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LIFE
TH.URSDAY, APRIL 6, 2006
Section
Praise
kids
early,
often
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
NEW YORK-What do you
say when your kindei^artner
ties his shoe all by himself?
Or your toddler makes it to
the potty on time?
Or even when your baby
takes her first steps?
“Groodjob!”
It’s become the catch-all
compliment for ^today’s gener
ation of kids, and praise cer
tainly is important in building
children’s self-esteem and con
fidence, which helps in build
ing the rest of their character.
But Elizabeth Hartley-
Brewer, a British parenting
counselor and consultant,
says that more specific
praise—and, especially, gen
der-specific praise, would be
even more valuable to the
youngsters.
Boys don’t react as well to
gushing praise because
they’re imcomfortable with
anything that’s too emotional,
so they might tune out words
of support, Hartley-Brewer
says, whereas girls just soak
up glowing superlatives.
StiU, don’t lay it on too thick,
Hartley-Brewer advises.
“Girls like to please. The dan
ger for th4m is they take
everytiiing personally If par
ents look at their homework
over their shoulder and say,
‘Good job, that’s great,’ the
girls hear, Mom thinks I’m
great.’ It’s a temporary fix of
pleasure but could undermine
self-esteem because they’re
relying too much on others.”
Hartley-Brewer also recom
mends de-emphasizing perfec
tion, noting that might lead
girls to be overachievers —
which cmi cause other stress
es in their fives.
Since boys are more sensi
tive to the power struggle
between parents and children
and they mi^t view praise as
a parents’ tool of manipula
tion, compliments should be
very matter of fact so boys can
make the fink between their
own action and their parents’
reaction, she adds.
Hartley-Brewer, a social and
education policy adviser to the
British prime minister in the
1970s and ‘80s, wrote a pair of
new books, “Praising Girls
Well: 100 Tips for Parents and
Teachers” “Praising Boys
Well: 100 Tips for Parents and
Thachers,” both published by
DeCapo/Lifelong. She also co
founded, wrote and developed
“The Effective Parenting
Program,” the first U.K.
school-based program.
“The word I really love is
‘impress’ or "impressive,”’ says
Hartley-Brewer in a tele
phone interview from her
home in England. “It focuses
on what they’ve done. You’re
not judging the child, you’re
judging their work. Alwaj^
keep it simple. Wed said’ goes
far. Tb make it meaningful, be
specific.”
She suggests replacing
“good” with “clever,” “thought
ful,” ‘helpful” or “creative.”
Parents looking at their chil-
dr^’s paintings should take
note of the colors and stjde,
not only complimenting them
but also asking questions. An
insightful conversation coiild
emeige fiom a parent asking,
“What were you thinking
about while you were painting
this?” This helps turn the
focus back to the children and
what they’ve accomplished
instead of parents’ approval,
Hartley-Brewer explains.
Don’t be too wordy though.
The more words you use, the
more chance you leave for
misinterpretation, Hartley-
Please see PRAISE/3B
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION/MONTY RAMSEUR
Too sexy for TV
Explicit videos damage teens, UNC study finds
By Chens F. Hodges
cherisJ!odges®thecharlo!lepost£om
If there was any doubt
that too many sexually-
ejqjficit videos are dam
aging to teens, a new
study from UNC-Chapel
Hill removes it.
According to the study
teenagers between the
ages of 12-14 who use
media with high sexual
content are twice as like
ly to have sex by the time
they are 16 than Ihose
who use less.
“Unfortimately, the
OPINION
media aren’t the best sex
educators. The media
tend to leave out the cru-
ciai three C’s: commit
ment, contraception and
consequences,” said Jane
Brown, the principal
investigator on the study
and UNC journalism
Findings fixDm the
study include:
• White teens who had
a high sexual media diet
when they were 12 to 14
were more lhan twice as
likely as those with less
exposure to have sexual
intercourse two years
later. The relationship
was not as stroi^ for
black teens as it was for
whites.
• Both black and white
teens who reported that
their parents didn’t want
them to have sex were
less likely to have
eng^ed in sexual inter
course by the time they
were 16 than those who
perceived less parent dis
approval.
“Ibens are defaultii^ to
mtertainment for sexual
information because they
aren’t getting tiiis infor
mation in other places,”
Brown said.
According to the
National Institute on
Media and the Family
an organization examin-
ir^ the impact of elec
tronic media on families,
children between the
ages of 2 and 17 watch
almost 25 hours of tele
vision per week and one
in five watdi more than
Please see TEENS/2B
Former BET video host shows hypocrisy
By Chens’ F. Hodges
chemJuxiges’Srliecharlortepostj'om
Hypocrite, thy name is AJ
Calloway
In a recent talk with students at
South Carolina State University the
former co-host of BETs “106 &
Park” blasted the video show he
hosted for five years. 'The Associated
Press quoted Calloway as saying “I
couldn’t watch my own show with
my niece on my lap.?
He went on to say “I felt like I was
hurting us by doing what I was
doing.”
But Calloway did it for five years
and according to fiiends of mine who
saw his last show, Calloway cried
fike a, well, you know.
So now all of a sudden, he has
grown a conscience? Give me a
break. Now I could see if all of a sud-
dai the videos that BET showed had
gotten raunchy, but that’s not the
case. And while he was host of the
show, Calloway lauded the rappers
andR&B singers when they brought
their “new joints” to the screen.
