Ok
J
. HOSCOYYEK, Editor,
"HERE SHALL THE PRESS THE PEOPLE'S RIGHTS MAINTAIN, UXAWED BY iyFLUESCE AND UXBiUBED BV tJALX."
P. 1UT18, Publisher.
I VOL. I. NO. 13.
GOLDSBORO, N. C, FRIDAY, DEC. 2, 1887.
Subscription, 01.00 Per Year.
v.-
III Z w U.J'W L
t'
MILES AND TEARy.
Wy !"t if "st ith tl'-Ofe who tread
vYH-e hnr.iWer walk of life: with feet
. Tfc "ft r.ie, weary brpping bread
1 1 blistered with the dust and beat.
'.-, And a'l the etcry of my years
." Is 1 lit a tale of sroilep. and tears.
J-.r-v he earth's most favored king;.
r'l of the land and sea: .--'. ''
Tl ' lii'b. cf ef n i lime may bring
f I .', n il u ? f vtspci t to me
Y( t I1 the story of my years
; 'v". Is 1 lit a tale of nruilcs and tears.
f' i"; y he that my life hath .wroMght
I'fif. lni'hty truth frgmjehaos, when
1 he way h .is dark and mo tine sought
: .To eh or the burdened hearts of men.
-Jl Si ill. all the stor-of. my jean?
- . I but a tale of smiles and teari
. .)' matters not what rank I hold .
tj Anions the son of toil and strife,
,;pi' whether youn or whether old,
1 r-:ieh the Roal of mortal life,
'Vvi For all tltc story of my years
Ik ave a tale of siniles and tears.
'- "fl'i'V .ill the stories of my years
! -'rAic but the tales of smiles and tears.
' i Mor.r.i3 II. Turk.
iHE PINKER TON JEWELS.
WAS swinging com
fortably cn the hind
legs of my chair one
forenoon in my room
at Scotland ' Yard,
when a telegram which
had just arrived was
put into my hands,
with nn intimation
by the chief that I was
to " take up the case. "
' l iily Pinkerton, who arrived here
Un morning from London, has had her
jew ;-. stolon on the journey. Very val
uable. N due as yet. Send down
competent men at once to assist local
-poif : , -A u.krnon Wade, Aidan Castle,
y-M'olov, Northumberland."
4.i rati the message. It did not afford
ijtix it information, end it did not seem
as if there w re very much chance of re
crv( ring the stolen property. However,
it whs perhaps t'M soon to judge of that.
T t ' rrrnphed. to Si Algernon Wade,
. wji". as I understood, was Lady Pinker
0n h h st for the present, askiDg that ft
dc - ' i j '! ii n of t he missing trinkets should
f i-on'i at once; and J arranged that the
dc i!ition should be printed and cir
ch'ntfd among the pawnbrokers of the
metropolis and the other large towns of
tie country without delay. These nec
csnn v matters having been attended to,
I if t out for King? Cross, and was soon
op my way to the north. -
: h?U was late when 1 arrived at my des
tination, but I began at once to make
spun- inquiries, I 'irst of all I saw Lady
' Iiil.orton .herself. Her story was very
wjoii told. The sot of diamonds which
bfl l boon stolon consisted of a necklace,
.ff ndaiit, tiara, and earrings. The stones
weio ery line ones worth, she had
lieii fold, at least six thousand pounds.
Jt r engagements had cornpelhid her,
! sli" said, to travel down from "London
iry ii!L'ht. Her husband being in Soot
;land, shew us attended only by her maid,
.who traveled in the compartment (a sec
ond class one) next to that in which
Lad Pinkerton herself performed the
journey. T?efore leaving town she had
jven the jewel ease to her maid, re
rai tiding her as she did so of the value
tf (lie gems which were intrusted to her,
l.hd charged her not to allow the box
sow! of her sight for an instant. Aceord
irjg to the maid s aceouut, she never
had allowed .the case to Ik? out of her
Hght. yet, as a matter of fact, when
poor Alice Wright that w as the maid's
nani1 -rcaim- to open the jewel-case, it
vat empty. One or two commonplace
ornament's of little value in a lrawer in
the lower part of tha ca.se had leen brer
looked by the thieves; but the brilliaiSts
were gone.
" ' I ould.not help thinking that things
looked rather black for Alice "Wright,
and naturally asked how long she had
been in the family, and what kind of
ch'irtictcr she had brought from her
i.liist situation.
p ''Slie has ben only eighteen months
witlt me," seplied Laly Tiukerton,
f'but slu came to me with an excellent
character, and, I have every confidence
in her. Site may have contributed to
the loss of the jewels by her careless
ness, .but I will not believe for an in
uitihnt she is guilty of helping to
abstract them.."- "
? 'J Ins spcecfi pleased me and- rather
surprised me,-: It was more generous
than T had expected from Lady Pinker
ton, w ho had struck me as lieing a cold
and .-.elf-possessed woman of the worid;
,.nd I could not understand how the
diamonds could have been stolen with
out the maid's connivance. I left Lady
. J"mkei 'ton's sitting room, and asked for
an interview with the girl Wrigh I
r found lier a i-iiet, modest looking, and
realiv ladvlike young woman. There
were traces of tears on her iheeks, and
f'o t:i inbled slightly, but that was only
i::i'i;ral. I had been long enough iu the
pobco force to know that, no presump
tion either of guilt or innocence can be
interred from such signs as these.
