Oh, My Stars!
Horoscope for the week of January 7, 2000 By C. Lichtenstein
rGet ready for a lunar eclipse in Leo this week and, two weeks from now, a solar eclipse in Aquarius.
Just as we saw in July and August, these eclipses goad us into emotional excesses and extremes.
This time however, we are in resolution mode; events triggered in the summer, conclude now, Ready?
You better believe it, kids!
^ ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 20)
' Fun may have its pitfalls and moral lessons this
week as the Leo eclipse shadows your every
move.Rainbow Rams should be extra careful of trampling the
feelings of friends during the eclipse-o-rama when their
frolicking romps jackboot through others’ territory and
sensibilities. A summer romance may return for another round.
Are you ready to climb into the ring, champ?
TAURUS (APRIL £1 - MAY 21)
Family issues that never quite resolved this summer rear their
ugly heads again during the winter eclipses. Proud Bulls have
the emotional task of balancing their needs with those of others.
Sometimes balance is unachievable and you're better off
making the difficult decision to go it alone. Hopefully that is not
the case here. Strive for balance but be prepared to be self
motivated.
GEMINI (MAY 22-JUNE 21)
Ever diplomatic gay Twins may find themselves more like the
blabber-mouth Sag when the winter eclipses wax and wane.
Arguments., er.. I mean "discussions" that rocked the summer
may pummel you during the next' two weeks. When your back
is against the wall, you have no other option than to talk your
way through it. Speak Out; it will have global implications.
CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 23)
When your wallet took a hit this past summer, you swore that
you wouldn't be taken for a wild spending fool ever again. Well
hang onto your hard earned dough during the winter eclipse,
proud Crab. The planets again tempt you to stave off feelings of
inadequacy with loose money. Don’t be swayed! It's time to find
new solutions to old problems. It's cheaper in the long run.
LEO (JULY 24 - AUGUST 23)
The lunar eclipse in your own sigrv can cast an emotional pall
on any new endeavor and veer you temporarily off track in a
cloud of depression. Same old story as the past summer when
the two eclipses bombarded you with obstacles of your own
making. Gay Lions should resolve to not to react but to wait,
wait, wait. Plan your course of action in two weeks when the fog
dissipates.
VIRGO (AUGUST 24 - SEPTEMBER 23)
If day to day work doesn't provide you with much satisfaction
now, chalk it up to the emotional energy generated by the
eclipses. Pink Virgos are looking for affirmation and a sense of
contributing to a higher goal but maybe that's more than you
should expect from just a job. Use this time to readjust your clock
and reassess priorities. Put yourself on top of the short list.
LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24 - OCTOBER 23)
Friends can either contribute or detract from the fun when the
pair of eclipses cast a shadow over group activities for the next
two weeks. Queer Libras love being the center of the social
circle but it may prove to be too much work and coordination
now to get things on track. Stay on the sidelines if you can,
cousin; I doubt whether the party will go on without you anyway.
SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 22)
Both the Leo and Aquarius eclipses may have you question
recent career decisions, but don't let the planets change your
course now. Strategic gay Scorps are clever enough to know
what is and is not right for them in the long term. If anything,
these eclipses will demonstrate that not only are you making the
right move, but it's about time you did so!
SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23 - DECEMBER 22)
If the words are not coming out just right or if you find yourself
less able to get your point across, take a breathe and allow the
two eclipses to pass quietly. Gay Archers love to travel but now
you may find that travel is too much trouble and wrought with
frustration. On the bright side, this transit may help to bring to
resolution any outstanding legal issue. Rest your case!
CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 20)
Can money buy happiness, affirmation and love? Queer Caps
may think so but the two winter eclipses may prove them wrong.
Before you splurge on nonsense, remember what happened
during the past August eclipses. This time you may be able to
see things in fuller perspective. There is a crazy rumor going
around that the best things in life are free. Follow up on it.
AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 19)
Aqueerians may be more emotional than usual during the
eclipses in Leo and in their own sign. What you thought was
rock solid now may appear to shift in the sand. Great ideas in
the planning stage may suddenly change course. The secret in
all of this is to go with the flow and not try to force things along.
Sometimes the path of least resistance leads to the greatest
triumphs.
PISCES (FEBRUARY 20 - MARCH 20)
While many rainbow Fish are anxious to give something back to
the community, the two winter eclipses may cause you to
reassess the direction of your good gay deeds. This is not a
bad thieng but don't let the emotional turmoil take you completely
out of the charitable arena. See what brings you the greatest
joy and take it one decibel up. Don’t lower the volume.
(c) 2000 LICHTENSTEIN, All Rights Reserved.
For Entertainment Purposes Only.
Ms. B . '
Continued from page 28
princess.” I love her, arid we talk about getting
married, but I cannot commit to anything long
term with her because I love sex and she is
making my sex life unbelievably unattractive,
boring, and one-sided.
I am sexually secure and aggressive. I am not
into what people think my role should be based
on how I dress. I love to give her head, love her
response, and love trying to improve our sexual
bond, but I feel resentment toward her
disinterest and dishonest behavior. I thought my
girlfriend was gay because she loved women
and making love to them —that’s why I am a
lesbian. Perhaps I was wrong.
HELP US, PLEASE!
— Femme in Distress
Dear Femme in Distress:
“Stud” may not know it, but she’s a lousy
lay. If the problem were just technical (e.g. she
jiggled your breasts like a 14-year-old boy and
touched you clumsily), there’d be hope that she
could be trained. But her unwillingness to leam
or even talk is a problem.
Maybe she’s watched too much bad pom in
which women get gratification from just getting
on their knees and servicing their men. Her
fantasy may be being “done” by a woman who
lives to serve. Stud probably doesn’t realize that
if her woman doesn’t share the fantasy, Stud’s
disinterest in pleasing her partner makes her
DaU 111 Dell.
How direct have you been? Ms. Behavior
would suggest telling the truth as you’ve told it
in your letter: “You are making my sex life
unbelievably unattractive, boring, and one
sided.” Let Stud know that you won’t commit
to her unless this changes. Tell her exactly what
you want (competent oral sex sounds
important) and give her a time limit. She may
need to go to therapy, read books, or take a
class in vaginal worship, so give her six
months.
“Butch in the streets, Femme in the sheets” is
one thing, but your girlfriend sounds “Dead in
the Bed”. A sexless relationship is torture fpr
someone who wants and loves sex, so if it
doesn’t get better, move on and find yourself a
woman who will cherish every part of your
body and live to make you scream.
Contact Ms.Behavior via The Front Page or
send e-mail to MsBehavior@aol.com.
oun
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