North Carolina Newspapers

THE CEMTRtt TIMES (' E. F. YOUNG, Manager. "LIVJJ AND LIST LtYE," C K. GRANTHAM, Local Editor. VOLUME I. DUNN, HARNETT CO., N. G.vTHUKSDAf. MARCH 10, 1891. NUMBER 4. Cite (Central imcs, Published Every Thursday, T E.- F. Young aiii G. K. Grantlam. 'SUBSCRIPTIONS IN ADVANCE:' Qnt Year, Six Months, fl.00 -50 ADVERTISING RATES: One Column, One Year, ' ' a One Inch, 4U.00 20.0C 10.00 .T-C'ntrin't advertisements taken at pro portionately rut-n. Loral imticfji, 10 cnt a line. ' j7-ertWlv. ,tt ti' J'l;tfi,f in I hum, .V. ( 'The latest rcmance of gold discovery corai from Nicaragua, where it is as serted that the old mines of the Aztecs Jiave. fc?en found. England i saidto be moving in the direction of an imperial zollverein to held her colonies closer together by mans of trade relations with the mother countrv. Thr mines of the world last year pro lucod a vain; of I, 876, 000,000, of which .70S00J,00r was in coal.. The United States is credited with ."?t00,QOO, 000, of about one-third of the total. Robert Bonner i3 authority for ' the tatement" that in 1356 there was not a horse that had trotted a' mile 2:20, . and not over twenty Horses in the. country in the 2:30 list. The "great change which has occurred during the intervening iyears, notes the American Dairyman, is indicated by the fact thnt during the past year almost one thousand horses were 'added to the already very large number who had covered' a mile in 2:30. The greatest record thus far made was in 1SS5, when Maud S. reached the wonderful speed ot a mile iu 2:08. - - The railroad statistics of the United States furnish no end of interesting figures to thoso who care to investigate them. Nearly one hundred "nnd sixty thousand miles of road arc in, actual operation, and these roads employ about three million people in various capacities. During tlic last year $1, 000,000, 000 was .spent in railway freights, and, figuring upon a baMs of .62,000,000 population, this would make $1G for every man, woman and child in the countrv. This mm- would" pay the national debt, or - supply free education to all the children in the country for a long period. The Siiidwich Islanders believe, de clares the Chicago Ibrahl, that Kala kaua was poisoned by the doctors and tl;ey fcVl very bitterly toward Colonel Biker, a friend and companion of the King in his illness, who, they thina, ? "should have made sure that the medicines administered to him contained no poison by first taking a doc of them himself. This was a duty due to Hawaiian royalty which the Colonel failed to perform, and though some" very good reasons for it may ! apiwircnt to others, he will never . be able to show the Sandwich Islanders why he should not have taken the alleged poison himself and saved the life of the King. " '. . I The, proof of tho adage that where there is a will there is a way to break it is seen in some statistics in a Boston legal journal. They show that in, the United . States last year 4000 wills were contested, 2400 of. which were broken. Large as they seem, there is no ressOn, confesses the Chicago Herahl, to doubt the accuracy ". of these figures. The contested will case has become a familiar feature of every Probate Court, and the skill of lawyers in setting aside wills has become prover bial. Even the will of so subtle a law yer as Mr. Tilden was successfully con tested. The situatiou is an unfortunate one for the man of wealth. - At his death he can neither take his riches with him iior .be certain that they will be distributed afterward in accordance with the behests of his will. ' lias' the ancient city of "Moscow, Rus fi. gone dowu on its knees to the Mer chant JermokoS? This is the question now agitating Moscow society. Iteems that a subscription for a certain charity was being raised in Moscow," and of the million rubles required there was a de ficit of 300,000. The Miyor lethought' him to make an appeal to a rich merchant of his acquaintance for the required sum. He did so; the first time in vain. .But on another visit the merchant said: "Go down on your knees and beg me )o give you the money." "And why not?" re turned the Mayor. Like Lady Godiva, he sacrificed bis pride and gained the money fcr the town. And now so-, ciety is much concerned to know if it honor . was ' lost, and casuists are arguing on both sides of the qauction. foscow has got something to talk about- IN EARLY SPRING. Bright days are with us, lengthened and 6e-ene, The clouds grow mellow, and the forest hatb Its budding, pleartre; yet of Winter scattv feome drear memorials here and there are seen. For, though the wind no more breathes frosty-keen, It often floats the old leaves In our path. Or sighsldong some dnreaped aftermath. To mind us of the rigor that hath been, O thou my Joy, Spring of my Wondrous, Year? Forgive, if in thy presence aught of grief Remain from that lead time ere thou wast here. "Sow, surely, such gainsaying shall b3 brief; Forthoo wilt net my feet where flower and leaf And soft new sward blot out the stubble sere. Edith M. Thomcif, in Scribner. J ANIE'S. ATTEMPT. ' . BY TOM P. MORGAN. "I'll not come back till you call me, Mi3s Lang?'' "Then, I fear you will be a long tunc in coming, Mr.