THE REPORTER AND POST.
VOLUME XII.
Reporter and Post.
PVBLUIIED WBBKLT AT
DANBURY. N. C.
PJCPPEII k SONS, Pubs. * Pmpi t
BiTBII OP 81.-lftMt-KIPTIOX |
QN TIM, paoable in advance, TL.SO
9U lientiis „ ™
Bl'l'KM Or AI>TKRTHI?I4it
Oat Square (ton lines or leas) 1 time. fl *>
Fer eaeb additional insertion, SO
CMtncU fur longer lime or wore space can bo
ma«U In proportion to tbo abort rate*.
Trausleat advertiser* will be expected to remit
••cording to these rata* at Ui« time Ike* send
their far or*.
Ivoaai Helices will ba ekarged fl 9 per cant. higher
tk*a above rates.
•uiMW CanU will kl IkMrM U T«B Dollar.
I ' Jll" li
PROFESSIONAL C.IRUS.
A. J. »oTI>, J. W. REID
JlO YD 4- RE ID,
Attornoys-at-Law
WE.NTWORTH, N. C.
Praetice in the Superior court of
Stokea county.
~ROBERT D. GILMER,
Attorney and Counsellor,
MT. AIRY, n. c.
Practices in the courts of Surry, Stokes,
Yadkin and Alleghany.
If. F. CARTEIi,
&rTQ%t.YEr'.HT-l.ii r.
MT. ALU V, SL'KKY CO., N. C
Practices whereve.'his services are wanted.
U. L. HA YMORJE,
ATTORN EY-AT LAW
Mt. Airy. N. C-
Special.attention given to tiio collection of
claims. I—l2m
H. M. MAUTINDALE,
WITH
IYM. J. C. DULAXY $ CO.,
STATIONERS AHU BOOKSELLER*
ft' ARKIIO I'SK.
tor* School Hook* a Specialty.
.Stationerr of all kinds. Wrapping paper,
r wines, Bonnet Boards, I'tper Bliuds.
183 W. KAI.TIMOKE ST., UAI/TiMOKE, A/D
~ J. 8. IIA Kill SON,
WITH
A. L. ELLET&CO.,
DRY QOODS fc NOTIONS
10, 12 k 14 Twelfth Stroe'.,
A- L. Ifrl LSTT, )
A. Jaosoa WATKIMS, r
i'r.lV.VJ 1 iHichm'a, 7a
B. F. KING,
WITH
JOHXSO.X, SUTTOjV $• CO.,
DItY GOODS,
Hoe. *7 awIN South Sharp, Street,
r. W. JOIFBON, B. M. S TUON
J. B. B. OBABBE, O. J. JOHNSON.
F. DAT, ALBERT JONES.
Say & Joaes,
manufacturers ot
BADBLERT,HARNESS, COLLABS.TKUNR
Ne. US W. Baltimore ■treat, Baltimore, Jfd.
W. A.Teeker, 11.0. Smith. U Sprsg;la«
Tuoker, Smith k Co..
Maaa/aeterhrs ft wholesale Deaiera ta
MOO7S, AHOUS, HATS ASD CAPS.
JU *SO Haiti mere Street, Baltimore, AM.
J?. J. * i*. X. lIEST,
WITH
Henry Sonnebom s' Co.,
WHOLESALE CLOTHIERS.
M Aaaoyer *t., (botwcontieriuan Jfc Lombard Sta)
11ALTIMOHE Jib,
11. •ONNCBORN, B. BUM LINE
C. WATKINfI, W. 8. ROBERTSON
O. L. •OTTHBLL, A.«. WATKU'S.
Watkins, Cottrell & Co.,
JUn pur tors and Jobbers of
HARDWARE.
1807 Main Street,
RICHMOND, VA.
Ageate for Fairbanks Standard Scales, an
Aaker Brand Beltiag Cloth.
tHtyhtn Puin&y, L. H Blair
W. 11. UILKK,
WITH
STEPHEN T UTXE I\j- CO.,
XTko/esa/c rfea/er* in
Boots, S 9wm. and Trunks,
121 V M*tn Street,
tft. S-81-s*. MICnUONIt, VA.
