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Clje Cljarlotte THURSDAY, JUNE 13, 1996 Lying is a part of living, study reveals By Sinie Chen THE ASSOCIATED PRESS CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. - “The check’s in the mail.” “No, you haven’t gained weight.” “I am not a crook.” We’ve all heard those fibs, and perhaps even told a few of our own. Lying is a part of every day life, and new studies by a University of Virginia psychologist confirm it. “Most people think lying is manipulative and exploitative,” psychology professor Bella DePaulo said. ‘There is still that element - lying for grades and promotions, et cetera. But those lies are not the most common ones.” More often, people lie to enhance their self esteem, to get others to like or respect them and to spare others' feelings, DePaulo said. “There usually has been an assumption that lying is this really awful behavior in pursuit of people’s materialistic and crass self-inter est,” she said. “It’s often really about feeling better about yourself.” The two studies, which appear in this mon th's Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, explore what kind of people lie and how often they do it, DePaulo and Deborah A. Kashy, an assis tant professor of psychology at Texas A&M University, analyzed journal entries of 77 stu dents at the University of Virginia and 70 res idents of Charlottesville. The 147 subjects recorded their social interactions every day for a week. By analyzing more than 1,500 lies, the researchers found that the undergraduates fibbed in one of every three interactions. The Charlottesville residents lied in one of every five interactions. Lies were categorized as self-centered - told to enhance the liar’s image or personal advan tage or avoid embarrassment - or altruistic, told to make someone else feel good. In general, people tell many more self-cen tered lies, such as “I am not a crook.” Women tell more altruistic lies to other women, such as. “You look great,” and “I agree with you.” DePaulo and Kashy found that the people most likely to lie are extroverted, often manipulative and care deeply about what oth ers think of them. Those who reported more satisfaction with the quality of their same- gender relationships told fewer lies overall, and the lies they did tell tended to be altruis tic. Because lying is an everyday process, people don't think minor lies are serious, don’t plan lies in advance and don’t worry too much about being caught, the research found. Margaret Farley, professor of Christian ethics at Yale University Divinity School, says all ethical systems traditionally condemn lying. “The prohibition is based on at least two premises: we can’t communicate with each other at all if we can’t count on truth-telling,” she said. “The second prohibition is that it can be coercive. If I’ve intentionally deceived you then I've coerced your choice. It’s called fraud sometimes.” But some lies are just part of ordinary dis course, “a sort of agreed-upon mode of con versing with people that we take with a grain of salt,” she said. “All of these things are a matter of degrees,” she said. Bill Tucker, a sales consultant at Dick Strauss Ford in Chesterfield County, says the automotive sales industry often gets a bum rap for being dishonest. “I don’t personally think we need to lie to make a sale,” Tucker said. “If a customer comes up to a purple car, I won’t try to push it on them even though it's been sitting there for 120 days and we need to get it off the lot. “I get lied to by customers more than we lie to them,” he said. “People trying to get more on their trade-in don’t reveal problems (with See LYING on page 10A LIFESTYLES Myrlie’s Mission m i ■* PHOTO/PAUL WILLIAMS III Myriie Evers-Williams said she knew being chair of the NAACP’s national board “was going to be a challenge.” She’s the third woman to hold the position. NAACP chief out to restore group’s stature By Tammie Tolbert THE CHARLOTTE POST Being in charge of the NAACP has been a joy and a challenge for Chairwoman Myriie Evers-Williams. “I procrastinated. running for this position until my late husband, Walter Williams, encouraged me to run for the chairmanship,” Williams said. Evers-Williams unseated longtime board chairman William Gibson of Columbia, S.C. by one vote. The second time, in February, it was by unanimous vote, capping a career of service to the civil rights organization that has been glorious and tragic. Evers-Williams’ first husband, Medgar Evers, was the Mississippi NAACP field secretary was gunned down on June 12, 1963 outside their home. Byron de la Beckwith, a known Ku Klux Klan sympathizer, was tried three times before being convicted of Evers’ murder in 1993. “I knew when I ran for this position, it was going to be a challenge,” Evers-Williams, 63, said. “I have been involved in the NAACP to some degree for over 40 years, but the whole motivation behind being involved in this capacity comes from the love of my first hus band, who gave his life fighting for justice and equality for our people.” Evers-Williams’ victory and high profile