VOLUME XIII.
Reporter and Post.
PUBLISHED WEEKLY AT
DANBURY. N. C.
PJCPPER & SONS, Pubs. A" Props
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ptr aanua.
x ~ PROFESSIONAL
ROB EFT D. 01LM ER,
Attorney and Counsellor,
MT. AIRY, N. C.
Practice* in the courU of Surry, Stokes,
Tadkiu and Alleithany.
" Tv\ F. CARTER,
sirTOSJvsr'rtT'LM vr.
MT. AlllY, SURUY CO., N. C
Frartie*» wherever hisservlcra or.' wanted
R L. HAYMOItE,
ATTORNEY-AT LAW
Mt Airy- N. C*
Special attention given to the collection of
claims. I—l2m
15. F. KING,
WITH
jonxsox, sunny $ co.,
I>IIY GOODS,
So.. 77 and M South Sharp, Street,
f. W. JOIIEBON, B • BCTfOSI
J. 11. K. ORABBE, J . JOHNSON.
T. DAT, ALBERT JONES.
J3ay Sc J033-eSy
manufacturers oi
SADDI.EBY.HAUNF.SS.COLT.AHS.TKVNK
No. 330 W. Baltimore ntrect, IlaUimoro,
W. A. Tucker, H.O.Smith, U.S. Siiragglu.
Tucker. Smith & Co-
Manufut-turhrs & wholesale Dealers In
noon, i/ior.i, HATS A i>
No. MO llaltlmor. Street, Baltimore, JM.^
It, J. Jt it. >'• VEST,
WITH
Henry Sonni boni V ( 0.,
WHOLESALE CLOTHIERS.
M Aanover St., (betweenUel inan .* lombard StM
BALTIMOHK Ml).
H. SONNEIIORN, "• BUM LINE
w W. 8. ROBERTSON
C. WATIVINS. v«r vTIvINS.
O L. COTTUKLL, „ , U,
Watkins. Cottrell « Co..
Importer, and Jobber. ol
HAli 1> W ARE.
1807 Main Street,
RICHMOND, VA.
Agent, for Fairbanks Standard Scale., au
Anker Brand Bolting Cloth.
Stephen Putney, L ' H BU " r
ll'. U. MILKS,
WITH
STEPHEN PUTXE Y$ CO.
n'holemte dealer* in
Bootß, Shoes, and Trunks,
1219 Main Street,
Sept. R-Sl-ft*. RICHMOND, VA.
J. E. ABBOTT, OF N 0 ,
with
WINGO, ELLETT & CRCMP,
RICHMOND, VA.,
Wholesale Dealers in
BOOTS, SHOES, TRUNKS, 4tC.
Prompt attention paid to orders, and satis
faction gauraoteed.
0B- Virginia Stall Pruon Qootii a ipeaally
March, «. m
(OMIT w. row«a». SOOAR d. TAVLO .
R W. POWERS & CO.,
WHOLESALE DRUGGISTS,
Dealers in
PAIKTS, OILS, DYES, VARNISHES,
French and Americnn
WINDOW GLASS, PUTTY, fcC
BHOKINU AKDCHKWINO
CIOAKS, TOBACCO A SPECIALTY
1306 Hain St., Richmond, Va;
AUFOST6ML6 —
JTL7C.I3IRD,
WITH
W. D. KVLE & Co.,
LEPCLTTFRS AND JOBBER* OF
HARDWARE. Cutlery.
IRON, NAILS and CARRIAGE GOODS
No. 9 Governor Street,
HICHMOSP.VA.
jq-^WHWEffWV cyAKxn /j |
III 111
teriow Acerialn core. N'' l ""'";P" l , vo j ', h ., r .TS
T. HA/L.LI'LNK. SNurren, FA
■ ■MtvulH «u list f«iircr
MlCoosb Syrup. I'mi—good. R"V
■ OwIBUM. Hr
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the following
NOTICES OK THE PRESS :
The REPORTER AND POST is sound iu
policy and politics, and deserves a libe
ral support.— Reidsville Weekly.
