THE CHARLOTTE MESSENGER
VOL. IV. NO. 40.
THE
Charlotte Messenger
IS PUBLISHED
Every Saturday,
AT
CHARLOTTE, N. C.
In the Interest* of the Colored People
Os the Country.
AMe end well-known writers will oontrib
ute to its columns from different peris of the
resintrr, end it will contain Gen
erel News of the day.
Th* Messkxoer is e flrst-cless newspaper
end will not ellow personal abuse in its col
umns. ItN« not sectarian or partisan, but
independent— dealing fairly by ell. It re
eerres the right to criticise the shortcomings
of ell officials—commending the
worthy, an<l recommending for election such
meu as in its opinion are beat suited to serve
the interests of the people.
It is intended to supply the long felt need
of a newspaper to advocate the right* and
defend the inter.sts of the Negro-American,
especially in the Piedmont section of the
Carolina*.
SOBBCBIPTIOHS:
(Always in Advance.)
1 year - . #1 SO
S months - - - 100
0 months - - 75
8 months - - - 50
2 months - - • 35
Single Copy - - 5
Address,
W.C. SMITH Charlotte NO
i
The Chinese ate not our antipodes.
Indeed, declares the Christian Advocate,
we have none. An antipode is one who
lives on the opposite side of the globe,
and whose feet are, of course, directly
opposite to the feet of those who live on
this aide, but directly opposite out
country is a wild waste of waters. The
Chinese, who dwell on the other side of
the globe, but in the same latitude as
we, are our pcriecians. Those who live
on the same meridian, but in the southern
hemisphere, arc our anticthones. Our
antipodes must oppose, us both in latitude
and longitude.
Professor Re'ly, of the Agricultural
Department, gave some intcicsting testi
mony be'ore a Senate Committee at Wash
ington recently concerning food adulter- |
atinn. He claimed that there was very
little pure food sold now, so common
has become the practice of adulterating
it. As a rule, people look upon this mat
ter complacently regarding these adul
terations as hsrmless. But there are
eometimes rude awakenings. It was
shown recently in Philadelphia that
number* of people have been poisoned
by baker* who used chrome yellow,
while the ill effects of adulterated and
other such articles are known by all.
A movement has been started to present
to the city of Peris a statue of Washing
ton in return for that of Lafayette given
by France to New York in 1876. The
intention is to have it finished and sent
to Paris with proper ceremonies on April
80, 1889, one hundred years after Wash
ington took tho oath of office aa first
President of the United States. The cost
of the statue and of sending it to France
will not be more then $20,000. An organ
isation of well-known ladies in various
ritiea ha* charge of the project. Mr. E.
Francis Higgs, of Higgs A Co., bankers
in Washington, will act a* Treasurer and
will receive any subscriptions to the
fund.
A Portland (Oregon) correspondent
write* to the Pen Francisco Chronicle:
“A number of German citizens hare sub
scribed e fund of SIOOO to purchase
singing bird* in Germany to be turned
loose in this city and vicinity. Arrange
menta hare been made with a party in
Germany to forniah nightingale*, sky
lark*, bullflnche*, chaffinches, gold
finchaa, thrushes, linnet*, darlings and
other bird* to the number of 700. They
will arrive her* nett spring in time to
nest and rear young, and it is considered
certain that they will than return hers
from their winter migration in the South.
An act for the protection of these birds
• 111 be passed by the nest Legislature.
Pom* of the subscriber* to the fund
wished to import a fair storks, but this
was found impracticable, ae thee* birds
are oaree and ooet SSO or more per pair,
and would be difficult to transport sod
probably hard to protect Os Hffilmstlie "
TELEGRAPHIC TICKS.
NORTH CAROLINA.
Cardinal Gibbons, accompanied by the
Rev. Dr. Foley, are at Asheville to at
tend the convention of gentlemen inter
ested in the promotion of immigration to
the South. The party expects to return
on Friday next.
Cross and White, the defaulting presi
dent and cashier of the State National
Bank, of Raleigh, gave bond and were
released from jail a few nights ago. The
bond was $15,000 each. One of White’s
bondsmen is D. H. Graves, in whose
name one of the forgeries for which
Cross and White are to be tried was com
mitted.
