THE DANBURY REPORTER-POST.
VOLUME XIV.
" Reporter and Poet.
PUBLISHED WEEKLY AT
DANBURY. N. C.
PCtPER 4 80NS, Pubs. 6r Props
■ATM OF IIW'HIPTIO* i
Vufur, piuklflt la "*JS
SU Mentha '•
■ATM er AATKBTIMROI
hi>r (too um» «r Ha.) 1 tlm*, »1 oo
far Aeh additional Iaa«gllo» W
C.ntr.ct. for c»u bo
*Hb.1..l idxrltertllU be Mwrted nwml
•HMIRg to UMkratw *tth« dme thoy .e...l
"mm Ne'leae Win ha so par MM. higher
"bUSH*oifdl'wUl ta Jaaarted Ufu Dollari
yerajnum.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
ROBERT D. GIT-HER,
Attorney and Counsellor,
MT. AIRY, N. C.
Practice* in tt» courts of Surry, Stokes,
Yadkla aad Aileghauy.
~~ W. F. CARTER,
jtrreajrMr-aT'&a w.
*T. AIRY, SURRY CO., N. C
Fratk*« wkf rewr hUterviow are wintaJ
R L. HAYMORE,
attorney-ATLAW
Mt. Airy. N. C•
Special attention given to the collection ot
claims. 1 - lim
B. F. KINO,
WITH
JOHNSON, SUTTON # CO.,
DHY GOODS,
Koa. Tt ami M South Sharp, Street,
T- W. JOHFBON, R- M - 80TU0W.
J. U. R. GRABBK, O. J. JOHNSON.
F.DAV, ALHEItT JONEB.
BAY & X
manufacturers ot
8 ADDLEBY.HARNESS, 001.1. Alts,TKl'Sß
No. 338 W. Baltimore street, Baltimore, Jftl.
W. A. Tucker, B.C. Smith, . U.S. Spraggtna
Tuckori Smith *• Co-i
Manufarturhra & wholesale l»ealoni In
HOOTS, SHOES, lIATS AND CAPS.
Mo. MS Baltimore street. Baltimore, *l.
K. J. * U. E. BUST,
WITH
Henry Sonncborn s' Co.,
WHOLESALE CLOTHIERS.
M Aaaoyer »t., (hotweoaGerman & Lombard SUi
BALTIMORE MD.
B. SONNE BORN, B. BLtMLINE
_ _,. Te , v . W. 8. ROBERTSON
®. L. COTTKKLL, A. S. W ATKINS.
Watkins, Cottrell * Co..
Importer. and Jobber. of
HABOWABE.
1307 Main Street,
RICHMOND, TA.
A rent* ror Fairbanks Standard Rcalea, an
Aakof Brand Bolting Cloth.
Uttyktn Flinty, 11 Bl '" r
W. U. MILEB,
WITH
STEPHENPUTjYE Y4 CO.
Wholemrte denier* in
Boots, Shoes, and Trunks,
1219 Main Street,
gtpt. Ml-Oat. RICHMOND, VA.
1. k. ABBOTT, OF » 0.,
with
Wince, ELLETT t CRUMP,
RICHMOND, VA.,
Wholesale Deal on ia
BOOTS, SHOW, TBTJWM, AO.
Prompt attention paid 10 orderf, and satts
hcllon g»a ran teed.
Fir/ MM SUU PritM l Ooodt a iptnaUy
Hareh, •. m _
aaaiar w. rowaaa. aaeaa p. VAVIO .
*. W. POWERS * CO.,
WMOLEBALB DRUGGISTS,
■ Dealer! in
PAim, OILS, DYSS, VAIUiISHRS,
French and American
WIBDOW OLABB. PUTTY, kO
SMOKING AND GHEWINO
01GAR8, TOBACCO A BPBOIALTT
ISO# Main St.. Richmond, V
AaiwH-U-
J. L. C. BIRD, ~
WITH
W. D. KYLE &
DtPCBTEBS AND JOBBF.BS OF
HARDWARE, Cutlery,
IRON, NAILS and CABBTAGI GOODS
No. 9 Governor Street,
RICHMOND,VA.
