THE REPORTER AND POST.
VOLUME XI.
Reporter and Poet.
PtBLItBBB WKftKLT AT
DANBURY, N. O.
rCPPER k SONS, P*At. tcPropt
Cae tear. paoable lb »*»«•«•,....8US
•ll Moatke + ..'. ; Tl
■ATM »r i»TMTliliei
«*• itan Unas or Iw) 1 Mm,......81 00
aaek additional ItiMrttvn 90
CtntrMll for logger tine or mure apace tu bo
mode la proportion tu the atiove rated.
Tranaleat advertiser, will We expected tu remit
aeeordlat «e tbeae ratee at tko time ther eead
UMI he ch »rgo4 fiO per cent, higher
then shore rete«.
• ««IQMK Card* will he luutelfttTe> Italian
per tnMB. *j|
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
ROBERT D. GIIMEFT
Attorney and Counsellor,
MT. AIRY, N^C.
Fraciic«e in the court# «f Surry, Stokes,
Yadkin and Alleghany.
~w. fTCARTER,
JtTTQ*J*EY-.*T-l,# r.
MT. AIKY, St'KRY CO., N. C
Practices whereve. hiaserrioea ire wanted.
RTL. HA YMORE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Mt. Airy. N. C.
Special attaollou given tu tha collection ol
claims. I—r.'m
H. M. MARTI.VDALE,
WITH
WM. J. C. DXJLAIfY $ CO.,
STATION EUK AS!) ROOKS KLLF.RB
WAREHOUSE.
liuokt a Spertalty. _/;j)
Rlationery of all kinds. Wrapping itaper,
Tw I nee. Bonnet Boards, Pejier Blind*.
«*• BALTIMORE ST.. II AT.TFM tiK E, *1)
J.V. HARRISON,
WITH
A.L. ELLET fcCO.,
DRY QOODS * NOTIONS
10, 12 A 14 Twelfth StreC,
A. L. KI.LBTT, \
A.JIMCII Wirini, f
iJUchm'dJTt
15 F. KINO,
WITH
" "JOHXSOX SUITOXf CO.,
DRY GOODS,
Woe. *1 aad » South Skarp, Street,
T. w. JOBVHON, E. M. ICTCOIT
J. M. >. QRAIHIR, O. J. JOUNBON.
«. r. BAT, ALBIRT JONES.
3P*y 9k Jonas,
manufacturers ot
BAI*PI.EBT,H AKKESK, COLI.A MA.TBI'KBB
No. M W Baltimore street, ilaltleinro, AM.
W. A. Taeker, U. C. Smith, B.V Xpraiflltt
Tttoker, Smith A Co..
Maesraetarhn * wholesale l>salers la
MttOTK, fiHOIHATH ASD CAPS.
MS BalUsuoie Btreal, Baltimore, JM.
ELK ART, WITZ $ CO.',
Importer* * wholesals dealers la
MTtORI, WIIIIRT,QI.OVH, WHITKAXD
FAJTCT QUOD*.
ye. * Ha»eeec street, Baltimore. Mi
M. J. • JT. X. BEST,
WITW
Jlenry Soniieborn Sr Co.,
WHOLESALE CLOTHIERS.
* Aaaorrer It., (VMwaeaUe rata* * Lorn hard lis)
BALTIMORE MP.
a. SOBBEBOBH, B. BUHUNE.
••J'ATKIBi, W. S. BOBERTROM
O. L. rOTTBi.Lt., A. »• WATKIXa.
Wat kins. CottreU * Co..
Importers aad Jeh hoes ef
HARDWARE.
1107 Main Street,
MICHMOMD, VA.
AmM fee Fairbanks Itaadard Sealee, aad
As fee Brae* BelUw* cloth.
SUfAtn PuJwey, L. U Blair
W. U. MILES,
wire
STEPHEN P UTXE Yf CO.,
VieM« dee/era n
Boots, Shoes, and Trunks,
lttf Maui Street,
e*pt MI4B. RICHMOND, VA.