J. a. ABBOTT, or w 0.,
with
VllfSO, ELLETT k CRt.W,
RICHMOND, VA.,
Wboleule Deslert ia
BOOTS, BHOSS, TBUNKS, &C.
Prompt alUatios paid to order*, and utlf
tacli.B (Rurantted.
Vufimim StdU Prifn Qoodt m tpttuUy
Marak, (. m
aaaaar w. mm. aeaia u. TAYLO .
R W POWBRB k CO.,
WHOLESALE DRUGGISTS,
Daalera in
PAINTS, OILS, DVES. VARNISIIKS,
 French and American
WIRDOW GLAMS, PUTTY, 40
SSOKINQ AND CUBWINU
SISAStI, TOUACCU A SI'KCIALTI.
ISO* Main St., Biohmond, V*.
>iM MM
DEMOCRATIC ORGANIZATION
Pl.ißOfOrKnuiMtluii IN ilio I>«>iiioernti*
I'arty or sfort-i i nrolluii.
The Ceilral Cammittee publiah the
following plan of organization of the
Democratic party compiled from tbe
rules and amendments heretofore adop
ted by the State Democratic Kxcoutivc
committee.
TOWNSHIP ORGANIZATION.
1. The unit of county organization
ahall be the township. In each township
there shall be all executive committee
to eontist of if* active Democrats, who
shall be elected by the Itaoworatlu vo
ters of the several townships in meetings
called by the county executive commit
tee. And said committee so elected
shall elect one of its members as chair
man, who shall preside at all said com
mittee nioetings.
2. The several township executive
committees shall convene at the meet
ings of the several county conventions,
or at any time and place that a majority
of them may elect, aud shall elect a
county executive committee, to consist
of not less than five members, one of
whom shall be designated as chairman
who shall preside at all of said commit
tee meetings.
3. In case there shall bo a failure on
the part of any township to elect its ex
ecutive committee for the period of thir
ty dajs, the county executive committee
shall appoint said committee from the
Democratic voters of said township.
4. The members of the township com
mit t«es shall eloct to any vacancy occur
ing in said committees.
6. The county executive committee
shall call all necessary county conven
tions by giving at least ten days notice
by public advertisement in three public
places in each township, at tho court
house door, and in any Democratic news
paper that may be published in said
county, requesting all Democrats of tho
county to meet iu convention in their
respective townships, on a common day
therein stated, which said day shall not
be less than three days before the meet
ing of the oonaty convention, for the
purpose of electing their delegates to
the county conventions. That there
upon the conventions so he!d shall eloct
the delegates to rcproscnt the townships
in the couutv conventions from tho vo
ters of the respective townships, which
delegates, or such of them as shall at
tend, shall vote the full Democratic
strengtn of their respective townships
on all questions that may come before
tbe said county conventions. That in
case no eonventiou stall be held in any
township in pursuance of said call, or
no election shall be made, the town
ship executive shall appoint such delc
gau«.
0. Each township shall be entitled to
cast in the county convention one vote
for every twenty-five Democratic votes,
and one vote for fractious of fifteen Dem
ocratic votes cast by that township at
the last preceding gubernatorial cleetiou:
Provided, that every township shall bo
entitled to cast at least one vote, and
each township may send as many dele
gates as it may see fit.
7. That in cases where townships con
sist ot more than one ward or precinct,
each of said wards shall be entitled to
send delegates to county conventions,
and shall cast its proportionate part of
iti township's vote, based upon the last
preceding vote for Governor in said
township.
8 That for the purpose o fully inau
gurating this system, the present county
executive committees shall continuo in
office until their successors aro elected
under this system, and shall exercise all
the functions pertaining to said office
under this system of organization.
9. The chairmin of towgship commit
to** shall prosidc at all towuship con
ventions ; in their absence any other
member of said committee may pro
side.
10. In esses wbero all the townsnip
executive committees are requited to
meet for tbe purpose of electing county
executive committees, said meetings
shall be deemed to bavo a quorum wheu
a majority of such townships shall be
represented in said meeting.
COKNTV AND DISTRICT CONVENTIONS.
