- j ' , . - . . . H", ' " : 5? ' ' L-.-;l
E. F. YOUNG, Manager.
"LIVK AK1) JL.ET LljVE."
C. K. GRANTHAM, Local Editor.
VOLUME I..
DUNN, UARNETf CO., N. Ce,THUKSDA. IARCH 26, 1811.
NUMBERS
I 1
r f
1
Elxc (Central fines.
Published Every Thursday
-BY-
E. F. Joans anl G. L Grantham.
"X SUBSCRIPTIONS IN, ADVANCE:
'On Year, - . ft. CO
Six Months, - . 50
Th ire Months, - .
ADVERTISING RATES:
One Column, One Year, - - $750
1 " . " . 4VJ0
.M - 20.00
One Inch, . " " . - - m.OO
-"Contract advertisements taken at pro
Iortioimtcl v 1 rat en.
Local iilice, 10 ce'lit a line.
as ffco.id-cltif witter.
A reunion of the bine and the gray at
the WorM's Fair is proposed.
. . t
The Massachusetts Bureau of Statis
tics finds that 126,000 acre of Massa
chusetts farms have been abandoned.
Delaware is said to have more living
rx-Governors than any. other State in tho
l,r.!on. Five of them B. T. Biggs,
J-hr. I. C or'iran, James Ponder, John
Vr Hall and Charles F. Stokley are
till engaged in active business.
A number of manufacturers of Ger
many have determine"! ta try a novel ex
i trir.niit. In order to procure cheap
.meat for their employes, they have es
tablished a number of breeding places
for nhbits. The rabbits will be sold to
the men at the lowest possible prices.'
Hie experiment is looked upon with favor
m Germain-.
"There is no annexation sentiment in,
ths country," protect the New York
Trih n.?. "On the contrary, if the ques-
lion ramc up in any practical form,
the re would be a powerful opposition to
it. An l if Canada - begged to be an
nex':!, it Is possible that her request
nou'd be declined with thanks. Even
the mifiion Canadians now in thiscoun
try arc not agitating the question of An
nexation. Having annexed themselves,
they ire not at 1! noxious to let ethers
Sen stor lltegias, of Delaware, says
thnt the whipping-post and the pillory
:-re stiil retained in his State, owing to
the i:rt that the 5tate tics in the nci"!!-
O
1 --or hood of three great cities, and that it
ha to adopt unusual means to protect it
self from becoming the asylum of crimi
nals from these great centres. He is him
felf pppocd to the preservation cf these
farms cf punishment, states .the New
" ork Trihunr, although he concedes tint
their preservation has a tendency to make
c riminals give the State a wide berth.
The whipping of to-day, adds the Tri
b'the, is merely nominal and in no way
me:i,bk the brutal punishment of the
pi?t when the cat-o'-ninc-tails as a form
v f pu;;i--hnvnt was first established.
"It is a significant feet," s.ys ihc
Cvi.'rejation ilii!, "that 'teen ministers
are employed on the daily press of Js'ew
Yoik City, writing on religious topics.
H docs mt indicate missionary 'zeal oa
the part of the newspapers, but it shows
that religion is a matter of growing popu
lar interest, and that thej constituency
.which is nint valuable to the seeulai
press demands to kuow what is gcing ou
in the world of religions thought and life.
I' is e;H-;i:nu;;ng to note that seandali
concerning ministers and churches no
longer monopolize the columns devoted
to re igiou matters! .Another remarka
ble fact is that the greatest number of
looks published lat year in this countrv,
r.cxtto works of iiction, were ou religions
iubjecU, while a large propoition .of the
novels also were wpttea with religious
aims. Xn s'ubjectf occupies so large a
place in current thought as that which
concerns men's relations with Ood and
their future destine?and no other sub
ject is 50 steadily-. increasing its hold on
puhl-c atte-tipu."
In it career cf more than Reven cen
turies the Citrpration of London has
had at its hcid a uWocr of peculiar
men, stares the New York Timts, but
the present Lord 3I.y'or, Joseph Savory,
seems to be more kinds of an ass than is
usual, e.veti lamong city Aldermen. His
exploit in writing a letter to the Czar
bbout the Hebrews, which was returned
unopened, and his attack upon General
Booth were enough themselves to settlo
his ttatu, even by-the feeble intellectual
nanuar Is of M.iycfralty succession, but
he has beta caught now ia a tiling which
covers him with ridicule. He preached
the sermou to the y-.Ming men at Poly
technic Sunday week, which was print
ed ia full by a shorthand report in the
course of a few days. It was then dis
covered that the sermon was identical
vrith one preachci by Spurgeon in 1864
Xo. 552 in his printed series. Savory
then declared that he had never seen the
s?rmm in question, whereupon tha two
were published in parallel colums, niAk-.
ibti the plagiurikai unmbtakkble.
