Tb Wayside Gang Page
Editor - Damfino •
Adv. Mgr -- - Old Sol |
News Editors ~ Tim and Skeeter.
Asst. Mgr. - - - Bunny.
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THURSDAY, JUNE 20, 1929
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4 BRILLIANT WEDDING j
J
OTie of the most brilliant weddings)
ever held in Forest City was that of j
Miss Damfino and Mr. Cliffdwellei .
which took place Wednesday evening j
at thirteen minutes after twelve ini
the "Church of the Holy Rollers", j
The church was a veritable flower j
garden decorated in a profusion of j
onion Lops, garlic and milk weeds.]
The altar was made of barbed wire
artistically covered with string
beans, daisies, and cauliflowers.
First to enter were the musicians,
Mrs. Editorial, the organist charm
ingly draped in the American flag
and wearing an artistically hand ,
painted rush hat, next the violinist,
"Eddie, of Lindslide," wearing a
magnificent suit of rose-colored pa- J
jamas, with a high silk hat.
Then came the soloist, Miss ' Pat ,
who was a lovely picture in her
corsage of American beauty turnips,
with hat and shoes to match.
As the muscians struck up the
wedding march "who In the world,
would have thought it," the little
ribbon bearers carrying ropes came
down both aisles. They were "Hula
and "Susie" dressed in purple and
red "Cindrella" and "Hot Dog"
dressed in red and yellow. "Mollie
and "Jackie," in green and orange;
"Mary Ellen" and "Betty" dressed in
black and white. i
After the ribbon bearers had taken
their places, "Pat" started to sing
"The Fight is On" and "Susie" in
sisted on helping her out each one
trying to sing louder than the other
until it looked like the fight really j
was on.
At the conclusion of the solo the
organist struck up "Just Before the
Battle, Mother" and the bridal party
entered. First came the brides
maids, "Andy Gump' v of Cliffside,
chain'ingly gowned in a red kimona,
the same shade of her hair, and car
rying a shower spray of sunflowers.
Next came "Mandy" of Charlotte,
dressed in solid black and carrying
a white poodle dog. Following Man
dy" was "Peaches," of Hamlet,
dressed in burlap and wearing a lace
hat. Next was "Tim" in striped i
overalls. Following the bridesmaids)
came the groomsman, "Radio Fre-j
quern y" in white flannel trousers and j
no shirt. "Sam" of Piedmont, S. C. j
in umonalls; "Noll" of Spring Hope !
in B. V. D.'s and "Bedbug" of Black j
Mountain in his grand pap's cast off)
red flannels.
The groomsmen all entered at one j
time.
Immediately following this came
the flower girls "Stryk" and "Polly
anna" dressed in black and purple,
followed by the ring-bearer "Travel- j
er" of Rutherfordton, in a little I
"Lo/U Fauntleroy suit, and carrying j
-the ring on~ a pair of water wings.
Nt came the maid of honor,
J 'The Mosquito" dressed in a brown
pet o.xt trimmed in cream lace.
Th bride never looked more
beaut'.'ul than she did in her pink
"ba J i"suit and real fly-netting
•veil, entered on the arm oi'the groom
wVio iot only took her, but gave her j
in carriage as well. The ceremony
wa : formed by the Rev. Wayside
Bi . the ring ceremony being
use
I diately after the ceremony,
Mi I Mrs. Cliffdweller left fori
a]• ;rip to the. Puzzle Creek)
He ; Sandy Mush. For traveling !
th e wore a red checked ging- j
ha ss with accesories.
r j ride of today is the daughter
of ather and mother. She was
ed I at "Frog Level University"
ha eceived her U. A. M. (under
stc : all men) degree.
r j -room is the son of his pa
rei d has advanced as far as the
th ade at our leading primary
sc He holds a prominent posi
tic h the Universal Shade Tree
Cc ay set out trees and he sits
un hem.
\ vish them no happiness on
tlj martial journey but hope
th "catch it" fast like all the
re. o us married folks.
e Wayside "Dope'* on next page.
The Wayside Gan£ Pa£c
Published by the Rutherford County Wayside Gang for the Benefit of the Shut-ins.
Wayside Gang Gossip
There's springtime in my heart today,
While spring's in Caroline,
And ev'ry thing I go to say
It makes a. little rhyme.
