TERMS: $1.25 Per Year In Advance.
CONCORD, N. 0., FRIDAY, MAECH 1G, 1888.
ANTHONY & CROSS, Editors and Publishers.
a Valentine. -TVhea
azure skies confront the day,
AnJ far and near the soft suns shine
To live and breathe were simple joy
Perchance one needs no Valentine.
jut when the skies are full of storm.
And lost in gloom the days decline,
The lonely heart sinks sad and chill
The heart that has no Valentine.
And shrinking from th' embodied death.
Of space beyond the farthest sign,
The spirit, frozen at its source,
Dreams of no trivial Valentine,
Yet even then the sweet earth throbs
With sunbursts down her ancient line;
The snow-flake promises a flower,
The snow-bird hints a Valentine.
Awaywith care! This fragrant hair
Into true lovers' knots I twine;
Those velvet lips bring Summer now j
To me, my little Valentine! ;
A force of nature, as the moon,
Makes wide eclipse and dim design ' .
All the great sphere of sorrow you f
Shut out from me, my Valentine
You are a trifle turned of four,
And I am all of ninety-nine;
But dark and drear as death wer
If you were not my Valentine!
AUNT HULDAH'S STORY.
Do you suppose Til get a valentine,
"Fur mercy's sake, Kitty!" said I,
laying down on my lap fie vest upon
which I was working buttonholes, "do
you never think or speak of anything
but valentines at this time of year?"
Kitty pouted, and shook her yellow
braids the real corn-stalk yellow that
matched her blue eyes as perfectly as if
m 3 designer in high art had picked
th?m out to correspond.
"Well, aunty, why shouldn't Ii" said
s'le. "Just look at those blue-birds
darting in and out of tho old cedar
tree! They're twittering 'St. Valen
tine's Diy,' you may be very sure. Look
at tli3 crocus-bud peeping out from
under the dead leaves !' -
"Well," said I, curtly, "you're
neither a blue-bird nor a crocus, so how
would it do if you were to go to work
on Lizzie Barrow's new dress?"
Kitty was a quici:-tempered little
thing from her cradle, and she fired up
at this rebuke.
"I might have known better than to
expect any sort of sympathy from an old
maid !" said she, catching up her work
basket, and flying out of the room.
It was scarcely five minutes, however,
before she returned, tearfal and peni
tent. "Aunt Huldah," said she, "I'm so
sorry! Please kiss me, and be friends!
I didn't mean to call you thst that
"Oh, bless you child!" said I. "I
don't mind being called an old maid. I
am one, you know, and the truth
oughtn't to sting."
"But you are tho dearest, nicest,
prettiest old maid in the world, Aunt
Huldah!'' cried the girl, caressingly.
"Fiddlesticks!" said I. "I'm as
homely as a hedge-fence, and I know it.
Now leave off coaxing and flattering,
and go about your business !"
And Kitty obeyed, singing a snatch
out of "Love's Young Dream," for she
knew that she was forgiven.
Yet tho words recurred to me over
and over again, a? I sat stitching there
with the yellow February sunshine
streaming through tha white-curtained
window, and tin blue birds whistling
to each other outside.
Yes, I was an old maid, 40 last birth
day. It was rather absurd of my pretty
niece, Kitty, to expect me to sympathize
with her on the question of lovo and
lovers. Well, I would make the best of
it, I resolved, and to try to bs as cheer
ful a? possible.
"What's for dinner, Aunt Huldah?"
said Kitty, coming to me at last
"Pork and beans. You'll find the
pork in tho brine barrel down cellar ; be
sure and pick out a nice, smill, square
piece, and bring the beans to me, and
I'll pick them over. It will save you
Kitty looked at me, as I sat picking
over the white beans.
"Aunt Huldah," said she, "you've
got a beautiful profile you have, in
deed ! You must have been real pretty
when you were a girl. Aunt nuldah,
why did you never get married?"
"Because Cupid never came my
way," said I, with a laugh. "Here
are tho beans, Kitty. Get them a-soak
as quick as possible."
Just then Betsey, Mr. Chandler's
maid, came in.
"Could you lend ma a yeast-cake,
Miss Darwin?" said she. "I've some
how got clean out o' yeast-cakes. And,
"That gray cat o' yourn has scratched
up all Mr. Chandler's seed-lettuce
"You shouldn't have left the cold
frame sashes off, Betsey."