News has been received at Raleigh of
a heavy and disastrous hail storm in
parts of Iredell county. A heavy mass
of clouds hung very low, and literally
porued masses of hail upon the earth.
The average depth of the hail is reported
to have been a foot. Most persons be
lieve the damage to the wheat crop will
be very great.
SOUTH CAROLINA.
The House of Representatives has re
fused to increase the appropriation for
the Charleston jetties.
By fire at Union Courthouse eight
buildings were burned. The losses were
as follows: R. F. Briggs, storehouse,
$2,900; R. F. Gee, stock of goods,
$9,500; John Rodgers, stock, $3,500;
Harlan building, $750; H. M. Grimball,
two storehouses, $2,500. Insurance,
SII,OOO.
After a year of inactivity the Edgefield
Rifles have been reorganized, with E. H.
Folk as captain; R. 8. Anderson, first
lieutenant; F. A. Tompkins, second lieu
tenant; W. A. Strom, third lieutenant;
orderly sergeant, St. Julicn Bland. These
are all crack military men, one of them,
the gallant first lieutenant, having seen
and experienced service in the late “un
pleasantness,” while the others are either
graduates or have been attendants of mil
itary schools.
NORTH. EAST AND WEST
The New York banks now hold $14,-
346,300 in reserve in excess of legal re
quirements.
A cotton factory is to be erected at
Danville, Va., with a capacity of 32,000
yards of cloth per day.
There was a wreck on the Louisville
and Nashville Railway at Caleria, and
two brakemen were killed.
N. P. B. Wells, treasurer of the
Seneca Falls, N. Y., Savings Bank, has
been lodged in jail for a defalcation esti
mated at $2,000 to $12,000.
P. Throckmorton and John Chandler,
of a Philadelphia hucketshop concern,
have absconded, leaving $12,000 debts
behind them.
Soaring of Birds.
The sight of hawks mounting upward
by a wheeling flight in circles must be a
familiur one to all who have lived in the
country. The eagle, the vulture, and
other birds of prey have the habit of
keeping aloft by the same mode of
flight. The course described in ascend
ing is a spiral, and it is made with no
apparent effort. The wings and tail of
the bird are kept spread out to their full
extent, that U all. There is no flapping
nor fluttering, and yet the bird rises
rapidly, aside from the speed with which
it makes each successive round. There
is much mystery about this flight. Natural
ists, like Mr. Belt, suggest that the bird
uses the center of gravity as a fulcrum,
tnd takes advantage of the wind by set
ting its wings and tail something like
the sails of a boat when tacking.
The difficulty with this explanation is
that the birds are teen taking their flight
in this manner on perfectly still days. To
say that there are currents of air moving
up aloft, where the birds arc, is nothing
but assumption, when all the evidence
wc havo that such is the case is the flight
of the birds.
Again, if wc refer this scaling motion
to the action of the wind, there is still a
difficulty in understanding how it hap
pens that one bird so much excels an
other in-speed, or that the same bird in
creases or slackens its speed so easily as
it does. We may say that this is due to
s difference in the extent of wings, and
In the skill with which they are set.
Even then it is inconceivable, upon this
theory, how the swallow, for instance,
sttsin, the speed it docs in scaling; and
this, too, when we know there is little
force of wind.
Persons who have observed the alba
tross, the Tape pigeon and the stormy
Setrel say that these birds are unable to
y.at all in calm weather, except by flap
ping their large wing*. In high winds
they keep themselves up with no other
apparent action than that of changing
the position of the wings. In this ease,
the great activity of these birds in stormy
weather does not involve corresponding
weariness. The winds toss them, and
fondle them, and rock them to rest, if
not to sleep. Naturalist* hare relied
upon the uniformity of nature in reason
ing from the habits of these see-fowl to
those of our Isnd-birds. Such reasoning
is usually safe, but there are difficulties
here, ** ha* been shown above.
One object which the hawk sod hit
kindled may have in soaring it the get
ting into a more agreeable temperature.