GREATER THAN LOVE. '
Why do they rave of loye, tbeoe poets who
Tempt heaven's very 'airs to hear them
rave?
Is there naught ela to prais-j 'neath heaven
blue,
taught else to slnj above the sounding
wave? -
Brave men lived long ere Agamemnon died;
What braver theme for aye than brnve
men's deeds?
Brave women their whole, sex have sancti
fied By gentle eourae 'neath a woman's
weeds!
Faith toward God an J man, awl woman,
too;
For all who suffer, hops and charity!
rhese are the heavenest things beneath the
bine.
The noblest themes above the sounding
sea!
The Continent.
A GOTHAM INCIDENT.
.
, characters :
Ethel Va Bexsselaer.
IFarrt Shipman, her cousin.
Dr. Potter, a rising young physician.
Anoelo, a newsboy.
Passengers in a street ear, et;.
Scene A crowded Madison avenue
car.
Enter Miss Van IteLSselaer, in an ap
proved Lenten gown of pale gray, and a
demure little poke. , She sinks into the
only remaining seat with a sigh of
relief.
Ethel (to herself): There is that good
looking young doctor I met at Mrs.
Smythe's last week. . I suppose he
thought me very frivolous. I wonder if
he would know me if I should bow;
Glances with a careless air toward the
corner seat, and finds the young man
looking at her with a puzzed air, where
upon she bows demurely, and he raises
his hat, still looking as if he were not
quite sure of her identity.
Ethel (to herself) : I might as well bf
one of the mummies at the Museum of
Art, to judge by the expression, on his
lace. Indeed, I suppose if I were a
mummy he would feel more interest.
Turns around and pretends to be deeply
interested in a paper-covered volume of
Daudet which she carries.
Dr. Potter (to himself): There is that
pretty Miss Van Rensselaer wdiom I saw
somewhere oh, 'twas, at Mrs. Smythe's
I'm afraid she thought me 'awfully dull
because I talked of nothing but the
weather. That's always an interesting
subject to a doctor, though, especially
this winter. Ileigho? I'm a fool to
imagine that she gave a thought -to me
fter w.e parted, favorable, or otherwise;
probably 'twas otherwise, if anything.
At this point he is cut short in his re
flections by the car stopping at the Park
Avenue Hotel, where a number of women
enter. As he rises to give his scat to
one of them, enter a small newsboy on
crutches, with a dark Italian face and
pathetic brown eyes. He holds a small
bunch of lead pencils, and almost in
stantly every lady in the car opens her
purse. The boy has pulled off his red
cap to receive the liberal shower of dimes
and . nickels, but does not even make a
feint of giving his papers or pencils in
return.
Dr. Potter (to himself): If Miss .Van
Rensselaer hasn't offered that boy her
scat! Lazy little rascal !
As the boy reached her seat 3Iiss Van
Rensselaer had jumped up impulsively,
but the boy rather shamefacedly shook
his head, and she sank back, blushing,
and feeling that the eyes of .the whole
car were upon her. j
Ethel (to hersell): There! You have
made agcose of yourself, and all for the
sake of making a good impression on a
young man who didn't even remember
you until you bowed', to him. I'm
ashamed of you !
The car stops, several people get off.
Dr. Potter draws Angelo to a seat beside
him.
Dr. Potter (to Angelo): Now, my
boy, I am going to buy you pencils, but
I shall not give you the" money. 1 shall
pay for the pencils, and take them.
That's a profitable trade you've just
carried on, but it isn't exactly according
to business principles, you know or any
other principles for that matter.
Miss Van Rensselaer rises to leave the
car, dropping her book as she does so.
While Dr. Potter is recovering it for her
he speaks in a low tone to Angelo, and
then, having kept the car waiting a suit
able time, she smiles graciously oa Dr.
Potter and departs.
Girl in Redfern Gown (to artistic girl
by her side): Pretty? Ye-s but not
half so pretty as Eva. Still, her gowns
are always pretty, and that makes such a
difference.
Artistic Girl : She is the sort of girl
that men always admire. Did you no
tice hew that young doctor never took
his eyes off of her? I met him at a dance
last month, but he doesn't remember me.
School-girl (looking cfter Miss Van
Rensselaer) How perfectly sweet the
Is!
Scene In the Berkeley Lyceum.
