Newspapers / The Courier (Asheboro, N.C.) / July 9, 1908, edition 1 / Page 2
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The Scrap Book A Distincti With Differwic, Onie James, tba) giant Kentucky con KKsstnan, waa mailing a political paech. 1 wnt to ask you a qoestlon," berated a man. -Well, my friend, what la Itr "1 want yon to tell this gathering what ! the difference between G rover Cleveland and Theodore Roosevelt" "Nothing simpler. Mr. Cleveland U two- sedate to bant and Mr. Boosevelt Is too restless to fish." EXAMPLE. ' W scatter mads with careless hand I And dream w ne'er shall see thrun mom. IBut for a thousand jsrs Their fruit appears Id weeds that mar the land Or healthful store. t The deeds we do, the worda ws say. Into still sir they seem to fleet. i We count them ever past, ' But they shall last Ib the dread Judgment they And we shall meet I charge thee by the years gnoe try, For the love's sake of brethren rtrissi Keep toon the one true way In work and play, Lest In that world their cry Of ne tuou hear. -John KeUa Porous. "That la a pretty big buckwheat cake tor a boy of your size," said papa at breakfast to Jimmy-boy. "It look big." said Jimmy, "but real ly It Isnt lf got lots of porousea in a. A Tragedy Awrtsd. A gentleman unexpectedly took a friend home to dine with him. Before dinner his wife took her husband aside and Impressed upon him that when the sherry In the decanter was exhausted he must not ask his friend to take any more, as there was none In the house. The husband promised to remember and act with all due discretion. When the sherry was exhausted, however, the husband In a Ot of mental aberration pressed more upon him. Th wife looked distressed, and the visitor de clined. After the visitor had departed the lady said reproachfully to her hus band, "How could you press blm to take more sherry when I had already warned you there was none In the house?" "I am very sorry, dear," said the pa tient husband, "but I forgot all about rt" "How could yon 7 she replied. "What do yon suppose I was kicking ' you under the table for?" "It wasn't me you kicked," eald her tins band. A "Leetle" Abwntmrnded. Rufus Choate once endeavored to make a witness give an Illustration of a been tm 1 nded ness. "Waal," said the witness cautiously, "I should say that a maa who thought he'd left his watch to hum an' took It ontfn his pocket to see If be bad time to go hum to get It I should say that that feller was a loetle absentia laded." Everybody's. He Knew What He Wanted. The family were gathered In the li brary, one of the windows of which 'was "open. "That air" the father began. "Father, dear, don't say that air. Say "that there,'" the daughter admon ished.' "Well; this ear" b again attempt ed. "Nor this 'ere.' This here la cor rect" he was told. The old gentleman roso, with an an gry suort "Lools here, Mary," he said, "of course I know you hove been to school and ail that but I reckon I know what I want to say, an' I am going to say It. I believe I feel cold In this ear from that air, an' I'm go ing to shut the window r Ladles' Home Journal. A Hurry Order. As she examined her Thanksgtvteg turkey she asked her little son: "Did the butcher full you this turkey Was quite fresh?-' "Xo'm. He Just sold to hurry home with -it as fust as I could." A Definite Date. Dnrltfg the money stringency lately a certain real estate man, having noth ings else for his clerk to do, sent him ont to collect some rent that was over due. The clerk, being of Bwedlah, national ity, had their peculiar twang In his speech. Returning from his trip, the Swede seemed very jubilant The proprietor, noticing his smile, laid, "Welt what Inck did you haver nd the clerk answered. Turfy good." "Welt did anybody pay youT Taaa. Smith be pay, and Tones be ay he pay In Yanuary." "Are yon sure Jones said he would pay In January? ne never before has made any such promises." "Veil, I tank so. Ho say it bane a