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2B LIFE/ C^iatlotte $o«t Thursday, August 10, 2006 Summer cheats: Know the signs Continued from page 1B cheat. For a woman to cheat, she said it’s for emotion rea sons. If a spoTOse finds the signifi cant other is having an affair, Houston said there are five things he or she shouldn’t do: • Don’t put him Qier) out or leave him. yet. • Don’t tell the whole world about his infidelity • Don’t ignore his affair or pretend it’s not happening • Don’t confiont him with out the three P’s-proof, a plan and a purpose. • Don’t waste your time and energy on the other woman. “All marriages don’t have to end in divorce,” she said. Talking about and studying infidelity has become a way of life for the New York author and it aU started when she foimd out that her ex hus band was carrying on an affair of his own. Houston said that she was writing an article for Black Elegance magazine and had a recorder attached to the phone in her office to record her interviews. Her ex didn’t know that when he was talk ing on the phone to the^three other women that he’d been seeing that those cafis were being recorded. “This was not a situation that I thought I would find myself in,” she said. “We had the perfect marriage and there wasn’t a problem in our relationship.” Tb find out what was going on, Houston said she ran out to the nearest bookstore and purchased every book she could find on the subject of infidelity “There were about fovu books out there,” she said. But added that there is a lot more information that wcmen and men need about cheating that wasn’t on the market. That’s one of the reasons why Houston wrote her book, “Is He Cheatii^ on You? : 829 TfeUtale .Signs ” Th® book is only available online because Houston said you never know who the other woman is and she could be the cashier at the bookstore. Parents are more involved in kids’ college life Continued from page IB ly to add a separate check-in for parents, a separate finan- dal aid packet and informa tion on how to get involved on campus. A parent association was formed three yeare ago. This year, more than 70 per cent of freshmen anived with a parent in tow, Boulton said. Boughton said WestConn’s parent-embracing model is the “forward-thinking, healthy way” to handle the new burst in parent presence on campus. “This is no lor^r about, in the year 2006, whether or not parents should be involved m their children’s education. They are going to be. Having done so, it’s a matter of how you choose to deal with it as an institiition,” she said. Sharon Brennan, director of admissions at Southern Connectia.it State University said Southern also has added a parent program on financial aid and academic advisement dimng student placement exams. For an exam seating 200 students, about 60 par ents often stick around, Brennan said. Tlie school, however, is careful to arrange separate events for pai*ents and students to allow stu dents space during the first few days on campus. "If they are together, the kids are eonbarrassed and the parents will dominate,” Brennan said. Quinnipiac University added a one-hour parents program six years ago, Associate Dean of Students Cheryl Barnard said. Now, that has increased to an aft^- noon-long orientation. "Compared to other schools, that’s nothing,” she said. Brennan is concerned chil dren of hyper-involved par ents are at a serious disad vantage when they leave the nest. Aft^ 18 years with mom and dad hovering inches away, she believes students fail to develop basic safety skills, study and sleeping habits, negotiation skills, sharing skills and self reliance. "If you have a parent who has done all that, who is going to do that? Nobody” she said. Barnard described the phe nomenon as two-pronged: "Kids don’t know what to do with all this freedom, so fhe parent says, 1 still need to be involved.’" And in recent years, she has seen more than a few involved parents. "The number of parents who set up their (children’s) e- mail and passwords and reg ister tiiem is phenomenal,” she said. "I get e-mails on a daily basis fix>m parents using their student’s Quinnipiac e- mail.” "It’s a generation of parents that want the best for their children, and so they have done what they thov^t has been the best,” Barnard added. "But what they haven’t looked at is all the life lessons that their child has yet to learn because their par ent has been so involved in their life.” WestConn student Chris Wallace, 20, whose parents were founding members of the school’s parents assoda- tim, says he learned to navi gate school on his own. But when the East Haven resi dent arrived at school as a freshman, his paraits were there beside him. For two years, the Wallaces met joint ly with Chiis’ academic advis er to go over his course