fmtPBSZYtmBS V- Page 8A THE CHARLOTTE POST - Thursday, January 21, 1988 The Relatives Helping Families In The Charlotte Community By Lora Vanderhall Post Staff Writer "Children are the world's most valuable resource and It's best hope for the future," quoted John F. Kennedy. The youth of today are faced with problems and sit uations that sometimes cause them to runaway. These prob lems may be at home, in school or with friends but there is a place, right here in Charlotte, where children can go before they take to the streets. The Relatives is an emergency shelter providing a safe, legal, and responsible environment (1-14 days) for youth at risk un der age 18. TTie shelter is locat ed at 1100 East Boulevard and it is open to all youth under age 18. In 1974 the Social Planning Council of the United Communi ty Services formed an indepen dent study coihmittee to look into the problem of runaways and the community services available to them. The need for a facility for runaways was evi dent as a result of this survey. The Relatives was founded in September, 1974. It is the only licensed program in Mecklen burg County where runaways , abused, neglected, and other youth in crisis have direct ac cess to services 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The employees at Relatives consist of quelled full-time and relief staff. They have been trained to handle a large range of problems. Brian Capron, Program Service Director, said the problems usually come from three categories of families. "(1) Families with runaways due to physical or emotional abuse. (2) Those who are pushed out or homeless. (3) Mutual consent situations where the parent and child agree that there is a "time out" period needed." There are two professional counselors (one male, one female) on duty at all times. The relatives offer the child in crisis a responsible alternative. Young people may come on their own, with their family or con cerned others. Services are con- fldential and include individual and family counseling, referral and follow-up. Most clients are Mecklenburg County residents but services are avalilble to youngsters without regard to county or state residency. Their main objectives are: 'To serve as a responsible alterna tive to the streets, jail of other justice system involvement, both for at risk and other young people in crisis situations. To function as an advocate for the family, viewing the crisis as sig naling a family problem rather than as a problem with any one member of the family. To en courage the strengthening of family relationships and return the child to a responsible living situation." A young person is allowed to stay at The Relatives Initially for a "time out" period of 72 hours. Children are encouraged to make contact with their parents Immediately but they are not forced to do this. However, they are required to have contact with their parents within 72 hours of arrival. Parents may call any time to And out if their child is in the program. While in the program a youth has access to hot meals, clean clothing, shower facilities, coun seling service, 24 hour crisis line and a residential program. Tire house has nine bed spaces. The Relatives use Reality Therapy which teaches youth and family members how to take responsibility for their own ac tions. The therapy is based on the belief that people have four psychological needs that they go through life striving for: love, recognition, fun, and freedom. They have basic house rules such as no drugs, alcohol, sex or violence, doing a chore each day, attending a daily group meeting and being in by curfew. Realiz ing the need for greater supervi sion of younger children, those 13 and under are guided by slightly different rules. Follow-up is provided for three months for all youth and fami lies who desire it. This includes referrals to appropriate commu nity agencies, counseling ser vice for when a child returns home, and alternative place ment when needed. The Relatives have added a new dimension to their services called Project Safe Place. The Project is a network of trained business and community volun teers offering neighborhood sites to teens seeking help. Some of the Safe Place sites are cOnvlence stores, fire stations and grocer}' stores displaying Photo Uy Calvin Ferguson Venetria and Heather Davis' mother, Janice Davis, pins Martin Luther King Jr. souvenir buttons to her children's coats in prep aration for their participation in the Martin Luther King Jr. Day Parade held in Charlotte. The Relatives is a special place, with special people to help youth and their fanuiies through problems. Stratford the Safe Place symbol. Employ ees in these locations will be trained to help others in need. The Relatives Intend to increase the availbility of Safe Places throughout the community so that all troubled youth may have somewhere to turn to. Willie Stratford, Sr., co- chairman of the capital funds drive, says he became involved with the program because at an earlier age he was a runaway and he can empathize with these children. "Young people are our most Important product and anything we can do to pre vent them from running away, we should do. We are currently trying to raise funds to Insure that this service is always avail able. We need your help." The Relatives is a private, non profit corporation. It's operat ing funds come from individual contributions, government grants, churches, civic groups and corporations. For the past thirteen years they have operat ed out of a rented facility. Re cently, they purchased the mortage on the current site. The Relatives emergency shel ter Is available to all youth un der age 18, without regard to race, religion, or socio economic background. Helping Young Men Reach Their Goals Special To The Post By Marian Wright Eidelman Nobody knows better than an athlete that a key to reaching a goal is to avoid obstacles. That is why professional ath letes are the linchpin of an in novative new program In Virgin ia schools designed to help teenage young men reach their career goals by avoiding the huge obstacles of teen parent- ho^. The program, called Ath letes Coaching Teens (ACT 1) was created by the Virginia De partment of Mental Health, Mental Retardation and Sub stance Abuse Services. Sports stars like former pro fessional basketball player Bobby Dandrldge and All Ameri can football player Tim John son have come in person to the schools to provide visible role models for the young men. The program also recruits young athletes from the student body to help their young classmates to set and achieve their goals, whether their ambitions lie in sports or in medicine or law or business. The student leaders partici pate in six Initial training ses sions and then lead smaller workshop groups in which young men talk frankly about their responsibilities and their choices. Important Issues sur face, like the long term conse quences of fathering a baby too young: what it can do to that scholarship, that potential job, or those coUege plans. Program sponsors have found that even students who had dif ficulty speaking up can become ACT I helps young men fulfill their ambitions. more communicative in the company of peers who are- com fortable talking about their lives. Programs like ACT I are not a magic answer to the prob lems of our male teens. But they do make several Important steps in the right direction by: • Setting a Positive Tone In Working With Teenage Males. Too many of us have written off our teenage males as "Incorrigible." But people with first-hand experience working with teenage males disagree. We need a new approach to helping teenage young men. one that af firms their strengths. « Involving Many Parts of the Community in Helping Teenage Young Men. Teachers at Virgin ia Commonwealth University helped to develop the curricu lum, train and supervise leaders, and evaluate the program. The Richmond Community Services Board builds bridges to the community and tracks down needed resources. The Rich mond City Schools help identify student athletes and keep the program running. For more Information on ACT I, contact Tamara Stovall, DMHMRSAS Office of Preven tion, Promotion and Library Ser vices, P. O. box 1797, Fdchmond, VA 23214, 804-786-1530.