The Panbury REPORTER AND POST
begins its thirteenth year. It is a good
paper and deserves to live long aud live
well.— Daily Workman.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
celebiates its twelfth anniversary, anl
with pardonable pndo refers to its suc
cess, which it deserves.—-V ews and Ob
server.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
is twelve years old. It is a good paper
and should be well patronized by the
people of Stokes. It certainly deserves
it.- Salem Press.
For twelve toug years the Danbury
REPORTER AND POST has bceu roughing
it, aud still to ride the waves
of the journalistic sea. W'c hope that
it wi'.l have plain sailing after awhile.
Lexington Dispatch.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
has just passed its 12th anniversary and
under the efficient management of broth
er Duggins cannot fail to increase iu
popularity with the people of Stokes and
adjoining oounties.— Winston Sentinel
The editorials on political topics are
timely and to the point, and the general
make up of every page shows plainly
tho exercise of much care and pains
taking. Loug may it live and flourish
under the presont management.—Moun
tain Voice.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
has entered the thirteenth year of its ex
istence, and we congratulate it u|>on the
prosperity that is mauifestod through its
columns. To us it is more than an ac
quaintance, and'we regard it almost as a
kinsman. — Leaksvilte Gazette.
The Daubury REPORTER AND POST
last week celebrated its twelfth anniver
sary. It is a strong and reliable paper
editorially, it is a good local and gener
al newspaper and iu all respects a credit
to its town and section. It ought to be
well patronized.— Slatesvillr Landmark.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
has just entered its 18th year. We were
one of the crew that launched tho RE
POUTER, and feel a dicp iuterest in its
welfare, and hopo that sho may drift on
wuid with a char sky and a smooth sur
face for as many moro years.— Caswell
A'rws.
Tho Danbuiy REPORTER AND POST
has celebrated its 12th anniversary. The
paper is sound in policy and politics,
and deaerves tho hearty support of the
people of Stokes. It is an excellent
weekly and wo hopo to see it flourish in
the future as nover boforo.— Winston
Leader.
Tho Danbury REPORTER AND POST
cauie out last week with a loug editorial,
entitled, "Our Tweltb Anniversary"
and reviews its past historv in a very
entertaining way. Go on Itro, Pepper
in your good work; you get up one of if
not the best country paper in North
Carolina.— Kernersville A'ews.
That valued exchange, published in
Danbury, N. C., the REPORTER AND
POST, has entered upon its 12th anni
versary. Long may it live to call tho
attention of tho outside world to a coun
ty which is as riob, wo suppose, in min
erals as any in the State of North Car
olina, and to battle for correct pclitioal
measures. — Danville 'limes.
'■>()TIIL\G HI CCEEI LIKi : SUCCESS,"
DANBURY, N. C, THURSDAY, MAY 28, 1885.
A Family Jar.
Betty sighed. Now, why she should have
sighed at tli's j»urt icular moment no one on
earth could tell. And it was /ill the mbre
exasperating because .John had just gener
ously pntfinto her little shapely liand a
brand new ten-dollar hill. And here began
the trouble.
"What's the matter ?" he said, his faee fall
ing at the faint sound and his mouth clap
ping together in what those who k new him
but little called au obstinate pucker. "Now
what is It?"
li»aty, who had Just began to change the
sigh Into a merry little laugh rippling all
over the corners of the red stopped sud
denly, tossed her head, and, with a small
Jerk no way conciliator), scut out the
worda; •'
"You needn't insinuate, John, that I ain
always troublesome.''
"I didn't insinuate—who's talking of in
sinuating cried he, thoroughly incensed
at the very idea, and backing away a few
.4tc}ts, he glared down from a tremendous
height, in extreme irritation. "It is your
self who is forever insinuating and all that,
and then for you to put it on me—it's really
alM>mi nable."
The voice was harsh, ami the eyes that
looked down into hers was not pleasant to
behold.
"And if you think, Jehu Peabody, that
I'll stand and have such things said to me,
you miss your guess—thut's all!'' cried Het
ty, with two big red «|H>ts coming iu her
cheeks, as she tried to draw her little erect
figure to its utmost dimensions. "Forever
insinuating! I guess you wouldn't have
suid that before 1 married you. Oh, now
you can, of course."
