Thursday, Jul^ 27, 1989 - THE CHARLOTTE POST - Fa^SB
Who Needs Friends That Treat You Like An Enemy?
by G
Charles W. Faulkner
Dear Dr. Faulkner
Have you ever heard this prob-
■>^01 before? My so-called friends
w3£reat me like garbage. One of my
J;;3J^ends, whom I have known for
;;;j;^ears, now shows me disrespect.
»^'hls person used to respect me
”^3>ut, now, the opposite Is true.
^Eveiy time I visit her. she tells
^;;^e about something negative
»«JUiat she has told someone
"^bout me. Then she calls me
' "Tiames you wouldn't even call an
' enemy. She acts Impatient with
.'. me like she wants me to leave.
.^^.Yet, I have always been cour-
teous and have always treated
her like a friend. I'm afraid to
■visit her because she Is always
rude to me.
There was another so-called
friend who I really used to re
spect. EYen though I disagreed
with some of his Ideas, which I
thought were stupid, I never told
him ttiat I didn't agree with him.
I always treated him with re
spect. After a while, however, he
started doing little disrespectful
things like telling me that some
body else didn't like me. He even
started criticizing things I did.
Three times he took sides with
people who (he knew) had treat
ed me unfairly. Over a period of
18 months, he did many, many
negative things to me that one
would only do to an enemy. Yet, I
have never, never been rude or
disrespectful. What am I doing
wrong? Why do my friends act
like my enemy? Mr. K., Tampa,
Florida."
Dear Mr. K.:
They appear to be using you to
release their own frustrations.
In other words, when people
are aggravated by someone else,
they become frustrated and tend
to abuse another person. The
person they choose to abuse Is
usually someone who won't fight
back. Your so-called "friends"
are taking their frustrations out
on you because you won't fight
back. You won't challenge them.
You let them abuse you but you
continue to be nice to them. Be
cause you are nice, they think
that you are weak.
If It Is not necessary for you to
be ■with them, don't ever contact
them again. If you must contact
them, do so only when neces
sary. Be nice only when they are
nice, otherwise, act nonchalant
(do not be rude). Don't make any
sudden or drastic changes In
your beha'vlor, but If they Inquire
about your mildly different re
sponses, simply say that you are
unhappy. When they ask you the
reasons for your unhappiness,
tactfully tell them the truth. Be
honest and do not be surprised
If they attack you verbally (you
have been their emotional outlet
for a long time and they cannot
bear to lose your masochistic
tolerance). Try to get a mutually
respected friend to tactfully ex
plain the problem to them. Don't
be afraid to hurt them. The sud
den Jolt ■will do them good. After
all, they are enemies, not
friends.
w BEASLEY'S FUNERAL
T"' HOME
LONG * SON
-» MORTUARY
Mr. Robert H. Taylor, of 2403
Marlone Ave., Charlotte, NC -
died Juty 23, 1989, In Charlotte
Memorial Hospital. Ftineral ser-
■vlce ■will be 2:00 p.m. July 23,
1989 - at Union Chapel Baptist
Church, In Elizabeth City, NC.
Burial will be In church cemet
ery.
Survivors are his wife, Mrs.
Johnnie Christian Taylor of
Charlotte, NC; sons, Mr. Robert
Jerome Taylor, Mr. Michael Tay
lor, Mr. Darryl Taylor all of Jer
sey City, NJ; daughters, Mrs.
Robin Shaw of Atlantic City, NJ,
Ms. Vivian Taylor, Mrs. Virginia
Holland, Ms. Kitty Taylor ^ of
Jersey City, NJ; mother, Mrs.
Louise Taylor of Brooklyn, NY;
step-daughter, Mrs. Lenora
Brown of Charlotte, NC; 1 grand
son.
DEATH NOTICE
Kind's Funeral Home
Mrs. Lucille Dorthy Wright,
^ ■dled Jufy 15, 1989, In Mercy Hos-
il^.pital. Funeral service was held
July 20, at Zion Pilgrim Baptist
Church In Wilksbuig, SC.
t.1. Mr. Parrotte Wade, died Juty,
P'T989, In Chester County Hospl-
”;_tal. Funeral service was held
>.»July 19 at Zion Pilgrim Baptist
l::^Church.
^ Hr. Napoleon Craig, died
l^^tJuly 15, 1989, at his place of
iH.cresldence. FTineral service was
Shield July 21 at Mt. HopeweU
^" "Baptist Church, York Co.
