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THE CHARLOTTE NEWS, CUAKLUTTE, N. C, SUNDAY MORNING, JUNE 26, 1921.
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Illustrated by Fontaine Fox
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E WERE sitting at a corner
table In 'a certain small res
taurant hard by where Sixth
Ave.'s L structure, like over
grown straddleburg, wades
through the restless currents of Broad
way at a sharpened angle. The dish
upon which we principally dined was
called on the menu Chicken a la Ma
rengo. We knew why. Marengo, by
all accounts, was a mighty tough bat
tle, and this particular chicken, wo
judged, had never had any refining in
fluences in its ill-spent life. From its
present defiant attitude in a cooktd
form we figured it had pipped the
shell with a burglar's shimmy and
joined the Dominecker Kid's gang bo
fore it shed its pin feathers. Ther
were two of us engaged in the fruit
less attack upon its sinewy tissues the
present writer and his old un-law-abid-Ing
friend Scandalous Doolan.
For a period of minutes Scandalous
wrestled with the thews of one of the
embattled fowl's knee joints. After a
struggles in which the honors stood
practtcallv even, he laid down his knife
and flirted a thumb toward a bottle of
peppery sauce which stood on my side
of the table.
"Hey, bo," he requested, "pass the
liniment, will you? This sea gull's got
the rheumatism."
The purport of the remark, taken in
connection with the gesture which ac
companied it, was plain enough to my
understanding; but tor tne nonce i
could not classify the idiom in which
Scandalous couched this request. It
could not be Underworld jargon: it was
too direct and at the same time t'vj
picturesque. Moreover the Underworld,
as a rule, concerns itself only with
altering such words and such expres
sions as strictly figure in the business
affairs of its various crafts and pur
suits. Nor to me did it sound like the
language of the circus-lot, for in such
case-jt probably would have been more
complex. So by process of elimination
I decided it was of the slang code of
the burlesque and vaudeville stago,
.with which, as with the other two,
Scandalous had a thorough acquaint
ance. I felt sure, then, that something
had set his mind to working backward
along the memory-grooves of some ono
or another of his earlier experiences in
the act-producing line of endeavor, arid
that, with proper pumping, a story
might be forthcoming. As it turned
out, I was right.
"Where did you get that one, Scan
dalous?" I asked craftily. "Your own
coinage, or did you borrow it from
somebody else?"
He only grinned cryptically, After a
bit he hailed the attendant waiter, who
because he plainly suffered from fallen
arches had already been rechristened by
Scandalous as Battling Insteps.
"Say, Battling," he said, "take away
the emu; he's still the undefeated
champion of the ages. Tidy him up a
little and serve him to the next gvy
that feels like he needs exercise more'n
he does nourishment. The gravy may
be mussed up a trifle, but the old ring
general aint lost an ounce. I fought
him three rounds and didn't put a
bruise on him."
"Couldn't I bring you somethin'
else?" said the waiter. "The Weiner
Schnitzel with noodles is very"
"Nix," said" Scandalous; "if the casso
wary licked us, what chance would we
stand against the bison? That'll be
all for the olio; I'll go ' right into the
Rfter-show now. Slip me a dipper of
straight chicory and one of those Flor
de Boiled Dinners, and then you can
break the bad news to my pal here."
By this I knew he meant that ha
craved a cup of black coffee . and one
of the domestic cigars to which he was
addicted, and that I could, pay the
check.' . . ' , ? .
He turned to me:
"How're you goin' to finish your
turn?" he asked. "They've got mince
Windy was the only parent Emily ever
knew, phe having been left a helpless
orphan on account of a railroad wreck
to the old Van Or ten show back yon
der in eighteen-eightx-something. So
Windy, he took her as a prattling in
fant in arms when she didn't weigh an
ounce over a ton and a half, and he
adopted her and educated her and pam
pered her and treated her as a menv
ber of 'his own family, "only better,
until she repaid hni by becoming not
only the largest bull in the busin-iS3
but the most highly cultivated.
"Emily knew nearly everything thera
was to know, and what she didn't
know she suspected very strongly.
