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T. KOSCOWER,-Editor, " HERE JSIIALL TIIE 'PRESS TIIE PEOPLE'S RIGHTS MAINTAIN, UNAWED BY INFLUENCE AND UNBRIBED BY GAIN." TV. P. DAYIS, Publisher.
( VOL. I. NO. lsT"" r GOLDSBORO, N. C, FRIDAY, JANUARY. 0, 1888. Subscription, 61.00 Per Year.
i , , . . ;
IJ E STORY OF ALICE AYRES.
)Fe sea Low wretched are the parts
Flayed by misloa lcrs of the State,
1 fivl within our echoing lieart3
The fitf p of an advancing Fato.
fee! England's Bun may set, alas !
I Mcy set iu gloom, nor rise again;
tier j roud name, like a shadow pass
Ont of the tliou jh :.; anl words of men.
Still there is niiul: not lnr:i to die ;
O.cat dec-Is e m never bo undone,
I Their splcn lor yet ri'ist fill our sky
Like sors, onfia:-.ti:i;; even the sun ;
Jen thousand years may come and go,
Lot no: to inovo them from their place ;
Inroti'u them e- lands will learn and know
I "Why Cod ciioe 6-ar.eJ the English race
p.-.r chi (Iron's eliiUren shall repeat
i IIott, with a half unconscious thrill,
ll:c noMe pulse of duty heat
f In simple hearts, an I armed the will,
who rat love d ar England well,
Vllast rise and link our hearts with theirs,
"Jtrehance htill living on to tell
. Of tliose who died-liko Alk-o Ayrcs.
Ju.-m (1. fds art- England's soul, and we,
I ToK.-ing aside t;u!i idler rhyme,
Should pour forth song to keep them free
From the concealing dust of time,
iio trie 2-:.-i cf stylo will this require ;
I Such stories should he plainly told ;
-'jCcni nvvcr lose their strength or fire,
"5 Though tinsel settings may grow old.
The liei-vena are clear and calm, when lo,
A sudden v. i.-t-riiigs throngli the night ;
-".Men gather, hunying to and fro,
"With quivering lip-s and faeis white ;
. iA sin.il', mean house bursts forth in flame ;
f Within crash down the burning stairs ;
- 'Atid, like a picture in her frame,
4 Stands at the window Alice Avres.
4lOome down, come down," -all cry aloud,
"We have the means to break your fall."
..' the does not seem to hear the crowd,
" And gives no answer to their call.
" 'jTrhtn firm, that evil hour to meet,
- '1. She forces through the narrow pano,
"- goft clothes and bedding on the street,
j Retires, and straight returns again.
.-.."iA sleeping bahe is in her arms,
AY horn, with a wahhful hand and head,
Vrroteetiug from all risks and harms,
g She ih-oj)s i:i safety on the bed.
i Mlowly she step; luck, in that gloom
!j Of strangling sui !-:o to disappear,
iiThenee dragging from lier instant doom
i An older girl, who shrieks with fear.
..J 'Come down, ccane down," the shouts rise high,
: . 'S'onic down, or every hope is gone ; '
3; Save, save yourself," at length they cry,
r. . "Enough for others have you done."
.'i'i'JJut no! there is a third one yet,
vj-js Death therefore m ist be faced once more ;
; .j The star of duty will not set
1'er her till tlu whole work is o'er.
.Ad en lod now -slio raig'ifc have timo
Upon herself a look to east ;
But tilled with that one thought sublime
' fiod wills that it should be her last.
.; JV'itli feet astray and reeling brain,
'S Choked breath, dol'e-d ears, and darkened eyes,
Blio staggers onwar.l. but in vawi ;
','Y-l It is too late she falls and dies. '
; rf'And who was Alice Ayres ?' yon ask :
:? A household drudge, who slaved all day,
' viiose joyless years were one long task,
' On stinted food and scanty pay ;
put neither hunger, toil nor care
'..j. Could e'er a selfish thought instill,
' r qucne'i :i spirit born to dare,
.2 Or freeze that English heart and will.
?
As we are well told, it is true
That England's worth may thence be shown,
:That men and women, not a few,
.' Like A! ice, should bo better known.
" Enrich," some say, "this golden year
(That no such legend we may lose)
JBy building up their statues hero."
- fco be it! if the people choose.
,But, cold and dead in all men's sight,
A statue moulders and decays,
: 5Yhi'.o soulless hirelings often blight
Grand hero names with formal praise.
, &o! Alice and her partners call
..4 Eor.that v.-hioh eh sels cannot give ;
1 cif-s:idptiired on the minds of all,
I Bu.-U memories should not waste, but live.
