Coping Impotency can be By DR. CHARLES FAULKNER :. yndlcted Columnisl One of the increasing problems that people want to resolve is the problem of sexual dysfunction on the part of themselves or a spouse. Sexual dysfunction, also known as impotence, increases with the increase of stress in society and leads inevitably to marriage failure. What ic cpviiol ? r"v ..u;jiuiimuu: s.u. reiers to tne inability to reach orgasm or even experience the responses normally associated with forplay. S.D. may have physical or psychological origins. At first awareness of a problem, the victim should consult a competent physician to determine if any organs are injured, diseased or inadequately developed. If such a discovery is made, the doctor will use his expertise to help resolve the problem. ^^^^^^Bu^suppose the problem is not due to a physical defi.,t>cienr.y, fiTI&liffi a rase, it is pryrhalnflir al, inrl most psychologically inititated dysfunctions can be traced to personal feelings of inadequacy that induce stress. Stress, in turn, causes the malfunction. This is the usual scenario: Two people marry (even though one need not be married in order to have a sexual dysfunction) and things seem to work fine initially. Then, one of the mates . becomes angered, argumentative or critical of the other. The troubled mate begins to question himself or herself . as a person. Am I good enough to succeed in life? Am I ' good enough to fulfill the needs of my spouse? These questions become nagging reminders of one's inadequacy. The questioner usually has predetermined answer, which is 44no." .... Because of the intense desire to provide satisfactory sexual companionship, the victim becomes self-conscious and begins to try hard to do something that should be naturel and occur without abnormal effort. After ~ . i r_:i .? !-*! ? j - icpcaicu iauurcb, me victimized maie sians 10 anucipaie failure: "I know that things will be the same tonight as they always are. 1 really want to make my spouse happy ~ but maybe 1 never will be able to." Broadway : From Page C1 I /fy , ; MMMMUHMIIIIIIIHIIMIIIIIIimillllllllMIIMI. I | I jCUtltt white girl.* "We didn't come out H I wailing and gospel scream- H ing," she says. "We were H / /C/ * singing all these proper H f J songs, right on the beat. H ^6/ \ They thought we were try- H ^ . : ing to imitate white H rporal on Parkway groups." The Pointers started with H . close-harmony jazz rfl) ' nostalgia. That got tiresome H if .fl/fti : and they tried rock'n'roll ~ H V ^ ; the "Energy" and 44Priori- H ty" LPs. Vlntyo 44We had no problem : with that, clothes-wise," H Ruth says, noting that the H Si Vl C Pointers put on leather H 0 jeans after setting a style H ?|IVC ? with '30s and '40s dresses. H But rock wasn't working H for them, Anita says. 44We H A| backed up off that," she H m M/ M says. 44I loved doing it but in ft// you've got to pay the house H I *1 payments. My daughter is H WK growing up now. She needs H money for school. We got a H j little more pop." H jmnniinmiiiimniiiiimnmiiimnimnii vitvwvviVIIRVvllVVIVVVVIillVVIIIVVVVIIVIIVIIIHlVVI Films I From Page C1 I As I said before, this is an H amazingly boring film. The JJ " "the fifriTs premise ~ that it would take a H |IV ^ y. ^ supreme botch-up to make H them fail ? and that's exact- H \ ly what happens. H ll \x^Wl The biggest irony in all of H II l J/J this, of course, that H Leonard Nimoy, who | usually plays Mr. Spock in the series, directed "The Moth P Search For Spock." I Why they let him do that H is even a greater mystery H than Spock's fate. YOU Still, I hope there'll be a H CO^ "Star Trek IV," and that H VO they'll let somebody who H ^ V can capture the true essence INVE of good, old-fashioned THEI movie fun handle it -- like maybe Spielberg or Lucas. H Otherwise, beaming up H -/' may become downright H | COh painful. "Star Trek III: The Search For Spock" Is play- H CALL ing at the Thru way Cinema. H TODA! : It it rated PC. PICK-UI Next Week: "Indiana Jones the Temple of Doom." * caused by stress Unfortunately, in many instances, the spouse begins to indicate displeasure at a lack of fulfillment through argument or some other subtle action. Thus, sexual involvement becomes a stressful contest for both mates. The victimized mate feels the stress of inadequacy. The other mate feels the stress of being unfulfilled. They both find the sexual encounter unfulfiliing and engage in it less and less. The resolution of this unpleasant situation is ex-v pressed in both individuals seeking satisfaction outside of the marriage. Then, separation and divorce becomes the result. Space does not allow me to provide detailed methods of resolving the problem but here briefly are some helpful aids. 1. Remain calm and affectionate regardless of the extent of the problem. 2. Encourage the spouse with confidence-building slafrgrwcwts."Tiy lu avoid hgting"ghc mate bieum* sdf- ""conscious. Let the mate know that sexual fulfillment involves more than the sexual organs. You find a loing satisfaciton in the closeness that comes with sexual involvement. 3. Find out if there are problems on the job, in social activities or other aspects of their life that are causing undue stress. Help the mate to resolve them. 4. Determine if your own behavior, subtle or apparent, is creating inadequacy, stress and self-criticism within your mate. 5. Experiment with different approaches to sexual engagement and extended foreplay. Ask if there is anything that you can do to make the interaction more suitable. 6. If all else fails, consider seeking professional consultation with a counselor or a trained, competent, licensed sex therapist. All questions directed to Dr. Faulkner should be sent directly to P.O. Box 50016, Washingon, D.C. 20004. a Manor 2S1 S. * I j \y vjy ^^ClIANtBS LAUNO??C?S^^^ ^ Wachovia Bldg. SOI K. Third St. (Borage Level) rd Pfaia Oldtewn Shopping Ctr. your I ind woolens I imtflffif I Storage Vault I ~ w iibii an M^wn i fliBBirE=?aBvaatai roof it Fire Proof it Insured I REMEMBER ? I IR WINTER WARDROBE >T A LOT OF MONEY ? I U CAN "INSURE YOUR ESTMENT" BY STORING I M WITH US DURING HOT SUMMER MONTHS. | 1PLETE LAUNDRY * DRYCLEANINQ | CUP * DELIVERY SERVICE 722-6190 J ir 722-6196 I P AND DELIVERY SERVICE A7 eatDepi j**i ARTERS m \,59 Jk *? + ntv.i\ 99|Ul BONES * FRESH DRESSED ^ HENS 5V^ ~ LB ICE E CREAM ^ ^$R^i 8 ^ V2 gal. ctn JUICY RED RIPE^^^^^^ WATER- $*(99 MELONS 1 DELICIOUS BANANAS $1.! i |nORK M' -,,4 IEANS ? *' 1 VMESTOWN - ..? m... ?? nmuuj. ?omr?? ? iLB.PKG. DIXIE CRYSTAL ^ugar|, A A A k k ^L Sif" ? guht ISC U ITS <2/99* COUNTRY FRESH GRADE A WHITE MED. SIZE PQA ri EGGS 9 grouhp^a X^VtoJaI rice kutter >APER JUH!? A%t rowELS "u ! ?# 'rice kutter ^ |^F W~ *IW.ii It riSSUE 4R0LLPKG W (r f RICE \ BUY ONE GET ONE IN AVENUE 3501 S. MAIN STREET 1-7 SUNOAY 8-9 DAILY, 12-6 SUNDAY All Shop Rite Stores Are Approved USDA Food Stamps Stores