load. Even when his parents weren’t on campus, Wallace would have nightly chats with his mother about acade- micSj girls and his weekend plans. But his support system charged last year when his mother died of cancer. "It grew me up in a way I never wanted to grow up this way but it happened and I had to deal with it,” he said. For the first time, Wallace chose his own courses for the coming semester. He’s enrolled in German, a choice his father questioned, but, "We compromise now.” He’s even teaching his fiiends how to do their latm- dry "My fiiends didn’t know what a spin cycle was,” he said. Jim Wallace, Chris’ father, joined WestConn’s parent association early in Cluis’ fieshman year. Throi^i his wife’s battle with cancer, Jim Wallace said he found time to meet regularly with Chris’ professors to talk about Chris’ academic progress. Dress for success, not sweat Continued from page 1B in and out of air conditioning, so layering is important. A dress is easy to pair with a little card^an or soft jacket, as weU. as a little sweater \vrap that can roll up and go ri^t in your bag.” Rowley’s right that bare isn’t always best, especially in an office where attire should be respectful no matter what the weather is out side. A bonus: Many loose dresses will look good paired with leggings or tights this fall, capitalizing on what is already one of the hottest trends. • Thaha, latin singer and designer of Kmart’s Thalia Sodi Collection; A pretty camisole. “Being fiom Mexico, I know how to stay cool. I have mastered looking cool and still fashion able...The camisole is the basis. I need to feel fiesh, be loose and open, see the skin of my arms and cleavage to feel cool. You can wear a camisole with all different bottoms.” The appeal of camisoles on a hot day is easy • there’s not much to them. The appeal as work place apparel is easy too; they fit nicely undo" a jacket or cardigan - and that’s how you should wear them in the office. While lingerie looks have moved into ready-to-wear, your co workers shouldn’t see bra straps or a lot of lace. That said, a touch of lace or other embell ishment can be what sets a camisole apart- fiom a plain cotton tank top. Also, a camisole can give a pop of color to an otherwise neutral outfit. (Those neutral outi fits are good, though, because they’re so ver satile.) • Nicole Fischelis, fashion director of Macj^s East: Linen pantsuit. “I love linen, and I have a lot of minimalistic linens suit - pants, tops and open-shirt jackets. 'They’re very neutral and clean colors, brown, cream and gray I wear interesting jewelry with them. It’s what I feel really good in.” Don’t worry about the inevitable vmnkles that come with linen - make it part of a cool, casual look that’s still pulled tc^ther. Choose accessories that are little bit funky maybe chunky beads or metallic flat sandals. Anything that’s too tailored or refined will work against the vibe you’re trying to project. Brown, gray and even black can still be simi- mery enough in linen and they can give an outfit a former life because they certainly can be worn in September when a pastel will start "Parents have to be involved. You just can’t e}5)ect professors to take care of things like high school or grammar school teacherd. 'The professors are not goir^ to baby them,” he said. But while schools across the nation reach out to parents, baby boomer groups like College Parents of America, founded in 2003, continue to demand more. "Schools want parents to pay the bill, but don’t want them to be involved after that,” said College Parents of American President Jim Bojie. "If they have been effective parents for the first 18 years of their child’s life, they have helped get that child to the campus gates, it’s not realistic to expect them to financially, emotionally or int^ectually just turn away and say ‘see you in four years,’” he said. 'The group lobbies for better financial support for parents of college-age students, and works with colleges nation wide to beef up parent sup port networks in higher edu cation. "Smarter schools are set ting up parent associations, and plans and pi'ograms to effectively communicate with parents,” Boyle said. "For recruitment and retention of students, parents are part of the equation” Bojde admits, however, tiiat parental involvement must have limits. “They should cheer fix>m the sidelines, but they should stay out of the game,” he said. AmeriCare Health ‘‘Sugar Creek” Medkal center 121 W. Sugar Creek M. • 704-941-8020 “Now Open” “A New 3 Million Dollar Facility” (across the street from Mayfield Memorial Baptist Church) “On The Plaza” • 704-535-0400 1^ Milton, Road • Charlotte, NC 28215, “At The Park” • 704-399-2677 6023 Beatties Ford Road • Charlotte, NC 28216 Visit AmeriCare at either location For All Family Healthcare