- Atchison I" Then the young fellow whacked the old fence beside him so fiercely .with the stick he had picked up ns he come to the trysting place that. the catbird in the lil; c tangle -just over the fence jumped out of her nest with a squawk of wild affright and went blundering away in the gathering dusk, while'thc wiclder of the stick turned his back upon the. girl and trudged down the hill with unnecessarily heavy steps. 'Miss'' Lausr! "Mr." Atchison 1 The catbird, who had witnessed many meeting at the old gate since she bejran her nesting in the lilacs, has J never be fore heard the young people r.ddress each other with such ceremonious exac titude. It Lad been "Janie" and "Phil'' til! the catbird, perhaps with some of the in- stincts o'f a match-maker, has grown complacently accustomed to their meet ings. The yousg people had had oc casional "tiffs," to be euro, but never before such a quarrel as this. Phil Atchison did 'not look back as he tramped away, and Janie tossed her short little curls and hurried toward the house. - "Phil is so so commonplace, and " There was a little catch in her murmur as she told herself so, in spite of the fierceness with which she forced herself to believe that she was glad it was all over between them. Perhaps Phil was cotnraonplace. But it " was ouly of late that Janie had dis covered it. It had not been so very long ago that she had thought his houest face something very much better than com monplace aud hi3 homely talents more than ordinary. Thee was much of the inventor about this young fellow, who was continually pottering with some navel contrivance of his own conception, and but a little while ago Janie had prklcfully regarded him as destined to accomplish great thiags. But that was before her inspiration had come to her, showing her, as it gradually opened her eyes to her own possibilities, how commonplace Phil really was. To be sure, he was an inventor as far as in tent went, at least but as yet he had Dcver succeeded in accomplishing any thing in particular, and probably, she decided, never would. Besides this, he was intensely, almost disgustiugly, prac tical. Janie Joved poetry, particularly the kind that wailed more or less dis tressingly about unrequited love and such sad themes. But Phil cared little for it, even, upon the night of the quarrel, going so far as to snort contemptuously at one of her most soullul and wailful selections. Phil was all well enough in his way, but there was little of the heroic about him, unless, indeed, it might have been in. the reckless way in which he placed himself in the power of some of his ex periments. "When she broached n part of it Phil had promptly scoffed at her inspiration 'and his skepticism, or at least lack of sympathy with her ambition, had been a prime factor in bringing about the sepa ration. Slow-going Phil, outside of his inventing, had no yearning beyond the having of a commonplace little home, -with Janie as 'its little mistress. This prospect had seemed very alluring to her till the coming of her inspiration had whispered to her that she was worthy of better things and then that. she was capa ble of attaining them. She wanted well, she hardly krJcw definitely just what she did want, but it was something that the prospect of be ing the mistress of a quiet little home .idid "not . promise. ( In the big,- bright world beyond the village' there - were many opportunities and Her discontent begau fo grow as rapidly as her ambition expanded. Phill promised'cheerfully hat, as the invention proved the success that he fondly hoped it would be, they would exhaust some of the pleasures of the great, bright world. But Janie, impatient at his awkward sympathy and his scoffing at. her poetical quotations about hearts x bowed and am bitions enchained, scoffed in turn at his prospects. The invention, she said scornfully,' would probably amount to no more than its predecessors fantastic failures, all of them. And And so mattcrs'went on from bad to worse till the quarrel was followed by the parting and Janie and her ambition . were free ; of. slow-going Phil, and his commonplace plans. She smothered the pang in her heart as she hurried toward the house in th gloaming. - There was littb now to pre vent hcr-making the attempt at which she felt so sure ol succeeding, would have no chance So object, indulsrent, unworldly ol I aunt Phil The with who.