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FORUM Fill your jar with simple pleasures Nigel Alston Motivational Moments Yesterday is history. Tomorrow a mystery. Today is a gift That's why it's called the : present! -"Unknown A group of business stu dents were introduced to a bit of showmanship recently from an expert on time man agement. As the students watched, the teacher pulled out a one gallon, wide-mouthed Mason jar and placed it on the table in front of the class. "What does this have to do with business?" they won dered. Next, he produce 12 fist sizea rocks ana placed them one at a time into the jar. "Is this jar full?" he asked. The class responded with a resounding ,"yes." "Really," queried the teacher. Next he produced a bucket of gravel, dumped some of the gravel into the jar and shook it. The pieces of the gravel worked into the spaces between the big rocks. - "Is the jar full?" he asked again. "Probably not." "Good," said the expert, as he then produced a bucket of sand. He dumped the sand in the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once again that familiar question - "Is the jar full?" The Class is a little wiser now and emphatically responded, "no!" That s when the expert grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it into the jar until it was filled to the brim. "What is the point of this illustration," he asked? "The point is," said one of the bright students, "no mat ter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard, you can always fit some more things into it." > Of course, he missed the point entirely. I have missed it myself on too many occa sions. Maybe you have, too. What's the message for you and me? "If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all." How true! How can you be happy and focus on the important things. The "Steps to Happi ness" can provide an answer. Everybody, knows you can't be all things to all peo ple; you can't be all things at once; you can't do all things better than everyone else; your humanity is showing just like everyone else's So, you have to find out who you are, and be that. You have to decide what comes first, and do that. You have to discover your strengths, and use them. You have to learn not to compete with others. Because no one else is in the contest of "being you." Then, you Will have learned to accept your own uniqueness. You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions. You will have learned to live with your limi tations You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due. And you'll be a most vital mortal. Look at 1999 as a big Mason jar. You are in charge of what goes into the jar. What are the big rocks, in your life for the New Year? Is there a special project you want to complete? Do you want to spend more time with loved ones? Maybe you want to deepen your faith, increase ? your education or improve your .financial situation. Is there a cause you want to fight for? Do you want to teach or mentor others? Dare to believe that you are a wonderful, unique per son; that you are a once-in all-history event; that it's more than a right, it's your duty to be who you are; that life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish. And you'll be able to stay up on what used to get you down. Whatever your big rocks are, remember to put them in the jar first. When you do, you will be able to stay up on what used to get you down. Happy New Year! Nigel Alston is an execu tive with Integon Insurance and can be reached at PO Box 722, Winston-Salem, N.C. 27102 or e-mailed at nalston237@aol. com Another tale of two families V . - Guest Columnist fori Ofari Hutchinson t The New York Times, * Washington Post, and the Boston Globe in-feature sto ries on Dec. 23 claimed that gifts, and donations were pouring in to lyke Louis Udobi and Nkem Chukwu. In mid-December Nkem Chukwu gave birth to a phe nomenal eight babies in Houston. These newspapers and much of the major media were in a congratulatory pub lic mood in part because of the spectacular number of births. ' But in greater part because of their shame and embarrassment a year ago over the glaring difference in the coverage given to a white couple and a black couple who experienced multiple births. The press deluged the public with features, news reports and TV specials on the birth of septuplets to Bobbi and Ken McCaughey, a white, mid-income Iowa couple. . \ 1 The press dubbed it a "miracle birth." Corpora tions, major donors and indi viduals leaped over each to send them gifts, donations, and babycare products. Iowa's governor offered to build them a new house. Pres ident. Clinton called to con gratulate them and invite them to the White House. A tabloid weekly offered them $250,000 to tell their story. And dozens of persons vol unteered to provide round the clock assistance with the care 'of their babies. Meanwhile, several months earlier, the media ignored the birth of sextu plets to Jacqueline and Lin den Thompson, a low income, African American couple in Washington, D.C. This sparked protests of racism from many African Americans, and ^ national campaign to support the fam ily. Despite the media's glj?w?