1. The scvoral oounty conventions
•ball bo entitled to elect to their sena
torial, judical and congressional con
ventions one delogate and one alternate
lor fifty Democratic rotes, and oue del
egate for fractions over twenty-five
Democratie votes cast at tbe last pre
ceding gubernatoiial election in their
respective counties, and none but dele
gates or alternates so elocted shall be
entitled to «eats in laid conventions :
DANBURY, N. C., THUIiSDAY, MAY 1, 1884.
Provided, that every county shall have
at least one vote in each of said conven
tions.
2. The chairman, »r in hts absence
any member of the county, senatorial,
judicial or congressional committee, shall
call to order their respective conven
tions and hold tho chairmanship thereof
until the convention shall elcot its chair
man.
3. The executive committees of the
senatorial, congressional and judicial dis
tricts, re«pectively, shall, at the call of
their respective chairmen, meet at some
time and jdaoe in their respective dis
tricts, d.tiyntwl in said call. And It I
shall be their duty to appoint the time
and place tor holding conventions in
their respective districts ; and the chair
men of sud respective committees shall
immediately notify tho chairmen of the
diSercul county executive committees
of said appointment and tho said county
executive committees shall forthwith
call conventions of thoir respective coun
ties iu conformity to said notice to send
delegates to said respective district con
ventions.
STATE CONVENTIONS.
1. The State convention shall be com
posed of delegates appointed by the
several county conventions. Each couu
ty shall be entitled to elect one dele
gate and one alternate for every ono
hundred and fifty Democratic votes, and
ono delegate for fractions over seventy,
five Democratic votes cast therein at
tnc last preceding Uubernatorai election
and none but delegates or alternates so
elected shall he entitled to seats in suid
convention ; provided, that every coun
ty shall have at least one vote iu said
convention.
GENERAL RULES.
1. Such delegates (or alternates of j
absent delegates) as may be present at
any Democratic convention, shall be al
lowed to cast the whole vote to which '
their township or county may be cnti- I
tied.
2. In all conventions provided for by
this system, after a vote is cast, there
shall be no cbaugc iu such vote uutil
I the tlual result of the ballot shall be
announced by the chairman of said con
| ven«ion.
3. All Democratic executive commit- 1
tecs shall have the power to Gil any j
vacancy occuring in their respective !
bodies.
4. That the chairmen of tho different
county conventions shall certify the list
of delegates and alternates to tho differ
ent district and State :oiivcntions. And
a certified list of said delegates and al- j
tcruates to the State convention shall
be sent to the secretary of tho State
Central Committee.
Tarring a Rnt
Rata are wonderfully clean animals,
and tlmy dislike tar more, perhaps, than
anything else, for if it once gets on their
jackets, they find it most difficult to re
move it. Now, I had heard it mention
ed that pouring tar dowu at the entrance
of their holes was a good remedy, also
placing broken pieces of glass by their
holes was another remedy. But these
remedies are not effective. The rats
may leave their old holes and mako fresh
oties in other parts of tho house ; don't
however, leave the premises for good.
1 thought I would try another experi
ment, one I had not heard of before.
Ono evening 1 set a large wire cage rat
trap, attaching iusidc a most seductive
piece of strongly smelling cheese, and
next morning 1 found, to my satisfaction,
that I hnd succeeded iu trapping a very
large rat, one of the largest I had ever
seen, which, after I had bcsmcaied him
with tar, I let loose into his favorite
run. The next night I tried again, and
succeeded in catching another equally
big fellow, and served him iu tbe same
maimer. I could not follow theso two
tar-besmcarcd rats into their numerous
runs to see what would happen ; but it
is reasonable to assume thai they either
summoned together all th« members of
their community, and by their crest fal
len appearance gave their comrades si
lout indications of the misfortune which
had so suddenly befallen them j or that
they frightened their brothrcn away, for
they one and all forsook the place and
fled. Tho experiment was eminently
successful. From that day in 1875 till
now, 1883, my house, aneient though it
is, has boon entirely free from rats, and
I believe that there is no reuiody equal
to this one, if you can catch your rat
alive. They never came back to tbo
house sgaiu.— Chambtri Journal.
A fashion magazine asks : "What
will the coming woman wear That
depends largely upon what income the
coming man makes.
A Race for a Kiss.