-a the orphan girl lived ana wno wnul'l have thought it nearly the correct thing and made but feeble objection if Janie bad proposed an excursion to Peru, and did not put a- veto upon the proposition that shu but ball" uaden tod. And, two days later, when Phil Atchi- son, with a very transparenl excuse upon his lips and a hepe for reconciliation. in his" heart, called at the little cottage In the lilac tangles, Janie had gone to make her attempt . ' Then Phil was angry in good earnest and inquired no more. "Why what right had she to ? Then he remenjbercd that she was no longer his promised wife and went back to his inventing, re solved fiercely to mind his own business and smother his feelings, and a discour aging job enough he found it. Janie's idea of the advantage offered by the city had been gathered from vari ous unreliable sources, arid het? going was cheered by the fancy that fortunes there were to be had almost for the tak ing. She could paint a little butter: cups and violets on saucers and placques and the like-and fancied, poor child, that she was destined, if not for a great "artist, to at least make something of a name and fame for herself. . Her pretty little daubs would not sell. But Janie, though sorely disappointed, was not conquered, and she set bravely to work and painted other pretty little daubs, which did scarcely better than their predecessors. One sold, after sever al days, and the little girl chirked up wonderfully for a time. It was slower work than she had anticipated, but with perseverance she would win success after awhile. Rome was not built in a day. And so she struggled on. Economize as one will, board aud other necessities will eat up one's savings and Janie saw the little store of money she had brought with her decreasing day by day And still the little daubs did not sell. Then, when at last she knew not which way to turn, she secured a chance to color photographs for a miserable pittance per duzLn. Though she worked, poor child, to the limit of her endurance, day after day. till she grew wan, hollow-eyed and .al ways weary, the scanty pay .was scarce sufficient to keep body and soul together. This was very far from achieving the fame and fortune she had so fondly ex pected would be here. And. there seemed nothing brighter to which snc could Iok forward. In tearful retrospection, in the solitude of her barren, cheerless roorn, the quiet little village she had left seemed no longer me?in and commonplace, but the brightest spot on earth. And the quiet little home that poorPhil had planned for her seemed in fancy almost like Para dise. And Phil he was no longer the commonplace clod to which her inspiration-had likened him, but his talents the brightest, "his honest face the dearest and his love the most desirable in the whole wide world. How she hated the inspiration that had tempted her to leave them and to so wrong Phil, dear old Phil! Oh, if she could ouly but she was proud, this little Janie, and she could - not go back to them: And so the days dragged drearily on. Tiien, even the pitiful boon of the photograph coloring was denied her, and shJ could find nothing to do even to earn the few dimes, necessary to keep life in her weary little- body. Her scanty store of pennies went one by oue and no more were added to them. She had no recom mendations, no influence, that might have secured her a situation. Nobody knew, nobody cared for the poor little struggling, despairing child. The rent of her dismal little room came due and there .was" no way of paying it. In a day or tvo shel must give it up, and then Day after day she had sought for some thing to do, be the reward ever so small, that would, add to the pitiful remnant of her fast disappearing store of dimes and penuies anything that was honorable, no matter how illy paid. But nobody wanted her, and worn, weary, heart sick, discouraged, she dragged herself back each time to her cheerless room, to sob herself suppcrless to unrefreshing sleep. She told herself that even Phil, dear old Phil, w;ould scarcely have known her now. The bloom was gone from her face, which had grown very thin and white, and the dainty hands that he had so often held in his