to encourage his mother to seek ; professional help. My 6 year old nephew is a problem ( but I don't think he needs such help. He is just i obnoxious and aggressive. He fights, lies and i steals- nothing important, but I'm afraid that will be the next step. He lives nearby and I hate to see him coming, j His father is too strict and his mother, my niece, lets \ him do whatever he wants to do. She thinks it's cute. I z don't want to ban them from our house, but 1 am r q tempted. How else might I handle the problem? c Worried Aunt Dear Worried Aant: . The child may not need s professional help, but the parents may. But before t - considering that possibility, let's talk about what may be c going on and ways to deal with it short of professional l treatment. Sharp differences in childrearing beliefs and styles v may represent different upbringing, beliefs and tem- c perament. But it may represent subtle but serious s marital disharmony. n It may be a simple communication problem or a failure tl to recognize therharm their difference of opinion about o ^ ; i :? ... v.iiiuicaring can cause ana, therefore, they have no * motivation to reconcile their differences. s Even if there is no serious marital problem now, it can p develop as the problems of the child, and perhaps their u own, grow more difficult. r< A number of young peopled feel that traditional childrearing practices made children too passive. Some t< young parents who feel that they were too passive and conforming themselves try to rear their own children so , that they will be more assertive and aggressive. 4 have met young black parents who feel that their j children must be assertive and aggressive so that they !, won't permit conditions of the past to return and so that they will attack racial problems of today. As 1 have stated before in this column, helping ? children become assertive and aggressive enough to j ?fight-for their rights and opportunities is desirable. But it's desirable only as long as children are also ' encouraged to be fair;-responsible and not to compro- ; mise the legitimate j-ights and opportunities of others. . t Far too manV npnnlp frr?rr? all ' ' ? j | r..v.m uu muua ui giuups?raciai, ' religious, income-are more interested in obtaining opportunities for themselves, often calling them rights, than in being concerned about fair play, personal responsibility and the rights and opportunities of others. Social problems from increased white collar crime to dangerous streets are related to this growing tendency. I suggest that you pick a time when your niece is most ! Sorry, there is no excuse tor not reading the medicine label. The label tells you wh.it it's tor, how much to take and howottcn to take it. It's important information. Before \i hi t.ike any medicine, read the label. Medicines can't help you if you don't take them right. O.X NUl OS FAMILY HEALTH ^ A puhtic irf iKf rrunutxruirr* of mrdicirw HMRS ONE OF THE WORLD'S GREAT MEN'S MAGAZINES ! < ? Featured in the October issue: COLLEGE FOOTBALL FORECAST ... Players' resident fortune teller Ronald r Leal sticks his neck out and picks Bear Bryant's Alabama to win it all in college football this year?with Southern Cal, Nebraska, Michigan State and Georgia giving the Tide a run for the money. THE BLACK VENUS ... Don't miss this profile of a sexy, beautiful black women who inspired some of the world's greatest poetry and caused the poet to go mad! - B.B. KING ... the great blues artist talkes about his music, his recent trip to Russia and an upcoming tour of China in this exclusive interview with Players. PLUS ... a fascinating article about the little-known Black Caribs of Central America ... A funny look at some of the strangest colleae football games ever played . . . and a sexy Black-French centerspread discovery! ? PLAYERS MAGAZINE j October Issue ? On Sale Nowl \ PON'TMISS IT ?2?? J ir A/omen likci y to be receptive and discuss the problem with her. A likely time would be an occasion when she is temporarily overwhelmed by her son's behavior. It often helps to ask whether you can make some 3bserv ations or give some advice rather than to barge in and start preaching. You can point out that you are :ommenting because you care about her and her family, rhen describe how your nephew's behavior makes you ind the members of your family feel. It should be )bvious--but if not. make it so--that others with less eason to be accepting of such behavior must be even Tiore irritated. You should suggest to you niece that she discuss the jroblem of a-different childrearing style with her lusband so that they can begin to work toward greater igreement. Some of your nephew's behavior is probably elated to the contusion and insecurity thaTThe~extferne iifferences in childrearing style create for a child. Incidently. children who are six are not really lying or stealing. They are usually trying to control the situation o get what they want. They don't understand that they an't have what belongs to others. They need help in earning this. That is why. your niece can't permit her son to do whatever he likes. You might point our that unless hildren are helped to develop the balance between tanding up for their own rights and opportunities and ot compromising those of others, there is a good chance hat they will become selfish, unfair people who exploit thers. Families and neighbors are most often the victims of uch people. Social problems aren't solved by such eople. Children aren't bom with the balance necessary ;> be effective, fair, responsible people.?They must be eared to become responsible. (If you have any questions for the doctors, send them d "Getting Along," care of this newspaper.) (C) 1979. Summit Press Syndicate SHOP YOUR NEAREST ^ SEARS RETAIL STORE WpQfj NC ^Greensboro, Wtnston Salem, Raleigh. Lj^yCXl * Durham. Favett^eville. Wilmington, Burlington, Goldsboro. Greenville ?ba?*. roebuck an High Point, Jacksonville, Rocky Mount * ' ? ). Day Care Centers Must Immunize Children attending li- censed or not, may result censed day-care centers in closure under the new now must be immunized quarantine law.*' against the childhood di- i ~ seases, or an offending operator runs the risk of losing the facility's li- J 1 Under the new state f QM immunization law, any child attending a licensed . MirrriT day-care center must have flK been vaccinated against measles, polio, diptheria, rubella (German - mea- HER! sles), whooping cough. and tetanus before ad- f#' mission, or within 30 days after admission. Previously children were not required to get this protection until they started to kindergarten or first grade. "We see this stronger law as an important step toward eliminating unpro- j tected children from our pre-school populations/' said Dr. J.N. MacCormack, head of the communicable . disease branch of the Wachovia has Department of Human Kernersville are? Resources. "While we venience of local have the mechanism for Became enforcing the law at li- That s why W; censed facilities, we must customer. ndv depend on the good people like Polly judgement of the small, , cause-we Wc ?unlicensed?operators?to a C ^ l"?? speak to^the children's " to bank with. parents about immunization. However, an out- MemKrFDic break in any facility, li I _ 1 Where America shops I ?? sj 'or Value I oro 10:00 A.M. *tlM Open Sunday 1 I - I sale on i LADIES COATS i Open An Account today Downtown At IjeromesI Slipcovers ^ OP0 W ACCOWT I \ Furniture /Z.t*. > 520m.u#trry I ?Ufjilv-to-Wyar (TwfcShgp ) 722-7474 M 11 1~ LKIVlit I CUpK ? ' / / ' JB ^|^^V/ f : f) v i| -"^Si ?v> y wmmr-vfff ft! Polly Price Manager, West End Office i 19offices in the Winston-Salem/Clemmons/ i. That's more than any other bank. But conrion isn't the only reason people bank with us. ? bank with people, not locations. achovia assigns a Personal Banker to every vhy we're proud of our branch management Price. int our people to UfaPhfflllfl id ot people you like WOul HJVIQ Bank&Trust Of ? ? - - ? ? ' ? ' ? ;. 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Winston-Salem Chronicle (Winston-Salem, N.C.)
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Oct. 13, 1979, edition 1
14
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