"Well, p'raps we should an' p'rap
we shouldn't," remarked the independ
ent Betsey. "But our lettuce, it's
a-growin' in our own garden, you know,
an' it's no way pleasin' tohev the neigh
bors' cat3 a-haulin' of it outer the
ground with their claws. And it was
only yesterday week the dratted creetur'
broke tho glass of the dairy-window,
arter the pans o cream!" .
"Iam very sorry, Betsey," said I;
"But I'm not!" flashed back Kitty
(whoso maternal grandfather had come
from County- Cavan, in Ireland, and who
thereby had inherited a strain of fight
ing blood). "Didn't your Nero break
down our prettiest chrysanthemums last
fall? Didn't he worry our nicest white
kitten to death?"
B;tsey took her yeast-cake and
flounced out of tho room.
"Now she will go and repeat all this
to Mr. Chandler," said I.
Lot her!" said defiant Kitty. "It's
nothing more than the truth!"
"But he has always been such a pleas
ant neighbor," said I, piteously, "and
Nero is a very nice dog, after all, when
he isn't in mischief."
"Well, ha wouldn't remain at Elm
Lodgo much longer, anyway," said
Kitty. "If he's really going to marry
Miss Poultney, at the Court, it's likely
that he'll go there to live. Though it is
rather nice, having the minister for a
next-door neighbor, the dog to the con
trary notwithstanding. Handy in case
of a wedding."
I shook my head at her.
"Well," cried tho wild gipsy,
can one think of anything else on
Just then Grayette cams in -our great,
purring, beryl-eyed household p2t, who
was dearer to my old-maid soul than I
cared to acknowledge, even to Kitty.
"Poor puss!' said I, caressing her
with my disengaged hand. "But you
will have to go away if you are becom
ing a nuisance to the neighbors."
And then and there it was that I
secretly made up my mind .what to do.
The sun set fair and golden, as if it
were a spring evening, the stars
glistened like dots of fire against tho
heaven. Kitty came home from the
postoflice with sundry significant letters
in her bag, and scarcely less significant
rose3 on her cheeks, and presently the
iht flashed into Mr. Chandler's study-
window, on tho other side of the fence.
In the summer-time it was hidden in
a hedge of lilacs, but the bcughs were
all leafless now, and I could distinctly
sec him sitting by his fire, with his
hand on Nero's head.
"He is fond of his dog," I thought.
"Well, pussy shall not make trouble be
tween us any longer. Oh, dear! it will
bo terribly lonesomo when tho light
doesn't shine these nights any more;
when he is married to Judgo Poultney's
Kitty kissed mo oftencr than usual
that night before she went to be.l.
"Dear Aunt Huldah," said she, "we
have been very happy here, you and I,
haven't we? Even though you are only
a poor little 'hand on vests,' and I a
"Why, of course we have!" said I.
"And wo should miss each other ter
ribly, shouldn't we, if if we were
"Nonsense, child! What should part
"Oh, I don't know! Something
"Go to bed, and don't bo silly !" said
Early in the dawn of the next morn
ing, I rose and dressed myself. I had
determined to take Grayetto over to
tho Widow Singleton's before Kitty was
up in the morning, to make a fuss about
it. Mrs. Singleton was fond of pets,
and I knew my cat would have a good
And, spite of my Spartan resolutions,
a tear splashed down on pussy's gray
coat, as I tucked her under my plaid
blanket shawl and stepped boldly out
into the melting snow, now all pink
with the glow of sunrise.
"Poor dear pussy!" thought I
"Your little, flannel-lined basket by
the fire will never be of any use again!
And the cracked saucer that you lapped
your milk out of I shall never bear to
look at it any more; for, oh "
Involuntarily I uttered the shriek,
for Grayette had sprung out of my arm?,
and was arching her back and magnify
ing every separate hair on her tail,
while Nero, on his side of the fence,
was barking a shrill series of defiances,
and leaping up and down in vain en
deavors to get at his adversary and tear
her limb from limb.
"Oh, pussy, pussy!" cried. I, trying to
recapture my feline favorite.