A butter-pedlcr f|om Ilonkey lake
rcl ttcs with »reat glee, bow a neighbor
of his was cured of too frequent tipping
the gin bottle This neighbor Jiarried
a young, handsome and spirited lady,
ami for a month or two all went well in
the house and about the farm : then the
husband fell back into his old nicks.
Tho wife demonstrated, and, for a lime
thu husband reformed. Presently, how
ever she becumo satisfied that the "bot-
tie-tipping" was going on again. When
she spoke to her hy-liaj 1 about the
n.altorliii swore tliatY.ic "'aroma'' sho
detected was tl-at of a colic incdieino lie
was taking, lie having developed a most
intractable colic, for the relief ot which
lie had brought home and paraded a bot
tle of medicine.
The wife was confident that there was
kept somewhere about the premises a
a considerable store of a very different
kind of medicine. Sho kept her own
counsel, and, at tho same time strict
watch, iu a day or two she discovered
under a manger in tho barn the socrct
board. She said nothing of the diicov
ery to her husband.
Sooti after, the husband had business
at a neighbor's some two uiiles away.
Oil his return lie was somewhat surpris
ed at seeing a note pinucd upon lii front
door, lie hastily advanced and r«ad as
follows
IJK.N : You will find the key of the
house where your colic medicine is. 1
have taken Kitty anil gone homo to my
mother. Father and brother Bob will
come to-uiorrow for the trunk in which
1 have packed my things. NEI.I.IE.
The husband rushed tr. the barn.
At a glance he saw that Kitty, his wife's
uiarc and the saddle were gone. Dar
ting to the inaiiger he hauled out his
corpulent demijohn of jin, and suspen
ded from its neck fouud the key of the
house.
."-'ecuritig tha key, ho sent the demi
john whizzing and crashing against tho
post of tho barn. Bounding forth, he
ruu to and mowHcvl tho lie lind
left standing in front of his hou.se.
Away he dashed. It was ten miles
to the house of his father-in-law, and ho
was determined to overtake his wife bo
fore she could reach it or kill u horse iu
the attempt.
Suid the butter man : "Now, I seed
lien's wife come over the hill, half a
uule south of my house, on her little
mare, Kitty, and begin to perfouu some
queer evolutions. After she had got
over tho brow o' the hill she paced up
and down the road for a time , then she
rid up and looked over the ridge fir a
while. After lookin' a bit she turned
about and rid up uud down the road a
few tures ; then went up to the brow o'
the hill again. So sbo kepi doiu', an'
once oi twicj she got off an' led Kittty
to tho top of the hill.
"1 was puzzled as to whether she was
waitin' far somebody or had lost somo
thing while on her way to her father's
place some four uulcs beyond my house.
1 was just about to walk on that way
when I seed her wheel Kitty round from
the brow o' tha hill and begin to ply her
whip.
"In half a minute she was flying past
my place like a wild woman. 1 stood at
my front gate by the roadside, ready to
holler out at her to know what was up,
but bless me she never looked to'ards
me. Her eyes sccmod sot iu her head,
her face was pale, at every jump sho let
Kitty have tho whip. 1 swar, her ridin'
skirt fattly cracked as she bouuled
past.
"Jist then I heard a trenicnjus clat
ter behind me. Turnin' about 1 seed
Ben a-comiu' over tho pitch of the hill
on his big black horse, like a wild Co
manche. He was ridin' with loose reins
lcanin' awav far'ard, and, diggin' his
big spurs into his horse like he'd rip his
inside* out.
"He passed by, with Lair and coat
tails calia' back in the winds, and nev
er turning his head to right nor left. 1
thought 1 seed murder in bis eye. I tell
you a million thoughts went thro' my
brain iu a second. All the stories I'd
heard about jealous husband* and insaue
husbands, went through my head in a
lump, and I do believe if I'd my gun in
my haud, I'd taken a swing-shot at him
on suspicion.
"I seed Nell l«ok back onee, and then
lay the wnip ou Kitty botter'n ever.
Ben was goiu' like the wind. I knowed
Neil was headed for her father's, and I
scad plain an day that Hen would get
her 'fore she was sate landed.