Likewise, as I came to find out later,
she was extreiriely grateful for small
favors and most affectionate by nature.
To be sure, being affectionate with a
bull about the size and general speci
fications of a furniture-car had its
drawbacks. She was liable to lean un
against you in a playful, kittenish kind
of a way, and cave in most of your
ribs. It was like have a violent flirta
tion with a landslide to venture up
close to Emily when she was in one of
her tomboy moods. I've known her to
nudge a friend with one of her front
elbows and put both his shoulder
blades out of socket. But she never
meant no harm by it, never. It was
just a little way she had.
"It seems like Windy and Emily
were .liming to join out that season
with a tent-show, but the deal fell
through some way, and for the past
few weeks Windy had been infesting
a lodging-hous for members of the
profession over here on East Elev
enth otreet, and Emily had been 'n
a livery barn down in Greenwich Vil
lage, just naturally eating her old India-rubber
head off. Windy, having
run low as to coin, wasn't able to psy
up Emily's back board, and the livery
man was holding her for the bill.
"So, hearing some way that I'm
fairly well upholstered with currency,
he comes to me and suggests that if
I'll dig up what's necessary to get
Emily out of hock, he can snare i
line of bookings in vaudeville, and
we'll all three go out on the two-a-day
together, him as a trainer and me
as manager and Emily as the princi
pal attraction. The proceeds is to be
cut up fifty-fifty as between me and
him.
"The notion don't sound like such a
bad one. That was back in the days
when - refined vaudeville was running
very strongly to trained-animal acts
and leading ladies that had quit lead
ing but hadn't found out about it yet.
Nowadays them ex-queens of tragedy
can go into the movies and draw
down so much money that if they only
get half as much as they say they're
getting, they're getting almost twice
as much as anybody would give 'em;
but them times, vaudeville was their
one best bet. And next to emotional
actrines who could emosh twice dal'y
for 20 minutes on a stretch, without
giving way ar.y where, a good trained
animal turn had the call. It might be
a troupe of educated Potomac shad or
an educated ape or a city -broke Gil,
monster or ,a talking horse or what
not. In our case 'twas Emily, the bull.
"First thing, we goes down to the
livery-stable where Emily is spending
the Indian summer and consuming
half her weight in dry provender ev
ery 24 hours. The proprietor of this
here fodder-emporium is named Mc
Guire, and when I tells him I'm there
to settle Emily's account in full, he
carries on as though entirely ove:
come by joyfulness--not that he's gst
any grudge against Emily, understand
but for other good and abundant suf
ficiencies. He state that so far as
Emily's personal conduct is concerned,
' during her, enforced sojourn in his
midst, she's always deported herself
like a perfect lady. But she takes up
an awful lot of room, and one of tin
hands is now on the verge of nervous
?Le,he I? JES6 Prostration from overexertions incurred
careful it don't explode in your hand."
I shook my head. "I'll nibble at
these," I said, "until you get through."
And I reached for a little saucer of salt
ed peanuts that lurked in the shadow
of the bowl containing the olives and
celery. For this, you should know, was
a table d'hote . establishment, and no
such place is complete without its
drowned olives and its wilted celery.
"Speaking of peanuts," he said, "I
don't seem to care deeply for such. I
lost my taste for them dainties quite
some time back-"
"What was the occasion?" I prompt
ed, for I saw the light of reminiscence
smoldering in his eye.
"Jt wasn't no occasion," he said; "it
was a catastrophe. Did I ever happen
to tell you about the time I furnish the
financial backing for Windy Jordan
anj his educated bull, and what hap
pened when the blow-off came?"
I shook my head and in silence heark
ened. 'It makes quite an earful," he con
tinued. "Business for gents in my pro.
fession was very punk here on the
Main Stem that season. By reason of
the dishonest police it was mighty hard
for an honest grafter to make a living.