Nov. , I'm going to nsk you a few
mhos, ions," 1 said as the girl seated her
s lt opposite mo, "and you'll answer or
n. t fs you think fit. 'it would lie no
kindness to conceal from you that a
1 1 tin suspicion attaches toyott in con
mvtio't with this affair, and therefore
it 1; my duty to caution you. If you
fiif innocent, I think your best plan
ami! be to answer frankly."
' lie girl merely bowed hr head by
way -if assent, audi proceeded to put
pjv lust question.
"You brought Lady Tinkerton's jewel
rase with vou from London?"
"1 .lid'
" The whole way.1-'
" I lie w hole way."
"W hen von g.t into the railway ear
rin''', whore did you put Hi"
"'hi the seat of the carriage, close to
me. I was loaning mv elbow upon it
Jiearlv all the wuy.''
"How many people were there in the
callage? '
' 'A good many at first seven, I think,
when wo started but most of theni left
the tram at Peterborough and the place
ve stopped at next after PpWl,nmni,
iimed at next after Peterl
" hen you got to York, how many
v io there in the compartment besides
V- n i If -
"Three an elderly man and his wife,
and one young gentleman."
"And after York?"
"The old gentleman and. his wife got
out at York. "
"And the joung gentleman?"
"He was "going to Edinburgh, he
said."
"So you and hje travelled alone from
York to Newcastle?"
"Yes; that was not my fault.
r '.'Certainly not: By the way, what did
you do with the jewel ;ase when you got"
out at-York?"'
, "I never got out at" York," answered
the girl rather sharply.
"Never crot out ?" I echoed.
"I never left the carriage, and I might J
.1 A T 1. - 1 1 1 I
almost say x never nao. my nana ur my
"He got me a cvp cf coffee.
elbow off the box from the time we left
London till we got to Newcastle. At
Newcastle Sir Algernon's carriage met
us.:"
I felt considerably nonplussed, but
concealed my thoughts, and put my
next question with an ea?y smile.
"As the young gentleman and you
were left alone together, I suppose he
performed various little acts of politeness
for you ?"
"He got me a. cup of coffee at York,"
answ ered the girl readily.
"Do vou know his name :"
"Nn.'"
"Or his business ?"
"No. He was qui'.ea c-trfnger to me."
You talked together a good ileal :"
"Yes, a good deal."
"And you told liim who you were,
and who was in the next compartment?"
""o, indeed."
"Did you say or hint that valuables
were entrusted to you i"
"Never; I am certain of it."
"After you had the coffee did you fall
asleep i"
"After we left York I remember clos
ing my eyes, but I did not fall asleep.
And T had my elbow on the jewel case
then."
"You dozed, then, or at least rested
with your eyes shut I am not blaming
you, it w as very natural ou a long night
journey--till you got to Newcastle?"
"No; till we got to Darlington."
"Did vou feel very heavy and sleep v
then ?'. "
"Not more so than usual after a night
journey."
"One more question. Tins young man
would you know him again? What
w as he like ?"
"Tall and fair, with slight whiskers
and nius'aehe. He wore a dark-gray
overcoat. I should know him again in
a moment."
Here my examination ended. Already
I had formed a theory ou the subject.
Alice Wright, I fancied, was innocent.
Her quiet, eomjKised manner had im
pressed me in spite of myself. My be
lief was that the polite young getleman
was a professional thief, that he lia 1
followed Lady rinkerton from her house
in London, that he had guessed at the
nature of the receptacle which the maid
w as guarding so jealously, that the coffee
he had brought her was drugged (so
that, instead of being in a half doze, she
had leen in a deep sleep ltotween York
and Darlington), and that the jewel case
had been opened with a pick-lock,
robbed and closed ngain while shy was
sleeping. '
Nextmiorning Lord Pinkerton arrived
at the castle, and I suggested that a re
ward should be offered for the recovery
of the diamonds or for information. To
j my surprise, the viscount seemed un
l willing to offer a substantial reward,
argued that large rewards only tempted
thieves to commit fresh robberies, and
ended 'by positively refusing to offer a
larger sum than fifty pounds for the re
covery of the jewels. I concluded that
his lordship was inclined to be stingy,
and afterward learned that he was, in
fact", a notorious miser. In his younger
days he had been very extravagant, but
about two years after his marriage he
had come into possession of a hu ge for
tune on the death of a" relative, and the
effect of his good luck was that he de
veloped, very much to Lady Pinker ton's
disgust, stroug miserly tendencies.