W*. BBTKIM. WM. B. PEVRIEH,
CIBTBTH MTKN, IOI.OVOM RIJRJREL,
WM. DM YMIES * CO.*
Fsi porters aad MWss ot
reaciod AM* OOMCCTIO DRY
•0008 AMD NOTION*.
>ll Weo Maittmmrt Strtrt, beivten Howard
am.d Lrtert», BALTIMORE.
EtiMwti IW4.
S. T. DAVIS
WITH
T. J MAGRULEIt and CO
Msaals4ljsa ajsd Jisslsis la
ROOT*, SOOEt A.>ll) RROGAXS, Ac.
Me. tl Sharp Street, Baltimore, Md.
J. t. YATKS of K. C.
with
Majpts, Anderson $ Bard,
Wholesale Grocers,
*•. *• Wcet PraU and M 8. Uoward St.,
- BALTIMORB »i>.
Lexo aoa.
I am sitting in the twilight,
Thinking of th* "Long Ago;"
And sweetest thoughts of by-gone days
Steal o'er me, as In days of yore.
I am sitting In the twilight
Thinking of happy days gone by;
Of my bright and happy childhood
That lias now forever flown.
1 ana thinking of friends
Who are now sleeping in the tomb;
Thinking of Irved ones far away
In distant lands they roam.
But, alaa! those days have vanished,
And bright visions all have flown;
And the dear friends of my childhood
All, all have gone. *
Haw (• Slake a Mam Mad.
There never have b»ea more than
three men who have cared a snap what
the papers said about them. We recall
to mind a New Hampshire faan who said
he hadn't the least interest in any thing
of the sort. And when he heard that a
certain weekly had spoken of him as a
prominent citisen, he drove seventeen
utiles in a pouring rain and over a mud
dy road to get a copy of that paper, be
cause be wanted to see the market re
ports in it. We have had that little
transaction in mind for some time, and
it suggested to us a racket which
we have worked with great success.
Wc select as a victim some man, ambi
tious of fame, but who never has bad the
privilege of gating upon bis name in
print more than two or three times in bis
life.
Wo go to him and say : "Did you
sec that item about you the other day ?
•Great skid, wasn't it?"
Immediately his face lights up. He
is all interest. There is an eager look
in bis eye. "No," he tays, "I didn't
see i(! Didn't know of it! When vras
it I What paper was it in ! What did
it say •"
And we reply: "Ob 1 hold on!
One question at a time."
"Well, what paper was it in ?" he
asks.
He is breathlessly eager for an an
swer. The reply,deliberately : "What
paper ? Well, we don't exactly remem
ber. Think it was one of the city pa
pers, but wouldn't be certain. I'ossibly
•it wat a Western exchange."
He looks gloomy, but hope springs
eternal in the human breast. "You
think it was in a city paper." he asks.
"Yes."
"How long ago did it appear 1"
"Don't know exaetiy. Saw it only
wo or three days agu, but it ftiigbt have
been aa old paper."
'•Well, what did it say t" he asks ia
desperation.
"Oh, it was a very pleasant little
item."
"Yes, but what did it say 1"
"Oh, we don't remember. Just re
momber seeing it."
"Why did'nt you save it for me I"
"Why, thought of course you'd see
it."
"Well, I'll go aud look over the filek
of the city papers and see if 1 can find
it."
"Dear boy," wo say, "you'll find it
much easier to find a ueedle in a bottle
of hay. Thiuk of the interminable task
of examining the files of seven or eight
dailies for a month back."
The utter hopelesness of hit ever see
ing that paragraph duwns upon him.
His face assumes a look of abject misery,
despair, and baffled curiosity. When
we meet him three days lator hr is just
getting over the feeling of gloom, and
settling down to solid hatred of us for
not saving the item fur him.
Klaslns Dagt.
We fear the article we published in
regard to girls who kiss dogs baa been
taken wrong by some. We have a del
icate scented note—not scented like dog,
however—from a Chicago girl, who is
indignant. She had rather kiss a dog
any time than a man. That is all right.