Ethel Van Rensselaer (to her cousin, a
youth who is carefully training a mouc
tcche) : Do see Kate Schuyler's sweet
little pin not that one, the enameled
one with the diamond dewdrop. Do
you know, I never have jewelry enough i
People are always sending me candy and
flowers. I do wish they would be more
generous!
A pause, during which her cousin as
sists in removing her wrap
Uthe!: I've been wearing nothiug but
old dude all winter because I wanted to
save my money to buy gowns in Paris.
"We are going over in Mat. But. do you
kaow?. I've already spent my allowance
tip to July.
ITarry: Last Julv?
Ethel: Next July! And, realiy. I
have hardly a thing to show fcr it. Ycu
see, papa gave me my Redfern habit, and
mamma gave me my bridesmaid's dress
that I wore at Mary's wedding. So, ac
tually, all my money was spent on my
Josephine gown. But it is perfectly
wut you hiYtu't seen it jet? Weil,
it has a diagonal row of -green -and-gold
beetles edging tho folds. Oh, I'm so
glad Mrs. A. sings now! Isn't she sweet?
The other night, at Amy's musicale, she
sang the cutest songs!
Quiet during the song.. As the last
chord is played, Ethel coughs.
Ethel: There! I had to keep from
coughing so long it nearly killed me.
Low voice from next row (grimly)
Keep from talking, you mean. I should
think it would !
Ethel turns scarlet and looks intently
at her programme for a few moments.
Then glancing up, she for the first time
observes Dr. Potter, in the vicinity.
Ethel (to herself, in a horrified tone) :
l am absolutely certain he. has heard
everything I have said this wholo even
ing. What will he think of a girl who
talks about gowns and-things all the
time? (To Har. v. sternM : Did vou read
Bryce's "Commonwealth!" -Harry
(uneasily): Xo-o. 1
1 ; ;
The fact is,
a fellow gets behind in his leading when
he's training. You see, a senior has s j,
many clubs and then you girls are al--ways
besieging us to go to your teas and
dances.
Ethel (still sternly) : You djn't have
to go to dances in Lent. .
Harry (assuming the offensive): Well,!
wnat do you do in Lent? , ?
Ethel (promptly): Oo to the Stoddard
readings and the Browning classes; and
there are the Bulow recitals. And theu
I lunch somewhere every day and drive
in the park afterward. Ou, and iide
horseback and go to church. I have the
loveliest new prayer book; Harry; ivory
bound wiih silver corners!
Dr. Potter (to himself) : How much
interested she is in that insignificant
young fellow. Wonder if she's engaged.
That is just like a fashionable girl, to go
and throw herself away on a boy with
out any brains.
Ethel (to Harry) : Isn't Marie Bash
kirtseff charming? She had aa awfully
hard time, though. There's something
really pathetic in her struggles to reach
fame. Such undying energy
circumstance.
resisting
Low voice from behind : Nothing like
energy! especially when it resists the ir
rational idea that music should jireclude
conversation. '
Ethel (with dignity): Society is 60
mixed now. Even at the Berkeley un
desirable people will crowd in. Oh,
Harry, I haven't told you about my vio
let luncheon! The other girls have had
so many "rose" things that I was tired
to death of American beauties, and the
rest of them, and so I gave myself a
headache'studying up something new.
I didn't bother about the menu, but let
mamma arrange all that and just gave
myself up to the violet idea. I massed
violets in a centre basket, had wreaths of
violets around each plate, and the cloth
embroidered with violets, all the sweets
were candied violets, the candles were
violet-shaded, and the napkins were filled
with looso violets. The girls were just
enchanted, but I could see they were
jealous, too.
Harry: I don't wonder. Co-ne on,
Ethel. Stupid concert. Aren't you
glad it's over? .
Dr. Potter (impatiently to himself) : I
am thankful this thing is through. I
would go and speak to her if she had
eyes for any one beside that callow youth.
As it is, I don't choose to be snubbed,
even by a pretty girl.
Ethel (mournfully): He is gointr out
without even looking this way. I wish I
were intellectual nnd homely. No, I
don't, either. Probably he would fancy
a "bud" who knows nothing at all more
than a girl in her second season.
. o
Scene On the step3 of a small tene
ment on the East Side. -
Dr.. Potter: How did you come here?
Ethel: Why?
Dr. Potter: I beg your pardon, but
it seems an odd place to fiad a young
lady.
Ethel (flushing): Angelo is my pro
tege ; I have taken him into my mission
class.
Dr. Potter And so you come and
visit him, I see. He is improving great
ly. I did not know he was receiving
such instruction.
Ethel : I believe you are jealous of
any one but yourself teaching Angelo! ,
Dr. Potter (carelessly): Not at all.