'* At last he was upon ber. It was
then neck and neck for a time, with Ben
reaching oat for Kitty's bridle. At
last lie got it, »nd the two horses grad
ually slowed up and finally stopped. 1
mounted my gate post all of a tremble,
cxpectiu' to sec souiethin' dreadful hap
pen.
"They stopped in the road talkin' !
nigh into halt an hour ; and then, I seed !
lien lean over and Nell lean ovei till 1
thar two heads come close togotiicr.
"What's the mischief !"j j Said 1 !
kissin' instead of killin'. Well, that sort
o' fracas gets inc.' After the head-bum- \
ping, the pair turned about and caiue
slowly joggin' along back.
"As they passed mo, 1 callod out to i
Ben to know what in the living jingo it
all meant. Ben began to stammer some- f
thin', 'bout half of which never got
his through big beard when Noll sung out
tome: "Only a race for a kiss," and giv
in' Kitty a cue that nude her 'bound ten
feet, she called out to Ben : "Come on.
A race to the top of the hill for another!" '
and away they went
"That was five years ago, and I novcr
knowed the incaniu' of that wild, harum
ride till 'bout thrso months age, when
tho story, 'bout the colic medicine leak
ed out among the wiinnicn folks. For
a good while after the ride, howsoinever j
I remember of th» neighbor men won- j
deriu' what had come over Ben that he
had shut up his gin all of a sudden, and
wouldn't so much as take a glass o'
Oregon jider.
"To this day, Ben no doubt thinks
lie had a desperate chase after Nell, and
a narrcr escape of her get tin' into the
hitne den 'long with her big brother,
her father aud his mathor-in-law ; and
I've never said a word to him 'bout haw
she fooled 'long under tho brow o' the
hill."
A MEW I'KI IT DRYER
3ITT. EDlTOß: —'lobacco is the first
and greatest money crop of this section
and dried fruit is generally believed to
be second is becoiuiug larger and larger
every year. As with tobacco, so with
fruit, the brighter it is cured the more
it is worth; therefore 1 have a new
fruit dryer, for which 1 have just ob
tained Letters l'atont, which 1 wish to
introduce to the public. It is simple
and cheap, easy to operate, and has no
equal for drying bright, lancy fruit.—
Fruit dried with it retains all the sac
charine or sugary matter, and is much
sweeter and richer than when dried by
any other process. For further partic
ulars, address Itiley F. Petrce, Uer
inanton, Stokes county, N. 0. State
and County rights for sale.
TESTIMONIALS
We the undersigned certify that we
are personally acquainted with Biley F.
I'etree, aud belisve him to be perfectly
reliable, and that he would not know
ingly misrepresent anything, and that
we have seen his Patent Solar Portable
Fruit Dryer, and fruit driod with it, and
do not hesitate to i>ay that it was the
nicest and brightest dried fruit we ever
saw.
Wiu. Campbell, merchant and dealer
in dried fruits, Geriuanton, N. C.
T. 11. Main, Geruianton, N. C.
L. A. Bain, IJ.l J . 31., Geruiautou, N C.
E. J. Stycr*, merchant and dealer in
dried fruits, Cicrmauton, N. C.
Dr. J. G. Hynuui, druggist, Ucrman
ton, N. C.
ltob't Murphy, jr., German ton, N. C.
A. J. Martin, farmer, Garuianton,N.
C.
B. I'', Bynuui, farmer, Geriuanton, X.
0.
IJ . 11. 11 ill, M. 1)., Geruianton, N. C.
W. E. Willis, farmer, Geruianton,
N. 0.
Joel F. Hill, Chairman of the Inte
rior Court of .Stoke* county.
•James Hierson, jr., Clerk Superior
court Stukes county.
8. B. Taylor, hotel, Daiibury, N. C.
A. il. Joyce, attorney, Dunbury, N.
0.
Kuftis I. Dal ton, Sheriff Stokes Co.
W. A. Kates, ex-Sheriff Stokes Co.
WHAT MB. TILDBN'N BROTIIEU BAID.
- When General Gordon called on Mr.
Tildeu General I'iero# Young was pres
ent. General Gordon, after listening
to Mr. Tilden's statement about his
phyaieial condition, said :
"Ah, Mr. Tilden, I wish that I could
giro to you a portion of my own physi
cal strength and vigor."
