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FORUM" The Big One That Got Away : Gone But Not Forgotten .This week marks the seventh year since our Daddy gotaway from Uo; October 22, 1987 at 3:44 a.m. brother Tony and I were sitting on either side of his bed w hen he took his last gasp. 1 Those who have seen a loved one ravaged by leukemia must share the twisted sense of "relief and sorrowful delight" that we experienced when we heard the sound made when the final shutter of death went through his frail . and ransacked frame. ? Otherwise very high-strung and excitable people, we. including Mama, vvere relatively calm and composed on that cool fall morning because LIFT EVERY VOICE By WILLIAM H. TURNER / i Daddy had taken his demise so unruffled and with such dignity. When-Ave , went to the visitors lounge to tell Mama and the rest of the family gathered, few words were spent. We didn't have to say much because our big^amily of ten children -- plus the grand and great grandchildren - had shared countless words the<entire year preceding those eerie decisive moments. There was little else to say. Mama she said she saw it in our eyes. We took. jyprettv well as they say : Last weekend, while visiting home in the mountains of eastern Ken-' tucky ("Take care of your Mama and Granny, Billy!"), I called on his grave site for the fifty-fourth time since 1987. ' ' . The ftiost common epitaph on gravestones in Eastern Kentucky reads. "GoneJSut Not Forgotten." This expressipn is so commonplace that it rings with neither originality nor sincerity. When the handsome marker was placed, we left blank the space for a catch phrase oil his tombstone because we could not settle for anything as banal and as ordinary as as trite as "Gone, but not forgotten." (bur Daddy deserved something more profound and more pehetrating and more philosophical than "Gone but not forgot ten". Tinie would heal our wounded spirit^ and give us the chance to thii'ik of something profound, something regal and benefitting this our Shining Prince. ' ..... j . 1 In the meanwhile, our baby brother. Jeff, had a man catching a fish v etched in the granite. Now that was the picture of Daddy! Fishing. Rod bent and line taunt. Straight out of Field and Stream. Our friends tell us that the man catching the fish on Daddy's tombstone is distinct and extraordinary. ^BulVlhal blank spacc Ts still thereT a constant reminder that something is missing in QUI lives: "Gone, but not fprgnttpn " Truth he tnlH hmvnvpr it \k William Earl Turner (1917-1987) . "Gone But Not Forgotten" not such a superficial cliche after all. Boy! Do we miss him. We think about him every day. v . ? ??. For example, when nothing else works. 4 invoke Daddy's name and honor when I wish tb have my children take me seriously. With my oldest boy. 1 remind him that he is named WitliaTTT in" Daddy* s Tibnor. not for me! Me0 Re lilft? HaHik 1 ? ? - . ? ? ' v ?t - . r ? I Each conversation with a brother or sister embraces something we eas ily recall Daddy having said or done. A chat wjth Mama inevitably ends with some reference to "you remember the time your Daddy . . . (so and so)." ? ? ? I am glad that no one is in my car with me on those frequent occasions that I am literally talking with Daddy -- gaining his wise counsel ? on a challenge I might be haying in my marriage, with rpy children, in my rela tions with people, in my work, or especially when I am grappling with myself. 1 Relieve in the realness'of ancestor worship and communications with the dead. A lot of other people must too for how else would they justify putting "Gone but not forgotten" on tombstones. I therefore sincerely ; believe that Daddy hears me and his voice is surely the whisper in the wind. The dark mahogany hue of his skin is the same as the color of trees in the month of his death. And. the surest reason I will always love to fish is because when Daddy took me fishing as a boy, I was happiest. . Gone, but not forgotten. How can I forget this man? Unlike I do with ' my children, he never tried to be my pal. He had the guts to be my father! He has but one greaj son, and it was all seven of his boys. He often told us that we would never be men until he died! He enjoyed fatherhood and hung onto^it until the final moment. Although 1 was 42 when he died, he still called me "Billy." I called him Daddy. Not pad. Not Father. Daddy. Now in both my weakest and strongest moments, I find myself saying, "What would Daddy do?" "What would Daddy say?" He was always there for a hurting child or.for the widows of his fellow coal miners who preceded him in death. He gave them fish he caught. " He was a respecnui ana respected tnend to/ both those who were thought by many to be outright ruffians and to those who thought of them selves as the upright and reverent. The most exhalted testimony to his stand ing in our town was when equal numbers of black and white folk attended his last rites. For me, funny enough, the greatest testament to his influence in my life hits me^each morning when I apply Murray's Superior Hair Dressing Pbmade to my hair! .:.j< ? ' ? 