"Nero, sir, behave yourself!" uttered
the stern voice of Mr. Chandler, once
more recovering his grasp of the chain,
which Nero had jerked out of his hand
in the suddenness of the fray. "Mi3s
Darwin, I have to make you a thousand
apologies for the annoyances Nero has
causedyou of late, and to thank you for
the forbearance you have shown to
ward him. He shall never trouble you
again. I am going to send him by ex
press to my brother in Wisconsin. We
are on the way to the express office
now, so that Nero may get the early
"Oi dear!" cried I; "and I am just
taking Grayetto to Mrs. Singleton, so
that she need not scratch up your gar
den seeds, nor rob Betsey's dairy any
"What! that beautiful catf'cried Mr.
Chandler. "I cannot think of allowing
such a thing. You must keep her, Miss
"Not unless you will promise to send
Nero back to his kennel," pleaded I.
"You have been forbearing enough,
already," said Mr. Chandler.
"I shall not impose upon your good
nature any more," said I, firmly.
Just thon tlia shutters ia the upper
casement op3ncd. Kitty thrust out her
cornstalk-colored head. Her eyes were
sparkling like blue stars. She clapped
"Oh, I have caught you two, have I"
said she. "So, Mr. Chandler is Auat
Huldah s Valentiae."
"The first you see at the window,
The first you meet on the way,
Shall be your loving Valentine
For a year, a month and a day."
Her sweet, saucy voice rang out like
a flute on the frosty air.
I stood transfixed with horror at her
audacity, my cheeks burning with !
blushes, my eyes riveted to the ground.
But Mr. Chancier flung the loop of
Nero's chain over the fence, and stepped
bravely to my side.
"I, for my part," said he, "can wish
for no happier fortune, if you, Huldah,
"But you are in jest !' murmured I.
"I never was more in earnest in my
life," said he, taking my hand. "We
are neither of us young, Huldah, but I
think that it is not the young alone who
know what true love m.2aas. Nor have
I lived your near neighbor for a year
without learning to appreciate the
6weet unselfishness of your character.
Dear Huldah, I will be your faithful
Valentine all my life, if you will but
accept my devotion."
Well, perhaps it is not necessary to
say whit my answer wa We are to bo
married as soon as the new rectory is
finished, and Grayette and Nero ore to
be trained to bo tho best of friends. Mr.
Chandler says he will not keep house
without Grayette at our hearthstone,
and I am really getting very fond of
Nero. As for Kitty, she is quite con
tent. "Because, of course, after the valen
tine that David Ely sent m?," said she,
" I shall be married to him very soon,
and I coulln't bear the idea of leaving
dear little Auat Huldah all alone. And
I take all th credit to myself, because I
don't believe either of them would have
had courage to say what was in their
heads if I hada't put my head out of the
window and sung that St. Valentine's
But, of course, that is only Kitty's
nonsense. Saturday Niht.
The Ojiaint Careans.
Although Chinese and Japanese dig
nitatis have long been ffimi iar ii this
country, there is enough that is nov.l in
the costumes and cintoms of tho mem
bers of the Coreannc Enbassy at Wash
ington to excita great attention at the
capital. Their walk is described as a
'stately glide," and the Minister espe
cially, although hardly up to the average
height, is credited with an unusually
dignified gait, set off by "a serono
smile." A mass of skirts and furbelows
of the richest silks is a leading feature
in their garments, rustling as they
walk; while their "tall black hats of
horse-hair, set daintily on the crown of
the head, which is itself toppsd by the
coilof hair," were not removed, it is
said, during their preliminary interview
with Mr. Bayard. This . head -gear,
through which the air can circulate, is
hardly such as an American would.fancy
for this time of the year; but then
Americans without practice could hardly
balance the hats at all. Their features,
are of the true Mongolian type, and the
visitors seem well pleased with their
novel surroundings, and with customs
which would doubtless appear more
singular had not Americans been for
years in favor with the King of Corea.
Remarkable Engineering Feat.
A remarkable engineering feat has
just been carried out in China in the
face of unusual physical obstacles. This
was the stretching of a steel cable of
seven strands across the Luan River by
Mr. A. de Linde, a Danish civil en
gineer, aided only by unskilled
Chinese labor. Tho cable is strung
from two points 4048 feet apart
Tho height of one support is 447 feet
above tho present level of the river and
tho second support 737 feet above it.
The vertex over the water is 78 feet.
