FORUM
'Big for a
Nigel Alston
Motivational
Moments
"Real joy comes not from ease or
riches or from the praise of men, hut
from doing something worthwhile."
Sir Wilfred Grenfell
Vincent is looking for a Big
Brother. The 10-year-old is a rising
fifth-grader at North Hills Elemen
tary School. After spending a half
day with him, he almost had one
me. He's a little shy. He has to be
reminded to look people in the eye
when he is shaking their hand or
speaking to them. But he has a
Magic Johnson smile and a very
good memory.
1 was invited to participate in
"Big for a Day," a recruitment pro
gram held by Big Brothers/Big Sis
ters to draw attention to the organi
zation's need for volunteers to serve
as Big Brothers and Big Sisters the
children in need of a role model.
Many of the children are from
single-parent homes or are being
raised by a grandparent. More than
140 children share Vincent's plight.
They are waiting for an adult to vol
unteer to spend time with them and
take them places.
But most of them just want
someone to talk to. A relationship
with a mentor could make the differ
ence in their young lives the organi
zation says
Vincent wants a Big Brother for
the most boyish of reasons "1 have
three sisters" he said, bluntly. His
younger sister sometimes paints a
mustard mustache on his face when
he is sleeping, he adds To whom
does a boy turn to in a crisis like that?
"Big lor a Day" was intended to
prov ide an "inside view " of what it's
like to he a Big Brother or Big Sister.
I had an advantage going in as a
board member of the United Way,
which provides some funding to the
organization. 1 also have been a Big
Brother.
The "Bigs" were to take the "Lit
tles" to work. The "Littles" were to
observe us "in the real world."
Vincent immediately won the
hearts of the people with whom I
work. They thought he looked sharp
in his spit-shined wing tips, neatly
pressed pants and green paisley but
loned-up shirt.
Math is his favorite subject, but
he doesn't much like the uniforms
that students are required to wear.
He plays the piano. His grandmoth
er taught him, and his favorite song is
"Lean On Me."
"What are you doing this sum
mer?" was the most often asked
question. "I'm going to Tennessee
with my grandmother," he replied
every time.
We visited Winston Salem State
University and talked with one of
the DJs on the campus's public-radio
station. The DJ gave him a "shout
out" on the air later that day. After
ward, we went to a bookstore where
he picked out a book about Malcolm
X.
"Why do you like Malcolm X?" I
asked.
"Because he was a African
American black hero," he said.
"He stood up for the rights of black
people. 1 like that."
We returned to my office, where
he greeted everyone at a lunch meet
ing 1 hosted. He even volunteered to
escort a woman who had to leave
early to the lobby. I was impressed
and she was too.
It was tough hanging out with
him. though. We talked about sports,
his family and his summer plans. I
dreaded the question I knew would
come sooner or later: "Are you going
to be a Big Brother?"
I imagine that question was
asked about 140 times by the youths
on the list waiting for a "Big." 1
answered it with the skill of a politi
cian. explaining I had been a Big
Brother several years ago. He
reminded me to give him my phone
number, as 1 had promised, so that
he can call me when he wants to talk.
I'm sure the other "Bigs" had
similar experiences.
Talking about a waiting list is one
thing. Meeting a kid on the list and
spending time with him is another.
There are more than 140 real chil
dren. like Vincent, on a real waiting
list, waiting for a real mentor.
A media event to gain more visi
bility and an "inside view" turned
into something more. It reminded me
of the power of a littltf boy's desire.
And the power that aroadult mentor
holds.
Nigel Alston is a radio talk slum
liost, columnist and motivational
speaker. Visit his Web site at
wmv.motivationalmoments.eom.
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Race
I
Armstrong
Williams
_
Guest
Columnist
Much of the tension regarding
skin pigmentation in this country is
rooted in the cultural patterns that
slavery wrought. It has to do with the
not-so-subtle social hierarchies that a
shared history of slavery created.
These cultural divisions were sewn so
deep into our social fabric, for so long,
that even today white Americans have
trouble imagining themselves as the
"other" skin tplor.
ror mucn 01 me past lour
decades, our government has con
sciously attempted to undo these
racial hierarchies and to create a coun
try not of blacks and whites, but of
humans. To this end, the government
has backed several civil rights mea
sures aimed at engineering equality
between white Americans and their
former slaves. The justification for this
civil rights legislation was straightfor
ward: minorities are owed affirmative
action and preferential quotas so as to
rectify the overt discrimination of the
past.
There is little doubt that these
measures helped haul along race rela
tions in this country. Just one thing:
the emphasis of much of this civil
rights legislation is on retribution,
rather than conventional social
activism. The major implication: blind
obedience to the original civil rights
legislation might ultimately create a
culture of victimization that never
moves beyond those initial steps.
Four decades later, it is time to
take a hard look at race relations in
this country, and to reconsider
whether embracing victim status for
all members of a fixed group in this
case, minorities will truly help thte
country to truly move beyond race. To
this end, we should be willing to do
what so many of our cultural torch
bearers are afraid to do examine our
civil rights laws from a critical per
spective so as to ensure that they do
not ultimately become a straightjack
et.