' jfcet cabined hirc narrow place,
A local boast, a mere street token ;
ri But, 'ike the air, diffused through space,
Si So ng a-3 English words are spoken ;
;aTo he. drawn la with each new breath
f: Where red and Wi.r.n the old biood runs,
; "And 'r the wile world crmqnering death,
j-f, Shaied thus I rcver 17 our sons.
rl F. II. Doyle
i
At Flageolet,
jll'vS. TOMTKIXiJ I'KEES II ER MIND CON
I'EKXING HUH VACATION.
3 a very well for
I Cyrus to say I am
particular, but it id
no such thing. I have
noticed that men al
Wiiys have some dis-
V v''V' r'-; nay about their wives,
1 iSC vi" ''i&Sik- !llu this is the staple
I 1 VVi''" iM'J against me,
;sT Jf. " which lie brings for-
'r1:-- ward as an offset to
, l p.Ksl'idc shortcomings of his own.
Kot that I can sec that it excuses
Cyrus for staying out till morning, or
peing on in that scandalous way with
jAVidow Yc.iton, if I were particular, ln
fismuch as lie ought iu thr.t case to bo
luore careful of my feelings, one would
lliiuk it made his conduct worse, rather;
but there is never any use in arguing
ithaman. Men nevr can compre
ond a woman's reasons, and they always
- tike refuge in a tangle of words that
Uiey call logic, as if that meant anv-
hing.
However, when Cyrus declared that
I went to Flageolet for the summer I
mhl lievr find anything to suit me, I
:tH so particular. T flrmlv ih-.)ovrtnnoi"
it if I (lid t'm.1 nnvthirnT nof tn -mxr
.AJdi1, he should lo none the wiser; and
Ilmvo kept my resolve so steadfastly
Ihnttlie 4..Vort has nearlv killed me.
I ye written to sister Emma and John's
u. just what i -iiouohtof the place,
vA one day, when Mrs. Malnnn wn
orse tliaa iioual, 1 even relieved my
:elings by writinir a loner letter r!,-,o
i Matilda, an.l Inever did like Cot-biti
iat. ela. jjnt to Cyrus I have used just
e phrase, and I have bo?un everv lf-
)er 1 haye sent to him with the very same
words: "The place and the people hera
are absolutely delightful." If that doea
not suit him it does not at least give him
a chance to grin at mo with hia nasty,
"I told you so."
But it is a lie all the same, and my
conscience pricks me so much when I
write it that one rainy day I counted up
the letters I should have to write him
before I go home and 6et the words
down on that numter of sheets, so that
it docs not have to bo put down any
more than the name of the hotel print
ed on the paper.
The truth is I hate Flageolet. I hate
the house and the people and the things
we have to eat and the two 6tains on the
ceiling of my room and the noise the cur
tain makes when it goes up and the
wreck down on the shore and Miss Simp
son's twitter and the twin Clark girl's
pink gowns and most of all I hate yes,
with all malice and uncharitableness I
hate Mrs. Maloon. A. -
I don't object to some of the boarders
at Flageolet if only they were in their
own homes and I should never have to
see them, but Mrs Maloon I should do
test if she were in the moon, and if I
live toget away from the place without
telling her so it will be nothing short of
a miracle and a proof that there is not a
woman in the world with a more even
temper than I have. I know I shall
have to let her know it in some way, and
although I am too polite to show it in
any way, I should never be happy
again if I thought she did not strongly
suspect how I feel.
II. -
Flageolet was recommended to me as
a nice, quiet boarding- louse which
would only hold a score of people, and
where one met only nice people; and
the first woman I spoke to turned out to
be the wife of a green-grocer! That
would be nuts for Cyrus Tompkins if he
only knew it, but he never will, thank
heaven ! They say a woman never can
keep a secret, but I've time and time
again proved to Cyrus that that was
nonsense by telling him things he had
never for an instant suspected, I'd kept
them so quiet.
Alii
"Mrs. Xutl isuH a bad-looking woman."
Mrs. Nutt isn't a bad-looking woman.
She has a little cast to her ej-es and her
conTplexion is a littlo sallow, I must
own; but sho has really elegant dia
monds, auel her dresses lit like a duck's
foot in the mud. I thought at least that
her husband must lie a "doctor or a law
yer. I quite took to her, and we sat on
the piazza a whole hour the very first
dny I was here and she never said a
single word to put me on my guard.
She never even .alluded to her husband's
business; and I might have bought cab
bages of her husband any day, if I would
buy anything that smells the house up
so when they are cooking. I cannot
conceive how anybody can be so deceit
ful. If Mrs. Maker hadn't told me that
very evening, goodness only knows
when I might have found out the dis
graceful truth. For my part, I do not
see why the wife of a green-grocer wants
to go to the seashore in summer for any
way. She must know she'll be mistaken
for her betters; and very likely that's
what she goes for !