My next care was to make a rough
drawing of the passing jewels from Lady
Pinkerton's description. My sketch was
not by any means so accurate as I could
have wished, as her ladyship's descrip
tion was rather vague, and she seemed
to have no idea of drawing. I then
arrauged with the local police that they
should :eep Alice Wright under an in
formal surveillance, and returned to
LondoT .
Not many days after my return to town
I was informed by the Ed fuburgh police
that liiey lielieved they had succeeded
in tracing the young man who hadtnv
cllel in the same carriage with Alice
Weight on the night of the robbery.
He was staying at one of the hotels" in
tho city, and called himself Charles
Payne. The telegram added that Payne
held himself out to be a medical stu
dent, and that he seemed to he on the
point of returning to London. I replied
that a strict watch must be kept n his
movements, and shortly afterward J wa3
told that he might le expected to arrive
in London by a certain train . Of course
he was met upon his arrival bv one of
my men, who followed him to Iiis lodg
ings. I then telegraphed to Lady Pink
erton and desired her to send her maid
up to town in the company, of a police
man in plain clothes. This w as done,
and I had no difficulty in arranging that
Miss Wright and I shtmld meet Charles
Payne one morning as he left his rooms
for the day.
We passed close to him, and I watch
ed his face as we met. I had instructed
tho girl to bow slightly as he went by.
She did so, and he raised his hat with a
smile, throwing a glance at me as he
did so. There w as no doubt about his
identity. I turned round, touched him
on the arm, told him I was a detective
officer, and asked him to go back with
me to his rooms. He did so st once,
and admitted readily that ho had travel-.
led to Edinburgh on the night in ques
tion and that from York to Newcastle he
and -Alice Wright had bee'n alone to
gether in the carriage; but he indig
nantly denied all knowledge of the dia
monds. He furnished me with numerous
references and consente I that a police
man should wait with him in his room
till the references eonuld be verified.
A littlo shaken in my opinion
by .his readiness to submit to
this arrangement I called - on the
gentlemen he had named and
found that they all knew Charles Payne
and had had the highest opinion of his
integrity. One or two of themj indeed,
offered to become bail for him to any
extent. This put a totally different
complexion upon matters. Tayne was
certainly -not a professional thief, and
only a professional thief :and a very
clever one, too could have' operated
upon Alice Wright and the jewel-case in
the way my theory had supposed he had
done. There was no evidence against
the young man and I gave up the idea
of placing him under arrest. "
Six weeks passed, bringing no tidings
of the stolen property, and I had begun
to look upon the case as one of my fail
ures. Lady Pinkerton had returned to
town, and when I reported to her my
inability to recover her property she
seemed to have become resigned to her
loss.
I happened one morning shortly after
this to be in the shop of one of those
West Eud jewelers who are, in reality,
"swell pawnbrokers," when the jeweler
said to me:
"By tho way, a pair of earrings were
offered to me the other day which T
might have fancied were part of Lady
Pinkerton's set. I half thought of de
tairing the lady and sending for you."
"And why didn't you.'" I interrupted,
almost angrily.
"Because the things were not. di
amonds at all they were only paste."
"Paste! Then they can't have leen
Lady Pinkerlon's -hut are you quite
sure ?'
"Perfectly sure. They were paste, but
a very good imitation."
I pondered the matter for a moment.
Could the thief have taken out tho
stones, replaced them by imitation bril
liants, and then tried to pass off the false
stones as real ones by means of the set
ting.' Possibly; but on th other hand,
the sotting was the very thing which
any thief must have known might lead
to bin detection.
"Who ottered you the trinket5??'' I
asked.
"An elderly woman i think she was
a Frenchwoman," was the answer.
"Can vou give mo a drawing of one
of them )
The jeweller to k a pencil and sheet
of paper, and in a few minutes handed
me a sketch of an earring, which cer
tainly bore resemblance to the drawing
I had made from Lady Pinkerton's de
scription of her earrings.
I left the shop with the two sketches
in my hand, feeling somewhat puzzled.
On the wliolo, f thoaght it was worth
whiie to call on Lady Pinkerton, and:
show her the drawing which the jeweller
had made.
1 found her ladyship at breakfast in
her boudoir, attended by her maid. In
a few words I explained the object of
my visit, and then handed her the
jeweller's sketch, asking her if she rec
ognized it. The lady took it with the
tips of her fingers, and looked at it with
a supercilious air; but I could see that,
in tqiiteof her affectation of nonchalance,
she was deeply interested iu what I had
said.
"No," she said, w ith a careless air. as
she laid the sheet of paper on the table.
"There is a resemblance in shape, but
that is nothing. If the earrings were
paste, as you say, they cannot le mine;
my diamonds wi re not paste."
