Zoel Hargraves
A Love Story That Involves Many
By Jeri Harvey
Post Staff Writer
This is a love story A love
story that involves not just
two, but many, people It's the
story of a man and his love
affair with life, the story of
people caring and sharing
their time, strength and love.
As far as Zoel Hargrave was
concerned, life was going a
long very well for him up until
last year. Nearing the comple
tion of 30 years service with
the US Postal Service, he was
making plans to retire within
a year or two. Esther, his
lovely bride of 20 years, was
going to quit the classroom
at the same-time and the two
of them were going to start on
the second phase of their lives
together with time to do all the
things there just hadn't been
enough time for so far. He
could devote more time to his
beloved fraternity, the Ome
gas; become more deeply in
volved in the community and
church activities; spend more
hours with the two beautiful
grand-daughters - maybe tra
vel a little. But fate had other
plans.
"One day last October I
noticed a lump on my right
thigh,” Zoel said. “I went to
see Dr. Grady Price, an or
thopedic specialist, and al
though all x-rays were nor
mal, we knew something was
wrong. He prescribed pills
which we thought would cause
the mass to chrystalize and go
away in a couple of months,
but nothing happened. Finally
Dr. Price suggested that we
make something happen and I
agreed to exploratory surge
ry. Well, when he told me the
date of the surgery it was a
few days before the Omega
dance and I wasn't having
none of that, so we reschedul
ed it for April 11 - Easter
Monday. They went in and
found a malignant tumor. Tis
sue sent to pathologists here
and at Columbia University in
New York came back labeled:
sarcoma tumor.
“Right away Dr. Price con
tacted Dr. William Enneking,
head of the Orthopedic Divi
sion of Shand’s Teaching Hos
pital at the University of
Florida in Gainsville, who is
considered the best in his
__ field. He agreed to handle my
case and Dr. Price made all
the necessary, arrangements,
incltfdirig living quarters near
the hospital for my wife. He is
one fine gentleman," Zoel ad
ded. “Before I left Charlotte,”
he went on, “I wrote a letter to
the Basilus of the Omega
Chapter in Gainsville, explain
ing that I would be in the
hospital there, with the hope
that a brother or two might
drop in to see me. When my
wife and I, my mother, Mrs.
Fannie Hargrave, and my
brother, James stepped off the
plane in trainsville, there were
two cars, chauffered by Ome
ga brothers, waiting to take us
and our luggage to the hotel.
They settled us in, left the
names and phone numbers of
other brothers to contact and
the whole time my wife and I
were there - 36 days - they saw
to it that we wanted for
nothing. They visited, called,
entertained us. chauffered us -
everything. And remember,
these were people I’d never
met before in my life. After
three days of tests," Zoel
continued, "Dr. Enneking pre
sented me with two options.
One, he could save the leg but
the chances were 50-50 that six
months later there would be
more cancerous tissue. Two,
he could amputate at the hip
and there’d be a 100 to 1
chance of complete recovery
with proper after-care and
treatment. My decision was
immediate - amputate."
Here Mrs Hargrave spoke
and said, “It was so strange
The morning before we saw
the doctor and Zoel was faced
with the decision, there was a
veritable deluge of cards,
gifts, letters, flowers and tele
grams from our friends back
hom^^V^hat^^^eeling of
ZOELHARGRAVES^^^^^
...An incredible personality
Deing surrounded and suppor
ted by the love that was being
directed our way.”
Zoel continued, “I'd made
up my mind before I left home
that if necessary, the leg could
go, but knowing so many
people cared seemed to make
it easier.” The operation went
well, everyone marveled at
his positive attitude and sta
mina, and things were looking
good. Then the day before he
wa' to leave the hospital, Zoel
fell, seriously damaging the
wound and resulting in an
additional 19 days in the hospi
tal.
The same positive attitude
prevailed during this set-back
and finally, one day, after
practicing in the privacy of his
room, Zoel was ready to “so
lo” down the hall on his
crutches. Mrs. Hargrave sha
ved him carefully, helped him
into pajamas and robe and
opened the door for him. The
hallway was full of patients
and visitors enjoying a post
dinner hour and Zoel, concious
that all eyes would be on him,
was determined to put on a
good show. Prdl&Oy'hCDUftmt
through the door and just as he
emerged into full view, his
pajama pants fell'down a
round his ankles. For a second
there was a stunned silence,
then someone yelled, “Streak
er,” and the whole place ex
ploded in laugher, led by - you
guessed it - Zoel.
“After a retreat into .my
room to re-group and re-rag, I
went back out and did my
number while they all applau
ded,” Zoel laughed.
uuDDea ine Mailman "be
cause of the stacks of mail he
received every day Zoel and
Mrs. Hargrave shared his
cards and gifts and their
strength with other patients
and family members, some of
whom were alone and friend
less, often without even faith
to sustain them. “It was like
one big family,” Mrs. Har
grave said, “We were all in
the same situation and we
supported each other and at
tempted to share our faith.”
Their arrival back in the
Queen City was made very
special through the efforts of
Clyde Brown - friend and
Omega brother - who led a
throng of well-wishers who
greeted them at the airport
with hugs, kisses, tears and a
sign that said "Welcome
Home Zoel.”
And the kindnesses contin
ue He must go to a clinic
twice a day to have his dress
ings changed and the Omegas
have taken this as their per
sonal project. Each morning
and afternoon two of them
drive Zoel and Mrs. Hargrave
to and from the clinic. While I
interviewed him Saturday,
Sterling Woodard and Bob
I
Carter, who is coordinator of
this effort, arrived to bring the
following week’s schedule and
see if there was anything they
r
could do. !
Later, when this phase of I
treatment is over and the L
chemo-theraphy begins, the
Men's Council of First; United
Presbyterian Church, where
the Hargraves belong, will
take over the transportation
chores
The Quettes and The Orbits
Social Club have done many
things to relieve Mrs. Har
grave of day to day chores so
she could devote more time to
the care of Zoel. "Former
co-workers, neighbors, church
members, everyone has been
just tremedous," she said
The future looks good," Zoel
declared. "We moved our re
tirement up a little and before
long we’ll start to do some of
those things we planned. As
soon as possible I’m taking
this lady here,’"and he pointed
to his smiling wife, “and we re
going to find us a Shangri-la
somewhere and there won’t be
no calling home or mess like
that and we’re going to have
ourselves one heck of a second
honeymoon.”
When the interview was o
ver and I took reluctant leave
of these two people, I conside
red the reasons why they are
so well loved. It’s because
they are “real.” There is no
pretense, no vanity, no super
ficiality - just two really nice
people.
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