"Didn't you say it first, I'd like to know ?"
cried John, iu great excitement, drawing
nearer the small creature he called "wife,"
who was gazing at him with jdaziug eyes of
indignation; "I can't endure everything I"
"And if you bear more than I do," cried
Itetty, wholly beyond control now, "why,
then, I'll give up," and she gave a bitter
little laugh and tossed her head again.
And here they were in the midst of a
quarrel. These two who, but a year before,
had promised to love and protect each other
through life.
"Now," said John, ami he brought his
hand down with such a bang on the table
before him that Betty nearly skipped out of
her little shoes—only she controlled the
start, for she would have died l»efore she
had let John see it, "we w ill have 110 more
of this nouse nse!" 0
His f;ie*s was verv :vih» and the lines
around the mouth so drawn that it would
have gone to any one's heart to have seen
their expression.
"I don't now how you will change it or
help it," said Betty lightly, to hide her dis
may at the turn affairs had taken, and she
pushed back the light, wa\ing hair from her
forehead with a saucy, indifferent gesture.
That hair John always smoothed when he
petted her, tired or disheartened, and called
her "child." Her gesture struck to his heart
as he glanced at her sunny locks, and the
cool, iudlffcrent face underneath, and before
he knew it hi; was saying:
"There is 110 help for it now, I anpiK»se."
"Oh, yes, there is," said Betty, still in
that cool, calm way tliat ought not to have
deceived him. But men know so little of
women's hearts, although they may live
with them for years in closest friendship.—
"You need not try to endure it, John Pea
body, if you don't want to. I'm sure I
don't caie /"
"What do you mean ?"
Her husband grasped her anus and com
pel led the merry brown eyes to look up to
him.
"I can go hack to my mother's," said Bet
ty, provokingly. "She w ants me any day,
and tlien you can live quietly and to suit
yourself, aud it will be better all around."
Instead of bringing out a violent protesta
tion of fond affect ion and remorse, which
she fully expected, John drew himself up,
looked at her fixedly for a long, long mln
ufe, then dropped her arm, and with white
lips said slowly :
"Yes, It may bs better as you say, better
all around. You know best!" aud wus gone
from tlie room before she could recover from
her astonishment enough to utter a sound.
With a wild cry B"tty rushed across the
room, flr*t tossing the ten dollar bill savage
ly as far as she could throw it, and flinging
herself on the comfortable old sofa, broke
into a flood of bitter tears—the first she had
shed during lu;r married fife.
"How could he have done It/ Oh what
have I said? Oh, John, John/"
The bird twittered in his little cage over
in the window among the plants. Betty re
membered like a Hash how John and she
had filled the seed cup that very morning;
how lie had laughed when she tried to put
it in between the bars, and when she couldn't
reach without getting upon a chair lie took
her in his great arms and held her up. Just
like a child, that she might fix it to suit her
self.
Ami the "bits" he had said iu his tender
way, they had gene down to the de|»ths of
her foolish little heart, sending her about
hoi work singing for very gladness of spirit.
And now!
Betty ftuffed her fingers hard into her rose
earn to shut out tlio bird's chirping.
"If he only knew why I sighed," she
moaned. "Oh, my husband! Birth-days
—nothing will make any difference now.—
Oh, why can't I die ?"
How long she stayed tliere, crouched down
on tho old sofa, she never knew. Over and
over the dreadf\il scene she went, realizing
its worst features each time fndesimir, until
a voice out in tlih kitchen said : "Betty!"
and heavy foot-falls proclaimed that some
one was 011 tlie poiut of breaking in upon
her uninvited.
Betty sprang up, choking back her sobs,
and tried with all her might to comjiose
herself and remove all traces of; her trou-
The visitor was the wi rst possible one
she could liave under the circumstance.—
Crowding herself 011 terras of the closest
intimacy with the pretty who with
her husband had moved into tho village a
twelve month previous, Miss Klvlra Sim
mons had made the very most of htr op
portunities, and by dint of nuking great
parade over helping her in some domestic
work, such as house-clcaulug, dressmaking
and the like, the maiden lady had managed
to ply her otlier vocation, that of tivws
gatherer, at one and the same time, pretty
etfectually.
She always called hei I v th # first name,
though Bo'lj rteertf*.. v*. unu>*' made a
great handle of her friendship on every oc
casion, making John rage violently aud vow
a thousand tiin s the "old maid" should
walk.