I was cool enough next day, of course,
but I couldn't be downright rude to her,
staying right there in the same house;
and besides she had offered to teach me
a new crot-het stitch, and 1 did want to
learn that before I gave her up entirely.
But it did go against my grain to be
civil to her after the way she had de
ceived me. For my part I must say I
like honesty.
She came to me after breakfast and
acted as if she had always known me,
but I was on my guard. That sore of
people alva3's presume on any liberties
you allow them. I let drop in my con
versation that my husband was the pro
prietor of one of the best livery estab
lishments in Boston, and could see that
she felt the difference in our social po
sition at once; and she has . kept her
place pretty well since, though she does
twinkle her diamond earrings in a way
that is perfectly maddening. I will not
live another winter without diamonds,
and I am a woman of my word. I said
to Mrs. Maker, when Mrs. Nutt couldn't
help overhearing me, that I didn't bring
any of my best jewelry with me because
I didn't think the seashore was the place
for display. I flatter myself she felt
that. But it is positively indecent for
me to go od wealing trumpery old
cameos and amethysts when every wo
man of our set doesn't even go clown
town ill a horse-car without real ' dia
monds in her ears. This summer I made
them think I have them at home; . but
next summer I'll hive them and wear
them, or my name isn't Abigail Tomp
kins. Mrs. Maker isn't much better than
Mrs. Nutt. though she gives herself
great airs because she has a purple cash
mere tea-gown trimmed with white lace
ami iridescent liead passementerie. I
really believe that woman prays for
foggy weather so that she can sit round
all day in that purple tea-gown; and the
way she wastes her t ime pulling out the
lace and smoothing it down is really sin
ful. I've made three complete tidies for
the church fair next winter just while
she's been dawdling in that tea-gown
doing absolutely nothing. I'j- I was
taken up with my clothes, I'd at least
try not to make it so evident to every
body. If she had a better figure, she'd
wear something else anyway, and as for
her pretending that dress came from
London, I don't believe a word of it.
Thank Heaven, I haven't got to the
place yet where I have to deceive people
about my clothes.
IV.
As for the young ladies of the house,
as they call themselves, if there is one
of them who will ever see thirty again,
then I don't know. The twin Clark
girls go about with their arms around
each other's waist and pretend to bo
dreadfully affectionate, but I've heard
them quarreling in their room, and the
week that Mrs. Ma-loon's son was here
they were ready to devour each other
from sheer jealousy, the nasty minxes.
As if he didn't know a lady when lie
saw one.
"They are mm old gals," he said to
me one day down on the beach, "but if
one of 'era did catch a feller, myl
wouldn't the other make the fur fly 1"
Mr. Maloon was a gentleman, every
inch of him, and of course they couldn't
impose on him. They were as jealous
as death of me, just because he enjoyed
my society, and said I was trying to
flirt with him, when the only pleasure
I've had this whole abominable summer
was the little time I had a chance to
talk with him. It is such a relief to
talk to a real live man after you've been
shut up for a month with a house full
of women, and of course he wanted to
chat with a woman who had ideas.
Then Miss Simpson set her ep for
him, and she is tho scrawniest old maid
I ever set eyes on. I told Mrs. Maloon
I pitied her because her back was crook
ed and she had to have false teeth, and
all the reward I got for being benevo
lent was that she told me I'd better take
somebody who wasn't half a century
younger the next time I wanted to have
a flirtation. The nasty huzzy I But
then, one never does get any reward for
being kind to such creatures. :
V.
Jim Maloon is one of llio handsomest
fellows I ever set my eyes on. I just
wish Cyrus could have seen tho atten
tion he paid me, and then perhaps ho
might have got some idea what I sacri
ficed when I married him. It was
really pitiful to see the flutter the Clarks
and Miss Simpson wero in just at the
news that ho was coming, and when
they saw what a lovely man he was their
silly heads were really turned till they
didn't know which end they were on.
Mrs. Maloon is a widow, and she says
her husband died of yellow fever at New
Orleans; but if he did, I'd wager a pile
that he went there to get out of the
reach of her tongue. Of all tho she-
dragon termagants that ever drew the
breath of life, she is the worst; and I'd
like to see her old crooked noso put out
j of joint by a daughter-in-law as bad as
herself . Indeed, 1 u like to have J lm turn
Mormon and marry twenty wives with
the tempers of as many hyenas, and
bring them all homo to live with his
mother. If I was her daughter-in-law
she'd soon get over supposing she was
going to run this universe.
