Photos by Lay la Farmer
Donna Mabe Brunson with her family: husband, Mark; son, Jason; and stepson, Benjamin.
Healing Broken Hearts
Women use their own tragedies to help others
BY LAYLA FARMER
THE CHRONICLE
It's a parent's worse night
mare - losing a child. But losing
a child in a sudden and violent
manner can be even more devas
tating.
"When somebody takes your
loved one, it's just different,"
said Paula Hawkins, whose 19
year-old son Jonathan was mur
dered in 2006 in what police
have told her was a "robbery
gone wrong." He was robbed by
two acquaintances and shot in
the abdomen at point-blank
range, just three houses down
from the place where Hawkins
still resides.
"That's not to minimize any
body else's loss, but it's differ
ent."
In addition to the varied raw
emotions that accompany griev
ing, the families of murder vic
tims must grapple with the legal
system and try to make sense of
a tragedy that was intentionally
forced upon them. Jonathan's
alleged assailants are still await
ing trial, his mother says.
"This death has caused ...
sickness, spiritually, physically,
mentally," Hawkins related. "It
can be draining, and then deal
ing with the courts makes it
worse. To be honest, I would
have to say if it wasn't for God
... and my relationship with
Him, I would have lost my
mind."
The passing of time has
afforded Hawkins some healing,
she says, but she still encounters
many rough patches along the
way. Having lost her sister to a
long illness just three months
prior to her son's murder,
Hawkins and her family have
unfortunately seen grief from all
angles. She has made her peace
with her sister's death but to this
day, she says she cannot recon
cile the tragedy that was her
son's final chapter. It is a very
lonely feeling, she says.
Donna Mabe Brunson's 19
year-old daughter Ashley was
murdered by her estranged hus
band, Jeff Neil Garner, two
years ago.
"You want to scream, you
want to ? ooh! It hurts so bad.
It's never been such an excruci
ating hurt," she said of the expe
rience. "Someone who has not
been through that, they don't
understand."
The rage is overwhelming,
says Brunson.
"I used to be a very happy go
lucky person," she said. "I think
now I have a lot more anger.
I'm angry at him (Garner), but
sometimes I get angry with
God."
Brunson endured the agony
of witnessing her daughter's
brutal stabbing, which took
place in the home she shared
with her daughter and 20-month
old grandson. Brunson says she
fought to protect the teen, but
Paula Hawkins
was unable to subdue an enraged
Garner, who was sentenced to
life in prison for the crime last
spring.
"That is my giylt - that I
could not save my baby," she
related, tears welling in her eyes.
"I still have that guilt; I probably
will for a very long time."
Both Branson and Hawkins
participated in vigils for their
children put on by Vigils for
Healing, a local nonprofit that
hosts vigils in memory of local
murder victims at the scene of
the crime. Sensing the com
monality in their experiences.
Vigils' Co-Director Tracey
Maxwell introduced the two
women, who became fast
friends.
In talking about their own
grief, Hawkins and Brunson say
they found many common
threads.
"We laughed, we cried, we
showed each other pictures of
our children," Hawkins remem
bered. 1
Talking about their heartache
to someone who had been there
was helpful, both women say.
With the support of Vigils for
Healing, the two mothers are
now reaching out to others like
them with the inception of
Broken Hearts, Brighter Days, a
support group for women who
are mourning the murder of a
loved one. Housed in Green
Street Church, the bimonthly
gathering is open to women of
any, or no faith. The women say
they are hopeful that the group
will give others what they so
needed in their darkest hours - a
sympathetic, and knowing, ear -
and hope that brighter days will
someday come. w
I'm not 100 percent
(healed); I can promise you
that," Hawkins said. "But I
knew through helping other peo
ple, I could be healed too."
'Broken Hearts, Better
Days,' will hold meetings on the
second and fourth Tuesday of
every month, beginning August
26. Meetings will be from 7:00
8 JO p.m. at Green Street United
Methodist Church, 639 South
Green Street, Winston-Salem,
27101. Free, light refreshments
provided. Registration not
required unless you have special
needs.
For more information call
Paula Hawkins at 749-4691 or
go to www.vigilsforhealingx)rg.