It certainly was depressing to trim an
Ezra for his roll and then have to cut
up the net proceeds with so many cen
tral-office guys that you had to go back
and borrow car-fare from the sucker
to sret home. Besides, t was somewhat
lonely ana low in my peace of mind
on account of my regular side-kick the
Sweet Caps Kid being in the hospital
He'd made the grievous mistake of try
ing to sell a half -interest in the aquar
ium to a visiting Swede. Right in the
middle of the negotiations something
came up that made the Swede doubtful
that all was not well, and he betrayed
his increasing misgivings by hauling
out a set of old-fashioned genuine an
tique brass knucks and nicking up
Sweet Caps' scalp to . such . an extent
mv unfortunate companion had to
spend three weeks on the flat pf his
back in the casualty ward, with a
couple of doctors coming in every
morning to replace tne aivots; .fena-
ing his recovery, I was sort of figuring
on visiting Antioch, Gilead, Zoon and
other religious towns up State with a
view of selling the '"-haymakers some.
Bermuda oats for their fall planting,
when along: came W4ndy Jordan and
broached a proposition
"This here Windy Jordan was one
of them human draughts; hence the
name. At all hours there was a strong
breeze blowing out of him in the form
of words. If he wasn't conversing, it
was a sign he had acute sore throat.
But to counteract that fault he was the
sole proprietor of the smartest and the
largest bull on this side of the ocean,
which said bull answered to the name
of Emily."
"Did you say a bull?" i asked.
"Sure I said a bull. Why not? Ain't
you wise to what a bull is?"
"Certainly I am, but a bull named
Emily "
"Listen, little one; To them that fob
low after the red wagon and the white
top, all elephants Is bulls, disregardless
of genders, just the same as all regu
lar bulls is he cows to refined maiden
ladies residin in New England and
points adjacent. Only, show-people
ain't got any false modesty that way.
In the show-business a bull is a bull,
whether it's a lady-bull or a gentlemih
bull. So very properly this here bull,
being one of the most refined and cul
tured members of her sex, answers to
the Christian name of Emily.
MORE d-rfbh!aho
."Well, 4bis Emily is not only the
Joy and the pride of Windy Jordan'3
life, but she's nis entire available a it
Bets. Bull and bulline, she'd been with
kim Xxona early childhood. In fact.
in packing hay to her, and it seems
she's addicted to nightmares. Sh:
gets to dreaming that a mouse nearly
an inch and a half long is after her
all bulls is terrible afraid, you know.
that some day a mouse is going to
come along and eat 'em--and when
she has them kind of delusions, sh
cries out in her sleep and tossf-s
around and maybe knocks down a cou
ple of steel beams or busts in a row
of box-stall or something trivial like
that. Then, right on top of them pe:
ty annoyances, McGuire some davs
previous has made the mistake of fesd
ing Emily peanuts, which peanuts, ad
he then finds out, is her favorite tid
bit.
" 'Gents," says McGuire to me and
Windy Jordan, 'I shore did make the
error of my life when I don that act
of kindness. I merely meant thrn
peanuts as a special treat, but "Emily
figures it out that they're the- start of a
fixed habit,' he says. 'Ever since thm,
if I forget to bring her in asr ""five
cent bag of peanuts per diem, per d.iy,
she calls personally to inquire into the
oversight. She waits very patient and
ladylike until about eleven o'clock in
the morning, and if I airt't made good
by then, she just pulls up her le nob
ble by the roots and drops in on mp to
find out what's the meaning of the
delay.
" 'She ain't never rough nor ovr
bearinsr. but it interferes with trade
for me to be sitting here in my office
at the front of the stable talking busi
ness with somebody, and all of a sud
den the "front half of the largest ..Eat
Indian elephant in the world shovvs
three or four thousand pounds of her
self in at that side door and begins wav
ing her trunk around in the air, mean
while uttering fretful, complaining
sounds. I've lost two or three custo
mers that way. he says. 'They get
right up and go away sudden," he says,
'and they don't never come back no
more, not even for their hats and um
brellas. They send for 'em.
" 'That ain't the worst of it,' he fays.
'Yesterday,' he says, 'I rented out my
whole string of coaches and teams for
a burial turnout over here on McDou'Vl
street. Being as it's a big occasion,
I'm driving: the first carriage contain
ing the sorrowing family of deceased.