It ia only a matter of taste. If the uian
the refers to smells like a dog and has
fleas and hia oyst run, and ha licks him
self instead of washing we don't blame
liar. Of course she knows aiore about
kilo than we do. But if a nice clean
maa should come Iter way, a man with
the modern improvement, who ceuld
kias back, which a dog can't we will bet
she weald drop her dog like a hot pota
tato and freest to the man lile the ivy
to the oak, aad the would forget all
aboot her dog. Try it ooce, Sis, aad
jom will sell your dog to the first butch
er that comes along. —Ptck't Sun.
A physician baa discovered yellow fever
gerait in iee. The safest way is to boil
your iea before using it. This kills the
genus.
DANBURY, N. C„ THURSDAY. AUGUST 31, 1882.
Up teHaaar
A yeang man with a nose like a ra
lor and an eve which would bare raited
a blister oil abeet iron baited a pedes
trian on Gratiot avenue, and stated that
be wa« trying to ratee money to reach
the beeide of bis dying aunt in
Chicago. He was too proud to beg,
bnt if the citisen would give him a quar
ter he would shew him a trick worth fire
dollars.
"Tosh ish dot drick " queried the
the cititon.
"It is to make ten cents go fnrther
than a dollar. Yoa can play it on the
boys, and make ten dollars a day,"
"My frendt, I never blays luit der
boys."
"Y«e,fcat ym eaa hare-feie of fun, you
know."
"1 vhas no bandit for fan. If I ever
git off some shokes I never IsfT."
"Yes, but this is something new.
When yoa come down to the grocery
of an evening you—"
"1 don't come down. I vash home
on der sUtcps all dor eafuings."
'■But you could have a littli fun
with your neighbors "
"I told you 1 vhas not a funny man.
I likes to sclimoke and read der morn
iug papers."
"Well, I don't want to beg, and I'm
offering you the trick very low in order
to get home aud see uiy sister die. Have
you a dying sister ?"
"I doan' expect I have. Vhas iah
dat drick !"
"To make 10 cents go further than
sl."
vill she do it 1"
"She will."
"Uud five cents goes petter ash a
dime ?"
"That's the ratio."
"Und notiug.s at all goes petter ash
iko cents 1"
«•!—I—I thiuk it docs."
"Veil you shunt consider you haf all
der notings afer was und you vbill bo
in Chicago to-aiorrow ! Gif my love to
dot dying sister, und tdll her dot
you saw me well. You'd petter git
souir express waguim to draw dose tucK
els down to der railroad, and you look a
lecdle oadt for Dutclnuans who has peen
eating grass und vhas greeu.
Judge Fowl*
A publication in the Charlotte Obttrv
tr, copying an article from the W instoa
Republican, has been called to uiy at
tention, in which it is stated that I will
in a few days publish a letter withdraw
ing from the Democratic party, and con
taining, further, a report of a conver
sation bad by me with a gentleman from
Winston.
In reply, I have to say that I expect
to voto the entire Democratic ticket,
and no idea has ever entered mind of
doing otherwise, and no intention of
writing any such letter has ever been
entertained by me. I have repeatedly
amce 1880 stated publiely that I did
not intend to enter this canvass, ai.d
that I never expected to go upon tho
stump again unless in case of some pub
lic emergency. Permit me to add,
Mr. Kditor, that there are some gentle
men upon the Democratic tioket who
exerted themselves in my behalf in 1880,
and whilst 1 shall vote for all, 1 feci un
der special obligations to them.
DANIEL G. FOWL*
August 14,1882.
—Pat riot
The fatal shooting affair which took
place at Love's Chapel, in this county,
between Tilly and I'egram, was r*
viewed in chambers by Judge Gilmer,
at Greensboro. From published accounts
it aeemes that Tilly and I'egram were
friends, and were riding in the same
buggy when the shooting took plaoe.
Both had been drinking the day before
and were under the influence of lipuor
when the homicide took place. The
dying declaration of Tilly absolved i'e
grarn from all blame, Dr. Lay, one of
the witnesses, says that be was with Tillv
in his dying hours, and that he ex
pressed the belief that the shooting was
accidental. I'egram was admitted to bail
in the sum of sßoo.— Salem Pott.