strong, warm ones were growing more slender and like lit ' tic claws. " Presently came the day when even that miserable existence could go on no longer. On the morrow she must leave the room for which she could no longer pay. She had cried herself supperlcss to sleep the night before. The last of the pennies, only half a dozen of them, purchased the mite that made her break fast. Then she set out bravely to make one more hopelese attempt in the battle of existence. Nothing rewarded her, and" weary, despairing, defeated, she dragged her tired little feet bac,k to her dinnerless room at noon. . The struggle was almost over. There seemed nothing more for .her to do but to lie down and die. Her pride was broken at last, and weak, wan, hungry little Janie sank down on her hard bed and sobbed out her pititul loneliness and weakness and despair like a poor lorn, lost child. Oh, if only Phil if only she hadn'f . Th?n a thought came to her. ' Jf she left a letter addressed to him, after she war gone, after the troubled spirit, weary with the battle, with the battle with privation and despair, had taken its flight, they would send it to him as the one. likely to be most interested, and he, if he came, could take the cold little body and do with it as he might. The letter occupie 1 a long time in writing. She had. not so very much to say the pitiful stjry was not a long one but her weak hand trembled and tears bedimmcd her sight and dropped on the cramped lines sot often. Then, when it wns done, thi: left it tyiug on the table. But she could not remain there with her thoughts her thouffl ts ! and lief hunger and so she went out I atraiu with weak steps and laden heart. Tuerc might but no, there seemed no hope for anything. Well, she might a well die trying! Her tain lace was flushed a little now and her eyes un naturally bright. Her unsteady steps gru v tpi; troubled 2.;?r. and o i i. iiueer luou-jnu aer br-iin. Her hunger vas ai sue wandered on and i on with feverish strenrrth and uncertain M purpose. Her short little curls were alf j astray and her thin hands Clenched ton M vulsivcly. a .Her half unguided steps led to the art store where her pretty little daubs had so unsuccessfully been exposed, for sale, the kind old proprietor feeling a half J pity lor the lonely little child-woman who had asked so often and anxiously of their f fate and had been too proud to voice her -disappointments when they never sold. : This old fellow was just stepping t6i the door when she pissed the place. The f daubs were almost forgotten in the half delirium, that had come over her. "Ho, Miss Lang!" he called, cheerily. ! "Luck at last!" ' . ' I The daubs-not one, but all- were"; sold t Some young fellow, much to the ? rl.f fa T 1 r o mii.ni.in ntuil kli.MI.MnM intn fhp Kforp e.pinr fh I:Hc which - ' -"! 'v"r, he appeared to recognize, and making a few inquiries as to the identity of thet artist, had snaoocd un the whole lot nat i if they had been Very precious indeed. r r k The man placed the money in the bewil- ,i i i j i ii i i she went weakly away, after a few half!. incoherent words. ' ' ' ! "Poor child!" he muttered to himself. "She looked ill and half starved! I wishf why, I declare, I forgot to tell hcj. that, that young had beeu very particular to inquire her address, and exhibited strong symptoms of intending to call onf her." ?. Meanwhile the buyer of he daubs,! with his purchases in a bundle under his! arm, had made all haste to proceed toi the address the art dealer had givem. him. h No, Miss Lang was not in, the landfH lady informed him. She had probablvj gone to look fo a new abiding place, a$J she was about to leave her present qunr ters .upon the morrow. l Was Miss Lang enjoying good health V Well, now that she thought of.it, th4: landlady was moved to confess that fo$ some time the young lady had appeared! fo be sort of fading and failing. g What was the matter! . s The landlady could not say. A woman with the cares of a shabby genteel lodg-jj ing house, a worthless husband and valueless children could not be exli pected to find time to pay more attend tion to her patrons-than to know thaf they paid their dues promptly and didj not make way with the furniture. i When did she expect the young lady?! back? , J $ She could not say. Maybe, now that! she-thought of it, Miss Lang would notij. return at all. She had been given warn4f ing to vacate the room and might have? done so already. There the tabic addressed to was a letter ocj a Mr. Philip Atchison. It might possibly ' "That's ma!" interjected the visitor with much promptness and profound contempt for the restrictions of g-ami mar.