Naturally with a job like that on my
hands, I don't think about Emily at all;
my mind's all occupied up with making
the affair pass off in a tasty and pleas
ant fashion for all concerned. Well,
the .cortege is just leaving the late resi
dence of the remainders, 'vhen around
the corner comes bulging ISmtly, follow
ed at a suitable distance by eight or
nine thousand of the populace. She's
missed me; and now, by heck, she's
found me.
"'Emily gives a loud, glad snort of
recognition, wheels, herself around and
then falls in alongside the front hack
and gets ready to accompany us, all the
time poking her snout over at me and
utterina: plaintive remarks In East In
dian to me. Gents,' he says, 'you can
see for yourselves, a thing like that
occurring right at the beginning of a
funeral procession, is calculated to dis
tract popular attention away from the
main attraction. Under the circum
stances I wouldn't blame no corpse on
earth for feeling jealous let alone a
popular and prominent corpse like this
here one was, a party that had been
a district leader at Tammany Hall in
his day, "and after that the owner of 'the
most fashionalbe retail liquor store in
the entire neighborhood, and who's now
riding along with solid silver handles
up and down both sides, and style lust
wrote all over him. Here, with an
utter disregard for expense, he's put
ting on all this dog for his last public
appearance and a strange elephant
comes along and grabs the show right
away from him.
" 'The bereaved family don't care for
it, neither. I gathers as much from
the remarks they're making out of
the windowg of the coach. But Emily
just won't talte a hint.' She sticks
along until I stops the procession and
goes in a Italian fruitstore on the nest
block and buys her a bag of peanuts.
That's all she wants. She takes it, and
she leaves us and goes on back to the
stable.
'"But, as the feller says, it practj.
cally ruined the entire day for them
berefts. I lost their patronage right
there and them a nice family, too. A
lot of he friends and relatives also re
sented it; they were telling me so all
the way back from the cemetery.
There ain't no Teal harm in Emily,
and I've got powerfully attached to
her, but taking one thing with anoth
er, I ain't regrettin' none that you'va
come down all organized financially to
take her out of pawn. You- have my
best wishes, and so has she.'
"So we settles up the account to date,
which the same makes quite a nick
in the bank-roll, and then we goes ba,vk
to the rear of the stable where Emily
is quartered, and she falls on Windy's
neck, mighty nigh dislocating It, and
he introduces me to Emily, and wa
shakea hands together I mean trunks
and then Windy unshackkles hor.
and she follows us along just as gen
tle as a kitten to them freight-yards
over on Tenth Avenue where her fu.
ture travelling home is waiting for her.
It's a box-car, with one end rigged up
with bunks as a boudoir for me and
Windy, and the rest of it fitted out as
if i oil fe " i mm I
1 here s some scenery in
her way, and some furni
ture and props, but she
don't trouble to go round
significant facts. For one thine
ain't eatin' sacks and all am miH
she's emptying the peanuts om0
throwing the paper bags aside T-n(i
wise her work ain't clean an , Llk
like it was. Her underlip is J1mQt1'
down, and she's beginning tn l'ng
loose goobers off the lower end 01
and her low . but intelligent W
is all furrowed up as if
thought. ith fleet
"Observing all of which, i Mv. 4
myself, I says: . 'If ever Emiiv 1 ft
start to cramp, the world's cram ul1
record is also in a fair way
busted this afternoon. I Certaii 1)6
hope,'' I says, 'that Emily Sj
and get overextended.' 1 So
'You. see, I'm trusting for the t .
because I realizes that it would' 1'
middle of it on account of th
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a private state-room for Emily.
"From that time on, for quite a spell,
we're just the same as one big happy
family, as we goes a jauntily touring
from place to place.
"We're playin' the Big Time, which
means week stands and no hard
jumps. ' Emily's a hit, a knock-out and
a riot wherever she appears. She
knows it too, but success don't go tc
her head, and she don't never get no
attacks of this here complaint which
they calls temper'ment. I always fin
gered out that temper'ment, when "a
grand wopra singster has it, is just
plain old temper when it afflicts -a
bricklayer. I don't know what form
it would take if it should seize on a
bull, but Emily- appears to be absolutely
immune. Give her' a ton of hay and
one sack of peanuts a day, and she's
just as placid as a great gross of guinsa
pigs. Behind the scenes she never
makes no trouble, but chums with the
stage-hands and even sometimes with
the actors, thus proving that she aint
stuck up.