"Yes," said Mr Tilden, mjhis famous
whisper, "that is just what my poor
brother said to me three years ago, and
wo buried hiut on yesterday."
Genim ia a great thing without doubt;
bat if you hare a capacity for hard work
you have so good a substitute for genius
that yo\| can't tell the difference be
tween the two.
lie Got Thar
It va the first day of April, and a
gang of Alabama street merchants had
been having a stack of fun out of a piece
of tin foil, cut and so indented as to
represent a silver dollar. Several per
sons had been sold, and walked away
amid the loud laughs of the jokers
Presently a tall, law-boned country boy
came saunteriug along, and, sceiug the
tin foil, darted down and grabbed it like
grim d«ath. Immediately he saw the
game, and, turning to the imrry crowd,
said: "Gardners, yc got uie ; less all
go an' take a drink." Before ho had
finished the always thirsty crowd bolted
for the nearest saloon, led by the lustic.
Arranging themselves iu front of the
bar, each called for the fanciest of drinks
the countryman asking for cider. After
the liipior had disappeared the rustic
planked dotvn a 5 cent piece, to settle
for his cider, and then walked off, chuck
ling : "(irccny may git left purty of
ten, but lie gits thar 'casionally.' And
out he slid, leaving the funny men to
settle the best they could with the bar
keeper.
Ill* It UN 111 CSS
The other day on an Arkansaw rail- j
way train, an important looking gentle- j
man took a scat beside a quiet mail and i
began a conversation :
"1 am going up to Little Rock," he |
said, "to get x pardon for a convicted
thief I'm not personally acquainted
with the Governor, but he can't afford j
to refuse tnc."
"Is the fellow guilty ?" askod the i
man.
"Of course he is, but that makes no !
diffeiiMicc. His friends have agreed to
give me five hundred dollars if 1 get him j
out, and the thermometer is very low j
when I can't put up a good talk. Where !
aro you traveling!"
"Uoing to Little Rock."
"Do you live there
"Yes."
"Perhaps you might be of som* . -v
--vice to me. What business are you
in V*
"I'm the Governor."— .irknasaw
Traveler.
Grass.
No nation ever advanced to the high
est degree of prosperity that did not ad
vance over a firm grass sod. It is the
glasses of Orange and adjoining conn
tics tlut have given them the rank they
now hold when compared with other
counties of tha Empire State. Orange
county butter long kuowu in the Eas
tern markets, gained its great reputation
from Orange county grass. Fortunes
may be made at small fruits or market
gardening, but the mainstay of these
counties is grass. If the owner is sick
his grass is glowing. If well covcrod
with snow, it may grow all winter. If
harvest wages arc high it can be gath
ered cheaper than any other crop. The
owner of a good grass farm has no rea
son to complain, as ho is far more for
tunate than his grain growing-neigh
bors.
WILII CIIKRRV LKAVM POISONOUS
To () ATTLK.—Cattle are sometimes pois
oned by eating tile wilted leaves of the
wild cherry. The grjeu leaves arc not
poisonous, but the poison seems to de
velop by some clicuiical cliaugc which
takos plane during fie willing. Take
care therefore, uot to cut wild cherry
trees and leave the branches where the
cat'lc can get them, for, strange though
it sucin, 11 my will abandon good grass
to cat thciu. If the cattle arc suspected
of having eaten them mix one piut each
of hog's lard and molasses and warm it
until it will run reality, pour lulo a
long-necked boltle, raise the animal's
head, and, insetting the uoso of the bot
tle in tho corner of the mouth so as to
reach well back on tho tongue, pour it
down. Tho usual dose varies from a
pint to a quart, according to siie of ani
mal and severity of ease, but there is no
danger of an overdose.
It is a had policy to despise small
persons or small things. A single grape
shot settles the destiny of an empire,
and a diamond necklace has contributed
largely to a bloody revolution. The
gabbling of geese saved Home. The ac
cident of the two spectacle-glasses at a
proper form, gave the world the tele
scope. Tho fall of an apple revealed to
Newton toe law which hangs the world
in space, the grandest law of the mater
ial universe.— Southern World.
