i IS page five/the journal/april 18, 1972 ...0 column of impressions Sara’ s grave .by Charlie herndon Things that I wonder about; Will Nixon use nuclear devices in Vietnam? Why is there a small cage of animal bones in Valandignham Glen? Why are the dorms not air conditioned on 88-degree days? Can you remember: Who your first date was? What your first meal at summer camp was? Who threw the last Frizbee that you caught? Where you first heard the word "God"? Have you ever: Broken a toe? Had an elevator party? Memorized the instructions that come with Hai Karate? Enjoyedtwo SAGA meals consecutively? Things that will never happen: Dr. Jordan becoming the next Chancellor here. An air conditioned Reference section in the Library. Two thousand students voting in a campus election. Supposedly, the Food Services Committee has voted not to renew SAGA's contract for dormitory food service. Now all that is needed is S.M. Vaughn's approval of the action. Good riddance, SAGA! Rumor also has it that Servomation will replace them in the fall. This spring's legislative elections may turn out to be interesting after all. There is a total of nine incumbents running for re-election who may not make it again. Those in danger of being unseated are: Fish Foster, Charlie Herndon, and Jane Sigmon (Humanities); Richard Butterfield and Ron Young (Social and Behavioral); David House (Math and Nat. Sciences); Tim Page (Architecture); and last but not least, Phil Nesbitt and Boone Wayson who the only two running for Junior Class President. How committed to the rights of students was the past Legislature? Earlier in the year, the Legislature, behind the leadership of Stan Patterson, acted to prevent the dorm students from being unfairly assessed a $2.00 damage fee. Later, however, when the students recieved notice of the $50.00 Tuition Deposit requirement, there was not one wordspoken in the Legislature about the fairness of this action to students. One didn't have to go far to hear the grumbles of disapproval, yet the student leaders never once considered this matter important enough to investigate. There is a committee which is in the process of determining the validity of the requests of students for a waiver from this tuition deposit in case of hardship, etc. This committee is composed entirely of administrative officials. We have no way of knowing who is getting shafted by them. Possibly, everyone felt that because this was a state law, that contesting it in any way was futile. However, merely being a state law doesn't make it right. The time, place, and the support was there for action. Presumably, if the student leaders had acted quickly and efficiently in an attempt to determine the fairness of this policy, the students would have accepted their decision. After all, what are leaders for? And as one official on the Waiver Request Committee commented to me..."What the hell would happen if 3200 continuing students refused to pay that deposit?" Think about it... Yes sir-! It's true. We are returning to the good old days. You know, with the tennis shoes, the romantic movies, the soft music, and the resumption of the bombing of North Vietnam. Anybody going th New York for the 22nd? Rumor has it that our Chancellor, D. W. Colvard will be leaving us soon for Lord only knows where. This will undoubtedly precipitate a succession crisis. For my part, I nominate Bonnie Cone. This institution is growing at an unbelievable pace! Why, the administrative officials even have to wear identification tags. You don't believe me? Well just look around. For example: Ken Sanford, Director of the Office of Information, has been seen wearing his own SANFORD button; and. Joe Bowles, Publications Director, has been seen wearing his BOWLES button . Great idea, huh? But when did Ed Wayson change his name to McGOVERN? Then Mercifully I Fainted A Pretty Boy Is Like A Malady For all of you who have been curious but haven't been able to bring yourselves to pick up or open the newest Cosmopolitan, Burt Reynolds has a nice body. He's lying there very coy on a bearskin rug, a cigar protruding from his mouth at a Groucho Marxish angle (Groucho Marx as a foldout! Now there's a thought), his left arm and hand coyly and strategicly placed, air-brushing assiduously applied. Helen Gurley Brown has struck again. The the English edition of Cosmo, Paul de Feu, a construction worker, is featured - the joke there being that Paul de Feu is at Cosmo chauvanisticly prints, "Mr. Germaine Greer N^ heights for us all. 'Didn't Al Capp do like this several years ago Abner as the foldout in something with L'il Plowboy. The whole idea has an Al Capp mentality. Is it supposed to ^ an example of new female freedorn? Now fourteen year-old girls will have something to sneak night and hide in the back of the rinset Are we on the road to men becoming so-called sexual objects? Will they start worrying about their bodies now? Will padded jocks become the in-thing as Cosmo coyly prints "3" by 6’/5" limp", 6" by 7" erect?? Perhaps a "respectable" magazine combining Cosmo and Playboy will emerge featuring a happy, healthy, air-brushed nude couple, with nice homey shots of them in everyday half-nude life doing such nich homey things as cleaning the bathtub and emptying the kitty-litter. Will Cosmo start printint erotic poetry in praise of the symmetry of men's buttocks? Will the buttocks of Cosmo's foldouts have to serve the function of the breast of Playboy's and Penthouse's fold-outs, and will women write letters, a' la Penthouse! "How dare you chose Mr. X as Plaything of the Year? His cheeks have nowhere the fullness of those of Mr. Y in April's issue. I'd kick him out of bed." The possibilities are endless. Burt Reynolds was not paid, and Paul de Feu received only $500, which seems unfair. I supose their comfort is the realization that relatively few of their fold-out photos will end up with dried sperm sticking to they. (A woman wrote Penthouse asking why they didn't put in a nude male and the editor replied "Because it's the international magazine for men." Obviously, Penthouse considers male homosexuals, something other than men — what is not clear.) Another question is: will the idea of a male nude fold-out sell? Is Cosmo now speedily going to rise in circulation to Playboy's volume? Do women want male nude photos? None of us, male or female, is conditioned to think It is generally accepted that men appreciate the beautiful women in ads, but has anyone ever considered the women who are bombarded with blondes selling cars, brunettes selling bras, red-heads in 'Vogue', and all the beautiful girls in all the thousands of ads? Women too are told, "This is beauty. This is to be desired." Is this sort of thing conditioning women toward a lesbian path, however latent? It seems a logical conclusion to draw. Such a practice can hardly breed narcissism alone, although it undoubtedly breeds that. After being praised in song and poetry and being portrayed as goddesses in ads, women are then accused of vanity. C'est la - by Iloyd rote guerre. Life is full of these little inconsistencies. So will nude men sell? Or, alternatively, will a cult of "Male is beautiful" begin and becarried to its logical conclusion where men are sneered at and dismissed if their bodies are less than perfect? Probably not, unless more buying power does shift to women and ad agencies can imply that if Mr. A. buys a van she may get a lay from Mr. B, sprawled there so enticingly on the hood. It doesn't seem to have occurred to anybody to try and do away with the cult of beauty altogether! Which is at base a cult of cruelty. It is one thing, and an inevitable state of affairs, to appreciate and desire the beautiful. It is another to desire it only to the exclusion and criticism of the not-beautiful. This is cruel not only to women who are not beautiful, but to ugly men, the deformed, and the old. And even the beautiful do not last. Like that little body and saying that Women's Lib is silly, if a woman just keeps herself beautiful, any man will do her proud. What happens to her when she's 50?