One of the first things we must
address is school busing. Clearly, this
program has not worked as it was
intended. It has little or no effect on
ending racism. How can we expect a
child who is bused from a poor, urban
area to a school in another, better
neighborhood to learn how to over
come racism when the child may face
it from more advantaged kids who are
not bused in from poor districts? The
school districts, while their hearts
might be in the right place as they try
to provide opportunity for the best
education, may unknowingly be con
tributing to racism in their schools.
When these children are sent home at
the end of the day, they face racism in
their back yards, in their streets, all
around them. They may be witness to
a new segregation.
Busing allows school districts to
work around the problems of the
inner cities, not solve them. It is an
admission that nothing can be done to
improve the quality of inner-city
schools. It further fuels the argument
that urban area schools simply cannot
be competitive enough to attract stu
dents in their own districts. We should
be more concerned with the quality of
our public schools, regardless of their
location. Our tax dollars pay for them,
yet many of us are not concerned
enough with what goes on in them.
Are we simply admitting our failure
and accepting the idea that nothing
can be done to improve our schools?
We should be building each other up
rather than bringing each other down
in our attempt to level the playing
field. But what else can be done?
we can nave our children spend
time with those of other races and
backgrounds, exposing them to other
cultures so that they can interact with
each other as equals and see that they
are more alike than not. The key is to
start them off-early, before they are
influenced by stereotypes.
Sleep-overs, vacations and parties
are some of the ways to maintain
close contact between children. Envi
ronments where they are all treated
fairly, impartially and without favor
will instill in them a sense of equality
which they will hopefully carry with
them throughout their lives.
Adults cannot be allowed to pass
on their racism to their sons and
daughters. They, too. must put aside
their personal prejudices, which limit
them and their children, breeding con
tempt and discrimination. Let young
people learn for themselves how other
people live, how they act and how to
treat those who are not like them. Let
people think for themselves and make
up their own minds how to live their
lives.
There are those who wish to main
tain their heritage and their individual
and group identities. There is nothing
wrong with that, as long as it does not
lead to persecution of those outside of
your group. A healthy pride in ones
history is a good thing, but not when
it starts to impede the rights of others.
This brings us to affirmative
action. We have heard the argument
that minorities cannot get ahead with
out the assistance that affirmative
action gives them, because America
has not changed much since the days
of slavery and of segregation. But
America has changed a lot since those
dark days.
What has happened since the
1960s and the Civil Rights Act is that
programs that were designed to give
oppressed groups a helping hand as a
means of getting ahead have become
ends in themselves.
Yet we must address the reason
why people believe otherwise. Their
perceptions are just as important as
the truth. People see and believe what
they want. We have to ask ourselves
why are they not getting the message?
Perhaps we are not explaining it
the right way, and if we cannot
explain it well, 4t may well be we do
not fully understand it ourselves.
These are just a few ideas on mov
ing beyond race; there are many more.
I don't claim to have all the answers,
but the solutions laid out above are
steps in the right direction. Working
together, honestly and in good faith,
will bring us closer to our goal.
www.armstrongwilliams.com
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Queen Set
Caucus supports HIV!AIDS bill
Val Atkinson
Jones
Street
Representative Thomas Wright
(D-Wilmington) has sponsored a
House bill (Bill 1405) to increase
funding for HIV/AIDS prevention
efforts and to direct the N.C.
Department of Health and Human
Services to study programs relating
to HIV/AIDS prevention and care.
Co-sponsoring the HIV/AIDS bill
on the House side are Reps. Adams.
Blue. Bonner. Boyd-Mclntyre, Cun
ningham, Earle, Fitch, Hall, Hunter.
McAllister, Michaux, Oldham,
Wainwright and Womble. North
Carolina's Arrican-Amcrican popu
lation is disproportionately affected
by HIV/AIDS.
It has been well documented that
the General Assembly has its bud
getary hands full this session.
There's the budget shortfall left by
the previous administration, and
there are growing needs in evety sec
tor of the biennial budget. Teachers
want raises, state employees want
raisgs, the university system and
community college system need to
stay afloat, and something definitely
needs to be done about our over
crowded K-12 system. Where will all
the money come front for these
needs? O
And if these needs aren't met.
can we really turn our attention to
HIV/AIDS? Of course we can.
House Bill 1405 is asking that previ
ously appropriated funds be allocat
ed toward HIV/AIDS prevention.
This is not asking too much.
HIV/AIDS is not our neighbor's
problem, it's not a foreign problem
and it's not a problem defined by
anti-social behavior. HIV/AIDS is
an American crisis, and HIV/AIDS
is a N.C. crisis. North Carolina's
African-American community is
one of the leading communities in
the country in need of protection
from and prevention of HIV/AIDS.
Rep. Wright and the other Black
Caucus members should be com
mended for their audacious
approach to this menace to our
community. North Carolina's
? V ?
African-American community
(along with other communities) has
withstood droughts, hurricanes.
Hoods, pests, and now we have
HIV/AIDS. This too shall pass, but
in the meantime, we need a little help
from our friends. Our friends in this
case are those good souls in the N.C.
General Assembly. We need support
for House Bill 1405.
I would suggest that calls to your
representative and senator would
not be out of hand at this time.
You've already done your part to
support them by getting them elect
ed. And now it's time for them to
repay you by passing this critieally
important bill. House Bill 1405.
You may reach Val at: Vat A thin
sanfa Prodigy. Net.
GOODNIGHT f
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