The Greensboro North State. Re
publican, referiag to the "Coalition,,
tieket, says: In a country where it is
no uncommon tight to see a horse and
mule hitcbcd up together, a team com
posed of Democrat* and Republicans
will not excite much wonder.
The Greensboro Pot riot says that at
the "Liberal" mass meeting in Coooord
list Saturday it it reported upon the
authority of a truthful man, that 400
people ware present. In this vast
assemblage there were six „ Libera Is,"
100 Republicans, '293 Democrats, and
Joaes.
Msratea Women'! Wnj t
A correspondent of tha New York
World write* from Salt Lake City,
where he waa sent to pietare the pleas
ures and convnience* of polygavy, tbat
a Mormon friend enumerated at his re
quest the following inoaaaliea tbat he
knew of in recent polygamous mar
riages :
A young and very pretty girl in "up
per ten" of Mormonitm married a young
maa of her own class, but stipulated be
fore marriage that he thoald marry a
second wife as soon as he could afford to
do so. Against bia will she ha/ now
kept him to hit promise. a
A young couple were eagageH, but
quarreled, aad the lover out of pique
married another lady. Two years later
his first love, having refused other ofiera
in the meantime, married him as hit
second wife.
A man having married a second wife
to please himself, married a third to
please his first.
A couple about to be mairicd made
an agreement between themselves tbat
the husband's second wife should be one
of the relatives of th* first wife. The
lady who was selected refuted, aud tbe
husband remained true to his promise
for tea years. At the end of this time
his first wife voluntarily chose another
mate for him.
The belle of the settlement, a ("entile,
refused monogamist offers ef marriage,
and married a Mormon, who had two
wives already.
A girl, distracted between her love
for her suitor and her mother, compro
mised in her affections by stipulating
that he should marry both her mother
and herself, which he did.
A girl, a Gentilo, bitterly opposed at
first to polygamy, married a polygamitt
at the solicitation of his firtt wife, her
great friend.
Two girls wcro good friends, and one
of them gcttiug engaged to a man by no
meant of prepossessing appearance, per
suaded h*r friend to get engaged to him
too, arid he married theui both on the
same 'lay. ,
' titlll in Doubt.'
When a grocer in Port Huron, Mich
igan, was said last winter to have expe
rienced religion, tho statement was car
ried to a prouiinet deacon, who inquir
ed :
"Did lie confess to mixing two kinds
of oats aud selling them fot No. 1 ?"
"I think not."
"Say anything about having worked
over old butter every fall for twenty
yean ?"
"Did h* ccnfess he bad bees caught
uaing short weights ?"
"No."
"Wasn't he even sorry for watering
the vinegar
"He didn't say ao.
•'Well it may be that the Iord has
seen fit to spoke bim up a little arouud
the edges, but before you'd better give
him a fair chance to pass a quarter with
a hole in it. If he resists the temptation
1 shall pray th* Lord to continue the
wrestle until Satan get* three straight
falls."
Perfectly Sutlat'actlon.
A farmer's wife buttled into a store
in a town up tbe Hudson a few days
ago, and went for the proprietor with :
"Mr. Davit, I bought tix pounds of
sugar here tbe other day, and whsn I
got horn* I found a store weighing three
pounds in the package."
"Yet, ma'am."
"Can you explain *ueh a swindle
sir?"
"I think I can, ho plaeidly replied.
"When I weighed your eight poundx of
batter the other day, I found the three
pound stone in the orock, and whon I
weighed your sugar tha (tone mutt havo
slipped into tho scales ; we are both
wrowing old, Mrs. Jones, and I presume
our eyesight has become more or locs
affected."
Sh* looked at him for half a minute
ov*r her baaa-boond spectacles, aud
then said she had three dozen eggs
which she wanted to exchange fur some
hooks and *ye* and red shirt buttons.—
Wall Street Reporter.
Resolved, That the Bourbon leadert
of the Democratic party are rcspon
siblc for th* panaaga of the prohibitum
bill and tbe agitation resulting there
from Republican Coalition Platform.
Prohibition was not and is not a pol
itical or party question. I regard it as
ret adjudicata.—Folk, Rspublictn-Coa
lit ton Candidate for Judge.