The Chinese cable is tho longest but
one in the world. Tho telegraph air
cable across tho Kistnn has a span of 3,
070 feet; two similar cables cross tho
Ganges, one 2,900 and the other 2,830
feet. A third liae of 1,133 feet crosses
the Hooghly, and in the United States
there is one over the Missouri of 2,000
feet. Indian Engineering.
An Interesting Performance.
Mrs. Cleveland kisses her husband
good bye in the railroad station when
she comes shopping from Washington to
New York. She puts her left arm upon
his ample shoulder she can't get it
around his neck and with the right
draws his face down to hers, kissing it
as it were, in transit. New York
Every Quarter of the Globe Ran
sacked for Sweet Savors.
How Pepper, Cinnamon and
Cloves are Prepared.
"Dou't stand so near the wheel! It
weighs two tons and is making COO revo
lutions a miautc. The suction is enough
to draw you in."
So spoke the engineer as a New York
Mail and Express reporter looked at tho
machinery that operated long lines of
shafting and belting, The engine
works all of the machinery in a great
spice mill, one of tho largest and best
equipped in tho country, and located
right in the heart of New York City.
Standing on the top floor the superin
tendent said: "Here are the spices as
they come to us. This bin contains
mustard seed, this ono is full of whole
peppers from Singapore, and here we
have cinnamon from Ceylon and ginger
from Jamaica. There are several bins
of each kind of spice, an 1 each contains
different grades. The mustard seed is
fed through pipes to a pair of large steel
rollers on the floor below. These crush
it out into small flakes. Tho first
quality of mustard is ' made by putting
these flakes into a long row of iron
mortars, in which the flakes are pounded
to an impalpable powder by steam trip
Twenty-five of these hammers began
risincr and falling at this moment and
tho noise was so great that all further
words were lost. Tho powdered
mustard was shovelled up into screens
made of the finest silk and placed in
sets of eight on oscillating tables. The
second grade of mustard, after being
crushed, is placed in bags between hair
mattresses in a hydraulic press and
subjected to a pressure of 5,000
pounds to the square inch. This re
moves a large proportion of the oil, and
leaves a dry, hard cake, which, when
ground, is sold for second-grade
mustard. The oil is usod by confec
tioners, and also in place of olive oil for
Long pipes connect with the pep
per linscn the top "floor, and feed the
whole pepper seeds to the mills. These
arc similar to flour mills revolving
stones. Tho pepper when ground is
picked up by an endless chain of buck
ets and taken to revolving screens; the
coarse part3 arc returned to the mill, and
the fine pepper passes into bins in the
packing room below. Cinnamon, all
spice aud cloves are ground in a similar
manner. Herbs, such as thyme and
sage, require a special mill. It is a pair
of stone wheels that travel around a
centre, grinding substances on the stone
floor. They are enclosed in a tight
room so that nothing escapss when they
are at work.
In the packing department of the mill
two dozen girls aro at work making and
filling boxes with tho different spices.
A box-folding machine does tho work of
ten girls. It takes tho flat cardboard,
folds and pastes it and turns out a box
every three seconds. The automatic
weighing machine is a revolving marble
table, on which are four sets of scales.
Tho weights are set at one pound on
each of the scales, a cardboard box is
placed on the scale and a tube from
above fills the box until it contains just
one pound. When the scale reaches the
balance point a valve shuts off tho sup
ply until an empty box takes the place
of the full one.
Stepping into the office the superin
tendent explained that the best pepper
is the "shot" pepper, as it is in heavier
grains than tho Signapore pepper,
which is the second grade, but both
kinds come from Singapore. A still
lower grade comes from the island of
Sumatra. White pepper is the kernel
with the shell removed, and though
just as fiery it has not the flivor of the
black pepper. Pepper is often adulter'
ated with charcoal and buckwheat.
The best red pepper comes from Natal
and costs fifty cents a pound. A lower
grade comes from Zanzibar.
Brown nutmegs from Penang, W.
I., are tho best They are in their natural
state, and aro so full of oil that it will
ooze out if an incision be made. The
nutmegs kept by most grocers are the
lower grades that arc put through a
sweating process to remove tho oil, and
are rolled in lime to cover up all the de
fects. . Tin best cloves come from
Penang and aro sua dried. Cheaper
grades come from Zanzibar, and are
kiln-dried, with much of the oil extract
ed. Ground cloves are adulterated by
leaving in the stems. Pimento, or all
spice, comes from Jamaica.
