Page Two
OUR LIBERTIES
ARE SAFEGUARDED
|
STRONG GROUP OF PATRIOT
IC BIT INCENSED CITI
ZENS RISE UP IN TIIEIK
MAJESTY. IMPATIENCE
AND DIGNITY THE CALL
TO RALEIGH. AND IN
CIDENTS OF THE TRIP.
(Contributed)
Stokes county tax-payers, wax
ing impatient over the delay?, and
the supineness of our spineless
legislature, assembled turbulent
ind seething in the auditorium
of the court house to give ex
pression to their righteous in
iign.it ion.
The s lies tax —think of this in- •
quitous law still gnawing at the
vitals of the citizenry; killings
on the highway—Mein Gott.'
still littering up the avenues o:!
traffic; untaxed liquor, vizualizc
the vile stuff yet flowing down
the uns:aed guzzles of the
morally stunted; state camp
guards, see them moping around
with not enough change in their i
.leans to pay their poker dues: j
fertilizer high as- hell; men an 1
women growing older day by!
day and minus a S2OO check a
month to cheer them in their j
dotage; dogs going mad; catt'e
browsing on broomsage; FER.a
beef and butter fat only for
those willing to work.
_ i
Tottering on the brink of Bol
shevism, cavorting on the rim
crazy communism, rotating and
ricochet ting toward red revolu
tion— alas, our noble country! !
These and sundry other
sentiments crashed into the at
mosphere. and skyrocketing up
wards made the court house raft
ers" pop Ifke firecrackers.
l*>ng and monotonously the
welkin had rung with voclfera-'
# I
-tion and expletive. when
J&tm Taylor aime around and
Aqjd "let the welkin rest awhile, i
■beyn. Ring the bell ir. the cupol.i
a charge."
At thi. u crucial and historic
-moment a man arose from the
gneat audience. A man whose
very presence electrified the
palpitating throng, a man
whofce sheer look caused the din
"~tO~cease and the whoopee to
fizzle out like the laf»t echoes
"from the blare of a bunch of i
«teer«.
The effect was as the Valley
Forge ccim when (ieorge said: I
"Gentlemen, if there is any
more cussir/ to do. Til do it. W.
will row cross the Delaware. *' .
To when is our reference?
Who was the super-man who
arose to this stupendous crisis? ;
Y'ou ha-e guessed it —it is the
Hon. Pusillanimous C. Campbell,
Justice of the Peace of Danburv
township.
cheers tumultuous
appiaus". '-conipanied by only n
few cat cr:!!s )
All v:r"- still then ,iu c -' :»s snoii
as somebody kicked out a dog,
and feet r'.oppcd rattling the tin
spittoon :
"Fellow citizens," said the
jurist whose legal skill is sueii
that he can try caf2s even with
out the co-operation of witness
es, "fellow citizens, let us to
Raleigh to the fountain head of
our riflifs. Let us go in person
1o reconnoitre and to investigate
this mysterious impasse of our
♦mpor "'b!e representat!ves."
"Ladies and gentlemen," now
—ruled the chairman, "nominations
are in order for delegates to
Raleigh."
But Hence Flinchum got on
his feet and said that he did not
believe in nominations or elec
tions, and that he himself
ready to go with P. C., yea, even
to the ends of the earth."
Inspired by these heroic words
and inspirited by the example 01,
l
the two champion corn growerr
of Stokes county, volunteers be-,
gan to spring up like toad stools
on a summer's night and to be
heard like pop-corn in a hot j
skillet.
Marion Stephens. Tom Petree.
Hanes Linville, Jerry Baker,
John Hutcherson, Jim Bennett, j
Frank Dunlap. Jim Young. JulCj
Stevens, Pinnix Bailey and last ]
but not least, the editor of the |
Reporter, were now trying to
balance themselves on the back
of benches and yelling:
"We will go, we are ready,
:
show us the way to Raleigh."
Of course the audience went
| wild again—how could it help
going wild to see such a demon
stration of courage, patriotism
, and bunkosity.
i The welkin which had been
quiet awhile now began to ring
again until the Sheriff shook his
l
head again.
Now Delegate Young arose and
made the motion that "we be |
I
permitted to bear our own ex- _
penses on this trip."
This seemed to grieve the
great audience, and many persons
i were seen to bend over in their
seats with troubled countenances,
while others wiped away tears.