flam col' day when you get dot money, nd I tank dnt bane In Yanuary." Judge's Library. The P1y Went On. In the early days of the hist een tury Thomas II111. a great-uncle of fhe late Thomas Hill, president of Har vard university, was occupying an and seat In a theater at Jersey City. Dl-r-ctly In. front of him sat a diminutive Frenchman, who found his enjoyment of the play greatly diminished by thi fart that an overgrown man In from of .Mm persisted In wearing a tall slit hat He tried to look around (he hat nd ever the burly shoulders, but aoSf to Us diaoomflrttre. Finally hti4p7 r the maa on the arm, saying, "Eff yon please, ears, would you be kind enough " take off J oar batf Mo attention was paid to this protest and be re iterated bis request. Still the big man paid no bee. Mr. Hint attention was attracts, aady taking bis cane, be knocked the silk bat off into the aisle. Instantly the man, his face red with wrata, roas to his feet aod began to pull off bis coat The audience also roan, expecting to see a fight The play topped, the actors crowding to the ft eat of the stage. Mr. Bill de liberately stood up, dl.liylng his six feet two inches of height and hiatmag aiflorat proportions, and said in a clear voice beard all over the theater, "My naiiw la Thomas Hill, tanner. If you wish satisfaction, cotne to my office tomorrow menilng at U o'clock. Here Isi say card." The other slunk out of the bouse. Then Hill, with a sweeping gesture, exclaimed in a stentorian voice. "The play may go on." And the play iPtnt on. Llpplncotf a. Mederty Ferfcads. ' A lady once asked Lord Brougham at a dinner party who was the best speaker In the bouse of lords. Lord Brougham promptly and emphatically answered. "Lord Stanley, madam, is Uke second best" Her Way of Taking TKem. At a dinner party the coachman was called upon In an emergency to assist In waiting upon the guests, among whom was a very deaf old lady. The eoachmaa. In passing the vegetables, oines to the deaf lady. Teas, mam T" says Jehu. Ho answer. "Peas, mnmT (lotidcrv Still there waa no answer from the old lady, who at this moment lifts her ear trumpet interrogatively toward the man. Glancing down and seeing the tube be ejaculated in a whisper: "Weil, it's a rum way of taking them, but I sup pose -she ilkes tt Here goes!" And down went the fieas into the ear truu pet. iotllerf Iloine Journal. Wealth and Marbles. "Why get together any more money asked a frkind of the late Russell Sage. "You can't eat It You can"t drink It. WTit roo1 will It do your' "Ever ulay marbles?" Uncle UusseU asked. "Yes, when I was a boy." "Couldn't eat 'em, could you? Couldn't drink Vm, could you? No use to you. were they? What did you play marliles for?" He Kept the Secret. When the teacher was absent from the schoolroom Willie Jones wrote on the blackboard: "Willie Jones can bug the girls better than any boy In school." "William, did you write that?" asked the teacher upon her return. "Yea, ma'am." "Well, you may stay after school as panUbment" "Oet a ticking, didn't your asked cue boy when Wine came ont "Nope." Got jawed?" asked another. "Nope." "W hat did She do?" "Shan't tell, but It pay to adver tise." Good Little Girt. A Christian mother was once show ing her little plrl, about five years old, a picture representing Jesus holding an infant la bis arms, while the mothers were pushing their children toward him. "There, Carrie," said her mother, "thU Is what 1 would hare done with you If I had been there." "I wouldn't be pushed to Jesus; I'd go U hlui without pushing." Malicious Adiposity. "Fat men an- no account for soldier ing." mild the late General Shafter. "Tney pant they wheeze, they snort they caoke, they grunt they groan, they waddle, they slouch through the world. Not a particle of good on earth, fat soldiers. Would not have one of 'em around If I could help it" "Er but cr- ytra would not exactly er oall yourself slight would you, gecemf?" a