He is merely an interesting study to me.
Ethel: I am interested in Angelo,
not in a'ceitain type of boy at a . certain
stage of development.
Dr. Potter: Perhaps not, but you
are
Ethel (interrupting) : I am not.
Dr. Potter: Not what?
Ethel : Not what you were going to
call me.
Dr. Potter: Are you a sorceress who
divines the thoughts of men?
Ethel: It only required the divining
powers of a nineteenth century young
woman to know that you meant some
thing disagreeable.
Dr. Potter: We will waive the. ques
tion. Are you going up town! Shall we
take a car?
Ethel: A Madison avenue car?
Dr. Potter: Yes; it will remind us of
our first meeting with Angelo.
Ethel: Angelo has a great deal to
answer for.
Dr. Potter: In what -way?
Ethnl : I never cared so much for ap
pearances before I saw Angelo.
Dr. Potter: What enigmas you are
talking. Enlighten my stupidity.
Ethel. 'What an unusual admission for
a man. 8uch hutrility deserves encour
agement.' As for an explanation of my
rnvsterious words: to besia with, An
gelo brings our newspapers.
Dr. Potter; He brings mine; but is
that so remarkable?
Ethel: It is remarkable that a little
newiboy should have so excited the in
terest of a physician who, if his practice
is rather small, has certainly enough to
do without teaching every rewsboy he
comes across.
Dr. Potter. You don't understand.
Angelo waa especially interesting because
well, because I had just seen some one
I care a great deal for.
Ethel: And you were feeling so benign
toward the world that vou were interested
it
in humanity in
AgcIo l'?j,
particular.
J)r. Potter (aside):
Angelo in general!
and Ethel an Rensselaer in particular.' :
(Aloud.) I3ut you promised to expiaiaj
vour verv obscure words.
: Ethel: I think better of it, and roup!
know it is a woman's privilege to change
her mind. . '-'
Dr. Potter : I supposed that nowadays j
young women did not choose. to'exercisaij
their old prerogatives, they hve so many;
new ones. -
. Ethel : They have few enough, takings
old and new together. They have beeut,;
walking rapidly meanwhile, very mucbf;
absorbed in each other, and are nowy
nea ring ladison avenue.
Ethel (suddenly) : TheTe he is!
Dr. Potter looks across the street and
discovers Harry Ship man
along.
saunterinc?"-
Dr. Potter (to himself): That fellow!:'
and how much-pleasure in her tone.
Ethel (impressively) : I must speak "to
him.
Dr. Potter: I will leave you in his "
hands. Good-morning. . .
Ethel (surprised) : Woa'i you speak to;)
him, too? Have you quarreled? '
Dr. Potter (stifny) : Never having had;;
the honor of meeting him, I have hardly?
had the opportunity of doing so. (Aside.)
I should cordially like to.
Ethel (in blank amazement) : Whatare;
you talking about? You are dreadfully?
mysterious. (Aside:) lie must be so
deeply immersed in his., .own scientific!
thoughts that he hasn't heard a word Ive
been saying. (Aloud, sarcastically.);
Evidently Angelo and I are equally un
I worthy of your attention. . I am sorry1
to have forced you to .waste so muchh
valuable time. ft
Dr. Potter (bewildered): Angelo -andr)
you ! Unworthy cf my attention !
since you first decline to speak to himJ
and then show such a desire to leave my
society.
Dr. Potter: Decline to speak to An-.
gelo! '!"
Ethel: Whv do vou repeat mv.words?
But the poor boy didn't experience yourtH
uncmancss, ana tuat is iortunate. .
Angelo, who ha? been hanging around
the corner, now boards a car, waving his
cap to the slowly advancing Miss Van;
Rensselaer and Dr. Potter. '.
Dr. Potter (seeing Angelo for theft
first time) : Was it Angelo you meant alii.
this time?
Ethel: Of course I meant Angelo. He
w?s right. on the corner. .
Dr. Potter : Then it wasn't that
significant little wretch !
1 1
Ethel
Little wretch?
S
my-f
Dr.
words
Potter: Now you
repeat
Ethel: There goes a car.
Dr. Potter: No; it's a green
(After a pause.) Oh, Ethel, I wish you
liked me a little bit. $
Ethel : I do ; but not so much as :
Dr. Potter (augrily): You needn't fry .
tantalize me. I hate coquettes.. . ;j
Ethel (demurely) : As Angelo, I wa.
going to say. i
Dr. Potter (laughing) : Angelo is oui?f
srooa srenius. it was nis little venture in ;
pencils that made our fortune good" for A
tune, I mean. . f-
Ethel: I think it was a Madison jt.
avenue car.