- J Five minutes later Phil Atchison waf reading the letter in the' dreary littlj, room. i Such a pitiful, disconnected, iearf blotted letter it was ! And when the visitorj had read-it through he rubbed the baclg ci ins uauu across m eyes anu mer were other .and fresher tear spots on th "When you read this, Phil, dearS dear Phil,'' the letter said, "my strug gles will be done. I've tried so hardl Phil, but it was no use. The battle ih almost over, and when it is done, yoi can lay me among the lilacs. And, oh Phil, forgive the wrong I did you, dears dear Phil. Oh, if you could only comfi to me now. I am so tired, so tired anf hungry. "Come to me, Phil! Come .' There was a catch in the young fcljl Iqw's voice a3 he spoke:. . . j "Her struggles will soon be over on& way or the other 1 Well, I am glad mji,. inventing wasn't a failure at last! . An.j' the golden harvest . it is -bringing mtj shall be devoted to making Janie, littl1 He started to read on aerain. ,"Oh,Phil, comeback to mel ,Come f The door opened just then and Janifl entered. Her .step was less weary anVj her eyes more nearly happy. A gooQ supper will do wonders for one. "Janie, little Janie!" . . "Dear Phil!" J ''You called me and I have come!" 'J "Forgive me, Phil! I" And then she was half smothered i his protecting clasp and knew that he" struggles were over at last." .j "And ngw you can see all of thegret bright world yon desire," said theyounw fellow, somewhat later. Lj "I don't want to see it!',' the girl rj turned, holding him fast with her thiu little hands. "I don't want the greaj world or anything but that qujt litt$ borne of which we used to plan, and- and you. Phil! -Aieu York Mercury. at If Sunbeams 'Will Sin?. A wonderful discovery Has been a; tracting the attention of scientists. beam of sunlight is made. to pass throig a prism" so as to produce the solar spec trum or rainbow. A disk,. - having sli or openings cut in it, is made to revolv f and the. colored light of the rainbow J j made to break through it and fall .11 o tind) silk, wool or other material contai in a glass vessel. As the colored Hgtji falls upon it sounds will be given by tbji different parts of the spectrum, and the .will le silence in other psrts. If tlj vessel contains red worsted and tbi green light flashes updn it louds soune will be given. Only feeble sounds wi be heard when the red and blue parts 45f the rainbow fall upon the. vessel, ait other colors make no sound at all. AV? Yuri Journal. The Indians Made Maple $n?ar. That maple sugar has been made the Indians from a remote time, accoroi- ing to Henry W. Henshaw, ii shown h jr their language, their festivals and thejf traditions. They collected the sap in birch-bark vessels, and evaporated it throwing hot stones into the reservoirj. They ate the sugar with corn, and boihfjL venison and rabbits in the sap. Some times the pure sugur was their only dft Jj a montiu Trenton America U half forgotten THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. the Stories that? abe told by - ptjnn y mek of the press- Little. Bat Oh My Strained Itelatlons Just Suited Kim Not Orouty Enouffh-Repartee, Ktc, Etc The foot on which my Mabel fail , Pursues her happy way Is but a very tiny foot, ' I'm very sure you'd sy. But notwithstanliil j this, I vow Not all the men in town Could make it budge a single inch When once sh3 puts it down. '.' Boston Times. K ' STRAINED 11ELATIOITS. Archibald "You are related to ier by marriage, are you not!" f ' ' Frigiday "No; I'm her brother by refusal." NOT GROUTY ENOUGH. - Cumso "I think I will become a pro fessional literary critic. " Fangle 'You can't I You have not got the dyspepsia.'1 Brooklyn Life. JUST SUITED HIM. Chailie "Gloth covered book? are too common, don't you know. No,w the binding of that book just suits me." Amy "What is it, Mr. Sappy calf?" M'tntey's Weekly. . REPARTEE. "I'm on to you," said the drop of ink. to the blotter, in a tone of considerable asperity. "Dry up," replied the blotter, savage-ly.--ifumey's Weekly. xNOT SO MUCH TO BLAME. IIorrifieA Parent "Anl you dare to tell me you kissed that young Hankinson last evening?'' Weeping Daughter "Yes, but the -mean thing k-kissed me first!" .SHE AGREED WITH HIM . Father (coming in upon '11:30) "Jennie, don't you them thinJs at it's about time to go to bed? Daughter "Why yes, papa, what on earth - keeps Blade. you up so late?" Yankee NOT TO BE CHANGED. I can't change my mind," said Chap- pie. 