venturesome major asked. "Uelt no! I've been a fat blobhy old nuisance ever since the day I tip ped the beam at over 200 pounds, and rtg!it then I ought to've been court mortisled and cashiered for outrage ous and malicious adiposity, sir, for scandalous. corpulence to the prejudice of military discipline!" Bottled. "Everything was fine." Bald the fann er when he got back home from his first risk to the city "everything was fine except the light They kept .the tight burning in my room alt night long, a thing I ain't need to, and 1 eouldn'tydeep on account of It" "Why didn't yon blw It out?" asked his wife. "Blow It out? How could I? The blame thing was Inside a bottle!" A Logical Sentence. A lawyer defending a men aocwed of housebreaking said: "Your honor. I submit that my client did got break Into the house at all. He found the parlor window open and merely inserted his right arm and re moved a few tricing articles. Now. my client's arm Is not himself, and fall to see lAw you can punish the whole IndlvhRal for an offense com mitted only by one of t.la limbs." "That argrnnent. said the Judge, "is very Well put Following It logically. I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's Imprisonment. He can accom pany It or not. as he chooses." Tbe defendnnt with his lawyer's as sistance, unscrewed his cork arm and. leaving It ! the dock, walked oat WOMEN'S WOES. Asheboro Women Are Finding Relief at Last It does seem that women have more than a fair share of the aches and pains that afflict humanity; they must "keep up," must attend to duties in spite of constantly aching backs, or headaches, dizzy spells, bearing down pains; they must stoop over, which means torture. They must walk and bend and work with racking pains and many aches from kidney ills. Kidneys cause more sufferiug than auy other org-n pt the body. Keep the Kidneys well and health is easily maintained. Read of a remedy for kidneys, only that helps and cures the kidneys and is endorsed by people you know Mrs. K. E. Woodell. livintr on Salisbury St., Asheboro, X. C says: ! I have great faith in Doan's Kid - i ney Tills as I have used them with ' the most trratifviui? results. I have! suffered a great deal from pains in the small of my back and a disorder ed condition of my kidneys. Dull headaches were also added to mv afflictions and the many remedies I tried failed to give me relief . Doan's Kidnev Pills bavin? been highly recommended to me, I pro-, cured a box at the Standard Drug Co. and began their use. The use of two boxis greatly ieliev-d my suffering and I know'th.it a coutinu - ed use will bring about the most satisfact ry results. For sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents. Foster.Milbnru (.'., Buffalo, New York, sole agents for the Unit ed States. Remember the name Dnm'o and take no other. Hints About 1'auiiing fruit. In otiler to be successful in cat) I ning fruit it is necessary that carcj be taken in the select'.i'ii as well ;in the preparation of the fruit. The' beot flint should be selected and ih ! jurs thoroughly sterilized bef'or,. t'l- : 'he fruit is put into them. With exception ot pi-ars and go,t,eiicn ie., . II truits u.-el tor cuiiuing should be ripe wjen picked, and canned while fresh. Pearsare better if picked . before thoroughly ripe and allowel to ripen in the house, -hi!e goose- berries are used before thev ripen. Do not hegin the process of canning j fruit until you have your fruit and cooking utensils all in readiness and j then complete the process as raoidly , possinie. uratute or potcelam ; fans are best for thU pti-pose aud i thev should he shall'iw iii irtr that ' the fruit may he only m.e Uverdeep. ' This allows it to cik jn:ckl, j which is the secret of its being j light colored and tine rlavoied. and j it also makes it possible to handle j it so as to avom nrenKing it. .Nevet think to econnmizo by u.