Dr. Potter: The two combined Ani
gelo and the horse car. But, Ethel, you"
haven't answeied my question;. Signalsj
to approaching car. j;
Ethel (mischievously, as the car stops
preparing to get on) : I didn't know you
had asked any. Frank Leslie1 It&
luUrated. f
Tame Rats. . , ' .
Five large rats are the peculiar pets ofr
Charles Perkins, who lives on Nobl
street, says the Philadelphia Press. Thf ;
rodents evince great affection for himji!
following him about the
house, lik4!;.
doss, run up his sleeve and come outav
the breast, nestle around the rim of bin
hat and perform a variety of tricks buc
as leaping through a wire hoop anf
di awing a coach, four of fliem acting ai
horses and one as driver.
if
Asked how he tamed the rats, Perkinf
answered;
"It is very easy when you knof
how." I
"Well, what is the how?"
"Simply, I trap a rat in a cage an
then examine him carefully to see if h
is young and not too vicious. Having
selected a proper specimen, Itake'hirt
to the yard and drop him in a barre';
half filled with water. " If he tries tt
clamber up the tides, I. throw him hacj
and keep him in the water until he ii
completely exhausted. When he is jus; j
about to go under I take him out, pouij
a little brandy down his throat with 'j
syringe and take him to the stove .wher,
I wrap him in a piece of blanket, coddh j
him and nurse him back ''to .life. S
grateful is he that he remains my slave
forever after, fawns on me and becomes
quite a pet." ' , -
Mandrake, or Gallows Plant. Ij
Many singular stories arc related coffj
cerning the mandrake, or gallows plant '
The roots were formerly supposed t(
bear a strong resemblance to the humaf ;
form, and are figured as such in the ohj j
herbals, being distinguished vas to sei)
by the respective roots having long haifi
or long beard. During the Middle Ag'eiS
mandrake was declared to grow no placj
except upqn the scene of some teniblf i
crime, or where someone had suffere;
the death of a felon. Some writers saij
that the plants of it which grew under j
gallows were the result of corruptior
dripping from dead "bodys"' left long
the chains, "When dug up," they saidj
"it would utter a great shriek or a terri
ble groan." "If a man pull up a mac
drake, " says an old-time writer, "hot
will turely die soon, thereafter. In com
mon prudence it is, best fo tie-a dog t
the plant, and thus eScape the evil thy
self." The poet says:
' j:
Mark how that rooted mandrake wear :p
His human feet, bis human hands; , j
Oft as his shapely form he rears, i,'
Aghast the i lightened ploughman stands, r
t St. Louis HepuUic. ,1
Potatoes were not planted ia Nev
England telds until 1718.
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ABB TOI.D BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE FBE3S.
Tale or the Sea And. Lashings ot
It A Comprehensive Terra Eu
ro recti Abstinence, Ktc, Etc.
The captain was fat and obese.
: Waa ponderous, heavy itnd stout.
lOi096ai ana Jtsrobdingnagese,
A corpulent, chubby-faced lout.
,' The sailor was dumpy and quat,
A petty, piirmvtical dwarf.)
A stunted two-decimo tot,
A tiny, wee, puny sa wed-off.
The sailor declined to obey i
The captain's emphatical hints;
The captain sat on him that day
The sailor has not appeared since.
New York Sun.
A COMPREHENSIVE TERM.
Small Boy "What is an egotist?'1
Big Man "One who talks about him
self while you are aching to talk about
yourself." Pue.fr.
AND LASHINGS OP IT.
"I should think poor Peckt would be
mad to find himself tied for life to such
a virago." , V
"Yes, he's lashed to a perfect Fury."
ENFORCED ABSTINENCE.
"Do you play the banjo?"
. "Not when there are any people
around. -y
"wnynot?"
"They won't let me."
APPEALED TO HIS 6ELFISIINES3,
Mrs. Cobwigger "However did you
induce your husband to get that nice
electric motor to run your machine?"
Mrs. Youighusband "I told, him it
would rock the cradle as well." Epoch.
ECONOMY IN HIQH LIFE.
Mrs. Forundred "We must retrench
on our expenses this year, my dear."
Mr. Forundred "Very well; I'll be
gin by telling my friends tljat my $500
Russian poodle only cost $250." Epoch.
THE WORK OF TIME S SICKLE.
"Ugh!" said the Indian, in disgust.
"What's the matter, Swallqw-tail?"
asked the agent.
"Big Injun -chase, white man four
mile. Want scajp. Catch white man.