It sometimes terms that th* hotter th*
lay, the higher they soar. It Is possibly
their wey of going to the mountain*. It
may be that the spiral course it taken to
enable the bird to scan a wider Held than
it could in any other war. If this sup
position has any foundation, then th* size
if the circle* described depends upon the
txtant of vision, end not upon the wind
>r the powers of flight. Thar* la need
»f oareful observation on tom of UUM
point*.—JWi’s ttoywnfe/i.
CHARLOTTE, N. C„ SATURDAY, APRIL 28, 1888.
GOSSIP FROM UNCLE SAMS’ CAP
ITOL
What ear Baer Law Makers are Delaa.
•eesresslonal an* Other Hews.
The Senate has confirmed the nomina
tions of Brigadier General George Crook
to bo major general; Colonel J. R.
Brooke to be brigadier general; Lieu
tenant Colonel C. B. Comstock to be
colonel of engineers; Commander W. T.
Schley to be captain, and W. G. Isaacs,
of Alabama, to be chaplain in the navy,
and Thomas T. Tunstall, of Alabama,
consul at San Salvador.
Acting Secretary Thompson has trans
mitted to the Senate, in compliance with
the resolution of that body, a list of
national banks which are depositors of
public moneys, with the amount held by
each on April 7th, to the credit of the
Treasurer. In the letter of transmittal
he informs the Senate that no interest is
paid by the national banks on public
funds so deposited, and that the place of
deposit is discretionary with the secre
tary. The amounts vary from $40,000
to more than $7,000,000, and aggregate
more than $60,000,000.
The letting of the star route mail con
tracts has been completed. Among the
more prominent in tne South were the
following: From Elizabeth City to
Fairfield, in North Carolina, steamboat
service twice a week each way, for four
years; contractor, Frank N. Hussey;
compensation, $3,500. From Chatta
hoochee to Apalachicola, Fla., steamboat
service three times a week each way for
four years; contractor, Peter Burke; com
pensation, $8,149 per annum. There
were 1,102 contracts in all.
Senator Brown has introduced a bill
intended as an amendment to the inter
state commerce law. It provides that
anp shipper who shall misrepresent the
character, weight or value of his ship
ment, with a view of securing lower
rates than are charged to other shippers
of like property shall be guilty of a mis
demeanor and shall be punished at pre
scribed by the. interstate commerce act.
Any rnilroad company or common car
rier which shall receive shipments know
ing them to be misrepresented ns above
referred to shall be guilty of a misde
meanor and shall be punished accord
ingly.
Reports from the Northern States indi
cate that the week has been unusually
cold and that farm work has been greatly
retarded. Reports from the Southern
States show that the weather during the
week has affected all crops favorably.
Cotton planting is progressing rapidly,
and generally throughout the cotton
States the week is reported as the most
favorable of the season. Light frosts
occurred in North Carolina on the 20th,
which may prove injurious to fruit and
crops on low grounds. From the States
south of the Missouri River, including
Kansas, Nebraska and Southern Mis
souri, the weather has been generally
favorable and crops are well advanced.
CAUGHT BS AN INSPECTOR.
Vsnns Hawkins, the Newberry Pnstnflice
Embezzler, C’nnsht In New Orleane.
John Hawkins, the assistant postmas
ter at Newberry, 8. C., who on March
24th embezzled $175, waa captured at
New Orleans Friday night.
Before stealing the money Hawkins
drew up a money order for SIOO payable
at Sanford, Fla. He did not apply for
this money, but endorsed the order and
inclosed it in a letter to Dr. King Wylie
at Sanford, asking him to collect, for
ward, &c , money, less expense of send
ing, to Pensacola.
Instead of doing this Dr. Wylie, who
had read of Hawkins' crime, got the San
ford postmaster to hold the money.
Chief Inspector Simpson, of Atlanta,
having lieen posted by Dr. Wylie, sent
an inspector to Pensacola to watch the
express office. The express agent got a
letter asking him to forward the SIOO to
New Orleans. As Hawkins stepped up
to the express office in New Orleans last
night to get the money he was arrested
by an inspector.
Inspector Herbert has kept track of
Hawkins from the time he ieftNcwbcrry.