His sudden concern and the effects
of the smut he promoted for five
years rings false. Now that he’s not
getting a paycheck fi'om BET, he
feels he can criticize it?
Maybe he should have asked some
of the stars that he interviewed over
the past five years why they fdt the
need to sex it up on screen. Maybe
he should have asked the program
mers at BET if it was really appro
priate to show a video with a woman
wearily only pasties before 10 p.m.
His so-called concern now is too lit
tle too late. Especially when he told
the audience, according
AILhiphop.com, “There’s nothir^ fike
‘106 & Park,’ itis been a staple in the
Afiican American commimity for a
lor^, long time. Five years strong
and hopefully it will continue with
whoever’s in the reigns without
Please see FORMER/2B
mo
At Jumper Classic, it’s OK to horse around
By Chens F. Hodges
cherisJiodges®ihediartanepost.com
There’ll be a lot of horse
power at the Charlotte
Bobcats Arena this week
end, and you won’t have to
lift a hood to see it.
More than 200 horses will
compete Friday Saturday
apd Sunday at the
Charlotte Jumper Classic,
the Carofinas’ premier
equestrian event. The
three-day Grand- Prix show
jumping event features 10
classes of competition and
more than 80 of the world’s
best riders vying for
$300,000 in prize money
Horses and riders will
team to navigate an obsta
cle coiu^e of 15-20 fences
set on a twisting, tiurung
course without dropping a
rail or dismovmting. Net
proceeds benefit the
Presbyterian Hemby
Children’s Hospital.
In addition to the horse
show, there will be enter
tainment for the entire fam
ily
Some of the world’s best
Charlotte Jumper Classic.
The competition kicks off
Friday at 6 p.m. with the
E.E. Waddell High School
JROTC Color Guard pre
senting the colors along
with a performance of the
national anthem by Samuel
Hererra. Between classes
on Friday night, Cynthia
Payne, an accomplished
dressage competitor will
treat fans to a performance
PHOTO/CHARLOTTE BOBCATS
equestrians wlli compete for more than $300,000 at the
to 1970s and ‘80s music
atop her horse Laredo.
Saturday is Presbyterian
Hospital Kids Pun Day The
afternoon session begins at
1 p.m. with members of the
Buffalo Soldiers presenting
the colors and gospel group
Serenity performing the
national anthem. Between
competitions, kids can par
ticipate in stick horse races.
get their faces painted,
have balloon animals made
and see magic acts through
out the concourse.
After the concliision of the
afternoon session, a free
horse and rider clinic will be
given. A rider and groom
will ejqalain how to care for
a horse, the different breeds
and personalities of a horse,
Please see IT’S/2B
Tk flhciiiafli teE)«en*
Hewer-' m fWofiMW Htaam
Silent killer
remains a
problem
Hypertension is the most com
mon primary diagnosis in
America.
For Afiican Americans, it is
more common, more severe,
develops at an earlier age and is
more likely to result in serious
complications! According to
Health, United States, hyperten
sion affects more than 40 percent
of Afiican-American males and
43 percent of Afiican-American
females over the age of 20. If
imcontroUed, it can result in kid
ney failure, heart attack, heart
failure or stroke.
They call it the “silent MLler.”
Hypertension is a medical term
for- “high blood pressure.” Blood
pressure indicates how hard the
heart is workir^ to pump blood
throughout the body. ' When
blood pressure is high the heart
must work extra hard to get the
job done! One of the reasons
hypertension is so dangerous is
because it often has no physical
symptoms. In other words, you
can’t alwaj^ feel it.
• What causes hypertension?
While there is a genetic predis
position to high blood pressure, ,
other contributing factors have
been identified. These include
access body weight, increased
salt intake, reduced physical
activity inadequate fimits, veg
etables and potassium in the
diet, stress and excess alcohol.
These are risk factors that can be
controlled by lifestyle charts
such as diet and exercise. In
addition, hypertension increases
with age with more than 1/2 of
people aged 60 - 69 years old and
3/4 of people over age 70 affected.
• How do you know when you
have hypertension?
Blood pressure is measured
using an instnmient called a
sphjgmo.nanometer. Most drug
stores have portable machines or
see your healthcare provider to
measure it for you. For adults,
current dassifications are as fol
lows; normal blood pressure -
less than 120/80 mm Hg pre
hypertension - 120-139 / 80-89;
and hypertension - more than
140/90. If you have diabetes or
kidney disease, blood pressure of
less than 130/80 is recommend
ed.
• How can it be treated?
With pre-hypertension, med
ication is not recommended but
you should adopt lifestyle
changes (such as diet and exer
cise) to prevent the development
of hypertension. If you have
hypertension, the goal of treat
ment is to ‘prevent’ heart and
kidney disease. Target blood
pressure of “less than 140/90”
has been shown to prevent these
complications. Lifestjie modifi
cations, such as weight loss, reg
ular physical activity reduction
in salt intake, a diet high in
fruits and vegetables, and
decreasing alcohol intake are
important. However, drug ther
apy is often required and two-
thirds of people will require more
than one drug to control their
blood pressure.
Remember... Blood pressure
control is key to the prevmtion of
heart disease, stroke and kidney
failure! If you are over age 20,
have your blood pressure
checked at least once a year. And
if you have hypertension, see a
healthcare provider immecfiately
By Kristy F. Woods, MD
For more infonnation about the
Maya Angelou Research Center on
Minority Health, visit
www.wfubmc^duJminorityhealth, or
call(336)713-7578.
Mi