Mrs. Kathleen Payne Harris,
k»,of3000 Morning Dr. died. Funer-
service was held at King's Fu-
t neral Home Chapel.
LONG AND SON
MORTUARY
Mr. Willie James Belk, died
™ July 15, 1989, In Charlotte Me
morial Hospital. Funeral service
was held July 22 at Mt. Moriah
Primitive Baptist Church.
Mr. Wmie Fetherson, 8r.,
died July 16, 1989, In VA Hospl-
; tal In Columbia, SC. Funeral
' service was held July 21 at Mar-
vln AME Zion Church In Wax-
» haw, NC.
BEASLEY'S FUNERAL
HOME
■ Mr. John Lewis Howie, 42, of
3515 Jonqult St. died July 11,
t"T989, in Charlotte Memorial
‘■'^Hospital. Funeral service was
r^”held at Beeisley's Funeral Chap-
el. Burial ■was In Beasley's Me-
''4;^ mortal Garden.
, Mr. Grant Little, Jr., of N.
>Davids(Xi St. died July 7, 1989, in
p yA Hospital (Salisbury, NC). Fu-
neral service was held In Beas-
> ley's Funeral Chapel. Burial was
I Tin Beasley's Memorial Gauden,
■ Mt.Holfy,NC.
Mrs. Minnie R. Price, of 1823
New Castle Rd. died July 13,
1969, In Mercy Hos{4tal. Funer
al service was held at StatevUle
r Presbyterian Church USA. Buri
al ■was In Plnewood Cemetery.
: Mr. Ural Covington, of 837 N.
; Wood Dr. died July 7, 1989, In
• Maryland General Hospital. Fu-
• neral service was held at Our
' Lady of Consolation. Burial was
; In Beatties Ford Memorial Gar-
; den.
: T Grace
^ Oontlnned Worn Fsge 3B.
'4, AME zlon Church will sponsor a
^ Fish Fry on Saturday, July 29th
from 11a.m. until 7 p.m.
4^, Sandwiches will cost $2 and
dinners will be $3.50.
The public Is Invited. The
church Is located at 1929 St.
Luke Street.
BIBLEWAY
The public.-Is In'vlted to the
Oakvlew Terrace Friendship Day
on Saturday, August 5th at
««Blbleway Ap>ostollc Church.
~ There will be gospel singing,
food and games for all to enjoy..
«—• Elder G. W. Pettlce Is the pas-
tmtm.
— tor.
Holly Farms
Gra(3e A
WHOLE
FRYERS
Prices in this ad good thru
Sunday, July 30, 1989.
Blue Grapes, White Or Red
SEEDLESS GRAPES
Plump Sweet Blueberries Pint
^Lb.
1.59 /
A
Deli Bonus Buy!!
Medium Cooked
ROAST BEEF/CORN
BEEF AND PASTRAMI
Lb.
“Good at deli/bakeries only.’
12/12
NATURAL
LIGHT
CANS
5.29
3.0
Gallo Rhine, Chab.
Blan., Pk. Chab.,
V. Rose, Red Rose,
Classic Blurg,
BlUsh
Large California Peaches
Or Nectarines/Your
Choice California Plums
Red Simka, Black Friar, Eldorado
2 LITER
CLASSIC
COKE
1.09
EXTRA LOW PRICES...EVERYDAY!!!
5 Oz. - Armour
VIENNA SAUSAGE
8E6F stock/
im
8 Oz. - Thousand Island/
French/Catalina
2 Liter - Assorted Flavors
CRUSH DRINKS
15 Oz. - Luck’s
KRAFT DRESSINGsJ_LP®'*I * ®EANS
3/$1
PORKl
&BEANS
10 Oz. - Cinnamon/Raisin Or
Blueberry/12 Oz. - Onion/Egg/
6 Ct. - Plain
LENDER’S BAGELS
28 Oz. - Frozen Fried
BANQUET CHICKEN
42 Oz. ■ 40* on II 20 Lb. - Dog Food
SURF DETERGENT I I CHATHAM CHUNK
13 Oz. - Prime Entree Or
Whitefish & Tuna Cat Food
FRISKIES
There is a Food Lion conveniently located near you:
i Route 2, Highway 51 - PINEVILLE; 7400 Plaza Road Ext. Park Plaza Shopping Center. University Place:
9229 Lawyers Road - MINT HILL; 4736 Kimmerly Glen Lane Kimmerly Glen Shopping Center;
3609 Matthews Mint Hill Road - MINT JHILL: 317 South Polk Street (US 521) - PINEVILLE
FOOD LION