A
BE JUSX AND EAR NOT.”
VoL. 1.
TUESDAY, JANU.
:RY 20, 1891.
No. 6.
A BUNCH OF EPITAPHS FROM BURNS.
On J—Y B—Y.
Here lies J—y B—y, honest man!
Cheat him, Devil, if you can.
ers. Ou our walk througli|' the grounds ray in
terest was aroused on all mdes. At first I was
ATHLETIC NOTES.
erosity of the raagis-
g up all of the front
On a Person Nick-named the Maeqijis.
Here lies a mock Marquis whose titles were shainm’d.
If ever he rises it will be to be d—d.
On a Hen-pecked Country Squire.
As father Adam first was fool’d.
(A case that’s still too common).
Here lies a man a woman rul’d.
The Devil rul’d the woman.
On a School-master.
Here lies Willie M—hie’s banes,
O Satan when ye tak him,
Gie him the schulin of your weans.
For clever Dei Is he’ll rnak’em.
Struck by the excessive get
trates of the college in givit
and most desirable portion If their ground to the
villagers, and again at the !|een foresight exercised
by these villagers in the drainage of their back-
lots, where no portion of t|he valuable fertilizing
agents are allowed to run ^otf or escape in any I
possible manner. In our fyalk I could but stop |
for a moment to pluck l>ome of the carefully I
tended roses that line the, walks; this delayed us j
somewhat, and ever hating to lie among the last j
at a meeting, we hurried )on to the prayer-hall.
Yale’s new gymnasium cost $100,000.
The cost (tf athletics at Harvard last year aver
aged $25 for each student.
For the series of foot-ball games between Trini
ty, Wake Fore.st and the University for the years
1888—’89-’90 the score stood :
Trinity. Wake Forest. University.
1888-’89, 25 32 60
1889-’90,
8
22
8
dially received by the
On our inquiring for
On W.
Stop, thief! dame Nature cried to Death,
As Willie drew his latest breath;
You have my clioicest model ta’en.
How shall I make a fool again ?
On entering we were coi
Faculty of the institution
the students we were inioTmed that, being exces
sively devoted to the midiiight oil (which I knew
from experience to be.-o),[they had not yet arisen, !
and that this meeting was simply for the benefit
Total, 33 54 58
Thus showing that although none of the teams
could claiiii the championship from the number of
games won, the University team made four points
more than any other, and therefore really did the
best playing, and in reality won the championship.
lembers of the Faculty.
On the Same.
Rest gently, turf, upon his breast.
His chicken heart’s so tender;—
But rear huge castles on his head.
His skull will prop tliem under.
On iV SuiorcE. ‘
Earthed up here lies an imp o’ hell.
Planted by Satan’s dibble—
Poor silly wretch he damn’d himsel’
To save the Lord the trouble.
AN EXTRACT FROM THE TRAVELS OF BENJ. A
BECKET.
And it came to pass that on the evening of the
third day of our journey in this new State that we
entered a small village, on one side of which, partly
concealed from the highway by sundry hostelries,
pig-stys, and shanties, were some large buildings,
which the guide, astonished at ray ignorance, in
formed me was the far-famed University of New
Castle. My igtmrance he attributed to my y(Uith,
for, said he, befnre the war this college had four
hundred students, and he would have continued to
talk of the gude ole times that were, had I not
pointedly !)rought him down to the present, of
which, much to my astonishment, he was very
loth to speak. Idowever, he informed me that the
institution was now open and that I could stop
and see for myself, whereupon we stopped for the
night—at a good old barn-like structure, seem-
ingly constructed at different periods in a manner
which would do credit to the smartest Fiji Islan
der. Tired, we passed a good night’s rest, albeit
that the place was the abode of many dogs, that
barked at the cats that chased the rats that lived
there, and that the thin partitions failed to keep
out a mysterious shuffling of feet and clanking of
chains and hum of voices which lasted until the
sun,drove us asunder—us from, and them to their
couches. After a repast which might have done
credit to an anchorite we set out for the college, it
O z
being, as we were told, the time for morning pray
of the wickedly inclined
After the services werejover one of the instruct
ors, an intelligent, good^hjoking, round-bellied,
bald-headed little fellow oT the Roman type, asked
tlie pleasure of showing us around. First we
stopped at the well. T enjoyed a drink of
the best'water L had ever lasted, tiotwitltstanding
that a few moments aftertyards I saw slops emp
tied nearer to this well and the different buildings
than would have been allowed in our country.
We next inspected the Reading-room, where we
found a good collection of newspapers—also of
locks and irons, the like of widch I had never
seen outside of a comity jail. On ex[)ressing ray
surprise at the latter I was informed tliat much
against the will of the Faculty, who were above
such, the students had so arranged t<i prevent the
carrying off of their papers by the negroes. We
were then ushered into the Library, where we
found,a very creditable collection of books .so ad
mirably arranged that on our inquiring for a copy
of Shakspere it only required our in.structor a
half hour to find it. We were surprised also at
seeing a well selected set of magazines in the
Library, it being the custom in our country to keep
them along vvith the papers in the reading-rootns.
We were told that only by keeping them thus
could a full set be kept for binding, when it oc-
cured to us how much keener foresight might
have been shown if, instead of hiding them,
they had waited and bouglit bound copies, much
more suited for tlieir shelves, at greatly reduced
prices. From the Library we were shown into
the Mausoleum, a magnificent building, built,
as we supposed, for a jiictnre-gallery, its struc
ture being much better fitted tor the eye than
for the ear.
{To be continued.)
THE FASTEST MILE.
The rticord for the fastest mile made on skates
is 2m. 12 3-5s.
The fastest mile made in rowing, in a single
boat, is 5ra. Is.
The fastest time on snow-shoes for a mile is re
corded as 5ra. 39fs.
The fastest mile liy a man on a tricycle was
tnade in 2m. 49 2-6s. ' ^ -
The faste-it mile ever made by a running horse
was run in Itn. 35s.
The fastest mile run bv a railroad train was
made in 40U-
The fastest mile ever made my a man swim
ming was done in 26m. 52s.
We copy the following from the Wilmington
Messenger: “We may mention in this connection
that the University now has a Medical as well as
a Law School. It will soon have a Chair of His
tory. It is forging more and more to the front
as one of the greatest of Southern institutions of
learning. Its friends should rally earnestly to its
support. It has for nearly one hundred years
been sending out students that have filled all of
the high places in the land. If-! list of distin
guished students surpasses any institution south of
Princeton, with possibly the one exception of the
University of Virginia.”
We are proud to state that we believe the facts
stated by the Messenger are true, and hope we will
live to see the University of North Carolina stand
second to none in the United States.
It seems that both Presidents are ashamed of
the Soph. Class, for at a recent meeting neither one
would come, and a temporary chairman liad to be
elected. This doesn’t speak well for the class.
Recently Messrs. Blount & Williams resigned
the positions as Captain and Business Manager of
onr foot-ball team and it became necessary to
elect some one in their places. This was done in
the Chajiel on last Tuesday evening. George
Graham was elected Captain and J. J. Philips
Business Manager of the team. No better selec
tions could have been maile.
Du
rliam is
to have a new hotel.
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