—Atlanta Constitution, April 22.
The Chinaman’s Devotion toßlee.
The Chinaman’s devotion to his rice
■ays a Canton correspondent, is as great
as an Englishman’s to his dinner, and at
their regular timea for "chow”—ll in
the morning and 5 in the afternoon—
nothing can take him away from hi*
bowl of rice. As all the city life is al
fresco, one sees miles of feeding China
men if he progresses through the streets
at their meal hours.. In each open room
or shop the scene is tho same—a circieof
dirty heathens gathered around a table,
(hoveling the rice into their mouths a*
fast as chon sticks can play, the edges of
the I jowls being held to their months
merely as a funnel to direct the stream.
One can stand in the shops, vainly wait
ing to purchase, and a surly Chinaman
will only come forward when he has fin
ished his bowl of rice, and hasa sublime
indifference to trade, piofits, and cheat
ing when it is his rice time.
Taking One Too Mach at One'* Word.
Hostess—Wont’t you play us some
thing, Mr. Spinks!
Musical Amateur (who think* a good
deal of himself, in spite of his modesty)
—<>, don't ask me. You're all such flrst
rato ]>erformers here, and you play such
good music, too.
Hostess -Well, but we like a little
variety, you know!— Harper's Ws*hll/,
A Providence tU, I.) mao has Invented
• log bora that can be board wm
miles. i
FARMS AND FARMERS.
Short Talks With the Men Who Guide
the Plow.
or General Interest tcFarmer*.
Plenties eettnn.
There is danger, before the planting
of cotton is finished, that the ground
may get too dry to bring the seed up.
This may tie circumvented, to somo ex
tent, by harrowing after rain before
planting time. One who has never tried
it will bo surprised to see how much
longer land thus treated will remain
moist and soft than that which has been
allowed to have a crußt formed on it.
Cotton land should be harrowed repeat
edlo from the breaking to the planting.
A double team, with a three section
Thomas harrow, will cover six feet at a
go, and go over twenty or thirty acres a
day. It is comparatively a light job,
therefore to harrow land.
The surest plan of getting a stand of
cotton is to cover with two furrows
(double foot plow) sufficiently deep to
allow the knocking off when the plants
are just ready to come up. And this is
a most excellent plan. It has the ap
pearance of increased labor, but it is
only apparent, because the knocking off
is equivalent to a working. It often
kills the first crop of grass and allows
the plants to come up on a clean, fresh
surface. When cotton planters are used,
they do not usually cover sufficiently
deep to allow knocking off, although
they might be arranged to do it. Most
of them, however, have a wheel in front
that firms the soil upon which the seed
fall. This is a decided advantage, as
moisture rises to the seed much better
through compact earth than it does
through that which is very loose. With
a wheel in front and another behind to
press the seed into the soil, cotton might
be planted and covered very shallow and
yet come up well in quite dry weather.
Unless it is to be knocked off, the seed
should not be covered deep. Because
they will come up sometimes when cov
ered quite deep is not proof that it is
best to cover deep. To get a strong,
healthy plant the seed should not be
covered over two inches deep.
It is well to put a little manure with
the seed when planted. It imparts great
vigor to the young plants and makes
them grow off rapidly. When genuine
Peruvian guano was on the market, wc
found it admirably adapted for this pur
pose. Any highly ammoniated guano
will answer, however. Fity pounds to
the acre will be sufficient. The seed
may be cither rolled in the guano, or
tiu y may be dampened and the guano
mixed with them.— Atlanta Constitution.
Nest-Bnllfling Fishes.
Among the nest-building fishes which
inhabit German waters, the most inter
esting is the tiny “stickleback,” whose
life-history has been carefully studied.