Jim always called her tho old woman
to me. He was awfully funny in the
way he'd go on about her. He'd pre
tend he was afraid of her, and make me
laugh so my side3 would ache
He used to tell mo how she
scolded him for taking mo out rowing
and going to walk en tho lieach in the
evening, and at last if tho old harridan
didn't open on me herself.
She came stalking along the piazza
one morning, just after breakfast, and I
knew by her looks that she meant mis
chief. I was scared, I admit, but I am
not the woman to be put down by a doz
en Mrs. Maloons, ami I kept my face as
placid as ever.
"Good morning," said I.
"Good morning," said she, as grim as
a tombstone. "I wanted to speak to
I you. ....
"lm nattered, im sure, said 1,
smiling, as innocent as a baby.
"Humph!" says eld Mother Maloon.
"I want to know what you mean by
your silly carryings on with my son."
"When I have been carrying on with
your son or anybody else," I llung out,
"it will be? time enough for those who
have the right to ask what I mean; but
that won't bo you."
"Tou're old enough to be hi.s mother,"
said Mrs. Maloon.
"Then you're a good deal too old," I
answered her back, with my blood get
ting up.
"He's a fool," his mother kept on,
"but you needn't think he's such a fool
that he cares for you any more than to
amuse himself at the expense of your
vanity. I sent for him because he was
ia mischief somewhere else. Now I've
got to send hira away localise you don't
know how to behave yourself."
"You'd better put him in bibs and
lock him up iu the nursery once for all,"
said I. "I don't. wonder he seems young
enough to you to let you do it."
She looked at me as if she'd like to
eat me, and then she said with an ugly
glitter in her hard old eyes:
"At least I am young enough' to wear
my own hair."
" ' want to know tnhal you mean by your silly
carryings on with my son?' "
How the old cat knew that my hair
waa not my own is beyond me. I'm
sure the match is perfect, and I do man
age to cover up the edgo of my toopee
so cleverly that only a witch coukl have
found it out. And the worst of it was
Jim himself came round the comer and
heard what she said. I shall always be
lieve she knew he was there and said it
on purpose for him to hear.
"James," old Mrs. Maloon saitl, with
the air of a dragoon, "your friend, Mrs.
Tompkins, is insulting your mother.
Come and defend me."
"Your mother, Mr. Maloon," said I,
getting on to my feet, "seems to be
pretty well ablo to defend herself. I
wish you joy of so amiable a relative."
And I took myself into the house.
But the old woman did send him away,
and there has been no living in the
house since. I will not go home and
give Cyrus a chance to say I didn't stay
my vacation out, and I know Mrs.
Maloon would send for him to-mojrow
if I should go away, and so I'm bound to
stay just to spite her. But I will say I
hate this detestable hole, and I never
want to set eyes on Flageolet again,
Home Journal.
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.
The sum of fl. 000,00!) has" been be
queathed by Mr. Kichard Berrige for use
in advancing economic and 6aaitary
science in Great Britain.
Two well diggers in .Washington
township, la., found at a depth of four
teen feet white walnuts (hickory nuts)
well preserved, and as they dug down
collected about half a-bushel. Then
they came upon a log of wood and a pair
of deer's horns, which were soft, but
soon hardened. The well was dug iu a
timbered country, but there'' is not a
hickory tree ia the county.
An artificial pumice stone is now pre
pared by moulding and baking a mixture
of white sand, feldspar and white fire
clay. By varying the proportions . and
quality of the ingredients, any desired
degree of fineness may be obtained. The
product is thus adapted- jor'use in all
industries where natnraVpumice stone
has been employed, and it has superse
ded the latter in parts of Germany and
Austria.
In a paper on injurious insects, Pro
fessor J. A. Lintner placed the total
number of iusect species in the world at
320,000. Of those found in the United
States, 7,000 or 8,000 species are fruit
pests, and at least 210 attack the apple.
A borer which -had hitherto troubled
only peach and plum trees has begun to
destroy the apple within the past two
years. The successful fruit-grower must
be something of an entomologist.
The dynamic value of one pound ol
good steam coal has been estimated by
I'rofessorW. D. Kogcrs as equivalent to
the work of one man oue day, while
three tons would represent hU work for
twenty years, counting U0O working days
in a year. He has further estimated that
a four-foot scam would yield one ton of
good coal to the square yard, and that
one square mile in area would represent
the labor of over 1,000,000 men for twenty
years.