An' if I steps upon your toes
You'll bear with me, I'm sure,
When ev'ry Wayside gossip brings
An urge I can't endure.
Gome listen to my round-de lay,
I sing a springtime song,
To ev'ry member of the gang
I'll say it won't be long.
"Damfino" is a courting lass,
She loves and then forgets,
All the way from Jimmie Quick
To bald-headed men she pets.
The "Skeeter" is an insect and
She knows just when to sting,
She stole my Harold 'way from me—
The mean ole naughty thing!
There's Mrs. Editorial
So dainty and so neat,
Whose head is fuller far of brains
Than an egg is full of meat.
We wouldn't take a million dollars
For her and her ole man
Because we grow by leaps and bounds
Since they both joined the gang.
There's Howard and Virginia both,
Hello! How do you do? \
Just cultivate your voices and
You'll charm a world or two.
There's "Abe,'' who plays the violin,
Whoopee! I've gotta yell,
When e'er I hear his magic bow
My heart with joy bells swell.
Miss Goggins' fingers float along . _
Across piano keys & %
Touching chords now here, now there,
And music fills the breeze. \
There's Snooks and her ambition to—
Oh well, it rhymes with fat—
Ev'ry time her car drives up
Somebody hides the cat.
She's nuther mean ole gal, I'll say,
In fact she makes me sick, ,
While I was courting Eddie Brown
She snatched my Jimmie Quick.
And now I guess she's got him safe -•
Tied to her apron strings,
But I don't care—Beneath the rose ;
There grows a briar that stings.
Go take 'em all, you naughty Snooks,
Tfrey're fickle as can be;
But if you get that Palmimus
Don't dare come to me!
There's Cinderella, I declare, t
She knows her onions well,
I skidded on banana-peel
And, my how I did yell!
She told me not holler 'cause
I could not take it back; >
I blazed up full of wrath and said
"You go sit on a tack!" ■
■"Now why should you get hot my dear,
And flare at me like that''
"When I ain't got no 'curochrome
To paint the place I sat?"
There's "Blondie'' whom I'm'loving, dear,
Come see me when you can
And I will promise faithful not
To kiss your sweet ole man.
There's "Susie" with the dimpled cheek
And come-hith-er-ish eyes,
And tho her actions are so sweet
That bird sho is wise.
She winds the men around her thumb,
Says that's the way to act,
And if one should get peeved at her
She knows how to "ker-smackj"
There's I, and me, and my ole self—
And sure I'm proud of it—
' The greatest deed that I have done
Was spraying derned ole flit.
.And there is that Palmimus, a
Kew member of our gang; '
So far as his ole heart's concerned
He jest don't give a hang.
It flutters here and flitters there
And settles where it will,
.And like the butter fly that sips,
Leaves when it gets its fill.
I'm glad he upped and joined the gang,
I'll say he is a wow!
Oh, boy! The inspiration's great,
'Cause "He's my weakness now.''
There's "Pete" who is from Henderson
Who joined our gang as well,
Come on, gang, lets make a toast
An' give ole "Pete" a yell:
Here's to "Pete" of Hendersonville
Who gets her biz in clutches
She has a good time where she goes
If it puts the town on crutches.
Oh Dippy, Dippy, where are you—
A-hiding in that corner—
Just come right out and be yourself
You aint no Jackie Horner.
Leap year's past, I'll say this much .
With thoughts just to relieve you,
So if your conscience warns you, boy,
Don't let the thing deceive you.
Susie Kanipe, you little snipe,
Yes you will, now, wontcha
Ker-smack the boys aroun' the town,
But Harold Brown—now DONTCHA!
Harold Br4wn in Charlotte town
(I'll shout this news in whispers)
Has charmed the gals till the boys
Are sprouting goatee whiskers.
So take good care of that goatee,
For therein lies your strength, sir,
Because the gals all fall for it;
Yep, that is what I mean, sir.
Come, listen, members, one and all,
I'll word it to the measure,
We're going to have a gang meeting
Chockful of fun and pleasure.
So when you see the date announced
Put on your bib and tucker,
And get yo'self up to the place
Or you will miss your supper.
Everybody's invited,
The thing's as free as air,
Come to our Wayside gang meeting
And joy will replace care.