'I might have known that," retorted' his exasperated partner, lower denomination in yours." New York Sun. " There is no minds than IT WAS "A CRUSHEUi Sympathetic Cousin "Yes,' it must have been a terrible disappointment when Miss Golding refused you." Jack Van Broken "It was I felt exactly as though I had fenced to hard labor for life." a crusher, been sen- Life. - A WANDERER. "I am a wanderer on the face of - the globe," he said with a sigh. -"Your crime must have been a serious one." "Yes; ma'am;, but somebody has got to paint signs of Smith's soap along the highways and byways." R)cheltr Pott Express. "' A MISUNDERSTOOD HINT. . Waiter (looking in on a noisy party in hotel bed-room) 'Yre been sent to ask you to make less noise, gentlemen. The gentleman, in the next room says he can't read." Host of the Party "Tell him he ought to be ashamed of himself. Why, I could read when I was five years old!" Pick Me Up. - CLEVER INDEED. ,Mcs New 'I have a capital idea on economy Mr. New (with agitation) "For heaven's sake, what is it?" . Mrs. New "I will buy a French poo dle, dear. He will eat the scraps of food that we are now wasting. There fore they will be saved. Now isn't that clever of me?" Munscy't Weekly. NO TYPEWRITER FOR HIM. Visitor writes for staad." (to old lady)-"iour son the newspapers, under- . Old Lady (with pardonable pride) "YesJ my boy is mighty smart, if I do say it myself, that shouldn't." . Visitor "Does he use a pseudonym in his writing?" Old Lady "Oh, no, he can't write wjth the pesky machines. He has to do it by hand." - Washington Star. r.OYAL JOCULARITY. . Lord Salisbury Have you ever cal culatedyour highness, the number of umbrellas you have used since you as .cended the throne?" . Queen Victoria "I suppose no more than other folks." Lord Salisbury "I was thinking you did. You know we have had fifty.years of continual reign." , And Lord Tweedledum and the Mar quis of Bareacres burst out in a loud haw haw. Jettelert" Circular. A TENDER HEARTED JUDGE. Judge Q , who once presided over a criminal court down East, was famous as one of the most compassionate men who ever sat upen the bench. His softness of heart, however, did not pre vent him from doing his duty as.a judge. A man who had been convicted of steal ing a small amount was brought into court for sentence. He looked very sad and hopeless, and the court was" much moved by his contrite appearance ; "Have you ever been sentencedj to im prisonment Vr the judge asked. . "Never, never P exclaimed the prisoner, bursting into tears. "Don't cry, don't cry," said the judge, consolingly; yott're going to be, nowl" Detroit Free Pre. A GREAT Mr. Slowcoach O.UESTIOX. "Hiss Mamie, I hare come to-night to ask you a question which, I have long had in my mind to Miss Mamie (expectantly) "Indeed; why I am sure if I can answer any ques tion I shall be very glad to do so." Mr. Slowcoach "Yes, I have long wanted to ask you something, but I did inot know whether you would care to hear."" ; Miss Mamie "You know, "Mr. Slow, coach, that I should be glad to hear whatever you might say." . Mr. Slowcoach "Well, hen, Mamie that is, of -course, JlissMamie do you think I look better in a stand-up or in a turn-down collar?' Mercury. ANOTHER BOTCOTT. " 4 ." The usual depression in all classes of business was aptly illustrated in one of our criminal courts' last when the jury retired for consultation the foreman an nounced that the prisoner had just con vcyed to him the fact that he had only $10 left to "put up." . "Ten dollars 1" exclaimed one of the twelve, indignantly, "what' does the fel low take us for? We are willing enough to do the fair thing,1 heaven knows; but 10! I call that rubbing it in." "He might at least have made it a dollar apiece," growled another. "I tell you what it is, gentlemen," said the foreman, earnestly, "if this sort of thing keeps on they'll be having Chinese jurymen nextand the - business will be ruined entirely. It's about time we made au example of some one. I move that wa boycott this man." And they give him fifteen years. San Franfisco Examiner. ' THEY CHANGED. - "Hard luck, eh?" said the Deputy Sheriff as he tacked a notice on the door of the Tomcod restaurant up on Market street. "Did they boycott you?" ."It wasn't that," gloomily responded the proprietor, who wai making out a list of indestructible pies for the as signees. "It was the fearful want of education among the working classes that did me up." "As how tasked the City Hall man, pocketing a handful of five centers. "Well, about a month ago I came across a fat old loafer who- weighed about 300 pounds looked like a load of hay on legs so I hired him as a walking advertisement and had him float round town crrrying