* ' wl
* VOfi
' J0 .+ *
•.*
r X* "
•* % .
Your County Paper,
T $ ■
4,
-iThe Reporter and Post- ■
■ ■*
v ; /"« t\ f
r THE FKOPLK! FOB THE PEOPLE.
OF THE rmipi.gr FOU TUKI'KOIM.KI
or THE PRL >L"LE I FOB THJ-. JFCOPLE I
U* TIHFTIC'FL-* T FOB THE PEOPLE I
J
ONLY $1.50 A YEAR!
BUIISCRIBE MOW
Jt is your duty to aid your county
paper. We propose publishing a good
family paper, and solicit from our
friond.', and from iho Democratic party
in Stokes and adjoining counties a li
beral support. Make up clubs for us.
Now go to work, and aid an enterprise
devoted to your best interests. Head
tbe following
NOTICES OF TIIE PRESS :
The REPORTER AND POST is sound in
policy and politics, and deserves a libe
ral support.— RcidsniUe Weekly.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POUT
begins its thirteenth year. It is a good
piper and deserves to live long und live
well.— Daily Workman.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
celebrates its twelfth anniversary, and
with pardonable pride refers to its suc
cess, which it deserves.— Xcws and Ob
server.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
is twelve yean old. It is a good paper
and should be well patrouitcd by the
peoplo of Stokes. It ocrtaiuly deserves
It.- Salem Press.
For twelvo long years the Danbury
REPORTER AND POST lias been roughing
it, and still manages to ride the waves
of the journalistic eea. We hopo that
it will have plain sailing after awhile.
Lexington Dispatch.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
has just passed its l'2th anniversary and
under the efficient management of broth
er Duggint oannot fail to increase in
popularity with the people of Stokes and
adjoining oountiea. — Winston Sentinel
The editorials oil political topics arc
timely and to the point, and the general
make up of every page shows plainly
the exercise of much caro and pains
taking. Long may it live and flourish
under the present management. — Moun
tain Voice.
Tbe Danbury REPORTER AND POST
baa entered the thirteenth year of its ex
istence, and we congratulate it upon the
prosperity that is manifested through its
columns. To us it is more than an ao
quaintanoe, and we regard it almost as a
kinaman.— Leaksvillt Gazette.
Tbe Danbury REPORTER AND POST
last week oelebrated its twelfth anniver
sary. It is a strong and reliable paper
editorially, it is a good local and gener
al newspaper and in all respects a credit
to iu town and section. It ought to be
well patronised.— Stalesville. Landmark.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
hasjnstenterod its ISthyear. Wcwere
one of tbe erew that launched the RE
PORTER, and feel a djcp interest in its
welfare, and hope that she may drift on
ward with a elear sky and a smooth sur
faoe for as many more years.— Caswell
Mews.
The Danbury ' REPORTER AND POST
has celebrated iu 12th anniversary.. Tbe
paper is sound in poliey and politics,
and deserves tbo hearty napport of the
people of Stokes. It is an excellent
weekly and we hope to see it flourish in
the future as never before— Winston
Leader.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
came out last week with a long editorial,
entitled, "Our Twelth Anniversary"
and reviews its past history in a Very
eutertaining way. Go on Bro, Pepper
in your good work; you got up one or if
not the best country paper in North
Carolina.— Kernersvillt Jfern.
That valued exohange, published in
Danbury, N. Cj the RKPORTU A#l>
POST, has entered upon iu 12th anni
versary. Long may it live to call tie
attention of the outside world to a coun
ty whieh is as rieb, we suppoM, in min
erals as any in the State of North Car
olina, and to battle for correct pclitiesl
measures. -Danville Times.