1 Seven years have passed now. Along with my brothers and our kids this weekend we are meeting at home to go fishjng in Daddy's honor. I am going to offer my suggestion for what to put in the space on his tombstone. It should read: "The Big One That Got Away." Fishermen like Daddy often* recounted tales of the Big One . . . the one that go away! The stories of such I experiences get bigger with each recounting of the tale. Daddy gets Bigger ' and Bigger! ' -V. ; f OK we'll put "Gope but not Forgojtfn," too. Fori those favored enough to still have your Daddy, please go to him and hug him and do something special with him, before he is gone . * before -he gets away. ? ? -- --y ? ? _ ? ? ? ? - ? (William Turner is a regular freelance columnist for the Chronicle). - ? Mandela Requests Economic Support From African- Americans "To Black Americans I say thank you for your tremendous help toward the triumph we've experienced in South Africa. Without your lead and help 1 don't know how we would have made it Even when I was in prison, I knew what you were doing here and I'm here to say that the efforts of Blapk Americans were very important in helping us to the position we are today. That's why as a symbolic gesture, the first time that I did on this my fourth visit 10 ihcsLmted States since ivvu, was to go to ttie Cannan Baptist I ?? ? ' South African President Nelson Mandela. Church in "Harlem," said Nelson Mandela at a breakfast meeting at the Blair J-iouse on the last day of his triumphant visit to America; Speaking to a group of 15 senior editorial representatives from Amer ica's leading print media outlets. South Africa's first black president told the Black Press of America's representative that he wanted to get a direct mes sage of "Thanks" to ail" African Americans who "were concerned and com mitted to his progression from prisoner to president. The silver-haired symbol of hunian endurance said to blacks. "I feel a special identity with you." Looking tired some ot the time during the hour* and-a-half meeting, the 76-year-old leader's body moved. mightily and his eyes gained a sparkle and gleam when he talked about the good old daysjpf the "struggle." - I ask Black American's to join me again. But, this time we are seeking to eliminate poverty, hunger, unemployment and lack of education. - ? Nelson Mandela But, Mandela's struggle today is not for political ^ower but for~eco nomics. "I ask Black Americans to join me again. But, this time we are seeking to eliminate poverty, hunger, unemployment and lack of education. 4* Mandela told the Black Press. Many experts feel Mandela's government, and its goals, offer tremendous opportunities for African-American entre preneurs. Mandela said that he wants foreign investors to build houses, schools and medical facilities. His ambassador to the U.S., Harry Schwartz, reported to the group that South Africa's embassy receives a dozen dalls per day from people inquiring about investment opportunities. President Mandela reported that while he was in New. York he had met with David Rockerfeller and the Trade Council to discuss multi-national firms' investments. He, and Ambassador Schwartz, also pointed put that what they want most are major investors who will partner with black busi . nesses in South Africa to form companies there. A high-profile group of African Americans have made the largest investment since economic sanc tions ended. Blacks such as actor Danny Glover, publisher Earl Graves and basketball star Shaquille O'Neal are joining Pepsi International and black South African business people in a $15 million in a bottling venture. Mr. Mandela also reported that black former New York Mayor David Dinkins will invest in a building project in Johannesburg. Black Entertainment Television (BET) President Robert JohnsQn presented Mr. Mandela a check for $50.000 while he was in the U.S. The check was the second installment of a SI 00.000 donation to help Mandela's African National Congress (ANC) towfurther their voter education and rights programs. BET already broadcasts eighj hours of programming in South Africa via a television net work which has 500.000 subscribers. : ? - . ? In a White House meeting the week prior to Mandela's visit, the feder ally supported Overseas Private Investment Corporation announced the cre ation of two private equity funds, to finance U.S. businesses in South Africa. The funds will total more than $75 million and African -American entrepre neurs are expected to benefit heavily from these funds. The same is true of a SI 00 million venture capital fund announced by the Agencv for International Development (AID). Black U.S. Commerce BUSINESS EXCHANGE By WILLIAM REED Secretary Ron Brown is telling blacks, "The trade and investment opportu nities emerging in the new South Africa represent enormous potential for African American entrepreneurs." In the few months since he became the country's first democratically elected head. Mandela reports that he has moved toward a free-market pol icy that will cut government spending, taxes, debt and bloat. c He points out that investments in South Africa also help that region of Africa. "Black Americans have knowledge and skills we would like for you to share with South Africa," Mandela said to the Black Press representative. "We invite you to come and visit and if you like what you see, let your money stay for a while," President Mandela quipped. (William Reed is SSPA Director of Communications.) ? The Choice For Africah-Ameriicah News USPS 067910 617 N Liberty Street Win9tQp-S^lem. N C 27102 The Winston Salem Chronicle is pub lished every Thursday by the Winston- Salem Chronicle Publishing Co Inc. : The Winston Salem Chronicle was estab lished bp Ernest Pitt and Ndubisi Egemonye in 1974 The Chronicle Is a proud mtmbtr of: ? Audit Bureau of Circulation ? National Newspa pers Publishers Association ? North Carolina Press Association ? North Carolina Black Pub lishers Association ? inland Press Association National Advertising Representative Amalgamated PuWishf 'nc ? 45 West 45th St ? New Y ?><> Vv .xif ' [2*2) 869-5?; 'C How to R< 910-722-8624 ? 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