As Lady Pinkerton was speaking, her
maid, Alice Wright, approached tho
table w ith a cream jug in her hand, and
as she did so she glanced at the drav. itig
which lay directly under her eyes. A
look of surprise came over the girl's
face, and she seemed to be on the point
of saying something. She turned away,
however, without speaking, and at a sign
from her mistress quietly left ihe room.
I drew the conclusion, as certainly t s if
the girl had spoken, that, in her opin
oi), the drawing made by the jewelers
nearly resembled, at h ast, one of the
missing trinkets, and 1 also suspected
that her mistress was desirous that the'
girl should keep her opinion to herselL
It heomed unnecessary to me at the
time to pursue the subject further.
After all, there was nothing surprising
in Lady Pinkerton's unwillingness to
allow it to be supposed that her famous
diamonds had been nothing but paste.
Next day, however, I thought. 1 had
better see the girl and question her, and
I was on the nint of setting out for
Devonshire House Terrace, where Lord
Pinkerton lived, when I received a tol
14
r -- -ii.,
" Jin-M hrr th? si: hh."1
egiam from the officer who had leen
instructed to keep ;i watch on Alice
WrighVs moiemeuts. ' Alic? Wright
:-oems to be leaving for the eounlry.
Shall I follow her?" &aid the telegram.
"Certainly: and wire address when you
reach her destination." I replied.
That evening I h id the address, a
quiet little village in one of the Midland
eounties, and next morning I surprised
Miss Wright by presenting nvysolf be
fore her.
"What do you want with me?" she
asked, with an anxiov.s expression. "I
know nothing about the diamonds I
don't, indeed.
"I don't say you do I don't think
you do," I replied "All I want to
know is, what do you think o" this draw
ing?" (I laid the sketch I had received
from the jeweler before her as I spoke.)
"Is it a fair likeness of one of your
mistress's earrings. ,
"I don't know; it's not very like," she
anv-vcrcd slowly.
i
"You thought it very like it Tester
day," said I.
She started. "Perhaps I thought eo
at first," she replied.
It was plain thai the girl had been
told to hold her tongue.
"Why did you come down heie," I
asked.
' "This is my home." she answered
with some heat." "My mistress gave
me a month's holiday yesterday."
There was nA more to lie got out of
her, and after telling my man that ho
need not devote himself to w atching the
girl's movements aiiy longer. 1 retim
ed to London determined to clear up
the mystery if - I possibly could.
Whether the diamonds wcro real or
uot.
After some little thought I resolved
to visit every one of the diamond merw .
chants in the metropolis. I argued that
if the Frenchwoman (who, as I believed,
had had one of Lady "?inVjertorc's ear
rings in her possession) had taken out
the real diamonds and substituted paste
ones she would hardly make a second
attempt to pass them off as real ones;
but if she had leen ignorant of the real
character of the brilliants, it was more
than likely that she would try. to get
another opinion as to their true value.
With this idea in my head I visited one
diamond merchant's shop after another,
till at last I found a man in a. quiet
street off IIollorn who remerrdicred an
elderly Frenchwoman calling and show
ing him a pair of earrings, just alv-ut
the time when the West' End jeweller
had had the trinkets offered to him,
"Was it any thing like this?" I asked,,
producing the, sketch which the jewel
ler had made for me.
"That is very like it, aa far as I re
member," was the answer "The lady
said she did not want .to part with the
earrings, - she only wanted to know
whether the stones were real or not."
As the diamond merchant was speak
ing the door opened, aud a short, stout
woman,' dressed in blade and wearing a
thick black veil, entered the room.
The jeweller threw me a glance as he
went forward to meet Hie stranger.
You were so very kind," sin began,
speaking with a slight French accent,
"as to give me an opinion about a trink
et a short time ago. Will you be so good
as to tell me whether these stones are
real ?" As she spoke tihe laid a cross of
brilliants om tho table. I just glanced
at it. It corresponded exactly to the
description I had had of Lady Pinker
ton's diamond pc'ndant. The diamond
merchant took 't ne cross.
"They nre only paste," said he, after
a moment's glance at the orn:im.etit. "I
never saw lietter imitations, but not one
of these stones is real."
The lady seemed greatly dit-nrpoiuted.
She thanked the jeweller and left the
tdiop. Of course I followed her home,
and arrested her on her own doorstep.
She was, I found, Madame Brancilieau,
a fashionable dressmaker. In una of
her Ihvxth I found a whole set of dia
moud ornaments necklace, pendant,
tiara arid carrincs. complete.