From the report of the microscopist of
the Department of Agriculture, it ap
pears that wool may be made perfectly
moth-proof by treating it with the sul
phuric acid of commerce. The wool
may remain in the acid several hours
without appearing to undergo any
change, as far as is revealed by micro
scope. When treated in mass in a bath
of sulphuric acid for several minutes,
and afterward quickly washed in a weak
solution; of soda, and finally in pure
water and dried, it feels rough to the
fingers, owing to the separation of tho
scales, but they resume their natural
position, and appear finer.
Concerningthe original condition of the
sun, a British scientist now suggests that
its mass was formed by the collision of
two cool bodies coming together with the
velocity due to their mutual gravitation
this theory being supported by the phys
ical law that two bodies at rest ia space, if
free from the disturbing attraction of
other bodies, would certainly collide with
direct impact, and hence with no rota
tional momentum of the compound body
formed by the collision. The velocity
which a body thus falling into the sun
would acquire is stated as beingmorc than
thirty times that which our earth has in
its orbital motion ; the ear Mi speeds along
its orbit at a rate exceeding eighteen
miles a second, but a body falling freely
into the sun would have a velocity of 5S0
miles per second. It is calculated, there
fore, that if two cool, solid globes, each
of the same mean density as the earth, of
half the sun's diameter and twice the sun's
distance from the earlh, should collide,
the collision would last for a few hours, in
the course -of which they would be trans
formed into a violently agitated incandes
cent fluid mass, with jiges of heat ready
made in it, and swelled out by this heat
to possibly one and a half times, or two,
or three, or four times the sun's present
diameter.
Why Men Fail.
Few men come up to their highest
measure of success. Some fail through
timidity or lack of nerve. They are un
willing to take the risks incident to
life, and fail through fear in ventur
ing on ordinary duties. They lack
pluck. Others fail through imprudence,
lack of discretion, care or sound judg
ment. They over-estimate the future,
and build air castles and venture beyond
their depth, and fail and fall. Others,
again, fail through lack of application
and ierscverancc. They begin with good
resolves, but. soon get tired of that, and
want a change, thinking they can do
much better at something else. Thus
they fritter life away, and succeed at
nothing. Others waste time and money,
and fail for want of economy. Many
fail through ruinous habits; tobacco,
whisky, and beer spoil them for business,
drive their best customers from them,
and scatter their prospects of success.
Some fail for want of brains, education,
and fitness for their calling; they lack a
knowledge of human nature and of the
motives lhat actuate men. They, have
not qualified themselves for their occu
pation by practical education. Sdiool
Supplement.
How Remenyl Used to Travel
Betnenyi, the violinist, whose death
has been recently chronicled, was an
amusing man, but something of a poseur
at the same time. Ia traveling from
place to place on h's concert tours, while
sitting in a car reading a newspaper he
would hold a "dummy" violin tucked
under his chin. As his eyes absorbed
the news his agile fingers ran up and
down the strings. The passengers would
stare, but he appeared to be heedless of
their curious ga?e. He always said ia
reply to any q-iestions on tl;e subject
that he was keeping his hand in practice;
but the members of his company thought
that he did it more a? an advertisement
than anything else, for evervbody said :
"Who is the jslly little fellow with the
fiddle'" and there was always some one
to reply, "Oh, that's Bemsnyi. New
York Criti:
Methndiit.ChnrcliesIn the Cities.
In New Yerk there is one Methodist
Episcopal church to each 2-3, G I of pop
ulation; iu Chit ago one to each 10, U0 L ;
in St. Louis, one to each 2j,000; in Cin
cinnati, one to each 10,5C0; in San Fran
cisco, one to each 17, COO; in Cleveland,
one to each 13,888; in Pittsburg and Al
legheny.one to each 7,515 ; in Milwaukee,
one to each 10,500; in Detroit, one to
each 8750; in Indianapolis, one to each
6,000,and in Columbus, one toeachO.tfOG.
TIIE JOKERS' BUDGET.
TIIE IIU3IOR OP TUB' FUNNY
1VIUTHRS.
Footing the Bill She Worried Him
Masonic Simplicity A Hint tn
A Hint Inventors A Strong
Hint, Etc., Etc. T
FILLING THE BILL.
Mother "Why, Willie, you can't
possibly eat another plate of pudding,
can you?"
Willie "Oh, yes, ma, I can. Oaa
more plate will just fill the bilL."
SNATCHED BAIiP-IIEAPED.
"If I were bald as you," said Gus Da
Smith to one of the most prominent citi
ren of Austin, "I would wear-a wig."
"I don't bee why you should ever
wear a wig if you were bald," was tha
quiet response. "An empty barn
doesn't need any roof." Texas Sifting.
PERSEVERANCE.