I But after considerable synthetic
debate Delegate Young's pro
posal gained headway and the
crowd at last very reluctantly
vielded, and expressed themselves
: *
jas willing for the delegates to
pay their own way.
Now adjournment was In or- '
I
der. Somebody suggested there
was no time to lose as the
| General Assembly would probably
adjourn by June 1.
| sk) the meeting began to
break up. Everybody w.ts happy
at the great c-vents on hand.
Arrangements were quickly
made to start at sunrise the fol
i
lowing morning, and Marioa
Steven? was made a committee of
on« on transportation. He wouid
convey tie delegates in Lis Ford. 1
THE START
J Brilliant arrows of light shot
out of the purple and yellow
■ East, and hitting the dome of
the Stokes county Temple of
Justice, shattered themselves into
[ , |
a thousand pieces, lighting up ob-,
I jects around the court house
i I
square. |
It is regretted to state that
these arrows were slightly late.
Eleven human being? stand
ing in a grim phalanx before
Marion Stevens' barber shop were
already lit.
The sun was rising.
The Delegate:.' were icnJy t >
embark.
The Ford was panting "is
Marion was at the wheel an !
yelling "Let's go."
Now we feel sure it will be o.
interest to the readers to know
the order and system which pre
vailed on this momentous em
barkation.
As we said before Marion wao
at the wheel. He meant to drive,
as he was animated with a high
purpose to "get there," before
I
! that tax on slot machines pass
ed.
So for the third time we must
THE DANBIRV BEPOBTEK
aver that he was at the wheel.
Just how eleven men, some of
them slightly obese and corpulent,
were to adjust themselves com
fortably on his Ford, was noro
jof his business. But he would
' pull them —that was his part of
' this "patriotic" thing—and that
was all.
; "Git aboard, I said," he cried.
' this time not meaning maybe.
So here is the arrangement
which was immediately adopted.
i
as M. was at the wheel (fourth),
and shouting "Let's go."
First, Mr. Baker o cupied back
seat on the left. Mr. Petree back
seat in the middle, Mr. JiUe
j Stevens back seat on the right, i
Mr. Young sat front seat or.
the right, Mr. Fli ichum fi.-nt!
I seat in the middle and V*.
Marion Stevens at the wheel,
(fifth mention).
Now Mr. Hutchcrson sat in Mr.
Baker's lap, Mr. Dunlap sat i:i ,
Mr. Petree's lap, Mr. Linville sat
in Mr. Jule Stevens' lap, Mr.!
Bennett sat in Mr. Young's lap,'
and the editor sat in Mr. Flin-'
chum's lap.
As Mr. Marion Stevens was at
i
the wheel (no use to number),
he could take on no ballast in
his lap, and so Mr. Bailey he lay
| cross-wise in the laps of the
second row on the back.
I I
By this time quite a number of
l I
citizens had gathered, and so]
! now being given a hearty shove
by a dozen lusty shoulders, and
amid the cherry "good-lucks" and
"best wishes" from the shover
the Ford chugged away down the'
road.
Aot many miles had been clip- j
ped off before there was heard
i
two voices of protest and impre
cation.
The noise came from Mr.
Flinehum and Mr. Bakei, res
pectively. I
Mr. Flinehum stated that ho!
never could get his breatn
satisfactorily in a car. and that
he would prefer to ride outside.
Mr. Baker declared that It would
be impossible for him to con
tinue on the trip unless he could _
I chew his tobacco.
So Marion put on the brake.-;
and the Ford slowed down,
while Hence and Jerry painfully
clambered out and stood on the
pavement.
| Mr. Flinehum expressed his
great satisfaction to gulp dovr
once more huge drafts of fresii
air, while Mr. Baker without un
due ceremony proceeded to im
plant in his right hand jaw a
large rjuid of homespun leaf. j
, fiut the driver was now begin
ning to yell again. "Let's go."
I What shall we do about it
was the query in the minds of
; i
the cargo of delegates.
"As for my part, "here inter
posed Mr. Flinehum, "I will ride
on top, I love the fresh air."
i It war- mpued something about
tie danger of falling off, but P.
i O. k.lived the problem by suggest
ing that Mr. Flinehum could ii»-
i down flat 011 the roof of the
Ford, an j that his legs could be
, tied by running a rope clear
around them two or three times.