It it more carelessness about th* truth
than intentional lying that there is to
much falsehood in the world.
Hal to live, not lira to eat.
•'He Sot Right Dur."
"Yes, tab. Kernel Bonao Smith
am dead—dead as a herrin,' sah. He
died in his cheer, an' I was de fust pus
son who knowed it."
"Quitt an old man, wasn't he 1"
"Yes, sah. He didn't know nuffin'
'bout bis age, but 1 reckon he war' pur
ty clus up to 90. De ole man had got
so feeble dat dcy had to cut his meat an'
mash his'taters fur him. He had been
lookin' fur de summons fur a long time,
au' yit when dc gates ob lleahcn opened
an' de music came floatin' out it was
hard to realize dat de Kurnel had jined
de purceshun."
"And you found him V
"J ist me, sab, an'no one else. You
tec, he hbed wid his darter, au she gin
bim de warmest oo'ner to sit in, an' de
best window to look out of. I pass dat
same winder three or four times a day,
an' de Kurnel alius gin mo a nod.
When I went by dar yesterday de ole
man sot in his place, and dar was a
smila on his face. 1 went in to shake
hands wid him. He war' all alone.
At I walked in I called out kinder cheery
like:
"Wall, Kurnel, how goes do battle to
day ?" but he didn't answer.
"Deed,sah, his battle war' ended fo'
de Lawd, but he sot right dar wid a
smile on his fuce au' died as softly as dc
sun goes down."
"And he was smiling?"
"Smilin' like a pleased chile, sah.
Death had come to him like a sweet
drcaiu. When he heard dc gates ob
Ileabcn open perhaps he wur a leetle
afraid, but when dc angels marched out
an' played soft and low an' sweet on
deir harps it brought peace to his heart
an' a smile to his face, an' when de gold
en gates closed again de Kurnel war on
do fur side."— Detroit Free Press.
Tlic lluppy I'ast.
A seedy-looking fellow dropped into
the city editor's room room and failing
to borrow a half-dollar lie bogged to
narrato hit experience.
"I used to bx an ufflcoi of Ptato, I tSW.
1 was sheriff, and member of the Legis
lature, and constable, and clerk of the
courts, and judge, and a candidate time
I and again, and had a high old frolic, 1
did."
"I don't believe it," said the city »d
--itor.
"Why don't you ?"
"Because I have a letter hero which
says you arc a thief and a liar, and a
scoundrel aud a villian, and a tradncer
and a perjurer, and a defaulter and a
plotter, and a low-down brawler and a
lover of all that ia vile and wicked and
dishonest and abhorrent to deoent peo
ple, and a—"
"Aha! ttranger, go on and read that
all over again, and read it loud. It
sounds liko old times. It brings lxsek
| the days when 1 ran for office. It rrads
like ac editorial in the opposition paper,
and brings again to my memory that
blessed period when I folt like I wa»
somebody and life was worth livsog.
I Oh, glorious hours of my past, will ye
ever come back to me'" and tbe tears
j rolled down hit cheeks as the city editor
! pronounced again tho magic words anal
j then gave him a quarter to sober op
• on.
AH our railroads increase in length,
the rails follow their example. As one
time the rails in general use were only
Kixtcon l'eot long, then thirty-two feet
beeanie tbe standard, sixty feet rails
have been in use for a long time, and
a new mill in Chicago is prepared to turn
out rails one hundred and twonty feet
in length. The advantages claimed for
the longer rails are that tliey present
fewer joints to be battered dawn by tbe
wheels, and to react upon the lattor. Tho
rails are alto made much heavier per
foot now than they used to be to
with-itand the heavier rolling stock now
employed.
Col Perry Yarger wat complaining
confidentially to IJostetter MeGionis of
the frequency with whieh bit mother-in
law paid bim vititi—that the came four
or five times a year.
"My wife's mother," responded Mc-
Ginnit, "his visited me only once in the
last five or tix yean. The lait time
she came to tee me was when I wat
first married, five years ago."
"Luoky man! When ia tbe going
to visit you again ?
"How can 1 tell! She has not got
through with her first visit yet—but I
can't see where the luck comet in.''