The home of this little animal is some
times found in ditches, hanging among
branches and twigs of plants; the nest is
obout the size of the average hand, and
in structure and material bears a marked
resemblance to the round nest of the tit
mouse. It is a peculiar and remarkable
fact that among the sticklebacks the
hatching is done by the male and not by
the female fish. The building of the nest,
a task to which the male also attends, is
an interesting event. For many days in
succession the little animal, whose
energy and perseverance are truly worthy
of admiration, collects its materials,
which consists of loose stalks, plant
shreds, root-fibers, and grass. These it
assorts carefully, discarding all material
that proves too light. It often drags
along pieces exceeding its body in
length, and sometimes with great exer
tion strips growing plants. All this
material is worked up into a tangled
mass, and layers of sand are scattered in
between. The nest is rendered firm by
a glue-like juice, which the little mason
excretes after the completion of each
layer, gliding slowly over the structure;
this causes the separate parts of the nest
to adhere closely together. The whole,
when completed, has the appaarance of
a sand-hill, and is detected with much
difficulty.
While at work the fish rarely partakes
of any food: it seems that during this
blissful period of its existence it finds
no pleasure in such everyday events; but
with intense animosity it drives back
any jealous rivals, larvae, salamanders,
or water-bugs, which cross its path,
sometimes with evil sometimes with
harmless intentions. After the trouble
some hatching-time is over, the anxious
papa still continues to care for his
numerous offspring; by day and by night
he watches over them, and drives sway
all creatures whose approach seems
dangerous. This unremitting watch
fulness ceases only when his young are
able to raise their weapons of defense
and have become somewhat acquainted
with their surroundings. Any inquisitive
little one venturing too far away is
quickly sent home, and it actually happens
that those who are bery disobedient are
imprisoned in the nest. The home lifo
of these little animals really presents an
abundaoce of interesting and touching
traits. —Popular Science Monthly.
Authentic Inrermall*a,
Landlady (to attio floor, baek, a news
paper humorist) —“Will you have an
other piece of liver, Mr. Burri”
Mr. Burr—“No more, thanks."
landlady—“ Mr. Burr. I see much la
th* newspapers nbont chestnut*. I lease
101 l me what a chestnut let”
Mr. Burr—“A chestnut, Mrs. Hen
: dtlcka, fa anything that has been re
peated so often that It becomes aged
and stale—er, liver for iattanca.”—Act*
j Tori San.
Baotrle slaughtering of osttle hat
proven successful la St. Pataraburg,
I Russia, death bring lastaataaeous.
TROPICALCOFFEE CULTURE
THE NUTRITIOUS BERRT AS FOUND
IN OOBTA RICA.
How the Frnlt is Prepared for Com
merce, and the Great Extent of
the Industry.
Coffee constitutes the chief article of
commerce of Central America, and is in
consequence the real sourre of wealth.
The climate and soil of this section—
this neck of land joining the great
Northern and Southern continents—are
eminently adapted to its cultivation, the
high lands producing qualities rivaling,
if not equa ing, in flavor the famous
brands of Mocha or Jars. Costa Rica
and Gautemala take the lead in Central
America, their average yearly yield being
almost the same.
Near the hot springs and in the village
of Agua Caiiente, Costa Rica, is the
plantation in which the most approved
machinery for the preparation of coffee
for the foreign market has lately been
set up. The visitor, mounted on the
good steed, which has carried him into
and out of many dangets since he began to
make his tour of discovery, rides slowly
through the hacienda along a road bor
dered with oranges and lemons, the
snowy blossoms of the oranges mingling
their delicious fragrance with the faint
odor exaled by tbe few waxen stars left
nestling under the evergreen foilage of
the coffee trees. Before reaching the
building in which the coffee passes
through the preparatory state the path is
lined with the drying patios, a wide slop
ing terrace paved with cement of so hard
a nature as to present the appearance of
the smoothest and finest marble. These
patios were all well filled with the ber
ries, and men armed with an instrument
resembling an enormous wooden rake,
were engaged in turning over the red
dening mass.
An enormous tank of solid masonry
was more than half full of berries, large
and red, almost exactly resembling cran
berries. After soaking for some hours
they ere conveyed to the pulper, a cylin
der which slowly revolves and separate*
the outer skin from the seed. After the
process of fermentation the berries are
dried in the patio, caro being taken to
keep them well shaken in order that the
drying may be thorough. The seeds
then pass into a machine which remove*
the gossamer-like coating and seta the
two halves of the berry free; then through
another machine, whose graduated rol
lers separate the coffee into the different
qualities, the large, full grains being
known ss the first-class, and so on
through all the gradations, each variety
finding its way to its own special recep
tacle. The first grade of Costa liica cof
fee is a large, full bodied berry of a gray
ish color, ranking in the foreign markets
without a superior. The inferiority of the
lower grades may be detected even by
the most inexperienced eye at a glance.