"When the time comes for Emily to
do her turn,' she just goes ambling ci
behind Windy and cuts up more didoc.
than any trick-mule that ever lived.
She smokes a pipe, and she toots on
a brass horn, and waits on table
while Windy pretends to eat, and
stands oh her head, and plays baseball
with him and so forth and so on, for
15 minutes, winding up by waving the
Amurikin flag over her head. But .L
this time she's keeping one eye on me,
where I'm standing in the wings with
a sack of peanuts in my pocket wait
ing for her to come off. Every time
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WfuG Til IS taraapMr Sy'W '
"Emiljrmakesa ; T f -A
side-swipe at a stout & .
gent who's in the 1$ , y
act of climbing a 7 Sh V" & ;: fa i
telegraph pole.'" S? ' j
( she works over toward my side of the
stage, she makes iittle hoydenish re
marks to me in her native language.
It aint long until I can make out v
erything she says. I've been pedding
the bull too long not to be able to un
derstand it when spoke by a native.
"For upwards of two months things
goes, along just beautiful. Then w
strikes a town out in Illinois where
business aint what it used to be, Af in
deed it ever was. Along about the mid
dle of the week the young feller that's
doing the press-work for the house
comes to me and asks me if I ain't got
an idea in my system that might
make a good press-stunt.
"There's an inspiration comes to nv
and I suggests to him that maybe ne
might go ahead and make an announce
ment that following the Saturday mat.
inee, Emily the Pluperfect, Ponderous,
Pachydermical Performer, direct from
the court of the reigning Roger of
Simla County," India, will hold a recep
tion on the stage to meet her little
friends, each and every one. of whom
will be expected to bring her a bag of
peanuts.
" 'That listens all right, says the
lad, 'but providing she likes peanuts.
" 'Providing she likes 'em?' I says
'Son,' I says, 'if "that bull ever has to
take the cure for the drug-habit, it"l
be on account of peanuts. If you don't
think che likes peanuts, a sim will win
you a trip to the Holy Lands,' I gays.
'Why, I says, 'Emily's middle name is
Peanuts. Offhand,' I says. 'I don't
know precisely how many peanuts
there are,' I says, 'because if X ever
heard the exact figures, I've forgot
but I'd like to lay you a little eight
to five that Emily can chamber all the
peanuts in the world and then set
down right where she happens to be,
to wait for next year's crop to come
onto the market. That's how much
she cares for peanuts,' I says.
"Well, that convinces him, and he
hurries off to write his little piece
about Emily's peanut reception. The
next day, which is Friday, the an
nouncement is in. both the papers. Sat
urday after lunch when I strolls round
to the show-shop for the matinee, on-3
glance around the corner from the
stage entrance proves to me that our
little social function is certainly start
ing out to be a success. The. street r.
front is lined on both sides with dagos
with peanutstands, selling peanuts to
the population as fast as they can pas3
'em out; and there's a long line, mainlv
kids, at the box-office. I goes on in
and takes a flash at the front of the
house through the peephole in the cur
tain, and' the place is already jam full.
If there's one kid out there, there's a
thousand," and every tiny tot has got
a sack of peanuts clutched in his or
her chubby fist, as the case may lja.
And say, listen: there's a smell in the
air like a prairie fire running through
a Georgia goober-king's plantation.
"I goes to where Emily is hitched,
and, she's Weaving to and fro on her
legs and watering at the mouth until
she just naturally can't control her
own riparian rights. She's done smelt
that smell too.