"I am too old a soldier to fear aa
enemy lead by deserters." Atj red M.
Scales, August, 9 188*2.
Democratic Platform. 1
We congratulate tbe people of North
Carolina on the ora of peace, prosperity
and good government which has been
unbroken since the incoming of a Dem
ocratic State administration ; apon tbe
pure and impartial administration of jus
tice and the honest enforcement of tha
laws ; upon the efficieucy of our common j
school system aud great advance made '
in education, aud the general improve
ment and enterprise manifested in every
part of the State, and wo plodge our
selves to exert all efforts to advance the
material interests of all sections of the
State in the future as we have done in tbe
Arc* we challenge n comparison
between a Democratic .viwinistmtioss of
our State affairs and the crimes, out*
rages and scandals that accompanied
Republican misrule. Affirming our ad- |
bercnee to Democratic principles as dc- 1
fined in the platform adopted by the
National Democratic Convention, held
at Cincinnati in 1880 :
Resolved, That wc regard a free and ;
fair expression of the public will at tbe :
ballot-box as the only sure means of pro- !
serving our free American institutions, j
and wc denounce tbe Republican party ;
aud tbe interference of its federal officials J
for their gross frauds upon the elective j
franchise, whereby whole districts,
States aud the Union have been deprived j
of tbeir just political rights and we be
lieve the corrupt aud corrupting use of !
federal patronage, and of jrublic money 1
drawn by taxation from the people, in I
influencing and controlmg elections, to
be dangerous to tbe liberties of the
State and the Union.
Resolved, That we are in favor of tho
entire and immediate abolition of the in
temal rcvenuo system, with its attend
ant corruptions, and that wc dcnouncu
the presunt tariff laws as grossly unequal,
unjust and vicious. IVe favor such a
revision of the tariff as will produce a
revenue safficieucc for the economical
support of the government, with such
lucidental protection as will give to do
mestic manufactures a fair competition
.estfri tfc&oe* nf feecsgn prmturtiua. TWwt
thero should be an immediate repeal of
all laws imposing a direct tax for the
support of tho government of tho Unit
ed States, but if it shoald prove imprac
ticable to abolish the internal revenue
system with all its attending demoraliz
ation, fraud and corruption, then wc
urge wpon our Senators and Represen
tatives in Congress the importance of so
amending the law that the rcvenuo offi
cers who t»w receive in salaries in North
Carolina alone more titan $500,000
shall be elected by the people of tbe
localities to which they are assigned.
Resulted, That tbe course of the Dem
ocratic yarty siuce its accession to pow
er in North Carolina in furtherance of
popular education it a sufficient guaran
ty that wc earnestly favor the
of all classes of our people, and
will advocate any legislation looking to
oil increase of the fund for that purpose
that will not materially increase the
present burdens of our people.
Resolved, That the question of pro
hibition ia u*.t now, and never has been,
a party question in North Carolina, and
Min keea cuAors«d by the Democratic
party, aad tlic peopla ef the State at
the general election, in tho year 13&1,
having by an overwhelming majority vot
ed against prohibition, aud tho Surpremo
Court having decided thnt the prohibi
tion act is not and never has been a law,
wc regard the matter as finally settled,
and any attempt to renew the agitation
is merely a weak effort of designing per
sons to divert the minds of the people
from the dangerous principles and cor
rupt practices of the Republican par-
Resolved, That whilo wc aro not wed
ded to any particular form of county
government, wc recognize the faol that
a large part of tho taxes of the State are
paid for tbe common benefit by the
white people of our eastern counties, and
that we consider it the bouuden duty
of the white mon of the State to protect
these people from tbe oppressive domiu
atian of ignorant blacks, and pledge
ourselves to such legislation at will se
cure this end.
And whereas it it seriously ltujjgcsted
that a vigorous effort will soon be made
to compel tho State, by judicial proceed- 1
ings, to pay the fraudulent and unlawful
special tax bonds, amounting to $22,-
000,000, issued under legislation passed
by the Republican Legislature in 1868
and 1867 ; therefore,
Rttolpnd,furlA*r, That the Democrat
ic party will resist such recovery and
the payment of such bonds by every i
lawful moans.
