PAGE TWO
Return Of The
Prodigal Sons
(Continued From Page One)
attired in their immaculate costumes and white
caps, a flutter of excitement flickered through
the crowd, and just here occurred an incident
showing the wisdom and foresight of the
master of ceremonies, Mr. Flinchum, for sud
denly it was reported that two men were dan
gerously ill. At once physicans and nurses rushed
to the scene where it was learned that Dr. More
held was critically sick, while Mr. Lon Sisk show -
ed signs of collapsing, and two or three men were
required to hold him up to prevent his fainting.
Both of these men were affected by the heat,
which was oppressive.
But it was soon reported to everybody's relief
that the two patients were now resting comfort
ably, and everybody was delighted at this news
except Mr. Nelson, whose ambulance needed ex
ercise.
The Arrival
The clocks of Dan bury were just striking 11:30
when a lookout caught the first sight of the ap
proach of our conquering heroes, as the noble
conveyance was crossing the bridge. Mr. Fagg,
looked like Ben Hur as he held the wheel, while
P. C., Cooney. King. Woods, Alley, Nunn. Yarbro
and Pepper stood at attention behind him.
But. lo! Behind and hooked to the green truck
is a trailer on which is crowded the whole darned
Dry Bunch of the Bishop's.
Couriers sent ahead explained the situation.
There had been a reconciliation on leaving Chi
cago, and when Bob Reynolds procured the re
lease of the green truck of the R. F. C.. and sent
it by freight just before he left for Russia to es
cape job hunters —the cup of our heroes' joy was
filled to the brim. j
As the nolle green conveyance, loaded down
to the bumpers with its distinguished freight,'
round* d the curve and hove into sight, the spun
tan ecus outburst from thousands of throats
craMied into the horizons like the thunder from
a rr.u'" : u;de of concealed batteries.
At this psychological moment, the band began,
to play, directed by the line ear of Frank Hart
man.
It was also at this psychological moment, that
several cows which had been quietly grazing in
lots nearby, suddenly raised their heads, walled
their eyes, elevated their tails, broke their chains j
and hurled themselves away down the hills with
the speed of the hurricane, pell-mell, panic
stricken, at the outlandish alarum which seemed
to pervade the universe at this particular time.
Just at this moment a vague, indefinable pain
seemed to rack through the nervous systems of
the immense concourse of people, just like that
premonition that comes before jumping tooth
ache.
It appeared to the umpires of taste that some
thing was wrong with the music. i
The volume was certainly there. It seemed to
reach the remotest outlines of the universe.
Every piece was doing its part. Every player had
tears standing in his eye socket, so great was the
effort. But the rythm seemed to be out of line,
just like an automobile when it has been hit
head-on by a truck.
A committee of experts was appointed quickly
to investigate.
The report of the committee showed that
whereas about half of the musicians were play
ing "Hail to the Chief," that the other half was
blowing "Down On the Swanee River."
Finally, all the members of the band stopped
playing except Mr. Hartman who, unconscious
that his fellows had quit, continued to operate
his alto trombone in a most discordant and deaf
ening manner.
Officers were sent to wait on him and finally
he reluctantly ceased, and order was restored.
The cavalcade now approached gaily singing:
"Hail, Hail, the Gang's All Here."
Strong men broke down and cried at the thrill
ing joy of it, guns were pulled out and fired
point blank at the ambient air, and roosters ad
ded their crows to the general pandemonium.
One of the first moves of the authorities was to
put P. C. on his oath before he commenced tell-
THE DANBURY REPORTER.
ing about the sights he had witnessed. But be
fore the magistrates could make him kiss the
Bible he had jumped out and had a crowd around
|him while he was enlightening them of the won
ders of Sally Rand, accompanying his narra
tive with sundry winks and gestures. Just then
'he looked over his shoulder and saw his wife
! among the auditors. He continued thus:
' "You see, when we finally made a sally after
We had run our truck in the garage, she ran away
| from us, being accustomed to travelling, from
, force of habit, so that we couldn't stop her. She
was finally caught and jailed again."
The explanation while not entirely satisfac
tory to all parties concerned, seemed to get by
temporarily.
Order of Parade
The parade was formed at the bridge under
the immediate supervision of Mr. Flinehum, and
in it was represented all the business, industrial,
political and social groups of the city.
The procession was led by Nelson's combina
tion hearse and ambulance, as Hence said this j
would be appropriate as indicating the solemn-1
itv of the occasion. It was loaded with a number
of persons who had no cars and said they had
just as well be dead anyhow.
Next came the Business Men's parade, in the I
lead of which rode Will White, quickly followed 1
by Sam Riggs, Ebb Bennett and others. Thevj
bore huge banners which read as follows: "The!
Depression Will Now Be Over," "Business Willi
Pick l T p," "Happy Days Are Here Again," etc.
Next and close at hand came the county offi
cers afoot, as showing their humility to the vot
ers. (In justice to them it may be said that none!
of them were in the hearse.)
Next came the oldest citizens of the city, in
ihe forefront being Raleigh Young, T. S. Petrec'
e nd others. They carried banners in their hands, !
.'me of which bore inscriptions such as "Re-!
member 1576," "Never Say Die," etc.
Next came the ladies of the Fine Arts Club,
walking. (The procession coming to a halt soon,:
messengers were sent back to learn the cause re
ported that one of the ladies had lost her vanity
ca.se and was hunting it.)