"NOTHING BITCCEEDM SUCCEHS,"
DANBURY, N.'C, THURSDAY, JULY 30, 1885.
My First Love Affair.
BY ZACHARTAn ALL F.N.
(Written for the ltaroariEa «»o PO«T.]
At aboul styentccn age, 1
school was larger and the girls *fcre ll
t*eding)y pbity -the town jflfefcootea
Tor iu beautiful women. There was
one roey-ebaeked miss, rather older than
she Wl* fcußid, and her eyes
were ot great beauty and brilliancy—-
Ilcr Itior" was very lively, and her
oonvernation polished and'faumoroua.—
When an opportunity offered, I selected
her as a partner for a prominado. She
seemed -'nothing loth," and we were
most bappy. But I coald nok talk to
her, for my basbfulnoss was extreme.—
I would have given one ot my great
toes to be able to tell tho tender things
that then crowded about my beurt. 1
found it vain, however, and was forced
to content myself looking only, with
unutterable emotion.
Six months were passed in this bliss
ful experience. She treated me as if I
were a promising boy, who might grow
into something. In this she did not
show much judgment, is was clearly
proven by my wasting all my first hilar
ity of spiriu in the sober meditations
of a first attachment.
There was, during tho winter, a party
in town, to which all the young people
were invited. It was here I met this
young "daisy," where, for the first time,
our intercourse could be unrest rained.
I succeeeded, after divers efforts which
sent tho perspiration in streams to my
forehead, in seating myself at her side,
and finally struck off iuto an interesting
conversation.
The oveDing passed off delightfully.
Tbo party rose to go ; and then, watch
ing my opportunity; I asked lief to es
cort my fair one to her dwelling. She
smilingly consented. We walked slow
ly along tbe quiet streeU of the town,
apart from the rest of tho party, and
now and then asking and answering
some question of trivial interest.
Tbe walk, though near a mile, seemed
only a few steps, and as her stately edi
fice appeared in view, I walked still
slower. Whon wo reached the steps of
the front door, a small, glimmering
light upon the kitchen hearth announced
that the family bad retired for the
night. She ascended tbo door steps aud
stopped, and the bright moan shone full
on bcr radiant face as sbc raised ber
blue eyes to her "lovercst of lovers."
I seised be r band, and she made no ef
fort to take it away ; I looked up in her
face, and she looked down on mo, and
I can't say how it was done- our lips
met—warm, blushing, trembling with
emotion. 1 took, I believe, only one
kiss, but that was sufficient for tbe ox
act moment. Sho sprang within the
door, saying "gsod night" in tones that
sounded to my oar like the softest,
sweetest breathings of a negro "corn
song," and the door closed upon her
charms.
This was tbe first love kiss I had over
receivod.
I walked slowly toward my homo, I
believe on tbe tip of my toes. I stop
ped after a moment to get breath ; tbo
moon seemed to wink at me roguishly,
and aa I leaned .gainst tho bars of a
railing near a green pasture, I murmor
ad : "How delicious that was! Was
ever molasses sweeter t Did over a
banjo sound such sweet notes as fell
from her lips ? That good night!'—
Ah, if in augol bad leaned from tbe
oloud, is could not bavo whispered
"peace" in more ravishing strains. Ah,
Zack, you aro a pluoky fellow. May
millions of blessings descend and rest
upon your name, and tho most blissful
of earthly pleasures perpetually flow in
upon you!"
Soliloquizing, 1 reached my father's
dwelling, and entered tho kitchen door,
softly and slyly. All the lights were
extinguished. 1 locked the door, and
crept toward the parlor. How nico,
thought I, that all are gone to bod.—
Not one soul to disturb the blissful at
titude of my feelings.
I opened very softly the parlor door.
Thunder and earthquakes ! There sat
my father! He bad been doting in the
arm-ohair, but my entrance aroused
bim.