NO. 12
SMALL BITES.
In charity it may be batter to give
than receive ; but in kissing it ia about
equal.
A ship ip always ealled ' she,"
thougb we havo often heard of mail
steamers.
Hanging is capital punishment,
especially when you are hanging on some
good-looking girl,s afui,
A reverend gentleman ia lecturing on
"Wine, Water, Women, Wit, Wisdom,"
and it's enough to 'W up with laughter
"Well, I'll be bound," a« the man
remarked when he heard quoted tho
lines, "Chains of gold are fetter* still."
I
It does aggravate a man to think that
while his wife isn't afraid to taakle hiut
and nearly yank his head off, she t« batl
| ly terrorized by a cow that can chase her
| out of the yard at any time.
It is estimated by the census of 1880*
! that there is au average of five and A
j quarter persons to each family. An e»»
; change unfeelingly addi: "In many of
j them the husband is the quarter."
The reporter of a Doeton paper went
'to see the panorama of "Hunyan's Pil
grim's Progress." The man at the door
refused to admit him without paying,
| and the reporter said: "Send Mr.
I liuoyan out here ; he will let me in."
I
"A Newspaper under the vest makes
n capital chest protector." Care should
, be taken, however, to select a paper on
which there is nothing due. Daw create*
dampness, anb the wearer might oatoh
co'd therefrom.
A Gentleman somewhat advanced
in life, and who never was remarkable
for good looks, asked his grandchild
what he thought of him. The boy's par
ents were present. The youngster mado
no reply. "Well, why don't you tell
me what you think of me 1" "Causa I
don't want to get licked."
ilow much the South has lost by not
raising her own provisions and living at
Wy the Mttmte mil
that. We have paid this Season to the
North $55,000,000 for wheat, $50,-r
000,000 for corn, $72,000,000 for
menu and about $25,000,000 for bay, .
butter, cheese, oats, apples, potatoes, etc • ■
The old man sighed as be took the -
en haired, laughing boy apon his knocs k >.
and stroking his shining tresses, ;aid.i
"Ah! how much I should like to fee;/
like a child again." Little Johny ceas
ed his laughter, and looking soberly up
into his grandfather's faco remancfedv.
"Then jhy don't you get mamma-t*.
spank yon »
Mose Scliaoniburg advertised t!fct
he wonld be glad to see aU his old cus
tomers iu his new store oa Aaetin
Avenue. The oonsoqucnce of tbc care
less worded advertisement is, that not
s.ngle (or marriod) lady has called in
to buy anything yet. Even those who
arc upwurds of seventy-flvo refuse to
trade at his store. There is reason to
fear there will be a felting off in Nose'a
cash butane© this year—
A Lady who was fjepawg bathing
suits for a trip Kast for the Summer
i wrote to an oastorn fashion paper to.
know what style of bathing svkits wouldl
be for ohildren, say from five to six year*
old. She received a reply that this year
the bathing suits for boys wore very sim
ple, consisting of a wad of ootton in each
oar. The lady will add to this suit a
ltd yarn string around Uer boy's ucck
and let him go lorao,
"How is the soil of Konsai ?' asked
one of the group, as the traveler paused,
"lliohost in the world, sir," was the re
ply. "I know a Now York statesman who
went to Kansas 7 yeara ago, with only
sls in oash, and be is now worth $20,-
000." "Whew? What did ho raise
principally »" "1 believe it was a oheok,
sir; but they oouldo't exactly prove it
on him. Think of a toil that will raise
a bank-cheok for $l9O to $19,000, and
in a backward season at that!"
A woman of 8 took ton Cal., believ
ing that she was about to die, confessed
to her husband that the did not love
him, but bad oentered her affections on a
neighbor. She deolared that she
i could not die unforgtven and so the
husband freely forgave her. liut he
granted the favor only in view ef b«r
speedy death, and, whon she unexpect
edly reoovered, he began a snit for dt.
vorce. He.r defense is that be condon
ed her fault by the forgiveness, and %
peculiar question of law ii raised— Jf.
Y. Herald.
n*r M tV'TT*".!-