The best ginger also comes
from the same place, and is bleached
white. Borneo ginger is often chalked
to make it look like the bleached arti
cle. African ginger is dark in color and
poor in quality, but as it is very much
cheaper than the other kind it is most
used. Ceylon cinnamon is worth $1 a
pound, and Is very little used. Cassia,
the outside bark of the tree, is the sub
stance in general use and costs about
one-tenth of the genuine articit.
The Fountain or Youlli.
For the last six years ever since the
foundation of Chamberlain---tho Sioux
Indians have endeavored to prevent the
whites from getting possession of Amer
ican Island, which lies in the centre of
the Missouri river. It was always sup
posed that their reason was of a mer
cenary character, an 1 that their object
was to cut the timber with which the
island is covered, and turn it into the
bright, yellow gold - which they now
covet so much.
But a different reason has lately, and
by accident, been discovered. It has
always been supposed that when the
Spaniards failed to discover the fabled
fountain of perpetual youth among tho
everglades of Florida, the romantic
dream ended thero and men grew old
aud gray as of yore. Not so, however,
as this narrative will show. On the
upper end of this island, hidden by
drooping evergreens, and shaded by
stately cottonwoods, is a spring. It
bursts forth clear and beautiful, and
with a murmur as soft as a maiden's
prayer glides from its island,
home into the yellow.
gurgling wateri of tho Missouri.
The water retains the same temperature
winter ard summer, and its volume re
tains its uniformity throughout the year.
It contains, in all probability, the dif
ferent carbonates, and that i3 the cause
of the youth -retaining qualities which
Indians attribute to it.
The secret was-let out a few days ago
by an old hunter, who was familiar with
the Indians and tho spring long before
this place existed in the fervid imagin
ation of John II. King. They have
thrown a sanctity around it, and for
years have been in tho habit of drink
ing of its life-giving principles and of
immersing the younger members of the
tribe in its mystical depths. They im
agine that its source lies amid the per
petual fires that radiate from the centre
of tho earth, and that the fountain is
presided ovt'r by the father of the Indian
race, who is doomed throughout all
time to regulate the temperature of the
spring for the benefit of those who
dread to see tho footprints of old time
mar their classic features. St. Paul
Jay Gould's First Love.
At Plattsburg, N. Y., Jay Gould's
first love keeps a boarding place. She
is elderly and gray haired now and i3
not strikingly handsome, but in her day
she was blithesome and pretty. ' She was
the daughter of a country storekeeper.
Jay Gould, after leaving his father's
farm, went to work in the store, and
promptly fell in love with the rosy
cheeked maiden. But the old man had
much higher views of his daughter's
future than her marriage with a ycung
man in his own shop would realize. He
not only gave youug Gould to under
stand that a marriage was out of the
question, but dispensed with his ser
vices as well. Jay took his injection
philosophically enough and gave him
self up to the work of making a fortune.
While he was growing rich and richer
and piling million on million, hi3 old
love was vainly trying to battle with
misfortune. Her father, who had
plumed himself so proudly on the
ownership of his "general 6tore,"
failed; the husband whom she took
after Jay Gould had gone away brought
little to her; and so at the end she en
deavors to eke out an income by open
ing her house to summer boarders. She
has a wondrous amount of philosophy in
her make-up and very little envy. She
is bright, good natured and contented
with what fortune has brought o1
cught one to say left---her. Some o
Jay Gould's relatives spend a few weeks
at her farmhouse every year, but Jay
himself never goes there. Chicago
- Any one can verify his instrument at
tho freezing point by immersing the
b'-ilb and tube in melting siow or
broken ice up to the top of the mercury
column. The mercury, after a few
minutes' exposure to the ice, should
stand at 32 degrees, or freezing. This
method is in use in the United States
signal service, where all thermometers
arc verified four timss a year with
great care. Tha errors for other points
of . the scale may best be. deter
mined by immersion in water with a
reliable instrument. Thi water may be
gradually heated and the instruments
compared at various points as the tem
perature increases. The water should
be constantly stirred and care should be
taken not to force tho uwrcury to the
top of the tube, thus breaking the ther
mometer. A common difficulty with
cheap instruments is that the tube is
liable to slip on the scale, rendering the
readings erroneous. In selecting a ther
mometer the purchaser should see that
the tube is securely fastened in its place.
