THE CAROLINA JOURNAL Wednesday, May 4, 1966 Page Three
Cor^ty-Flahes
She’ll Open Her Mouth
And Ruin Whole Thing
By CORNY STILWELL
Girls may be the “romantic” sex, but they’re not
deferred from “opening mouth, inserting foot, and biting
off romance at the ankle.” If we are lucky enough to have
our night of fairytale romance, likely as not we’ll open our
mouth once too often and ruin the whole thing.
There lies the horrible motivating force that leads to
our own destruction. For instance, the giri who’s always
talking (and I’ve really got room to criticize) usually finds
plenty of times when she wishes she’d never learned her
ABC’s. It’s almost an established fact — as nearly every
male knows — that women can’t keep a secret. I mean, if
you’ve got something you want everyone on campus to
know in about 30 minutes, just tell the girl next to you in
the library and when you leave the place — everyone will
know.
When we ought to be quiet, you can wager money that
we won’t. The girl who tells everyone three weeks before a
dance that she’d wish a certain someone would ask her out,
will be the same girl who’s not escorted to the dance by
that certain someone. And too, if you’ll notice the next time
you’re in a movie which guys are slouched way down low in
their seats, you can almost bet that their dates are the “Hi,
Mary, Jane, Sal” type. There isn’t a soul who comes into
the movie to whom she doesn’t speak. Notice, too, how
many of the “Mary, Jane, Sal” sheepishly wave and imme
diately launch a campaign of monopolizing their escort’s
attention?
And speaking of monopolizing someone’s attention,
ever notice the girl who’s draped over some chair talking to
a fellow who’s draped over the next chair — and he’s
wishing he were about three chairs over too! This type is
the one that has false eyelashes that are a little heavy —
notice how long she blinks. That’s because she’s having a bit
of a time opening her eyes with all that extra weight!
And look at her hair. Now you can hardly tell whether
it’s real or not — but please don’t test it out. Last week a
friend of mine mortally wounded three fellows who swore
up and down that they just knew she was wearing a wig!
(She was. Funny thing was — she’s naturally bald!)
Can you imagine the enormous biil this girl has for
cosmetics? She uses 3 tubes of lipstick each week (eve'fy-
time she sneezes into a tissue she wastes $.23 on iipstick
that she wipes off).
Then comes the fun part — the powder and all that
makeup. (For those of you who are unmarried, sisterless
males — there’s pressed makeup, a base makeup, a cover-
up makeup, and the top-soil makeup). Of course, you need
about 2 small shovels per week ... that’s to scrape all this
off once it’s on.
But back to the girl who’s draped over this chair
talking with the boy 3 chairs over ... oh, no, he’s wishing
that he were. Well anyway, guess what they’re discussing?
Baseball.
He says to her that he’s got an extra ticket to the
ballgame and can she go. To which she replies that she’d
love to since she adores baseball. He can’t believe this dame
goes for sports but he’s really delighted that she does. Will
it be a gala evening? I doubt it. On the way to the ballpark
she asked him, “Who’s quarterbacking?”
Of course, there are times when opening one’s mouth
can cause things to backfire on the speaker. Don’t ever
tell youT campus hero you’ll type a term paper for him
— especially if you can’t type! You may get a date with
him for it but you’ii be so exhausted from staying up ali
night bunting for that sneaky little ole number “1” on
the typewriter that you won’t enjoy your date.
Yes, if you’re a female there’s no doubt that you’ve
suffered some attack of “shut my big mouth-itis.” I person
ally can think of many times ever yhour that I have had an
attack. I keep telling myself to try and forget what I’ve said
and to be sure that next time I start to speak I remember
that if I keep my mouth closed people can’t guess just how
dumb I am.
Would You
Believe?
By LEE WASSON
Journal Staff W.rlter
1. What was the name of the
hunchback of Notre Dame?
2. Who was Quasimodo's girl
friend?
3. Who won the 1958 Master's
golf tournament?
4. Who played Apple Annie in
the movie “Pocketful of Mir
acles”?
5. What is the name of Tar-
zan’s son?
6. When did Duke Kahanamoku
win his first Olympic medal?
7. Who is editor of the “Daily
Planet?”
8. Name Perry Mason’s detec
tive friend?
9. What was the name of Ralph
Cramden’s wife?
10. What was the name of Paul
Bunyon’S ox?
11. Who was Joe Magarac?
12. Who is Mia Farrow’s moth
er?
13. To whom is Prince Phillip
married?
14. Which campus beauty is
known as “Wonder Mother?”
15. What North Carolinian re
cently won the World Pocket
Billiards Championship?
16. Who does the voice of Bugs
Bunny?
17. Who does the voice of Mr.
Magoo?
18. Who did the voice of
Flrances the talking Mule?
19. Name the star of the TV
series “Foreign Intrigue?”
20. Who played Sgt. Friday in
the "Dragnet” series?
21. What North Carolina col
lege did Robert Welch attend?
22. Who played Chester on
"Gunsmoke?”
23. With whom did Sweet Betsy
from Pike cross the big moun
tains?
24. Who is Robert Shelton?
Answers
1. Quasimodo
2. Esmeralda
3. Arnold Palmer
4. Bette Davis
5. Boy
6. 1912
7. Perry White
8. Paul Drake
9. Alice
10. Babe the blue ox
11. Legendary steel-worker
12. Maureen O’Sullivan
13. The other Elizabeth
14. Sally Hagood
15. Luther “Wimpy” Lassiter
16. Mel Blanc
17. Jim Bacus
18. Chill Wills
19. Brian Donlevy
20. Jack Webb
21. LTNC
22. Dennis Weaver
23. Her lover Ike
24. Imperial Lizard of the Ku
Klux Klan
LITTLE MAN ON CAMPUS
ANP HE WA6 CAPTAIN OF TH' P^BATC TEAM.
Library Adds Over
Two Hundred Books
A significant addition has been
made to the Atkins Library with
the acquisition of all except
fifteen volumes of the 263 volume
set, General Catalog of Printed
Books. The books were acquired
shortly after Easter holidays.
This set is a ■ comprehensive
listing of the books, periodicals,
and other material available in
the British Museum, the national
library of Great Britain, as of
January 1, 1956. The remaining
fifteen volumes will be shipped to
the library as soon as they are
published later this year.
The General Catalogue is prin
cipally an author catalog, with
title entries or cross references
for anonymous works and a
limited number of subject en
tries. Full imprint information is
given for most titles. The acqui
sition of this set means that the
Atkins Library now own two of
the major bibliographical tools
used by librarians and research
ers throughout the world. The
other tool owned by tiie library is
the National Union Catalog, c.
complete listing of resources in
the Library of Congress, the U.S.
national library.
Scotl Welton
Ivan
Campus representatives of Connecticut Mutual Life Insurance
Company — Suite 909 N. C. National Bonk Building
Phone 377-4961
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