THE CHOWANl/ J, CHOWAN COLLEGE, MURFREESBORO, N. C.
Thursday, January 17, 1924.
Glen Smith—Have you learned
your Franklin’s “Gettysburg Ad
dress?” We have to report on it to
Miss Robinson—In chemistry lab.
What is the formula for gasoline?
“Really,” gasped the automobilist,
bending over his victim, “really, I
didn’t hit you intentionally.”
“Aw, gon,” returned the fallen one
belligerently. Whatcher got that
bumper on year car for, if you don’t
aim to go running into people?”
“Willie,” asked the teacher, “what
was it Sir Walter Raleigh said when
he placed his cloak on the muddy road
for the beautiful queen to walk
Willie, the ultra-modern, gazed
about the class-room in dismay, and
then taking a long chance, replied:
“Step on it, kid!”
“What kind of auto have you?”
“An ‘Ash’ ”.
“What kind of car is an ‘Ash?’
Oh, a second hand ‘Coal’ ”.
Brown—I’m the most forgetful
man in the world.
Black—Why don’t you buy a fliv
Black—That will jog your mem
A city couple on a drive through
the country in the late aurtimn pulled
up beside a small orchard and helped
themselves to apples in large quanti
ties. The conscience bothering them
somewhat, however, they stopped in
front of the farmhouse which adjoin
ed the orchard and called to the
farmer who was on the front porch.
“We helped ourselves to your ap
ples,” said the woman. “Just thought
we’d tell you.”
“Oh, thats all right,” said the farm
er, “I helped myself to your tools
when you were in the orchard.”
The Sammy—Over in America we
gotta lilac bush fifty feet high.
The Tommy—I wish I could lilac
that.—Cassell’s Saturday Journal.
“What’ll you have?” asked the
“I’m not predicting,” replied the
weary citizen. “I’m going to order a
cup of strong coffee with fresh
cream and a steak underdone. Then
I’m going to eat what you bring me
and say no more.”—London Opinion.
Professor—This is the third time
you’ve looked on Jones’ paper.
Student—Yes, sir, he doesn’t write
The Wild Honker—Don’t you en
joy listening to the honk of the wild
“Not when he’s driving an auto
Some of the matrons of this com
munity went to see “The Good For
Nothing Husband” la.^t week. Cer
tain other married ladies didn’t have
“You say woman is happiest after
“Yes, she then has a husband or
isn’t going to get one. In either case
she is resigned.”
Frenchman—Ou, la, la! I enjoy
ze shoeball game so much!
Wop—You maka me laugh! Ha, ha,
“Make you laugh? Porquoi?”
“You say shoeball, ha, ha!”
“Such ignorance! Not shoeball—
feetball! — Georgia Tech. Yellow
Mrs. Kidless—I hear the Nurse
maids’ Union is on strike. What’s it
Mrs. Multikids—This time they’re
demanding taximeters on the babies’
The genius of a certain Arkansas
editor showed itself recently when he
printed the following news item in
the local columns of his paper:
“Miss Beulah Blank, a Batesville
belle of twenty summers, is visiting
her twin brother, age thirty-two”—
The teacher was giving the class a
lecture on “gravity.”
“Now, children,” she said, “it is the
law of gravity that keeps us on this
“But please, teacher,” inquired one
small child, “how did we stick on be
fore the law was passed?”—The Tat
AUo Like a Fish
Bella—Dick’s awful poetical. When
I accepted him he said he felt like an
immigrant entering a strange
Donna Well, go he was!
Bella—An immigrant, why?
Donna—Wasn’t he just ‘landed*—
Mr. Gassam—Yes, I suppose I can
claim to be a financial success, and
just think, I started business with a
Miss Green—Mercy! It’s genius!
A man who could get anybody to buy
one shoestring couldn’t help but suc
Somewhat, But Not Quite
A little fellow was learning from
his aunt about Grant, Lee, and other
famous leaders of the Civil War. “Is
that the same Grant we pray to in
church?” he inquired innocently.
“Pray to in church? You are mis
taken, dear,” said the aunt.
“No, I’m not,” he insisted, “for
during service we always say, ‘Grant’
we beseech Thee, to hear us.”—Bos
The Longer the Higher
“Agnes is looking as young as
“Yes, but she says it costs her
more every year.”—Boston Trans
IMAGINATION is the key which unlocks the door to opportunity. Our job today is to get ready for tomorrow.
Money is the trade token of labor. Labor is power—and power is good—when it is used with a thought of tomor
The man standing behind the door is the YOU of tomorrow. Who is he and what he is depends upon you and
Initiative is the individual need of today—it’s the word with four “IFs” in it. Put that word in tomorrow’s
tool box—and use it. It will get you somewhere.
Indifference—Doubt—Lack of Self Confidence—Want of Purpose—they all lead to defeat and make labor
drudgery and unprofitable.
A bank book is an important text book. Acquire one, filling its entry regularly even though in a small way, and
soon you will be able to grasp opportunities which will insure your tomorrow.
THE PEOPLES BANK
Murfreesboro, N. C.