Jiu* she never had—and now, scenting
dimly, like a canon after its own prey, that
trouble might couie to the pretty little white
house, the makc-mischl T had coine to do
her work; if devastation had not already
commenced.
"Jk'en crying!" she more plainly
than polite, sinking down into the pretty
ehintz-covered rockiiig-cliair with au energy
that showed she meaut to stay, aud made
the chair creak fearfully.
"Only folks do say that you and your
husband don't live happy—but la! I wouldn't
mind—l know taln't yoitr fault."
Betty's heart stood still. Had it come to
this? John and she not llv • happy I To
Ixs sure they didn't .is a., remembered with
a pang the dreadful aceiie of words and hot
tempers; but had it gotten around so soon
—a story in everybody's in »uth
With all tier distresses of mind she was
saved from opening her mouth. So Miss
Simmons, failing iu that, was forced to go
on.
"An* I tell folks so," she said, rocking
herself back aud forth to witness the effect
of her words, "when they git to talk! 11'; so
you can't blame me if 'hings don't go easy
for jou, I'm sure!"
"You tell folks?" repeated Betty vaguely,
aud standing quite still. "What ? 1 don't
understand."
"Why, tliat the blame is all his'n," cried
the old maid, exasjH'i ited ut her strange
mood and her dullness. "1 say,says I, why
there couldn't no one live with him, let
alone that pretty wife he's got. That's what
1 say, lietty. Aud then 1 tell 'em what a
queer man he is, how cross, an—"
*'-Wal )•«> L* U.f J»>«j.lt» .4C.1 viilll^S
of my husband?" cried Betty, drawing her
self up to her cxtremcst height, ai.d tower
ing so over the old woman in the chair that
she jumped in confusion at the stonu she
had raised, aud stared blindly into the bla
zing eyes and face rosy with righteous in
dignation—her only thought was how toget
away from the storm she had raised but
could not stop. But she was forced to stay,
for Betty stood just in front of the chair
and blocked up the way, so she slunk back
into the smallest corner of it and took it as
best she could. "My husband !" cried Bet
ty, dwelling with pride on tho pronoun—at
bast, if they were to part, she would say it
over lovingly as much as she could till the
last moment; and then, when tho time did
come, why, people should know it was
John's fault—"the best, the kindest, the uo
hlcst husband that ever was given to a wo
man. I've made him more trouble than
you can guess; my Ijpt temper has vexed
him—l've been cross, aud iiu}iatieut and—"
"Hold!" cried a voice, "you are talking
against my wife!" aud in a moment big John
Peabody rushed through the door, grasped
the little woman in his arms and folded her
to his be;irt, right before tlie old maid aud
all.
"Oh/" said Miss Simmons, sitting up
straight and setting her spectacles more
firmly.
"And now that you have learned all that
you can," said John, turning aiouud to her,
still holding Betty, "why—you may go."
The chair was vacant. A dissolving view
through the door w ;is all that was to be seen
of the gossip, who started up the road hur
riedly, leavingpcaOß In-hind.
"Betty," said John, some half hour after
ward, "what was the sigh for ? I don't care
now, but 1 did think, dear, and It cut lue to
the heart, how you miKlffSfcr jtsrcled rich
er. I longed to put ten limes ten into your
hand, Betty, and it galled me liecatise 1
couldn't."
Betty smiled ami twisted away from his
grasp, ltunning Into the bedroom she pres
ently returned, still smiling, with a bundle
rolled up in a clean towel. This she put on
her husband's Knee, who staled at her won
doringly.
"I didn't mean," she said, unpinning the
bundle, "to got It out now, but I have to.
Why, John, day after to-morrow in your
birthday."
"So 'tia," said John. "Gracious! has it
come around so soon ?"
"And you, dear boy," sab! Betty, shaking
out ln»fore his eye a pretty, brown affair, all
edged with silk of the bluest shade, that
presently assumed the proportions of a
dressing gown, "this is to t»e your present.
But you must bo dreadfully surprised, John,
w hen you get it, for oh, I didn't w ant you to
know it !•'
John made; au answer ho thought best. |
When he spoke again he said, perplexed,
while a small pucker of bewilderment set
tied lietween his eyes :
"But I don't see, Betty, whit this thing,"
laying one on the gown, "had to do
with tlie sigh."