Boston Transcript .
Not For the Table.
Servant (in boarding house); "Ah,
Misther Dumley, such beaut if ut ducks
Dumler (excited): "Ducks! You don't
say so, Bridget 1" -
Servant: "Yis, sorr, it's an ile paint
in' fer the dining-room," Epoch.
At a French agricultural school wheat
is soaked in acetate of lead solution six
hours before sowing. ' The seed is said
to germinate more quickly, and grow
more vigorously than wheat subjected
to any other fertilizing treatment.
Sixty lakes can be counted, it is said,
from the summit of Mount Whiteface in
the Adirondacks. Whit.facc is over
5,000 feet high, and so are Mounts Sew
ard, Mclntyre, and several others, but
the highest is Mount Marcy, which rises
3, 337 feet.
According to tho Electrical Review
medicine may be introduced into the
human system by electricity. Tha
electrodes of a battery aro saturated
with the msdiciao and applied locally to
tho skin. Experiments show that there
is an actual absorption of the medicine
into the system.
A commission of the Paris academy of
medicines finds that hydrofluoric acid,
which is highly antiseptic, his a thera
peutic action when inhaleJ. It dissents,
however, from the opinion of glass
workers that the iahalations cure con
sumption, but considers that they may
be useful in diphtheria.
A society has been formed in Mar
seilles to develop the trade in frozen
fish, which are now imported into
France and Swifzerland from various
parts of the Mcditcrancan and Atlantic.
A machiae evaporating sulphurous acid
maintains a temperatura of about zero,
in which, as experiments has shown,
fish can be kept for seven or eight
months without alteration.
Three new vessels of tho Italian navy
lie Umber to, Sicilia and Sardcgna
are each to be provided with engines to
develop the enormous force of 22,800
indicated horse-power. Previous to
1881 the greatest power put into one
ocean vessel wa3 about 8000 indicated
horse-power, but the Itilians now have
two vessels of 18,000 indicated horse
Gla33 blowing is an art nearly 4,000
years old, and peihaps much older.
Yet there has never been any means dis
covered of dispensing with the human
lungs as the instruments of the blow
ing. An English company is experi
menting with a mould and mechanical
bellows, which does satisfactory work
at bottle-blowing, but this pretends to
attempt only coarse work.
A new theory of the formation of
mountains has been off jred by Mr. M.
T. Mellard Reade, the well-known Eng
lish geologist. He supposes that the
periods of great sedimentary deposit
that have preceded the lirth of every
large mountain rango have been fol
lowed by a great elevation of tem
perature, producing expansions of the
strata, with consequent forcing up of
ridges. Labaratory experiments with
the various rocks show that heating
would give such results.
The custom of oiling boots and shoes
to shed tho water is becoming quite
common since the shoeblacks find a way
to put a polish over the oleagenious
coat. Only rubber shoes, however, will
keep out the snow water; but to many
rubber shoes arc objectionable, who
take the alternative to wearing the
noisome heavy shoe3. The cork sole
protecting tho foot from the damp and
chill of the sidewalk is evidently grow
ing ia favor. Felt inner soles keep the
feet warm but afford no protaction
against penetrating slush.
Detecting Counterfeit by Feeling.
A bank cashier says that the best way
to tell a counterfeit bill is by sound and
feeling. "Take a bill firmly between
tho thumb and index finger of your left
hand and pull it quickly through your
fingers like this. Now listen to tho
sound it makes. It is not just like rub
bing silk, and neither does it resemble
a paper sound closely. It's a noise that
is too peculiar to admit of a descrip
"Do they make counterfeit paper so
like the original that you can't tell the
You can't tell bv looking at it. It is
only by the sound and touch. Now lis
ten to the sound made by this counter
feit $20 bill. You see, that's a slick
noise, something like pulling glazed or
oiled paper through the fingers. A child
could tell the difference between that
bill and a genuine one. But look at it
and you will think your eye is on some
thing that would pass muster for $20
worth of groceries."
"Who taught you this business?"
"Oh, my first lesson was given by an
old man who had been all over thi3
country and Europe teaching the busi
ness. Ho has in his possession over a
thousand specimens of counterfeits. He
obtained them from the authorities of
the different governments. He has
peer in the business, and every expert
in the country owes his knowledge to
this old man. Kansas City Star.