-ing o'd rubbers on the jars for von can buy a good many rubbers with the p'ice of a jar of fruit. The IIotsF. keei'ks For July. DRESSMAICING AT HOME vi?. tnjKxsFZf the ytmnt-axzacSSa lasted rr.ti c-t . ; y S. tvo tUt Haitx PATTERNS may Mkfircm &kfnmi Bryan Vs. Tart. Last eek the Virginia Demo cratic convention faced the fact that of 1,002 delegates who will sit in the Denver convention Mr. Bryan bad so nearly gained two thirds as, barring a political miracle, virtual ly to assure him the nomination. It is now a foregone conclusion that Bryan will be nominated by the Democratic party to oppose William H. Taft for President. There has been much said in op position to Mr. Bryan, aud at one time there was some doubt as to his receiving the nomination, but time has proven that Mr. Bryan hits such a hold on the American people that his influenoe caon.it be over, thrown by a few newspaper editors who oppose the third nomination, nor will the principle which he ad vocates be lost sight of by those who oppose trusts and monopolies, seem to think some of the best dailies, It 18 as yet uncertain as to who will be named as the second man on the Democratic ticket as was the case with the Republican party. Gov. Glenn's name hts been men- tinned for the second place on th i ticket aud there is some prob.tbilit the proo.toiiity 1 1 hut he will receive the noiniuatioii. We believe that this woii'd be as stroi.g a ticket as could possibly be put out by ;he Democr itic part?, I Mr. Biyan would doubt' ess earn j the west wh:le Gov. Glenn would seep the Sjiitb. Kaudlemau News I A Kevelatiun. I It is a rev. latinn lo people, the severe I ca-rs oj lung tn uli e tlist hiive I et n cur d bvKol-y's Honey arid Tiir. It iet only ttop the eoiiuh out henls ami str-i'gtlicns ! the luujjs 1. M Hughes, lieaMior, low.i, writes: "The doctors suid I ha 1 ccnuimp j tiou, and 1 got no lietter until I-to k Kolej's , llouty uii'l Tur. It stopped the hemor- rli.ite-. n l p.iin in uir I a.ul ihev are j now ii to.iticl a a hullet ' I Al ehciro I'ru; Co. A lenlloe Airil-atlnli. . nr lloiuc.i A eiinrtia1 ti.i'ler iletth sentence is rep i Inl ,tf I. imii; niatie th St.t inetr: " It ten drink tuaf ca'is- tj Miv nr nut. ciaivties or had i: hum .i .n. r.ti It wig just idleness. I llene-s led iii first to eiiarette'. then to .irmk . then to hid cmiim-mumus '.lien to the ual- lows. Ami I hl.uu. uiv folks. If thev had tn ide me ivn. in .it m.-k wor"; would h..ve Kent me ton busv to have plaun-d ro'.tteiv aud niur der." I ms .tight t he a lesson to those f jud parents who think their children a too good to woik. If we hud a-v,.u hful r-f rmatorv'' to whii-'i court. ri.i ..i..,,... ,.,',..ik. f u I criminals t i n .ui nk, uuuy of tlieiu cm Id he reclaim-1. S eadv work and piemy of it vi rtf'jrui them it intv cm li reformed, Delay in c tnuieiieo u tie:ituiMiil for a -'icht n ii-L".l.o i:y tliu! coi Id hav Iveen cured ipiii-Kly hy Koli j', K du v li'emecly limy result in -erio i- kidn y ilise.iw. F ley's Ki !n-y I! ui- 'ly huiel-- u i' the Worn out 'i-i-iHM and .t renui Ih us h se orguns. Commence Ihm'ii' i' 'odnv no t; upprr jearCtxt- uaiilTOtfr' doss tux co maSxrmmtf t t : til yw. Advice by Jefferson Davis. An extract from the last speech of President Davis is often quoted and contains a useful lesson. "The faces I see before me are those of young men. Had not you been this I would not have appear ed alone in a defense of my South land, but for lo e of her I brea my sileuce and speak to you. The past is ded; let it bury its dead, its hopes and aspiration. Before you lies the future of goldeu endeavor, full of national glory before which the world will staud amazed. Let me beseech you to lay aside all ran cor and all bitter sectional Reeling aud take your place in the ranks of those who will bring about concilia tion out of which will be shed a re united country." Him IOO.OO. ''In 1902 I had a very severe attack of di arrhoea," says K. N. Furrar of Cat Island, La. "For several weeks 1 