News
Clips
A&T homecoming
applications available
Applications are now avail
able for the North Carolina
Agricultural and Technical
State University annual home
coming parade. The parade is
part of the university's home
coming activities and will be
held Saturday, Oct. 1 1 , at 8 a.m.
The cost for the parade is
$150 (non-refundable) and
includes one float or vehicle; a
walking unit; two horses; two
cycles; and, two go-carts.
The cost for an additional
entry is $75 based on the above
items and availability. All
applications must be turned in
by Wednesday, Sept. 24.
Parade application forms
can be secured at
http://www.ncatedu/~newsinfo/
homecoming/2008/ or from the
Office of Student
Development, located in
Murphy Hall, room 104.
For additional information
call 336-334-7792 or e-mail
osd@ncat.edu.
Book details slate's scenic
routes
The N.C. Department of
Transportation has released the
fourth edition of the N.C.
Scenic Byways Book, which
provides readers with detailed
maps, descriptions and photos
of the 51 routes NCDOT has
designated as N.C. Scenic
Byways.
Scenic Byways are intend
ed as alternative routes to tradi
tional interstates and highways.
Roads designated as Scenic
Byways portray the diverse
beauty, cultural and historical
aspects of North Carolina. They
take motorists through areas
such as the Blue Ridge
Mountains, the Outer Banks,
along historic trails and by
waterfalls.
Byways are listed accord
ing to their location in the
state's Mountain. Piedmont and
Coastal Plain regions. .This
year's book also contains infor
mation on four routes recently
designated as byways not
included in previous editions.
These routes include the
Aversaboro Battlefield Scenic
Byway, Cape Fear Historic
Byway, Pisgah Loop Scenic
Byway and U.S. 421 Scenic
Byway.
The book is free; however,
a $5 donation is requested to
offset the costs for future publi
cations and shipping.
To request your copy of the
N.C. Scenic Byways Book, go
to www.ncdot.org/~scenic.
Requests can also be made by
visiting www.ncdot.org then
clicking on "Contact Us" and
submitting a request, or by call
ing NCDOT's Customer
Service office at 1-877-DOT-4
YOU (1-877-368-4968).
West graduate completes
airman training
Air Force Airman 1st Class
Patrick M. Muckey has gradu
ated from basic military train
ing at Lackland Air Force Base,
San Antonio, Texas.
During the six weeks of
training,
the air
m a n
studied
the Air
Force
mission,
organi
zation ,
and mili
tary cus
toms and
courte
Muckey
sies; performed drill and cere
mony marches, and received
physical training, rifle marks
manship, field training exercis
es, and special training in
human relations.
In addition, airmen who
complete basic training earn
credits toward an associate
degree through the Community
College of the Air Force.
He is the son of Patricia
Parker of Lewisville and the
brother erf Maria Muckey of
Asheville
Muckey is a 2005 graduate
of West Forsyth Htgh School
Stephens makes Emory's
Dean's List
Katherine Stephens of
Winston Salem, the daughter of
Dr. Wayland Chad Stephens
and Dr. Jane Stephens, was
named to the Dean's List of
Emory College, the undergrad
uate, liberal arts college of
Emory University in Atlanta,
for the 2008 spring semester.
Students must be in the top
20 percent of Emory College or
have approximately a 3.859
grade point average or higher to
be named to the Dean's List.
Historic photos of kids on
display at Old Salem
"Lasting Expressions of
Childhood," an exhibit of 35
historical photographs, will be
on display through Sept. 21 in
the auditorium of Old Salem's
Frank L. Horton Museum
Center.
The exhibit is a project of
The Children's Museum at Old
Salem Museum and Gardens.
The photos are from the Old
Salem Collection and date back
as far as the 1870s. They
images of children taken here
in Winston-Salem, and as far
away as /Alaska and Oklahoma.
The Old Salem Children's
Museum will also offer a new
puppet show premiering Sept.
20 starring Herr Kater.
Admission to the exhibit is
free with a Children's Museum
or an Ail-In-One ticket. For
more information, call the
Visitor's Center at Old Salem,
at 336-721-7300, or visit
w w w.oldsalem .org .
Guy makes Dean's List
Courtney Guy has been
placed on the Dean's List at the
University of West Georgia
because of high scholastic
achievement during the past
semester.
She is the daughter of
Cheryl Guy and the grand
daughter of Mr. and Mrs. James
"Bunker Dee" Garner.
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