1 find tieing the ends underneath,
the car.
This suited Hence fine, and lie'
again informed his fellow delc
;• gates that he was crazy about
, the air and that he so loved 1!
unpolluted and unvitiated.
! So Hence clambered up and
lay flat down, while from hi:
! waist to his feet he was tied
. fast with a strong rope that
Marion happened to have in his
trunk behind. Mr. Flinehum ex- 1
pressed his pleasure in the ar
rangement of leaving the up
per part of his body unfettered
so that if anything of interest
happened ahead he could easily
raise up and look.
Now Mr. Baker, seeing that
Mr. Flinehum was comfort a!.'..*
fixed, seemed to be slightly
jealous and envious and he, too,
declared that he would not get
inside again unless the passengers
were willing for bin; to indulge
1
hit. fondness for his l'avori:.
pastime that of promiscuously
i chewing and indiscriminately ex
pectorating.
1 As nobody seemed to be en
thusiastic over such a situation,
the whole delegation fell into a
j silent quandary, each man
vigorously scratching his head as'
if that would dissipate the ob
scurity.
' All at once a bright ide 1
seized Jerry, and with the
I
agility of a cat he jumped
; astraddle of the hood of the car,
fixed his back closelv against
1 !
the windshield, and said:
"Let's be moving, boys." ;
Everybody was delighted.
The clouds of doubt and un
certainty that had bothered the
minds of all, now flew away.
The Ford was re-loaded, the
passengers finding thcmselve*
more comfortable with the ad
ditional room provided by the
outside arrangements.
! Mr. Stevens stepped on hi.-
! gas, and the sedan moved ahead.
| The sensations of the company
were delightful.
; Towns, villages and a lovely
country were passed, and people
waved their hands and shouted
as the brilliant entourage swept
 out of fight around a curve.
1 Now a very distrosing incident
occurred to mar the universal
pleasure, when suddenly Jim Ben
nett, who had his head out the
window all the time, cried ex
citedly :
"Whar'a Hence!"
1
| Everybody looked at each
other and everybody gasped a
gasp of horror as the realization
dawned upon their stunned in
tellects:
| Hence was gone! i
Marion now remembered th:»t
ar he turned through an under
pass at Haw River he had hear 1 1
a dull bump, and thought at the
i
time it was thunder, as a cloud
|
was developing back in the west,
j "Boys, Hence has fell off. We I
must go back after him. Poor '
fellow, I hope he ain't internally
injured."
I '
Mr. Stevens did not wait Id
1
turn around, he was in too big a
hurry. So the inhabitants of
Haw River were shocked to see
a Ford coming up the loai
backwards and got out of the
way. Every car met took to tho
side ditches. j
•
Just as this fateful moment,
what was the surprise and thj
delight of our friends to see
Hence coming down the road with
his hat in his hand, puffing and
blowing like a steam engine on a
frosty morning.
The car was stopped and all
hands jumped out to embrace the
brother delegate that had been
knocked off at the underpass. As
Hence explained, he was asleep
and the impact of the overhead
bridge had struck the bottom of
his feet as he slept on his bac':.
This saved his life. He was ua*
hurt but needed a new heel on 1
one shoe. j
So the Danbury champion h ,
and corn grower was speedily ,
strapped back on the roof, and ,
as he went to sleep again, the
car went on down the road to- |
ward Raleigh.
All was serene once more.
But here another unexpected ,
and very embarassing crisis
arose when Jule Stevens sudder.- ,
ly received in his right orb j ,
spout of liquid Little Orinoco (
grown on 8-2-2 fertilizer that al
most depi ived him of his eye
sight.
There v.*as only one redeeming
feature about this most exas
perating accident, to-wit., it
showed that Jerry was entirely!
comfortable outside and that his'
' favorite diversion was function
ing.
' While bandages were being ap
plied to Jule's eye, vDmebody
| very thoughtfully closed the'
window. !
j The cavalcade was now well j
on its way, and each and every
delegate was feeling fine. As
they passed along the highway
| they met many cars all of which
, slowed down deferentially un»il I
j the Raleigh-bound Ford had pass
ed, and then the occupants look
ed back and laughed.
"Stop, stop." suddenly yelled
P. C., as he jumped out of the'
car and running around seized the j
end of a long white pennant tied
to the back of the Ford by one
end, the other floating on the
breezes. The streamer bore these
words in large black letters:
"HILL BILLIES FOR
THE HILL BILL."