Madame; Brancilieau burst into tears
and loudly protested her ignorance, but
refused to give anyaeeonnt of the jewels
until she amis convinced that we meant
to take her to the police station. Then
the whole truth came out. The orna
ments had b-HMi given her by Lady
rinkerton herself ! Her ladyship had
found it impossible to array herself as
became a woman of fashion iqon the
very '-lender allowance which she re
ceived from her husband for that pur
pose and had run up a tremendous 1 ill
at Madame Braucilleau'a.' The dress
maker, who had lost money in wnnc
foolish investment: she hail made,
pressed the lady fr payment. Lady
Pinkerton was at her wils' end. Shu
dared not let her- husband know of her
extravagance, and, as she did not 1h
lievo that he would pay her debts, it was
little use in applying to -him, ."At last,
on the. very day of her starting for
Northumlxrland, she gave the jewels to
the dressmaker in payment of her debt,
the French .woman undertaking to dis
pose of the stones separately. Thus the
; trinkets had never" Ken' in the jewel,
case at all, and-Lad.yT'iiikerton gave out
that she had been robbed, in- order fb ii i
eount to her husband and the world for
the loss of her diamonds.
: Lady Pinkerton was astounded to
dicar that her diamonds were nothing
; but paste; and after some trouble she
had persuaded lnadarAe to submit the
eudanttoan expert . ;for examination:
That, at least, she thought, might be
real.';
On hearing this "story I took the
French woman and the false, diamonds
straight to "Lord rinkerton's house. His
lordship and Lady Pinkerton were to
gether. I expected a scene; but the lady w as
equal to the occasion. iSlie went straight
to thcheart of the matter. "' -
"John," she said, speaking to her
husband, "you must have sold -my.' Jw
monds and had paste put in the: r phu-e:
soon after ve were innrriejd, "Lord Fink-
ertou started, blushed violently, and
Baid nothing. Yon really .ought to have
mentioned it, and theu all this fnss
would have been saved. I think- Ihe
best tiling you can do now is to pay this
good woman's bill, and give poor Wright
ii check for fifty pounds, as some eo,in
jiensation for the trouble we have binm
the means of causing lier. Oh yes, I
insist on it. Don't go, madame, aud
Lord Pinkerton will write you a check."
Of course his lordship could lutt af
ford to let the story get abroad, so (after
a severe inward struggle)- he did. as ho.
was told. Shortly afterward Lady Pink
erton blazed forth in a splendid M t of
rubies, which, the. f aid, her husband
had 1 teen so very kind as to give her in
lieu of hi r lost, diamond-:.
As for me, I pot my fifty, pounds and
was satisfied. T nndcrslood now why
his lordship had been so unwilling to
offer a rew ard for tie recovery of his
wife's diamoiid?. Yfii.t?iU. Ilcrietr.
A H'r !. .
A writer recommends the appoint
ment of an oxjiert in all banks, who wjll
lie capable of taking the place and doing
the work of any man iu the oo-.i.-ern,
from the president down. He is to lw
cnqxiwered to say to the proident or
eishier, "I v. id go over your rssets to
day," or send the telhr or other em
ployee on. a short vacation at any time,
while he takes his plac By this plan
r.o one would dare nb-ti act a dollar from
the bank, as he eoul l not tell at what
moment the expert would examine h's
hocks imd di: cc.e" the r.ho: ta;,'-.
THE-. JOKER'S BUDGET.
STRAY BITS OF III 3IOIX 1 01X0
i:; our uxciiangus.
A Maiden's 3Iistake A Slow Few
Solomon's Children Etfnvyer
mid Creditor, etc.
NO COCRAOE.
"You sar, Mr. Smith," said the girlw
1 in a low, thoughtful, this-is-a serious -
matter sort of toue. "that you hav
loved me for riv years an l have nexeir,
dared to tell me so until to-night ?"
.-"Yes," he replied.
"Well, I cannot lie your 'W'c. A maia
"who has no more couragiT than tha'.
would feign to bo asleep while bmg-1
lav stole his baby's sh(xs." ':
v '!! H- 4i 1 1 t- r ,ijr j
THE OT,T HT1S J
Mr. BlobbR-Mariah, hadn't I belter
take that hen to market? j
Maria h She's liout 40 years old,.
Zeke, an' I'm afraid she'll spoil onrij
t 11 ... kl . .1 41...-. "
irnue. Jeiier luuiiv up wiue uuin my
of getting rid of her."
"I might give it to the editor in pay
ment ef our subscription." 1
"I paid that yesterday in lat.t year's
turnips."
"Well, we'll f-ave her for tho next
donation party." Omn.hu W'orll.
II E KU.TED 'em.
of our country towns who was noted)
more for the various means to wh ch h j
resorted to earn a living than for hi j
veracity. At one time it happened that. I
he was peddlie.g fish, and his cry sum -
moiied a very particular old lady to tho j
nide of the wagon. J
"Are thes- fish fre:,h?" she asked, j
viewing the tinny representatives with
suspicion. j
"Yes, m: caught this very morion"," j
was the. reply. I
"Are vou sure?" she continued. iri inn I
'the load sundry pokes. "They all seem
to le dead."
"Dead?" echoed the vender "dead?