" 'Honey gal,' I says to her, 'it shore
looks to me like you're, due tr get
your fullupances of the succuiential
grouhd-pea of the Sunny Southland this
day.' -
"She's so grateful she tries to kis
me, but I ducks. All through her turn
she dribbles from the chin like a de
fective fire-hydrant, and I can tell
that she aint got her mind on her busi
ness. She's too busy thinking about
peanuts. When she's got through and
taken her bows, the manager leaves the
curtain up ' and EfhUy steps back be
hind a rope that a couple of the hanjs
stretches acrosst the stage, with me
standing on one side of her and Windy
on the other and then a' couple move
hands shoves a wooden runway acrojst
the orchestra rail down into one of the
side aisles and 4hen the house-manager
Invites Emily's young friend? to march
up the runway and acrosst over from
left to right, handing out their free
will offerings to her as they pass.
"During this pleasant scene, as the
manager . explains. Emily's dauntless
owner, the world-famous Professor 2on
davesta Jordan, meaning Windy, will
lecture eti the size, dimensions, habits
and quaint peculiarities of this won
drous creature. That last part suits
Windy right down to the ground, him
being, as I told you before, the kind
of party who's never so happy as when
he's, started his mouth and . gone away
and left it running.
"For maybe a half a minute aftT
the house-manager finishes his little
spiel, the kids sort of hang back. Then
the rush starts; and take it from me,
little one, it's some considerable rush.
Here thev come up that runway tiny
tots in biue, and tiny tots in red, and
tiny, tots in white; tiny tots with their
parents, guardians or nurses, and tiny
tots without none; tiny tots that are be
ginning to outgrow the tiny tottering
stage, and other varieties of tiny tots
too numerous to mention, and clutched
in each hand isva bag of peanuts, five
cent size or ten-cent size, but mostly
five-cent size. As Emily sees' 'em com
ing, she smiles until she looks in the
face like one of these here old-fashioned
red-brick, Colonial fireplaces, with
an overgrown black Christmas stocking
hanging down from the center of the
mantel. - ' ;
"Up comes the first " and foremost "of
the tiny tots. The Santy Claus stock
ing reaches out and annexes the free
will offering. There's a faint crunching
sound; that there sack 'of peanuts has
went to the bourne from out which no
peanut, up until that time, has ever
been known to return; and Emily is
smiling benevolently and reaching out
for the next sack. And behind the
second kid is the third kid, and behind
the third kidr still more kids, and as
far as the human eye can. reach, there
ain't nothing on the horizon of that
show-shop but just kids kids and pea
nuts. ; i
"It certainly was a beauteous spec
tacle to behold so many of the dear
little ones advancing up that runway
with peanuts. To myself, I says: '1
guess I'm a bad little suggester, " eh,
what? Here's Easily getting all this
free provender and Windy talking hjs
fool head off and the house getting all
this advertising and none of us out
a cent for any part of it.'
In about ten minutes, though, I'm
struck by the fact that Emily's original
outburst of enthusiasm appears slightly
on the wane. It seems to me she ain't
reaching out for the free-will offerings
with quite so much eagersomeness as
she was displaying a spell bacfl. Also
I takes notice that the wrinkles in
her tumtum are filling out so that
she's beginning to 4ose some of that
deflated or punctured look so common
amongst bulls.
"Still, I don't have no apprehensions,
but thinks to myself that any bull
which can eat half a ton of hay for
breakfast certainly is competent to
take in a couple of wagon-loads of pea
nuts for five-o'clock tea. Even at that
I figgers that it wont do any harm to
coach Emily alon a little.
'"Go to it, baby mine,' I says to. her.
'You ain't hardly started. . Here's a
chance,' I says, 'to establish a new
world's record for peanuts.'
"That remark appears to spur her Up
for a minute or so, but something seems
to keep on. warning me that her heart
ain't in the work to the extent it has
been. Windy don't see nothing but of
the way, he being congenially engaged
in shooting off his face, but I'm more
or pgw nrT-nd hv certain mighty
" . Hue waiting thpif
turn, when there halts in front ,
Emily a fancy-dressed tiny tot whiC
he must've been the favorite tinv S
of tho richest man in town, beW
he's holding in his hands a
peanuts fully a foot deep, it couLwi
of cost a cent less'n half a dollar th .
bag. Emily reaches for the oontS
tion, fondles it for a second or twi"
and starts to upsend it down her tw
and then with a low, sad, hopeless m
she drops it on the stage and sort S
shrugs her front legs forward an
stands there with her head bent ani
her ears twitching same as if she's iit
ening for something that's still a al
ways off but coming closer fast Anfl
at that precise instant I sees the first
cramp start from behind her righthanJ
shoulderblade and begin to work south
Say, it was just like being present at
the birth of an earthquake.