a sign lettered: "I lunch at the Tomcod." . "Great idea that; well?" "Well, it worked fine, and then I struck another bum; weighed about eighty-five regular, living skeleton. So I hired him too, and had another paint ed : I don't lunch at the Tomcod." , 'I see; big, scheme." "So it was. Tho scheme was all right, but pretty soon business got to be terrible bad; couldn't understand it until One day I came across the sandwich men down on KearHy street. ' It seems neither of the old rounders 'could read." '! - "But what did tha" "They had changed signs- See?" San Francisco Examiner. BEING TOO nONEST. "Seven years ago," he said, as he en tered a crockery store on Sixth avenue the other day, "seven "years ago I came in here - and bought six plates of you, arid handed you " He knocked a" thirty-cent pitcher off the shelf as he waved his arm about, and after the pieces were gathered up he continued : "I handed you a five-dollar bill. You warranted them plates to be'all wool and a yard wide, and I want to say right here and now that . Excuse me." He knocked a couple of lamp chim neys off a rack with his coat tails, and it was with a shade of asperity in his tones that the crockery man asked his errand. "Why, r "bought six plates .of you." "Well?" "It was seven years ago." "Well?" - "Them plates come to sixty cents, and I handed yoi a $5 bill. When I come to count my change I was half way home, and I fouad you had given me 'leven merits too much. I was calculatin' to come to town agin the next week, but What's that?" In moving about in the narrow space his foot 'hit a - four-gallon crock' and upset it and broke a liberal piece out of one side. "Did you want anything?" asked the grocer, in an acid voice. 'Certainlv I do. Kinder risky moving around here, I see. Yes, I found . you had overpaid me by 'leven cents, and though I meant to come in and return it, I've had a fever sore on ray leg,, and I had to go out to Elmira to see my daugh ter, and the old woman has bin ailing more or less, Being as I was in town to-day T thought I'd stefi Lands! but thar goes sunthin' else!" ' It was a fifty-cent vase, and as -the crockery man gathered up the piece he took the old man and led him to the door and asked : . "Anything in our line to-day?" . "Of course, it's in your line!. I want to clear my conscience, and I've come to pay back them 'leven cents. Here's a quarter which has.been plugged, I guess, and I'll call it twenty-three cents!' , "Sir, the man' who, was here seven years ago is dead." "Gosh!" "And I want you to go out of that door, and take a walk. Keep right on walking until you fetch up in the river." : "What fur? What have I done?" "You are too bbmed honest! Walk!" The old man stepped out, and when the door closed after him he turned .and regarded the crockery man looking at him through the glass. It was a long minute before he got it all straight. Then be spit on the palm-of his left hand, made a 'fist of his right, and, bringing it down with a great "spat!" he shouted : . "Hanged if this hain't an everlasting lessen to me ! From- this minit to the day of my death every wallet I find in the road III pot right down in mj breeches pocket 'an' say nuthin' to no body!" Xem Tvrh Bun. t . .. - A SMUGGLER'S PARADISE. HOW CHINAMEN GAIN ACCESS THE UNITED STATES. TO "White Men Smnjcle the Orientals on Dai t Nights From Vancouver to. Washington The Prices Charged. Looking at the map one may see that the northwest corner! ; of the State of Washington is torn off, and the space that is left is filled with water, dotted with an archipelago. ' The island of Van couver fits partially intc the gaping corner as if it had been, torn out by some gigantic convulsion. ..The tatters and debris of the rent form the archipelago. Our, national interest centred .in that corner long ago when that portion of the boundary was ia dispute, and the tension of a war feeling. was ouly relieved when a foreign arbitrator settled the boundary, and gave us the island of San Juan, the most, important in the group. The city of Victoria cocflacs nearly all the popu lation on that corner of Vancouver Isl and ; the city of Vancouver is the main settlement on tho British Columbia shore; and on our borders are such little places as Whfctcom, New . Dungeness and Port Angeles, in th State of Washington., Port Town send, on Puget Sound, is the principal American, town near by, and the head quarters of the scanty force of customs officials who are supposed to guard against the smuggling, and who are en titled to the presumption that they are . doing their best in this direction. Vic