Newspapers / The Charlotte Herald (Charlotte, … / Sept. 19, 1924, edition 1 / Page 12
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Aunt—“ Aud were you a very good little girl at church this morn ing, Sallie?” Saliie—“Oh yes, Aunty. A man offered me a Big plate full of mfrney, and,l.j&yl .‘po %£nfc’?ypu” e^Th^-Atnericap^ Region fWpel$^. After i(floating^"ki the Atlantic Ocean for forty - two years, a sealed bottled has been washed up on the American coast. We under stand that the ^country is being ransacked fpr cork-screw.—jLon don Humorist. 1 Magistrate—“This man’s watch Was fastened in his pocket by a safety pin . Hjowt did you manage to get it?” Prisoner—“Well Judge, I usually gets- five dollars fer six lessons.” -^-Passing Show ^London) A househunter looking for real estate subdivision alighted in the country at the end of the street car line, there was no one in sight but an urchin. “Say son,” called tthe house hunter, “were is Swellhurst addit ion?” '“Bout 50 minuts walk over that way,” was the response. ' f “Nonsense. The advertisement says five minutes walk from street car. • j £ ’“Well, mister,” clmtinfted the ufchiffc “you can kin believe me or tha ad, but I ain’t got no house td sell.” ;t I Film Star—“what will you charge to conduct my divorce. JLawer—“If you’ll eivr n monoply of your future divorce^ I’ll do this one for nothing: 1 —Kasper (Stockholm) j ' V A ~ . t Jones had found a slip of paper oil his lawn. It was an accurate and detailed plan of his private office. The exact position of the stairs was noted. Notes showed which doors swung in and which swung out. Even, the windows were set down. Jones was alarmed “Some burglar must be going to raid my office,” he told his fam ily. ‘ '/ “Oh that isn’t it,” cried his daughter glancing at the sketch, i Those notes'a^e in Jack’s hand writing He’s coming down to your office to ask you to let him marry me.” —Tit Bits (London) Husband (reading from paper) “Three thousand four hundred I and twenty-six elephants were! needed last year to make billiard- j balls.” ; Wife-—“Isn’t it wonderfuh that siifch great beasts can be taught to do such delicate w«ork?” “John, John,” whispered Mrs. Congressman Blow Hard, Wake ujjLFnt sure there are robbers in the^house.,, '-“Robbers in the house?” he muttered sleepily. Absolutely pre posterous! There may be robbers in the Senate, Mary but not in the HbUse. Absurd!” ijMrs. Brown- was almost speech less as she beheld the Grand Can ydn. - i “Isn't it wonderful,” she gushed. j “I’ll say so,” responded Mr. Brown, who mixed contracting with politics. “Boy, that wras some excavating job.”—New York American. . - “Your school is not a seminary; it’s a match factory,” said ihe spiart you,ng- college man to the girl student. | “You’re right,” said the girl. “We furnish the heads and get the sticks from the men’s col leges.”—The Continent (Chica go,),. I “H^owler’s” from a recent graded school examination: “Who v?as Frances WiHard?” One pu pil wrote, “He is*a famous prize fighter.” Another, “She was the first to. introduce women's suffer ings," “Arehilles was idipl5e4 in Jjte river; Styx to make hiih 4 n or dinal.” “P&mpeii was destroyed by an. etiymption of salvia from the : VhUcstfCn A^JUnthatfielfa Un>lSEIM fashioned he^ilJif^^t^ &f a fellow who has anchored himself to one | place.” “In 1620 the Pilgrims ! crossed the ocean, and this is known as Pilgrim’s Progress." -“Vacuum is nothing with the air sucked out of iL” “Algebraical : symbols are used when you don’t i know what you are talking about,” “Geometry teaches us how) to bisex angels.” j “Ah, the Americans are. a fun ny lot. Once in the train an American got in and put his feet on my lap!" “What did you dot’’ / “What could I? I don’t know a word of American.”—Yasper (Stockholm.) Mather?—“What do you mean by putting ’your thdmb to your nose and wriggling yofUr fingers at those little boys?" * WillieL^* ‘Ddn’t you Worry, ma »—they know What' X mean.”— American Legion Weekly. “Are you going to broadcast your speeches?^” “I have - decided,” answered Senator Sorghum. “I don’t like to divide attention. I’ve noticed that when a speech is put on the 4.1 r instead of saying, ‘Wasn’t it a wonderful speech?’ everybody says ‘Isn’t radio a wonderful in dention?’"—Washington Star. -r—-—•—T"—~ Miners Not Alarmed' At “High Wage” Cry Indianapolis, Sept. 13.—“No „one is fooling the miner by' tell ing him that the reason for the present depression in the coal in dustry is because of the high wages he is supposedly making,” says Ellis Searles, editor of the United Mine Worked’ Journal. “The miner has been too long in the game and knows that such arguments are made for no other purpose than to break down 'the public support the union miner has been receiving. ; me errorts oeing made m sev-1 eral of the bitr/ninous producing states to gull the public. into be lieving that the ailment in the coal industry is due to ‘high wages5 j is the veriest poppycock. The miner is aware of this. He knows that it. is a scheme to break his morale .and- to reduce 'his wages_ to somewhere in the region of the wages paid in the non-union fields. It is, merely a case of increased profits for the operator when the public starts buying coal—and that time, by the way, is now here. -‘Goal reserves are at -new low levels because the coal-consuming public has been catling oh the re serve, supply rather than- buying fresh coal. The end of such a policy is in sight and the mines are beginning to open .and oper ate. Warnings - have befen issued by railroads that a car shortage is imminent" for next winter un less coal begins moving now. Op-' j erators have' foreseen these cir 1 cujttistanees and, of course, would like to increase their profits by ; hammering1 wages down. “But union wages will not be j hammered down and coal will be | produced under the terms of the ' Jacksonville agreement, which ; was amicably set up in a confer--' j ence between operators and min jers last spring.” CARPENTERS TO MEET. Indianapolis, Ind., Sept. 18.-— The general convention of ' the I Brotherhood of Carpenters and i Jpiners will convene in this city I on September 22. The first con | version .of the brotherhood was held in Chicago in 1881. BABY PEGGY Drawn by C. R. Macauley She’s there, when it comes to biblical history \ Jjwuo WERE OUR (FIRST PAREK76.5* ■Sr~)- PE.G J Jp v**y f,** * * n « [’k^s rfgaJf SifWWAT MAOE LOT'S WIEE TWIH -^'WTOSAUT* 3&r-- smc JTo<oh*t *4 ave :J ■I 1 WHO WENT INTO n THE LION'S __ (THAT'S RIGHT, PEGGY-NOAW SENT A DOVE* NOW, DEAft.VfHAT DID THE , .fcWWO TAU&UT |,J|« JOH'AW? — aJMt WMALE* THAT BROUGHT » WlM UP ,—-1 r> M rwEY DRIED THEIRSELVE5 BABY: PEGGY Dra^n bp C. R."Macauley She qualifies as a jewel expert tm 1 AH! MY LITTLE1 &UEEN1! HEAW5 SOMETHING1 PRETTY FOR YOU r> IWON ABOUT £ , A FOUR ^ [CARAT COLLAR?} W£AH ARE 5>OWC MA&VtUSGSl ~u ft % GEMS,MY B£AH| / "77 iV T_-^: nr ~r NOW,TELL ME , BABY DEAN, WHAT IS THE s) LARGEST KNOWN IAMOND> A m y / T
The Charlotte Herald (Charlotte, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Sept. 19, 1924, edition 1
12
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