"This is protty doings for a boy'"
he exelaimcd. 'Where on oarth have
you been ? Tell me, «ir, where havo
you been so late V
"Only waiting on tbo ladies homo
from the parly, sir," I timidly toplicd.
"Ladieel" be exolaimed with a sneer.
"How long since they havo learned to
go alone, and left off their sucking bot
tles and dolls ! How long unco your
mother roeked you in the cradle and
cleaned your ditty face ' Mere chil
dren ! Go to bed, sir, and when you
are old enough to out "timber" from
your chin, yon may consider yourself
capable of gallanting tbe ladies, and
perbaps of feeling a preference for one
among their number. At present you
are about as fit for a beau as a year-old
colt is for a coach horse!"
Since that eventful night, I haven't
taken much slock in 'gallanting ladiea,'
but if a»y ot- ue lair ones choose to
write me a line, tliey can direct their
letters to Zatk Allen, P. O. Box No. 5,
Prestonville, N. C., and their wishes
will receive due consideration.
An Extraordinary Capture.
A tbicf contrived to gain admission
into a set of chambers during tbe ab
sence ot tfce lawful occupant, aud at
once proceeded to lay hands on every
thing of value he could find. In the
midst of operations it occurred to him
that his wardrobe was in urgent need
of renewal, and he therefore took off
bis clothes with a view of replacing
them by other:; he found iu the room.
Scarcely, however, had ho reduced him
self to the garb of primivc man when
he hoard a step outside, and promptly
laid himself under tbe bed. Some oue
entered the room, and the thief lay
noiseless for several minutes. At length
the new comer departed and be ven
tured to leave his hiding-place. But,
i.iuch to his disgust, he discovered that
his visitor had been a gentleman iu his
own way of business, foi not only was
everything in tbe chamber carried off.
I but oven bis own suit of clothos dis
| appeared ! lie was therefore compell
ed to await the return of tbe owner of
I the property, who banded him over to
i the police.
How Men of Iron are Killed.
People know nothing about each oth
er. Every man is a globe, a natural
history to himself. When wo have
beaten every enemy outside of us, there
arises unseen enemies withiu us. You
see tbe powerful boise go to tbe field
every day and take his place at the
plow, and one day you find him dead,
and you ask what the tiouble might
have been. The hor9c could not speak,
but tbe doctor comes aloeg aud tells
you that ho has had the bots. You ask
what the bots may be. Bots you find
are some kind of inseot that are propa
gated within tho animal, feeding upon
his health and life. So it i« with men
at work, when they are apparently most
healthy most unknown species of thing
seems to want to prey upon them, if for
nothing else than beeanac of such abun
dant health. We slay tbe fattest steer;
the noblest sheep we want upon our
plate. Therefore, strong, sensible men
are often the victims of the commercial
necessities of life and wear tbcmselvos
down and out when everybody else is
wondering how they procured such an
iron fabrio.
Waahlnglon'a Argument
Speaking of two legislative bodies as
against one, there ia no better illustra
tion than tbe atory that ia told by tbe
great French publicist, LaLoulaye, of
Washington and Jofferton. Jefferson
WM taking tea with the father of his
country, and, having recently return
ed from Fiance, was talking of tho
legislative ohamber. Washington lis
tened with interest to the end, aud then
said.
"You havo just shown tbe superior
advantage of tbo two-chamber system :
of legislation."
"How is that ?" asked Jefferson.
"Why, you have poured your tea
out of yonr cup into your saucer to
cool."
It is said that the argument was
considered a powerful one with Jeffer
son.
A Timely Reply.
"How are clocks te-day V' asked a
dude as ho stepped into a Superior
stfeet jewelry store and smiled on the
clerk.
Tho clerk almost fainted u.idor tho
dude's sickening grin, but had tho pies
ence of mind.
"Oh ! they're all on a strike."