toria has only"20,000 population, Van- couver fewer still, -and the , islaads only J here and there a house. Dser abound upon these isluuds, which are heavily timbered, and the waterways between them feel the keel of but few vessels of none at all, except the smallest craft, outside the main channels. It would be hard to imagine a more difficult region to police, or a fairer field - for smugglers Old London itself has scarcely a greater tangle' of crooked and confusing thor oughfares than this archipelago possesses, and these 'vaterwaya are so narrow and . sheltered that mere oarsmen can safely and eaily travel many of them. It is a . smuggler's prradiee. ' ". " 1 Those who - transport the Chinamen are all white men. The resident Chinese act as their confederates and ,as the agents ol the smuggled men, but do no part of the actual smuggling, that is to say, the boating." The great smuggling is- of opium. The introduction of the Chinese themselves is of small account, so far as the defiance of our laws is concerned, as compared with the introduction of opium. Yet that extensive business also is car ried on by while ' men. The Chinese cannot pass to arid fro as white men can, therefore they leave' the traffic to the whites. ' . ' ' - . , These "nhite men are of the class one' would expect to find in such business. A Government employe in Victoria told me that I would "be surprised to know what important and respectable peraons . ., ..i .t i. were connected wun tna smuggling, , but as he gave ms no further.cnligbten mcnt, hn'd as I failed to obtain any proof t liat any uumber of so-called respectable men proMtcd directly by the business, I did not and do not. believe. that there arc many tuli. Those who; 'do the smug , , ghnj; of the Chinese- are. unprincipled and reckless characters. They make their- bargain's with those Chinese whose busi ness it is to arrange for the carriago of their countrymen into our country. The boats employed are small sail-boats, and -quite as small steam launches. When the . owner of one of these boats has secured a sufficient number of Chinese to make the venture profitable, "if- it succeeds, the journey is made at night, without cou-' pliance with the law, which requires vessels sailing after dark to display lights at their sides. At times h4contrabaud are landed near Port Angeles or New; Dungeness. San Juan Island, within our bordcr7i3 only twelve miles from Vic toria, and has a few Chinese resident upon it. At times Chinamen are carried' there. . Once .there they can cross to the mainland with more freedom, and with a possibility of , obtaining testimony to the effect that . they are and have long, been domiciled oh American soil., The smugglers charge. $20' to $25 for landing each Chinaman on our coast; $20 is the ordinary and usual charge 'Wherever the Chinamen are landed they find either men of tbejrowji nationality to secrete them, or white men . awaiting their ar riyal, and ready to. take them to some Chinese quarters. Once on "laid the danger of arrest is greatly lessened, and . after a newly-smuggled Chinaman has made his way to one of the largcrgtowns or citie near the coast, his fear of deten tion by our Government "vanishes rtj'.llarpcr'a Ma'azlne.1 ' ' en- Ale Btar Liver and Went 3Ia!, "The Evpiimnux live by ' fiVaJtig and hunting. In tho -water they find the eal, whal and walrus. The flcsfi of . the walrus furnishes food" and the teeth, which arr of the finct ivory, arc legal tender. Oa land are the "pokf hear, blue, foxei, geese, pelicans aad millions, of ducks. . The Esquimau used to kill the polar b?ar single handed with, spear and hunting knife: ' He would steal up near it, hurl the --pear, and a the wounded animal lu nbrc l toward him, would clone with it, arid in A hand-to- hand conflict v would begin the death struggle, nrrr.c-1 only with an eighteen- inch bunting' 'knjfe. But it was very -dangerous. Many lives were loitin such struggles, and noTadir, iinlcis with a hotgunVa single Esquimau fe'dom at tacks a po!ar bear. .We shot several of them, and vhcn we cleaned them every tlog ttat ate of their livers went mad and run howling about the shipnd finally jumped .overboard and, waa drowned. ; The polar bear ineat ha a strongj fisby tatcand is is not very palatable. The ' blue fox is the EquirauV finest game. Its fur is the rarest nnd cost licit in the world. I saw the Empress of Iljsy'a a St. Petersburg!!, on a stite occasion, c!ai in a nitntb of ,blu3 fox fur. The bluo 'ox i cliaed withdo.js and spears, but it has the cuaaing of its sp3cies and is seldom captured. VkiedQ Herald. Si I r.