"Young man, said a cross old lady
on a street car, "terbacker smokin
make3 me sick."
"It used to niako me sick, too,
ma'am" replied the young man, lighting
a fresh cigar, "but, Lord, you'll get
used to it artcr awhile."
A LOVER.
A Creston lover who addressed a love
scented letter to tho object of his af
fections, asking tho young la ly to be
come his partner through life, inscribed
on one corner of the envelope, "Sealed
proposal." The result was ho waa
awarded the contract. Omalui Bee.
. , CAUGHT 'A PROFESSOR.
Caller (to Mrs. Hendricks) Your
daughter's husband is an A. M., i3 he
not, Mrs. Hendricks."
Mrs. Hendricks (a trifle sourly) Yes,
ho is about a two o'clock. A. M. N. Y.
San.
IN NO MOOD.
Bobby Ma, can I go over to Willie
Waffle's ?
Mother You must ask your father,
Bobby.
Bobby (hopelessly) Well, ma, pa ia
putting up tho parlor stove. N. Y.
Sun.
WIIAT HE NEEDED.
Father "You want tho hand of my
daughter ? Have you any mean3 of ex
istence '( "
Young Man "At present, none; but
I have the best prospects."
Father "Why, then, you are in need
of a telescope not a wife ." P'dli. Ncics.
WANTED CORNED BEEF.
Householder (ordering) Ten pounds
of corned Wcf.
Grocer Yes, sir (pushing out cigars);
have one, sir I
Householder Simply corned beef; no
cabbage, thanks. Portlind Argus.
BliOEEN Un.
Wife Why, James, where, have you
been ? Your clothes are torn, your face
is scratched and your hair iu confusion.
What's the matter?
Husband Oh, nothing. I just tried
to pass a shop whero a fall opening of
bonnets was in progress.
SEEKING SAFETT.
Anarchist Grcchen, gif mo a clean
white shirt!
"Wife Yat ! Ilaf you lost your senses,
Adblph?
Anarchist Nein; but since dot exe
cution wo Anarchists haf to go in dis
guise. Texas Sifting.
THE WASTE.
"I see Edison claims that only about
one-fourth of every ton of coal is util
ized by the consumer."
I "So. I didn't think tho dealer meas
i ured it quite as short as r.ll tliat. Chi
cago A ems.
HEASON ENOUGH FOR ANXIET?.
Old lady coming to York Conductor,
there ain't going to bo a collision, I
hope?
Conductor I guess not.
Old Lady I want you to 1 very
keerful. I've got four dozens eggs in
this basket.
TOE ATTACK TO BE RENEWED.
Young Man I love your daughter
sir, devotedly. May I hoX5 for a blessj
ing from you ?
Old Man nave you spoken to my
daughter upon the subject I
. Young Man Yes, and she refused.
Old Man Well, doesn't that settle it ?
Young Man No, sir. You forget
that I am a life insurance agent, and
( never take no for an answer. N. Y.
Sun.
nE WAS PREPARED.
Miss Scntymente Ah, Mr. Donaught,
does not the sadness of the waning sea
Bon impress you with a sense of utter
wretchedness I
Mr. Donaught Yaas, it does. I nevah
stir out now unless I have my umbrcl
lali. Miss S. Your umbwella ?
Mr. D. Yaas, to keep off the wain,
you know. Cleveland Sun.
A STRONG HINT.
It was midnight in the fall and she
had waited long for him to go, but ha
persisted in hanging on and talking
about the poois. Finally lie said,. "Why
does Tennyson speak of men as God's
trees?"
"Because they don't leave till spring,"
was the reply.
He probphly look hi3 leave after that.
THE BAT.
This is an Indian boy's composition
on a rat: A rat or rats are good for noth
iig. They are useless animals, because
they "will steal, eat, or s;)oil whatever
comes in their way. They will also
eat eggs and little chickens and ducks.
They live in stables, pig pens, cellars,
and in the ships. 'The rats are great
travellers; they wilt go in ships across
the Ocoan. The sailors are sure to have
their ship sink if tho rats have left; per
haps the rats are only good for to tell
when the ship is going to sink.
COKN IN EGYPT.
Mr. Hayseed (to wife who has returnee!
from church) What was tho sermon
about ?
Mrs. Hayseed Suthin' about Joseph
goin' doun to Egypt to buy corn.
Mr. Hayseed Did the dominie say
what corn was worth down there?
Truth.
SUE CAUGHT HIM.
no What will you have, dear, candy
or icecream ?
She No, Edward, get mo some pop
corn, please I
He Do you like that stnff I
She Yes; I like everything that
pops. Harper's Bazar.
A BIG DIFFERENCE.