As would be said in a novel, Her
bert de Quinsy, the dude muttered a
curse between Ins tmc stuffod molars
and disappeared athwart tbe glimmering
gloom.
Premature Burials.
"The world would be horrified," said
a well known undertaker tbe other day,
"if it knew tho number of bodies that
are buried beforu life ia extinet. Once
ia a while one ot these eases eoines to
light, but no stops are taken to prevent
its recurrence. Something that hap
pened to me about twelve years ago bas
worried mo ever .iinoe. 1 nu sent for
one day to take charge of the body of a
man in street. The man was a
tailor, and bad fallen over while sitting
on his bench sewing, lie was a big,
fleshy man, about forty years of age,
and weighed about 250 poands. Tbe
body was warm and the limbs were
limp. 1 did not believe the man was
dead, and said so. His friends told
me that a physician bad pronounced him
dead. 1 was ordered to put the body
on ice at once, but I delayed this oper.
ation, on one pretext or another, for
nearly two days. During this time tho
body lay on the benoh in the little shop.
Finally, I could delay no longer. The
limbs were still as limber as when I
first examined tbe body. 1 prepared
the body for burial, and the next day
it was buried. Ido not believe that
man was dead when tbe eaitb was
shoveled in on his coffin If tbe same
! thing were to happen again 1 would let
somebody else do tbe buiying.
"About the same time a young wo
man living up towo was supposed to
havo died very suddenly. A physician
was called in. lie said she was dead.
An old woman who was present thought
otherwise and insisted upon it that she
was in a trance. The body was buried.
A few weeks later tho old woman de
termined to satisfy herself about it, and
bribed the grave-diggers to disinter
the coffin. The lid was removed aud
a horrible sight was soon. Tho young
woman had come to life and had ma !o
a terrible struggle for liberty. Her
hair was torn out, and her faio was
frightfully scratched. She had urn*d
over on her face.
"A person is generally believed to
i be dead if thero is no action of the heart
or pulse. A vein should bo opened.
If blood flows the person is not dead.
Tbis operation would take about thirty
seconds, but it is not often rosorted to.
Supposing the person is suffering only
from a temporary suspension of anima
tion before he can recover tho use of
his faculties an undertaker comes in and
ho is put into an ice-box, where what
ever life there may have been in him is
frozen out. The board of health should
tako hold of this matter and devise some
j means of ascertaining beyond all doubt
i that life is cxtiuct before tbe body is
I buried. 1 have thought of a good many
i different means. A receiving vault
j ceuld be built in every cemetery, where
1 bodies could bo placod until decompo
| sition had begun, when they could be
buried."—Philadelphia North Ameri
can.
It WmIII* Custom
A clerk and his country father en
tered a restaurant recently and took
seats at a table where sat a telegraph
operator «nd a reporter. The old man
bowed his head and was about to say
grace when a waiter flew up, singing,
"1 have beefsteak, oodfi>h, balls and
bullheads." Father and son gave their
orders, and the former again bowed bis
bead. The young man turned the color
of a blood-rod beet, and touching his
arm, exclaimed in a low, norvons tone,
"Father, it im't customaiy to do that ;
in icstatrants !" "It's customary with j
me to return thanks to God wherever I
am," said iho old mati. For the third
time be bowed his head, aud tbo son
bowed his head, and the telograph oper
ator paused in tho act of carving his
beefsteak and boned his head, and the
journalist put back bis fish ball and
bowed his head, and thoro wasn't a man
who heard tbe *bert and simple prayer
that didn't feel a profoundor respect
foi the old farmer than if be had been
tho President of the United Stales.-
Syracuse Herald.
Driven by an instinct which neither
we uor they can comprehend, the swal
lows pass with the changing seasons fioui
climo to olimc. Over miles of weary
plain, over loftly mountain walls, aeross
leaguer of sea, into lands unknown be
fore, tbey follow with gladness aud
trust the Hand that guides them. Wo,
too. have a journey to make into land
unknown to us; we, too, have a Hand
to guide us in that l>ng joumi'j'. S) iiue
if it for ui if wo follow the le.tdings of
that Hand with loss of gladness and of
trust than tho uurcasouiug birds of
heaven.—Sunday School Times.