Yes, ,'nv,.they are dead. They wuz o
lively when I left 'home that I had tcr
kill 'em to keep "em from jiimpin outer
ther wagon." H'tr-r llniir.
M!SVMKKSTOOI.. '
The importance of a distinct m nida
tion in ringing, was well illustrated in a
Sunday-school .recently. ,Tshe. scholar!
frequently sing: Vi, .,
"Pass along the wv;tc!twVrd", shout as
you go, -T n.' ''
Victory ! victory, over every foe !
A little girl of live years, coming for
the first time' to Sun'day-school, 'was
greatly pleased with the-fdnging of this
hymn When she reaehed home i-he
wiid :
"Mamma, they sang such a. funny
song at Sunday-school to day !'
"'What was it?" asked her motirer.
"O, they sang, 'Pass along tin? wash
rag,' and they kept saying it over and
over." Yontfi Cuipin'n.
T.AWYE5. AND CASHIER.'
A bank cashier, who. laid stolen $50,
000 from the bank and skipped out to
Cincinnati, went to a" lawyer and said:
"How can I fix matters : so as to be
safe from law!" . .. .
", "Twill arrange to haw the bank set
Hc'for'half ho amount, "was the prompt
"reply. ' -.
When this had lieeji. done the thief
expixssed his 'great pleasure aiid satis
faction and; inquired :
,'ud now w hat shall I pay you for
your services ?" . ' '"'- '
""The other half, sir," was'.the calm
replv. . ' V ' ''
Moral: It ivi a wonder the lawyer left
w much for the Jmnk. Atinnt-t Vonti
t!Uin. ,r
A OKKAT l'liACK.
She stood in the press room of a coun
try daily, where the agile "fly" of the
press was shipping down the papers with
admirable precision. She was a moth-erly-lookiug
creature, with a blue cct
r ton umbrella. -
"That 'nV delivers -the pa'jiers at the
rate of 1,500 an . houiv" . . modest ly 're-'
marked tho proud .proprietor. '
, "Fifteen hundred an hour !" the ex
claimed. "Mercy on us ! You don't
mean it! ' And then, moved by moth
erly instinct, she added: "What a
place to spank a baby !" Sinn rillc
Iviriml. - . .
a -Vanish ror,irici.v.
"That's a nice dog you have. Dr.
Horn, but what's the matter with his
eves one is blue aud the other is
Mack;" - ' "
"Yes; he was sired by a tan terrier
and dammed by a sky-blue terrier and he
takes a mean advantage of the fact
w ht necr I have a stranger to dine with
', "nus . .
- "How's that.'" . ' , '
"He first, gets feu fit one side of my
guest and then goes round the. table t
his other side and pi t tends to I o an
other dog." Uiftfinn-i'i TeV-ffooH.
Al Xi THI;: RVE THETR t."isKf,.,' '
Philosopher Ver,' there- are many
useless things in uature. A pig's tail,
for -instance, is of i.o use at all.
"Pntvi.-k Vo ii m in iil 'vi'Z ! Kov'f Did
yez iver sa v a pig ? : '" ''
- "Ob, yes." V .
Did yo;'cvcr fJn V'lo drive a pig into
a new eh i'" '
"No." - - "'- :: ' - "-
"Ye Ihry it some day.. .The tail waz
made to take hold, of an', pull. Thin
tho baste thinks yez is thryiujf .to. pull,
him out ov the peii an' iu" he leaps."--
Oavihi Wot I?.-
A MAIDEN'S JlfSTAKS.
BrideDid you " receive the piece of
wedding cake I Lent yen.' '
:. Schoolmate Yes, dear.
T "Now, tell me what kind o! a hns-
j hand you dreamed about."
f T Ann' lil-o tn tolV nhnilf if TTf
was an awfnl creature, with hoofs and
horns and the most horrible face that
I .you could imagine. Oh, it was ter-
Tible."
' "Mercy meP Did you put the cake
under your pillow?"
"No, I ate it ." Oni'tha World.
IOH, GEORGE!
"George, dear," said Naomi, "I am
j afraid you are too industrious in your
J effetrte to win enough money to obtain
t papa's consent. Your health will break
under it."
"Too industrious! Why, I don't work
very hard."
I "UJi, yes, you do.
"How do you know V
"Why, I heard papa say to-day tliat
i you were carrying an awful load last
night." Lincvln Jour mil. '
THE KCIJXO PASSIOV.
"Pa, Won't yon give me a new dress?
I vant one so much ?''
"I'll speak, to your mother aliont. it.
The child's wistful expression was
turned into disappointment.
"Surely, mamma will know if it's
necessary."
"Yes," replied the ehild, demurely,
"I sup pose eo. But when you 8eak
to her, touch her easy, lapa, or she might
want one for herself." Term Sifting . ,:
JCST FEEBIkE ENOUGH. . :
Snaith-You look n. lit tie mussed up,
Brow n. , r "
Brown x should fay so! I've just
had a row with my mother-in-law, and
I'll be hinged if she didn't put me out
of the house. The house belongs to
her, you know.