Ugh! white man bald." Bazar. '
ONE OR THE OTHER.
. Cleverton "Not long ago I made an
agreement with a friend to exercise-an
hour a day for a year at the gymnasium.
I'll be-hanged if it wasn't destroyed by
fire last night !" 4
Dashaway "Ah-ha! Which one of
you burned it?" Judge.
A JJODEUN IMPROVEMENT.
- ''How's this, Dauber? You've painted
r Father Time with a mowing machine in
stead of a sevthe?
- "That's all" right, We artiste of the
modern school keep up with inventive
progress." Munsey'a We'.ly.
QUESTION ABLE. POLISH.
Warden "One prisoner we received
to-day is said by the inspector to be an
old offender; yet he seems to be a pol
ished gentleman."
Turnkey -"I know him well; he has
been ironed enough times to account for
his polish." , ' '
THEIR GOD FA r HERS TO BLAME. " ;
"There is one thing I don't like about
the attaches of the Russian legation--something
I don't think is consistent
with good breeding." w
What is that?"
"They are forever calling one another
hard names." Ka te Field' Washington.
WHAT HUNGER CAN DO.
Mrs. knickerboDker "There was a
policeman in the kitchen, courting-our
ugly old cook.
. Mr. Knickerbocker "What! Why,
she is sixty years old, and as ugly as a
crazy quilt. Well, that policeman must"
have been hungry for a fact." Texas
Sitings.'
A PURELY BUSINESS MOTIVE.
Mr. Lozier Hope "May I may I
speak to your father, 'Miss Cote?"
Miss Vera Cole "It" is useless, Mr.
Hope I can never be your wife."
- Mr. Lozier Hope "Excuse me, I wish
to speak to him about that fifteen dollars
he borrowed of me week before last.
-I'm getting a little nervous about it."
.Puck.
NOMENCLATURE ONLY AT FAULT.
Husband (just married) "You want
to know what I like best? Of all things
I like liver dumplings, -sauer-kraut and
blood pudding.".
Wife "Oh, for shame, Adolph! So
prosaic and common."
"Can I help it if such divine-tasting
things have prosaic names?" Flitgende
Biattter.
. . THE SARCASTIC CONDUCTOR.
"I'll have to ask fare for him, .ma'am."
said the conductor as he went through
the railway train.
That little fellow?"
"Yes'm." '
"Why, he is in his childhood, sir."
"Is he?'' inquired the conductor,,
thoughtfully. "First or second, ma'am?'
Washington Post.
KNEW HIS CAPACITY.
Kicks "Sorry haven't any time
to
hear you to-day. I m in
an awful
hurry."
Wicks "Oh, I am not going to keep
you long. I only want to tell you what
I think."
Hicks "Tell me what you think?
Oh, if that's all, go ahead. I've time
enough for that.!' Boston Transcript.
HOME DECORATION.
, Mrsi Fatpurse "You paint pictures
io order,, don't you?"
Great Artist Yes, madam."
Mrs. Fat purse "Wll, I want a land
scape, with lots of deer, and docks, and
quail, and reed birds, and cattle, and
sheep, and pigs, and so on, you know;
and put a lake and an ocean in fresh
and salt water, you know ; and be sure to
have plenty of fish swimmiag around,
because it's for the dining room.'-' 2VrM
York Weekly. '
DID THE DOCTOR EARN HIS FES.
Defendant "Now, docthor, by vartne
of your oath, didn't I say: 4 Kill or
cure, docthor, I'll give, you a , guinea!'
and didn't you say: 'kill or cure, I'll
take it?'" 6 j
Doctor "You did ; and I agreed to
the bargain, and I want the guinea ac
cordingly." ! I
Defendant Now, docthor, by vartu?
of 'your oath, answer this: 'Did yuu
cure my wife?' " - ' . J
Doctor "No; she's dead. You know
that." - I
Defendant "Then docthor, by vartue
of your oath, answer this: 'Did you kill
mytvife?'" .
Doctor "No; she died of her ill
ness." . ,
Defendant (triumphantly, to the
Bench) ; 'Your worship, see this. You
heard him tell our bargain ; it was to kill
or cure. By virtue of his oath, he .done
neither, and yet he axes his feeJ" The
Green Bag. j
BROKE THE RECORD.
In these days of popular cynicism .as
to the reliability of human nature an in
cident that occurred at, 'a down-town
hotel a few days ago cannot be too widely
disseminated.. ' !