A ex: in order was Mody Bull en on his motor- 1
e;vV', backfiring at every revolution.
Now came the magistrates and officers of the
'aw. (P. C. got kind of offended here and said he
liidn't see why in the hell he wasn't put at the|
head of this crowd, until he was finally persuad-l
ed that he was one of the honored guests and
should remain in the truck.)
Next in line was a large load of fodder which
Hence explained was apropos, in that the feed
stuff was responsible more than anything else
for Pid's staying away as long as he did, and it
Therefore should be honored. Everybody assen
ted to this.
Finally, last came the green truck and its trail
er, bearing their dignified and important freight.
The order of march was up Main Street to the
mill and out Mill Street where it cut across and
went up the hill by Sisk's store, and thence
around the court house and up Main Street, fin
ally reversing and travelling backwards to the
court house square where a speaker's stand had
been erected, and where the distinguished cere
monies of the day were to be pulled off.
Senator Sparger had been engaged as the
speaker of the day.
Soon every seat in the square was packed
with expectant and palpitating humanity.
Every ear was strained and every eye was
stretched, to see and hear the details of the great
cruise, with its stories of difficulties and danger,
and its honors crowded upon the good name of
the county.
The two delegations—the original Bunch and
the Cannon crowd—were seated within a pale of
honor and distinction, immediately in front of
the speaker's stand.
Senator Sparger's Address.
j The full text of Senator Sparger's address is
as follows:
"Fellow Citizens, Ladies and Gentlemen:
(Tremendous applause. )
"(I will first request that the ladies remove
their hats, and also their babies to a safe dis
tance.)
"This occasion will go down in history as one
cf the world's most notable achievements, and
may be compared only with Napoleon's invas
ion of Russia, and with the return of Caesar's
conquering- hordes to Rome.
(At this moment two yellow dogs which had
been bristling to each other, suddenly began to
•ight and caused a near panic in front of the
speaker's stand but Hence appearing with a
•dick, happily began to belabor the two boister
ous canines, who sought safety in precipitate
flight.)
During the brief interruption of Senator Spar
ger's address it was observed that several offi
cers of the law including Constable Young. Dep
uty Mose Carroll and Constable Rufus Mabe
| were in close and excited conversation. It seems
;that a quick, keen report had been heard, some
thing like the noise of a sharpshooter's tire or
'the explosion of a sniper's rifle. There was great
I but suppressed excitement, as it would not do to
let the audience sense the sinister, unseen dan
ger that impended. The officers held each his gun
in his hand, looking grim. But all at once some
j body came up and explained that the sound
which had been heard was only the snapping of
the Senator's thread of discourse.
After this explanation, everybody was reas
sured, and sat down, especially the officers. They
went way back and sat down.
The Senator went on:
"My friends, this auspicious and, so to speak,
this tremulous and tremendous occasion (cheers,
and cries of Tell it, Tell it), I say this balmy day
of September, Anno Domini 1933 (Prolonged ap
plause), must stand inscribed in golden letters
on the blazing banners of our civilization (tu
multuous applause and sustained cheering*, dur
ing which the speaker drinks another glass of
water), imperishable, and imperishably, and
generations yet unborn will thrill with ecstasy
in the sheer contemplation of it. and our children
and GRANDCHILDREN—"
1 he last words of the speaker were interrup
ted by a commotion over in the audience, and a
motioning of some bystanders to the speaker.
Coming forward to meet the Senator, they whis
pered something in the Senator's ear. The Sena
tor then raising* his voice, explained that the in
terruption was occasioned by Tom Fetree and
Pinnix Bailey who had been touched by the im
port of the Senator's last words, and were weep
ing on each other's shoulder, as they realized
they could probably never see their grandchild-
I ren, having grown too old.
The Senator now proceeded, after he had tak
en another drink of water:
"Not since the memory of man in the remote
periods of creation, has such an opportunity,
| such an accomplishment, such a VICTORY em
bellished the escutcheons of any freoborn group
of distinguished champions of—"
(We regret that at this moment the silver
tones of the orator were submerged in a crescen
do of either frightened or angry shrieks from a
large number of corralled infants in a lot near
by, which necessitated the immediate presence
of sundry mothers, who repaired hastily to the
scene to the temporary distraction of the spell
bound audience. But finally quiet was restored
a merciful calm swept over the consciousness o
the babies, and the speaker, after another glas
of water, resumed:)
As I said before, ladies and gentlemen, this i
a time when the world must cast toward the sur
kissed hills of old Stokes county a glance of sue
bitter envy, of such consuming jealousy, of sue
1 antankerous and rancid hate and malice in wi
nessing the scrapping of all known records c
fortitude, of bravery, of heroism in the face of—
It was just at this juncture that Hence appea:
• the great audience an
with his big wide hat in one hand, with the oth(
raised in a most dramatic gesture, he announce
in stentorian tones:
"Dinner is Ready!"
Incidents Of The Day
Panic immediately seized the great audienc
Everybody rushed to the tables which under tl
skilled direction of Hence, uttered a hoari
sound of pain at the weight which had bee
thrust upon them.
Just here a testimonial must be naid to the fill
(act, consideration and appreciation of Cam
Oeakman. While he and P. C. led the attackl
(Continued on Page Three) I
WEDNESDAY SEPT. 27 193.?