"That," said Betty, ami then slie broke
into a siorry laugh, that got so mixed up
with the dimples and tlie dancing brown
eyes that for a moment she couldn't finish
"Oh, John, 1 nas worrying so ovir those
buttons. They weren't good, hut they were
1 the best I could do then. And I'd only
bought 'em yesterday. Two whole dozen.
And when you put that $lO bill in my hand,
I didn't hardly know ii, but I sup|H>*e I did
give one little bit of a sigh, for I was so
provoked that I had waited buying them
until to-day."
John caught up the little woman, dressing
gown and all. I don't think they have ever
quarreled since--at least I have never heard
of it.
Our Fortune Teller.
As a great many well-meaning but over
curious young people, unwilling to await
the unrolling of the scroll of fite by the
slow but certain hand of time, are throwing
a KKI~ their 'temps upon lmiuMtors wbpre
tend to be astrologers and readers of the fu
ture through the medium of the stars, we
have thrown into a condensed form the
whole theory of the art of fortuue telling,
by the careful study of which any lady or
gentleman can become a proficient. Our
system is infallible, and, a* will be perceiv
ed, is gotten up after the style of the alma
nac, and we assure our readers is fully as
reliable that interesting annual.
January—The child born in this month
will not l»e ushered into the world in July.
He or she will reach man or womanhood,
if they live, and lie of strong frame and rc
bust health, if not weak and ailing. They
will become wealthy if they happen to ac
cumulate or inherit fortunes.
February—The man born in this month
Is born :.t a later period in the year than the
one born in the preceding month, lie
will in all likci.nood In* ardent lovoi of wo
men, and will not refuse au occasional
drink. The woman IH»I:I iu this month
will greatly resemble women born in other
months, fihe will endeavor to dress iu the
fashion.
March—The man born in this mouth will
he handxomc, if he is not ill-looking, lie
will be very apt t«» die when his time coiues.
The woman will t»e a tidy housekeeper, if
sho is not slovenh, and a great chatter box,
if she resembles the rest of lur sex.
April—The man born in this mouth will
be very unfortunate if pood fortune does
not prove lus friend. The woman will be
freckled if she runs much 'n the sun without
her bonnet.
May—The mail who is born in this month
will have the advantage; over the one born
in December, inasmuch as the weather is
milder. He will commence life in a cradle,
and, without a chance, end it iu a colliu.—
The woman will lx* very fond of reading if
■ilk' '.K totHi 1 »|*J- Uik.lll U>l] i-tn- T k>
books.
June—The man born in this month will
love mint-Julips, and will IMJ a constant lov
er until he finds a new sweetheart. The
woman will wear filters, if she have a pret
ty foot, neat ankle, aud a well-turned «alt.
July—The man born in this month will
be very fond of bread, meat, vegetables ami
coffee, and pretty apt to eat three meals a
day—if he can procure them.
August—Ti*e man born in this month
will be jtassiouatc aud ardent—so much of
the latter that his favorite spirits will be
ardent ones. The lady will marry young,
if an opportunity ami an eligible match
present themselves.
September—The man born iu this month
will become the purchaser of the lucky
ticket in the "busted up" Radical Orphan
ami Widows' Relief Association, if he was
foolish enough to invest in the scheme.—
The woman will be very fond of being
courted, and singing "Kiss ine quick and
go, my honey."
October—The man born in this month
will come into the world in the apple gath
ering season. The lady will In; very fond
of tlie society of gmitleuien, ami very in
dustrious, if not of a lazy disposition.
November—The man born iu this month
vrill just escape coming into the world iu
the last month of ths year. The lady will
be fond of pop-corn and sleighing parties.
She will be always ready to pay the toll
when crossing a in a sleigh.
December—The man born in this month
Will l>e apt to wel -ome the new year at a
very early age. The woman will have very
pretty eyes If they are not "cross or squint"
an«l will make a "full hand" at a candy
pulling.
The Cheapest Hives.
They were spinning yarns. One old man
sat apart from the others aud looked sad and
forlorn, a.-* if Iu; never had thought of levity
in all his life.