Needs ■ Accepting New Patients - “Appointments Not Necessary” , flT Comprehensive Healthcare You Need and Deserve: • State-of-che Art Pediatrics • Urgent Care * Internal Medicine • Minor Trauma • Industrial Medicine • Diagnostic- Center Dr. Fidelis Edosomwan Open Mon-Fri, 9am-7pm, Sat. 9am-5pm “For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thy wounds, saith the Lord." - Jeremiah 30:17 to clash with the scenery • Tbm Jxfiian, strategic director of trends at ad agency McCann Erickson; Lacoste polo shirt. “It’s acceptable for business. You can wear it with a chino or a h^tweight gray flannel trouser. You can wear it with a blazer or with out. The collar makes the difference.” T-shirts cross a casual line that’s not accept able in many business situations. What if a meeting is moved at the last minute to a limch at a swank restaurant? 'What if you’re called on to give a presentation to the bosses? A T- shirt isn’t going to cut it. A polo shirt can carry you through both - just make sure there’s no stain left behind from last weekend’s barbe cue. • Cristina Ehrlich, celebrity stjdist - dients include Penelope Cruz, Jennifer Gainer and Demi Moore - and co-designer of Miss Davenporte: “I can’t live without cotton-hnen trousers. They’re comfortable, cool and diic while run ning around town. My absolute favorites are Dries 'Van Noten and J.Crew. 'The stjde is dressy enough to transition gracefully from cool and comfortable day to sleek and elegant ni^t.” Not having to go home between work and a dinner date is reason enough to wear hnen trousa:s. And by the end of the day, hcaiestly almost any fabric looks a bit rumpled. Since it’s expected with lin^, it seems a bit more acceptable. A tailored stjie also keeps the look fiom appearing too slouchy • Ah Fatourechi, creative director of Genetic Denim: Lightwei^t denim jeans. ‘It all goes back to fabric. You can’t escape denim, especially me because Tm in the denim business and Tm in LA. I wear a really l^ht fabric with flip-flops and a T-shirt. Very casu al. For denim, the fabric weight makes a dif ference - 8 1/4-oxmce fabric feels like linen.” Denim already is a stafde in almost every closet. The key is to have denim choices for dif- feent forecasts since it’s not a one-weight- suits-aU fabric. A denim that’s 6 or 8 ounces per square yard still looks like the denim used for jeans but isn’t heavy or stiff An ultralight 4-oimce denim is known as chambray and is moi*e commonly used for tops than bottoms, and 10-ounce or higher denim is the ri^t wei^t for fall or winter. -Say Yes To Success! “Dr. Arrington teaches you how to lead a healthy, balanced and successful life Dr. Carl Arrington, Director of Market Expansion What It Takes Sometimes it may seem that the most difficult step to getting on the path to success is deciding what it is that we really want out of life. But if we.really think about it, especially if we go back to our early years, we can usually remember some of the dreams that we had. During our childhood, it was easy to dream. It was not until we became older that we began to doubt the possibility of our dreams. Often people close to us began to discourage us in our dreaming. They would give us reasons why our dreams were not possible. Consequently, we began to believe that our dreams were unattainable. By now, if you have been reading this column for a while, you know that in order to really enjoy life, you must learn to dream again. No matter where you are in life, you- still have the opportunity to go after what you really want. However, discovering your dream may not be the most difficult part of getting on the road to success. The most difficult part of the journey comes after we have determined our dream. If we want our dreams to come true, the key is actually having the courage to pursue our dreams. We have to make the decision to take the actions that will make our dreams come true. No one else can do this for us. We can have the greatest ideas in the world. We may recognize wonderful opportunities that come our way, but if we do not step out and take action to go after them they will not come true. Whatever your dreams may be, do what you have to do to make them happen. This is what it really takes to make it along the road to success. But in fhe end, you will discover it was worth it. Be strong! Be courageous! You have what it takes. Learn to Stay on the Track to Success. Contact Dr. Arrington cla @ maximumsuccess.com Your Source for Total Life Success! Contact Dr. Anin^on for details 704-591-19S8 • cia(®maximumsuccess.com Maximum TotentiaC Inc... /Tapping into tfe 9o%uer of ffoul INFORMATION RF.OimST FOR MORE DETAILS « FAX: 704.S66-8704 Name Citv _Zip Code_ Work Phone Don’t Delay, Call Today!
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