was unable to do anvtliw.ir On Mhf.'Ii IS. 11I07. I hud a simi- har attack, ami took Ctiaiuiwrlain's Co ic, Clholera and Diarrhoea Kenedy wliicli gave ins prompt rpiiei. i eonswer u one oi me best medicines. of its kiud in the world, and s.l I it in I'M:' Mievn it n-mild lnira saved me a hundred dollar doctor's bill " Sold liv standard Drug Co , Aslieboro, and A' A I) uderwood, Randleuiii). A hauuted house has shades in stead of curtains. Kev. I. YY. VYilliauis TestiUes. It v I VV William. Huntington, W Ya, 'esiilie- as follows: "This is to certify thai I u-ed Foley s Kidney Uemedy for nervous exhaustion and kidney trouble, and urn free to say that Fol-y's Kidney Kemedy will do all tli t vi-u claim for it," Theie's many a slip betwixt the front steps ud the gate in the win ter time. On - application of ManZun Pile Remedy, fur all l"i in. ol 1'ile.s, soethes, reduces in tf i ii 1 1 n t nil. snreni -s and itching. 1'riee oOc gtiiiranteeil. "Iear Sally," wrote Miranda June, lletween you, the fMle-pnt and uv, 1 owe tnv gml complexion to Uo list! s Kocky Mount, iin Ten. Asaeboro Drug C , GO YEARS' IV EXPERIENCE Design COFVRIOKTS AO. hiTsnlton is rrt.bntilf tsitentsbte. Commanlna. IKmsMrtctlrcnnSilnntial. HANDBOOK oa PsMnla ni ir. iinissi .-ii-y lor scunnf pmmiu. FstanM takan throuxb Munn a Co. ncalva rptnat wMtc, wltrsiut ch-g, ib tbs Scientific Hmericait A hanrlsnmelT lllnMrstcd wssklf. t sunt dr. rulsllou if snv seieiilulc loartiaL Terms. M a rsir; foar ruonlus, L, Sola bj all ncwsdealara, MUNN I Co "-. New tort arsocb OrBua, at F 8U Wubliwtun, D. C L. M. FOX, M D. ASHEBORO, N.C. Otter nl Tirotewifinsl M-t tn th! cltlwi. ut Ashehnr-i ami urnmi1tu WWIMIH ilrttoe. A i MesNlene. .aSeztrv amPAm9T I Mil U ALL I mm SewinG MACHINES Several easy-running, all over ball-bearing sewing machines. The recently improved WILL C. FREE Machines are the best Call and see them. 1 Also get prices on our com plete line of House Furnishings including Shadr 8, Bedding, Pic tures, Rockers, Chairs, Tables, etc. We will save yon money. O. R. FOX, Asheboro. AGENTS WANTED BY i J OLD RELIABL E 1 2 Greensboro J Nurseries J Jno. A. Young, 3 Owner. UGH CRUDE 6B3MEA3 KACESNE !ViaMvlTtfRwtat8ewinnMae!ifMaoa mt affamL Bjroar dirsct aniline plan, w ota. Tba ia eooal to uoalO' aold by nti lor wo.oo. Is substantial!? mad at bast matarU-andia equipped with tb Utaat fan. ptwomcuta. El. (ant oak drop-leaf iDHMt. 4 drawera fall aat of at- tachaeatv Wt girt v eoi Hadlnt 10-w cIikUh mm tudsr. a-rlta drs if K4fou4 Is mirm MtaMory. wUl i ta.d jumr moajg. W.srsth.lsrt.tMwlstmaclilBsdta. irtMmr. I . . im soots, sss m.t. pmsipt aipaMoa Is4ti pkSs cslskifiM BUN Itraic MALSBY. SHIPP & CO. Atlanta, Ga. No. 25 Bucket Pump. Fits any bucket or psil, hasbnll vslvoa, rlou'd art ion, has 3 feet cf ho-e, one foot of "teiisioii rod, and lirass nozzles. Made in galvanized iron, with brass tops and bu'tens. Also all brass. s Adapted forwhitewnshing, spraying shrub bii-y, trees. wu-4iing windows and wagons. Prim cf N'o :'S, gilvsnized. 2.50; No. 28, briss, ?3 Ml eseli. C;ih wilh order I). B. SMITH A- CO.. Manufacturers, IT1CA, N Y. Flcasant to take The new laxative. Does not gripe or nauseate. Cures stomach and liver troubles and chronic con stipation by restoring the natural action of the stom ach, liver and bowels. RwfuM ubatttutM. Ptlo BOO ASHEBORO DRUG CO. Handsome, New WALL PAPER Just received the bandsrmest line of sam pl w cf wall paper ever show n the trade in th'. i-ection. The highest c a's papers and th greatest variety of patterns to be found an 1 ut R eatly reduced pi iee Call and see them before purchasing All inrjtiiries by leltT will l promptly answered. Vcur im mediate iedi supplied from stork on haad. ana job au oaaMnr ana MM mm Laxative Froit Syrup M. HAMMOND, Aahtboro, N. C.
The Courier (Asheboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
July 9, 1908, edition 1
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