A gentleman in the breakfast-room,
who had just finished the extended per
usal of all the morning papats, including
the "want" ads of the Examiner r was
startled by the unexpected reappearance
of the waiter with his meal.' I
Warmly grasping the hash-hander's dis
engaged hand he said in a voice choked
by emotion : ' ,, ; ;
"I knew you would return! They
started a rumor' a couple of hour3 ago
that you had eloped with the cook, or
something but I said, 'No; give him
lime gentlemen give him a chance. It
will all come out right in the end.' I
knew you would turn up again, if only
to bring me an oit cruet with a fly I in
it." , i-x ' I -
And the - excited guests gave the
lightning waiter an enthusiastic send-off
as he left again in ballast for an invoice
of buckwheat cakes. San Francisco Ex
aminer.
WHY THEY CALLED IT CRANBERRY PIE.
"Yes," said the red-nosed man on the
end stool, speaking in a loud, incisive
tone, "I'll take a piece of cranberry
pie
"Young feller," he continued, ad
dressing the waiter, "do you know any
good reason why this pie should be called
cranberry pie?" - f
The waiter evidently construed the
inquiry as being in a degree a critical
allusion to the food. He looked severely
at the red-nosed man.
"If you don't like the pie," he said
loftily, "I will get you another piece.'!
"The pie's all right, s'far's I can seeJ I
just ask you a question. Why should
this pie be caued cranberry pic?" j
The waiter softened perceptibly, j A
smile illuminated his countenance as he
murmured ' something to the effect that
he didn't know. He'd give it up. .
"Gentlemen," and the red-nosed man
included in his glance the occupants of
the dozen stools nearest him, "can any
of you give me a good reason why this
pie should be called cranberry piet" j
The gentlemen addressed made no re
ply Thej stared at the red-nosed man
a moment and then at the pie, but said
not a word. . ! ' ' I
"Tiiat's a new gag," observed the
waiter.
"No gag about it," retorted the red
nosed man earnestly. . I
The third man to the right laughed
hoarsely, and abandoned his . fricasseed
chicken long enough to declare it to be
his opinion that there existed no valid
reason for calling the pie cranberry pie.
f'YouTe mistaken," said the red-nosed
party; "there's a good reason."
"What is it?'' "ventured the waiter,
and all within hearing stopped eating to
listen.
"Because it is made of cranberries."
For some moments nothing was heard
but the sound of the red-nosed man stow
ing away his pie, mingled with the hum
of industry unon the crowded streets
without. Detroit Times.
Romantic Courtship of Standing1 Bear.
An interesting quintette arrived at the
Barge Office in New Yoik City recently
on the Hamburg steamship, Scandia.
They were Mr. and Mrs. Standing Bear,
their . children and Standing Bear's
father-in-law and mother-in-law. Stand
ing Bear was one of Buffalo 'Bill's In
dians. Mrs. Standing Bear is a short.
plump; dark-eyed young German wo
man, i
She met Standing Bear while Buffalo
Bill's show was in Vienna, a little over
two years ago. Standing Bear attracted
the young woman who had been a widow
less than a year. They were married
after a courtship of only two months and
a bright, bouncing little boy is the result
of the. union. The child has none of the
features characteristic of the Indian.
There is a romance connected with
Standing Bear's courtship. Mrs. Stand
ing Bear's father ran a .little bakery in
Vienna. "Oa Standing Bear's first visit
to the. bakery he saw Louise, who was a
bright, vivacious young woman. Stand
ing Bear became smitten at once, but the
warrior Souix had a hard time wooing
his s weetheart. The Teutonic tongue was
more than he could master.
Louise surmounted this little barrier
to their courtship. She determined to
learn the Sioux language and she proved
so apt a scholar that it was only a short
time before the little widow could chat
quite intelligently with her Sioux lover
in bis native tongue. As soon as Louise
could talk to Standing Bear they became ,
engaged and were soon afterward mar
ried. San Francisco ChrvnicU.
THE -SOLDIERS OF CHILI
THEY HAVE "WONDERFUL, ENDUE
ANCE AND FEW NEEDS- f
Able to March Thirty Mile Day
Points or Interest About ft South
American Army. ,
The news that a whole regiment and
three battalions, of infantry stationed
near PIsagua, Chili, have shot their
officers and gone over to the insurgents
is generally regarded as especially omin
ous for the Chilian Government, which
has fewer troops to lose than usually
has beeu supposed. Even' on paper the
entire standing army of Chili contains
but 5719 men and G07 oflicers. . These
troops are included in eight battalions
of infantry, one battalion of sappers and
miners, three regiments of , cavalry,; two
regiments of field artillery, and oue bat
talion of coast artillery. The force was
distributed at the breaking out of the
revolution as follows: In the northern
provinces, Tacna, Iquique, aud .Antasa
gasto, two battalions, one regiment of
cavalry, and one regimen, of artillery;
near the middle of the country, that is
between Valparaiso and Santiago, three
, battalions, two regimeuts of cavalry, two
brigades of artillery, and one brigade of
coast artillery; to the, south three bat
talions, a battalion of sappers and miners,
and one regiment' of cavalry. The,
effective strength of the Chilian army,
however, falls far below these figures.