TIM, Spindale, N. C.
LOCALS
Eddie of Forest City is home from
the hospital after having his hand
removed—below the knee.
* * *
Radio frequency is home after
spending a week very pleasantly with
Miss Ofeelya Knees.
* * *
The many friends of Hula fear
she will never get over it —"Waf v g
ton's Monument."
* * n
Our old friend Sut and a member
of the gang met with a very serious
accident last week (at least we
tho't so) but after rushing him to
the doctor he said it was only a mis
placed eyebrow. Long may they
grow, Sut.
w * »
Knutty says if you get hungry
during the night, take a roll in bed.
• • »
The Scotchman took his boy out
of school because the teacher said he
would have to "pay attention".
WISE CRACKS FROM THE GANG
Dippy: are you doing
now?"
Radio Frequency: (Just home from
Hollywood) "I'm working in the
movies."
Dippy: "What did you ever do in
the movies?"
Radio Frequency: "I went for the
doctor in 'The Birth of a Nation'.
Traveller: "What are you doing
now"
Dan-O-Day: "Digging holes for the
Saturday Evening Post."
Traveller: "Since you're so smart,
can you tell me who climbs the
Saturday Evening Post?"
Dan-O-Day: "Yes, sir; The Coun
try Gentleman."
Mrs. Editorial: Why is the hand
on the "Statue of Liberty" just
eleven inches long?
Joe Dennis: If it was twelve inches
it would be a foot."
Kat:-. How would you punctuate
this sentence: "Mary lifted her skirt,'
crossing the muddy street."
The Janitor: I" would make a dash
after Mary."
She wears the smartest kind
of Clothes and of course she
wears Sterling Hose.
Sterling Hosiery Co.
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If we can make "Damfino"
and "The Skeeter" look pretty,
just think what we could do
for you.
Gilbert's Studio.
Emerson Radio—
Cabinet model. Dynamic
Speaker. Installed SIIO.OO.
A. L. McDaniel.
; Cinderella met with a serious ac-
L cident last week. She fell down and
I broke her contract and bruised her
elsewhere.
/
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| 2 lbs. of elbow grease, 1 lb.
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"I will not cease," is the key
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• to the situation that puts you
over the top in the Building &
' Loan Association.
)
1 TRY IT!
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j Ready-to-Wear of the better
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I kind at lower prices.
| If you've got any cents, buy
j at
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Stein's Dept. Store.
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See Our New Beds
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If
[ We stand behind everything
we sell.
Moss Furniture Co.
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j If you want to take a ride
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C. DAN FORD
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Doggett Motor Co.
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What ails ye, Bill? .
Ah! tryin' to swaller a pill.j
If you'll get yours where I gotj
mine, You can swaller 'em|
every time.
Hall-Rudisill Drug Co.
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Toilet Goodsj Tooth Paste, j
and Towels, Pots, Pans and j
Pencils, Brushes, Bloomers and
Balloons, Rugs, Rings and Rub
i
er Pants.
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COURTNEY'S
(5, 10, and a Dollar)
Rugs, Radios and Records
Tables, Trunks 'n every
thing.
Forest City Furniture Co.
LADIES' DRESSES
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"HALF OFF"
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PETTY'S SHOPPE ?
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j During the Big June Sale I
Men's Pants
"WAY DOWN I
Efird's Department Store.
. _
You can find it at Horn's
We can supply your wants
on both sides.
Horn's Cash Store.
A full line of Ready-to-
Wear Groceries. All kinds
of Soup, Cheese and Tobacco.
Sanders Groceteria.
If you feel you are hopeless
Try a Bottle of our Tonsor fl
ialtis DeLuxe.
Palace Barber Shop.
Glenn is there and so is Gus.
If your Buick fails, no need
to fuss.
Take it to
Forest City Motor Co.
 That We Sell
! Pianos, Talking Machines
J and Radios on the square is no
j trick. I
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I Give us a call, or ring, but v
no kick.
W. G. Magness.
[ You gave me a drink from
j the Old Brown Jug, I
That sat behind the door,
: You gave me the same, that
you gave to me as in the
days of yore.
A wee drop is there for the
passer by to cheer him
when'er we can.
We choose to live by the
side of the road and be
a friend to man.
Farmers Bank & Trust Co.