Smith You told me a day or two age
that your mother-in-law was very feeble.
Brown -Yes; I meant feeble Jor her.
Iltdjti'H iPtZ'tr.
. AOAINST HIS M'It,r.
Acouvictcl burglir was brought lie
fore Judge Cowing of the N. Y. Court
of fieneral Sessions for sentence, and in
response to the usual question, replied:
"I w as forced to be a burglar, Youi
Honor. I did it against my will."
"Did it against your will, eh ? Well,
you shall have no cause for t amplaiut.
You shall go to Sing Sing, against youi
will. Five years." 7V,r.e Sitin fin.
ki;e scomhno iiad no effect.
Mistress Why can't yo;i remember,
Bridget, when I tell you a thousand
times ' I dbn't like alrfays to lie scold
ing you for forgetting.
Amiable but forgetful Domestic
Faith, mum, you d-'n't r-m!-'.. It's quite
ph asanl you are, nnim. The last lady
I lived wid used to come out into the
kitchen and stamp her feet, aud throw
things at me. ILirp r, Buzur.
SOMK tiOOD ADVKX.
"John," said his wife, "don't yon
spend more than you ought for lunches
down town? I can't understand how it
is that the money slips away as it does! "
"No, in' dear, I eat (hie) freo lunch
nearly ev'ry day."
"Well, 1 wish you would give up free
lunches, John. They cost yon more
than we can afford."
WORKS HOTH WAYS.
"Which is the lietter weather for youi
business," was the question put to a
down-town bartender, "hot or cold.'"
"It doesn,t make much : difference,1
was the reply. "In hot weather they
take a little something to ciol 'cm off,
and in cold weather they tako a little
something to warm 'em up."
OF NO CSE TO HIM.
Customer (getting measured) How
much are these trousers going to cost
me?
Tailor Two y-two dollars, Mr. How
many pockets do you want in them?
Customer None, i won't need any
jiockcts when I have paid for the
trousers. N. Y. Sun.
ms POLITICS.
Chance acquaintance What Are your
politics, sir ?
Seedy Man (with a wistful look alxuit
the mouth) When I'm talking with a
Democrat, I'm a Lalior party man, and
when I meet a Republican I'm a Prohi
bitionist. lli'.iiiinjtoii Free I'm.
ITS EFFECT.
Young Mr. Sissy (to his pretty cous
in) I say, Maude, how did my song,
"Home Again from a Foreign Shore,"
impress the company?
Frctty Cousin Well, sor..; of tlietu,
Charley, looked as if they were sorry
you had got Inick.
WELIj ENOrUH.
Wife (to husliand) I caught Bridget
starting the lire this morning with ker
osene, John.
Husband How much do we owe her?
Wife Four months' wages.
' Husband Well, let her go on with
the kerosene.
i'::;ec kssaky anxiety.
"George," she said, anil her manner
betrayed anxiety, "what lias come over
papa of late? He treats you coldly and
evjdeutly tries to avoid you."
"He Inirrowed $10 of :,' a couple of
weeks ago," explained George. .V. Y.
... . EOIUJ TH T WAY. -
. - Earbtr (to customer) YV.i " :re quite
bald, sir.
.' Customer t who i:-n't conversationally
inclined, Yes. sir, I was liorn that
way.
. the fikz..
'First Citizen-(lKicathlcKsly; Can you
tell here the tire in ?
Second Citizen I think it is the
Rcltoollioiii'iP. ': There were a lot of lnvys
dancing and rhecring down on the cur-iiLX.I!'nih'f'jittr(Frm.-
'
. ' ' .f,- FOB' A YEAE. ", . .. , '"
'" Wifeione day :aterr marriage) No,
dear, 1ch t-give'ine any money; I might
lose it., '' - .
Same Wife (one-'year after marriage)
I tiok twentv dollars from vo'..r.pocV
eh List bight, 'c-'-u. . ' V
S"ii.
TELEGRAPHIC TICKS.
Th News of tha North, Eaat, South
and West, Reduced io Tacts
An lnterestlas Ra4et fmr mmr .Bur
Reader.
A tiro at Wheeling, West Virginia,
destroyed several railroad and telegraph
office. Loss $10,000.
A Itoilcr exploded at Prescott, Arizo-.
na, killing the proprietor and five woik
men and injured a number of others.
Knima Lazarus, the wcC-kuown . jo
ctcss and translator is dead. ' - - t
One hundred representatives of tb W.
C. T. U.. called upon Mr. Polk at
Nashville, Tcnn.
Dispatches from Memphis, Tvun., rc
jtort serious damage in . the surrounding
country by forest tires.
A const mot ion train on the Cleveland
and Pittsburg Railway ran Into a rock
slide near Steulienville, Ohio, and the
engineer and a brakeman were killed.