In 1890 it was estimated - at only 2305
men; since, during the period between
January 1 and November 1, 1158
privates had deserted.
. This rather desperate stte of affairs is
due to several faults of army organiza
tion as well ns ths persistent interference
of influential politicians in the technical
management of the soldiers. "In tho first
place Chili is the only country in the
world that unites a regular volunteer
service with an. obligatory militia ser
vice. All members of the regular army
receive liberal pay, after the system
prevalent in the United- States. Once
enlisted,-however,, the soldier is not
held so strictly to the duties of the ser
vice as with us. By the personal in-
fluence of friends, by petty bribery," and -in
a hundred other .ways he may secure
his release without incurring arrest for
desertion. . '
At the head -of the Chilian military
organization stands a Minister of War.
This Minister is known among the for
eigners in Chili as the most "nomadic
official" in the Chilian Cabinet. . It is by
no means infrequent 'that a ChilianiMin
istry falls five or six months aftr its
organization. Often, indeed, Ministers
resign four or five weeks after' having
been named for ofiicc. This fickleness
of the head administrator, combined ,
with the division of responsibility be
tween him and two Inspector-Generals,
is regarded as one of, the most fruitful
causes of the demoralization of the regu
lar service. Tho drill, moreover, is con
ducted on the most antiquated lines.
The cavalry, for instance, follows the
Spanish regulations of 1807. The
weapons of the troops on the other hand
are modern. The artillery has Knipp
guns, and the infantry Mannhcher rifles.
The arsenals and repair shops arc under
the supervision of German officers. The
Chilian militia has a nominal strength
of 48,602 privates and 2119 officers
Last year, however, only 1055 officers
and 7,00d men could bo found for
duty. All the rest had "disappeared,"
the technical expression in Chili for de
sertion. A source of weakness of the
recruiting service in Chili is the law
that whoever serves as a volunteer", fire
man shall be exempt from military obli
gations. Hence it is that Chili has the
largest and most willing force of volun
teer firemen of all . countries in the
world.
Despite all the deficiencies of the or
ganization, and the wide gap in every
division of the army, the Chilian army
is far "from being as completely ineffi
cient as the armies of most of the neigh
boring States. The Chilian soldier has
two inherent qualites which render hini
superior to all other South Americans, as
well as to many Europeans on the battle
field.) Her has wonderful endurance and
few needs. With a little water and a
few bites of bread he is able to preserve
his strength throughout forced marches
of which the European soldier hardly
dreams. During the last war with Peru
he showed this quality of endurance to
a remarkable degree. . Considerable
bodies of Chilian infantry marched fre
quently thirty miles a day. Chilian cav
alry, moreover, often covered, marching
day and night, sixty miles at a stretch.
The explanation of this exceptional phys
ical energy of the cavalry is to be found
in the fact that every Chilian is at home
on horseback, aud that the horses have,
staying powers when oa the gallop (the
only gait the cavalry knows) which Eu
ropean horses never attain to. The com
mon conclusion, however, that the Chil
ians are weak on their feet because strong
on horseback is entirely false. Not only
is4 the average Chilian horseman an ex
ceptionally persevering pedestrian, but
often the fastest foot courier in the world. .
The regular military vcouriers are . fre
quently able to cover between fifty and
sixty miles a day, and a, Chilian private
of. iOnly 'slightly extraordinary running
ability has been known to make, often
under a load of forty pounds, forty or
forty-five miles a 'day.-AVi York Sun.
UalMdlaff Freight by Eleetrlclty.
Electricity is now being much used for
the unloading of lumber and other Ir. ight
from vessels in conjunction with a whip
hoisting drum.. The power used is an
electric motor, which is connected by
belt with-the shaft which 'operate the .
drums. Each drum is operated by a
lever, and can be stopped in an instant.
When the lumber is drawn from Jhe ves
sel, a large hook from the whary derrick
is attached, and the sticks are transferred
to any part of the yard. The entire pull
ing, twisting and transferring is done by
electric power. Commercial Advertiser..'
' St. Paul, Minn.,
134,000, Las an
miles,
with , a population of -area
of 55J square
K
j
II