The consternation and the in-'
dignation of all the delegate:
knew no bounds when they found j
they had been made the victims
of a practical joke. i
(N. B. It should be explained
here that the perpetrators of
this affront Wf re later learned to
be Harry Davis and Riley Turnei.
and that the Hag was tied on
when the car had stopped for a
moment In Walnut Cove. It was
an extreme discourtesy to the .
honorable delegates, and it is
learned that something is to be
done about it.i J (
Our friends, after they had
given full vent to their perturba- ,
tion, arranged themselves com-'
fortably again, and the journey
continued.
STOKES REPRESENTATIVES
NOTIFIED
Arriving in Burlington, a tele
gram was dispatched as fol
lows :
"To Hon. S. G. Sparger and
"Hon. Fred Folger,
"Raleigh, N. C.
"Pleased to inform you that
we are on our way and will be
your guest:) for a few days. We
congratulate you.
"(Signed)
"P. C. CAMPBELL, ,
i "Head of the Committee.".
The journey was: proceeding
satisfactorily, as Marion ran'
down the hills fast enough to j
swing him up the other side. j
When within a few miles of •
Chapel Hill, the car was chug- ]
ging along down that long
stretch, when suddenly two
State patrolmen dashed past and
getting in front of the Stokes'
outfit, slowed their machines
down to the pace which Marion
was making, and rode carefully
on ahead, just keeping within
some 20 or 30 feet in the lead.
Our boys watched the uni-
THURSDAY, FEB. 21, 1935
formed road cops awhile, remark
ing on the leisure with whicn
they travelled, just fast enough
to maintain the equilibrium of
their motorcycles, when suddenly
Jule Stevens who had looked
back exclaimed:
"Well, I'll be derned if thpr
aint two of them devils a-foller
ing us, too."
It was now observed by all
the passengers that our Stokes
car seemed to be under convoy
of the State highway patrol. Af
ter noticing that the motorcy
clists behind were also travelling
at the same slow speed of the
two in front, and that they kept
steadily within 20 feet of the
car, Marion says:
"I'm gonna stop, and see what
this means. Wc haven't stole
nothing."
So, he took his foot off tii?
gas and the car came to a stand
still. At the same time, the
patrolmen both in front and rear,
also stopped.
Marion then jumped out oa
the ground and wanted to kcj*-
what it was all about. "Why are
you fellows following us up like
this?"
"Why, we are only escorting
you as we do all funeral cars."
Captain Farmer said as he
touched his cap and smiled like
he smiles before a legislative com
mittee.
"The h said P. C., "this
ain't no funeral car."
"Why, ain't that a corpse on
top of the wagon?" Captain
Farmer inquired incredulously.
Just at this moment Hencj
raised up and glared at the dis
turbance which had awakened
him. to the consternation and
almost terror of the road cops.
Captain Farmer saw that he
was mistaken and that the per
son riding on the roof of the car
was anything but dead. So witn
very profuse apologies he and
his trio of cops raised their cacs
ar.J dashed off «!nwn the roc*.'
with the spetsd of the wind.
Happily no more disconcerting
accidents happened, and it wis
with mingled feelings of delight
and awe that our friends saw in
the distance the spires of North
Carolina's capital city glistening
beneath the rays of the setting
sun, and at 6:30 in the evening
the calvalcade rattled down
HUlrboro street.
Telephone Line
Building To Nelson's
Funeral Parlors
A telephone line is being built
from Danbury to Nelson'.*,
funeral parlors, about five miles
north toward Lawsonville. This
line is an extension of the Lee
telephone system. A pay station
will he kept by J. E. Nelson.
It is reported that citizens of
Lawsonville are interested in the
extension of the line to thas
place, which would be only two or
three miles additional.
i
Checks
L L L COLDS
0 0 0 FEVER
First Day
Liquid - Tablets HEADACHES
Salve-Nose Drops In 30 minutes
i
! Chest Colds*\
Don'l lei them get a strangle hold. Fight;
them quickly. Creomulaion combines 7 helps j
in one. Powerful hut harmless. Pleasant to;
take. No narcotics. Your own druggist i»
authorized to refund your money on th«
♦pot if your cough *i cold it not relieved by
/Jccaittd&iaa. 4