"My wife 1i:ls been one of cheapest
luxuries a man ever enjoyed," said one.—
"We have !v«-n married eighteen years, aud
she has cost me less than a thousand dollars
all told."
"Pooh I" said anotlier. "I have been
married uine years, ami my wife's total ex
penses have been scarcely three hundred
dollars."
The sad man drew a long, deep sigh and
said, —
"Weil, well! I was married forty years
ago, boys, and from that day to this my
wife has cost me only one hundred and
nineteen dollars, and she has hud everything
she needed, too."
"How in the world did you get through
so cheap f"
"The poor gal died the second week after
I married her."
The crowd spared his life because he was
sad.
There is a power to make each hour
As sweet as heaven designed it!
Nor need we roam to bring it home,
Though few there be that find it.'
We seek too high for things close by,
And l»se what nature found us;
For life hath here no charm so dear
As home aud friends around us.
IMayed II on (lie Doctor.
44 But the thing that puzzles rnc,"
says a prominent physician, ''is to cor
rectly diaguose the ailment of a boy.
I was called up tho other day by a
frantic father, who hurried mu from my
blaukcts half dressed to HOO his dying
boy.
"When I arrived at the bedside of
the suffering patient the whole commu
nity WAS about him. 1 saw this was a
violeut attack of diphthoria, and I found
ii hard to say that ii|was not a dangerous
case. 1 remained some time and then
left, promising to call early in the
morning, which I did. 1 approached
the house with more trepidation than is
my wont, because I knew if he was
worse, as I feaicd, that I would have in
his mother a case of uncontrolable hy
pochondria. I went to his room, the
bed was vacant aud my heart sank.
"He is dead, L thought, and they
have taken him into the parlor and laid
him out, surrounded by the decorations
of the room. I approached the parlor
with velvet tread, and going to the dar
kened window opened the blind. As 1
did so 1 looked out, and there he was
in his bare feet, bare-headed, with his
trowsors rolled up above his knees,
playing 'horse' in tho street in a pool of
cold slush, lie looked up at 111 c, shut
one eye and called out, "llcllo, Doc,
mamma's gone to the matmco. She
said you could leave your stuff' on the
dressing case.' "
4 Senator's Rune
Some years ago some Wisconsin 1
lands were advertised for sale under
the general law and United States Sen
ator Sawyer, then as now a large Wis
consin land holder, took care to post
himself thoroughly upon the value of
each purccl put up at auction. When
the sale day arrived a party of Eastern
capitalists 011 tne lookout for a specula
tion were on hand to bid. They knew
Sawyer, and in every instance they
raised his bid. They felt very much
when liioy or »«.vugt4i they
saw, a look of annoyance steal over his
placid countenance as sections was knock
ed down to tbcui. They bought nearly
! every parcel upon which Sawyer set a
! price, and went away delighted at their
shrewdness Some years after they visi
ted Wisconsin and called upon Sawyer.
Ho was delighted to see theiu, invited
them to his house i:i Oshkosh, aud treat
ed them very hospitably. They were
going to look at the lands they hail
purchased at the sale. Sawyer chuck
led as he shook each by the hand, and
invited them to call again when they
came back. They have not called to
date. The Senator expected to meet
sharpers at that sale, and so got a friend
to bid on all the best lands for him and
secured the good timber lands offered.
The Eastern men still hold the titles to
half the bogs in Wisconsin.
Persian Bread.
"I'ersian bread," writes a correspon
dent now in Afghanistan, "is a very
peculiar production . it is made in large
flaps, in some cases about a yard long—
if ever the Persians reach tho advanced
state of morning newspapers they might
have them printed on their bread, so
that tUcy could read the news while
they cat aud swallow everything liter
ally. On seeing these large flaps I have
often thought that they must resemble
tho blacksmith's leather apron which
was the old standard of Persia ; if the
bread is not made after that model they
have managed to produce an article
verv much like it, not qnly iu size, but
iu color and toughness at the same time.
We have had now nearly two months'
experience of this maUrial. and it was a
delight on coming here to get for our
break fait the first moining ' bread that
was made on a somewhat later model
than an old leather apron."
As a rule uot one letter in twenty
which is received at the Wliito llsusc
reaches tho eye of the President. Peo
ple write all kind of letters to the Pres
ident iu the hope that ho will read tliera.
