Gay awareness
Drinking:
There is a way out.
by Barbara and Frances
An alcoholic is often stereotyped as a skid
row bum who has just spent his last buck on a
bottle of ripple wine. The fact is, alcoholism is
a progressively fatal disease that does not
discriminate between people of any special
culture, social class, sex or age. It is not a
moral weakness. Statistics show that one out
of every ten persons in the general population
are alcoholic. It is also estimated that one out
of every three, in the gay population, is
alcoholic.
There is no doubt that society’s antagonism
towards homosexuality leads many of us to
drink, in the bars or at home. But it is drinking
alcohol that causes alcoholism, not social
oppression. This is not to say that everyone
who drinks is an alcoholic. Alcohol affects
people differently. Some people can drink a
lot and not become alcoholic. Others have
become alcoholic after their first or second
drink.
A few of the warning signs are an increased
tolerance to alcohol, blackouts (alcohol
induced amnesia), sneaking or gulping drinks
and morning drinking. But, there is a way
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of
men and women who share their experience,
strength and hope with each other that they
may solve their common problem and help
others to recover from alcoholism. The only
requirement for membership is a desire to stop
drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA
membership; we are self-supporting through
our own contributions. AA is not allied with
any sect, denomination, politics, organization
or institution; does not wish to engage in any
controversy, neither endorses nor opposes
any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay
sober and help other alcoholics to achieve
sobriety.
Once you have accepted the first step of
Alcoholics Anonymous, you are on your way
to recovery and the sobriety you want more
than anything in your life. For many of us it
comes as a great and unbelievable relief that
we can stay sober for more than twenty-four
hours at a time. It is also a relief to find
ourselves welcome at AA meetings as people
who can get well if we really want to. A
miracle has happened to us, and one of the
happiest aspects of the miracle is the
friendships we begin to form with others who
also are recovering from the disease of
alcoholism. Many have commented on the
spirit of joy that is to be experienced at AA
meetings.
Gay AA meetings open the door to
freedom—freedom not only from alcoholism
but from burdens of self-loathing and guilt, as
well as tears of exposure and rejection. We
fully realize that an AA group with a
homosexual identity is not for every
homosexual alcoholic. However, some of us
need more. We need the fellowship and
example of men and women who have
achieved good, healthy gay sobriety. We find
happiness and feelings of complete acceptance
only in settings where dissimulation is not
required, and where one's homosexual
lifestyle can be affirmed in all honesty and
openness.
A gay AA group can be valuable to the
homosexual alcoholic in many ways. In
addition to the total freedom of honesty it
allows him or her, its benefits include social
contacts away from bar-oriented gay society,
information about helathy ways of living a
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gay life, Twelve Step work (carrying AA’s
message of hope to other suffering gay
alcoholics), and so forth. For us, it is a happier
and more wholesome habitat than the gay bar
or the closet. We can be our real selves like all
other AA members—airing our problems and
receiving support and advice from other who
have been down exactly the same road. We
learn to give and to accept love from others—
straight as well a& gay.
Most gay AA groups observe a “double
anonymity.” In the same way that we do not
reveal the identity of other AA members
outside AA, we do not reveal the identities of
fellow members of the gay groups even at
other AA meetings. This double
confidentiality allows many homosexuals to
attend the gay meetings who might otherwise
feel that they have to stay away.
In these groups, many of us learn, for the
first time, that it was our drunkenness and not
our homosexuality that turned people off. We
begin to discover that we can be as firendly
and selfless as we have often wished to be. We
develop genuine respect for ourselves as
human beings. We find that we can stop
copping out—on life, on sobriety, on
everything that we are and enjoy being—
including gay.
Some questions you may have about gay
groups of Alcoholics Anonymous:
Q. Am 1 an alcoholic because 1 am
homosexual?
A. No. We can discover no connection
between alcoholism, which is a disease, and
homosexuality, which for us is the natural
channel for our sexual feelings.
Q. Will 1 have to stop being gay to stop
drinking?
A. No. But you will have to start living the
kind of gay life that doesn’t get you drunk.
Q. What will meetings be like?
A. Those that we are familiar with are like all
other AA meetings—usually ten to thirty men
and women attend, their ages ranging from
early twenties to late sixties. The main
difference is that we are free to discuss our
alcoholism in terms of our homosexuality,
with total honesty.
Q. Will 1 have to answer a lot of questions?
A. No. We hope that you will ask questions,
however, and learn to listen to the answers.
Q. Is this really serious, or is it just a big
cruising game?
A. Gay alcoholics attend gay AA meetings for
the same life-and-death reasons that other
alcoholics go to theirs. Those who use
meetings for cruising are endangering their
own sobritey.
Q. What will happen to me if 1 think I am an
alcoholic but decide to continue drinking?
A. Probably incurable insanity, prison or
death.
Q. What if my lover does not think I am an
alcoholic and does not want me to get
involved in this?
A. Nobody but you can determine whether
you are an alcoholic or not. If drinking is
troublesome for you in any way you may well
be alcoholic. If you think you are, we suggest
that you come to meetings and try staying
sober for ninety days.
Q. Can I find a happy, healthy gay life when I
am sober?
A. All of us who have maintained sobriety
through AA have found a healthier, happier
life in every possible way. In gay AA groups—
as in regular AA groups—you need never be
alone again.
There is a Gay A A group in Raleigh. For
further information, call 847-6011.
(For information concerning other Gay A A
groups in the state, please consult the calendar
elsew here in this issue.)
St. lohn's Metropolitan
Community Church
Dixie Trail at Wade Ave., Raleigh
Telephone 787-1046
4 Years of Ministry especially to,
for and by Gays and Lesbians
Worship 3 pm Sundays
Rap Group 8 pm Thursdays
Spring Forum 8 pm June 13-14, 1980
Summer is
almost here!
Isn’t it about time you hit
the beach?
Come to Wilmington!
DAVID’S LOUNGE
Wilmington’s =1 Bar
Daily Except Tuesday
9PM— 1:30AM
The new back entrance is now open for
your convenience. Look for the grey door.
114 Market Street
Wilmington, North Carolina
(919) 763-8068
National Sales Representative
Joe DiSabato, Rivendell Marketing ^
P.O. Box A, Old Chelsea Station
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(212) 242-6863
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