The traveler was struck with the vast
difference in the berries as they came
through the last machine, having found
all the big red fruit alike in the handful
he had picked up from the outer patio.
In Costa Rica banana trees are placed
at intervals in the long rows of coffee
shrubs in order to shield the ripening
berries from too great heat and rain, the
broad leaves furnishes just the amount
of shelter requited. Greater climatic
extremes can be endured by this tree
than by almost any other of the vegeta
ble kingdom, as it thrives in localities
varying as much as thirty degrees. It
averages in some localities no more
than eight or ten feet in height. In
others it attains a growth of twenty feet.
Tbe foliage is dark green, luxuriant,
smooth and glossy, losing nothing by
the change of season. It blossoms all
tho year round, and at any times th*
delicate waxen loveliness of its blossoms
and the deepening red of its clustering
berries may be seer. It is raised in
nurseries from the seed, and is trans
planted when about six months old,
bearing in from two to four years, and
under favorable circumstances yielding
for twenty years. The plants are placed
from eight to ten feet apart, and the
average yearly yield of a single tree is
from two to three pounds. The traveler,
never having gone deeper into the mat
ter of coffee than the grounds in his cup,
was surprised to learn that each innocent
little berry consists of no less than five
distinct parts—the outer skin, a soft
pulp adhering to the covering, a third
coating of a sac harine character, then a
tough, yellowish white envelope, easily
removable by friction, then a silvery
go-samer like film, and then the two
parts of the grain laid face to face
within all these coverings.
The wondering pilgrim thought that
he had gazed upon the last scene in the
strange, eventful history of coffee, to
find out his mistake when the courteous
bacicndado conducted him back through
the plea-ant orange scented road to the
d welling house to view with awe the
final process. Behind the house is an
immense patio covered with drying cof
fee and tanks full of the berry on
draught. A wide gallery encloses this
patio on two sides, under its shelter be
ing placed long, slightly sloping table*,
piled with the coffoc which the pilgrim
had thought to be quite ready for mar
ket. At equal distances on tbe inner
sides of these tables were seated women
of all ages sad sizes, apparently engaged
on account of their possession of iwift
fingers, for to them was intrusted the task
of picking over, berry by berry, th* eon
tent* of the huge sack* already filled by
machinery in the other building. Re
membering the amount of a mao'* an
nual crop, the traveler w*e for a moment
overcome with the task—2o,ooo,ooo
pounds o( coffee exported la on* yeas
From Coeta Rh a alone, and evrry Indi
vidual grain passed through the fingers
ot • woman. —San Transit t Chronic/*.
Morality Is th* harmony batwoon act
and circumstance, It U th* malody of
conduct,
Terms. $1.58 per Aml Smile Copy 5 ceils.
A LOVE STORY.
We leave the wintry woods and stand
Beside the old grey wall;
“Good-by,” he IS vs, and clasps my hand
And leaves me -this is all.
To him a walk nrath cloudy sktse,
The careless mirth of friends;
Toms, a glimpse ot paradise
That all too sorely ends
Why need I, standing In my races,
Recall his parting words)
W by dream of flowers and summer bloom
And minstrelsy of birds?
I know that not a thought of me
Shall All bis heart to-night,
Yet, as the moonbeam* on the eea.
O'er me he casts a light.
His are the sunny ways of Ufn,
The blossom and the vine;
The thorn, the struggle and the strife.
The aeh ing heart are mine;
Ie his a happy grace and ease,
A welcome freshness dwells.
That bids me dream of highland hr stag
Across the heather bells.
I build my castle hat on sand,
1 know It soon will fall;
Agay good-by. • clasping band,
A smile—and this is all.
A winter sunbeam faint and pal*
That bends the snow to kiss;
A winter blossom, small and frail—
My hope is only this!