Never Tasted Hay.
Lady to clerk "This tea smells pecu
liar. Don't it tasto like hay?"
Clerk "I really cen'tsay, never hav
ing tasted any hay."
Lady "I wasn't certain about that'
Sif tings. - -
The poet paused and listless dropped his psn.
"I'll think no more," he said. "The world
lis filled with thought, and weary-minded
Have gleaned enough from all that time
write no more; all themes are over-
And only wrinkles deck the pale sad brow of
"Why store the brain, to stoop beneath the
Of never-sated reason's cumbrous load?
Only to know the fixedness of fate
To bear the pain and still apply the goad?
And then, when all tho lease of life is spent,
But be more gray than wise, more feeble than
Why should we reek of days or years or
Why note the mysteries each moment
Why heed tha hoarded wisdom of dead sages?
Why pore o'er histories of fools or kings?
Away with all the past! all ghosts of time
And all the grinning ieletons in prose or
" I'll rest me here. Tho soul mosi yenrrs for
The vacant mind is fetterless and free.
All things that live, save man, live to attest
Unalterable nature's stern decree;
Then blest the boor,who Iive3 and dies serene,
Careless and dull, nor thinks what is, w hat
might have been!"
late, too late! The craft once cast adrift
. Upon the shoreless sea must restless float ;
All points converge and useless every shift
To the blind pilot in each fated boat.
Then spread all sail! catch every wind that
Sail, bravely sail, and sink, aud then who
knows, who knows?
Charles L. Page in Overland.
It is a clothes rub for tha washer
woman on Monday.
It is the dry goods clerk who most
frequently sales under false colors.
Tho whale and the school girl are ths
rrpit aiiircm nf hliiKhpr in this roiintrv.
The man who is slow to express an
opinion might just as well send it by
A show spoken of as "a rare enter
tainment" proved to bo a performance
not well done.
The reason why some people never
grow old is becauso they do all their
growing when they are youn g.
We often see the words "John Boylo
O'Reilly" in the papers, but we never
hear whether John has done it or not.
What is the difference betwoen a tubo
and a foolish Dutchman? One is a hol
low cylinder, and the other is a silly
Lady to tramp: Poor, man, how did
you come this way? Tramp: On foot,
mum. Don't believe them as accuse mo
of tryin' to work sympathy just after
steppin' off a parlor car.
Td like to cuff you. you j'oung ras
cal!" exclaime I an irate man, who had
been a target for tho lad's snowball.
"Yer would, eh ! Well, collar me fust
and cuff mo afterward, old man."
"No, sir!" exclaimed old Mr. Get
there to an agent who had ruthlessly
invaded the sanctity of his private office;
"I won't look at your cyclorrcdia; I
don't want it; I won't have it. My boys
have all got bicycles, and I'm not going
to buy anything new for them to break
their yv-ing necks off of!"
Aii Old Joke Run Down.
Everybody has heard the story of two
duellists, one a big burly fellow, tho
other a small slender one, and the sug
gestion of the latter that his size bo
chalked out on his antagonist, and that
the shots outside these marks be not
counted a remark variously ascribed
to celebrated people, and most common
ly perhaps to John Randolph, on tho
occasion of his duel with Henry Clay in
1820. The original story comes to tho
surface now in the first volume of "The
Eirly Life of Samuel Roger," jugt
published. It occurs in his diary of a
trip through Wales in 1800, where he
records it as happening at Swansea
between two farmers a fcwvecks beforo
his visit Charleston News and
A Moonless Month.
The month of February, 18U, was in
one respect the most remarkable in tho
world's history. It had no full moon.
January had two full moons, and so had
March, but February had none. Do
you realizj what a rare thing in nature
that was? It had not occurred since
the time of Washington, nor since tho
discovery of Americi, nor since tho b
ginning of the Christian era, nor the
creation of the world. And it will not
occur again, according to the computa
tion of astronomers, for how long do
you think? 2, 500, 000 years. Was not
that truly a wonderful month? Golden
The occasional contributor dropped
into the sanctum wearily. Seated at the
desk was a beetle-browed tramp printer.
"Are you the mule editor?" softly in
quired the visiting contributor.
"Nay," answered the apparition,
poising a proof slip in his delicately dis
colored digits. "I am tin calf editor.
Do you wish to be edited?" Washing