Fred Douglass has bceu disowned by
one of his editing. This shows that an
Ethiopian can change his kin if Ije wish
es too.
NO. 46
«lULL BITE*
An incorrigible romp of a girl.—
Miss li. Have.
A drcatu of fair woman Kich moa.
A \'ormont man has beon married six
times, and lie's tho citizen tbey always
get to go first in a bear bunt.
Gentlemen find but one use for the
nose. Tbey use it to bang their speo
taeles on. But tho ladies use it as a
sort of bitching post when they tio on
their hats with a pieoo of veiling.
Genius i« a great thing without doubt;
but if you havo a capacity for hard work
you have so good a substitute for gen
ius that you can't tell the difference be
tween the two.
"Oil wlioro have the eld folks gone !"
is the title of a new song. It is pre
sumed that they have gone to bed young
man but there is never aay telling.
Don't risk staying too late.
"Is he honest ?' inquired a banker of
a friend who recommended a mas for
the position of janitor. "Honest ?" ho
echoed ; "well, 1 don't know what yoa
call it ; hut he returned an umbrella
which he borrowed from me yesterday."
The man was engaged as cashier.
In Iceland the nights arc »ix months
long, and whon a young man sits ia tho
parlor for six or seveu weeks with his
g.rl without pupping the question, a»4
then gets up with the remark that it is
growing late and that he will call around
some other evening, the young woman
realizes that matrimony is still a long
ways off.
A seaside hotel keeper overcharged
a traveler for bad accommodation. What
will you do wliou you havo killed the
goose that lays thff golden egg »" asked
the grumbling traveler. "Wait for an
annthcrgoose," said the hard-faced land
lord.
It was at the close of tho wedding
breakfast. One of the guests arose, and
with | aid—«•! to
the health of tho groom. May he see
many days like this." The intention
was good, but tho bride looked as if
something had displeased her.
\\ HAT MADE IIIM SICK. —"I see
you have got the black bottle filled
again ?" remarked Mm. Splattcrby the
other day as Spiatterby was hunting
for the sugar.
"Yes," replied Spiatterby, "a little
something is good to hare about the
house iu ease of sickness."
"I don't think whiskey it a good med
icine," said Mrs. Splattcrby.
"And why isn't it, 1 would like to
know asked Spiatterby, with some de
gree of feeling. "Many of the most
eminent physicians recommend it."
"Well," said Mrs. Spiatterby, with a
most composed cast of countenance, "if
it is a good medicine it don't agree with
your system. I notice thai you are ner
er well while there it a drop of the stuff
in the house.
THE AKKANSAW IIOI.JIAN.— OId man
Sam Kalletou was doubtless one of the
■Dost ardent legislators known to tho
history of Arkansaw. Every bill tutro
duced by a well-dressed man be looked
on with suspicion, aud never failed to
suggest an amendment. Ouc morning,
after a night's carousal, be entered the
legislative ha'l just as the chaplain was
asking divine aid. The old man took a
c'icw of tobacco and listened attentively
until the chaplain closed lus petition
with an effective recitation of the Lord's
I'rayer. "Mr. Speaker," said tho old
man, arising, "I move to strike out the
words "daily bread" and insert "as
much bread as may be found necessary
for twenty daja." We have already
done enough for tbc flood sufferers.' 1
IMI'ROVKD AOBIOULTCUAL Ivrr.i!-
MK.NTS AND MACUINKRY —In our dljr
of progress and advanced ideas, to sue
oced at all you must keep pace with
tho times. To do this, advautagc must
bo taken of the latest and moat iuipnr
ed implements and machinery, it Being
fully demonstrated that the farmer doing
so, gets far ahead of bis neighbor, wha
fails to keep up with the time*. Vim
should therefore provide yourself with
the vory btwt J'lows, Mowor*, Heapera,
Hakes, drain Drills Harrows, Cane
| Mills, Thrcsherq Ac to. Moss Allen
' Si Allen of Winston, N. C. make a ape
j cialty of improved agricultural imple
ments and Maehiimry, and are anxious
to correspondenae with parties con
templating the purchase of anything w
! that line and it will pay yon to get their
I prices before buyingclsettbore.