0
f
Central Argus.
M.J. MtI.ol
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NQVEMUKIi 4,
. 188' )
Mnko the lUst of Tiling.
We excuse a man lor an occn
aional'deprevi u j'ist as we erj
dure'a rniny day. Cut who could
endure 305 days of cold drizzle ?
Yet titers are thusr who, without
cessation, continue to weari .som
ber look, as it chared with evil
progi! 's:ication. We tn iy be lorn
with a melancholy tpmperamenf,
but tiiat'w no reason why we
shuul.i yield to it. There if a way
fi nhuflYmz the burdeD. In the
lottery of life there are more pri
ze drawn th in blanks, and to one
misfortune there are fifty fit! van
tages. Despondency is the'most
unprofitable teeling a man c iu
have. One ood lauli is a botnb
shell'explodin in the right place
while jj1si and discontent is a
jjuri that kicks over tha nnn that
shoots it off. Some must have got
into heaven backward. Let us
utand off from despondencies.
Listen'Tor xweet notes rather than
discord's. In a word where God
liius ut exquisite tin'e upon the
shell washed in the stir! and plrni
teil a paradis' if bloom in a child's
cheek, let us leave it to the 01 t
hoot and the to id to croak, and
the lault-finder to complain, 'fake
ut-duor exercise iml avoid late
euppeis, if you. would ever have a
cheerful dispos tion. The habit of
complaint lijially drops into peev
ishness and people become wasp
ish ai.d unaprofichable . . . Bap.
Week.
IIo letlItatc-M Over the Oys
iter. It was ritfher late yesterday
morning when Mr. Wi'daby got up
and he wa vaguely conscious of a
confused recollection of the things,
that happened the night before,
and he didn't say mucn,aid tried
-to appnar as cheerful as he knew
how. Presently breakfast was an
nounced, and the family took their
places at the table, but Mr. Wil
laby was amazed, as he sat staring
at six little round wooden boxes of
axle-greuse solu,uly in trout of his
plate.
Where under the sun,' he said,
with puzzled ironatiou, 'whi.t iu
thun-ler wh did all tin- axle
grease come !.";n, aud wba ia ii
lor? .
'Oh, is it a;ve-grease?; aski 1 his
wife, with charming sim : i ' icity
aud innocence, just a trille ver
doue. 'You.c ;i i last night when
you brought t!.e.-a cans home thai
they were oysters, and would be
nice hu bieak:.fct. 1 thought you
had b. KvT eat them right away,
us the. didn't wnell as thuutiii
they wi-uld keep much longer.
Ai.'l then .Mrs. Wiilahy ret:.ov
ei t'.. ..-uus, and her husoauii sat
and oked i.t the teapot aud
thought so lo'ig that his coflte was
as col I as a rich relation when he
began to drink it..
to
forg-
If a man blows his own trump
et, can his opinions be Round ?"
W hea may a smith be said
commit fedony ? When he
en.
Oblige people to pay as they go i
ana tne majority or them would go
slow.
Sparking across a garden fence
admits of a great dea-1 being said
on both sides.
A. tombstone in Maine, erecsejd
to the memory of a wife, bears
the inscription, 'Tears cannot re
store her therefore 1 weep.'
'Hope deferred maketh the heart
sick and a liberal supply of cu
cumbeis causeth the colic.
UCHTNINC SEW
WILSON
OSCILLATING
SHUTTLE SEWING MACHINE
'D
straws
rowning
meu clutch at
Yes; and so do drinkin
men especial y in lemonade seas
on .
uu tI wl
i VJ & !
A Chicago widower has a fine
Louse ofbrowu stone and brick
aud he w,ts to know, Utore
choosing a secoud wite whether a
blonde or a hrLnette would best
harmonize with the colors of the
fctructure.
To procure a divorce is called
cAurtiug alter marriage.
a seni-iimemai geutiemaa in
tends to petition for a grant te
improve the chauels of affection,
so that henceforth the 'course of
true love may run smooth.'
A modern surgical operaUou :
to 'Take the cheek oat of a young
man, aud the jawbone out of a
woman.'
A sagacious philosopher ob
served tnat if the earth really is
hollow, w; all live upon a mere
crust.
Aunt: 'Has any one beeu at
these preserves ?' (Dead silence.)
'Have you touched them, Jemmy?'
Jeiuui): 'Pa never 'lows me to
talk at dinner.' i
Huxley says 'there was a time
whn men walked on all-fours.
He probably alludes to that inter
esting time in erly life of us all,
when we approached a neighbor's
melon patch trom the hack
way.
A Vassar Co. lege girl ead a
paper to prove that piithologa
yrrh spelled Turner. Her argu
ment was that pbth, as iu phthis
ic, ia t; olo, as in colonel, is ur; gu
as ia gnat, is u; yrrh, is er.
I am afraid it is mixed goods,'
said the lady to the clerk. 'Oh no
madam, impossible,' replied the
polite clerk. 'All our camel-bair
shawls are made of pure silk di
rect from the worm . '
lhen a boy falls aud peels the
skin off his nose, the first thing he
does is to get up and yell. When
a girl tumbles and hurts herself
badly, the first thiugshe does is to
get up and look at her dress.
Goods injured by fire have such
a ready s a.e when advertised, that
we really believe that if some one
should announce a sale of powder
saved from a powder-mill explo
sion, it would go off readily.
A Galveston man met a gentlft
niau from Northern Texas atid
asked how a certain mutual friend
was coming on. 'He is doing very
well,' was the reply. 'What busi
ness is he at ?' 'He has got the
softest tiling in Ihe world of it.
He bought a lot of Mexican don-
kies at iSan Antonia at $3 a piece,
and having taken them up to
ranche, he cleares
them.1 Do they b.
L'..4 . ' Jjfhe lets the
company has tot
piece for them.1 PaJ
Don't read
THE BEST
SEWING MACHINE
XIV TKH
SEND FOR ILLUSTRATED CATA
LOGUE No. 230. -AN AGENT
WILLDELIVER A MACHINE AT YOUR
RESIDENCE, FREE OF CHARGE,
SUBJECT TO APPROVAL.
Address WILSON SEWING MACHINE CO.
12a & 131 State St., Chicago, Illinois, U. S. A.
4 "W c mtui t; ho has once ued tho
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whiu the-
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BILL A'RP WKITEs FU
ls'a briRijt, handsora-- !!.
ought to be wekxmel tv
need of louniais l-vot..l t..
wmeJ on the confilidn: !
wdl now have, at a Tnw k.
any publi'hed in Amr.ir:i.
eombinai on (fpserve Mirr.
deed, we Aoubt If any h.
favorable aiifcnioe." M " '.
published SttaVh.' Aaitti iiuuru-r,
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ftlow this Uoe.
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