--. ing reports of contributions to the couple, these are the warning signs they still may not get the same media and public support as the McCaugheys. ? ? The press has speijt far more time debating t{& "ethics" of using ? fertility drugs, and of having multiple births than on the family's needs. ? , ? Many doctors blame the the couple for endangering the mother's life and reducing the chances of the babies, survival by refusing to abort some of the fetuses. ? The public pledges of support for the couple are just that pledges. Many potential contributors say they will wait to see how many of the babies survive before they give. ? Media reports make repeated assertions that the the couple have not been "open" to the press, have made no statements and given no interviews. ? The concern over the pos sible public underreaction to the couple's plight prompted Houston publisher Chido Nwangwu to appeal for help for the family. "We want to make certain that these children get the same kind of support as the McCaugheys got," Nwangwu said. , ? Chukwu and Udobi,- like the McCaugheys, need great support. It will cost an estimated $2 million to care for the mother and infants before they get out of the hospital. I'm making my donation toward their care. How many others will do the same? Donations and informa tion contact: USAfrica Children Sup port c/o The Chukwu Octuplets 8303 S.W. Freeway Suite 100 Houston, Texas 77074 713-270-5500 713-270-8131 (fax) ' children@usafricaonline.c om Earl Ofari Hutchinson is the author of The Crisis in Black and Black. His email address is ehuichi344@aol. com Photo by the Associated Press Ntcem Chukwu, accompanied by bar husband lykm Louis Odobi, loavo the hospital last week. Despite pledges, donations for the cou ple have been slow to come in, observers say. The Chronicle The Choice for African American News and Information Subscribe Today. Call:722-8624 ' i /instate Ywfre in good handn. Allstate Insurance Company 3911 University Parkway, Suite A Winston-Salem, NC 27106 ?" bus (336) /b9-3yil MOSE BELTON-BROWN, LUTCF FAX (336) 759-9192 Senior Account Agent LUTCF Fellow Premier Service Agent 24 Jfour a 2>ay Service WHOLESALE ' 'Sk 224 BERRIER AVENUE LEXINGTON, NORTH CAROLINA 27292 336-248-2157 Monday 11am til 7pm Tuesday 7am til 1pm K3 You discovered them at Doubletree. ^ ^ You'll love then at Club Hotel ^ by Doubletree. Mt-JAM You're probably ready for one - M\M right now. DOUBLETREE'S DREAM DEALS NAVE JOINED THE CLOD. Club Hotel by Doubletret continues the Doubletree tradition xith tMKRfMMI You get a terrific weekend rate, free continental breakfast for two, our complimentary chocolate chip cookies and your choice of check-out times. Rate 1s per room, per night based on double occupancy. Rate subject to change v/thout notice. Not applicable to groups. AdditTonal restrictions may apply. ~ "1: <? 111111111111 - I aw i=gg[ags) Partntri In our bw?1nets trnvtl r*?olut^or "\i ' v- . * Club Hotel by Doubletree Raleigh North < J 2815 Capital Boulevard. Raleigh. NC 27604 (919) 872-7666 The Chronicle : The Choice for African American Nuvs USM 067910 617 N. Liberty Street Winston-Salem, NC 27101 The Chronicle was established by Ernest Pitt and Ndu bisi Egemonye in 1974, and is published every Thursday by The Chronicle Publishing Co., Inc. The Chronicle is a proud member of National Newspapers Publishers Association ? North Carolina Press Association ? North Caroina Black Publishers Association * Inland Press Association National Advertising Representative: Amalgamated Publishers, Inc., 45 West 45th Street, New York. NY 10036 212/869-5220 Postmaster send address changes to: ? THE CHRONICLE *PO BOX 1636 Winston-Salem. NC 27102 p Contact Us: phone number 336 / 722-8624 fa*. 336 / 723-9173 website oddress www.netunljmited.net/~wschron ernoiloddess wschron@netunlimited.net Sport* editor 723-8424 Sam Davis - Circulation 722-8424 vickie Warren Sofa* Staff 722-1421 Lexie Johnson Bttcct Cross James Mc<Arthijr Iuwmu Offiro Mick a Asm rv Pai i.ette Lewis Copy editor James Franklin Jr. fibihtfai A. n. Wright "" LtWSie Attvcks ? ?1 The.Chronicle IVOhHtarjbr ^*?4mnw Htma m* tofhmmm ? HoIvie Delivery Subscription Order . ? YES, Please send me The Chronicle ? 2 years: $40.95 9" of ( owmv/shic ? 1 year: $30.72 35 72 ? 6 months: $20.48 * "?? ? ^ 3 mos- 1>.24 Vamc t Aekkea __ . . __ _ i ? ? VISA ? Mastercard ? American Express ? Check enclosed ? Please bill me v j ? ' \ Aeetnml Niember - i Ex/mutton Pale Signature Send to: The Chronick, P.O.Box 1636. Winston-Salem. NC 27102
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