Applications for office are immediately
sunt to the department to which they
pertain. Suggestions as to tho policy
of the administration are read and filed
away at the White House, but it is
doubtful if they are looked at again. No
attention is paid to reoommendations of
unknown people, though many of such
letters arc kept. As a rulo no answer
is ever sent, though in cases where they
are refened to departments, a letter is
written the sender by the departmental
officer acknowledging their receipt.
NO. 49
Didn't Turn Pule.
The court and jury, a» well as the
general public, eujoy thu scene wbeu a
lawyer, in an attempt to badger or
browbeat a witness, couics off second
best in the encounter. A correspond
ent relates au amusing incident of this
kind which happened a few years ago
in a court-room. The plaintiff, who
was a lady, was called upoa to testify.
She got on very well and mad* a fa
vorable impression on the jury under
the guidance of her couusel, until the
opposing counsel subjected her to a
sharp cross-examination. This so ooo
f'used her that she became faint and fell
to the floor in a swooni Io cross-exaui
ining the Dezt witness the counsel a«k
ed :
I>id you ftoc the plaintiff faint a short
tiuie ago ?
Yes, sir.
People turn pale when they faint,
don't they ?
No, not always.
Did you ever hear of a case of faint
ing where tho party did not turn pale ?
Yes, sir.
Did you ever see such a case 1
Yes, sir.
When '
About a year ago.
Where ?
In this city.
Who was it ?
'Twas a negro, sir.
Peal after peal shook the room, in
which the venerable Judge joined.—
The defendant's counsel lost his ease,
not to say his temper.
Ccntrirugnl Force.
Artemus Ward did not claim to be a
scientist, but rather an artist in wax.
lie oneo gave his thoughts, however, to
one of the great problems of science
with this result-
The earth moves round from west to
east in a year, and turns on its axis in a
day.
Supposing the earth to be suddenly
arrested on its axis, wo alj -sown, wo
men, children, horses, cattle, and sheep,
donkeys, editors, and members ot Con
gress—with all our goods and chattels,
would be thrown into the air at a speed
of one hundred aud seventy-three miles
a minute, every mother's son of us de
scribing the arc of a parabola, which is
probably tho only description we should
ever be able to give of the affair.
This eatasthrophe, to one sufficiently
collected to enjoy it, would doubtless be
exceedingly amusingly ; but as there
would probably be no time for laughing,
we pray that it may not occur until after
our demise, when, should it take place,
our monument will probably aocompa
ny us.
Advantage of Cueekftlnbm.—
Give us, oh give us the man who sings
at his work ! Bo his occupation what
it may, he is equal to any of those who
follow the same pursuit in silent tullen
ness. He will do more in the same
time—he will do it better—be will per
severe longer. One is scarcely sensible
of fatigue whilst ho marches to music.
The very stars are said to make harmo
ny as they revolve in their spheres
Wondrous is the stretgth of cheerful
ness—altogether past calculation are
its endurance. Efforts, to be perma
nently usefiiljmust be uniformly joyous—
a spirit all sunshine—peaceful from very
gladness—beautiful beeauso bright
Curlylo.
That there is nothing so cheap as hu
man flesh and blood has been the cry of
thousands of reforming philanthropists.
Once Tom Ilood wrote the plaint: "Oh,
God, that bread should be so dear aud
flesh and blood so cheap !" Tho French
consul at Zanzibar gives a new point to
the complaint by pointing out that the
scarcity of food is so great in Oeotral
Africa that iLc natives ore actually sell
ing themselves or families to obtain
food. As a consequence the market
rules low: An able-boiied man is
worth less than a dollar ; a young wo
man is only worth about $1,871, a«d
children arc thrown iu as uiake-weigbts
to settle tho burgain.
Rui.inu I'assion Stronuin Death.
A strange man was picked up in A
fainting condition in the street and ta
ken to thu hospital. "Who was that
man tlicy brought here V asked a re
porter of tho superintendent about an
hour afterward. "I don't knew," was
tho reply, "lluw is he?" -Lyingat
tho point of death." "Oh, is lie? WeM,
I'll bet a dollar be's a lawyer."
A fight among bossee u nure to pro
duce boss scbisui.