St. Louis Dame I hear- that our old
friend Augustus Smith is married.
Chicago Dame Yes; 6he married her
father's confidential clerk.
"It must have been a quiet wed
ding." "Oh, no; it was a grand affair."
"Why, there was only just a littlo
piece about it in tho Chicago papers."
"Well, tho parents approved tho
match, you know." Si. Patil Globe.
CHESTNUT BOUGnS.
"How bright tho heavenly stars are
to-night, Mr. Sanipson !"
"Ah, yes, Miss Smith; but they aro
dim and lustreless compared with cer
tain earthly ones," he paid, looking into
her eyes.
"And the wed," sho went on, "how
soft and lov, ujs it gently moves tho
chestnut trees."
HE WOULD DO niS TART.
George "Blanche, I think I will get
married."
Blanche "Yes, George, and does
your heart beat respousively to somo
one's?"
"Well, no, not exactly, but I can al
most support myself, and I think it's a
pretty mean girl that won't help a little
bit." Texas Sifting.
BACK IN THE MARKET.
no (at a Chicago evening entertain
ment) Do you know that very brilliant
looking woman at tho piano, Miss
Breezy ?
Miss Breezy Oh, yes, intimately. I
will be glad to present you, Mr. Waldo.
He Thanks. Is she an unmaried
lady? Miss Breezy Yes, sho has been un
married twice.
FOUND it our.
Bangs had his portrait paintel two or
three years ago, paying a goodly price
for tho work. The other day ho met
tho artist on the street, and asked him
how he was getting along.
"Splendidly, responded the knight of
tho brush. "I'm overrun wi th orders.
Come in and see my work. It's letter
than anything I ever did lefore. I am
just finding out that I didn't know how
to paint at all when I did your por
trait." SnE MARRIED HIM.
Said an aged matron to mo once:
"When my cousin William came homo
from his three years' cruise his old blue
clotli suit with brass buttons looked very
old-fashioned, and I said, 'Cousin Wil
liam, you should buy yourself somo
new clothes; you can alford it.' But ho
answered, "I do not worry alwut my
clothes, Cousin Mary; I have brought
homo four shot-bags full of gold pieces,
and tho girls will marry me anyway
now." And to my "Did any oue marry
him !" sho replied, while a faint tingo
mantled her aged cheeks, "Yes, I mar
lied him."
an Admirer
Mrs. KniekerlKxiker Where is your
hnslwind to-day, Mrs. Van SlycuiN?
Mrs. Van Slycur Ho went up tho
Hudson to Nyack.
"Ho frequently goes up there, doesn't
he?"
"Very often. Ho is a great lover of
nature. He gws to Nyack to admire
tho leauty of tho place. It is so ro
mantic." "So I've heard; but o you know that
the beauty of the place is a young
widow f "
Mrs. Van Slycur faints. Texas Sift
ing. A HINT TO INVENTORS.
A fair American came into a down
town drug-store lately and inquired for
a certain kind of tooth-powder.
"Haven't got it in stock, madam,"
said the clerk.
"But," persisted tho fair customer, "I
have friends who purchaso it here habit
ually." "What kind did you say it was, mad
am?" "Automatic, sir automatic tooth
powder." Voice from the rear in stentorian ac
cents: "Try her on aromatic."
And sho beat a retreat, with much
confusion and tho desired secies of
dentvifice.
SHE SILENCED mil.
The following conversation, heard by
a reporter on tho street last night, is
suggestive:
"Aro you still tugging away at thoso
gloves of yours ?"
"Yes, dear."
"You know it disgusts me to seo you
walking through tho streets making
your toilet."
"Does it, dear?"
"Why, do you know that I would just
as soon see you pulling on your stock
ings in the streets as your gloves ?" .
"Most men would," was all she said,
and he had nothing else to say." St.
To&cph Neus,
SALTED WITH DIAMONDS.
A SHARPEB'3 PRETENDED DIS
COVERY OF "VALUABLE MINES.
Capitalists Blindfolded and Led
Zigzag Through a Wild Region
of Arizona The Scheme Exposed
Among the countless schemes to which
the great banker, Kalston, who loved to
be called the "Financial King of the
Pacific Coast," devoted no small share
of the California Bank, of which he was
President, was the exploiting of mines
in the Pyramid range of mountains, close
to the borderline which divides Arizona
from New Mexico. This was early in
the 70's, when speculation was rife
and the discovery of bonanzas an every
day event. Among the employes of
j Balston in the Pyramid mines was one
! f l u j
vieurgBArnom, a man oi meagre education,-
but bright and ambitious. In his
shanty on the wide mountain side and
over his bacon and beans he was ever
dreaming of some plan that would
bring Dame Fortune at -his waiting feet
and shower upon him her princely
favors. He saw men making fortunes
by a single cast of the die and losing
them by a single throw. WTiile yet
dreaming his dream of wealth there
came to him the bright-colored story of
the great diamond discoveries of Cape
Colony. His tecminir brain at once de-
! vised a scheme which, in his way,
j equaled Low s bouth Sea Bubble. Ho
had grown unscrupulous in his desire
and had come to believe that, with him
at least, the end justified the means.