CALENDAR.
/ Criminal and Citii C'UIUH-« far Trial at
Summer Term of the Superior Court nf
bhtkrn Count.y, Cuinitu nciny Monday,
AuguH 10 th, 1885.
■oudar lOlh.Tamdar IHhaMWedan
day llUi for I rimlaal Trial*
•ad Motloaa.
TrirRFDAY, AUGUST 13, 1885.
7 Ruffin heirs vs Overby.
13 Tilley vs Jessup, et al.
14 McCanless va KBncVein et al (4 caflß)
18 Morgan vs £ewts et al.
22 Hall vs WaUa.
FRIDAY, AVOCST 14, 1885.
23 Rohinsou and wife vs Smith et al.
27 Smith vs Joyce.
28 Mcrritt vs Hairston.
34 Hioks vs Lawson.
30 Smith vs Lewis.
37 Boyd vs Taylor.
55 Kreeger TS Kiger.
38 Burrell vs Martin.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 15, uiitilogcb
3!) Nicholson vs Reevos.
42 Nicholson vs Tuttle.
43 Flynt vs Burton.
40 Boze vs Sarles.
48 Lasley vs Fulton.
52 Eaton vs Lambeth.
53 Martin vs Frazier.
MONDAY, AUOU«T 17,1885.
State vs Valentine.
54 George vs Estes.
50 Lash vs MaVtin.
57 Smith vs Davis.
58 Slate vs Thoiuas.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 18, 1885.
58 Francis vs McKinney.
00 Carroll vs I'epper.
01 Martin vs Hall.
02 Lash vs East.
03 George vs Tilley.
04 Caudle vs Fallen.
05 Dodd vs Lawson.
00 Pepper Si Sons vs Alley.
07 Gibson vs Lewis.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19,1885.
08 Simpson vs bimpscn.
09 Steele vs i'ringle et al.
70 Lawsou vs I'ringle (4 cases.)
75 Nelson vs Tilley.
70 Nelson vs Nelson.
77 Stewart vs Stewart.
78 Wagner vs Dodd.
79 Hill vs Hill.
81 Ruffin heirs vs Bennett.
MOTION DOCKET.
1 Wilson vs McCanless.
2 Hutcherson vs Martin.
3 Smith adm'r vs MeCanless.
4 Francis vs Worth adm'r.
5 King vs King.
6 Hutcherson vs Hutcherson.
8 Griffin vs Griffin.
9 Martin adin'r va Hutcherson.
10 Carter vs l'oorc.
11 Timmons vs Watts.
K2 Steele vs Hawkins ei al.
19 Harris vs MeCanless.
20 llynum vs Mickey.
21 Warner vs Carroll.
24 Smith vs Jackson.
25 King adm'r vi Scales.
20 Tatum vs Piingle adm'r.
29 Kiger and others Ex Parte
-30 Chambers vs Bjnum.
31 Winston vs Winston.
32 Newsom adm'r vs Newsom.
33 Moore Ex Parte.
40 Moser and others vs Boles.
Myers vs Holding.
35 Ellington vs Steele et al.
41 Martin v« RIOT son et al.
80 Lawson vs George.
47 Smith vs Johnson.
59 Amos vs Martin.
50 Baker adm'r vs Hill ox. and Tayl«.a
41 Popper guardian Ex Parte.
74 Smith va Smith.
45 Boyles vs Rutledge.
ID tbe call, any case not reached on
tbe appointed day will be oallmi in or
der ou next day, and in precedence of
cases set for the next day.
Motions heard according to the con
venience of tbe court.
Witnesses will bo allowed pay for at
tendance only from the day cases are
set for trial, and after that time pgflg
the cause is disposed of.