"Moving slow and deliberate Emllv
turns around in her tracks, shiverne
all over,, and then I sees the eraran
ripple along until it reaches her carm
hold arid strikes inward. it lifts all
four of her feet clean off the floor
and -when she comes down again she
comes down traveling. There's some
scenery In her way, and some furnl.
ture and props and one thing and an
other, but she don't trouble to g0
round 'em. She goes through 'em
as being a more simple and direct way
and a minute later she steps out
through' the stage entrance into the
crowded marts of trade with half of a
cottage flat hung around her neck. n
ana winay is trailing aiong, urging her
to be ca'm but keeping at a reasonably
safe distance 'while doing so. Behind
us as we comes forth we can hear the
voices of many tiny tots upraised in
skeered cries.
'Being a Saturday afternoon, the bus
iness section is fairly well crowded
with people, and I suppose it's only na
tural ' that the unexpected appearance
upon the main street of the largest
bull in captivity, wearing part of a set
of scenery for a collar .and making
sounds through her snout like a switch
engine in distress, should t;ause some
surprised comment amongst the popu
lace. In fact, I should say the sur
prised comment, might of bef n heard
for fully a mile aWay.
"Emily . hesitates as she reaches the
sidewalk,, as though she aint decide
yet in her own mind just where she'li
go, and then her agonized eye falls dh
all them peanut-roasters standing in a
double row alongside the curbings 01
both sides of the street. The Italian
and Greek gents who owns 'ern are al
ready, departing hence in a hurrieJ
manner, but they've left their outfit!
behind, and right away it's made plats
to me by her-actions that Emily
gards the sight as a part of a generil
conspiracy, to feed " her some peanut!
when she already has more peanuti
than what she really requires for per
Eonal use.' She reaches out for thf
first peanut-machine in the row, curls
her trunk around it and slams i!
against a brick wall so hard that it
immediately begins to look something
like a flivver car which has been in a
severe collision and something like a
tin accordion that's had hard treat
ment from a careless owner. With this
for a beginning, Emily starts in to get
real rough with them roasters, fx
about three minutes it's raining hot
charcoal and hot peanuts and wooden
wheels and metal cranks and sheet-iron
drums all over that part of the fair
city. '
"Having put the enemy's battels
out of ' commission, Emily now swirls
around and heads back in the opposite
direction with everybody giving net
plenty of room. I heard afterwar.
that some citizens went miles out 01
their way in order to give her room.
Emily's snout is aimed straight up m
though she's craving air, and her tr
ia ifanrllntr atraio-Ut nut behind, P3l
as a poker except that about every fcj'
seconds a painful quiver runs
throu?!i
t frnm Va orrt tVint's nearest JMIUV
to the end that's furthest away frca
her. Windy is hoofing it along mo
50 feet back of her, uttering soothins
remarks and entreating her to listen
. . . Tr; Jr mil
iT-eason, and I'm trailing
for once Emily don't heariten w
her master's voice. ,
"Out of the trail of my eye I s
fat lady start to faint, and when sne
right, in the -middle of the ""i
change her mind about it ana 00
back flip into a plumber's shop,
purtiest you evar seen. I see a poi
man dodge out "from behind ft JT
post as Emily approaches, and rw
for his gun. I yells to him not
shoot, but it's unnecessary aduj
cause ne s oniy cnucKing llia" ..j.
away so'a to lighten him up for a .
sprinting. I see Emily make a 9 (
swipe witn ner nozzie a- ",-.,!,
who's in the act of climbing a telegw
. . , t-u misses W1
poie nana over nana, one "-
Rifjilij mm
i il I j'B'i'"11 T" ''totis v- J-
j S j
She drops in on
me to find out what's
the meaning of the
delay?-
:i;.J- . .
ii f ' ' : .-. x. - . : ' , - '
I.