The soil around the Pyramid district
was rich in color and had character
enough to inaugurate any mining scheme,
however wild and impracticable. So
with a comrade, Jim Haggerty, with
whom he had long associated, Arnold
inad-1 long tours over the surroundin -country
After a few weeks of this kind
of work he resign cd his place ia the
mines with the given indention of seek
ing the fairer fields of Mexico.
He next turned up in San Francisco in
the fall of 1871. lie immediately found
Balston and astonished even that bold
operator by revealing that he had dis
covered in Arizona rich diamond fields
quite as extensive as those of Cape
Colony. From the gripsack he had
brought with him he poured forth a
wondrous display of rough diamonds
which had been washed from the yield
ing soil of the new find. They were many
and apparently of value.
Balston, ever ready for a venture, espe
cially one which promised such dazzling
results, entered at once into a proposed
exploration of the new diamond fields. -He
introduced Arnold to several leading
capitalists who at once became enthusi
astic over the new Golconda. With the
rapid action peculiar to Californians, the
clique who had been led into the secret
immediately determined to visit the
mines and if found to be all right to pur
chase Arnold's claims and titles for the
modest but snug sum of $1,000,000.
Arnold reluctantly accepted the offer.
In due course of time the party of cap
italists interested left San Francisco for
the promised land. At Camp Ralston,
tho headquarters of the Pyramid mining
speculation, the eager capitalists were
met by Arnold and Ilaggerty, the latter
being introduced as a sort of side part
ner, like the silent mariner of. the Ad
miral, of H. M. S. Pinafore. The two
worthies were to conduct Balston and
his associates to the diamond
fields. The party was led by a
route as zigzag as a snake fence
and as rough as a corduroy road. Part
of the way was along the Gila river to
where the Rio Prieto empties into it. At
this point the eyes of the jaded capital
istic visitors were carefully blindfolded
and their animals were led by their
guides for some distance further. When
they were permitted to see daylight
again they were in the midst of a clump
of trees which stood on the river's bank.
They were given shovcl3 and picks and
told to dig anywhere about the clump of
trees. Each of the visitors did so and
each ia turn brought forth one or more
of the precious stones they sought for.
They were everywhere, and the million
aire miners wiped the clinging soil from
off their hands softly, a3 though it was a
sacred deposit
On their return to San Francisco th
capitalists wished to form a company.
In ten days it was accomplished. Arnold
was paid his $1,00 ,000 and made super
intendent of the new mines. He at once
made known the location of the diamond
fields and they were visited by several
stockholders in the company. Diamonds
were found bv each and all of them. nd
all went merry as a marriage bell until
Arnold skipped for the East.
It was then thought best to call an ex
pert, and Professor King,the well-known
geologist, was selected. He first discov
ered that the ground around the clump
of trees on the bauk of the Rio Prieto
had been cleverly "salted" with refuse
diamonds, such as may be cheaply
bought in the mart3 at Amsterdam, it
was also found that the diamonds found
by the capitalists had been "tried" at
Amsterdam, and, as Professor King said:
"While diamonds may exist in Arizona,
it is hardly to be expected that nature
will produce them -partly cut or pol
ished." The members of the new diamond
company were both thunderstruck and
indignant, and 6teps were quickly taken
to bring Arnold to justice. He was at
his home in his native Kentucky, and
the machinery of the law was brought to
bear upon him there. He was arrested,
but was never taken out of the blue grass
country for punishment. In some man
ner he secured his release and entered
upon a life of wild enjoyment. His ex
cesses were of thort duration, and after
five years of feasting and rioting with
ill-gotten wealth his life went out.
ilow much his side partner, Jim Ilag
gerty, received for his nhare of the plun
der was never known, although it must
have been a considerable amount. He
was looked upon as a friend and tool,
rather than a bad sinner, and was left
un punished. However, he died poor and
miserable. Philadelphia Press.
A well has been discovered in Mobile,
Ala., which sprouts forth sparkling
rrater heavily charged with carbonic
icid gas. When the water is sweetened
wkh svrup it is sail to make a delectable
1 beverage not unlike soda water.