Some Germans in North Adam., Mm.,
ran np the American riag at half must.
j Citixiia.cumjelled them to. remove the
. Chicago's determined young girl Nina
Van Zandt is believed to be dying. Food
has not passed her lips since Anarchist
Spies was hanged
Material has arrived in Greenwood,
S. C, for the building of a new dejiot for
the Columbia and, Greecviile Railroud.
Mr. T. L. Holland, of An'Ierfcoa Coun
ty, S. C, this year made 450 ponnds of
liut coltou tn ouc-cighth of aa ucr-3.
The Railway Passenger snd Freight
Conductors' Mutual Aid and Be.n3l Aa-MM-iution
is holding its thirteenth unsunl
Convention in Chicago.
Bud Veal, who has eben un trial at
Atlanta, Ga., charged with kiinDg' C. D.
Uoriie, the contractor of the Slate cupi
tol, has been acquitted.
The city of Fort Wayne, lad., with a
m ipulat ion of 40,000, seems to 1. about
to experience the horror of a 'water fam
ine. Tillmau C. Justice was handed hi
Taw ucs County, Ga., for the murder of
J. B. Goddard". He susjiccted liis victim
of .reporting illicit still.
An unknown negro fell frmi the ten
der of a freight train at Greenwood. !.
C, and was killed by the cms posing
over him. The tender was thrown from
the track in pHssing over the body.
At Shelton. S. C, on the Spurt aubur?
and Union Road, T. C. Miliary, of
Kingstrcc, a flagman of the passenger
traiu, stepped of the trestle iu the dark
ness. He fell thirty-five feet and re-.
ceived severe and jwiuful injuries. He
wan carried to Columbia in an uncon
scious condition.
The .steamer Guy andotte, of the Old
Dominion line, collided lietween Norfolk
and New York on Thursday night vith
an unknown schooner. The steamer w as
damaged to the extent of f 1,000. Noth
ing4 has been heard of the schooner.
The Chester County, S. C, poor-house
in which there are 14 whites and 16 col
ored inmates, has a furni connected with
it, which this year produced ?,000 bun
dles of fodder; 4,000 pounds -f hay; 7."
bushels of peas; 4 bales of cotton and
about COO bushels of corn; and on the
farm are 3 nmlea, 10 head of cattle, 22
head of hogs, one two-horse wagon and
one one-horse wagon.
Application will Ix made to the next
South Carolina Legislature for a charter
for the Norfolk and New Orleans Rail
road. This U the WinnsboroY Wadm
lioro and Camack, Railroad which has
been agitated for some time. The road,
is proposed will cross the Savannah River
at or near its section by an air line drawu
from Camisck, Ga. and Wadesboro', N. C.
It w ill then run in the direction of Alston,
through the granite quarries of Fairfield,
through or near Winnslioro', crossing the
Catawba River at or near the Gnat Falls.
It will thn cross the North Carolina
line in the direction of Wadesboro'. The
distance by an air line through South
Carolina is about 140 mile?.
The Work or the Flam's.
At 'Z.'-iO o'clock in the morning fire
started in the carjienter shop of the Cin
cinnati Southern Railway at Ludlow,
Ky., aud spread with great rapidity,
owing to the lack of water and the fct
that Ludlow has no fire ' department.
The immense car and machine .shop,
covering two acres of ground, were to
tally destroyed, together with all the
tools and machinery, and a large num
ber of cars and material. The round
house caught fire, and it was at first
thought to be doomed, but by the hen ic
efforts of the ernnlovees the cr.gines in it
were removed, r.n'i the building iiae'i!
avcd. Anioug the leva' s crv ft Hurm
lioudoir car. a pay c?r, two Pulhr.Ma
(niR. three passeagcr corciiC3. s-.vtr. f.fatf-,
loaded with coal, and twenty-five new
freight ears. About 500 employees 1:1
In thrown out of tmploymeor. It will
require. a lug time to rebuild th burred
property.
Careful estimates of the totalled njakc
it $ ll-j.OOO. It is fully iasured ia two
Loudon comjianies. .
Ludlow i.i Miiall village on the Ken
tucky side of the Ohio River, oppowtn
the western art of. Cincinnati, nrd
mt-i-ily dt'ie ndent ou the 6outkrft Rail
way fchops.f'Ji- tij'loym,nt W its inhab
itant. He Hal Nothing Jtvn ! Sy,
"I hate to hare you leave u" said thu
old father to his dawgh.ee,' who wa
abmt to bs martieJ.
"Why, fnthcr?"
'Because I ainot lieli harin Kom
apprehensions aliout your future'
"IJiit yon know there is very rarely a
wedding without alissgi irg.'
And then her old father parted frnni
her withmt a murmur. .Vmlw.'-
Trateler. ;'
Sumatra has a flower which grows to
nine feet in circumference aad weighs
fifteen pounds.