J. F. GRAVES,
Presiding Judge.
Danbury, N. C., June 15th, 1885.
The Mahoncitcs of Virginia have
nominated John S. Wise for Governor.
Abraham Lincoln, just befcro he
lied \*as measured, anil found t e 0
leet -1 inches in height.
Amoug cultivated plant 9 250 are
poisonous, 00 being narcotics, and the
remainder deadly poiaon9.
NO. 6
SMALL Mm
A bag of bot sand relieves neuralgia.
Wm borax water will remove dan
druff.
Salt should be eaten with nati to aid
digestion.
Milk whiofc stand* too long makes
bittet butter.
Bake custards in oups and set in a
pan of cold water.
it reaU you. in sewing, -to change
your position frequently.
Rusy flutirons should be rubbed over
with beeswax and lard.
A hot, strong lemonade, taken at be 4
time, will break up a bad oo.'d.
Tough meat is made tender by lying
a few minutes in vinegar water.
A little soda water will relieve siok
headache caused by indigestion.
A cup of strong coffee will remove
tbo odor of onions from the breath.
A cup of hot water drank before
meals will prevent nausea and dyspep
sia.
There iB mauy a dynamiter who is
afraid to give his motber-iu-law a blow
iug up.
Clean green window blinds when fad
ed by brushing tiieu over with linseed
oil.
A cruel husband calls his wife "grecu
fruit," because she never agrees with
him.
It is .»»id that camphor gum placed
in shelvos or in drawers will effectually
clear away mice.
"How sleep the brave 1" asks a poet.
This depends largely upon the number
of cats in the neighborhood.
Some one has been lecturing on tha
" Danger of Eating Candy." Cut this
out and show it to your sweetheart.
They cat 300,000 bakers' pies every
day in Chicago, wliiea accounts in part
for the tough character of the oity.
The Indians arc the landed aristocra
cy of this country. They average more
than one square mile to the individual.
Ca-sar conquered Gaul after ten years
of steady fighting, but he was afterward
"downed" in ten minutes by a book
agent.
Funerals are getting to bo so costly
that one of the must extravagant things
a poor man can do is to lie down in bis
bed and die.
Fifty young ladies were made bache
lors last woek at a Uostou oollegc. If
this continues tbero will be a shortage
in old maids.
Paper plates are coming into fashion,
in the East. The only way the hired
girl eau gel oven is to bounce the tin
ware around and break stove oornen.
By desiring what is perfeotly good
even when we don't quite know what it
is and canuot do what we would, we are
pait of the divine power against evil.
A Lancaster lawyer gives as a reason
for not going to Europe this summer
that a rich client has just died, and he
it afraid the heirs will get the n»on
cy.
In Lapland, where tbe nights are
from three to six months long, beaux
often kisa their sweethearts 'good night'
about six weeks before day-break. Their
stock of caramels, peanuts and small
talk becomes exhausted by that time.
"What brought you to prison, my
colored frieud ?" said a philanthiopio
visitor to a Now York prisoner. "Two
constables, sah." "Yes, but 1 mean
had intemperance anything to do with
it t" "Yes, sab ; dey was bof of 'em
drunk."
Important to *-lentlsts
"Just look at this eoin. It is more
than a bundled .years old," remarked
Mrs. Yerger to Kosciuska Murphy.
"That's nothing. I've got one at
home that's a great deal older than
that. It's more than two thousand
years old."
"Look here. When you lie, why
don't you lie so it will sound probable.
Don't you know it is utterly impomible
for a coin to be two thousand yoars
old?" observed Mrs. Yerger, pleasant"
'y
"Why is it impossible V'
•ilWauso this is only eighteen bun-
Irod and eighty-five- In fifteen nr
twentw years from now you may have
a coin two thousand years old. A ooin
could not jaVti. becti urfle before the
'fiujc."