—.Yew Orleans Picayune,
HUMOR OF THE DAT.
Working on shares—Plowman.
Signal Failures—Old Prob's piedio
tiona.
Some newspapers are too dull to b*
worth filing.
The paper-hanger make* money by
going to the wall.
Female carpenters have appeared la
London. Plane women, probably.
Wouldn't it be sweet revenge to lick
the sugar trust!— Burlington Trss Prose.
An old whaleaman being asked if he
admired the harp said yes, if it waa *
harpoon.
It is not impossible to meet with t
plump refusal from a slender girl.—Nets
Haven Neva.
Time flies and stays for no man. The
only fellow who can beat it is the musi
cian.—Merchant Traveler.
The electric light in cities is a very
great convenience, but drunken men
find it a long distance between posts.—
Somerville Journal.
Women are contradictory creatures.
When thev say they will give you a
piece of their mind, they give you no
peace.— Yonkers Statesman.
“Do you attend any post, Doctorl
You were in the army, were you not!"
“Oh, yes, 1 attend post-mortems occa
sionally.”—Neu> York Journal.
The pale face, when his wife is ill.
Burs tonic and elixir;
The Indian, when his squaw Is ill.
Buys nothing, but he licks 'er.
DanseiUe Brssxe.
“There's many a slip
’Twtit the cup and tbe Up,"
1s a saying that’s frequently quoted;
But that cup to the lips.
Cause the worst kind of slip,.
It a truth that’s as frequently noted.
Boston Budget.
Judge (to dude prisoner)—“What a
shame for a well dressed, gentlemanly
follow like you to be arrested for yelling
on Fifth avenue ot 11 o'clock at night!
What is your profession 1” Dude—
“ Howling swell.” Judge—“ Ten dol
lars.”— TH-BUs.
They have away out in Kansas of
bringing to time unruly members of th*
Legislature. Mr. Funstan, member of
the Committee on Agriculture, was late
at a committee meeting, and the Chair
man fined him six cans of corn.—Com
merrinl Advertiser.
Mother—“ What has become of Charlie!
I haven't seen him once this morning."
Daughter—“He is in Uncle John’eroom.
Uncle John is taking Charlie's photo
graph by the instantaneous process, end
that always takes him three or foot
hours.” — Texas Siftings.
“In the spring e young men’s fancy
lightly turn* to thought* of love.” Oh,
it does, ehl Id the spring o young man's
fancy doesn't do anything of the sort. It
turns to thoughts of how he's going to
get in about five thousand hour* of four
hundred dollar-a-week fun into fourteen
days of ten dollar summer vacation.
A contemporary nska: “How shall
women carry their puraes to frustrate
thieves 1” “Why, carry them empty.
Nothing frustrates a thief more than to
snatch a woman's purse, after following
her half a mile, and then find that it
contains nothing but a recipe for spiced
peaches and a faded photograph of he?
grandmother. ’’
“You can take the witness," said th*
prosecuting attorney in a trial before an
Arkansas t ourt to tho defendant's Inw.
ynr. "Judge;'’ exclaimed e young men
in tbe back part of the room, standing
tip on e seat and waving his heads wild
ly, “don’t let him take iter I That wit
ness has been engaged to mo for more *
three years!”— Arkansas Traretcr.
"This ha queer-looking building, tent
it!” be asked, stopping in front of *
house on Lafayette square. “Yes, his
quite odd and quite old,” she replied,
evincing much interest. “Is it very
old." “Oh, ye*; vory, very old. lea*
remember when—er—rr—have you ever
noticed. Mr. Do Smith, what beatttlfn)
streets w* hare la Washington!"— Was*.
ithpt.m Critics
Algy—"Do you think, my lore, that
your father will consent to our marriage!"
Aogely—“Of course papa will b* very
torey to lose me, darling." Algy— “Bui
I wilt say to him that, loatoad of losing
a daughter, be will gain * eon." Angely—
“l wouldn't do that, lorn, U you nelly
wont me, Pnp* bo* thro# snob eon# liv
ing *i bom* MR. and ha's a UM>* bit
totwby o* tb* point.'