with NAACP has helped stabilize the organi zation, which has battled an image as an old- boy network where women are harassed and refused leadership roles. “I believe I came into this organization at a unique time and it is an honor,” she said. “There have only been two other women who have held the position of chairperson in the NAACP.” Running the NAACP isn’t easy, Evers- Williams said, and the job is made more diffi cult by traditionalists who figure a woman’s place is in support roles, not running the show. “It is not an easy job being a female heading a large organization,” she said. There are so many people who don't take you seriously, who feel you don’t have the temperment to do the job, the strength or the backbone. It is almost a constant thing of having to prove yourself. I’ve found that you have to have skin so thick that it doesn’t matter what people See MYRLIE on page 10A Home provides shelter for battered women By Tammie Tolbert THE CHARLOTTE POST Nearly one out of every three women is bat tered by an intimate companion. The Shelter for Battered Women, a division of United Family Services and the city of Charlotte, is in the forefront to help victims of domestic vio lence. “In 1986, the shelter and the city of Charlotte started the Domestic Violence Council,” shelter director Nancy Nicholson said. “This council has been instrumental in bringing together people who work with domestic violence cases. We are a model community response organization and we meet monthly to discuss what we are doing right or wrong to address the issue of domestic violence.” In addition to providing a safe place for women, shelter officials are looking to help fami lies visit vfith batterers in a safe, non-threaten ing environment. “Right now we reahze there is a need for visita tion centers for children and this is something the organization is working on,” Nicholson said. “A safe place for supervised visitation is impor tant because this is when batterers either strike again, try to run with the children or physically threaten their victims.” Ninety-five percent of victims in domestic vio lence are wonien. There are many reasons why women stay in abusive relationships. “Women stay in abusive realationships because they hope it will stop,” Nicholson said. “Usually their mate will tell them that it will never happen again and she wants to believe him. Other primary reasons include the woman may be financially dependent, especially if she has children, and she may fear for their fives.” Domestic violence can start at any time, Nicholson warns, and if left unchecked will esca late to serious injury and death. The best See DOMESTIC on page 16A Men kick old fashion to the curb More color, simpler fabrics make it easier By Tammie Tolbert THE CHARLOTTE POST photo/paul williams III wyndon Hibler a casual, out business look. No longer will simple blue, gray, or pin striped business suits get men a second look at the office. So, they have become concious about their clothes: casual and profession al. ^ “European and Italian suits are being worn by more men,” said Lendon Lewis, owner of London’s Menswear in Midtown Square mall. “The basic white Oxford shirt will always I have its place in corporate America, but it is running a tight race with shirts with colors like light blue and earth tone color.s like brown.” Pinstriped and colored shirts are also popular. Perry Ellis, Ralph Lauren, and John Stockton are popular names labels. “The three button, single-breasted suit is making a place for itself in the fashion market,” said Lewis. “It has become a stan dard suit.” Simple is the way to go with accessories. Stylish Shoes, ties, cuff-links, and belts are important items for men to have as a part of their wardrobe. Men are also wearing fabrics that are flexible and comfortable. “Wool crepe is a popular fabric for men,” Lewis said. “Suits and dress pants, and sports coats are made from this material.” On the flip side, men are laying aside their ties and Oxford shirts "" '' I after work for more contem porary styles designed by African Americans like Karl Kani, Tony Shellman of Mecca USA, and design ers hired by Phat Pharm and Def Comedy Jam founder Russell Simmons. “When look ing for clothes, we have prob lems in department stores,” said E m a n u.e 1 Choice, owner of Urban Essentials. “The colors, designs and styles of African American designers fit our needs.” Choice said the designers produce quality products comparable to that of Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger. “Kani is a designer in the industry and a lot of professional athletes support him because of the versatility and full cut of his clothes," Choice said. “He is the pioneer when it comes to designing clothes that are expressive of the African American culture.” This year's line for Kani, Mecca and Phat Farm stress the three C's of fashion - comfort, cut, and color. •'K'i t. j PHOTO/CHARLES CLARKSON Greg Howard sports Phat Pharm gear.
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June 13, 1996, edition 1
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